Dragon Knights Fan Fiction ❯ Watching You ❯ Watching You ( Chapter 1 )

EDIT: One-shot, Viaresu (aka Bierrez, un Tokyopop screwed way) thinking of Cesia. Of course he's "dead" at this point, but yeah. And btw, on the edit, *SPOILER* I now know that he and Gil return in DK 21 */SPOILER*. And yet, I still love the whole theme/feeling of this piece so it stays.

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Watching You

[A Viaresu (Bierrez)/Cesia one shot]

Frozen here, watching you.

It is all I can do now. No chance to cry out warning as I watch you head into danger with my heart in my throat; no way to be there for you to wipe away the tears. All I can do is watch as you live, as you laugh and cry, weep and smile.

Yet you smile not for me, but for him.

Don't you understand-?

He can only hurt you. I've seen what he does, has done to many others, so coldly, so thoughtlessly, seen him for the monster that he is. Do you suspect at all? I think you know his dark past, and yet you constantly ignore it, insistently making your own way. Stubborn...so stubborn, as always. I want to smile and scold at the same time your foolish tenacity. I want to warn you, push you away from him-but all I can do is watch.

It's hopeless; I know. And yet I still watch.

You seem happy now. I watch your smiles-smiles glowing with the pure ecstasy of living-and sometimes they even bring an answering one to my own face. And sometimes I think that, even in this cursÄ-d pseudo-existence, I have found happiness.

But tell me, what is happiness...? Is it that smile of untainted joy on your face?...few were the times that it ever replaced your frown, however briefly, in the past. It comes often now, in his presence. Are you blinded to his true self? Or do you want to ignore it? I wish I could ask you, be by you and listen, if only for mere seconds-but all I can do is watch.

All I can do is watch.

Perhaps you know how I feel. I watched as you spoke of me, thought of me, and could only hope that the fleeting expression crossing your face was one that mirrored the one on mine now. Do you realize?Â

And still you turn to him? He the monster, he the murderer, he the blood-marred and joyful death-god...Weights upon a heart that no longer beats. I want...need...to tell you, ask you-but all I can do is watch.

Watch, as the familiar ache of regret claws its way up to torment me. So short a life it felt, shorter still the hours in your presence, and yet so many failures. I failed to protect you, and in the end, blinded by my shortsightedness, entrusted your protection to him. A life of regrets I lived, only to end it with the greatest sin of all.Â

It hurts to see you, so close and yet so far from me. A beautiful thing, too delicate, too pure for me to ever hope to touch. And yet I watch...your visage is my retribution, my reminder: I have a task yet unfulfilled to complete.

Maybe, just maybe, one day I will be able to breach the distance between us and seize my chance-

-but for now, all I can do is watch.

Watching you.

sotto mezameru
hakanai omoi zutto
donna toki demo negau yo
anata ni todoku you ni to...

"ato sukoshi" to yuu kyori ga fumidasenakute
itsumo me no mae wa tozasarete-ita no
aitai aenai hibi wo kasaneru tabi ni
tsuyoi tokimeki wa setsunasa ni naru yo

moshimo eien to yuu mono ga aru nara
toomawari shite demo shinjite mitai
"bukiyou dakara KIZUtsuku koto mo aru" to
wakatte mo tomaranai mou dare ni mo makenai

anata no koto wo omou
sore dake de namida ga
ima afuredashite kuru yo
hakanai omoi zutto
donna toki demo negau yo
anata ni todoku you ni to...

tsuyogaru koto dake shiri-sugite-ita watashi
dakedo ano toki kara mayoi wa kieta yo

misetai to omou mono ga kitto atte
kikasetai kotoba mo takusan aru
egao nakigao mo zenbu mite hoshikute
matte-iru watashi wa yamete
"CHANSU" wo tsukamu yo

anata no koto wo omou
sore dake de kokoro ga
tsuyoku nareru ki ga suru yo
tookute koe ga todokanai dakedo itsuka wa
kanarazu todoku you ni
shinjite la la la la la la...
shinjite la la la la la la...
shinjite la la la la la la...

Quietly awakening...
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...

Unable to move forward across "just a little more" distance
The way I see before me is always blocked
Every time the days I want to see you but can't pile up,
My strong heartbeat turns into heartbreak.

If there is such a thing as "eternity,"
I want to believe, even if I have to take the long way.
Although I know that I've been hurt before because I'm clumsy
I won't stop; I won't give in to anyone.

I think of you
and that alone is enough
to make the tears start to flow now
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...

I've known all too well about pretending to be strong.
But since then, my doubts have vanished.

There's definitely things I want to show you
And so many words I want to hear
I want to see all sides of you, when you laugh and cry
So I'll stop waiting
and seize my "chance."

I think of you,
and I feel like that alone is enough
to make my heart grow stronger.
My distant voice can't reach you now, but I know that someday
it definitely will...
Believe. la la la la la la...
Believe. la la la la la la...
Believe. la la la la la la...