Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ *~DiGiTaL iNsAnItY~* ❯ The Search for Star Trek!!!! ( Chapter 9 )

"The Search for Star Trek!!!!"

NARRATOR DAVIS: -
Hi all, wondering what I'm doing here ey? Well Rika got the sack cos she was too boring so Ken and I are narrating this one…
NARRATOR KEN: -
(*sigh*) I was forced into it…
NARRATOR DAVIS: -
Well in the last episode and the episodes the author missed cos she's lazy the Frontier kids had to face a rather perverted Icedevimon and Kouji had to face a rather randy Takuya, then they defeated Cherubimon Blah de blah…
NARRATOR KEN: -
(*Sigh*) Then they met the Royal Knights who blasted the kids off to the blue moon, so now they're stuck up there while the Royal Knights go and steal digicode for Lucemon… Hummmm… I wonder if Lucemon could use some help (*Face goes all sinister as he starts sniggering evilly to himself*)
NARRATOR DAVIS: -
Yo ken! Your freakin' me out dude!
NARRATOR KEN: -
SHUT YOUR FACE! Now get me ALL THE DIGICODE, SLAVE!!!!
NARRATOR DAVIS: -
But what in the hell do YOU need digicode for?
NARRATOR KEN: -
I'm evil! I don't have to have a reason! Whahahahahaha!
NARRATOR DAVIS: - O_o;; Erm… Back to the show…I guess…

Patamon is stood next to Kouichi who is unconscious.

PATAMON: - Hey! Wake up… wake up… (*Slaps Kouichi with his ear*) I SAID WAKE UP DAMNIT!

KOUICHI: - (*Murmuring as he stirs*) No mum I don't wanna go to engineering today, I wanna go to Astromectrics and make out with Seven of Nine…

With that a HUGE crafty smile appears on kouichi's face as he starts giggling to himself. Bokomon and neemon approach him.

BOKOMON - (*sighs*) Bloody hell! He's having that seven of Nine dream again! This kid is NOT right!

NEEMON - I dream of making out with a stick…

Everyone goes silent as both Patamon and Bokomon look at neemon who is now in a world of his own.

BOKOMON - Why am I constantly surrounded by idiots who can't keep their hormones under control?

PATAMON - Beats me!

BOKOMON - Oh well I know how to get Kouichi-han's attention…(*he walks up to kouichi and whispers in his ear*) Seven of Nine is really a very ugly man!

KOUICHI - (*Screaming and suddenly sitting up*) ARRRRRRGH! Seven of Nine is really an ugly man and… (*he looks down at Bokomon who is just smiling at him*)… how many times do I have to tell you Bokomon, quit messin' with my dreams!

BOKOMON - I am sorry but we need your help.

KOUICHI - Oh yeah! We were blasted too the blue moon, weren't we? Neato! (*Looks around*) Where's Kouji?

Bokomon points over to where the others are laying unconscious. Kouichi spots kouji and runs straight up to him.

KOUICHI - (*Being rather over dramatic*) OH MY GOD! KOUJI IS DEAD! (*Falls to his knees*) NOW I WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A BROTHER! NEVER KNOW THE JOYS OF HAVING A FAMILY THAT DOESN'T JUST CONSIST OF MY COLA ADDICTED MOTHER AND THAT LITTLE LEPRACHAN THAT TELLS ME TO BURN THINGS! WHY GOD WHY!!!!!! (*Starts to cry uncontrollably into his hands as Bokomon walks up behind him*)

BOKOMON - Er…he isn't dead…

KOUICHI - (*Stops crying*) He isn't?

BOKOMON - Nope…just hurt really really badly…

KOUICHI - (*smiles happily*) Oh well that's okay then! (*With that kouichi stands up and looks around, finally spotting the wall in front of him*) Well I best climb out of this thing and get help…

BOKOMON - (*As kouichi starts to climb*) Ack! Be careful Kouichi-Han!

KOUICHI - (*Panting*) Oh man! This would have been sooooooooooo much easier if I could turn into Velgmon but nooooooooooooo my spirits had to be purified…. Stupid light! (*Just then he feels some rock move under his hand*) Argh! Bugger!

And with that…he falls.

BOKOMON - (*Putting his hand to his face in disbelief*) Is there ANYTHING this guy DOESN'T fall off?

Kouichi lands on a rock but then soon finds himself being propelled through the air much to the surprise of the digimon.

KOUICHI - NEATO! I CAN FLYYYYY…

*BANG* He hits his head on a rock.

BOKOMON - Ooooh! That's gotta hurt….

KOUICHI - Stupid rock! I'd burn you but I don't have the time right now…

PYROMANIAC LEPRECHAN - (*That appears on Kouichi's shoulder holding a lighter*) Sure you have the time Kouichi, you always have the time to burn things…

KOUICHI - Get lost you little …. Thing!

