Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Hagane no Renkinjutsushi - Summarized ❯ Episode 13 - Honou vs. Hagane ( Chapter 13 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kinslayer 
Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 03.27.2005 | Updated On: 04.20.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 862 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 03.27.2005 | Updated On: 04.20.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 862 | Status: Completed
Edward: You know, I called East City dusty three episodes ago, but it rains almost continually the whole time we're here ...
Alphonse: Hey Nii-san, show me your Colonel Mustang impression!
Edward: Sure! He wiggles his ass just like this ...
Alphonse: ...
Edward: Oh well, let's go in. Hey Al, what are you doing?
Alphonse: Nothing, just picking up some pussy.
*Opening credits*
*Title card: Flame vs. Fullmetal*
Breda: Could someone get me a kleenex? I have a huge loogie hanging out my nose.
Fury: As short as I look in this scene, we'll see in Episode 36 that I'm still taller than Edward.
Hawkeye: Let's all talk about the dog. We have nothing better to do anyway.
Edward: The title character is here, you all can stop your yapping about the dog now.
Havoc: Thank goodness.
Edward: Although I technically outrank you, Lieutenant, I'll salute you anyway. But I'll do it with my left hand, just for kickers.
*in the hallway*
Edward: We can't take care of any animals. We can barely take care of ourselves. Note that I am petting the cat with my LEFT hand. Now go put it back where you found it.
Alphonse: I thought that I'd forgotten how to throw a temper tantrum, but I guess it's like riding a bike.
Edward: Just in case you thought this episode was going to be all comedy, I'll throw in this angsty little flashback to when I was cute and cross-eyed. Oh, no, Colonel, I wasn't daydreaming in your office!
Mustang: Make sure the audience gets a good look at my spacious office and comfortable couches. The fanfic writers will eat this up.
Edward: Don't bitch about Lior, you told me to go to Lior.
Mustang: I didn't tell you to make the high priest lose his followers.
Edward: Well ... you didn't tell me NOT to do that either! Now East City will rule Lior. Hey, don't tell me that you planned that from the start!
Mustang: Okay, I won't tell you that. But I will tell you that I know all about what you didn't write about in this report. The fanfic writers will eat this up too.
Edward: I'm not blushing because I finally realized that Clara was hot on me or anything.
Mustang: Fullmetal, why don't you settle down for awhile? Stay in East City, put that mouth to good use ...
Edward: You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Mustang: Trust me, I'm not the only one! You haven't found the Philosopher's Stone yet, and it's been three years.
Edward: ... three years isn't that long of a time, you know. This thing is frickin' legendary, you don't just run down to the corner 7-11 and pick one up. And look, I learned how to bow, and how to call you by your title instead of "Hey you motherfucker." So it wasn't all time wasted. By the way, feed me some exposition about Marcoh so we can advance the plot.
Mustang: No. No exposition for you!
Edward: Dammit!
Gran: Hi, remember me! As of today, we'll be making this office into a temporary Central HQ. So make sure you clean up the condoms before you vacate.
Edward: Note that I do not salute, do not greet the leader of my nation, in fact I just kind of stand here and nobody notices me as I stare at the Daisotou's secretary. I knew this stealth jacket would be a good investment!
*later*
Havoc: Check out all those silver chains.
Breda: Stop staring at the State Alchemists' asses!
Havoc: Be quiet and give your cabbage lines.
Hughes: Hey there, Ed, remember me?
Edward: Sure, how could I forget a running joke? By the way, how about some exposition?
Hughes: Sure! Oh wait ... I shouldn't be giving you exposition ...
Edward: Dammit! Who does a guy have to kill to get some exposition in this place??
Gran: I've got some for you!
Hughes: Brigadier General Gran ...
Edward: The Iron Blood Alchemist ... both of these lines were for the cabbages in the audience.
Gran: Have some exposition. It may seem like it's only barely related, but hey, take what you can get.
Mustang: No! No exposition for you! Not even when you brought these lovely lavender flowers for me.
Edward: These BOOKS don't even have any exposition! I guess I need to beat the shit out of the Colonel!
Hughes: Oh, I forgot to tell you something.
Edward: IT HAD BETTER BE EXPOSITION!
Hughes: Damn, why didn't someone remind me that Ed could be a violent little bastard? Anyway, no, it's not exposition, but it IS plot-related. We're going to do your assessment here.
Alphonse: My turn for a cabbage-line!
Edward: Oh good, a chance to baste in my own testosterone!
*commercial break*
Havoc: It's nice that we have time to just sit around and shoot the breeze about the alchemists in the unit.
Breda: Isn't it though?
Edward: Although they said earlier that animals aren't allowed in the dorms, that rule doesn't really apply to us.
Mustang: Hey guys, my ears were burning, thought I'd come check it out and entertain you with a display of my closet insanity.
