Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Vegeta Meets the Real Santa ❯ Vegeta Meets the Real Santa ( One-Shot )

Vegeta meets the real Santa Claus

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ please don't sue.

A/N - I wrote this quick little one shot for everyone on my mailing list last Christmas, and thought that this year I would share it with everyone. Enjoy! Ember.

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T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, nothing was stirring, not even a mouse…

Well that is how one of its occupants wanted it to appear. The semi-light from the city around them settled its faint glow around the darkened compound, only added to with the sparkling of the occasional fairy light on tinsel. The shadows shifted as the predator and ruler of the night, (he had to be ruler of something, better this than nothing) used years upon years of stealth training to his advantage, and to avoid detection from what, you may well ask? Well it can be summed up in one word 'Bulma.'

He was almost there! He could see the fake frosting on the glass of the kitchen door, almost safe. Just a couple of more steps, and then click "What are you doing?"

Vegeta whipped his head around as the lights flickered on, and breathed a sigh of relief. He phased out of focus quicker than a flash, grabbing the intruder from behind, keeping one hand around its struggling body, and the other clasped firmly around his mouth. "Listen to me very carefully boy. What's the most scary thing you can possibly think of?"

Lavender hair stopped thrashing, and tried to speak, "mffoo"

Vegeta chuckled, and whispered again, "Other than me?"

Trunks' eyes opened, wide and had the relief of his father's hand moving away, "Goten's Kaasan?"

"What the…?" he tried to sound angry, this wasn't going how he had wanted it to, but he had to admit that the boy was right. "Fine! Do you know what scares me more than anything else at this moment?"

Eleven year old purple bangs shook from side to side.

"Waking your mother up, and do you know why?" he didn't give Trunks the opportunity to say anything, "Because if your mother finds me sneaking off to train on Christmas eve, not only will she make me stay in the house when Kakarrot and the others come over, but there will be no bedroom…?" he caught himself and remembered who he was speaking to. "Lets just say it's not something I want to happen, do we understand each other?"

Trunks nodded his head in corroboration, having your parents screaming at each other was not helpful when you wanted to sneak out and do some Santa hunting. Goten would have crept out by now and was probably waiting for him on the roof, he couldn't afford to lose anymore time. "Sure thing Dad, oh and I'd go out of the dining room doors. They don't creak as much!"

There was a nod of approval in which time Trunks skipped happily away, before his father put two and two together, to equal a full power training session. Fortunately for the young half Saiyan, his father had more important things to worry about. He changed courses to the dining room, and stalked out into the freezing nights sky. Now where would he go? The gravity room was off limits, that onna and her damn security codes, besides even if she hadn't activated them, then the whirring of the powerful computer would have been too much of a risk. There was only one place he could think of and he made a beeline for the forest.

Three hours of beautifully gory, boar hunting later, and Vegeta was thinking it was about time to finish up. Getting back to his mate before she noticed he was missing was top priority, and he knew damn well that on Christmas Eve she was an even bigger kid than Kakarrot. That meant practically no sleep. It had taken until two o'clock in the morning for her to fall asleep. In the end he had given up on even attempting to feign sleep, and used the situation to his advantage. He got the best of everything. Not only did she fall asleep like a baby, but he also got damn good sex! He really was a genius. "Don't you just loved it when a good plan comes together!" he chucked out in a mist full of air.

It was then as the mist cleared he caught a glimpse of something in the sky, "Kakarrot?" was his first reaction, but his second was more confusing as he concentrated on the flying blur and couldn't make out a ki reading. He dipped an eyebrow as he traced the strange light across the sky. Was it a shooting star? No it would have burned up by now. Was it a ship? Yes that was it! It had to be a spaceship of some sort. Though why it was going so slowly, and didn't appear to be landing was a mystery to him. He didn't have a choice now. He had to investigate! Whatever was on that ship might not be friendly, and although he didn't care about the planet in general, he did care about two of its inhabitants. Whatever it took he would defend them, although Trunks could probably take care of himself now he was a Super Saiyan.

In a bright burst of energy he blew away any tree's that were in close proximity, and sped after the strange light. He could see it more clearly now he was getting closer. It looked like the funniest ship he had ever seen. It was red for starters, and he only knew of two species that travelled in red ships. The Kinota-jin were a mainly peaceful race, their planet had been purged many years ago, but he knew there were still survivors. They could easily be here for their revenge on him and his family, but he doubted they could do any damage. They were an even weaker species than the humans.

The second was more of a worry. If it was the Guntou-jin, then things were going to get a little rocky. He remembered that even Frieza had been afraid to challenge their solar system, and although he would not admit to it, had been fearful of their powers. His eyebrows twitched in anticipation. If this was a Guntou-jin ship then things were about to get interesting, even fun!

