Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ *~Digital Insanity: RELOADED~* ❯ Going to the Digital World!? Search for the Spirits made of Alcohol! ( Chapter 1 )

DISCLAIMER: Don't own digimon… I just own the characters Minds! Whahahahaha! WAHAHAHAHAHA! Wha…..oookay I don't own them either….

AUTHOR'S NOTES: - Y'know I really enjoyed writing my various Digimon Frontier parodies that I thought to myself "Why not be crazy and try and parody the WHOLE season" so that's what I'm trying to do XD Yeah I'm insane but it gives me something to do. So I hope you all enjoy it! XD

*~DIGITAL: INSANITY~*

R E L O A D E D

NARRATOR: - This is the Digital World…and a lot of bad stuff happened to it…like the time I accidentally deleted it…hehehe ^_^;;

FIRE!! - Badly sung by a midget in a bikini
MIDGET: -
"This is a little song, `bout how I like to set things on fire!!
It's Psychological!
And I can't help it!
Just get the lighter and fuel, set it alight and watch it burn!
Psycho that's me, and that's my Front ear!
Burn it now! Burn it Good!
And make me real proud now!
Flames are going! Going Good!
This is a real good Bonfire!
BURN IT AND RUUUUUUN!
Pyromania! It is fun! Just burn that Trash Caaaan!
Laugh like you're insane!
You have the Fire Power!!!
Just Burn it! Burn everything! With no Mercy!!!
Cackle now with madness!
You have the firepower!
The Fire Power!
My front ear yeah!
I should go back to…
…the mental hospital, yeah!

(*This fic is in no contains subliminal messages trying to make people burn things…. Burn now…. So any fires that follow the reading of this fanfic is pure coincidental… burn it goooood…. Thankyou for reading ^_^*)

Episode One: - Going to the Digital World!? Search for the Spirits made of Alcohol!

We begin with a boy running down the street with a phone in his hand…

TAKUYA: - Why won't my flippin' destiny leave me alone….

As he does he passes a man and his son passing a football to each other.

MAN: - "Wanna get a McDonalds after this son?"

BOY: - "YEAH!!!! Me like Ronald Macdonald, he does funny things on the Internet!"

MAN: - O_o;;

Then the mans phone rings so he answers it as he watches Takuya run by.

MAN: - "Hello? (*Pauses*) "YES YES! I know he was supposed to be back to you at 4 but you NEVER let me see him...(*pauses*) ...well sue my ass I don't care..."

Suddenly the man watches the football roll past him and past takuya. Takuya catches up with it and it stops in the middle of the road.

TAKUYA: - (*Playing with the football*) "I'm the greatest! I'm the best! I have a stick for a wife! I'm DAVID BECKHAM YEAH!!!!!"

Just then the truck comes down the road and Takuya just stands there watching it.

TAKUYA -
Oh damn! This was my destiny!?! To get hit by a flippin truck! Oh that's just great…. Well this seems like a good time for a flashback! *Grins*

*Flashbacks*

*Ring Ring*

TAKUYA'S MOTHER - (*speaking into phone*)Wha! He's gonna be late!?! Well that husband of mine BETTER hurry up home or I'll pack up the kids and move to Spain!

SHINYA - Tell him I'll disown him if he doesn't bring lots of presents for my birthday!

TAKUYA - (* as the phone rings*) Ack! This thing is making noises! (*Text pops up on screen*) Huh? Do you want to start the game...yes or no? Hummm...yeah why not!

OPHANIMON - (*in phone*) Whahahahahaha! You've now become my bitch Takuya Kanbara!

TAKUYA - Wha? How do you know my name? And what exactly do you mean by bitch?

OPHANIMON: - I mean exactly what it sounds like idiot now get your bitch ass moving to these coordinates to go towards your destiny…
…Bitch!

TAKUYA: - Okay! Okay! Sheesh… something tells me I'm having one of those Psychotic episodes again *sighs* Okay lets see here…Get the train to Shibuya at 5:45pm…But why the hell would I wanna go there? (*Looks at the clock and sees he has about 8 minutes to get there*) WHA!?! Are you CRAZY Woman how in the world am I gonna get from there to the Train Station in THAT TIME!

