Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Walking Blind ❯ On Nothing Inside ( Chapter 2 )

Walking Blind

Author's Note: I know, I know. It sucks so far, but give me a break, I'm not the best you know. Well here is where our dear friend Squall gets his life turned inside out. Poor guy. But don't worry help is on the way for Squall Leonhart and soon we will see the better side of this story. So just sit back and breath deep before you begin this chapter. And just so you know, this chapter is NOT about Rinoa. Just so there's no confusion. Enjoy!

Disclaimer's:Nope, don't own it and neither do you! SO THERE!!

Chapter 2: On Nothing Inside

Come into this world that's silent,

A world that is unfair and violent.

Hidden pain and dried up tears,

A place that's born of all our fears.

Emptiness fills up this place,

We whiter in our own disgrace.

This is where all evil will hide,

And where we live on nothing inside.

~Lynxionia

The world around her returned as she sat up out of her bed in a rush. Sweat was pouring down her body and her breathing was labored. Slowly she began to calm her shaken nerves and gain her composer once again. It took so much energy to sleep; nothing could ever sooth her aching mind. Closing her eyes, she evened her breathing and quieted her mind, then with renewed composer, she got out of her bed and walked over to the counter in the small kitchen. Pouring a glass of water, she allowed herself to remember the dream she had been shaken by.

It was the same as always, the same image that haunted her from the start. It was a memory turned into a nightmare that she felt she would never be rid of no matter how many times she tried to forget it. The face of that man was the only thing in life she ever feared and it was the only thing in life that gave her the motive to live. To live was to deny he had control; to live was to show that despite his every effort to see her die, he would not succeed. She hated him; she despised his very existence and the evil he represented. Not only did he try to destroy her and make her suffer, but in the end he had only wanted to watch her die even if it was not at his hands.

Yet, she stood in her small kitchen that she had known for so long and for the first time in over ten years, would let another human being would be in her presents for more than just a day or two. They had told her only yesterday that someone was coming and that they would be put with her. But even as she thought of it now, she could not see if this was something to be happy or sad about. For if it would have been under normal circumstances she knew that it should be something to dread, but to be quite frank, she had stopped caring and now it was just another person that would bother the hell out of her.

With nothing else to do, she finished off her glass of water, and headed for the bathroom to change. It would probably be like any other day with people trying to "change her for her own good".

Stripping from her sleeping clothes, she turned on the shower to the hottest setting, hoping that the scalding water would drown out her senses for the day ahead. Stepping into the water and letting it fall over her almond skin and spill down her lean body and swirl down the drain, she closed her eyes and just stood there clear of thought. Finishing off her shower, she slipped into a pair of jean shorts and a light blue tang top. Pulling her knee length hair up into a high ponytail and pulling on a pair of white tennis shoes she reached for the contents on the nightstand. Adding her necklace and rings as finishing touches, a key turned in the door and it swung open to reveal two men in white suits.

"You are wanted at the main office." It was a statement, not a request.

She simply stepped outside of her small living space into the hallway and began the trek to the main office on the first floor with her "escort" close behind. It was obvious why she was going down to the all to familiar main office. They were going to "introduce" her to her new roommate. With a heavy sigh she entered the elevator, one of her "escorts" pressed the button for the first floor, and let the elevator take her down in silence.

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They were sending him to an awful place. A place where people that weren't like him were suppose to be. But here he was, in a white car with large men in white suits, being taken to the one place he knew he wasn't suppose to be. As he sat on the white leather seats of the car looking at the scenery go by in a blur of color he let the reality sink in.

He felt empty and cold. Void to all senses that would have told him to be angry and extremely upset. But it was all just one big feeling of nothingness that clouded his already torn mind and heart. This world was just so cruel and unforgiving but at the same time it was fair and just. It had opened his eyes to the truth, but had torn him apart in the process.

With sad sky blue eyes, he watched the white car stop in front of a large gate that closed off what seemed be a small city. The driver of the car punched a few numbers into a keypad and the iron gate slowly began to swing open. The car once again began to move forward and the features of this small city began to appear.

There were small shops, inns, bars, and even a hospital set up as any city would. But the difference between every other city and this one was the large brick building that stood in the center that towered above all the other buildings around it.

(That must be where they're taking you. How "pleasant".) His thought chimed in the back of his head and he simply ignored them as he had become accustom to doing.

