Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Beyond Saffron ❯ Beyond Saffron ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer- I do not own anything remotely related to Furuba sans this fic. ^^;

A/N: Ayame's POV. It's so easy to pass Ayame off as annoying and silly, and that's why I wrote this. I don't really have anything else planned for this except to be a simple exploration of Ayame's personality. Why he is like he is, and why he did what he did. C&C is greatly appreciated, and so is your time in reading this. ^_^ (You probably won't understand this unless you've seen Fruits Basket)

Beyond Saffron

By d2

I'm so, so sorry.

I never meant to be so cruel to him; I was happy enough when he was born, and happier still when I learnt he was of the Jyunishi. He was my brother, and I loved him dearly. And I thought that maybe, just maybe, he could save me.

Yeah, I was different back then. I was just the snake; 6th member of the Jyunishi. Just odd enough to be avoided, and normal enough not to stand out. Most people, my mother and father included, did not despise me.

No, they simply never acknowledged me.

My own personality at the time did not help any, either. I was actually a rather quiet boy, distant and truthfully, rather dense. I spent most of my time pretending I wasn't alone, because I never thought to do anything about it.

I had only two friends; Hatori and Shigure, but they were good friends. And with the birth of Yuki, I was convinced things could only get better.

Things really don't often turn out as I hope, and that was true as well back then.

It seemed that the older Yuki became, the more insignificant I became. I was known only as "Yuki's brother", because everyone forgot my name. I got so tired of this; as if all I was worth was how close my connection with wonderful, adorable "Yuki-sama" was.

So I, in turn, ignored him. I wanted him once to feel what it was like to be uncared for, despised. I hated him, and wanted to channel all my hurt, my loneliness onto him. I wanted him to suffer just as I had, for he was the cruel mouse, and he deserved it.

I became loud and boisterous, irritatingly silly and outrageous. I would make them know who Ayame Souma was. I would make them know my name. And they did.

I only once questioned my reasoning. For that, I have Ritsu to thank.

Yes, Ri-chan, the little boy who dressed as a girl. The little boy who seemingly had no special talents, and who most of the Souma family didn't have a very high opinion of.

He was their scapegoat, the brunt of their cruel jokes and their hate. His mother and father, who were very timid creatures already by nature, were forced to apologize for all their worth in order to remain in Akito's good humor.

However, for all his pain, Ritsu was something to them. Everyone knew his name; everyone looked at him on New Years.

For once, I thought that maybe it wasn't Yuki's fault. Maybe he was unhappy too. And cue the guilt.

By now it was too late, though. He hated me with all his being, and I did not blame him. He was just a child, who had done nothing to me short of being born. And I hated him for it; ignored him for it.

So I avoided him, and he avoided me. And whenever I tried to apologize, whenever I tried to make things better between us, he would cut me down with his words. It was nothing short of what I deserved; it was even better than I deserved.

I never told him any of this... I never told anyone any of this. I can't. Bringing up my past would also bring up things others did to me that they would rather forget. And things I did to them that would also rather be forgotten.

And also partly because if I told him, I didn't think I'd ever be able to stop crying.

So I smiled and went on my way… smiled, because I didn't deserve to cry.