Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Everbody Breaks ❯ Acceptance ( Chapter 23 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Everybody Breaks Part Fourteen: Acceptance

By Kai

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Gundam Wing - and trust me - the boys are VERY thankful for that fact.

Ratings: NC-17 (sexual content and language)

Warnings: Yaoi, 1x2x5x3x4

Special Thanks To Z for taking on the horrible and terrifying job of betaing for me. To think she was actually HAPPY to have the job.

Summary: Coming to terms with yourself, isn't easy, but it still needs to be done.

Acceptance

By Kai

I quickly schooled my face not to show my shock and panic as I felt them, and I did my best to stay detached. Showing any form of emotion around Huang was a decidedly bad idea. I remembered that only too well. I looked at Relena, not as a person or as Heero's best friend or the Vice Minister of Foreign Affairs, but as a thing to be used for gain.

Something in Relena's face changed as she sensed what I was doing. She had grown up around people who acted much as I was, and she seemed to shut part of herself down to deal with it in a less emotional and more analytical manner. I'd apologize to her later. "You made a good choice for my bride Huang. She should have no problem bearing an heir for the Clan, and due to her Royal blood and her current position, it would gain the Clan valuable connections and allies. When do you have the Wedding planned for?" I don't know what I was hoping his answer would be, but his next words weren't it.

His smile grew slightly calculating. "As soon as you and your bride-to-be can change into your wedding outfits. The video up links are ready to send the ceremony over all channels so that no one will be able to doubt the marriage or your position as Lord of the Dragon Clan."

My mind whirled at that, but I was careful to keep my inner turmoil off my face as he spoke. I had to get Huang to do what I wanted, but to accomplish that I had to be what the Elders had tried and almost succeeded in making me. I had to be something I didn't want to be and make it believable.

Nodding coolly, I met Huang's gaze easier than I thought I'd be able to and that worried me slightly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Quatre shift slightly - a movement that exuded sex, despite the fact that he was fully clothed in a three piece suit. His face held a vapid, almost naive, and lust-filled expression that could only be described as single-minded; Sex being the single item in mind.

He was anything but that. Anyone who knew anything about him knew that, yet... it was still a part of him - but only just a part. Just like the cold, detached leader I'd been raised to be was part of me. I'd tried to run from it for nearly three years, and fought against it most of my life but all of that was part of what had shaped me into who I was. I could continue to deny it, hide from it, run from it, or push it away, but it would always be there; or... I could embrace and accept it, like Quatre had... like the others had... and then I could use it to make things better, like a tool. Quatre was right, I was the Eldest of the Elders which meant that I could fix the mistakes of the past.

Where better to start than with the biggest mistake I'd ever made? I felt myself relax slightly, slipping more deftly into my role - because that's what it was - and roles were gained throughout everyone's lives, whether they wanted them or not... some were good: child, spouse, lover, parent, loved one... others weren't but were just as necessary: tough teacher, grieving child, widow/widower... and yet there were other roles that put you outside of society's conventional outlook: revolutionary, opposer, genius, antagonist, hero, enemy... They were all a part of life.

Still looking at Huang, I waited until he ducked his head slightly before I spoke. "Good. We'll start the ceremony as soon as the Princess and I have changed." I cocked my head slightly in the direction of the room adjacent to the Conference room. "We'll change in there. I assume you made the necessary preparations in order to have traditional wedding outfits here for us."

Huang bowed to me. "Of course, my Lord. I will have one of the guards bring them immediately, but perhaps it would be best if Princess Relena were taken to the ladies' restroom by a couple of the female guards that have experience with putting on our traditional garments."

My voice immediately dropped into sub-temperatures as I stared down my nose at him. "I said that we would change in there, or do you dare to question me, Huang?"

He was down on his knees as he realized his error. "My apologies, my Lord. I misspoke."

I narrowed my eyes at him and then ignored him, turning to the guards present instead. "Who is in charge of this Squad?"

A woman stepped forward and kneeled before me. Everything about her, from her looks to the sword at her side, screamed that she was a survivor of the Dragon Clan. "I am, my Lord."

I nodded at her in acknowledgement. "Send someone for the clothes."

She bowed, casting a single look at one of her subordinates as she got back to her feet. The man bowed to her, then to me, and silently removed himself from the room to follow his orders. Once he was gone I face Master Xiang. "You have all that you need Honored Master?"

