Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Everbody Breaks ❯ Points of View ( Chapter 5 )

Points of View

Companion piece to Everybody Breaks written

from the other pilot's POVs.

By Kai

 

 

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Gundam Wing - and trust me - the boys are VERY thankful for that fact.

 

Ratings: NC-17 (I'm putting this here because later parts will have sexual content, bondage, yaoi, and language.)

 

Warnings: Yaoi, 1x2x5x3x4 eventually.

 

Summary: If you ever wondered what the other pilots felt when everything was happening in Everybody Breaks, now is your chance. Hope you like this. I'll be posting Chapter Five to Everybody Breaks soon, just have to type it up. Sorry for the delay and be gentle with the grammar and spelling because no one beta-ed this before I posted it.

 

Points of View

By Kai

 

 

Duo's POV

 

I stared at the pictures; I'd gotten into the habit of taking them when I was with Heero. They guy just had to be photographed, when we joined Quatre and Trowa - well all three together, how could any red-blooded individual not take pictures of them. I never intended to be in any of them myself but I lost the camera once and the three of them wouldn't give it back until I agreed to be in them too.

 

So I was staring at my computer screen with my finger hanging over the mouse and the cursor hovering over the send button. The e-mail address was the one that belonged to the only Gundam Pilot that wasn't in our entirely unconventional and politically incorrect relationship.

 

We had gotten into the relationship after we had chosen to confess to each other what we felt. How did we do that? We got drunk. Heero and I came over to `visit' carrying enough alcohol with us to intoxicate a herd of elephants. The next day we woke up in bed together. After an awkward couple of hours we had sat down and talked - very quietly. To say it was a surprise that the two of them felt as we did was an understatement and a half. IT was one of the reasons we had needed the help of alcohol to bring us to the point where our normal restraints and inhibitions were lowered. Neither Heero nor myself believe it was possible for our feelings to be returned. The problem with not saying anything was we couldn't not tell them, it just hurt both of us too much not knowing for sure either way. Our new relationship wasn't perfect, we had to work at it but it was worth it.

 

So why was I contemplating sending photos to Wufei that would be at home in a porno magazine? For about seven months the others and I had been happy but each of us felt as if a piece of us was missing, of course, none of us told any of the others because we were afraid of loosing what we had miraculously gained. It might have stayed that way but almost a month ago Quatre took it upon himself to confess his feelings for Wufei to the rest of us - no small feat, I assure you. Afterwards we were still missing a piece or ourselves but at least we were missing it together. Telling Wufei was the next step but there was a problem with that, you see, we didn't tell him about how our relationship had changed. He didn't know that the four of us were in a, well, a foursome. Now, Wufei wasn't a stick in the mud - well not as much as people thought at first. He had a dry sense of humor, a sense of purpose and honor that held me in awe and he could be incredibly open-minded when it came to everyone except himself. He just couldn't seem to allow himself to do anything even remotely improper. So, the question was, how do you ask a guy like that if he wants to make our foursome a happy, well-rounded fivesome. Answer: You didn't. Hence my present dilemma: to click or not to click… that was the new question. If he took offense or was upset I could claim it as a joke - after all, I was the `joker' of the group and in the end at least he would know about us and part of our little problem would have been solved. Hey, I never claimed to be conventional or subtle, I'm the demolitions expert after all - I don't do subtle, I do `everything's going to hell by first class courier', care of Shinigami. The problem was, I didn't know if I could do it - I couldn't bear it if Wufei pulled any further away from us then he already had. At the same time I wanted to die with no regrets and I wanted to be as happy as I could be. After everything we'd sacrificed for peace we deserved to be the happiest we possibly could and for that we needed Wufei. Hell, none of us even knew if he liked men, women or Chihuahuas… He had been all about duty and the mission back during the war - he was more driven than even Heero was. After all, I managed to get past Heero's formidable defenses but not Wufei's - and almost only counts in horseshoes.

 

So what's guy to do? Was it worth the risk? Would we permanently loose him if I did this? If I didn't?

 

“Duo!”

 

Before I could stop it my finger pressed down on the mouse and the message was sent. All I could do was stare at the screen in disbelief. That hadn't just happened, had it?

 

“Duo?”

 

I looked up and blinked owlishly at the door where Quatre was standing. It took me a moment to remember how to talk. “Yah?”

 

“Are you busy?”

Not anymore I wasn't. “Er, I was just writing Wu but… it seems I've finished, why?”

 

“Heero wants to go to a new Japanese restaurant and we wanted to know if you wanted to come.”

