Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Scars ❯ In the Past ( Chapter 11 )

Hello, and welcome back to Scars! I'm your authoress, Ambika-san--::ducks rotten vegetables:: I'm sorry! I actually came here to apologize! I really meant to work on this, but my muses refused to cooperate....

Right, so there's an angst warning and a sap warning in effect for this chapter.

Oh, and the text in between these: *** is Houjun's memory (which he's describing to Genrou.)

Dedication: Yep. That's right. I'm dedicating this chapter. To my betas: Tasoka, Tsukiyomi2 and Haleth Enyalier, who checked this over for me, and Xellas, because (though I didn't ask for her help with this one) I have pestered her with so many other beta-ing requests.

Thanks again, you guys!

------Scars ------

-Genrou-

"Kouran?" I asked, surprised. "She was yer fiancee last time around, right? Is she here, too?"

"She was." The slight emphasis on the last word and the sadness in Houjun's eye as he stared at his hands made my heart ache. No matter what the life or world, it seems that Chichiri is fated to suffer.

But there was still something I didn't understand.

"Y'mean...again? But then...Hikou's not...?"

"No, he had nothing to do with it this time." Houjun looked up. "It was all different."

--Houjun--

I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to begin my story.

"We were in high school at the time. Hikou and I were seniors, and Kouran was a year behind us. I'd gotten to know her through the drama club, and I introduced her to Hikou. We became friends very quickly. And..." I paused, feeling a little awkward about saying what came next.

"Y' fell in love, right? You c'n say it."

I smiled gratefully at Genrou. "Yes. We fell in love. And for a few months, things were wonderful. But then...."

***

"Kouran, is everything all right?"

"Hm?" she turned back to me. "Oh, it's nothing."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "You're acting kind of strange. You keep looking around, like you expect to see someone there..."

Kouran frowned at the sidewalk. "I'm probably being stupid, but lately I just feel like I'm being watched." She turned a bright, false smile on me. "Silly, huh?"

"Have you seen anyone?"

"No..."

"Hmm..." I shrugged. "It might just be your imagination, but be careful, all right?"

"Of course."

Over the next few weeks, I saw Kouran looking over her shoulder once or twice when she thought I wasn't watching. She didn't say anything to me about it, though, so I didn't worry very much. However, I tried to make sure that either Hikou or I always walked her home.

I never saw anyone watching her. And Hikou never mentioned anything, so I assumed that he never did, either.

I began to think that she might just be imagining it. Our exams were coming up, and many students were showing signs of stress.

And so I became careless.

It was a Wednesday. It had been rainy all morning, but by lunchtime the clouds were breaking up, and it was warm and sunny by the time school was over.

I had a rehearsal for the upcoming school play. Kouran didn't have a part in it, so she was helping backstage. However, the stagehands weren't needed for this rehearsal.

Hikou was out sick, so he couldn't walk with Kouran.

"Do you want to call home and ask for a ride?" I asked, still a little wary of letting her walk home alone.

"I can't," she replied. "My parents are away on a business trip. They won't be back until Monday."

"Well, you can come to the rehearsal with me, then."

"I'll be fine." she laughed. "It's not like I've never walked home alone before."

"Well, if you're sure..."

"You worry too much." She turned to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Sure enough, Kouran was in school the next day. She seemed quieter than usual, and she avoided my eyes when she did speak. I asked her if anything was wrong, but she just shook her head and said that she was fine.

When we met to walk home, Kouran handed me a necklace.

It was simple, just a silver crescent on a length of black cord, but I knew it to be one of Kouran's favorites.

"What...?" I looked at the necklace, and then at Kouran. "Kouran, why are you giving this to me?"

"Oh..." She stared at the ground. "I just...I wanted to give you something. You know, because I love you." She looked up at me, smiling.

I smiled back. "Well, thank you, then." I slipped the necklace over my head.

She nodded. "You're welcome."

And we started off.

When we arrived at Kouran's house, she turned to me and kissed me.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I asked, perplexed.

"For everything. I love you."

"I love you too." I frowned, concerned. "Are you all right? You're acting funny...."

"I'm fine." She laughed softly. "I just started thinking that I don't tell you that often enough. You're very good to me."