He nodded, "Yes, my Lord. If I can be allowed to retrieve my supplies so that I might prepare for the ceremony..."

Again I looked to the Squad Leader, ignoring the others - especially Huang. Until I managed to change things the others were beneath my notice. "He is Honored, treat him with respect and insure that he has all the aid he needs."

She bowed again. "Yes, my Lord." With a single look at two others, she had them doing her bidding. If things worked out well and she were alive at the end of this I will have to ask her for her name... but right then, it was beneath me and hardly worth my notice. She could do well in the Dragon Clan; possibly even become a trusted Adviser. But that wasn't now... it existed in a future that might not ever come to pass.

The guard came back with the outfits and I let the Squad Leaders indicate to him that he should take them into the other room. Once they were set inside, I turned my attention back to Huang. "Make the necessary arrangements and do not overstep your bounds again." I didn't wait for a reply, instead I moved over to Relena and indicated with my eyes that she was to bow. She only hesitated a second and then curtsied - which would be acceptable for now; as a foreigner, certain allowances were made, but she would have to learn quickly if she was going to be Mother of the Clan. I offered her my hand and helped her straighten. "I will explain what is expected of you during the ceremony, I will also instruct you on how to dress yourself in your wedding robes."

She cast a quick look at Huang, as if thinking about arguing but remembering some sort of threat, before setting her hand in my own and allowing me to lead her to the room. I didn't know if she was acting or if the disdain and resignation she was displaying were real, but it was the exactly the right thing to do at that moment, and I pretended not to have noticed any of it. The people might be loyal to me and not Huang, but I wasn't certain enough to try anything that would test it; at least, not yet. But when I did, I needed to have them, every last one of the Liberation Front, know that I had nothing to do with the organization or Huang's plans - I had to have them starting to doubt Huang before I tried whatever test I would devise. The wedding ceremony would give me apt opportunity for the first part; I just had to get Relena to go along with the idea. And in order to convince her I needed to talk to her, alone.

I was careful not to rush, but as soon as the door was closed and secured behind us, I faced her. "Relena, I need you to listen carefully to me. I know that you want to marry me about as much as I want to marry you, and I don't think the other ex-pilots or Dorothy will be enthusiastic over the idea either." Her eyes widened at the mention of Dorothy. "Yes, I know about the two of you. I've guarded you on a few occasions, as you'll recall, and I can be highly observant - but I doubt anyone else would have noticed. The two of you are highly discrete."

She relaxed slightly at that and I plunged on. "But what I said out there was the truth. You would make a good match for me in a political marriage and since the Heir of the Dragon Clan must be naturally born, I think you would be perfect for the role of mother as well." There was something in her eyes as I said that and I knew I was on the right track. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't want children and even if I didn't, I will need an Heir. A child from us would be the safest any child could hope to be and it wouldn't lack for love. This marriage has to happen, Huang isn't mentally stable and if I show him that I'm just as filled with emotions as everyone else is, it's over, but at the end of the ceremony I can give a speech that will be able to get a message to the members of his organization..."

Her eyes narrowed in understanding. "So that they'll know the Liberation Front wasn't your idea... what you're saying is that, if we get married, we have options we can discuss later, once this situation has been resolved. Divorce wouldn't be possible for at least a few years but that isn't our only option."

I couldn't help but smile at her, she'd come a long way from the naive little girl she'd been. She knew as well as I did that things didn't always end with a perfect happy ever after, but that they could end up with a happy ever after. Both of us knew the practical nature of the world we'd grown up in and finding a person that could understand and accept those realities wasn't always easy to do. If a marriage didn't have understanding, it couldn't be a partnership. More than a few political and love matches had ended in misery because of that lack of acceptance. "Exactly. If I married a woman who did not have a caring lover already - more specifically - if I married a woman with a male lover it could only work if we were both monogamous because any child she conceived would have to be mine and my honor would never allow me to force monogamy on her if I did not also commit to it as well."

She nodded in complete understanding. "But I can't get pregnant by my lover if my lover is female, so neither of us needs to be monogamous. We can be with those we love and still do what society requires in order to gain what we want."

"Yes." I let out a bit of a sigh. "It's not the sort of proposal women would appreciate..."