Havoc: Hey Colonel, are you really going to fight Edward?
Mustang: No.
*in Mustang's office*
Bradley: Yes you are.
*in the hallway*
Mustang: I guess I am. Oh well, this sucks. Things won't be this way when I'M the Daisotou!
Havoc: Why do you want to be Daisotou anyway?
Mustang: My goal isn't really to make all the chicks wear mini-skirts. That will just be a perk! Err ... Havoc? Are you planning to give me a blow job or hump my leg?
*on the parade ground*
Hughes: You pedophiles in the audience should LOVE this giant billboard featuring my three-year-old daughter!
Crowd: Not a problem, we brought the entire base supply of toilet plungers out with us.
Edward: Nothing like having the entire military laugh at me ... Maybe this wasn't such a hot idea. Nevermind! I'm going to get back at that Colonel this time! He made me DO STUFF for him! How dare he!
Hughes: Okay ... *runs away* Fight!
Edward: What? Now?? I must have left my wits back in the dorm ...
Mustang: I didn't! Watch me pose as my brand of alchemy is explained to you. The white sparkles mean that I'm sexy!
Edward: Okay, this is seeming less and less like a good idea ...
Mustang: I'll do you a favor and give you lessons on how to more efficiently fight while I'm putting your future fertility in question.
Edward: Wow, I'm real fast with the automail transmutation all of a sudden ...
Mustang: Thanks for just sitting there on your giant weapon instead of firing it. Weren't you listening when I said something about "ending it quickly" just a moment ago?
Edward: ... no.
Mustang: Just my luck to have a flashback right now. Damn that post-traumatic stress disorder!
Edward: Oh, there are my wits. Have a blade at your throat, Colonel!
*later*
Edward: Have I earned some friggin' exposition yet?
Mustang: ... maybe a little. Let me tell you about Ishbal.
Edward: I don't want to hear about Ishbal! I want to hear about Marcoh!
Mustang: Oh, very well. Damn, you're persistent.
*in the office*
Hawkeye: Let's finish this stupid dog thing once and for all. With a gun.
*in the bar*
Hughes: Time for some exposition about Lior.
Mustang: Damn, that sucks.
Hughes: Let's have Ed look into it again.
Mustang: Nah, he needs to work for his exposition.
*outside*
Edward: Instead of providing this cat with food or actual shelter, I'll make ... a baby buggy for it.
Alphonse: Brilliant thinking, Nii-san!
*back in the bar*
Mustang: So why is everybody here?
Hughes: There's a serial killer of State Alchemists in Central. We're hoping that he's too stupid to know how to read a train schedule.
Scar: No such luck! I AM THE GREATEST!
Alphonse: Hey Nii-san, show me your Colonel Mustang impression!
Edward: Sure! He wiggles his ass just like this ...
Alphonse: ...
Edward: Oh well, let's go in. Hey Al, what are you doing?
Alphonse: Nothing, just picking up some pussy.
*Opening credits*
*Title card: Flame vs. Fullmetal*
Breda: Could someone get me a kleenex? I have a huge loogie hanging out my nose.
Fury: As short as I look in this scene, we'll see in Episode 36 that I'm still taller than Edward.
Hawkeye: Let's all talk about the dog. We have nothing better to do anyway.
Edward: The title character is here, you all can stop your yapping about the dog now.
Havoc: Thank goodness.
Edward: Although I technically outrank you, Lieutenant, I'll salute you anyway. But I'll do it with my left hand, just for kickers.
*in the hallway*
Edward: We can't take care of any animals. We can barely take care of ourselves. Note that I am petting the cat with my LEFT hand. Now go put it back where you found it.
Alphonse: I thought that I'd forgotten how to throw a temper tantrum, but I guess it's like riding a bike.
Edward: Just in case you thought this episode was going to be all comedy, I'll throw in this angsty little flashback to when I was cute and cross-eyed. Oh, no, Colonel, I wasn't daydreaming in your office!
Mustang: Make sure the audience gets a good look at my spacious office and comfortable couches. The fanfic writers will eat this up.
Edward: Don't bitch about Lior, you told me to go to Lior.
Mustang: I didn't tell you to make the high priest lose his followers.
Edward: Well ... you didn't tell me NOT to do that either! Now East City will rule Lior. Hey, don't tell me that you planned that from the start!
Mustang: Okay, I won't tell you that. But I will tell you that I know all about what you didn't write about in this report. The fanfic writers will eat this up too.
Edward: I'm not blushing because I finally realized that Clara was hot on me or anything.
Mustang: Fullmetal, why don't you settle down for awhile? Stay in East City, put that mouth to good use ...
Edward: You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Mustang: Trust me, I'm not the only one! You haven't found the Philosopher's Stone yet, and it's been three years.