I looked at her skeptically for a moment, trying to decide whether this was the truth or not. It did sound true to Kouran's character, but I couldn't quite shake the feeling that there was something wrong.

"You're sure everything is all right?"

She smiled broadly. "I'm fine! Don't worry so much, it'll give you wrinkles!"

I smiled. "All right. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

But Kouran wasn't in school the next day.

I didn't know it until second period, when Hikou asked me if she'd been sick.

I blinked. "No..."

"Maybe she came down with something last night." Hikou shrugged.

remembering how oddly she'd been behaving, I was more concerned. "Let's go check on her after school."

"I wish I could, but I have to go to work."

I sighed exaggeratedly. "I suppose I'll just have to go on my own, then."

Hikou laughed, and the bell rang for the end of second period.

I went to my locker for the first time that day. As I opened it, a slip of paper fluttered to the floor.

I picked it up, and saw that it was a note. I read it.

And then I left school as quickly as I could without arousing suspicion and headed for Kouran's house.

***

"The note told me that on the day she'd walked home alone, she'd been attacked and raped. It also said that she had decided shortly thereafter to take her own life."

I stopped and took a few deep breaths. Genrou squeezed my hand.

I smiled wanly at him and continued. "When I got to Kouran's house, her parents were there. They'd come home early from their business trip and..." I swallowed hard. "they'd found Kouran's body.

"She'd slit her wrists."

Genrou's eyes widened. "Oh, gods, 'Chiri, I'm so sorry..."

I shook my head. "You didn't know." I looked up at him. "And that's in the past now. I've dealt with it in my own way, and a couple of other peoples' ways, too. It's just that thinking of it still makes me sad...And I can't help thinking that maybe there was something I could have done differently..."

-Genrou-

" 'S not yer fault!"

"I know that, really. It's just that the signs were all there..."

"No. Ya didn' do anythin' wrong. The bastard that raped her's the one that should be sorry. That's horrible." I couldn't find the right words to ask Houjun if he was really okay, or to tell him that he didn't deserve all of the shit he'd gone through.

I hated to think how much I'd contributed to that shit.

"Damn, I feel like an asshole..."

He looked up at me.

"I mean, I gave you your scar, fer Suzaku's sake! An' then I went an' tried ta kill myself th' same way yer old girlfriend did..."

"Genrou..." he murmured.

"No, really! I'm a jerk. A screw-up. Ya shouldn'ta had ta go through anythin' else." I stared down at the bed, where our hands were linked. I untangled my fingers from his. "Y'deserve better'n me--"

"Tasuki!" he exclaimed. I looked up. He was angry. "I told you I forgave you, and I meant it. I told you I love you, and I meant that, too! And..." He takes my hand again. "....you promised me you wouldn't try to leave me again..."

"Oh, gods..." I closed my eyes. "I messed up again...."

"Genrou..." I opened my eyes. Houjun didn't look angry any more. "Don't you get it yet? The only way you can mess up is by leaving me alone."

I stared at him, speechless.

The door opened, and my doctor walked in.

"Oh, I'm sorry, have I interrupted something?"

"No," I found my voice again. "No, 's fine."

"Great, because I have some good news for you, Mr. Kou. You're going to be absolutely fine. Of course, we're gonna keep you here a little longer, so you can regain your strength. And there'll be some scarring on your wrists, that's unavoidable, but you should be perfectly okay." She smiled, but Houjun was looking at me in a way that clearly asked "Are you?"

I suppose it would seem like I was replying to the doctor, but it was Houjun I looked at, and he was the one that the words were truly intended for.

"A'course I'll be all right. Everyone's got scars they've gotta live with."

----owari-----

::shock::

I can't believe I've finally finished it. It's over. No more Scars...Y'know, this'd be sad if I wasn't so relieved. Not that I'm happy it's over...Well, I am, but only because it's been on my mind so long...I'm gonna miss this story, but it needed to end there. There wasn't much else I could do, now that everything's been revealed and Tasuki and Chichiri are still together, and...well...It's just done, okay?

Though I am probably gonna go back through and clean things up a bit. You know, edit parts that I'm not quite satisfied with and all. No plot changes, just little random details that bug me. ::shrug::

Anyway, I'll shut up now. Please review, even if you hate me for taking more than a year to finish this thing...

~Ambika-san