The brick building became larger and larger as they got closer to its immense shadow thrown across the small town. The car came to a halt and the white men in suits got out of the car and pulled him along as if he couldn't do it on his own. Holding onto his forearms firmly, they walked him up the ancient stone steps into the entrance of this brick monster. Just before they carried him through the door he caught a glimpse of the engraving across the stone entryway. The Oceans Shore.

With his arms still firmly in their grasp of the men in white, he was pushed though another door that was cream colored and came upon a desk where a small dark haired woman with brown eyes was rummaging through a draw of files. Her white suit with nametag and hat finished off the image as a true secretary and she lifted her eyes to look at him. Then, lowering her eyes back to the task she had been doing, she spoke in a high ringing voice; "I'll be with you in a moment." She lowered her head again and continued to rummage through the files. Then after pulling out a file in the "o" section, she looked back up at him and spoke again in her high voice, "The doctor is waiting for you in her office and here is the file you need." One of the men extended his hand and took the folder before continuing through another door on the right.

As the door swung open a desk with chairs on either side appeared with yet another women sitting in one of the seats. She had red hair and sky blue eyes with creamed colored skin that looked even paler in her white doctor's suit. On her desk was a nameplate, papers here and there, a jar of pencils, and a file that was open with one of the contents between her small fingers. Her eyes her panning back and forth across the page and did so for a few minutes before she notice them standing there.

With a small smile she gestured towards the chair on the other side of her desk. One of the men let go of his arm while the other pulled him over to the chair and sat down bringing him into the chair next to him. The man finally let go of his arm, while the other remained by the door as if he were standing watch.

He allowed his focus to shift away from the man back to the woman sitting on the other side of the desk. She laid the paper she had been reading back down into the folder before looking at him and finally speaking.

"Hello Squall, its nice to meet you. I'm Doctor Megan Krueger, the head doctor of this facility. Welcome to The Oceans Shore." Her voice was low and soft but at the same time it was firm and commanding. He also found it rather presumptuous of her to assume that he found it a "pleasure" to meet her. Even with her warm greeting, he didn't answered and in the deep corner of his mind, he didn't feel inclined to. But despite his soundless reply, she continued with the same tone as before. "I've been reading up on your file. It seems you held a very high position before coming here. A headmaster at Balamb garden, huh? Quite interesting." He continued to stare at her as she paused and looked at him. She realized that he wasn't finding any of this interesting, seeing as it was his life and he already knew what his job had been.

After she picked up the piece of paper out of the manila folder again, he realized for the first time that there was another folder lying under what he assumed was his own. Pulling it out from under his, she opened it and looked at the paper lying on top before saying anything more.

"Well, enough idle talk." Squall resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Let's get right down to business. You are already aware of why you are here so now it's only a matter of getting you a room and a schedule." She began to flip through a pile of papers in his folder. After a few minutes, she pulled out a paper and put it across the desk. "This will be your schedule for the year. Each year you get a new one and you will be required to attend these class everyday except on Friday, Saturdays, Sundays, and Holidays." She sat back in her chair and pulled a tiny key out of her pocket. "This is the key to the room you will be sharing with another patient who is currently staying." At the word "patient" Squall almost shuddered. She tossed the key at him and he caught it between his gloved fingers. "Your roommate should be arriving shortly to show you to your room." Just as the words left her mouth, the women from the desk in front poked her head in the door.

"Excuse me Doctor, but she's here."

"Thank you Linda. Send her in." Dr. Krueger nodded her head and looked back at Squall. "Speak of the devil."

Squall heard the desk attendant's voice from outside, "You can go in, she has been expecting you." Then the door once again open and a much more interesting sight replaced it.

A tall woman with obsidian black hair and mysterious red eyes stood impatiently by the door as Dr. Krueger spoke to her. "What nice timing, why don't you join us?" The doctor jester towards the chair next to Squall and the girl hesitantly moved over to the chair and plopped down unceremoniously onto it. She crossed her arms over her chest, closed her eyes, and lowered her head with the obvious intention not to speak to anyone in the office.

Squall took this time to glace at her attire. She wore a pair of denim jean shorts, a light blue tang top, and white tennis shoes. She was also sporting a variety of jewelry; four rings, one bracelet, two earrings, three necklaces, and a watch.

He pulled his gaze from her and looked back at the doctor who was turned towards the girl and talking once again.