 

Did I want to go and eat with my lovers or wait for my certain death, going by the name of Chang Wufei, to arrive in all his glorious fury; waving his sword skillfully in an attempt to extract justice from my hide? Tough decision; I think not. When in doubt - hide - time enough to sort through the mess later, which you can't do if you're dead. “Food is always greatly appreciated - you know that Quat. Just let me get my coat.”

 

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Heero's POV

 

The time difference between L4 and the Preventer's HQ was about twelve hours, so I always sent Wufei an e-mail at 7:30 pm every Tuesday and Thursday. It was Thursday and I'd sent it about an hour before we left for supper. So while we were eating Wufei was likely reading our e-mails as he always did when he arrived at work. I had come to expect a prompt reply so by the time we got back home and I had logged into my secure e-mail account it was almost two hours later, around 10:30 in the evening and I expected to find an e-mail from him waiting for me to read it. I knew he wasn't on a mission, if so, he would have informed us of it or - if he had been unable to - Une would have. I stayed on the computer until about 11:45 and finally logged out deciding it would be best to join the others upstairs. I still had to go through my half hour exercise routine before I did but I was too worried about the cause of Wufei's delay to sleep much less do anything else so I was even considering lengthening it.

 

I was on my third set of fifty push-ups when my cell phone rang. As I wiped my face with a towel I reached for my cell phone, my heart somewhere in my stomach. “Yuy here.”

 

“Heero, it's Sally.”

 

For a second the world spun but I gritted my teeth. Quatre, Duo and Trowa kept in touch with Sally on a friendly and regular basis - the only reason she would call me was if Une was incapacitated and I was need for a mission or, more likely - since Sally was listed as Wufei's next of kin in the event of an emergency, that something had happened to Wufei. “Report.”

 

“Wufei's in the hospital but there doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong with him. I've run all the tests I can think of but so far they've all come back negative. His secretary found him at his desk - staring into space and unresponsive. Not long after I arrived he slipped into unconsciousness and has been unconscious for the last couple of hours. He's in stable condition at the Preventers' main hospital.”

 

None of that made sense. Sally always kept me informed about Wufei's overall condition and his last check up had shown that he was completely healthy, even better than during the war. “Have you investigated the possible causes yet?”

 

“I'm on my way to his office now but I wanted to get you moving since the rip from L4 to Earth will take a while. Whatever the cause, having the four of you by his side can only help him; at least it did during the war and I have no reason to believe otherwise. I'll keep you apprised of the situation. Do you have an approximate ETA?”

 

“Fourteen hours, around 04:00 hours your time tomorrow.”

 

“Understood. Sally out.”

 

We hung up and I immediately put in a call to the shuttle dock to have one of Quatre's personal shuttles prepped for take-off. That done I moved upstairs to wake the others.

 

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Trowa's POV

 

I was only half asleep when Heero came into the room we sometimes shared. It was actually beneficial that the house was so large because it enabled each of us to have our own bedroom as well as others we could share with the others for certain games that some of us didn't like to participate in. I wasn't thrilled by bondage but Heero and Quatre were and Duo enjoyed dabbling and watching so I never really went in that bedroom and they never asked me to. Anyway, I was only half asleep when he came in the room because I'd been waiting for him to come to bed.

 

It was his footsteps that had me sitting up and reaching for clothes to change into. Heero rarely walked like a soldier anymore but when he did it was when he was on duty, a mission he'd been given or a mission he'd assigned himself. I was willing to say it was the latter because none of the Preventer's top Agents were on any missions and Une only used any of us as a last resort. The thing was, Heero only assigned himself missions when it involved innocents, friends or those he loved. Since nothing on the news had involved innocents, and last I'd heard Relena was safe (due in large part to the security measures that Heero had instituted himself) and the others and myself were fine - that left one person - Wufei. It left Wufei because I hadn't received a reply to the e-mail I had sent him earlier in the evening and if there was one thing Wufei had become over the last year - it was consistent.

 

I met Heero's gaze as I pulled on my underwear as and jeans. “Wufei?”

 

He nodded.

 

“Time allotted for mission arrangements?”

 

“Fifteen minutes. I'll pack.”

 

With that he left to collect and check the duffle bags we kept ready - just in case. That left me with the job of waking the other two and getting them ready. IT wasn't as hard as some might think, in fact, it took all of three words.

 

“Pilot in trouble!”

 

If the situation hadn't seemed so dire it would have been funny as both of them came awake, completely alert in seconds. They were up and getting dressed as I finished pulling on my shirt, socks and shoes.

 

Quatre's head poked out of his shirt as he spoke. “Report.”

 

I handed Duo one of my shirts since his wasn't intact. “05. More intel on route. 01 allotted fifteen minutes for arrangements; it is currently two minutes, fifty-two seconds and counting.”

