Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Momentary Bliss ❯ Sweet Grief ( Chapter 1 )

Momentary Bliss

"NURIKO!!!"

I turn myself slightly as I hear the voice of my friend calling me. Oh, god, don't let them see me like this...especially not Miaka. But...it's her...she and Tamahome are...coming towards me...they look so beautiful, outlined by the crisp white snow. I...know now...why the Shinzaho was hidden here; only someplace as brilliant as this...could hold such a relic.

Korin...I see her...so clearly now. Heh...I guess it's true, then...Ashitare did kill me. Am I already dead? No, I can't be...Miaka is...right at my side.

Miaka...Tamahome...they were always with me, weren't they? Right from the beginning, even when I tried to tear them apart...and now, right at the very end of my short existence...they're still here. They're here at my side...even as I await my own death. I was...now I really know what I should've realized all that time ago, back when they helped me for the very first time; I know that...our lives have been so blurry...yet, what we wanted to and should do...was so clear that it was the only thing we could never ignore.

What I tell Miaka with my final, labored breaths is unclear to me...I only speak from what my own heart tells me to say....and I can't even find the strength to listen to what I'm saying to her. With every blink, my heart skips a beat, and I find my strength diminishing.

I...have only minutes left...if even that. How painless life is as you wait at death's door; I can see only the faces of those I care about...and I can't bring myself to feel bad about leaving them. It's not as though it'll be better to them that I'm not around...rather, I think that they'll somehow be able to embrace their own hearts somehow...if they can't do it now. Somehow, I think only of their future now...I can't. I want to remember them as they are now, not older.

But even as I try to block out the thoughts to concentrate only on their faces, I can't help but think of some things that I'll never see again...people that I'll never see again. Hotohori and Chichiri...all of them...my older brother...Miaka...MIAKA!

The pain somehow doubles as I'm snapped back to reality with Miaka's leave of me. Oh, god, let me see their faces one last time...my life is ending here and now...I can feel this weight that even my own powerful arms cannot lift bearing down on me...and I don't have power enough to hold it much longer.

Tamahome...I can see the tears lining his eyes. Please, Tamahome...don't cry yet. I can't even speak any longer. I continue to look at him, trying only to remember that face. Please, let me see you as you usually are...save the tears for later. Save them for when I'm finally gone...when I die. I'm lifted slightly, and I realize that he's trying to lean me towards him. Did he light a fire? Yes...but I can't get distracted. His green-blue hair...grey eyes...and every contour of his face...he truly is beautiful.

Miaka looks down at me, and I force a smile as my own head betrays me; I feel so light-headed...I can't feel anything...oh, Miaka...I'm sorry to do this. I can't help myself. I just feel so happy to be seeing her now. She's such a person...one in a million.

Suddenly, I can't focus my own eyes, and allow them to shut. It's slow, but I know what it is. This is it; I don't even have ten seconds to live. The pain grows slowly, and then fades; I feel my body slump in Tamahome's arms and I hear him whisper my name. It will be the last thing that...I'll ever hear in my life. The blinding light coming through my eyelids darkens. I'm gone now...I must be...and I feel so free. The pain is gone.

They were right there with me, even as I bled to death. I was a warrior...I was fated to die early in life, but I do not regret that decision. How could I? I love the people who I died for, and that's all I could ever want. Of anything, dying for them was so...enlightening. I died a shining death before I could completely grow up...I died so happily, surrounded by them.

And I would give forever...for that momentary bliss.