Digimon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ It's Off To Work We Go ❯ One-Shot

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
I (Lashana) own only myself. The Characters of the Harem (Like Kenshin, Mewtwo an Blackwargreymon, etc.) don't belong to me (I wish they did though *wistful sigh*).

Little background check so you can understand the fanfic. In Reality, I'm a Library Technician. Basicly I work for the Public Library in my city and input book information (author, title, subject, that kind of stuff) into a computer for other people to see(patrons of the library). Currently our office is in a basement, and all thirty of us are broken up into small groups to fit into five smaller rooms. There's no heat, much cold, and our new boss can be a pain in the arse at most times. Upstairs of us is People Services. Basicly, they help people find jobs and hand out Welfare cheques. They also don't like us basement people very much (that's cuz they're morons).

Note: Words between ~ ~ and { } means telepathy. Words between << >> means journal entry. That is all.

Anyway, Read, Enjoy & Review!



It's Off To Work We Go

<< Dear Pain-in-the-arse Computer (aka My Journal)

You'd think that being able to portal yourself anywhere in all the Universal Dimensions would be a useful trait when trying to escape being at work. Well, you'd be wrong. Dead wrong. While portaling yourself everywhere is fun, in Reality, it doesn't pay the bills. And for some reason it's frowned upon to simply portal a few million out of a bank vault. Can't imagine why.

What was I saying again? Ah yes. The everlasting joy of being at work. Ha. Not. What makes it worse is that it's a Monday. And we all know how much Mondays suck. The whole 'getting up at 6 am after sleeping in for two days' is just plain evil. Evil.

But this Monday. This Monday takes the cake. Y'know why? Because some of the bloody stupid gits in the Harem decided to come visit me today. I'm typing this as they peer over my shoulders. It's not been a fun day.

Kang, I know you're reading this. Put. The. Stapler. Down.

I don't really know what possessed these idiots to steal one of Telca's spellbooks and follow me here. I also don't know how they managed to capture an inkling of intelligence and use a spell to make themselves invisible to everyone but me and shrink Malcho down to the size of a large cobra. Granted that's not all that great a plan either.....

Excuse me a minute. >>

WHACK!

"Stop whining Kang. You deserved that," I growled at the draconian as I ripped the stapler from his hands and set it on the desk next to my keyboard and the ever useful encyclopedia before I turned back to the computer and resumed typing.

<< Oh great. Now I don't remember what I was typing. Dammit.>>

"Zelgadis, if you don't stop laughing I'm going to drive that letter opener into your forehead," I hissed under my breath, trying not to draw attention to myself as I vainly attempted to keep the idiots in line while seeming normal to my nearby coworkers.

I came to the conclusion that this wasn't going to work when I saw Nightcrawler swinging from the fluorescent lights above us. I nearly inhaled a pen in shock when I saw my boss approaching. Oh Lords...kill me now.

As I listened to my boss outline a few new jobs for me to do - Oh sure, I'd love to add three more things to my workload! - I was hard pressed to keep a straight face as Kang walked up behind her and started making faces at me, trying to make me laugh.

What he didn't know was that as soon as her back as turned, I was going to roll that book cart over his foot.

Naturally nothing goes my way. As soon as my boss was done with me, the phone rang. Someone can't figure out how to install a screensaver. I swear, these people frighten me. How can someone not know how to download an install a measly screensaver?! Ah well. Library Technician by day, killer of the Harem by night...no wait. That's not right.....

"Mewtwo, if you so much as touch my coffee mug, I will personally tape you to the coworker that doesn't wash," I growled as I stalked past him, forced to hide a grin when he shuddered.

But of course, what do I find along my way to the other small office? I saw Kenshin with his hair stuck in the fax machine, Malcho photocopying his face (although the idiot forgot that he's currently invisible) and I'm sure I saw Duncan in the Holdings Room going through all the backlog of books.

Why me Lords? Why? Dutifully ignoring all of them, I ducked into the other office and proceeded to teach someone how to use the Internet. The fact that there's still someone in this technological day and age that doesn't know how to use the Internet worries me. No wait, scrap that. It downright frightens me.

A sound behind me made me glance back over my shoulder, biting my tongue when I saw Blackwargreymon standing closeby. {Whatever it is, it can wait.} He looks nervous. Why?