 

Duo was already dressed and re-doing his braid with deft, swift movements. “Transportation?”

 

Heero came in then and answered as he gave us each our bags. “Being prepped as we speak. Car is waiting out front - ready?”

 

In answer we moved out of the room to the car, knowing Heero would update us on the shuttle.

 

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Quatre's POV

 

The only person Heero trusted to fly us to Earth was Duo. His fourteen hour ETA would have been impossible for anyone else, so I wasn't surprised. Out of all of us Duo had always been the best pilot; he could get anything he was piloting to do things no one else could ever come close to.

 

So I took care of arranging a hotel room and a place to dock the shuttle during our stay as well as making arrangements with family, friends and work concerning our absences. None of us knew how long we would be gone but I set it up for about three weeks, just in case. I could always arrange it for longer if necessary but I could wait to do that until we had a moment to discuss the situation with Sally. She was still checking Wufei's office the first time that she had looked she hadn't found anything and had told Heero that as well as the fact that she thought Wufei might be in shock. Wufei was still stable but he was also still unconscious. Her last call had been three hours into the trip and we would be landing on Earth in less then twenty minutes. To say that we were stressed about the situation would have been apt. Trowa did his best to ease the tension where he could, which we all appreciated. He massaged my shoulders at one point, took over the co-pilot's seat from Heero for half an hour so that he could exchange some new off-color jokes with Duo, and though I couldn't be sure what it was that he did exactly he stayed with Heero for about an hour - a silent but solid presence at Heero's back, while I took the co-pilot seat. It was as if Trowa just being there was letting Heero know that he wasn't alone and that was enough to make him feel better.

 

After we arrived and were by Wufei's side it would be our turn to do what we could for Trowa - it wouldn't be a moment too soon - he looked absolutely exhausted. All of us were, we hadn't slept since we had left the house on L4. How can you sleep when part of your heart was numb with worry?

 

It was then, at that moment, as I heard Duo talking with the tower, that I knew I wouldn't be leaving Earth without Wufei - I didn't think any of us would be.

 

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Heero's POV

 

Sally had someone waiting for us at the airport. He was a stocky, gruff looking man who was maybe 5'9” and about 40 years of age, in his Preventers' uniform, to most people, he would have looked highly imposing. He also looked extremely competent. The way he moved to greet us, it was fairly obvious that he was ex-military - it didn't matter which side he fought on during the war because the war was over. Right now he was a Preventer so he was on the side of peace; more importantly he was there to take us to Wufei.

 

“Sirs. I'm Agent Eric Warren. Agent Po sent me to bring you to the hospital where Agent Chang is being treated.” He took in the bags we were carrying. “Is that all your luggage?”

 

I chose to answer his inquiry. “Yes it is Agent Warren. So, if we could…” I tried to make my voice sound a bit apologetic since I still found it a bit difficult to allow emotions to show openly on my face.

 

Luckily it seemed to work. “You want to go. I understand I'm rather fond of Wufei myself.” He'd already turned to lead us to the car so he missed the expressions on the other faces but I didn't. From what Wufei had written in his e-mails it hadn't seemed as if he had any friends among the Preventers, except Sally, and she was like an older sister to him. So it was understandable that we were surprised and showing disbelief.

 

We started to follow him as Quatre asked the question we were all thinking. “You know Wufei well?”

 

Agent Warren shrugged slightly, “I've known him since he joined the Agency. He's one of the toughest people I've ever had the opportunity to meet. He's helped me train Field Agents for the last eight months. Having Wufei assist me allows us to weed out those candidates that aren't desirable.”

 

Duo took the front seat as the rest of us squeezed into the back. As soon Agent Warren had started the car and pulled out into traffic Duo twisted in his seat so that he could talk to him. “What do you mean by that exactly? About Wufei helping to weed out people?”

 