She snorted and moved over to the outfits. "Just get us out of here in one piece with as little blood spilled as possible and we'll call it even. After all, once I'm married to you, I won't have to worry about lecherous old men or overly ambitious young ones. Now, how do I get into this and what's expected of me."

I found myself smiling at her, a smile she warmly returned. Perhaps I had made the right decision in becoming 'Lord Wufei' once again. I just hoped my... lovers agreed, but I'd just have to deal with that when it came. Every path begins with a single step, and mine was certainly no different.

*******************************

Throughout the ceremony, I had the strongest urge to look at Quatre to gauge his reaction and see what he thought. Out of my four lovers, I figured he'd be the one that truly understood. Relena did well during the ceremony; she was almost as quick as Duo. I found myself thinking about what a child from the two of us would be like. Relena was a beautiful young woman and Zechs was drop-dead gorgeous, with genetics like that - a child of ours would have a 50 percent chance of being equally good-looking. I shook myself out of my thoughts quickly, there was not certainty of a child yet.

The motions of the ceremony were somewhat mechanical for me as I was still focused on what I would say at the end of it.

As Master Xiang finished and announced to everyone watching that we were joined as Husband and Wife, Lord and Lady; I bowed to him and opened my mouth to speak the words that would either help or hurt us. "I am Lord Chang Wufei of the Dragon Clan. I do plan to rebuild L5 as well as the Dragon Clan, but I have no intention of doing so with the aid of the Liberation Front. The Liberation Front was never my organization. It was created by Lee Huang, without my knowledge or input. However, those of you who are members of the Liberation Front do have a choice. You can join me and leave the Front or you can continue to follow Huang. Those of you who were involved in criminal activities will have to be held accountable for your actions, of course, but I promise to stand by you as you do. As for the rest of the nextrix, it needs to be turned over to the Preventers and once it has been, I will lead you. I will lead you into a new age for the Dragon Clan and L5."

It couldn't have been a long speech, because once Huang understood exactly what I was saying he would cut the feed and I needed to have everyone hear all of the points I had to make.

I caught a glimpse of Huang's face as I finished and the only word to describe it was; murderous.

********************

I managed to catch a glimpse of Quatre and, though he hid it well, I think he was worried. I knew I needed to gain control of the situation before Huang managed to cut my hard work off at the knees. Carefully shoving my worry, fear, anger, and everything else that was fighting to gain 'face' time aside, I cast a quick glance over those gathered to give the impression that I was looking for someone, then I pretended to spot Huang. In actuality, I never forgot where he was. It would be like forgetting that there was a poisonous scorpion perched on your shoulder. "Huang, I believe it would be best if you and I spoke privately." With a wave of my hand, I indicated the room Relena and I had changed in earlier.

His eyes narrowed into angry slits. "I believe that would be a good idea, my Lord." The heat in his voice and the tone of impertinence he used caused more than a couple of his men... our men, I came to realize - maybe even just my men... to shift uncomfortably. Like they were watching a fight between their mom and dad and they were strongly hoping not to have to choose between the two.

It even seemed as if they knew his temper as well as I did, at least, that's what the worried and slightly protective looks in my direction indicated. Hopefully I wasn't reading into the situation more than what I should, because, if I was right - things would end up going as I hoped. If I was wrong, I would have to fight my way out - something that might have been possibly, if the Front members were unarmed and less skilled, and if I didn't have to worry about two non-combatants. I felt I could trust the three bodyguards to take care of themselves, and Quatre was one of the best fighters I'd ever seen - he might not be as skilled as the other ex-pilots but he surpassed nearly everybody else, but that still left Relena and Master Xiang, both of which would need protection.

So, I had to continue to aim for their loyalty and hope I had it. After all, it must have belonged to me at one point or none of them would have been swayed to join. It was somewhat difficult to believe that I could have been the inspiration behind everything, but I was quickly beginning to understand just how blind I had been. The comments from Alisa's husband, Agent Cantonelli's parents, as well as Agent Russo were too hard to deny.

It was about time I started justifying the trust people were so willing and intent to place in me and not just the Preventers Agents or the Clan survivors, but my lovers and... my new wife. They believed in me or they wouldn't have gone along with any of my suggestions or ideas.