OPHANIMON: - Personally I'm not the one who's crazy, after all you ARE the one talking to a phone right now…

TAKUYA: - *sighs* Guess your right…Ah well I'll go…might be fun, better than staying around here and watching my mother kick my dad's ass when he comes home drunk….again -_-;; *Grabs his cap* Okay lets GOOOO!

TAKUYA'S MOTHER: - (*As Takuya runs towards the door*) And WHERE Do you think you're going at THIS time Mister!

TAKUYA: - (*As he runs out of the door*) Sorry can't stop to chat, the phone is telling me to go places! Be back soon!

TAKUYA'S MOTHER: - Huh? (*Turns back to the phone*) What? WELL HE BEST NOT BE AT THE BAR THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING JERK ASS!

*Flashback Ends*

TAKUYA: - This Phone better not be trying to kill me! ARGH! *Jumps out of the way of the truck as it screeches to a halt, Takuya looks up* Huh? It missed me…

OPHANIMON: - Damn! Er…I mean…good…real good…yeah…. *sighs*

TRUCK MAN: - (*As he peers out from his door*) Yo Sorry kid I was chattin' on me mobile phone, didn't see ya!

TAKUYA: - Isn't that Illegal?

TRUCK MAN: - (*Looking nervous*) What? The chickens I have in the back who are all hiding various drugs in their eggs which I plan to smuggle to various countries and make a huge profit of drug money so I can buy sporty cars and a mansion? No….er… that's not Illegal…

TAKUYA: -_-;; I meant the phone…

TRUCK MAN: - Oh…the phone… erm…yeah…okay erm… bye! (*Runs off screaming down the road*)

TAKUYA: - O_o;; Some people…Hummm what's the time anyway…

OPHANIMON: - Time you got a watch, bitch!

TAKUYA: - *Whines* Quit calling me that! *Looks around and spots a clock* It's…ARGH! 5:42!?! I'll never make it! I'll never make it! *To the phone* You're trying to kill me aren't you!?!

OPHANIMON: Well…no….although it would be fun if it happened…

TAKUYA: - ARGH! Shut up! *Runs off*

Takuya soon arrives at the station as the train is pulling in.

TAKUYA: - ARGH! NO! The train is pulling in already!!!

OPHANIMON: - The author just told us all that dumbass…

TAKUYA: - *Quickly runs to the ticket machine* Hurry! Hurry! *Puts his hands in his pockets* Wha? What? OH! NO! I have no Money! Dad must have stolen it to go gambling again! ACK!

With that takuya slams his head against the ticket machine.

TICKET MACHINE: - OW! Hey watch it kid that flippin' well hurts ya know…

TAKUYA: - O_O Er…okay now the ticket machine is talking to me…

OPHANIMON: - Okay well, that ones nothing to do with me so there's ya Psychotic episode…

TAKUYA: - *mumbles* -_-;; This whole episode seems Psychotic already anyway… *shrugs* Ah well… *To the Ticket machine* Mr. Ticket Machine, could you please give me a ticket so I can get on the train, pwetty please with sugar fairies on top, with chocolate and other sweet sweet things…

TICKET MACHINE: - ARGH! Quit talking about sugary things, I'm on a diet! Here take the ticket and get out of here *Gives him a Ticket*

TAKUYA: - Eeee! Thankyou!!!!! *runs off* Hold the train! I'm coming! I'm comingggggggg!!!

On the train:

TAKUYA: - *Sighs and sits down - to his phone* Damn! It was lucky the train left late cos of that Cow on the line…wonder what a cow was doing there anyway… ah well… *Suddenly notices a LOT of people are staring at him*

RANDOM PERSON: - *Whispers* Is that kid talking to his phone?

RANDOM PERSON 2: - *Whispers back* Who cares? You were just talking to your shoe!

RANDOM PERSON: - But my shoe likes it when I talk to it…. -_-;; *Strokes his shoe* My pwetty shoe….

