Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ When in Disgrace ❯ When in Disgrace ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z.

Author's Notes: I'm eventually going to do a rewrite on this. I just haven't gotten around to it. The timeline is set in various places in the Buu Saga: 1) The first segment is after Goku kills Yakon, the light-eating toad; 2) the second segment is right before Vegeta turns Majin; and 3) the final segment is when Vegeta is sacrificing himself. Hope that clears things up for you, and I hope you enjoy. Please leave a review.

When in Disgrace: Sonnet 29 by Shakespeare

When, in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

`He still has energy to spare.'

I could almost laugh, if the urge to scream wasn't as strong. This is ridiculous. He's a corpse. Just a corpse. How exactly can he have life energy if he's just a corpse, that's what I'd like to know?

If I had pulled a stunt like that I would have wasted all my life energy.

But then, that's my fate, isn't it? Second place. But it wasn't supposed to be like that. It was my fate to be the best. I'm a prince. I was supposed to be the king. I was supposed to turn Super Saiyan, not him. I was supposed to kill Frieza. I was supposed to be the most powerful individual.

Not him. Me.

I'm the strongest alive on earth, and Kakarrot still haunts me.

I wonder if he ever heard me. I used to scream at him-scream toward heaven. Curse him for disgracing me. Is that why he came back? To teach me my place?

Well, he needn't have. I know I'm an outcast. I killed all my allies one by one. Anyone who followed me or offered help, I would sacrifice as soon as they became inconvenient. All to gain power and kill Frieza. Fulfill my fate. And for what? To make way for another to kill Frieza? New allies who detest me and hold no respect for me? Power easily surpassed by one who should be my inferior?

I cry sometimes. Never when anyone can see me. When I'm alone, and I realize no matter how hard I try, I'll never be the best. A few tears slip by, sometimes instantly evaporated by a surge of ki. I don't think of such times. I try not to think of them. It is a shameful time - a time of disgrace. But I show weakness because I am weak. Never mind that I could probably defeat every one of Earth's living warriors. That doesn't matter. Nothing - I - don't matter unless I'm the strongest. And I'm not.

If only there was something I could do to gain more power. I'd give anything…

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,

Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least;

We're waiting now.

I AM second. I could have taken down that demon-king. Idiot boy. He has no idea what his blood has given him. He does not even appreciate his innate power. He didn't work for it.

Kakarrot has grown in power. Kami, I wish I were like him. Unlimited natural abilities. Nothing to stand in my way-not even death. Everyone has heard of him. Everyone respects him. Everyone likes him. Killer of Frieza. Strongest being in the universe.

I am the prince! I could have been the king! It should have been mine!

Why is that purple wimp giving me such a strange look? Could he know what I'm planning? Could he possibly know?

`What kind of person are you?' the Supreme Kai asked. Honestly, I don't know.

I've lived so long in shadows. I am royalty. I was given the best education and training that could be found. I was personally trained by Frieza, for Kami's sake! My life has been pure hell, and I took it. I took it all, just to gain strength. I gave everything! I sacrificed everything! It's not fair!

All these people on earth, they don't understand. They're happy. They don't understand why I am the way I am. They don't understand why I can't love. They don't understand how much I want to be like them. Love, friendship, family, peace…

I hate myself. Hate what I became because of Frieza. Hate what I became because of Kakarrot. Hate that I can't be like them. I can't… I want so much to give up.

The demon-king can see the evil in men's hearts? Well, take a gander at me! It seems everyone else sees right through me, anyway. The Supreme Kai, Kakarrot, Bulma…

No. I won't think of her, or anyone. I'm sick of myself. The self-pity. The jealousy. The worthlessness. The weakness. Come on, Babadi. I'm tired of waiting. Change me, already! Cleanse and strengthen. I'm tired of feeling! I'm tired of my soul! Take it! Do it before I change my mind! Make me the prince is was!

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state

(Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;

Why am I feeling? I have no soul.

I gave up everything.

I can't stop thinking of them. My wife… my son…

The boy is so strong. He actually punched Buu away from me.

I heard him. His mother told him I was a prince. I didn't know that. The boy is defending me-believing in me, after all I've done.

I can't despise myself anymore. I was a fool to sell my soul. The longer I spent fighting Kakarrot, in the hell of my own making, the more I realized I gave up. The boy and his mother had given me heaven. I never deserved heaven, but they gave it to me anyway.

They are my reason for life. They must live. So I will die.

I don't deserve heaven. I know that. Piccolo's words didn't shock me one bit.

I'm just glad I got to hold Trunks one last time.

Why am I not hating myself now?

I can't even think of myself. There's no room for me. It's all Bulma, Trunks, and, yes, even Kakarrot.

Buu is a killer, like I used to be.

`I think I understand you now.'

I have to destroy the killers. Myself… Buu…

Forgive me, Bulma. Forgive me.

I no longer want to be a prince-to be strong. I just want to keep them safe.

And I'll be happy.

For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.