With that the leprechaun disappears and Kouichi continues to jump gracefully up the wall until he reaches the top. He looks around then looks up at the digital world.

KOUICHI - Hummm…gots lotsa holes…

Just then he notices some light as a car being driven by some starmon comes over the horizon.

KOUICHI - All right! Help has come! (*Starts waving*) Yooooohoooo! Need help here my friends are all sleeping!

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A few minutes later everyone is in the car with the Starmon, they are taking care of the other children while Kouichi is sat with the digimon.

BOKOMON - There's one thing I don't QUITE understand…the others are hurt really badly yet Kouichi-Han comes out of this without a scratch on him…

KOUICHI - Hey you're right! (*He suddenly jumps up getting all excited*) ALL RIGHT! I'M INVINCIBLE! YAY! INVINCBLE KOUICHI! HA! (*Starts doing some strange funky kinda dancing fight moves*)

BOKOMON - And now I'm scared…

NEEMON - STICK!

PATAMON - (*Not looking pleased*) I so wanna jump off a cliff right now…

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In the Starmon's moon base…

…the starmon have put the other kids in some strange beds with buttons… Kouichi is just looking around amazed at everything…

KOUICHI - Neato! A sick bay! (*Picks up a strange device on the table*) Awww! WOW! Is this a medical tricorder?

STARMON - (*As he takes the device off Kouichi*) No! It's our TV remote control!

Starmon presses a button on it and it switches the TV on which was in the corner. He then turns back to Kouichi.

STARMON - You friends will be here for a while…go and have a look around…

KOUICHI - (*Still looking all excited*) YAY! I'm so off to find Astromectrics!

STARMON - (*As Kouichi runs off*) But we don't have an astro….

The starmon just trails off as kouichi vanishes through the door. Bokomon looks up at him with no emotion on his face.

BOKOMON - You will live to regret the day you say to kouichi "Have a look around" especially if it's SPACE RELATED!

STARMON - Gee! You don't need to shout!

NEEMON - STIIIIIIICK!!!!

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Soon enough Kouichi and the digimon had entered a room with a large telescope.

KOUICHI - Is this Astromectrics? (*He walks up to a big telescope where Supertarmon is standing*) Awwwwwwwww… (*pouts*) Your not Seven of Nine… your not even a borg…I'm gonna sulk now…

SUPERSTARMON - Well I can get a blonde wig and a tight costume if you want me too…

KOUICHI - (*Sat on the small steps…still sulking*) No, no, you just carry on staring though your huge telescope thingy… (*Suddenly his face lights up as he looks at SuperStarmon*) Do you have a Holodeck?

SUPERSTARMON - Nope…

KOUICHI - (*his face falling a bit*) Engerneering…

SUPERTSARMON - Not really

KOUICHI - (*Clasping his hands and looking desperate*) A bridge?

SUPERSTARMON - Yeah we have one of those… (*Kouichi's eyes light up but fall when Superstarmon points out an actual bridge outside the window*)

KOUICHI - (*Getting mad now*) Oh THAT is it!!!!

A few seconds later…………

*BOOM*

The whole room blows up

**************************

An hour later….

TAKUYA - (*To Kouichi, not sounding pleased*) You BLEW UP their Science lab!?!

KOUICHI - (*trying to look innocent*) Well…erm… kinda… but I had a good reason too… they didn't have anything Star trek related…

Everyone else groans.

KOUJI - Kouichi you can't blow up everything that isn't Star Trek related…

KOUICHI - Why not? I did it to our mum's last three boyfriends… they liked star Wars (*Makes a funny face at the mention of "Star Wars"*)

KOUJI - Oh for the love of….

TAKUYA - (*Still rather angry*) Kouji! Keep your nice sexy ass out of this will ya! This is between me and fire boy here….

KOUJI - Have you forgotten he's MY twin brother?

TAKUYA - (*Pauses for a long time before answering*) …yes…

TOMOKI - (*Who is stood at the window*) Erm…am I the ONLY one who is noticing that the Digital World is depleting…

JUNPEI - Depleting? Where's you learn a world like that?

TOMOKI - Oh being hit over the head in pretty much every episode has it's advantages…I learn new things… but I tend to forget old things…erm…who am I again?

TAKUYA - Awwww…. You're so sweet!

TOMOKI - (*Looking worried*) No really! I'm serious! Who am I…I really don't know….

Everyone laughs and Tomoki just sighs.

TAKUYA - Okay we need to think up a way to get back to the digital world… any ideas?