I was a little surprised when Agent Warren laughed out loud. “I wish I could show you what I mean - it's a real treat, I tell you, but since I can't I'll just explain it as best I can. As you know, right after the last war the Preventer Agency was set up - it actually turned out to be a bit of a godsend for us soldiers who didn't have anywhere else to go. Some were able to go into trades and things of that nature due to their specialties but those like me, who were strictly trained for combat, lacked the skills necessary to make a decent living as anything but a soldier. Most of us found our way to the Agency; don't get me wrong - sometimes we have `disagreements' due to the past but for the most part we accept that everyone was just doing what they had to or believed they had to. Anyway, since the Agency is built on old warhorses like Wufei and myself `training' for the first six months or so was mostly `evaluation' - we watched, read and figured out what the recruits didn't know and taught it to them. Not much involved really since basic training is basic training no matter which way you flip it - course specialized training was a whole other matter but I'm getting a bit off track… Now about six months back our `new recruits' started to be just that `new', not ex-soldiers, ex-rebels or anything with a solid background of combat and war and with that you get a whole new set of problems - you get people who judge based on appearance or age instead of skill, you get people who want to be heroes, people who are trying to further their own political goals, people who don't take the job or anyone associated with it seriously and those who think that it'll be easy - though how they get that impression I don't have the foggiest. Then you have them come to their basic training and meet their two main instructors. I do my paperwork in the afternoons while Wufei takes them in hand and he does his red tape, bureaucratic bullshit in the mornings while I crack skulls. Or that's how it usually goes. Anyway, the first couple of days we make a `stand' together and within the first hour about three of our recruits are dismissed and within two hours about five quit on their own without any encouragement from us. Wufei usually gives them five minutes to look him over while I give our little welcome to hell speech and then he gives them a chance. He tells them that if they think they can beat him in a fight they can take him on right there. If they win they'll be granted full Agent status immediately and of course I fully agree that it's a valid arrangement.”

 

I couldn't help but frown slightly. “What if they loose?”

 

He laughed again, “You know most of the ones who attack him forget to ask that. If they loose they're out of the program completely. People like that would get the good Agents killed.”

 

Quatre cocked his head slightly where he sat between Trowa and I. “Une approved of this?”

“The Commander knows what her top Agents can do. So far no one I've met could beat Wufei one-on-one, maybe not even three-on-one. That isn't to say that if you added a knife or gun to the mix that he might not loose, he could, but in hand-to-hand he's phenomenal. The Commander has told me she believes that only the four of you could ever truly hope to match him.”

 

That made sense because it was true. Wufei was a martial artist and not just one who knew the forms but one who had the practical knowledge of how to use those forms in real-life combat situations. All of us were skilled fighters but it was truly Wufei's specialty. “Do you know what happened to him?”

 

The man slipped from easy-going to tense and unhappy. “He works too much. He does the job of five men and still seems to think he's not doing enough. Everyone his age that I've ever met has always had some form of social life but the only social life he has is what me and the others force on him.”

 

Now Duo was frowning, “Others?”

 

“Sally, Noin, Zechs, Tabitha - Wufei's secretary, Alisa - Sally's secretary and Lady Une on occasion. The rest of the Preventers try to invite him places or drop hints but it's like he has no idea that that's what they're doing. He's not adept at interacting with others on a more personal level, though he can if he works at it. This situation, I think - and don't quote me on this because I'm just a field-medic at best - seems to be a combination of burn out, emotional breakdown and stress. I mean it's just wrong for a boy - sorry, young man - like him to actually forget to eat because he's too busy to really notice. The Commander should have forced him to take vacation time but with the Agency so new she can't spare those who she's come to depend on. If they ask, she'll do what she can. If they don't ask though… Wufei has worked every single day, all day for the entire period of time that I've known him. It was only a matter of time really and before you say it, all of us tried to get him to take at least a day off but, he's more stubborn than a horse who has managed to get the bit between his teeth.”

 

I couldn't argue with that, none of us could. The rest of the drive happened in silence. Une and Sally were waiting for us when we got to the hospital and took us straight to Wufei's room - explaining things as we walked.

 

My heart stopped for a moment when I saw him so still in that bed. He wasn't what anyone could call fragile but that's what he looked like. His hair was spread out on a pillow and his skin looked paler, the white of the sheets, walls, and pillow did nothing to give him color. He also looked far too thin to me. How could I have allowed this to happen?

 

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Duo's POV

 

Sally had decided to have another look at Wufei's office after giving us all the information she had which amounted to `nothing new to report'. Quatre offered to help but since we were only temporary Agents when needed it was against regulations. After she left we spent two hours in his room just watching him. Wufei had always seemed to be a force of nature, at least he had to me, so seeing him like that was sort of painful. I found myself watching as Heero reached out towards Wufei for what had to be the hundredth time, think better of it and pull his hand back before the movement had really had a chance to form. Things like that didn't happen unless he was extremely worried and tired. That made me look at Quatre and Trowa, both of whom looked exhausted; we'd been awake for about sixteen hours straight and with worrying as much as we were it was taking it's toll. So, I came to a decision and hoped the others wouldn't argue. “Look guys, let's do this in shifts - say, about every five hours. Three of us go to the hotel - get some sleep and then come back to take a turn. That way when Wufei does wake up we won't be like zombies. Instead, we'll actually be able to function when he needs us.”

 

“I'm not leaving.” I had expected that from Heero so I just shrugged.

