Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Equivalent Trade: When Alchemy Goes Terribly Wrong ❯ Chapter Eight ( Chapter 8 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Equivalent Trade: When Alchemy Goes Terribly Wrong

By Phoenix Hoshika

Chapter Eight


It had taken them a little while but they had finally made it to Central. What the siblings were going to do next had not yet been decided, as far as Edward was concerned. When they arrived in the city it was early afternoon and Edward was still not quite ready to face anyone in the military particularly the Flame Alchemist Colonel Roy Mustang. How would he explain his sudden change of gender?

"I've always been a woman!" Edward imagined himself declaring, but he knew he could never make such a statement without it sounding like an obvious lie. "It was an accident!" No way Edward would admit to that and reveal that he had performed another botched human transmutation to that bastard. No way! "They did this to me! Damn those bastards!" Edward imagined himself saying as he produced tears that were half fake and half real. Yeah, they'd buy that, after all the military had lost contact with him shortly after he entered the catacombs. He could say that he had successfully returned Alphonse to his true body, but was kidnapped and used as a guinea pig in horrifying experiments of alchemy. That rat bastard colonel wouldn't dare make fun of him then and he had to admit it did seem like a pretty good cover.

"Hehe." Edward chuckled drawing his brother's attention.

"What's so funny?" Alphonse asked as they walked along to the nearest hotel.

"Nothing," Edward said not turning to face his brother. Alphonse hardly ever got his sense of humor and truth be told Edward was wondering if he even had a sense of humor at all. Alphonse was hardly ever seen with out a smile or at least a content expression on his face, but whenever Edward attempted to crack a joke a blank look came over the boy's face as if Edward just told him someone had died.

"How are you feeling?" Alphonse asked for the tenth time that day.

"I'm fine quit asking me that. If I pass out again then you'll know I'm not fine." Edward said annoyed at his younger brother's constant questioning; how are you feeling, do you need to rest, are you hungry, are you thirsty? Alphonse was behaving more like a worried mother than a little brother and this irritated Edward to no end.

During the train ride to Central Edward had fainted again. At first Alphonse thought he had just fallen asleep when his brother's head fell over on his shoulder, but it soon became clear that his sibling was not in any normal state of sleep. "Why doesn't he tell me what's wrong?" Alphonse wondered. "Is it that bad? Then wouldn't that be all the more reason to tell me what's going on?"



Once checked into a room Edward instructed Alphonse to wait in there for him while he went to ruin some kind of secret errand, no doubt a run to the pharmacy to purchase medicine for his mysterious illness is what Alphonse suspected. He just hoped his brother didn't pass out again. Having nothing to do or rather not being able to do much since he told Edward he would wait for him to return he busied himself by taking a shower and washing the clothes he was wearing by hand. Not wanting to wait for them to dry he clapped his hands together using alchemy to heat up the air and dry the cloths. The room quickly filled up with steam causing his hair to frizz up. Perhaps that wasn't such a good idea. After putting on the now dry cloths Alphonse opened a window. People on the street below noticed the clouds of steam and mistook them for smoke. After that it didn't take long for hotel staff to come barging in fire extinguishers in hand.

"Steam?" One of the staff said immediately feeling the dampness in the atmosphere of the room.

"Eh, sorry about that." Alphonse apologized to the man pretending to have just gotten out of the shower. He had quickly undressed and had a towel tied around his waist. He didn't want to have to explain how he was an alchemist. Though such a thing would have more than likely went unnoticed it still could have raised the militaries suspicions and draw unwanted attention to Edward. "I guess I used too much hot water." He said sheepishly.

"Oh, well thank goodness then!" the man said lowering his fire extinguisher. "People from the street reported smoke coming from one of the rooms. I'm just glad it was a misunderstanding. Just try not to boil yourself in here young man." The man laughed as he turned to exit the room. "Come along Julia." He said to a woman holding an extinguisher that was obviously a subordinate. At the moment Juilia was too busy staring. When the steam cleared a bit more Alphonse was able to see the young woman and his heart jumped in his throat.

"Come along Juilia!" The man said once again with more force as he locked arms with the woman and dragged her from the room. "Enjoy your stay." The man said as he closed the door.

While extremely conservative in dress Edward may not have had too much of an issue with being stripped down to his boxes in public nor running around Pinnako's property half naked, but Alphonse was very particular about people seeing him less than fully clothed and was currently trying to keep his heart from pounding from the utter terror of knowing that a woman had saw him in nothing but a towel. Maybe he should have considered that as a possibility before acting on his great idea, but there was no time to give the plan that much thought. Sitting on the bed Alphonse started to comb his hair down and carefully braided it to keep it from frizzing up again.



