Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Fistful Of Omake ❯ The Tendo Bunch ( Chapter 43 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

omake omake omake omake

"Sure you want to stick around here, kid?"

Ranma sighed, then turned and glared. "I've handled the worst that you can dish out!"

Toltiir blinked. "Excuse me? The *worst*?!"

Ranma glared at everyone snickering. "Yeah!"

The cat grinned. "Let's see, how about if I do - THIS!"

----------

"Here's a story,
'bout a man named Tendo,
who lost his wife,
and his daughters,
with emotional excess!"

"Here's a story,
'bout Saotome,
who had a little son,
that he dragged around,
and they were all alone!"

"Then one day Tendo came to realize,
and it was much more than a hunch,
he needed daughters - so adopted,
that's the way that he got a Tendo Bunch!
The Tendo Bunch!
The Tendo Bunch!
Way too many - but that's the Tendo Bunch!"

------------

"How could you kill them off?" Ranma demanded of the Elder god.

Toltiir blinked. "What are you talking about? She went off to live with relatives and took her daughters with her. Look into the pool. Kasumi's working as a short order cook, Nabiki's attending business college, and Akane's off with her ski club. They just happen to be nowhere near Nerima."

"And who're these girls?!" Ranma pointed to the number of *new* Tendo girls.

"They're from a 'Kingdom Hearts' set of universes," said the Elder god of mischief. "Letting them get swallowed by Darkness is no fun, so they just ended up a little younger and partially amnesiac."

"Kingdom Of Hearts?! That's dumb."

---------

Soun held up the postcard. "At last! Today's the day! Aerith! Cinderella!"

The two girls stepped out of the kitchen and smiled at their adoptive though silly father. "Yes, father?" "Otou-san?"

"Family meeting," said Soun, crossing to the backyard and sticking his head in the koi pond. He'd had to expand it considerably, but when summer got unbearably hot the depths of the pool cooled things off. "Ariel!"

The red head looked up from where she was reading and nodded.

Soun went up stairs and knocked on a door. "Yuffie?"

"Yeah, pops?"

Soun banged his head against the ceiling, then turned to confront his sneaky "daughter". "How do you *do* that, anyway?"

"It's a knack," admitted Yuffie, ninja-thief of the household. "Family meeting, right?"

Soun nodded and tried to get his heartrate back under control. "Have you seen..."

"Mulan? She's jogging, I think. Jasmine's probably on the roof again. Belle's in her room, want me to get her?" Yuffie offered.

Soun frowned.

Yuffie sighed. "Fine. No charge."

--------

At the Well, Ranma-mw blinked and scowled. "What are *they* doing here?"

"Well, they're orphans, and they're princesses. The bad guys are after princesses," explained Toltiir.

"Shinobu Maehara is a princess?!"

"Well, in a manner of speaking," admitted Toltiir.

---------

Soun went into the spare building. Even he could admit than when he'd started adopting girls, well, he'd gone just a little overboard.

"Makoto! Hotaru! Michiru!"

"Yo!" "Hai, papa!" "I was just going to practice my violin."

"You can do that later, Michiru, family meeting," said Soun. He quickly crossed over to the other dorm room, steeled himself, and addressed the occupants. "Rei, Lillith, Sasami, Shinobu. Family meeting. Rei, stop putting spirit wards on Lillith. Lillith, get your big sisters and stop trying to drain Rei's blood."

"Morrigan! Setsuna! Stop fighting! Family meeting!"

----------

"What about *them?*" Ranma-mw pointed at the display. "They're not princesses!"

"Well, they weren't happy with their original timeline," allowed Toltiir.

---------

"Rei, Misato, Asuka, Maya," called Soun. "Family meeting."

--------

Maleficient glanced at Jaffar out of the corner of her eye. "Soon."

Jaffar smirked. "No. Soun."

"He'll want to engage one of his 'daughters' to this... Ranma," said Maleficient slowly. "It was a sufficient obsession with him to adopt them upon their escape to this world."

"Pfeh," spat Sephiroth. "Watch. If I offer that Genma a decent amount of coin - he'll sell his son off before they come anywhere near the Tendo Dojo. Providing we don't simply unleash the Heartless and destroy this world before then."

----------

"Where do I begin?" Soun began.

"Oh, this is about Ranma, isn't it?" Setsuna said as she consulted her day planner. "Odd how time gets away from me anymore."

Everyone but Soun laughed for some odd reason that completely escaped him. "Yes, well. Family honor demands that he marry a Tendo. An honor arrangement made before his birth."

"Hold it right there," said Morrigan. "What was the exact wording of this document? Do you have a copy?"