 

“Then you take first watch. If anything happens give us a call on our cells when you get a chance to. I've got second watch, Quat can have third and Tro can go fourth. Agreed?”

 

Quatre was the only one who verbally answered but the other two nodded and the three of us were soon on our way to the hotel. I opted to take a room by myself and chose to leave Trowa in Quatre's care. I wasn't going to be much good to anybody for a little while and when I kissed Trowa and Quatre good night I tried to put those feelings into the kisses.

 

I went to my room and fell into my bed, not even bothering to take off my clothes. There was too much of a coincidence between those pictures being sent and what was happening with Wufei but I couldn't really find a connection between the two and nothing Sally, Eric or Une had told us could have led to it.

 

So, in the end, the one who suggested rest didn't get any at all. I got up after four and a half hours of lying in a bed - thinking, of all the things I could have been doing - showered, dressed and checked in on Quatre and Trowa. They were curled around each other, naked of course, and I wished I had my camera. At least some of us managed to get some sleep.

 

By the time I got to the hospital Heero was asleep and holding onto Wufei's limp hand. When it came to most people Heero would have been awake and demanding answers but with us (Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, and me) and only us did he feel safe enough not needing to do that. It always amazed me that he could somehow tell if the person in the room with him when he was asleep was one of us or not.

 

I left them for a moment to see about a cot; I insisted on setting it up myself and when I had I carefully moved Heero into it and then took his place next to Wufei. I spent the next three hours watching them sleep before a nurse came in to check on Wufei which woke Heero up but it turned out to be for the best because ten minutes later Quatre and Trowa came in to tell us that Sally wanted to talk to us. It was a bit of a fight to remain where I was since everyone wanted to stay with Fei but I put my foot down - it was my shift after all. Wufei might have been the most stubborn of the five of us but I was a close second when I wanted to be.

 

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Quatre's POV

 

When Trowa and I woke up we already knew Duo was gone because it was already five hours later. I spoke to Sally on the cell phone so that we could get into Wufei's apartment to collect his things. Sally said she would make the arrangements for us to be let in so we went to Wufei's apartment at the Preventers to do that not long after we each took a quick shower and grabbed a nutrient bar for breakfast. What we found made my heart ache for Wufei and made me even more certain that he would be coming with us when we went back to L4. I wasn't going to leave him again and I wasn't going to let him leave me.

 

The apartment was small with no personal touches except for one picture of the five of us. The only furniture in the entire place was a mat on the floor and the appliances it had come with. There was no food in the cupboards and only bottled water in the fridge. All of his personal effects were already packed in his duffle bag, except the sword that wouldn't fit.

 

Trowa and I ended up hanging onto each other and he said it best. “He'll never be alone again.”

 

“No, he won't.” It was an oath I was fully intending to keep.

 

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Duo's POV

 

As soon as the others had gone to talk to Sal, I found myself reaching for Fei's hand. When his hand was in mine I actually laughed. Big Bad Gundam Pilots like Heero and I were, we were still so uncertain of making the first move when it came to something like our feelings.

 

It was a bit of a surprise when about ten minutes later I saw Wufei's eyes open. “So, you're finally awake, Wu.”

 

Slowly he turned his head to look at me and then he opened his mouth and while his lips moved no sound came out. It was after his second attempt that my chest tightened painfully and it hurt to breathe. “Look, hang on a sec, I'll get Sal.”

 

I'd turned towards the door but stopped when I felt his hand grab my wrist. It startled me but when I looked down at him, the look on his face was panic, desperation and even what seemed to be longing. There was no way I could leave him like that - I loved him too much to do that. I found myself reaching out to him with my left hand and brushing the hair out of his eyes with my fingers before lightly caressing his cheek as I pulled away and sat down again. He looked so confused and vulnerable it almost physically hurt me to see him like that. “It's okay, Wu, I'm not going anywhere. The others will be here in about five minutes or so anyway and one of them can get Sal. Man, you scared us, you know. Sally said she was called by your secretary, Tabitha, I think her name was. She'd apparently gone in to give you your lunch and found you just sitting in your chair like a statue staring into space. Sally said it was shock at first but she's leaning more towards an emotional breakdown now because you were asleep for more than 24 hours, among other things. She called us as soon as you were stabilized here at the hospital, so the guys and I hopped on the first shuttle and arrived about fourteen hours ago. We were taking turns staying with you but Sal needed to show us something so I volunteered to stay… course, I had to fight off the other guys but, since it would have been my turn anyway, I won.” Then I grinned and winked at him and nearly slapped myself because of it. He didn't need me doing things like that when he was sick. As I watched him, he frowned and I found my left hand tracing random patterns on his forearm. I just couldn't seem to keep from touching him. It didn't take me long to figure out why he was frowning. “Don't be upset about the whole `emotional breakdown' thing Wu. The five of us are prime candidates for it but unlike the rest of us who've talked about our pasts and the war with each other, you never did that. Heck, I don't think you've ever talked to anybody your whole life about what you feel and these things tend to build up over time; then when you least expect it something comes along that breaks the camel's back. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to people more often then they're willing to admit. With anyone else they would have succumbed during the wars but you were stronger than that, weren't you? Always so damn proud and so determined to be independent, well, Une's giving you two months of paid sick leave. She claims you've worked two years worth in a year and that you're too valuable to lose, so as soon as Sally gives her okay, we're taking you back to L4 with us. We've missed you, Wu, all of us. It's just not the same with out you there. I know you don't want our help but please, just this once, let help you. We've all lost so much already, we don't want to lose you to.”

