D. N. Angel Fan Fiction ❯ Unreadable ❯ Unreadable ( Chapter 1 )

Unreadable

 

By SatoDai

 

Warnings: Shonen-ai(one-sided), short, unplanned, odd format.

 

Disclaimer: I don't own DNAngel…or Satoshi or Daisuke…they all belong to Yukiru Sugisaki.

 

--

 

I have a confession to make so I am telling you to get it out of my system, and because you, if no one else, have a right to know. I hope that you do not hate me for this, but I am already aware that that is probably an inevitable outcome of the tale I am about to unfold. But please, if nothing else, hear me out to the end, so that you know the truth…the whole truth, and why what happened did happen.

 

It started out simply enough; we were at school, on the roof of the building, eating our lunch like usual. We never cared that it was against the rules to be up there; but with his charm, we never got told off for it, teachers and pupils alike keeping their mouths shut over the matter because they liked him a lot. But then again, so did I.

 

I'm not sure what we were talking about; I was too busy watching him to notice what he was really saying, even though I knew that one day, he was going to catch me out, him being so smart that he would notice in a heartbeat -- and perhaps he had but didn't mind. Thinking back, it was a pretty dangerous and stupid thing to do, but at the time, I couldn't help it at all.

 

I remember getting out my math book to do some homework I had forgotten about, when he offered to help me, with such a rare smile on his face that I nearly blushed. I accepted his kind offer, then he moved closer, pointing at the questions that I had written down and telling me what to put to figure it out. Some part of me in the back of my mind easily followed his instructions, my hand on auto-pilot as I glanced at him, not even looking at the book I was writing in, while he was using it to guide me.

 

He looked so calm and at ease while he explained the difficult equations that I couldn't help but shift closer, looking into his gorgeous eyes even from the angle I was at, not even having the sense to realise that he would notice the stare at some point and comment on it, which he did.

 

It was a soft call of my name, and I looked into confused sapphires intently, seeing his mouth move, but the words lost on my deaf ears as I was filled with such a strong emotion that I had never felt before. I think he was asking if I was alright, or something along those lines, as I could hear concern in his voice, but I didn't answer, too transfixed by his eyes to say a word.

 

His hand touched my shoulder, and before I knew what I was doing…I kissed him.

 

I'd like to be able to tell you that he kissed me back, that we're going out, that he loves me, but I can't. Because it isn't true.

 

The way he reacted…it hurts to remember, such an unreadable expression on his face as he roughly pulled back, his once calm, beautiful eyes blazing with anger so cold that it felt like he was surrounding me with ice. The anger…it was plain and clear in his voice, harsher than if he had yelled, the frosty words that he spoke to me that cut through my heart like a blade before he collected his things and left.

 

I haven't seen him since - though that was many years ago - and the months where everyone asked where he was with no answers still seem to haunt me every day. I had gone looking for him, but I never found him; even though I went to his house, I found it completely bare, I went to school, but they said he had not even said a word to them about it, and though the police searched for him for what seemed like forever, they never found him.

 

And it was my fault.

 

I always wonder what happened to him, but it seems like I will never know; he was smart and rich enough to do whatever he wanted, he could be anywhere…he could be dead, for all I know.

 

It still pains me to think of him, to know that no matter what, I should have paid attention, kept my eyes from his face and listened to the words he was saying…but there is nothing I can do about it now, especially seeing as I am now married to you, and we have a son, a son cursed to bear the obstacle of the phantom thief Dark very soon. It will be very nice to be able to talk to Dark again, though I wonder if there is anything he knows about where the boy I loved went…

 

But I know that I would not be able to do or say anything even if I knew where he was; he obviously wanted to stay away from me.

 

Please Riku, forgive me for what I did…for what I am. Forgive me for our marriage being a sham, for the times I told you that I loved you more than anything else when it was a lie, forgive me if this confession breaks your heart…

 

You forgave me for lying about not being Dark…

 

But I don't know if you can forgive me for loving Satoshi.