"We'll now that your both here, I think this would be a good time to announce that Squall will be sharing your living space with you." At these words that girls eyes snapped back open and her ruby orbs stared at the doctor. In an instance, a battle went between the two females, but a moment later the doctor once again broke the silence. "Can you…handle this?"

The girl closed her eyes again and breathed slow and even as if breathing was helping her to decide. But after a few seconds her eyes opened and a short nod followed.

Doctor Krueger smiled and stood from her seat as everyone else followed suit. "Good, then our time here is finished. Show Squall to his new room and work out your schedules. I took the liberty of arranging your class so that they match." The girl just stood there not saying a word or even uttering a sound for the entire "conversation", a conversion in which the doctor had been the only speaker.

Turning towards the door, the girl walked away from the desk and Squall trailed wordlessly behind as the doctor spoke before they disappeared. " I'm sure things will be different this time, Oni." When that last sentence reached Squall's ear he immediately began to wonder what she could have meant by that, but he let it go as he trailed behind the girl named Oni.

The elevator ride up to the ninth floor was in absolute silence, a loud, and deafening silence. Oni stepped off when the ding of the elevator echoed and she continued to walk straight down the hallway. 914, 915, 916. She stopped at the door labeled 917, pushed her door key into the slot, and opened the door.

Behind the worn white wood was a large room with two queen-sized beds separated by a curtain that was hung on a track. Oni stepped into the dark room and laid her key on the table next to the door. Squall slowly made his way through the threshold and pushed the door closed behind him assuming that she wanted it shut. Taking a few glances around, Squall could see a small kitchen off to the left and a door, which he assumed led to the bathroom, behind the beds. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could now make out the outline of his small suitcase that contained his few belongings. It was lying on the bed to the right of the curtain and he took this as a sign that this would be his bed.

As Squall took in the surroundings, Oni stood at the small kitchen counter, silently observing him.

He was taller than her by about three inches. Brown hair and sky blue eyes added to his appearance while a thin scar that went diagonally across the bridge of his nose made his face look handsome. There was no doubt he was strong and well built, but something in his expression made him look worn and tired, almost…empty.

(Like me.) Her thoughts added to her overall view of him. He didn't look like a person who would bother her that much, and maybe they would be able to put up with each other as long as they didn't have to do that much conversing. Perhaps, Dr. Krueger had been right, maybe this time it would be different.

With that thought running though her ever churning mind, Oni walked past Squall to the door, once again picked up the door key from the table, and waited for him to follow. Squall once again trailed her out the door and began another silent trek down the hallway.

Entering the elevator once again, Oni pushed the button for the third floor, and after a few seconds, the doors opened and they emerged. She led him down another hallway and stopped in front of a double door entryway with black letters across the front that read "Activity Center". Oni pushed the doors open and revealed a large room with tons of people running around. Some were playing cards; others were playing basketball, while some just sat in various places talking.

As Squall let his eyes scan the spacious room, he noticed a small girl sitting at one of the tables, get up and begin to walk towards them.

She smiled at them both and spoke in a clear cheerful voice, "Hi Oni. Did you come to play with us?" At the sound of Oni's name, every one near enough to hear turned around and either waved or smiled. Then, turned back around and continued whatever they had been doing.

Oni kneeled next to the small girl and put her hands on her shoulders, "No, not today Toki."

As she spoke, Squall realized that it was the first time he had ever heard her voice. It was a very quiet voice that was calm and smooth. To some extent, it could have been called emotionless, but at the same time, caring.

The small girl, named Toki, looked up at him through chocolate brown eyes and stared in wonder, "Is he the new one?" Oni stood up and looked at Squall through her crimson eyes before turning back to the small girl and nodding. Toki squealed in delight then bowed her head to Oni; "I'll take him for you now Oni." Oni nodded in return and walked away back through the double doors they had entered moments ago.

Squall looked back down at the girl who was still smiling up at him and gave her a questioning look.

Toki read his expression and answered almost immediately, "Don't worry, Oni's always like that. You'll get used to it. Now, follow me and I'll show you around. This is a big place you know and we can't have you getting lost." She turned around and began to walk, but stopped when she saw he wasn't following. "Well, come on."