 

I finished my impromptu speech while staring at his hand I just couldn't bare to look at him. If I had the burning in my eyes would likely have ended with a cascade of water down each of my cheeks. I didn't have to clear any of what I said with the others. It was an unspoken agreement that Wufei would be with us when we went back to L4.

 

When I finally managed to look at him he had fallen asleep and I couldn't stop myself from lightly kissing his forehead before I resettled myself back into the uncomfortable chair by his side.

 

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Trowa's POV

 

Wufei had given Sally his personal information in case of emergencies, which included the password for his e-mail. When she didn't find anything in his office any of the times she had looked she decided to check his e-mail because when she had come to check on him it had appeared that he had just logged out. What she had found when she'd done that was the main reason for our presence in Wufei's office but none of us knew what to say when she opened the mail and we saw the pictures. To give Sally credit she was trying not to look at them. We stared at them for at least fifteen minutes and all of us were thinking the same things.

 

The pictures were secured, the only ones with access to them were the four of us and there was only one of us that would have even thought about sending them to Wufei - Duo. The question was; why? Not just, why did he send them, but why was Sally showing them to us?

 

Sally Answered the last question before any of us could ask. “This was the trigger, these pictures are what caused Wufei's breakdown. And before you start thinking something both wrong and stupid, it isn't because he was disgusted or too narrow-minded to accept it and it's not because he's straight. These pictures caused the breakdown because he loves you - all of you.”

 

We were probably gaping at her, even me - though I was a master of the blank expression, because she had virtually offered men dying of thirst a tall glass of cool water.

 

She must have seen our disbelief because she shook her head. “I've known Wufei since the first war and I've worked closely with him for over a year. He's like a brother to me and I probably know more about him then even he realizes. I'm also not involved in the situation. When people are involved they're usually not able to see very clearly, even when things are set out right in front of them. I saw the looks he gave you during the wars when he thought no one was looking. He's loved you since I first met him and probably even longer than that but he never did anything about it for a variety of reasons that anyone who knows any of you could easily name and the final reason - the one he would never cross because he fears hurting any of you is accidentally coming between the people involved in two couples that he thought were happy. He would suffer alone for the rest of his life just to make sure the four of you were happy. If I had known that you weren't separate couples any longer I would have taken steps to see if it was possible that you could love him and bring him into the relationship…” She shook her head as she took a deep breath to steady herself. “He never talks to anyone about his life. He uses the excuse that he doesn't feel comfortable talking about personal things. This day was a long time in coming; if you had any idea of his daily schedule… I was afraid that one day he would go to sleep and not wake up and now… Well, with you here he'll wake up because he would never do anything to you that would cause you intentional pain. Do you know he's been avoiding physically seeing you because he was afraid that you would see his feelings or he'd do something that would cause a rift between you? I don't need to know why the pictures are here, or why they were sent. What I want and need to know is what your intentions are towards Wufei?”

 

It didn't take me even a moment to answer and the others answered only moments after I did. “To make up for lost time.”

 

The look in Quatre's eyes was reminiscent of the zero system. “To love him as he should be loved.”

 

Heero's face was stone but his eyes were turbulent. “To never let him go.”

 

Sally actually looked a bit surprised at the quickness of our replies but after a long searching look she nodded. “Good, just remember, nothing but the best for my little brother. You remember that and we'll be fine. Don't forget to tell Duo about this and what I said, though I think he already knows about the pictures. I doubt he realizes the connection between them and Wufei's condition though. You know this could prove to be the best thing that could have happened to him. I'll warn you though, Wufei probably won't recall what happened to bring him to the point he's at. It was traumatic to him, after all, seeing what you want the most in the world right in front of you and being excluded from that would devastate even the toughest people.”