{It can't, actually} he sent to me via the Bond we shared. {There's something wrong with the spell.}

That can't be a good thing. Quickly rushing through the rest of the lesson, I showed my coworker how to download, save and install the Gods-be-damned screensaver, told her to call me if she had any problems, then rushed out of the room, dragging my Bonded along with me.

{Tell me. Now!}

{You know how Malcho was photocopying his face?}

{Yes....}

He sighed and handed me a piece of paper, backing away at the expression on my face when I saw a perfect portrait of my Quetzacoatl on the sheet. I don't know what I looked like at that moment, but another one of my coworkers saw me and turned to run the other way. {Where is he?}

{He's uh....he's under your desk.}

Great. Now I have the catastrophe of having a Harem in the office that was slowly becoming visible to everyone present. There's no hope in hell of being able to hide them from thirty co-workers. I mean, we're in a basement, it's not like I can shove the Guys out a window or something..... This is not good.

I got halfway to my little corner of hell when I heard the screams.

"Oh my God!! SNAKE! SNAKE!!"

Crap. After quickly exchanging panicked looks with Blackwargreymon, I broke into a full run and fairly threw myself into the room, my gaze darting around the various cubicles until I saw a coworker perched on her desk while she flung everything she could get her hands on at the now very visible Malcho. The fact that he was almost half his normal size didn't help either.

Taking the initiative, I snatched up a hardcover book and moved to stand between the freaking out woman and an obviously panicked Malcho. "Run for it!" I yelled to the whimpering coworker. Personally I can't believe that I'm even pretending to help her. I can't stand the bitch. Ah well.... "Oh My Gods! It's gonna attack! RUN!!"

As Malcho mock lunged at us, she let out a screech of fright and bolted from the room. I don't think her feet even touched the floor. "Well, that's one problem taken care of...." I sighed as I set the book down and looked at my Quetzacoatl. Where the hell was I going to hide a 25 foot long purple winged snake?! My gaze casually drifted up to the basements heat ventilation duct, the rarely used heat ventilation system. "Hmm...."

Just as I was about to make Malcho squeeze himself into the air vents, another scream from across the basement caught my attention. "Now what?"

~LASHANA!!~

Oh great. That's Mewtwo. "What?" I growled out loud, knowing that he could hear me.

~The invisibility spell! It's gone!~

That means that there's who knows how many of the Harem wandering around the office in plain view. In plain view of thirty women. Some of whom I wouldn't piss off for fear of losing a limb. Oh crap. Knowing that I couldn't go around yelling at the Guys in my 'Reality' guize, I quickly made a mad dash for the women's bathroom, knocking Wolverine out of the way as I barrelled into the room. Free stall, free stall...aha!

Let me tell you what happened while I was weaving the spell that would rid me of my 'Reality' form and return me to my normal Elfishness.

While I was hiding in a stall, Wolverine and Duncan had taken refuge in the Holdings Room, stubbornly refusing to let any of the others in - which would have saved me much trouble later on.

Kenshin was carrying a fax machine in his arms and running around wailing about his beautiful hair, while Mewtwo was cowering under a desk and trying not to get beaned over the head with one of the numerous hardcover books being thrown his way.

My Bonded was currently running from a small group of women who had brandished various office supplies and vowed to kill him. Malcho was in the same boat, he was curled into a tight ball of wings and scales in a corner while another group lobbed encyclopedias at him.

Kang had barricaded himself in the lunch room and was going through the office fridge when my boss and my supervisor found him, freaked and knocked him out cold with a chair, the coffee machine, and a stale donut.

Zelgadis, being the ever pain-in-the-arse chimera that he is, was waging war on the Acquisitions department. I would have hated to have to walk between the two factions since they were throwing large amounts of thumb tacks and paper clips at each other.

Who have I forgotten? Oh yes, Nightcrawler. He had taken refuge in the secretarys office, crouching behind the numerous shelves of office supplies and more backlogs of videos, CDs and books. Little did I know that I would later find out that he had 'borrowed' ten CDs and 'forgotten' that he had them.

So by the time I had finished the spell and returned to my Elven glory, the entire office was now a freakish warzone. The urge to cower in the stall was nearly overpowering. Oh well, I always was a sucker for punishment. The only comfort I could give myself was the knowledge that no one would recognise me in my natural form. Somehow that just wasn't enough....