Takuya just shakes his head then notices that a lot of phones are going off, that is when he looks up and sees HIM…KOUJI!

TAKUYA: - O_O I've never seen anything so beautiful in all my life…well…except that time I saw a cloud shaped like a block of cheese…now that WAS beautiful… *Kouji brings his phone out and looks back at Takuya, Takuyas phone then rings bringing his attention away from the dark haired wonder…* THIS better be good PHONE, I was gonna score! *Reads the text message* Huh? Transfer to the subway at Shibuya station at 6pm… *looks up* At 6pm? (*Looks at a mans watch to see that it's 5:54PM - standing up and shouting at the top of his voice*) ARGH!!! THIS PHONE IS TRYING TO KILL MEEE!!!!

The train arrives and Takuya gets off and looks around.

TAKUYA: -
So where is this Subway thingy? (*As he wonders he sees Kouji past by in slow motion who then disappears into the crowd*) Damn! He's pretty fine!

Takuya runs and eventually sees kouji getting into a lift.

TAKUYA: -
He's not getting away!

Takuya screams and runs towards the lift before making a death defying leap between the doors just as they close landing with a thump on the floor.

TAKUYA: - Owie! I got a boo-boo… (*looks up to see Kouji staring down at him*) …er…I mean…nothing like a nice manly bruise on my face ^_^;; So erm…do you have a talking phone too?

KOUJI: - (*Turns away*) Humph!

TAKUYA: - (*Looking Mad*) Hey! Why'd you do that! I'm talking here…. Oh wait…do I smell…I smell right…don't I… ARGH! DIRT WON'T COME OFF!!! O_o;;

Kouji just rolls his eyes before the speed of the lift picks up.

TAKUYA: - Wha? Should it be doing this!?! *Looks out of the window and sees how fast they're going* ARGH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!

The lift stops with a bang on the floor and the doors open to reveal an unscaved Kouji and Takuya rubbing his head.

TAKUYA - (*still rubbing his head*) Owie! Owie! That's gonna bruise tomorrow! (*He then looks up to see the amount of people on the platform with a bunch of multicoloured trains*) Do ALL these people have talking phones? O_o;; And I thought I was special *sulks*

OPHANIMON: - Okay Bitch time to make ya final choice, will you stay? Or run away like a big chicken baby?

TAKUYA: - I am NOT a Chicken baby, course I'll stay! HA! Take that PHONE!

OPHANIMON: *sighs* Whatever…your funeral…

TAKUYA: - Funeral…wh…what…er…well…now I'm not so sure about this…

With that Kouji just runs off. Takuya watches him leave then just stands there.

TAKUYA: - Huh? *blinks*

Everyone gets on the train then the trains move off, Takuya runs after one and grabs it. As he gets on the train he sees Kouji on the one opposite and they stare each other down.

TAKUYA: - Damn! He's one sexy piece of….

Then the tunnel cuts off his view…

TAKUYA: - Argh…. Nuts…

After a while Takuya walks into the train carriages and eventually bumps into three other kids. The chubby one is weightlifting with choclate, the small boy is sulking, and the girl is trying to play games on her phone.

OPHANIMON: - Quit touching me like that girl…it's disturbing…

IZUMI: - What? O_o;; All I'm trying to do is play snake…

TAKUYA: - Ah, you guys have the funky talking version of these phones too!

IZUMI: - I preferred mine when it didn't talk…

OPHANIMON: - And I prefer it when you don't play snake with my buttons

JUNPEI: - (*Giggles*) Buttons… hehehehe….

IZUMI: - I REALLY don't wanna know what he's thinking about -_-;;

TAKUYA: - Okay well lets start the friendly way then…. Who the HELL are you guys!?! Where are we going!?! Why is there a sandwich stuck to my ass!?! *Pulls a sandwich off his butt* I WANNA KNOW!

JUNPEI: - Well I have NO idea on any of those questions…but…if ya not eating that sandwich *drools* Anyway what made you come?