Edward: ... three years isn't that long of a time, you know. This thing is frickin' legendary, you don't just run down to the corner 7-11 and pick one up. And look, I learned how to bow, and how to call you by your title instead of "Hey you motherfucker." So it wasn't all time wasted. By the way, feed me some exposition about Marcoh so we can advance the plot.
Mustang: No. No exposition for you!
Edward: Dammit!
Gran: Hi, remember me! As of today, we'll be making this office into a temporary Central HQ. So make sure you clean up the condoms before you vacate.
Edward: Note that I do not salute, do not greet the leader of my nation, in fact I just kind of stand here and nobody notices me as I stare at the Daisotou's secretary. I knew this stealth jacket would be a good investment!
*later*
Havoc: Check out all those silver chains.
Breda: Stop staring at the State Alchemists' asses!
Havoc: Be quiet and give your cabbage lines.
Hughes: Hey there, Ed, remember me?
Edward: Sure, how could I forget a running joke? By the way, how about some exposition?
Hughes: Sure! Oh wait ... I shouldn't be giving you exposition ...
Edward: Dammit! Who does a guy have to kill to get some exposition in this place??
Gran: I've got some for you!
Hughes: Brigadier General Gran ...
Edward: The Iron Blood Alchemist ... both of these lines were for the cabbages in the audience.
Gran: Have some exposition. It may seem like it's only barely related, but hey, take what you can get.
Mustang: No! No exposition for you! Not even when you brought these lovely lavender flowers for me.
Edward: These BOOKS don't even have any exposition! I guess I need to beat the shit out of the Colonel!
Hughes: Oh, I forgot to tell you something.
Edward: IT HAD BETTER BE EXPOSITION!
Hughes: Damn, why didn't someone remind me that Ed could be a violent little bastard? Anyway, no, it's not exposition, but it IS plot-related. We're going to do your assessment here.
Alphonse: My turn for a cabbage-line!
Edward: Oh good, a chance to baste in my own testosterone!
*commercial break*
Havoc: It's nice that we have time to just sit around and shoot the breeze about the alchemists in the unit.
Breda: Isn't it though?
Edward: Although they said earlier that animals aren't allowed in the dorms, that rule doesn't really apply to us.
Mustang: Hey guys, my ears were burning, thought I'd come check it out and entertain you with a display of my closet insanity.
Havoc: Hey Colonel, are you really going to fight Edward?
Mustang: No.
*in Mustang's office*
Bradley: Yes you are.
*in the hallway*
Mustang: I guess I am. Oh well, this sucks. Things won't be this way when I'M the Daisotou!
Havoc: Why do you want to be Daisotou anyway?
Mustang: My goal isn't really to make all the chicks wear mini-skirts. That will just be a perk! Err ... Havoc? Are you planning to give me a blow job or hump my leg?
*on the parade ground*
Hughes: You pedophiles in the audience should LOVE this giant billboard featuring my three-year-old daughter!
Crowd: Not a problem, we brought the entire base supply of toilet plungers out with us.
Edward: Nothing like having the entire military laugh at me ... Maybe this wasn't such a hot idea. Nevermind! I'm going to get back at that Colonel this time! He made me DO STUFF for him! How dare he!
Hughes: Okay ... *runs away* Fight!
Edward: What? Now?? I must have left my wits back in the dorm ...
Mustang: I didn't! Watch me pose as my brand of alchemy is explained to you. The white sparkles mean that I'm sexy!
Edward: Okay, this is seeming less and less like a good idea ...
Mustang: I'll do you a favor and give you lessons on how to more efficiently fight while I'm putting your future fertility in question.
Edward: Wow, I'm real fast with the automail transmutation all of a sudden ...
Mustang: Thanks for just sitting there on your giant weapon instead of firing it. Weren't you listening when I said something about "ending it quickly" just a moment ago?
Edward: ... no.
Mustang: Just my luck to have a flashback right now. Damn that post-traumatic stress disorder!
Edward: Oh, there are my wits. Have a blade at your throat, Colonel!
*later*
Edward: Have I earned some friggin' exposition yet?
Mustang: ... maybe a little. Let me tell you about Ishbal.
Edward: I don't want to hear about Ishbal! I want to hear about Marcoh!
Mustang: Oh, very well. Damn, you're persistent.
*in the office*
Hawkeye: Let's finish this stupid dog thing once and for all. With a gun.
*in the bar*
Hughes: Time for some exposition about Lior.
Mustang: Damn, that sucks.
Hughes: Let's have Ed look into it again.
Mustang: Nah, he needs to work for his exposition.
*outside*
Edward: Instead of providing this cat with food or actual shelter, I'll make ... a baby buggy for it.
Alphonse: Brilliant thinking, Nii-san!
*back in the bar*
Mustang: So why is everybody here?
Hughes: There's a serial killer of State Alchemists in Central. We're hoping that he's too stupid to know how to read a train schedule.
Scar: No such luck! I AM THE GREATEST!