Telling my psyche to shut the hell up, I stepped out of the stall and took a moment to revel in the absolute comfort of wearing jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt. My, but I do hate wearing formal clothing.

Knowing that I needed some sort of weapon, I opened one of my sub-portals and reached inside, rumaging through tons of junk before pulling out a Nerf bat. Can't go around killing coworkers, now can I?

Holding the precious Nerf bat to my chest, I warily exited the bathroom, glancing first right, then left before stepping out into the hallway.....

....just to get trampled by Malcho and a group of screaming women waving dictionaries.

"Ow...." As soon as I managed to peel myself off the carpeted floor, I was forced to throw myself aside to avoid the next group of people, mainly my Bonded and the tribe that's after him. Oy... Brandishing my bat, I lept into the fray with a screech of anger that was bound to draw attention away from the Digimon.... either that or deafen people. Whatever happens first.

So after managing to knock two women aside, I grabbed his wrist and yanked him after me as I bolted down the hallway, heading for the Holdings Room with the knowledge that it was the only room that locked like a safe. Of course, that was when I found out that Duncan and Wolverine were in there and were being asses at the moment.

I would have ripped the door open had I the time. Instead, I settled for shoving my Bonded into the room that held my meager cubicle and closing the door with strict orders to him not to open the door unless he knew that it was me.

One down, eight to go.

Finding Malcho was easy, it would have been hard to miss a twenty-five foot long snake that was sobbing for mercy as he cringed under the barrage of the Hardcover Book Rain of Death. Oh dear, those bruises must hurt....

"Get away from my Quetzacoatl!!" My yell makes my coworkers pause, giving me the opportunity to smack their leader over the head with my Nerf bat. "Back off or suffer my wrath!!"

"What....who are you?"

What IS her name and why can I never remember it!? "I'm Lashana. This here is Malcho. And if you keep hurting him like that I'm going to have to fireball you."

An then one of them asked the stupidest question ever.

"What's a fireball?"

Now honestly. I couldn't pass up an opening like that! "This. FIREBALL!!"

I sensed rather than saw Malcho uncoil himself out of that tight ball he had been in as I watched everyone run for their lives. "You okay?"

"I have been better, muchacha," he sighed as he plaintively rested his head against my left shoulder, hissing in pain moments later.

Frowning in worry, I turned to face him and wove a quick Healing spell on him, hugging him afterwards. "C'mon, you can hide out with Blacky."

"I'm not going out there, amiga! They were chanting something about snakeskin boots!"

"They try, they die," I assured him as I grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled, forcing him to either follow me or gain a bald-spot. He chose to follow. Smart snake.

So after having led/dragged the poor snake to the only safe haven I had come up with - as well as beating people aside with my Nerf bat in the process - I set out to find the rest of the morons. Can't be that hard, there's only seven left.... well.... five since Wolvie and Duncan are in the Holdings Room.

Finding Kang wasn't as hard as I had imagined. It's easy to find a seven foot tall Bozak draconian that's out cold on top of the Lunch Room table. Waking him turned out to be beyond my powers, so I simply grabbed his ankle and started dragging him along behind me as I searched for the others.

I found Kenshin quietly sobbing in a corner, his hair a knarled mess in the fax machine he was cradling on his lap. Of course it would have saved me so much trouble if he had simply let me trim his hair, but noooOOOooo, Goddess forbid that someone cut his hair. Yeesh.

It took twenty minutes for me to rip the fax machine apart piece by piece until he was free, then I commendeered him to drag Kang around behind me as I headed into the Acqusitions department. I really shouldn't have. I mean, Kenshin weighs, like, 100lb. Kang on the other hand.....

"L-Lashana-dono! He's too heavy!" the Samurai grunted as he tried unsuccessfully to drag/pull/push the draconian across the floor.

Sighing, I turned around and went back to help him, ignoring his startled look when I simply grabbed Kang's right ankle again and dragged him along. "Remind me to put him on a diet when we get Home, kay?"

"Yes, Lashana-dono."

Why couldn't all the Harem Guys be like this? Helpful, obediant, trustworthy, polite....what's so hard about that? But then again, I was talking about people who put barbeque sauce on caeser salad.

The sudden shock of pain in my left cheek yanked me out of my silent musings, and I dropped Kang roughly before raising a hand to my face, scowling when I saw blood on my fingers. Someone dies...