Under the direction of his warrior blood he piled on more speed, eagerly looking forward to the up coming carnage! He was literally drooling in anticipation. He had been dormant for too long, become far too domesticated, tonight, with the smell of boar blood still heightening every sense, he would be able to let loose!

With his mind full on his bloodlust urges, he didn't pay any attention to what he was chasing, until he was flying over the top of it. It was then that his face fell, "NANI? What the hell is this? Some sort of sick joke!"

The object was now stationery, hovering over the rooftops of a small thatched village, miles away from the nearest town. Its sculpted chasse was bulky, made of wood, and apparently with no thought to aerodynamics. Gold leaf accented the baroque curves, looking strangely familiar to his Saiyan eyes. He had definitely seen it before that day, but it sure as hell hadn't been in space, and then… then there were the creature accompaniments. On his arrival they had turned their heads to survey him, but after a quick glance they had snorted a feral greeting and turned their attention forwards again.

The before mentioned sled was empty, save for a large brown sack. Unfortunately for Vegeta it wasn't to remain that way for long. He caught the power in the starlit night. It travelled on the wind, a power that he recognized, and he was just about to whisper "Kakarrot" when the incarnation of energy, materialized before him.

Where there had been nothing but air before, there now sat an annoyingly cheerful old man with dark red pyjamas. The white of his beard and fur that clung in great swathes around his collar, and cuffs, shone against the blackness surrounding them. "Who the hell are you, and how did you do that?" Vegeta demanded as soon as his wits returned to him.

"My dear boy!" came the all too patronizing reply, "I am Santa Claus, and how did I do what?"

"The instant-transmission? Who taught you it?" he snarled, his patience wearing thin, this was no fun at all. He wanted a fight, and the chances of getting any enjoyment from attacking the aging fool, were very slim.

"Oh yes that! That nice boy who lives in the forest with his family taught it to me a few years ago. He was so nice! Gave each of the reindeers a carrot, and gave me as many mince pies, and glasses of milk, as a living legend could eat as he explained the principles to me. Amazing technique that! It saves so much time. I must admit that Donna, and Blitzen were a little peeved at first," he nudged in closer and held a secretive hand to his mouth, "Thought they were going to lose their jobs over it. Have you ever been petitioned by a reindeer union? Thank Kami, for the wife, that's all I can say! Well we sorted it all out, and here we are, more efficient than ever!"

"Kakarrot taught you the instant-transmission, huh after all the plea's by the Senshi he has to go and teach it to a worthless human, figures! Baka!"

"Well I am very thankful to him! So… now you know who I am, could you tell me who you are, it might save me a trip!"

"I am Vegeta, Prince of the Saiyan's, and you old man are getting on my nerves!"

The old man seemed to ignore his words, making the Saiyan all the more angry. He was rummaging around in the bottom of his flying obscenity, without a care that the warrior in front of him could vaporize him in an instant, "Ah here we are! The naughty and nice list! Tell me prince of the Saiyan's, have you been a good boy this year?"

Vegeta almost fell out of the sky, "What the fuck? No! I have not been a good boy, now give me the damned lump of coal, and carry on with your journeys!"

"Ah hah! Here we have it!" The old man continued, "Vegeta, Saiyans, prince of… Now lets have a look-see shall we? Well my list seems to disagree with you. Compared to previous years, let me see, purging, killing innocents, and… oh my… trying to take over the world, then you have passed with flying colours."

Vegeta cocked an eyebrow, "Really?" he asked, before realizing what that implied, "Damn humans making me soft!" he growled, "It's all their fault!"

"Well whoever's fault it is, by my calculations you are entitled to two presents."

The words, and their import dawned on him in bone crushing reality, "Kuso! Presents! Damn it! I completely forgot, ugh, darn Chikyu customs!"

"So what will it be Vegeta? World domination? Power? Immortality perhaps? Anything you want!"

Vegeta hardly heard what Santa was saying, that was until the 'anything you want' part. His lips sloped up at one side, "Anything?" he chuckled.

"Anything." confirmed the old man, only this time with a sinking feeling that he would regret this strange meeting.

"Well in that case I have a little mission for the two of us! Are you up to it?"

Santa gulped, "What kind of mission?"

"Firstly you have to find the most expensive perfume and dress for the woman, but I think that will be of little trouble to someone of your talents, but as for the next? Well the second part, I do not think you are going to like, but you did say anything, remember!"

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On the sloped rooftops of the Capsule Corporation, two young boys sat in grim determination, at least one sat, whilst the other skipped around him singing "I'm gonna catch a Santa! I'm gonna catch a Santa!" Over and over again.

"Goten! Hasn't your dad taught you anything?" Trunks growled, when his friends chant stopped being funny, which was pretty quickly, "The first rule of fighting, never let your enemy know that you're waiting for him."

"Aw but Trunks, Santa isn't the enemy!"

The young boy rolled his eyes in a similar manner to his father, "I know that, but we have to keep quiet if we're gonna catch him and squeeze a few extra presents out of him, ok?"

