Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ The Mistakes We Make ❯ Epilogue V - Mazes ( Chapter 13 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Sylina died while this chapter was being written. That really upset me at the time, and I still get kinda sad looking at this chapter, knowing that she didn't get to read it. It's still a good chapter though.

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EPILOGUE - PART V

There are risks with any surgical procedure, and all of the known risks were spelled out in detail to the Motomiyas prior to their signing the consent forms. Once the neurosurgical team was ready and Daisuke was in pre-op, the Motomiyas were moved to a waiting area, where they found Jun napping fitfully. Mr. Motomiya felt vaguely guilty about practically forgetting the existence of his oldest while his youngest was in this crisis, but there was no recrimination in Jun's bloodshot eyes as he told her what had been told to him.

"You won't believe what Daisuke's friends told the police," she said after her father's recitation was through.

In spite of the lengthy explanations of the doctors and hospital staff, and the extreme efforts made to disclose everything to the Motomiyas so that nobody could later claim that their decision to go ahead with the surgery wasn't informed, there was one risk that was left out. One risk nobody really considered, that hadn't crossed anyone's mind.

That was the risk of Dr. Chigasaki finding, not an intraspinal meningioma as everyone expected, but a twitching, insect-like black appendage inserted between two of Daisuke's vertebrae, pressing deliberately against his spinal cord. And so, of course, the risk of Dr. Chigasaki, as well as half of the surgery team, being forced to retire to the washroom to be ill, wasn't brought up either.

Sleeping was nice. Daisuke had learned to like sleeping quite a bit, and so when he found himself flying headlong back toward consciousness, he fought this every step of the way. There was pain there, he recalled with vague but blinding terror. Unending, unbearable pain, inflicted on him by people he'd thought were his friends, pain much worse than anything the Kaizer had put him through.

So he cringed away from the waking world for as long as possible. Eventually, however, he realized that it was futile. Consciousness was returning whether he wanted it to or not, and to his initial relief the agony that he'd been in before seemed to be gone.

In fact, nothing hurt at the moment. This puzzled Daisuke greatly. For months, he'd lived with continual, low-level pain as the injuries inflicted by his master's ever-ingenious tortures attempted to heal. This background noise of discomfort, like the white noise of a television tuned to an empty station, seemed to have disappeared, and Daisuke suddenly panicked. Was he dead? He must be. Nothing else that he knew of would have removed every trace of residual pain.

His panic jolted him into full wakefulness, and his eyes shot open, searching the area around him for clues as to where he was. Nothing was immediately visible, though; it seemed to be pretty dark, with the light coming from an odd angle, and the ceiling was strangely white. He wanted to sit up and look around, but his body felt heavy and weak, and refused to move. His inability to react to his fear only increased his panic, like a feedback loop, and he whimpered.

"Shhh," said a soft voice from somewhere above him. "It's all right. I'm here." A hand went through his hair, and Daisuke relaxed, panic draining away like water. His master was with him, so everything must be all right after all.

Sighing a little and closing his eyes, Daisuke allowed the stroking hand to soothe him. He still felt heavy, yet almost cottony, and very strange, but if the Kaizer was doing something to him, he would lean into it and accept it. There was nothing else he could do, after all. He was property, and property didn't complain.

He fell into a light doze then, remembering another time when he had laid helplessly while the Kaizer played with his hair and body. Tightly bound so that he could barely twitch, with his knees spread widely and his ankles together, he had wept with shame and begged for his master to screw him. The Kaizer had worked up to that stage by degrees, alternately caressing and tormenting his slave's body until Daisuke was screaming with inflamed frustration. Then, while Daisuke panted and moaned with pain and desire, the Kaizer had begun to speak to him.

"What are you, Daisuke?"

Knowing the answer by now, Daisuke didn't hesitate in replying. "Your slave. You own me."

"What kind of slave are you?"

"Your sex slave."

"You like that, don't you?"

"Yes, master please, yes."

The Kaizer's fingers came down on one of the pressure points inside Daisuke's hip then, and lightning arced up through his genitals, and also down his thigh. Daisuke writhed and cried out, but there was no escaping the pain that his master chose to give him.