TAKUYA: - The phone told me too… and kept calling me a bitch…

IZUMI: - Mine too

JUNPEI: - Eeee! I came to meet a pretty girl like you, I'm Junpei and I can eat a thousand candy bars in 30 seconds!

TAKUYA: - Pah! Reah right… *Looks at Junpei again*…but…er…then again…

IZUMI: - *Giggles* I'm Izumi, and I'm not interested…

JUNPEI: -_-;; Awwwww…. Damnit…

TAKUYA: - I'm Takuya and I'm glad I'm not having a psychotic episode… but….then again maybe I am and you're all figments of my imagination… *Turns to the quiet boy* And you are…?

TOMOKI: - Tomoki… I was forced to come on this train *Looks up with tears in his eyes* I WANNA GO HOOOOOME!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

TAKUYA: - What the…? Geez kid, take a chill pill! *Throws a red pill down Tomoki's throat and he instantly becomes quiet* There that'll shut him up for a while…

IZUMI: - Are those legal…

TAKUYA: - Er…If anybody asks they're to keep us all inside the matrix…

IZUMI: - Like anybody would fall for that!

TAKUYA: - Well when the cops caught me with them last month it worked…er…but then I was put on lots of pills that made me sleepy… ^____^ Wheeeee!

JUNPEI: - So are you SURE you're not having a psychotic episode…?

Suddenly they hear a howling voice and then the train hits some turbulence on the tracks throwing the kids to the floor. Then they're phones start to glow and turn into weird multicoloured devices.

TAKUYA: - What the hell is going on here!?!

OPHANIMON: - This is your digivice, BITCH! I talk to you through it so you'd BETTER get used to having me around! Whahahahaha!

TAKUYA: - (*rolls his eyes*) Greeeat…

OPHANIMON: - Welcome to the Digital World BITCHES!!!!

JUNPEI: - The…what now?

Suddenly they hit daylight and they see little chibi ghosts flying past the window.

IZUMI: - What are THEY? Birds? Planes? Strange things that'll feast on our brains until we DIE!

JUNPEI: - The third guess sounds like fun!

TAKUYA: - (*Looking out of the window*) This is…the Digital World? Where the freakin' hell is the Digital World anyways…!?! O_o;;

JUNPEI: - Somewhere digital is my guess…

IZUMI: - (*Sarcastically*) Oh he's a genius….

The train pulls into the station and as the doors open they're greeted by little grey things with floppy ears.

PAGUMON: - Eee! I wants to eat them!

PAGUMON 2: - Yes we must eat them all!

TAKUYA: - Eee! O_o;; They're freaky!

Then some steams blows them out of the carriage and into the middle of the cannibal pagumon.

TRAILMON: - You have to leave my carriage sometime ya know, I'm a very busy `mon…

TAKUYA: - Oh great! Now the train is talking… why is everything talking today?

TRAILMON: - Idiot I'm not a train, I'm a TRAILMON! Idiot child!

Suddenly the Pagumon close in on them.

PAGUMON: - You must come for our feast!

PAGUMON 2: - Our feast is you! We must eat the humans!

JUNPEI: - ARGH! Somebody make them go away!

TAKUYA: - Er…back! Back I say…

IZUMI: - That'll help…

TAKUYA: - Well if YOU have any better ideas to get rid of little grey ball cannibals I'd LOVE to hear it!

IZUMI: - Humph!

TOMOKI: - (*Crying*) Whaaaaa! I'm too young to be eaten!!! Whaaaaa!!!

TAKUYA: - Oh this is JUST great -_-;;

TRAILMON: - (*As it pulls out of the station*) If you all wanna go home you have to find the spirits first!

TAKUYA: - Spirits? Where are they? Are they Alcoholic? If so, can we drink them?

JUNPEI: - Please say they're covered with chocolate!

TOMOKI: - ARRRGGGHHH!!! I WANNA GO HOME NOW! I DON'T WANNA SEARCH FOR CHOCOLATE COVERED ALCHOHOL DRINKS!!! WHAAAAAA!!! (*Runs off*)

TAKUYA: - HEY! Come back! (*Runs off after him*)

JUNPEI: - (*With Stars in his eyes*) Hummm…Chocolate covered Alcohol drinks….