Goten stopped skipping and sat down next to his best friend, "Sure thing! So what time does he get here?"

"I dunno, but we'll be here waiting for him, even if it takes all night." He leant back and looked up at the star-filled night, "Come on Santa, where are you."

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High above, and at a little distance, away from the Capsule compound a flying reindeer powered sledge came to an abrupt halt. "This is close enough old man! Now you remember what you have to do?"

The red clothed, black booted man, nodded his head in a grudging agreement, "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Vegeta very slowly and maliciously let his head drop into a solitary nod. "This is what Trunks wants! And if he wants it, then he gets it!"

"Very well, but this cancels out the next ten years presents, whether you are good or not, is that understood?"

"I don't plan on being so soft these next few years, so it doesn't bother me! Now are you ready?"

"Yes." The noise was almost a squeak.

"Good! I suggest you stay away from the north buildings though, there are senses set to trace any flights out of that area. Damn that woman!"

Santa stared blankly at the Saiyan for a minute, before leaving him behind to carry out his mission. With a jingle of reins the sled flew down around Western Capital City, and towards a large sprawl of domed buildings. Santa cursed under his breath, he wished that the fad for designer houses would end, how was he supposed to land the reindeers safely only these curved monstrosities.

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A glitter of something sparked life and animation into Trunk's previously still figure. "Goten… GOTEN… wake up its Santa, he's here, he's here!"

Goten slowly opened his eyes, rubbing them to try and make them stay that way, "Wow really Santa's here?" *yawn*

"Are you ready? Remember the plan?"

"Yeah, yeah, I keep him occupied, whilst you fly around behind him and capture him."

"Yeah that's the one, this year it's going to work. He was lucky last time. Damn reindeers tipping him off, well this time I'm going to get what I want! Just keep him busy!" Saying as much Trunks crept into the shadows.

As soon as his friend had taken up position, did Goten unleash his full power. He stood out like a beacon in his Super Saiyan form. He looked up to see the red and gold of the yuletide sleigh. In the distance he could here the chiming of bells. "SANTA! HEY SANTA! DOWN HERE YA BIG FAT FOOL!"

The sleigh came to rest just in front of the young boy. "And what can I do for you son?" he asked.

Goten smiled innocently, "Tonight is your lucky night Santa, you're my one-hundredth customer." Without further delay the half Saiyan spun around and pulled his pants down. "Hey Santa look! The moon got wished back!" he jeered, waving his rear in the air.

The old man's eyes rolled into the back of his head, maybe he should think about retirement! One thing was for sure. One Saiyan no Ouji was never ever getting a present for Christmas again! "Ho, ho ,ho." He laughed, sarcasm dripping off every syllable.

Something moved under the cover of darkness and chose this moment to pounce. Strong chibi arms, sped out of the shadows and held firmly onto red cloth. "We have you now Santa." Trunks hissed into his ear.

Goten, in the mean time, flew around the restrained Samaritan, singing, "We caught a Santa! We caught a Santa!"

"What can I do for you young boy's then?"

"We want present's Santa and lots of them." Replied Trunks, expecting resistance.

"Why of course! That's why I am here!"

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From underneath the Santa mayhem, Vegeta walked carefully into the main house. His presents for Bulma had been carefully wrapped and he sat them meticulously under the glittered-clad tree, before retiring to their room. Even from inside he could here the chorus of exited yelps from outside as Santa delivered his promise to Trunks and Goten. He looked out of the window only to see the later flying off towards the Son house with a large brown sack over his shoulders, and Trunks flying up to his room with a similar accompaniment of parcels. He shook his head and closed the curtains, before carefully returning to bed.

He sighed a single exhalation of relief as he lay down without waking his woman. His head gently hit the pillow, but it wasn't met with the usual soft padding. The sound of crunched up paper made him sit up again. He fumbled around where his head had fallen, and pulled out the offending item. The lettering was bold and short. In truth it was only one word, and Vegeta's drowsy eyes snapped open as he read. "Damn it!" he cried out.

On the other side of the bed cerulean eyes opened, and an evil grin spread across delicate human skin, "Happy Christmas Vegeta. Oh, and Goku is coming round at 10 o'clock tomorrow, I expect you to be here to meet him! You know why." Her eyes closed again, as she slipped back into whatever dream she had been disturbed from.

Vegeta swore himself to sleep, in every language he knew, and some that he made up, as his nights exertions finally caught up with him. As his eyes closed and scowl softened, the small scrap of paper fell from his hands. Its crumpled remains fell to the floor, and the word "SPRUNG" shone out under the luminescence of a highlighter pen.

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, nothing was stirring, not even a… *ahem* Saiyan! (Sorry couldn't resist)

The End.

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A/N - I hope you enjoyed this little piece of Christmas nonsense! Have a great Christmas! Ember