"Uhm, it was an honor arrangement - verbal. I..." Soun began to sweat as he usually did when Morrigan focussed her full attention on him.

Shinobu moved through the group, passing out glasses of iced tea.

"Could it have actually been something like: 'Tendo - we should unite the two Schools Of Anything Goes by uniting the families. My son should marry your daughter(s).'"

"You engaged *all* of us to him? Oh my." Shinobu turned red.

"No no no no no," said Soun hastily. "ONE of you must marry him."

"Oh," Morrigan snapped her fingers. "Pity."

Soun twitched a couple of times. Maybe Morrigan should be excluded. On the other hand, one week engaged to Morrigan and Ranma would be experienced enough to make one of his other daughters happy. "What I'm suggesting is that he spend one week engaged to each of you, and then decide at the end of that time which he'll marry."

There was some general dismay over that suggestion. Makoto glared around the group. "Whose idea was that?"

Lillith tried to look innocent. She failed.

"Might have known."

"He'll be here any minute," began Soun.

"Let go of me, you old fool!" A voice was raised in apparent frustration.

"That would be them," said Setsuna.

-------------

Ranma STARED. This could not be covered by a simple stare or sweatdrop or boggling. No, this required all caps STARING.

"And this is Shinobu, she's 11," said Soun. A short haired girl curtseyed and offered a shy smile.

Another shorthaired girl nudged him. "Here's a program. Lists all the girls, has a photo, their likes and dislikes, what turns 'em on, and how far they'll go. A steal at just 10,000 yen or three materia!"

Soun cleared his throat. The girl sighed, rolled her eyes, and stalked off with a "maybe later."

Genma puzzled. "How many daughters do you *have*, Tendo?"

"Well, in order of age, there's: Morrigan (21), Misato (20), Setsuna (20), Aerith (19), Cinderella (18), Tifa (18), Belle (17), Maya (17), Michiru (17), Makoto (16), Mulan (16), Rei Hino (16), Yuffie (16), Jasmine (15), Rikku (15), Ariel (14), Asuka (14), Rei Ayanami-Tendo (14), Lillith (13), Hotaru (12), Shinobu (11), Sasami (9)." Soun caught his breath.

"Twenty two daughters?" Ranma turned a blank look towards his father. "You engaged me to over twenty different girls at the same time?!"

"Well, my boy, I've always thought you could be a 'man among men' - now's your chance to prove it."

----------

"Sh-sh-shampoo!" Ranma ducked and ran.

"Ranma, you no escape! Shampoo kill!" The Amazon leapt up over the roof, ready to pursue.

"SOUL FIST!" "Deep Submerge!" "Silence Glaive!" "...dead scream..." "Jupiter Thunder ATTACK!" "Eat hot lead!" "AT Field Projectile." "Thrown frypan!"

Mulan made a disgusted noise. "Darn it! You didn't leave anything for *me* to fight!"

Yuffie paused from where she was looting the body. "She's not dead. Maybe you can get in a fight after she's recovered some."

Shampoo groaned. Just her luck she'd run into a Japanese Amazon Village.

---------

"I, Jadeite, claim your energy for the Dark Kingdom!"

"SOUL FIST!" "Deep Submerge!" "Silence Glaive!" "...dead scream..." "Jupiter Thunder ATTACK!" "Eat hot lead!" "AT Field Projectile." "Thrown frypan!" "Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken - archery version!" "Steal Materia!" "Summon Materia! Bahamut!" "Dolphin Fist!" "Pretty Sammy - Cute Look Attack!" "Fire Soul!"

Ranma bounced up. "There's some villain guy around here, right?"

Everyone pointed to a pile of ash.

Ranma frowned. "Okay, I'll settle for his hench-youma."

Everyone pointed to a second pile of ash.

Ranma went off to sulk, muttering something about not getting to kick anyone's butt lately.

--------

"Ranma Saotome," sneered Tatewaki Kuno, "today is the day I free the fair Rei and the tidy Belle from your sorcerous grasp!"

"Ranma, today is the day I free Michiru from your perversions," proclaimed Haruka, trying to crack her knuckles.

"Ranma! Today is the day I avenge what you did with Jasmine!" Ryouga thumped his chest.

Ranma sighed. "I don't suppose anyone's figured out yet that:
a) Michiru's only interested in my girl form, and that marrying me would give her an extra measure of respectibility because she feels that she could marry a guy and still make out with my girl form?
b) I turn into a girl with cold water, and that two of you three still haven't figured it out?
c) I'm not doing anything with anyone except going out on dates and the only thing interesting in *those* has been when a martial arts battle occurs?"

"Prepare to die, Ranma!"

