Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Hagane no Renkinjutsushi - Summarized ❯ Episode 20 - Shugosha no Tamashii ( Chapter 20 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kinslayer 
Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 04.20.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 699 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 04.20.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 699 | Status: Completed
Edward: Wow, was it really necessary for the recap this time to be the last third of the prior episode?
Number 48: It's because I'm cool, and the more screentime I get, the better. My extended presence adds to the dramatic tension.
Number 66: Then what's my excuse for being in it?
Alphonse: Comic relief. Roll the credits!
*Opening credits*
*Title card : Guardian's Soul*
Edward: Just as I thought, you're empty inside.
Number 48: That's not a very nice thing to say about someone you just met! Okay, you've earned a little exposition. Number 48 is my prisoner number.
Edward: This means the Fifth Lab had something to do with the prison next door! Wait ... I figured that out before the commercial break in the last episode ...
Number 48: Senior moments at such a young age. How tragic! Let's fight some more.
Edward: In a bit. First, I need to reveal to you that I know your weakness.
Number 48: Now I know yours as well - you can't keep your mouth shut on valuable information. Okay, now let's fight!
Edward: Dammit, my shoulder is acting weird again. Oh, that's right ... Winry used flimsier automail this time. HEY! Cutting me wasn't in the fight choreography!
Number 48: Neither was that backflip. If you can improvise, I can too!
Edward: Well, you've got me down, sweating and panting. Usually nobody but Al gets to see me like this. Enjoy while you can.
Number 48: Speaking of your companion, he's probably dead by now, so give it up.
Edward: Nahh. I've never beaten him in a fight. Except in Episode 3 when I threw him in the lake.
*outside*
Number 66: I'm telling you, the Enterprise could kick any star destroyer's ass!
Alphonse: No way, phasers wouldn't even be able to get through a star destroyer's shields!
Number 66: Oh, and a star destroyer could get through the E-D's shields, I suppose?
Alphonse: Two words. Ion. Cannons.
Number 66: I KEEL YOU!
Alphonse: Damn these Trekkies.
Number 66: Now look, you've knocked my head clean off. I guess this means I need to reveal that I'm really Barry the Chopper from Episode 8.
Alphonse: In the spirit of equivalent trade, I'll reveal that I'm just an armor-bound soul as well.
Number 66: Thanks! Now I know your weakness!
Alphonse: I know your weakness too.
Number 66: Yeah, but you didn't have to give me yours, you could have kept the advantage, but you Elrics just can't seem to avoid the temptation to tell your enemies everything you know.
Alphonse: ... Dammit.
Number 66: And the Enterprise would win!
*back at the library*
Random Officer: Keep searching the library! Scar must be here somewhere!
Random Soldier: But we saw him jump out the window and run away.
Random Officer: DON'T QUESTION ME!
Broche: But why does Scar keep going after Edward so tenaciously?
Ross: That's as damned good question, and it's a shame we don't have an answer for it.
Scar: From hell's heart, I stab at thee!
*commercial break*
Number 48: You're slowing down. I would have thought all the sex that fanfic writers insist that you have would have given you more stamina.
Edward: My chibi rant takes on disturbing connotations when you put it that way ... Damn, there goes my shoulder again. Time to cheat.
Number 48: Actually, that's pretty clever, doing two transmutations at the same time, and covering for one by making the other one obvious.
Edward: Isn't it, though? Every now and then I have to do something exceptional to justify continuing to call myself a genius. Now, about that exposition ...
Number 48: About the magic rock?
Edward: How did you know!?
Number 48: Oh, come on, you're in a magic rock factory. What else would you be after?
Edward: Good point. So, what about the magic rock?
Number 48 [head]: PSYCHE!
Number 48 [body]: Muahahahaha!
Edward: Dammit, this is as bad as a Final Fantasy boss fight. You take one part down, and the rest kicks your ass.
Number 48 [body]: Finally, able to move around without my bossy older brother telling me what to do! I won't give you time to transmute! But I'll take the time to give a short speech about how I won't give you time to transmute.
Edward: I think there's more blood on my jacket than is left in my veins. Was this in my contract?
Number 48 [body]: I'm not giving you time for a transmutation! Wait a minute ... you ducked!