 

I didn't have to look at Heero and Quatre to know that I would be the one to talk to Duo. In situations of business, finance and tactics Quatre would be point. Heero would lead in security, computers and training and Duo was in charge of stealth, dealing with the public, mass destruction and piloting. I was in charge of medical care, listening to the others, infiltration and in telling the others things that could hurt is said wrong. It made me a little curious about how Wufei would fit into our little arrangement.

 

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Quatre's POV

 

When we got back to Wufei's room with Sally, Duo told us about him briefly waking up and his inability to speak. Sally was quick to assure us that it wasn't a physical malady just a physical manifestation of his trauma. When Trowa led Duo away I was actually a bit anxious for our more hyperactive lover. He would never have hurt Wufei for the world - we all knew that - but it had happened and he would be hurting because of it. All I could say is that I was thankful Trowa was with us. He would be able to soften the blow where we wouldn't have been able.

 

I could read people fairly well but I always felt at a bit of a loss as to what to do for them at times. True, I was better at it then Heero or Duo but Trowa understood people on a level I never could. It was jus tone of the reasons he was taking courses through correspondence to be a doctor and a vet. Most would consider that impossible but it isn't if you truly want it and Trowa did.

 

Carefully I put my hand within reach of Heero's and smiled slightly when he took it in his.

 

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Heero's POV

 

Quatre and I sat in silence while Trowa and Duo were gone but after a while I found that for once I needed more than silence. “We could have lost him, we could still lose him.”

 

Quatre's hand gripped mine tightly. “We won't Heero. We can't. We know the truth know and all we have to do is show it to Wufei. I doubt it will be easy but we've made a life out of the things that aren't easy. He may not know it yet but he's ours and we're his and I won't let anything interfere with that.”

 

I met his intense gaze with my own and tried to put everything I couldn't say into it. “Neither will I.”

 

Quatre frowned slightly and then he was looking at Wufei. “Wufei! You're awake! How are you feeling?”

 

I watched as Wufei opened his mouth to speak but there was no sound, just as Duo had told us. He frowned and gave us a questioning look so I answered it. “Duo told us. Sally says sometimes trauma can rob a person of their ability to speak even if they're physically fine.”

 

He mouthed the word trauma and frowned again. Next to me I felt Quatre wince.

 

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Duo's POV

 

Trowa explained everything to me and I called myself a hundred different kinds of idiot. Wufei was in a hospital bed because of my stupidity.

 

“You didn't know Duo.”

 

I shook my head viciously. “That's no excuse. None at all.”

 

I have to give Tro credit, he tried, he really did, but guilt and I were old friends - almost as old as death and I - so there wasn't much he could do but pull me into an embrace and just hold me for a while. It seemed I was still going to cause people I cared about pain. Trowa once told me that it's because you love someone and they love you that you end up hurting the people you care about. He also told me that love without pain wasn't love at all, so with how badly my chest felt I knew I was in love with Fei - though I had known that earlier and I hadn't really needed a reminder.

 

Eventually we pulled apart and went back to the room to find that Wufei was awake. The pain that ran through me broke onto my face but I forced it down and grinned instead. I'd already done enough damage. “Morning Fei! Or should I say afternoon!”

 

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Trowa's POV

 

Not long after Duo spoke we watched tensely as Wufei sat up. The movement seemed to take all of his energy to accomplish. All of us were barely restraining ourselves from rushing forward to help him. The looks that flitted over his face were so quick that they were difficult to decipher. The end result of what he was thinking was that he ended up hyperventilating. I was by his side in a moment; seated on his bed I tilted his face up so that he could see me. “Breathe with me, Wufei. Slowly. Focus. In and out.”

 

Slowly he matched his breathing to mine and went a step further until our hearbeats were the same as well and it was a great relief not to hear the horrible sound of him trying to get enough air into his lungs. “Okay?”

 

Then he smiled and I fell in love all over again.

 

I watched as his lips moved when he tapped me on the arm. “You want to leave?”

 

He nodded curtly and that was all it took for Heero to stand up and nod. “I'll inform Sally so she can get the paperwork in order.” The look on Wufei's face at that declaration when Heero left was priceless.

 

Quatre cleared his throat to get Wufei's attention. “We've already been to your apartment; Sally let us in. We packed anything you might need or want. We even brought your sword.” It was pretty obvious that Wufei was thankful that Quatre didn't ask him any probing questions about his so-called `home'.

 

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Heero's POV

 

He insisted on dressing himself and walking to the wheelchair and because of that he slept the entire way to the shuttleport. I didn't mind though because I got to carry him and he curled into me in a way that made me never want to set him down.