"Watchout!!"

"Wha--oof!" My new position of being pinned between a now snoring Kang and a horrendously heavy Zelgadis did not help my current mood. Nor did the hailstorm of tacks that flew our way. "What the hell is going on?!"

"Um....we're at war?" Zel offered, fairly leaping away when he saw my glare.

"New player," I said with a grin as I rose to my feet and aimed the bat in the direction that the oncoming projectiles were originating from. "DIEM WIND!"

Zel looked at me strangely as all the tacks and paper clips rebounded to hit their throwers. "That was cruel."

"Cope. And put down that stapler. I swear, you people are going to drive me completely daft."

"And we'd notice how, exactly?"

Mental note : glue Zel to Xellos when we get home. "Shut up, Zel." I grabbed Kang's ankle again and resumed dragging him along as I headed for the room that Blackwargreymon was hiding in, blinking at the sleepy grumble that originated from the draconian. "Well well, look who's awake."

"Wha...what happened?"

"That's what I'd like to know. I found you out cold on the Lunch Room table," I told him as I hauled him over to the door and pounded on it. "BLACKY!!"

Never saw a door open that quickly in my life.

"What's wrong?" My always Overprotective Bonded growled.

"Nuthin'. Brought you a few new roommates," I smiled as I practicly threw Kang over the threshold, then shoved Zel and Kenshin inside. "I just have to find Mewtwo and Nightcrawler, then collect Wolverine and Duncan and we can leave."

Thus I slammed the door in his face and spun around to stalk into the only room I hadn't been in yet. "Hello? Yo! Anyone in here?" 'Subtle' has never been my middle name. Nor will it ever. It's more fun to just walk around screaming at people. Hehe. "Mewtwo? Kurt? Y'all in here?" Nuts. Figured that would have been too easy.

Bat raised, I turned and started down the hallway, passing a few women who knew better than to cross me, and another that asked if she could kill the snake. Her I smacked with the bat. She deserved it. It wasn't until I came across an open 'authorized personnel only' door that the fear hit me.

The words 'Internal Elevator to Building' jumped out at me as I stared at the partially un-hinged door, a cold weight settling in my stomch. If Mewtwo or Nightcrawler had used that elevator.... then that meant that they'd be upstairs.... in the People Services offices..... Oh Lords.....

Hesitantly, I stretched out a leg and kicked the door open, peering into the filthy room and the tiny elevator in the corner. That thing looks like it's a hundred years old! Aw geez.... I'm gonna get dirt on my sneakers.... Knowing that the horrors of Reality could very well cripple the missing Guys, I took a breath to fortify myself and stepped into the elevator, blinking at the controls for a moment before simply slamming a fist onto once of the more prominent buttons.

The thing shook, shrieked, something grinded, then it slowly started to rise. I was too busy praying to any Gods that were listening to pay attention to much of anything else. Like the screams. And the expolsion. And the smell. Is that burning white-out?!

I was still praying as the contraption grinded to a shakey halt, nearly knocking me off my feet before I reached out and grabbed a grimy handle. My hand came away covered in grease and grime. "Ewwww! Gross!" Luckily, as the doors opened, a People Services employee was available for me to clobber then wipe my hand clean on his shirt.

Once I had managed to find my skin under the layer of grime, I rose my gaze and stared into pure mayhem. There were employees running around everywhere, things being thrown, screams being screamed, and I think I saw someone's desk on fire.

All in all I figured that it was a good bet that the Guys were somewhere nearby.

"Ow! OW! Hey, dude that hurt! Get off! Ack! HELP!!"

I spun around at the sound of Nightcrawlers voice in time to see him vanish under three employees. Raising my bat, I lept into the fray, landing on a male employee's back and proceeding to beat him senseless with said bat. That's when I remembered that this was a Nerf bat and not my usual metal one.

I always was good at improvising though.

Dropping the bat into my sub-portal, I grabbed the closest thing that looked like it could do damage without killing. Mainly the Ottawa/Hull phone book. I was once told that hitting someone with a phone book was useful because it left no marks. I figured that it was time to see if that was true.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

Yep. It was. Hehe.

Nigthcrawler looked up at me from under an unconscious women and blinked. "Er...thanks."