Edward: Although my transmutations can be instantaneous, for some reason I feel a need to do just half a one, a la Scar, as if that somehow saves me time. Actually, the time I spend talking about it could have been used to do a complete transmutation.
Number 48 [body]: Dammit. I didn't expect you to duck!
Number 48 [head]: Oh well, we lost. Destroy us and get it over with.
Edward: No way. That would make me, y'know, a killer. And I'm not a killer. Majhal's death was totally not my fault!
Number 48 [head]: Bah, we're not human anymore.
Edward: Enjoy the irony as I declare that Al is human while Al allows himself to be convinced that he isn't.
*outside*
Number 66: Dammit! The Enterprise has superior maneuverability! Doesn't that count for anything?
Alphonse: Not in the long run. What's taking Nii-san so long? He has all the capital ship specs memorized.
Number 66: That chibi alchemist is your brother?
Alphonse: He gets mad when you talk about his height. Everybody should know that by now, it's a running joke.
Number 66: So he's the one who turned you into an empty suit of armor! Hah hah hah! Obviously it's fake love.
Alphonse: That's not what he said last night!
Number 66: Well, of course he's not going to admit that he made you just so he'd have a self-powered dildo following him around all the time. Do you have any proof that you were ever alive? There could be this giant conspiracy keeping you in the dark solely so your brother can have a sex toy.
*inside*
Edward: My little brother is human. That means you're human too. That means I'm not going to kill you.
Number 48 [head]: You've told me about your brother, so I guess I should tell you about us. You're an interesting kid with a unique view of things!
Edward: Yeah, it's not like I think of my brother as just a sex toy or anything.
*outside*
Alphonse: I'm a human being! I'm Alphonse Elric! I'm not a vibrator!
Number 66: Got any proof?
Alphonse: Well ... we kind of burned all our proof.
Number 66: There you go! And oh, by the way, the Enterprise's shields are not vulnerable to lasers, which is the primary armament on an Imperial star destroyer! Therefore, the Enterprise wins!
Alphonse: Dammit! What was Nii-san going to tell me back in Risenbourg that time? Since he was too afraid ask me, obviously it must have been some kind of admission that I'm a construct. Woe is me! I'm so easy to mindfuck.
Number 48: It's because I'm cool, and the more screentime I get, the better. My extended presence adds to the dramatic tension.
Number 66: Then what's my excuse for being in it?
Alphonse: Comic relief. Roll the credits!
*Opening credits*
*Title card : Guardian's Soul*
Edward: Just as I thought, you're empty inside.
Number 48: That's not a very nice thing to say about someone you just met! Okay, you've earned a little exposition. Number 48 is my prisoner number.
Edward: This means the Fifth Lab had something to do with the prison next door! Wait ... I figured that out before the commercial break in the last episode ...
Number 48: Senior moments at such a young age. How tragic! Let's fight some more.
Edward: In a bit. First, I need to reveal to you that I know your weakness.
Number 48: Now I know yours as well - you can't keep your mouth shut on valuable information. Okay, now let's fight!
Edward: Dammit, my shoulder is acting weird again. Oh, that's right ... Winry used flimsier automail this time. HEY! Cutting me wasn't in the fight choreography!
Number 48: Neither was that backflip. If you can improvise, I can too!
Edward: Well, you've got me down, sweating and panting. Usually nobody but Al gets to see me like this. Enjoy while you can.
Number 48: Speaking of your companion, he's probably dead by now, so give it up.
Edward: Nahh. I've never beaten him in a fight. Except in Episode 3 when I threw him in the lake.
*outside*
Number 66: I'm telling you, the Enterprise could kick any star destroyer's ass!
Alphonse: No way, phasers wouldn't even be able to get through a star destroyer's shields!
Number 66: Oh, and a star destroyer could get through the E-D's shields, I suppose?
Alphonse: Two words. Ion. Cannons.
Number 66: I KEEL YOU!
Alphonse: Damn these Trekkies.
Number 66: Now look, you've knocked my head clean off. I guess this means I need to reveal that I'm really Barry the Chopper from Episode 8.
Alphonse: In the spirit of equivalent trade, I'll reveal that I'm just an armor-bound soul as well.