Having no other option, Squall began to follow the child around the large building. She showed him the different levels, where the cafeteria was, and how to find his way from place to place. As she gave him the "grand tour", Squall found it quite amazing that a child this small could remember so many different places and features of such a large building. She couldn't be more than four or five, six at the most. And she knew so much about the many people who pasted them by that Squall found himself asking questions about his silent roommate.

Toki was glad to talk about Oni and seemed to know a lot about her. "Oni is liked by all the patients in this building; there isn't a single one that doesn't like her. To the younger ones like me, she's the big sister of us all and to the older ones, she's like the daughter they never had. She is just nice to everyone and doesn't ever complain when they ask her to do something."

"Well, from what I see, she doesn't seem to be on the best of terms with Dr. Krueger." Squall's observation of Oni's behavior towards the doctor was less than friendly. It was almost threatening.

"I said every patient likes her, that doesn't include the doctors. But think about it, would you like someone who is constantly trying to 'change you for the better' even if it means hurting you in the process? I certainly don't and I know Oni doesn't either." Toki's response was extremely well thought out, almost too well thought out for a child no more than six years old. "Oni does so much for us, almost too much sometimes and so many of us have tried to help her in some way, but unfortunately there is nothing we could do to save Oni." With Toki's statement she lowered her head in a state of mourning. What could have happened to her to make her so…cold; so helpless?

(Maybe the same thing that happened you.) Squall cringed at the thought of such a thing and it must have been that thought that drove him to ask his next question. "What happen?"

Suddenly, Toki stopped dead in her walk and slowly turned her head to look at him. Her eyes were full of hurt and pain as she quietly answered, "Only Oni can give you that answer, but if you want some of your other questions answered, you will have to go see Mollia." With that said, Toki continued her walk down the hallway of the tenth floor before speaking again. "Do you wish for me to take you there?"

"Who is Mollia?"

"Mollia is the oldest of all the patients within this building and is the only one who can give you answers to some of your questions. We call her mother, for she is the maternal figure of us all."

Squall looked down at Toki out of the corner of his eye and then looked back towards the elevator. "Take me."

Toki simply nodded, entered the elevator, and pressed the button for the twelfth floor. When the doors slide open she led him to the end of the hall where a black door stood among all the white ones around them. With a small knock Toki turned the door handle and pushed open the door.

Squall stepped through while Toki trailed behind him silently. The room they entered was dimly lit with wax candles and a velvet chair was set up in front of a fireplace with its back to them. He took a few more steps before a warm voice spoke out from the turned chair.

"Come child, I don't bite."

Squall slowly came to stand in front of the chair where a small old black woman sat contently cross-stitching what seemed to be a quilt of some kind. She had square glasses sitting on the end of her nose and a head of gray hair. She was small, no more the four foot five and had worn hands.

She smiled at them and looked over where Toki was standing with her tiny head bowed in respect. "Toki darling."

"Yes mother?"

"Why don't you go back to the Activity Room and play with your friends. I'll take care of our guest." Toki nodded and once again bowed her head before leaving Squall and Mollia alone.

The elderly woman looked at Squall and motioned towards the chair to her left before addressing him. "Have a seat young man and make yourself comfortable. I understand that there are some questions you have for me."

Squall was completely baffled at how she knew he had come with questions but sat down in the chair she had pointed out anyway. Mollia began to chuckle at his bewildered look and answered his silent question. "No, I can not see the future. I knew you were coming to ask questions because of probability. Almost all new comers are sent here on their first day with questions that only I can answer. Does that answer your question?"

Squall knitted his eyebrows and looked at the small lady through with amazement and Squall's thoughts agreed. (O' she's good.)

The woman chuckled again before continuing. "Well then my dear boy. Ask away."

"What is this place?"

"Good, you started with the most important question, but you failed to realize that it is also the most obvious." She paused and continued to cross-stitch her quilt. "This is what the professionals call a mental institution, but it is more commonly know among us as an insane asylum; or for the cruder ones, a nut house. It is a place where the "mentally ill" are sent to be…dealt with." Those words caused Squall to shiver and Mollia respectfully gave him a second to calm himself before continuing. "Yet, who is to be the judge of who is "mentally ill" and just different? Personally I don't think such a title should be given to anyone, but I guess that isn't my decision. Anyway, next question."

Squall debated for a minute on whether to ask his originally planned question or ask something else as not to arouse this wise woman's suspicion. But after a few moments he decided to ask anyway, besides she was his roommate. "What's wrong with Oni?"

