Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction ❯ In a Sentimental Mood ❯ Chapter 9

“I'm sorry, Spike. I…”

 

“Well sorry doesn't change anything!” Spike roared, whirling to face his father. All the years of pent up anger, of hatred, of betrayal…all the lonely years without a family…came exploding to the surface like a dormant volcano suddenly awakened. He'd never felt such raw emotion before, and he wasn't sure how to deal with it. He felt like destroying something, like screaming, like blasting something into oblivion just like the laser cannon. He felt like crying…something he hadn't done since his mother's funeral.

 

“Spike…”

 

“I don't want to hear any excuses, Dad!” He sneered the title and kicked the chair he'd been sitting in across the room. It crashed into the far wall and landed on the floor in splinters. “You left us! You ran away with your tail between your legs and left us alone and helpless! You killed my mother!”

 

The gun was in his hands before he even realized what he was doing. Staring down the length of his arm, he was surprised to see how steady it was. How certain. It felt good, like a security blanket during a storm. It calmed him and his breathing came deep and even. Focusing on the tear-filled eyes he was aiming at released the rest of the tension in his shoulders.

 

“While you were hiding out,” Spike began calmly, “I was raised by the Syndicate. While you were saving your own life, I was taking lives. You thought you were helping us? Because of you, your wife is dead and your son became the very monster you were running from. I don't see any way this story can have a happy ending.”

 

“I do.” Galen stood, leaning heavily on his cane. He looked much older than when Spike first arrived. Older, tired, and defeated. “Go ahead and shoot. Put all your anger into that bullet and pull the trigger. I'll be able to join Lily, you'll have your revenge, and the Syndicate will have their weapon. That wireless test was the last stage, so it's finally completed. All the data is in the computer over there. Give it to them so you can get started on your killing spree. I don't care anymore. My life was only important when I thought I'd have someone to share it with.”

 

Spike lowered the gun, his rage quickly draining from his body. He felt empty. No emotions, no sentiments for the past, no hopes for the future. And he liked it this way. He felt free and unburdened like when he first broke from the Syndicate and was able to finally live his own life and do what he wanted for a change. Able to make his own decisions.

 

“I don't want to kill you,” Spike admitted. “And I don't want to turn you or your weapon over to those vultures. I left the Syndicate years ago. I'm just a bounty hunter now, and you were a way to pay the bills and put food on the table. The only reason I came in the first place was to satisfy my own curiosity. I'll just tell them I found you dead…killed by a meteor or something…and we'll go back to the way things were. You should be safe here. Even if the Syndicate finds this hideout, you have your lasers to fight back. Take care…Dad.”

 

Spike shoved his hands in his pockets, turned, and headed for the stairs. He heard Galen call after him, voice full of pain and tears, but he didn't look back or even pause. All he wanted was to leave and pretend this was all a bad dream. Once he got back to the Bebop, he'd apologize to Jet and never complain about him acting like a father ever again. His acting was better than the real thing. Or nothing at all.