"Do you consider yourself free, Daisuke?"

His mind sharpened by the quicksilver agony that cramped across his hip, Daisuke moaned, "I'm ... yours. I ... belong to you, master, please stop!"

The Kaizer pressed down a bit harder, and Daisuke twisted and screamed. Suddenly, the torture stopped for a moment as the Kaizer lifted his fingertips from his slave's skin, and Daisuke fought to catch his breath.

"I know you like this," said his master. "I know that you like nothing more than being forced. You enjoy it when I make you submit, just the promise of being tortured for my pleasure turns you on. Isn't that so?"

Daisuke turned his head to one side, deeply ashamed and unable to deny the erection that the Kaizer's fingertips found next and lightly stroked. "You like it when I show you what a slut you are," continued the Kaizer thoughtfully, playing idly with Daisuke's cock. "You like it when I render you defenseless and put you through hell for no reason. I think that if I ignored you for a few days, or just screwed you and didn't hurt you, you'd miss it and ask for it. Wouldn't you?"

"I don't ... Oh-h-h-h-h ..." Daisuke squirmed a little, wanting to thrust his hips up toward his master's maddeningly gentle touch.

"This is freedom, isn't it, Daisuke? I've freed you from the ties of social controls. I've cut you loose from the opinions of others. You don't have to be something you were never meant to be, just because others say that you should. I've given you the ability to experience what you like. I've given you permission to be naked, helpless, and suffering, and I've given you permission to enjoy it."

Daisuke moaned again, his gut twisting at these words. He was still freshly broken to the Kaizer's will then, and faint echoes of rebellion still stirred within his heart. There was something deeply wrong about this logic, that slavery was freedom, that he was somehow liberated by having every aspect of his life controlled and having his body completely at the disposal of another. Yet, despite the wrongness, the deep and twisted depravity of this line of thinking, some part of Daisuke sank into the sanction that it offered, and embraced it.

He cried out a little as his master's hand slipped beneath his testicles and began to probe at his anus. It was humiliating, but it felt rather good. "Think about it a little," said the Kaizer, still thoughtful. "Think how many people would like to be in your place, but can't because the sort of things that I do to you aren't accepted by society." A finger slid inside Daisuke up to the first knuckle, and he couldn't hold still, his hips moving as if by themselves, trying to reach anything that would bring him to orgasm.

"Master ... master, please, fuck me, please."

"I don't think you're listening to me." The Kaizer's finger moved then, stroking Daisuke from within, in the most intimate way possible, and the bound slave groaned with pleasure. "What did I just say?"

"You said ... oh-h-h-h ... I ... you want me ... to believe ..."

The Kaizer's other hand shifted to stroke Daisuke's hair for a moment, then dropped to the slave's left nipple and crushed it brutally between the nails of his thumb and middle finger. Daisuke shrieked, trapped between the continuing, infuriating pleasure and the sharpness of the pain being inflicted on flesh already bruised from earlier amusements. There was no way to escape, stop, or mitigate either one; he had no choice but to endure both.

"What am I trying to tell you, Daisuke?" cooed the Kaizer. "I want to hear you say it."

Dragging the information, recently spoon-fed to him, out of a mind clouded by confusion and distracted by his master's ministrations proved difficult, but Daisuke gave it a go because he had to. "You ... ahh! You said that ... that I'm free because ... because ... you can ..."

"No," interrupted the Kaizer gently, not letting up at all. "This isn't about me, this is about you."

Daisuke, squirming in a futile effort to lessen or avoid the sensations being forced on him, tried again. "I ... I can ... you said that I ... can like this ..."

"And you do like it, don't you?"

"No ... yes ... master ..."

The Kaizer kissed him then, leaning far over to take his mouth while still tormenting him, and Daisuke kissed back with all of the fervor that had been teased out of him. His master's mouth was cool and liquid, like rainwater, and his tongue coaxed Daisuke's to wrap around it. And, after a little while, his hand left Daisuke's throbbing nipple and moved to stroke his hair again.

Whimpering softly, Daisuke whispered, "Master."