 

*********************************

 

Quatre's POV

 

Duo and Heero were in the cockpit and Trowa was looking for extra blankets when Wufei next woke. He blinked up at me from where his head rested in my lap and I couldn't help but smile down at him, he looked like a tiger cub waking up from a nap. Reaching out I brushed the hair out of his eyes enjoying the feeling of it over my fingers he looked so much younger and less severe with his hair loose. “Hey.”

 

Wufei gave me a half smile before he looked around the passenger area and raised an eyebrow in question.

 

“Heero and Duo are in the cockpit and Trowa's in the cargo hold looking for extra pillows and blankets. He was worried you might be cold with just that tank top and your loose pants; are you? Cold, I mean?”

 

It took him a moment to answer and when he did it was in the form of a uncaring shrug. “Wufei?”

 

That's when hell hit. He was hyperventilating and struggling not to but it wasn't working. Heero and Trowa must have heard my shouts because they were suddenly there. Heero tried slapping him but it only made Wufei pause for a second. In the end we had to use the sedative that Trowa found in the medical kit that Sally had provided us - just in case.

 

Heero absolutely refused to leave him after that. Wrapping him in a blanket he cradled him to his chest protectively. I'd seen Heero like that before over both Duo and myself and the only one who could get through to him when he was like that was Trowa so I went to replace Heero as Duo's co-pilot and to explain to him what had happened to Wufei.

 

Unfortunately, Duo didn't look much better than Wufei and I had a feeling that wouldn't change until Wufei was able to forgive him. I did what I could for Duo by kissing him and holding him for a moment while the shuttle was on autopilot.

 

********************************

 

Heero's POV

 

When we got back to the house I carried Wufei into the house and felt him shift in my arms, stopping I watched as his lips moved. “We've just arrived at the mansion. The others went ahead to arrange your things and see about getting something for you to eat. We only have a few servants here; too many makes everyone but Quatre uncomfortable.” I watched a look cross Wufei's face that tore at my heart and I pulled him as tightly to me as I could. “Don't! Whatever you're thinking, don't.”

 

If anything his expression worsened, becoming something close to guilt. I pulled him as close to me as I could and pressed my lips against his forehead. “Wufei, don't, please don't cause yourself more pain. You've already been through so much, let us help you just this once.”

 

I was surprised when he buried his face in my shoulder and clutched a fistful of my shirt, he didn't cry but I pressed my cheek against the top of his head as I continued to walk to his room. When we got there I placed him under the covers.

 

“Hungry?” Quatre came in with a bowl of soup and a glass of water. When Wufei nodded, Quatre smiled in a way that made me decide that I would have to do something special for Quatre that night.

 

Trowa helped feed Wufei when his hand began shaking so much that he couldn't mange it any more. When he started to fall asleep we tucked him in.

 

********************************

 

Duo's POV

 

I went to check on Wufei about eight in the morning and found him, already washed and dressed, sitting in front of a window in an over-stuffed chair. “You have to be the most stubborn man I know, Chang Wufei.” I was upset and when he silently informed me that he wasn't an invalid I wanted to scream. “I know you're not an invalid, Fei. We all know that but we also know you're human. I just wish you would realize it!” I ended up shouting the last as I turned to leave and then stopped short as I heard his harsh voice for the first time in a long time. Gods I loved his voice.

 

“I do. I-I, I just, I can't, I don't know how to be…” He fell silent and wouldn't look at me. “I was never supposed to live this long. I knew my duty to my clan; I was to lead. It's what I was raised to do but the war they…” It was almost painful to watch the strength of the variety of emotions that crossed his face.

 

Sometime during the exchange the others had joined us and they helped me catch him as he stumbled towards the door and get him to the bed, it was Quatre who spoke first. “It's okay to let go Wufei.”

 

“I-I, I don't know how.”

 

My arms tightened around his waist as Trowa and Heero spoke, Heero only seconds after Tro.

 

“We'll help you.”

 

“Trust us.”

 

I was in front of him, having moved back on my heels so that I could look at him when he spoke next and I nearly cried myself. “I love you. All of you. How could I not when you're everything they tried to get me to be… you're everything I needed to be and so much more.. you're my life…” And he told us what he hadn't told anyone before - he was crying heavily by the end. “It was easy to accept all of you had paired off because it meant you would be happy, I accepted that readily enough but to find out all of you were together, without me… And I wondered… Why? Why not me? Why am I never good enough for anyone? Why can't you even want me? My Clan needed me, to lead at first and then to fight. The Preventers need me for my experience and skill… No one really sees me… I, don't even see me! I don't know anything!: And then he just crumbled and I wanted so much to tell him that he was wrong, that he was damn near perfect even in his faults and that I loved him, we loved him but all I could do was hold but when I met the others eyes I knew that this would never happen again because we weren't going to let him go.