When Edward returned the room was steam free and Alphonse was fully dressed coat and all. "What took you so long?" Alphonse lightly demanded.

"Why? Were you in a hurry to go someplace?" Edward asked. Alphonse was hardly ever in a hurry to do anything. Edward was the one usually rushing about.

"Well, no I was just tired of waiting on you." Alphonse said not stating the full truth.

"Haha, well cheer up; I bought something for you." Edward said with a huge grin on his face as he placed a shopping back beside his brother who looked at it wearily. "Go on, I didn't get you anything for your birthday since we were you know, trapped in that hell whole those people call a city."

"Thank you." Alphonse said reaching into the bag. Alphonse sweat dropped when saw what his brother had given him; a red coat identical to his own complete with a black button down shirt and black pants. "Brother…" Alphonse started at a lose for words. Since when have they ever dressed alike?

"Cool, huh?" Edward said as he walked over too Alphonse and gave him a bear hug.

"Yeah, thanks." Alphonse said not wanting to seem ungrateful. Truth was while he did admire his brother he never once wanted to dress like him.

"Go ahead and put 'em on!" Edward coaxed. "Aren't you sick of running around in those oversized clothes anyway?" He said pointing at Alphonse's current attire, a pair of brown pants and a white button down shirt with matching brown coat. While taller than Edward Alphonse was still on the short side himself and Brawly's never ending supply of white shirts and brown trousers hung rather loosely on the boy's small, thin frame.

Alphonse had taken off the coat and unbuttoned his shirt when he suddenly started feeling uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?" Edward questioned giving his brother a quizzical look.

"Why am I all of a sudden conscious of the fact my brother is now a girl?" Alphonse thought as he shook his head. "Nothing, I guess I'm just hungry he said hurriedly undressing and dressing in the clothes given to him as a birthday present. To his surprise the clothes actually suited him.

"Yeah! Now we look like a team!" Edward said hanging on Alphonse's shoulder as he looked in the mirror and give a thumbs up.



Early the next morning Edward marched over to military headquarters to report to Mustang. He was finally ready to face him and give a heart wrenching performance as he explained how he was experimented on and left in his current condition.

"What do you mean he's not here!?" Edward demanded as he yelled at the receptionist at the front desk.

"I'm sorry Miss, but Brigadier General Mustang is at East Headquarters." The woman said keeping her composure even though she wanted to tell Edward off, but since he outranked her she held her tongue.

"What did you say?" Edward hissed.

"Brigadier General Mustang-"

"No $%@# Way!" Edward said his mouth nearly hitting the floor. "How did that bastard get another promotion?" Edward wondered as he walked hunched over out of the building.

"Stop that!" Edward chastised snatching a small back of sunflower seeds from his brother and stuffing it his coat pocket when he found him sitting on the stairs feeding pigeons.

"Brother!" Alphonse uttered in surprise.

"Stop giving food to vermin! Shoo!" Edward roared chasing the birds away. "Get lost you disease ridden little bastards!"

"Are you ok, Ed?" Alphonse asked standing up.

"No, I'm not okay! That thing just got promoted to Brigadier!" Edward boomed.

"We should congratulate him them." Alphonse said nonchalantly.

"The hell we are!" Edward fumed as he stomped down the stairs. "I'm hungry, let's go eat."

"What about you're report?"

"He isn't here."

"Wha-?"

"He's in East City so I guess will head there later on today.

Alphonse's eyes popped open as if Edward had said something utterly wrong.

"You comin'?" Edward asked when he looked back and saw his brother still in the same spot he found him in.

"No I'm not really hungry right now. I think I'll go take a look around."

"Fine, suit yourself." Edward mumbled as he walked off.

Once Edward was out of site Alphonse immediately went inside the military building.



After eating so much he gave himself a tummy ache Edward wearily made his way back to the hotel and went to sleep. It was twelve thirty in the afternoon when he finally begin to stir. At the same time Alphonse just so happened to be making his way back to their room with an utterly pleased look on his face.

"What you smilin' about?" Edward asked suspicious.

"I'm just happy." Alphonse replied sitting down on his bed.

"You better not have picked up another stray animal." Edward growled.

"No, I didn't." Alphonse said looking over his shoulder then turning back around. "We should get something to eat."

"I had a big breakfast, I'm not hungry." Edward replied walking over and sitting down behind his brother.