"Hmm? Are you awake again?"

"Yes," he said, and his voice came out as a rough croak. He shifted back out of the dreamy memory and into wakefulness automatically, before he remembered that he was afraid of the waking world. By the time his fear returned, he was awake enough to realize that there wasn't anything to fear, really.

There was still the puzzling lack of any pain whatsoever, but Daisuke soon realized that he could feel things touching him, so the theory that he was dead probably wasn't accurate. Something kept time for him with a steady, regular beeping, and he wondered what it was. He didn't recall his master having something that beeped like that, and he rather thought that the Kaizer would smash anything that did. He didn't feel quite as heavy and immobile this time, so he opened his eyes and slowly turned his head to check his surroundings.

He froze when he saw that the hand stroking his hair did not belong to the Kaizer after all. It took several seconds of shocked contemplation to realize that it was his mother.

"Mama?" he whispered, feeling dirty. There was something unnatural about thinking sexual thoughts about the Kaizer while his mother was touching him, and it gave him a cold shudder.

She smiled weakly, looking like she was about to break down into tears. "It's me, baby. You're safe now."

"Where am I?" he asked. The quality of light and the presence of some bizarre machinery within his field of vision gave him the idea that he wasn't home anymore. He had a vague recollection of Takeru and the other Digidestined coming for him, and then the horrible pain had started and he didn't remember very much after that. They must have taken him away from the Kaizer's bedroom and the code that had kept him safe from the Kaizer's device inside him. He glanced down and moved a hand to lay on his belly, where the tiny, faint scar was; his wrists were bandaged, an IV needle was taped to the back of his left hand, and a small clip with a light on it clung to his ring finger. He also still felt tired and heavy, although not so much as before, and there was something crossing his face and upper lip that he didn't like.

"You're at the hospital, baby," said his mother softly. "Your father's asleep, but he's here too. Everything's going to be all right now. One of your friends wants to come visit you tomorrow if you're feeling up to seeing him, and he's going to bring Chibimon."

"Chibi?" Something stirred within Daisuke at the prospect of seeing his partner again, but then he looked over at his mother. "How do you know about Chibimon?"

"Oh, Daisuke," she said, and the indications that she was about to cry became stronger, in her voice and her expression. "You didn't have to keep this a secret from us! Why didn't you tell us what was going on? We could have protected you!"

Daisuke, baffled, watched as she pulled his unresisting hand to her cheek and wept quietly. He'd never seen his mother act this way before, and the idea of his master behaving in this manner was ludicrous.

"Do you know who did this to you?" she asked quietly.

Daisuke nodded, still confused. If she knew about Chibimon, then didn't that mean that she knew about the digital world?

"Do you want to tell me?"

Something in the way she said this told Daisuke that she was not going to react positively to his relationship with his master. The tone of her voice held the same careful quality that his master's did whenever he was trying to lead Daisuke into a verbal trap, although she didn't hide it nearly as well as the Kaizer did. "Do I have to?" he asked, hoping that he wouldn't be punished for technically avoiding the question.

"If you don't want to talk about it now, that's okay," she said, and Daisuke relaxed a little. "I just want to know so we can find the person who did this to you."

A thrill of fear went through Daisuke then, and he said, "No, don't do that, please don't do that!" An encounter between the Kaizer and his mother ... there was no possible good ending to something like that.

"It's okay, it's okay," she said, hastening to pet his hair soothingly. "We won't ever let you go again, I promise. You'll be safe here. You won't ever have to go back again."

He stared blankly at her, wondering. She couldn't meant that he would never have to go back to the Kaizer ... could she? "What?" he said.

"We'll keep you safe this time," she whispered against his hand. "You won't ever have to go back to whoever did this to you."

"But ..." He stopped, breaking off. It was true, then, what his master had told him. The people in the real world weren't going to be very accepting of his status as the Kaizer's pet, the Kaizer's slave. He'd known that his master only told him the truth, but blind acceptance was a far cry from having this truth demonstrated to him.

Better to say nothing at all, than to say the wrong thing. He was walking in a minefield now, where any misstep could be socially lethal.