In the end, I didn't wait for Huang to move; choosing, instead, to lead and make him follow. My choice, my rules. I had made this my battleground, my territory and I would be damned if I lost here.

Huang followed me into the room, careful to shut and lock the door behind us. Seconds later he used a knife to take care of the only camera in the room and any witnesses to what might occur between us. It was both a smart and stupid move. Smart, because there could be no real certainty about what happened but stupid, because it would raise suspicions and doubts. And that, I realized, was Huang's fatal flaw. He thought of himself as an extension of the Leader of the Dragon Clan. He thought he was seen as a part of me and because of that he didn't believe that it was possible for anyone in the Liberation Front to betray him. He saw himself as so far above that possibility that it had never even occurred to him. But he had showed inconsistency - that he wasn't everything they had believed him to be, that he'd hidden part of himself. That was something I had never done... I'd always been the same to everyone. Something that had only started to change recently and then, only with my lovers. Those who came to the Liberation Front, came because they believed they knew me; and they did - do. They knew the part of me that was meant for them: the leader, brother-in-arms... the commander and warrior. They knew me and they were just beginning to see that they didn't really know Huang, and he was doing most of the work for me.

**********************************

For the next ten minutes following Huang's blinding of the camera, we just glared at each other. It was almost as if he were trying to get me to admit defeat. Where my stubborn nature could often bring me trouble, it served me well this time; he looked away first. Of course, it didn't do anything to sooth his ruffled feathers any.

When he managed to meet my gaze again, it almost seemed as though he were trying to see through me, something that clearly showed just how mentally unstable he was. When I got a good look into his eyes, I saw that he wasn't fully in the reality that I knew and that put me at a disadvantage as I didn't have any idea what his world was like. "Why did you say that, Lord Wufei? Why did you tell them that you didn't want anything to do with this army that I've created for you? You could do so much for the world, not only L5 or the Dragon Clan. With you as the true leader of the Earth and colonies, no one of a false bloodline, like Trieze or his daughter, would ever be able to lay claim!"

My stomach twisted at the idea of ruling that many... it had been difficult for me to accept my role as Lord Chang, Leader of the Dragon Clan and L5... it wasn't likely that I could ever get to the point where I'd even be able to seriously consider anything more, but lecturing Huang or ranting at him wasn't going to achieve anything except possibly pushing him towards a psychotic break. Something I didn't really want to risk until I had no choice. So I stood calmly as I watched his chest shake with rapid breaths. I tried to get myself to the point where I was basically meditating; only standing up. "What made you think that this is what I wanted, Huang?"

A frown marred his otherwise charming face, and for a brief moment he seemed lost - but only briefly. "I waited, but when there was no sign of you coming forward to lead us, I knew it was a sign that you were waiting for us to make the first move. That you wanted us to show our strength and that we were ready."

"And that's why you sent men to gun me down?" My tone was neutral and the stress on the words made them sound more innocent than they were.

The way I was behaving seemed to be relaxing Huang slightly, though he was still highly agitated. "Not to kill or injure you, Lord. Their orders were merely to make it appear as if you were in danger, to prove to the world that the Preventers couldn't even take care of their own Commander."

I chose not to point out that it was the Commander's job to protect his people, not the other way around. Instead, I inclined my head slightly, letting him read it as he wished. "This is not how I wish to revive the Dragon Clan. It was nearly destroyed because of pride, war, and arrogance. I will not have it reborn through the very things that nearly tore it from the world. The Liberation Front is connected to such things and therefore it has no place in the Dragon Clan's future."

Huang was actually gaping at me in confusion, and I began to feel the tiniest hint of sadness for him. He'd done many evil things, but at least he had the excuse of true insanity, far too many did likewise and lacked any excuse whatsoever. "But, my Lord, with the nextrix, few would dare to challenge our might."

"Nextrix?" I said, but I put my many questions into the word - struggling to remain detached.

"The explosive we used at Preventers, my Lord, surely you know of it by now."

"Ah, yes. And where might it be Huang?" I was worried that the question was too direct, but he seemed to believe he could convince me of the validity of his plan and it didn't deter him from answering it.

"It's been safely stored at the Santini Mansion Grounds, for future endeavours."

I felt my knees weaken slightly in relief because he wasn't lying. It wasn't set up to become a bomb and it wasn't in the basement of the Conference building. "Mrs. Santini? The Preventers' Board Member?"