Mollia's eyes lifted from her quilt at his question and there was an uneasy silence in the room before she answered. "It depends on what you mean by 'wrong'. Do you mean it in the sense of something that is physically harmful or mentally out of place?"

"Neither. I meant personality wise, or should I say lack of." Squall immediately regretted having said those words when he saw the pain in Mollia's eyes. "Excuse my rudeness, I didn't mean it that way."

"No, I'm afraid you do have a point young man. Oni is not like the rest of us, even in a mental sense. She lacks basic emotions that are usually the source of mental instability, but at the same time, she is still able to care for all the patients of this building. It is a sad but true reality for those who once saw her as you would see any other child but that was before the incident." Mollia's voice was soft and sad as see spoke of Oni. It was almost as if she really was speaking about her dearest daughter.

"Incident? What incident?" Squall's curiosity was perked and the need to know about his new roommate was unexpectedly high, but known the less he wished to know.

Mollia shook her head slowly and stared into the orange flames of the fire before her. "That is even a question, I can not answer. There is only one person who can retell those events to you and that person is Oni. Only she is qualified to answer such a question.

"You can not tell me anything? Nothing at all?" He had no idea why he was pushing this subject so far but something kept him wanting to know.

"What is your name child?"

After a moment he replied, "…Squall."

"Well Squall, there is something I can tell you, but you must listen closely." The old woman stopped her cross-stitching and stared at the flames with a calm expression before continuing in a low voice. "This place has been my home for over fifty years. In this time I have seen it all. Every mental case, every excuse, every story, but in all my time, I have only met one person who could turn disorder, chaos, and misunderstanding into unity, order, and reasoning. That person is Oni. She is able to do all these things for us, but inside Oni suffers. On the outside she seems to be a calm, silent woman with little personality. But the truth is Oni fights a battle within herself. A battle between what, we do not know, but we do know that it is a battle that must be won in her mind." Squall frowned at the elder's words, but allowed her to continue, "Through the short time she has been here, many people have tried to help her, but all have failed. It is thought that no one can help her, that no one can find the key that will free her from her cage."

Mollia stopped her explaining and looked back over at Squall who was quite confused. "What do you mean?"

For a long moment, neither one spoke, but Mollia broke the silence again. "You see the engraving over the mantle there?" Squall turned his head to look at the gold plaque that hung on the wall. "Oni made that for me. It's a poem she wrote when she turned fifteen. I liked it so much that I told her to make that so I could read it everyday. Yet, it is slightly ironic that it is the same poem that she named herself after."

Squall looked back at Mollia before asking, "What does it say?"

Mollia closed her eyes and in a small voice she quoted the poem, but as the words left her mouth, it was not Mollia's voice that Squall heard, it was Oni's calm, emotionless voice.

Come into this world that's silent,

A world that is unfair and violent.

Hidden pain and dried up tears,

A place that born of all our fears.

Emptiness fills up this place,

We whither in our own disgrace.

This is where all evil will hide,

And where we live on nothing inside.

Mollia opened her eyes and whispered to Squall through the dim light, "I could say it in my sleep." Squall stared at the floor upon which his chair was set. How could someone who seemed to have no emotion write something so…deep? But before Squall could ask another question, Mollia spoke. "This is all the time we have I'm afraid. Classes are about to begin and you mustn't miss you first day." She began to cross-stitch again but Squall still had one question that needed answering.

"You said the Oni named herself after that poem. But Oni is not spelled in any of those words. How did she get Oni?"

For a long time Mollia didn't answer and Squall began to walk away assuming she wouldn't, but as he went to walk to the door her voice came to him again. "Most people think that Oni is spelled O-n-y, but in fact, it is spelled O-n-i. Now tell me, what were the last three word of her poem?"

Squall thought for a moment then replied, "On nothing inside………wait, Oni stands for 'on nothing inside' doesn't it. "

Mollia slowly nodded her head and once again continued to cross-stitch. "Goodbye Squall, I wouldn't want you do be late."

Nodding, Squall pushed open the door and walked towards the elevator. Once inside, he pushed the button for the ninth floor and with the elevator's hum in the background, Oni's poem played itself again and again in his find. And even as the doors slide open and he walked down the hall his find was still in Mollia's room hearing that poem. And as he stood before room 917, he was unable to shake the three words that had become imprinted on the back of his mind.

"On nothing inside…"