Number 66: Thanks! Now I know your weakness!
Alphonse: I know your weakness too.
Number 66: Yeah, but you didn't have to give me yours, you could have kept the advantage, but you Elrics just can't seem to avoid the temptation to tell your enemies everything you know.
Alphonse: ... Dammit.
Number 66: And the Enterprise would win!
*back at the library*
Random Officer: Keep searching the library! Scar must be here somewhere!
Random Soldier: But we saw him jump out the window and run away.
Random Officer: DON'T QUESTION ME!
Broche: But why does Scar keep going after Edward so tenaciously?
Ross: That's as damned good question, and it's a shame we don't have an answer for it.
Scar: From hell's heart, I stab at thee!
*commercial break*
Number 48: You're slowing down. I would have thought all the sex that fanfic writers insist that you have would have given you more stamina.
Edward: My chibi rant takes on disturbing connotations when you put it that way ... Damn, there goes my shoulder again. Time to cheat.
Number 48: Actually, that's pretty clever, doing two transmutations at the same time, and covering for one by making the other one obvious.
Edward: Isn't it, though? Every now and then I have to do something exceptional to justify continuing to call myself a genius. Now, about that exposition ...
Number 48: About the magic rock?
Edward: How did you know!?
Number 48: Oh, come on, you're in a magic rock factory. What else would you be after?
Edward: Good point. So, what about the magic rock?
Number 48 [head]: PSYCHE!
Number 48 [body]: Muahahahaha!
Edward: Dammit, this is as bad as a Final Fantasy boss fight. You take one part down, and the rest kicks your ass.
Number 48 [body]: Finally, able to move around without my bossy older brother telling me what to do! I won't give you time to transmute! But I'll take the time to give a short speech about how I won't give you time to transmute.
Edward: I think there's more blood on my jacket than is left in my veins. Was this in my contract?
Number 48 [body]: I'm not giving you time for a transmutation! Wait a minute ... you ducked!
Edward: Although my transmutations can be instantaneous, for some reason I feel a need to do just half a one, a la Scar, as if that somehow saves me time. Actually, the time I spend talking about it could have been used to do a complete transmutation.
Number 48 [body]: Dammit. I didn't expect you to duck!
Number 48 [head]: Oh well, we lost. Destroy us and get it over with.
Edward: No way. That would make me, y'know, a killer. And I'm not a killer. Majhal's death was totally not my fault!
Number 48 [head]: Bah, we're not human anymore.
Edward: Enjoy the irony as I declare that Al is human while Al allows himself to be convinced that he isn't.
*outside*
Number 66: Dammit! The Enterprise has superior maneuverability! Doesn't that count for anything?
Alphonse: Not in the long run. What's taking Nii-san so long? He has all the capital ship specs memorized.
Number 66: That chibi alchemist is your brother?
Alphonse: He gets mad when you talk about his height. Everybody should know that by now, it's a running joke.
Number 66: So he's the one who turned you into an empty suit of armor! Hah hah hah! Obviously it's fake love.
Alphonse: That's not what he said last night!
Number 66: Well, of course he's not going to admit that he made you just so he'd have a self-powered dildo following him around all the time. Do you have any proof that you were ever alive? There could be this giant conspiracy keeping you in the dark solely so your brother can have a sex toy.
*inside*
Edward: My little brother is human. That means you're human too. That means I'm not going to kill you.
Number 48 [head]: You've told me about your brother, so I guess I should tell you about us. You're an interesting kid with a unique view of things!
Edward: Yeah, it's not like I think of my brother as just a sex toy or anything.
*outside*
Alphonse: I'm a human being! I'm Alphonse Elric! I'm not a vibrator!
Number 66: Got any proof?
Alphonse: Well ... we kind of burned all our proof.
Number 66: There you go! And oh, by the way, the Enterprise's shields are not vulnerable to lasers, which is the primary armament on an Imperial star destroyer! Therefore, the Enterprise wins!
Alphonse: Dammit! What was Nii-san going to tell me back in Risenbourg that time? Since he was too afraid ask me, obviously it must have been some kind of admission that I'm a construct. Woe is me! I'm so easy to mindfuck.