KOUICHI - Oh! Oh! How about we build a lifesize replica of the Star ship enterprise…I naturally will be the captain and I will be having an affair with a stick behind Riker's back….

NEEMON - THE STICK IS MINE!!!!

PATAMON - I'm not thinking up ANY ideas cos I all want to see you squirm and die here…

BOKOMON - You'll squirm and die here too

PATAMON - (*sighs*) That's the whole idea I'm gonna go listen to Staind or something now… (*Wonders off*)

TAKUYA - Wait I have the PERFECT idea!

******************************************

Some time later…outside….

GARMMON - Okay we're all in our digimon forms now what….?

AGNIMON - Actually this is as far as my plan went

FAIRYMON - And us being in our Digimon Forms will help us get to the Digital World how?

AGNIMON - (*shrugs*) I dunno…thought we could hitchhike or something…

GARMMON - Who in the bloody hell is gonna be crazy enough to stop and give us a lift…

BOLGMON - Who knows…

They wait for about half a minute…

LOWEMON - I'm bored now…I'm gonna go and find me some moon babes…

Everyone else walks off.

AGNIMON - Awwwwwwwww… man come on! This would of worked…give it a chance!

****************************************

BOLGMON - (*While drawing random calculations in the sand*) based on kouichi's idea to build a spaceship…I thought we should do that…

LOWEMON - Cool! Life size replica of the Star Ship Enterprise here we come!

BOLGMON - Er… no… it's just gonna be a spaceship… nothing more…

LOWEMON - (*Sulks*) But the Enterprise IS a spaceship…

BOLGMON - (*To the others*) Okay so I'm gonna give you all little jobs so we can build this thing and together we will….

LOWEMON - (*Who had wondered off*) Found one!

BOLGMON - Wha?

*****************************

CHAKMON - (*Looking at the spaceship*) WOW! Coolie I wonder who it belongs too….

AGNIMON - Who cares! Lets steal it!

GARMMON - We can't steal it! It's not right…

AGNIMON - (*winking at Garmmon*) I'll let you drive some of the way…

GARMMON - (*After a long silence*) I'll go make sure no one is coming….

****************************

The ship is soon in a slingshot and is fired out into space.

TOMOKI - Hey! Wait! Wasn't there supposed to be some Burgermon and some…ice…rock…Gotsumon…thingys…whatever they were called in this story too?

KOUJI - Yeah… but the author is lazy so she didn't put them in…

****************************

Meanwhile back on the blue moon….

BURGERMON - (*Stood alone at his stall*) Burger's! Burger's for sale! (*Pauses as a digital tumbleweed rolls past*) I'm so alone… and I can't feed my 27 children if no one buys my Burgers….

BURGERMON CHILD - How about giving us a burger daddy (*Reaches out to get one but the Burgermon slaps his hand*)

BURGERMON - Hands off the merchandise you little brat! (*The Burgermon Child runs away crying as he sighs*) Oh if only the author was true to the real storyline…

AUTHOR - So sue me it's late and I have to get up early in the morning thus I'm rushing this while adding random crap!

BURGERMON - (*Not looking pleased*) I can tell…

********************************

Back on the spaceship….

KOUICHI - (*Standing up*) I name this ship the "Starship Kouichiprise"

KOUJI - (*Grabbing his brother*) Sit down you freak!

KOUICHI - (*Sulks*) I'm not a freak…. You are, what with your stupid hair and stupid bandana and that stupid…erm…erm…jacket…

Suddenly there is a flash of light and the ships starts to shake.

TAKUYA - Erm… we've entered some sort of spaceial anomaly

KOUICHI - ARGH! WORMHOLE!!!

TAKUYA - It's not a wormhole Kouichi!

KOUICHI - Yeah it is…look… (*Points out a window as a sign floats past reading "I am a Wormhole"*)

TAKUYA - (*Not looking pleased*) Stupid star Trek….

IZUMI - We need to get out of here now!!!!

KOUICHI - USE THE WARP ENGINES DAMNIT!

TAKUYA - THERE ARE NO WARP ENGINES!!!!!

Suddenly a strange Cube like ship stops in front of them….

BORG - We are the Borg! Resistance is Futile!

TAKUYA - What the…!?!

KOUICHI - Oh YAY! We're gonna get assimilated by the Borg! I'm sooooooooo happy!

TAKUYA - Not on my watch we ain't… (*gets out his digivice*) SPIRIT EVOLUTION….

VRITARAMON - …VRITARAMON!

KOUICHI - (*grabbing hold of Vritramon's leg as he tries to get out of the ship*) Noooooooooooooo! Please!!! I want to be assimilated! PLEEEEASE!!!!!

IZUMI - Ack! That's it! (*Whacks Kouichi over the head with a frying pan*)

KOUICHI - Ow! Damnit! That HURT!