"Hey!" Alphonse exclaimed when he suddenly felt Edward's hands groping about his body.

"Where is? I know you have one!" Edward shouted.

"I told you didn't pick up any animals today." Alphonse snapped as he struggled to get away from Edward.

"Then what are you hiding?"

"Get off of me! What's wrong with you, Ed?"

"My only living relative is lying to me, that's what!" Edward said tightening the vice grip he had put on Alphonse as he attempting to flip him over, but maneuver backfired and they both ended up on the floor. Edward had landed on top of Alphonse knocking the wind out of him and apparently had done a bit more damage than just that judging by the way his eyes were swirling around in his head. Now rendered completely helpless Edward was going to take full advantage of the situation and find out what Alphonse was trying so desperately to hide from him.

"Room service," said the cheerful voice of the hotel maid as she pushed her cleaning cart into the room. When she looked upon what seemed like an intimate moment being interrupted by her barging in she apologetically and quickly excused herself from the room.

"It's not like that!" Edward shouted as he dashed out into the hallway. "Get back here and do your job!" He shouted again to no avail. "Awe, damn it!" He cursed scratching his head in frustration as he went back into the room. Alphonse was just recovering from the monster tackle when Edward's signature screaming pierced his ears.

"PULL IT TOGETHER, WE'RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!" Grabbing Alphonse by the wrist he quickly paid for the stay at the front desk then hightailed it to the station in order to be five hours early the next train headed to East City that afternoon.



"Why do we have to be here so early?" Alphonse complained halfheartedly as they aimlessly roamed the train station. He wasn't found of the idea of staying in the hotel a moment longer either, but for a completely different reason (he was too dazed to realize the current embarrassing situation Edward had gotten them into).

"You're acting strange." Edward said airily. Alphonse had never been one to voice complaints too often, except when it came to Edward sleeping with his stomach exposed.

"Hm, maybe I need a nap." Alphonse said out loud. The truth was he was hoping to confront Edward in private as to why he was constantly passing out, now that they were in a bustling train station all hopes of that were lost and Alphonse had somewhat lost his nerve to ask. Once the train to East City finally arrived and was ready for boarding the siblings found an empty car, as was their custom, and sat down- Edward rather laid down as was his custom. Looking over at his brother's relaxing as best he could on the hard wood seat Alphonse sighed thinking that maybe it would be best to let Edward tell him in his own time.



The train came to a jolting halt once it reached East City waking Edward from his slumber. Wanting to believe that everything that had taken place up to that point was nothing more than a twisted dream he kept his eyes closed waiting for it to end. He and Alphonse were both in their proper bodies and he was most definitely not wearing women's underwear, but the well supported weight on his chest said otherwise. "This isn't the body I was born in." Edward thought as a heavily cloud of depression suddenly overtook him.

"Brother, here's our stop." Alphonse said gently shaking him.

"Yeah." Edward slurred getting up and draping the coat over his back he had been using as a pillow. He did after all rush all the way to East City to report to Mustang so he could start his research on bio-alchemy without that Flaming General on his mind.

The siblings walked in silence as the exited the train station. The late after afternoon sun hung low in the sky glinting off the fresh wax job on the limousine that passed them as they walked. One of the back windows was down and Alphonse couldn't help but feel that who ever was behind that window was watching him. Following the limo with his eyes until it rounded a corner Alphonse didn't notice a group of large, muscular roughnecks approaching them. Edward had continued walking not paying anything any attention until the would-be bandits blocked his path.

"Excuse me." Edward said in a humdrum tone not even looking up to make eye contact.

"Hey you're kind of cute." The tallest of the thugs said with a wide smile revealing missing teeth that were more than likely knocked out during a fight. He proudly showed off his hairy muscular arms and chest muscles by wearing a tight faded purple t-shirt and a pair of almost equally tight blue jeans. The thug also wore a blue bandana over a scalp full of dirty hair. If he had on an eye path it was more than certain he'd be mistaken for a pirate.

"Uh-oh." Alphonse thought keeping his distance as he was certain there was going to be a throw down and he didn't want to get hit by any flying bodies.

"Hey, why don't you come with us?" The thug offered still smiling.

"Fine." Edward moaned in the same half dead tone of voice he used before. Grinning the man grabbed him by the wrist and proceeded to walk off, but before he could even move a step he felt a hard whack on the back of hand and out of reflex he let go of Edward's wrist.

"You aren't taking this person anywhere." Alphonse said sternly as he stood protectively in front of his brother.

"Al?" Edward murmured as if slowly coming out of a dream.