"It's okay, baby," his mother said, smiling tearfully. She smoothed his hair again, and he just stared at her. "Do you want to talk about anything?"

He shook his head, and she said, "Okay. I'll be right here, though, if you change your mind. Do you want anything?" Again, he shook his head. "Are you tired?" He considered this question, and nodded a bit, not totally a lie. He felt physically tired, yet keyed up, as if poised on the brink of a major undertaking. This was confusing, and he didn't understand it, but feigning total tiredness seemed like the thing to do. His mother had already proved to be a lot more lenient than his master, who rarely let him avoid questions, and who never made such a broad inquiry as to whether he wanted anything. His master also never concerned himself about whether or not Daisuke needed rest. The reins that his mother held were loose indeed, and he could probably slip right out of them.

So he pretended to be tired, and even closed his eyes, listening to the faint beeping of the equipment that surrounded the bed. Now that all distractions were gone, he noticed that his legs felt rather strange, as if something were crawling across them, but he didn't feel like searching for the cause. After a little while, his mother put his hand down and he could hear her moving around a little. Then the quiet descended again.

Daisuke waited what felt like a very long time indeed before cracking open his eyes again. Glancing carefully around revealed that his mother had retreated to a small futon on the floor and appeared to be napping there. His father was also sleeping quietly. There was no one else in the room. So he started to take catalogue of what was holding him here.

The first thing to come off was the needle in his hand. He carefully peeled off the tape and pulled the thing out; it was a good inch long, it turned out, and a lot thicker than the ones his master used. A fat drop of blood came up out of the puncture wound, and clear IV fluid dripped onto the floor once he'd dropped it. Next was the thing clipped to his finger, which made a frantic beeping sound as he removed it, complaining like a living thing. With his hands completely freed, he explored the thing on his face, and discovered it to be some kind of tubing stuck up his nose. This too came off. Next were the wires taped to his chest, and as soon as those were off the sedate beeping that had been marking off the minutes for him turned into a steady, highly irritating buzz.

He attempted to sit up at this point so he could find out what was giving him the bizarre crawly feeling in his legs, but his back muscles didn't seem to want to cooperate, and then his mother's voice said, "Daisuke, what are you doing?" He looked at her, feeling caught and trapped, as she rose from the futon and approached the bed. At that moment, a young nurse also hurried in and said much the same thing.

"You can't take these off, honey," she said, and began to tape the electrodes back onto Daisuke's chest.

"I have to leave," he said quietly. "I can't stay here."

His mother had nothing to say about that, apparently, as she remained silent while the nurse went about replacing everything that Daisuke had just removed. The IV needle was discarded and a different vein selected for the new one. Daisuke noted with something like alarm that it didn't hurt going in.

"There," said the nurse after she had finished roping Daisuke down again with all of these wires and tubes and things. "You need to leave these alone, now, or you won't get better." She smiled kindly at him, which for some reason reminded him sharply of Mimi, and didn't seem to take offence when he simply stared at her.

After ruffling his hair a little, the nurse turned to his mother and said quietly, "Dr. Oniyuu said this might happen."

"I don't understand," said Daisuke's mother.

"I'll let him know what happened, and I'm sure he'll talk to you about it tomorrow, okay?" His mother nodded, and the nurse flashed him another smile before departing again.

So, he couldn't leave without being noticed, at least not while he had all of this gear hooked up to him. His mother moved a chair next to his bed and sat down again, saying nothing but watching him worriedly. Daisuke turned his head away and closed his eyes.

He missed the Kaizer already.

A kindly, middle-aged woman with greying hair came to see Daisuke the next morning, along with a younger fellow who asked Daisuke's parents to come out into the hallway with him. The woman introduced herself as Dr. Watanuki, smiled a lot and said that she was Daisuke's primary doctor, and then started to look Daisuke over, writing down a lot of things on the clipboard that she carried.

After that, she sat down next to him and put on her stethoscope, saying, "This isn't going to hurt, okay? I just want to listen to your heart a little." Daisuke just stared at her, wondering if he was supposed to be reassured. He wasn't alarmed in the first place; he knew what a stethoscope was.