He nodded proudly. "Yes, she's a descendant of the Clan, though her blood is not as pure as most, she is loyal."

"What about the Imperial Guards, Huang? Why aren't they by your side?"

That was the wrong thing to ask. It seemed to trigger the anger that had nearly been forgotten. "Master Shen... he listened to my plans and then told me, me that you would have nothing to do with such ludicrous ideas! I couldn't allow him to live! If he had, he would have destroyed everything!" My expression of indifference must have slipped because in the next moment his anger was directed at me and he was lashing out verbally. "You've become weak again. Only the strong can rule. Only the strong can lead. I will make you stronger."

I side-stepped a barrage of emotionally charged knife slashes directed at me, before I was able to grab his wrist and twist it, causing the knife to drop to the carpeted floor. With a low sweeping kick, I sent it towards the far wall before facing Huang again.

If Huang were thinking rationally, he would know that he was going to lose before he'd even started the fight. In hand-to-hand combat he was simply no match, unfortunately his instability aided him by making him slightly unpredictable and he charged at me, taking me by surprise as he slammed me against the wall. I managed to absorb most of the impact by tensing slightly and bracing myself against the wall in time to get a knee between us to push him away. Not wanting to risk a longer confrontation, I dodged out of the way as he attacked again, then quickly pressed a few pressure points as I did. Afterwards, I used his knife to cut strips of material from his jacket to bind him with.

Then, instead of running out to deal with the issues in the next room, I sat down to meditate for fifteen minutes. I had to be balanced before I tried to test the loyalty of the men and women on the other side of the door.

***********************************

When I finally re-entered the room, it was to find the Squad leader moving towards the door I'd just exited from. The relief on her face was unmistakable. A quick scan of the room showed fewer guards and that Quatre was missing, but the looks on the two Maganacs' faces re-assured me that he was probably fine. One problem at a time. I met the Squad leader's questioning look and prayed to Nataku that I was right about her loyalty. "Huang is no longer in charge of the Liberation Front because he is under arrest. Due to that fact, there is no Liberation Front any longer. However, I still remain. I wish to make that offer known to all present."

She seemed a bit stunned but recovered quicker than most could have. "You will lead us, my Lord?"

I nodded seriously. "On my honor and my life."

Slowly she put her gun on safety and slid it back into her holster. The others followed her example without a word. The uncertainty and doubts that had plagued their faces were gone. I held out my hand to the Squad leader and she placed her com unit into it. "If I might have your attention..." My voice was steady and sure as I spoke into it, because for the first time in a long time I was steady and sure. These people not only needed me but wanted me - they'd chosen me and perhaps the others would as well. "This is Chang Wufei. As you may have already realized from my earlier speech, until today I had no knowledge or input into the actions of the Liberation Front. However, I believe I understand why each of you has joined the organization. Unfortunately, you were misled and the resulting acts hold consequences that must be accepted. No one is above making mistakes, but the true worth of a person isn't measured by their mistakes instead it is measured by their willingness to admit they were wrong and to make up for their errors. I meant what I said earlier. I will rebuild L5 and lead you if you wish but justice must be served first. Those responsible for criminal actions must accept the punishments of the Courts. Once their time has been served, they will be welcome on L5 and into the Dragon Clan. Now, if you truly meant for me to be your Lord and lead you from this point until my death then obey me now. Lay down your weapons and surrender. No harm will come to any of you between this moment and the announcement of the Court's punishment. If you agree to this, gather on the main floor and each Squad leader, report to me as you decide."

I was a bit surprised when the Squad leader immediately took the com from me and spoke into it without hesitation. "I, Chang Lin Mei, of the Dragon's Elite Squad, hear my Lord's orders and obey."

That's all it took to validate what I'd said because other Squad leaders began to respond similarly. The Squad with us set their weapons at my feet, bowing as they did so, and I knew I could do this, I was certain of it the moment Lin Mei told me that all Squads had reported in and none had been negative.

Not long after that the door to the room opened slowly and I heard Quatre's sweet voice. "It's just me Lord Chang, and a couple of mutual friends."

I couldn't stop a smile as I said, "Come in, Quatre." When he walked in with Duo and Trowa, the only thing that could have made me happier would have been if Heero had been there, but I knew I'd see him soon.