IZUMI - Why isn't he unconscious (*Continues to whack him over the head*)

JUNEPI - I can use my chocolate if that will help….

KOUJI - I'll use my shoe!

All three start whacking Kouichi over the head.

KOUICHI - (*Lets go of vritramon to shield himself*) Ow! Ow! Ow! Hey junpei that Chocolate has nuts in it no fair! Ow! Ow! OW!

With Kouichi distracted vritramon goes outside to face the Borg.

VRITARAMON - Hahahahaha! No Cyber machine freaks can beat me! Prepare to face my…

BORG - (*All of a sudden*) ARRRRRRRGH! (*They start up their cube and run away like sissy's.*)

VRITARAMON - (*Looks confused*) Am I really that scary?

Vritramon then turns around to see patamon in the window of the spaceship holding up a sign reading. "ASSIMILATE US AND YOU BECOME SPARE PARTS TO TAKUYA'S HENTAI COMPUTER"

VRITARAMON - (*Looks even more confused*) I don't have a hentai computer…

Patamon pulls an "Oh!" type face then scribbles on another wooden sign with a black pen and holds it up "MUST BE JUNPEI'S THEN"

JUNPEI - (*Blushing*) Damnit Patamon!

Slams his fist into the little flying pigs head.

PATAMON - Yes! That's it! Kill me!

JUNPEI - I don't think so rat! Your gonna live your life out as a flying pig….

PATAMON - (*Getting angry*) Why won't anybody KILL ME!

IZUMI - Cos your too wonderfully kawaii!!!

Izumi proceeds to grab Patamon and give him a tight bear hug almost chocking him.

PATAMON - (*Sigh*) Not a bad way to go I guess….

A few minutes later Takuya is back at the controls of the spaceship….

KOUJI - hey you said you'd let me drive for a while…

TAKUYA - Not now Kouji! We've got a digital World to save! Yeeeeha!

KOUJI - (*Its back in this chair, crosses his arms and pouts*) I'm SO not talking to you now!

Suddenly the ship starts spinning as the kids scream then they stop suddenly and the gravity is turned off…somehow…

KOUJI - (*Floating upwards still with his arms crossed*) Well THIS is entertaining!

KOUICHI - Wheeeeeeee! Fun! I'm flyi… (*Hits his head on the ceiling of the ship*) Damn it!

IZUMI - So what now…?

TAKUYA - Guess we could try hitchhiking again.

EVERYONE ELSE - NO!

Suddenly the ship shakes and they find themselves on a trailmon track where that pink trailmon is banging into them.

LITTLE PINK TRAILMON - Damnit! There's always something on the line when I'm on duty! Get outta my way NOW!

TAKUYA - (*As it bangs into him again*) ARGH! Stop doing that!

KOUJI - (*Flipping through the script*) Well according to this script the trailmon should realize we're in trouble and nicely help us down the track…

JUNPEI - (*As the trailmon hits them again*) Er…he's sure taking his sweet time in helping us!

KOUICHI - (*With a huge smile on his face*) RED ALERT! RED ALERT!

Kouji hits him over the head with his script as the trailmon once again slams into them, but this time they derail and fall to their impending doom!!!!

TAKUYA - Wait! Wait! We're in space… how can we fall… there's no gravity, remember!

AUTHOR - (*Suddenly appearing from nowhere*) Well this IS a fanfic…. The rules of space…or the rules of anything don't apply here…

JUNPEI - (*Nodding his head in agreement*) True! True!

AUTHOR - Enjoy your trip! (*Disappears*)

EVERYONE - (*Screams as they plummet to the digital world*) ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

************************************

NEXT EPISODE:

TAKUYA: - Oh my God! Look over there!

KOUJI - Where? I don't see anything…. Oh wait I see some freaky looking freak kids….

KOUICHI - And they've enslaved an Angemon! Neato!

TOMOKI - Argh! Fudgesticks, two of them bully me…I don't wanna be in this episode….

IZUMI - Well I can fix that (*Whacks Tomoki over the head…but tomoki doesn't fall unconscious*) Oh man I'm really having an off day today….

TAKUYA - Chicken boy! (*Starts making Chicken noises*)

JUNPEI - What was that all about?

TAKUYA - Dunno just felt like shouting it out!

KOUJI - Damn randomness….

TAKUYA - Anyway the next episode is "The brat freak children who have enslaved Angemon!" Enjoy! I'm off to scratch around for corn…

EVERYONE ELSE - Huh!?! O_o;;

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Wondering what I was on? Mostly tiredness and too much sugar as usual… yeah I know the randomness wasn't really funny but I promise the next episode will be better…. FREAK KIDS!!!!!