Tomoki walks out onto the train line suspended in mid air, still crying.

TAKUYA: - ARGH! You'll fall! *Under his breath* Not that it would be a bad thing…

TOMOKI: - I HEARD THAT! Maybe I'll just FALL and DIE and You'll NEVER see me AGAIN! WHAAAAAAAA!

TAKUYA: - ARGH! Stop being a drama Queen! I'll get you back home we just have to find these alcohol spirits first!

TOMOKI: - Really? Promise?

TAKUYA: - promise…

TOMOKI: - Okay then! Ugh! I'm kinda up high… ARGH! (*Falls down and grabs the track with his arms and legs*) I'M GONNA FAAAALLLL!!!

TAKUYA: - (*sighs*) I'll come and get you….bah…kids!

He's about to go out and save Tomoki when a large explosion and green fire distracts him, then two figures come out from the fire and jump on him sending him falling to the ground.

TAKUYA: - ARGH! I'm being mobbed by an elf and a rabbit! HELP! HELP!

BOKOMON: - Ooooh! A Human! In fact, it's a Human child, that's what it is.

TAKUYA: - Er… okay strange things, please just don't hurt me and I'll save you from whatever you're running from…

BOKOMON: - Oh yeah, I forgot that we were in mortal peril ^_^;;

NEEMON: - For….got…

All three then look up at the fire as a mad looking three headed demon dog comes out of the green flames.

TAKUYA: - ARGH! YOU WANT SAVING FROM THAT! -_-;; I had to open my big mouth….

CERUBERUMON: - Give me the spirits!

TAKUYA: - The Spirits?

BOKOMON: - (*Hiding behind Takuya*) We don't know where they are now, please go away….

TAKUYA: - Hummm… can I ask a question? Are these Spirits Alcoholic?

BOKOMON - (*Whacks takuya over the head*) NO THEY ARE NOT!

TAKUYA: - They aren't? (*Sulks*) Awwwww….

CERUBERUMON: - Come on! GIVE ME THE SPIRITS!!!

TAKUYA: - Why do you still want them? They're not alcoholic!

CERUBERUMON: - Look kid, gimmie a break, I'm trying to be EVIL here, therefore you should cower at the sight of me!

TAKUYA: - But I wanted to get drunk…

CERUBERUMON: - FINE! If you won't give me the spirits, I'll FORCE YOU TO! (*Shoots green flames from his mouth forcing takuya onto the train track where Tomoki is then they scream as it collapses and they fall to the ground*)

TAKUYA: - Oh…that wasn't as big of a drop as I first thought… (*His digivice glows then shoots a beam into some flames, which makes them go all blue*) Wha? When is crazy stuff gonna stop happening today -_-;; This better not be some strange portal to another crazy damn world… but what could be worse than this place where you get mugged by strange creatures and have to search for alcohol…

BOKOMON: - (*Whacks him over the head again*) They are NOT alcoholic!!!

TAKUYA: - Yeah that's what YOU say!

Suddenly something appears in the blue…thing…

TAKUYA: - ARGH! MONSTER!

BOKOMON: - NO! It's a Spirit!

TAKUYA: - But that's not Alchohol!

BOKOMON: - Well DUH Braniac… Now go Get the Spirit!

CERUBERUMON: - I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!! (*Charges towards them*)

TAKUYA: - Eeep! (*Grabbing a metal pole*) I'm not letting you get it! (*Ceruberumon grabs the pole in his mouth*) Whatever Alcohol in there is MINE!

BOKOMON: - (*sighs*)

Suddenly ceruberumon leaps into the blue thing with takuya holding onto his tail. The doggy approaches the Spirit but then realizes he's on fire so jumps out.

CERUBERUMON: - Ouchie! Ouchie! Stop drop and roll! STOP DROP AND ROLL!!!