She listened to his heart beat for a few seconds, and then had him roll onto his side and inhale deeply while she held the stethoscope to his back. It was at this point that Daisuke figured out that he had a wound in his back, because he could feel the stitches pulling as he breathed, and because Dr. Watanuki examined it while he was rolled over. This was probably why he had trouble sitting up, or so he figured anyway.

When this was done, he was allowed to lay back down again, and Dr. Watanuki said, "Tell me if any of this hurts." She pressed a little against various spots in his abdomen, and nothing did, at least not significantly, so Daisuke remained silent.

While doing this, she said conversationally, "I hear you tried to leave us last night." When Daisuke didn't bother to reply to this, she sat back a little and said, "You don't have to run away, Daisuke. You're safe here. Nobody is going to be able to get to you here."

"I can't stay," he said softly.

"Why not?"

Daisuke glanced at the door, toward his mother, who he already knew would never approve. Then he looked at the doctor, with her open expression and gentle eyes, reminding him somewhat of his grandmother, only not quite so old. Then he said softly, "I have to go back."

"Why?" Dr. Watanuki sounded concerned, and glanced at the door as well. "Are you afraid of your parents?"

He shook his head, because this was patently ridiculous. "I have to go back to him."

She smiled a sad, grimacing, pitying little smile then and started to rearrange the pillows that Daisuke was laying on, the ones that he assumed kept him from putting pressure on the stitched wound in his back. "You don't have to do that, Daisuke. I told you, you're safe here. He can't hurt you anymore."

She didn't understand. Just as the Kaizer said, even this kindly old doctor lady didn't understand. Daisuke was quiet for the rest of her tests, even when she put on a pair of rubber gloves and eased one finger up inside him. She took her time getting at this, reassuring him that she was just testing that his spinal cord wasn't damaged, and it seemed to bother her a little that this particular test didn't bother him. In fact, it sort of turned him on, and she appeared not to notice.

He found out during all of this what was making his legs feel so strange - a pair of bizarre, boot-like contraptions that had been fit around them. When Dr. Watanuki saw him contemplating this, she took the time to explain what they were for, but Daisuke didn't really listen to her. Something about blood clots. It felt weird, and they looked really weird, but that was all. It didn't disturb him.

After writing down lots of stuff on her clipboard, Watanuki said, "Do you know what happened to you, Daisuke?" Unsure what she was talking about, he shook his head, and she continued, "There was some kind of object inside you. On the pictures we took, it looked like a certain kind of very rare tumor, so a nice doctor named Chigasaki operated on you to remove it. We tried to keep it, because nobody had ever seen anything like this before, but it dissolved a few hours after we took it out. It was pressing against your spinal cord, and a few other places inside you too, which was what the pain was that you were feeling before we put you to sleep."

"You took it out?" asked Daisuke, his stomach sinking. Whispering, he said, "He's going to be angry."

"Do you know what it was?"

Daisuke shook his head. "He made it. He's a genius, you know, he can do things like that. He's going to be so angry."

"Who is?" asked Watanuki gently.

Unsure why, exactly, he felt it was okay to tell this doctor, while it hadn't been okay to tell his mother, Daisuke said softly, "My master."

"Does he have a name?"

Shaking his head, and discovering that he was trembling, Daisuke said, "I'm not supposed to call him that."

She smiled then, the same pitying smile as before, and said, "It's okay, don't be afraid. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Daisuke wasn't afraid, exactly. He wasn't certain what it was that he was feeling, but it didn't seem like fear. It felt more like excitement, as if he were sharing an important secret with Watanuki. "I'm not afraid," he said.

"If you want to talk about it later, that's okay," she said, and some of the pity slipped out of her smile. "It's not good for you to get upset right now, though. You need to rest and heal. Is it okay with you if your parents come back in now?"

Nodding a little, Daisuke said, "You won't tell them, will you?" He wasn't sure why he said this, either. The whole subject of the Kaizer seemed like an enormous secret, one he didn't want his parents to know about.

"No, I won't," she said. "But I think you should. They're worried about you, Daisuke."