"I didn't think so," Ranma said, casually spinning Haruka into Kuno's multi-strike thrust attack pattern. "Nobody ever listens." Ranma bounced off Ryouga's head just a moment before a bokken cracked in half on meeting that skull. "It's like all that training I get at the dojo. You wouldn't believe half the crap I have to dodge in the morning." Do the splits under Ryouga's umbrella thrust, uppercut.

---------

"Ranma, I'd like you to meet a very good friend of mine, we met several years ago and she's... a lot nicer than her reputation." Mulan indicated the girl with her.

"The infamous Ranma Saotome, I was beginning to wonder if you really existed. Mulan and a number of the Tendo girls helped me through some dark times, if you hurt them, I will get even."

"Kodachi! It's nothing like that," Mulan made a dismissing gesture. "Ranma has a little problem expressing himself. That's all. Take a look at the father that raised him and you'll forgive relatively small faults."

"Perhaps," said Kodachi Kuno. "If you can forgive me my deranged brother, I can forgive your father to some extent. In any case, the movie starts shortly. Shall we?"

---------

Ariel sighed. She knew she couldn't go out on a regular date, she had to worry about drying out among other things.

Ranma + cold water = Ranma-chan. Who at this point was trying to figure out what the heck to even talk about with Ariel since they had so little in common. Sure, she was cute, but so were most of the girls.

Ranma paused in rowing the boat. Come to think of it, there were only a few of Soun's daughters he had anything in common with and could have a reasonable conversation with. Get along with - most of them fell into that category.

Tifa, Morrigan, Misato, Makoto, Asuka, the younger of the two Rei - all were pretty good martial artists. Nowhere near his level, of course. Well, maybe Tifa and Morrigan.

Ariel interrupted. "Deep thinking?"

"Yeah, I..." Ranma winced as he noticed what was on the boat heading their way.

"I'll get that mermaid yet!" Cruella DeVille called out from her boat. "I'll dine on her flesh and become immortal!"

"I'm not into girl+girl," yelled back Ariel, deliberately misunderstanding. "Meet you back at the docks, Ranma."

---------

Maleficent chuckled as the Heartless poured past her in their hordes.

Captain Hook had been soundly defeated by Ranma and his crew. Ursula had ended up sashimi. Jafar had been turned into a genie and stuffed in a lamp.

She was different though. There would be no evading her forces, and while they were busy with the Heartless, she would take the Princesses and...

"Ahem!"

Maleficent was a Disney character, they did not normally form a large sweatdrop. She did. Slowly and with a certain villainous elegance, she turned.

Ranma cracked his knuckles. Mulan whirled her sword through a quick manuever and held it ready. Saturn brandished her Silence Glaive. Pluto held her Time Key Staff ready. Sailor Neptune checked her hair in the Neptune Mirror. Morrigan smirked and formed a ball of purple lightning.

Maleficent blinked.

Misato clicked the safety on a BFG. Aerith held up the bracelet with her Summon materia. Cinderella looked unhappy. Tifa was grinning and adjusting her "goon smacking" gloves. Sailor Mars held a handful of ofuda/spirit wards. Jasmine was making a couple of experimental passes with a scimitar. Asuka and Rei Ayanami-Tendo had matching assault rifles. Ariel was in her wheelchair and holding a harpoon gun. Pretty Sammy had her ribbon out.

Maleficent pursed her lips thoughtfully.

Shampoo held her sword. Ukyo readied her spatula. Sailor Uranus looked perturbed. Tatewaki Kuno looked bewildered. Kodachi had her clubs out.

"You cannot stop me," said Maleficent. "Behold my power! I..."

Yuffie and Rikku ran away, holding the witch's staff and power orb.

"DIE!" The witch began summoning her power.

An awful lot of attack phrases were used.

----------

The Ranma at Mimir's Well groaned as everyone began a chorus of "Ding Dong, the witch is dead."

Toltiir shrugged. "Disney characters. You have to expect a musical number every so often."

"So who do I end up with in *this* mess," grumbled Ranma.

"Her," indicated the cat.

Ranma fainted as the song "Under The Sea" began playing.

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(1) Shinobu Maehara from "Love Hina". Lillith and Morrigan from "Dark Stalkers". Makoto Kino/Sailor Jupiter Hotaru Tomoe/Sailor Saturn Setsuna Meiou/Sailor Pluto Michiru Kaioh/Sailor Neptune from "Sailor Moon." Asuka, Rei, and Misato are from "Evangelion". Various Disney Princesses and Final Fantasy characters their respective sources. Sasami from Tenchi Muyo.

Admittedly, unless Ariel gets legs the match wouldn't work. In the meantime, Ranma's protective instincts are likely to reach out for this wheelchair bound girl, ne?