Back in the blue thingy:

TAKUYA: - Huh? Why am I not burning to death? *looks up at the spirit* This is…the spirit? (*Shouts*) GIMMIE YOUR ALCHOHOL!!!!!!! Er I mean… SPIRIT!!!

Then his digivice magically flies into his hands…wheeeeee! And he gets his Spirit…fun, fun!

TAKUYA: - But no alcohol -_-;; Oh well SPIRIT EVOLUTION…AGNIMON!

AGNIMON: - Wha!?! I've changed into some strange…fire beast man….cool… this is better than being drunk ^___^

BOKOMON: - He turned into Agnimon, the fiery hot legendary warrior of…erm…fire…

NEEMON: - Is he hotter than me…?

BOKOMON: - (*pauses*)….yes….

CERUBERUMON: - Argh! I'm screwed!

AGNIMON: - Whahahaha! You cannot defeat me! For now I am all-powerful!

CERUBERUMON: - Hole…

AGNIMON: - Huh? (*Realizes there's a whole beneath him and falls through it into some dark area*)

CERUBERUMON: - Whahahaha! I have no sent you to the shadow realm in which you shall never return from HA!

YAMI YUGI: - Believe what he says. I've been in here for months…

AGNIMON: - Oh this is JUST GREAT!

Suddenly something green starts swiping at him, hitting him with every blow.

AGNIMON: - Damn it I can't see him…ah well I'll just have to use my Sharingan then…

YAMI YUGI: - This is Digimon…not Naruto idiot… and you wouldn't be sasuke even if it was…

AGNIMON: - Shut up! At least I'm not in the completely wrong anime!

YAMI YUGI: - *sighs* Whatever…

AGNIMON: - (*Suddenly catches Ceruberumon by one of his paws*) HA! I got you know! Fire Dragon no Jutsu…

Nothing happens.

AGNIMON: - Crap…

YAMI YUGI: - (*Just sighs and puts his hand over his face in disbelief*) Idiot…

AGNIMON: - Okay well I have cooler fire attacks than THAT! (*Creates a fire tornado which Ceruberumon gets caught in*)

TOMOKI: - Eeee! SO COOL!

JUNPEI: - Yeah but he's no chocolate covered alco-pop though….

CERUBERUMON: - ARGH! I was defeated…that's just not fair… (*Digicode ring appears around him*)

AGNIMON: (*Whips out his D-Scanner*) You are a bad little puppy! And now I will put you to sleep! DIGICODE SCAN!!!

The digicode goes into the D-Scanner and Ceruberumon's digi-egg floats away.

NEEMON: - Can I have that egg for breakfast….?

BOKOMON: - No you cannot! Soon that egg will become good and er…stuff (*Neemon peers over his shoulder to look at his book*) HEY! QUIT PEEKING AT MY PORN!…er…I mean…all my classified information…hehehe….

Agnimon turns back into Takuya who is trying to catch his breath.

TAKUYA: - That was some rush -_-;; How the flippin' heck did I manage to turn into that…thing? And more importantly…why didn't I get any alcohol? (*Sulks*)

OPHANIMON: - Whahaha! You are officially my chosen bitch now Takuya!

TAKUYA: - Could you quit with the bitch thing, it makes me uncomfortable…

OPHANIMON: - NO! But remember you chose to come here yourself…so don't blame me if you die!

TAKUYA: -_-;; Such comforting words…

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NEXT EPISODE: -

JUNPEI: - ARGH! OMG! The evil cannibal grey things are attacking us again!!!! ARGH! NO! NOOOOO!!!

TOMOKI: - I WANNA GO HOME! These creatures keep looking at me funny and muttering about eating me with onions…

KOUJI: - Then I come and save the day…then leave mysteriously! WHOOHOO!

TAKUYA: - God, I love him…

KOUJI: - O_o;;

TAKUYA: - Next time on Digimon Frontier it's "Ballistic, cannibalistic, grey things! Lonewolf Kouji saves the day!" …Can we go on a date after this?

KOUJI: - ….no…

TAKUYA: - *sulks*

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