I grinned. "No prob. Where's 'Two?"

He shrugged and teleported himself out from under the unconscious person. I paused in my questioning of him to cough and franticly wave my hand in front of my face to try to clear the air of brimstone smoke.

"I think he's pinned down somewhere over there," he told me once I was finished hacking.

'Somewhere over there' turned out to be a large office. Said large office was currently being mobbed by twenty workers. Said workers were trying to break down the door. I think I saw Mewtwo's silhouette through the blinds. Craaaap.

Well, desperate times called for desperate measures. And since my phone book didn't look like it could stop a mob, times were desperate. I settled for hauling one of the roller-wheeled office chairs out of it's cubicle and pushing it ahead of me, litterally plowing a road through the mob. I think I ran over the supervisor.

"'TWO! Open the door!" I yelled as I swung the chair back and forth in front of me to ward the recovering mob away. "Back! Back I say!"

I was still swinging that chair when Mewtwo opened the door and grabbed my arm, the shock of that making me lose my grip on the back of the chair, thus sending it flying across the room. "Oops."

~Get in here!~ He yanked me inside and slammed the door, leaning back against it as the workers started banging on it.

"Well. Isn't this a fine mess you've gotten yourself into?" I drawled as I moved to lean against the desk, folding my arms in front of myself as I did so. He glared. I glared right back. He winced. I bared my fangs in an insane grin. He looked away. I win! Yippe! "So? What have you got to say for yourself?"

~'Get me out of here' sounds good right about now,~ he said as someone slammed a desk into the door, using it as a battering ram.

"Why the hell are you asking me? You're the one who can teleport!"

~But I don't know this dimension! I could teleport myself and reappear in a wall.~

"Oh. Ow."

~That's putting it mildly.~

I sighed and looked around the office, hoping to find something that could be used as a weapon. Instead I found that whoever owned this office was a very, very boring person. That and whoever worked here needed to get out more. I was fairly certain that Roger Whittaker was out of the music loop.

Then the psychotic within me took hold.

Grinning like a madwoman, I grabbed the phone and called the nearest Pizza Pizza place, and ordered about thirty pizzas using the credit card that I innocently found in someones purse. Then I called a chinese food place, a mexican place, and I even went so low as to call Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Slut...er I mean Hut.

"Now we wait," I said to the baffled and slightly horrified Mewtwo (he had heard the totals of all my orders) as I threw myself down onto the chair and propped my feet up on the desk.

Exactly fourty five minutes later (they were late too. I wanted to go out there and demand free food) the five food laden delivery boys (none of whom were cute, I checked) arrived at the front doors.

Ever seen a mob that's presented with food? Ever seen the way a curious mob milling around outside reacts when someone leans out the window and yells out 'free food for the first twenty people'? Hehe. Can we say 'stampede?'

"Chaos, mayhem and destruction. My work here is done," I announced as Mewtwo and I walked out of the office and gazed at the mass of fighting people.

Cost of Pizza Pizza pizza's - $300

Cost of Chinese - $410

Cost of Mexican (that's the food, not an actual Mexican)- $200

Cost of Kentucky and Pizza Hut - $600

Watching an entire office filled with well dressed rich people go ga-ga over free food and stampede each other into the floorboards in order to get it? - Priceless. Especially since it wasn't my credit card. Hehe.

I actually pitied the delivery boys. They hadn't been prepared for this.

Luckily for me, mood swings are one of my specialties. "C'mon 'Two! Let's get out of here. Oh, but first!" I picked up my phone book and waded into the fray, smacking people out of my way until I had acquired two bags of chinese food, three pizzas, and a bag of tacos. I made my way back to Mewtwo in a hurry, trying to outrun the small group that was now after me.

Luckily, the Pokemon had the sense to know that I was currently getting myself into trouble. He had already rounded up a shocked Nightcrawler and shoved him into the elevator. I squeezed myself in among them and slammed the doors right in the face of a rabid-looking worker. "Down Jeeves."

I can't repeat what he grumbled in response. Well, I could but, well.... I just don't want to. Nyah nyah.

But of course, nothing hardly ever goes my way.

As the elevator grinded to an ear-bleeding screeching halt, the three of us staggered out into yet more chaos. Mainly the realization that my coworkers had seemingly broken into the safe-haven I had made for the others.