"The lady said she wanted to come with me! Out of the way pipsqueak!" The man said knocking Alphonse to the side and violently grabbing Edward by the wrist again who's eyes grew five times their normal size, but before he could carry the dazed and confused teenager away he found himself sprawled on the ground after receiving a powerful blow to the head which incidentally knocked out another one of his teeth. Alphonse had delivered a powerful high kick to the thugs head. Usually there was no need to get violent since his overbearing size and glowing eyes were more enough to stop anyone or anything in their tracks when he told them to leave his brother alone, but Alphonse was no longer contained with a monstrous suit of armor that could easily intimidate people and animals alike. Alphonse was in his rightful body which appeared to be more frail than it actually was.

"Brother! Were you really going to go with them?" Alphonse asked concerned. Edward just looked at him as if in a trance. "Brother, snap out of it!" Alphonse pleaded shaking him.

"Hey, kid did you say 'brother'?" One of the four other thugs asked, he too also had missing teeth.

"Yes, why do you want to know?" Alphonse said putting on his fight face.

The other three mummered amongst themselves in utter disbelief and the man on the ground turned to stone. "So you mean those are fake?" The second thug asked curiously in reference to Edward's chest.

An evil look came over Alphonse's face for split second before he replied. "No, they're real." He confirmed casually.

"Then that's really your sister!" The thug said accusingly.

"No, he is my brother."

"Then you mean that person has both?" The thug asked quivering as if he were afraid.

"Yes, but please don't tell anybody." Alphonse requested with false pleading eyes.

"Boss, pull it together. We're out of here!" The only vocal thug said grabbing the man on the ground by the neck of his shirt and hauling him away at the speed of light.

Alphonse sighed before turning to his brother with an angry expression on his face. He wanted to punch Edward square in the jaw and make him snap out of it with a good hit or two, but taking in the expression on Edward's face Alphonse knew his special brand of tough love wouldn't work on him this time except to make an already bad situation worse.

"Al, I really am a freak aren't I?" Edward questioned as tears begin to fall from his eyes. "I hate this! I hate being like this! I don't even know if I can reverse it. I might end up spending my entire life in this body." Edward said as he kept his arms tightly clenched around his body as it violent trembled. Reaching out Alphonse wrapped his arms around Edward who begin to openly wail. The streets had filled up considerably since the siblings' encounter with the gang and people were not able to go about their business without staring. Closing his eyes Alphonse pulled Edward closer.

"It will be okay. You can make it through this. We'll figure out a way to get your body back." Alphonse whispered into his brother's ear and though filled with determination the words had little effect on Edward's current state of mind.

"You really are stronger than I am. I don't know how you did it living in that tin can for five years, but you did. I can't even remember you complaining, not once and here I am falling to pieces. At least I'm in a human body. I'm glad you have faith in me because right now that only makes one of us." Edward thought as he unfolded his arms and hugged Alphonse back.



~*~ To Be Continued ~*~



Author's Note; As promised answers to questions.



Directly quoting Chemical Love- "Is the story set on Earth or does FMA in anohter realitiy."

Answer: Hmm, okay I think I get what you're trying to ask here so let me respond;

This story takes place in the Hagaren world not Earth and no, it's not an alternate universe fic. I'm sorry for not being specific about where they are early on, that's mainly because I don't have a good map of the Hagaren world, but I imagine they started their journey back to central on the western outskirts of Ametris (otherwise Al would not have been able to use Ed's gold pocket watch to make purchases in Basken). I have no clue what towns and things exist in that area so I made up some places for them to be; the scary wilderness of open fields and forests, Farmland, and Basken.



And here's another that I found in my review section from Ellen Tee; "PS, have you read Ranma 1/2, any chance?"

Answer: First I want to say thank you; I'm glad you think my Hagaren fan fiction isn't just another piece of perversion floating around on the internet (hopefully later chapters won't make you change your mind). Now to answer your question yes, I read few volumes, but found that I liked the anime more. LOL Nudity abounds, but in no way does it come off as pornographic. I think Ranma is probably the only anime that has a lot of nudity that isn't hentai. Even so, I wouldn't recommend this anime to everyone- not everyone can handle Ranma. While I enjoyed Ranma1/2 very much in no way is this story based on it.



What inspired this story?

A particular something in Arakawasan's manga inspired the title… and some absolutely horrifying things I saw while looking for some cool Hagaren pics on the web that got me thinking "what if Ed really were a girl? What would he do if he were transformed into a full fledged woman through and through?" inspired the story.