"Dammit all to hell," I snarled as I stomped out into the hallway, balancing my prizes on my left hand for a moment before handing them to Mewtwo. "Guard this. It's supper. You lose it, you go hungry. And don't steal any of it!"

That said/growled, I spun and led them towards the sounds of a fight. Or more accurately, the sounds of wild chanting. What in the worlds is going on?! I skidded to a stop moments later and simply stared.

There, in the middle of the loading space for the boxes of books was a group of my fellow coworkers dancing and screaming as they circled the gagged and hog-tied members of my Harem. Malcho was currently strung from the ceiling like a giant pinata. And I thought that working here was going to be boring.

The belief of 'when in doubt, join in' was useful, though I don't think the Guys appreciated seeing me cavorting with the enemy and suggesting ways to turn them into our personal Office Work-Slaves. They have no senses of humour what-so-ever.

Of course, no one noticed that while I was joining in on the dancing and chanting that I was secretly cutting at the ropes holding Malcho to the ceiling everttime I went past. It helped that I had swiped a letter opener from the office upstairs. And people say that stealing never leads to anything good. Ha.

Granted, I do admit that perhaps I should have thought my plan through a little more.

As the ropes holding Malcho gave way, the workers screamed and ran for the closest cubicles, peeking over the dividers as the now full-sized Quetzacoatl broke free and promptly crashed down onto the hog-tied Guys directly below him.

"Uh.... I meant to do that!" I chirped, hiding a cringe. "I wanted Malcho to have a soft landing!"

Many grumbles were heard from under the Quetzacoatl at my little comment, but I ignored them in lieu of pulling my Nerf bat out of the portal again and facing the returning horde. "Bad! Bad cataloguers! Go away! Sit! Stay!" I giggled. "Roll over! Play dead! Beg!"

The look Malcho gave me nearly made me start cackling, but I held back. Barely. I settled for bopping someone over the head with the Nerf bat when they tried to poke Malcho with a pen. "You hold them off, I'll untie the others."

"Hold them off?! Amiga! How do you expect me to do that?!"

"You're a giant snake, you idiot! Improvise!" I yelled as I knelt next to a struggling Kang and worked at the booktape around his wrists. "Dammit. I need a knife or something...."

"MMPFT!"

"What?!"

Kang rolled his eyes and twisted in what must have been a painful contortion to angle his snout so it was pointing towards his feet. I blinked and followed his gaze, grinning when I saw the dagger sheath attached to his belt. "Kewl." His eyes gained a slightly panicked look when I snatched at the extremely sharp dagger, but seemed to calm down when I sliced through the tape binding this hands and feet. "You're free! Next!"

As I worked at freeing Blackwargreymon, Kenshin and a grumbling Zelgadis, Kang was having fun with my Nerf bat and the running and screaming workers. It seemed that he took it personally when someone ambushed him and tied him up. Imagine that. Malcho was adding to the mindless chaos by hissing and baring his fangs to everyone and anyone who was unfortunate enough to get near me. I took it as a compliment.

By the time I had finished cutting everyone loose, Kang had Nerf beaten my supervisor and ten other people into submission, and it seemed that Malcho had frightened a few people into unconsciousness. I figured that, as all outings went, this one seemed rather tame.

So after I had litterally ripped the Holdings Room door open - oh look, another coworker just fainted - and collected Wolverine and Duncan, I was more than certain that it was high time that we left the workforce alone for the rest of the day.

But I had one more thing that I just had to do.

I headed over to Kang and took the Nerf bat away from him, ignoring his protests as I walked over to my boss - who was trying to sneak away - and casually came to a stop in front of her.

"You suck." I told her simply before whacking her over the head with the foam bat. That accomplished, I turned and looked at the gaping audience of Harem Guys. "Let's go home. And look! I got food!" I swear that some of them actually started drooling at that announcment. Oh well. A quick portal and a hop, skip and a jump and we were standing in the middle of my apartment. Well, Mewtwo and I were standing. The others were in a dogpile in the middle of the livingroom.

A frantic look through my spellbooks managed to let me shrink Malcho down to half his natural size before he could crush any of my plants, though by the time I had finished doing that, more than half the food had been eaten or was in the process of being eaten.

Oh well, luckily I had a backup plan.

Mainly the credit card I had stolen.

Hehe.

"Swiss Chalet anyone?"