Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Goodbye To You ❯ Goodbye To You ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Warnings: A touch of angst. Reasons and explanations for the ton are in the author's notes at the end.

//song lyrics//

~+ Goodbye To You +~

//Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by//

"Why?"

Trowa sighed mentally and turned to smile slightly over his shoulder. A few years ago he would not have had an answer... hell, a few years ago he wouldn't be where he was at this moment, leaving behind the man he loved and beginning anew.

Tears were starting to form, but he would not cry.

//I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend//

"Why, Fei?" he said instead. "We both know it's a waste of time to keep trying."

Wufei shook his head; he couldn't believe what he was hearing. For the past few months, he had noticed a distance forming between them. The Chinese man had simply shrugged it off, dismissing it as part of growing up. Interests change, after all, and they were both leaving behind their pasts as Gundam pilots.

Still, he had never expected his angel to say goodbye.

//And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to//

"That's not true, Tro," he argued. "We went through hell together, went to the ends of the earth and colonies just so we could live our lives. How can you stand there and say that you don't love me anymore."

Green eyes softened: "I didn't say that I don't love you, dragon. I still love you, I'll always love you. But we've grown apart."

Wufei nodded slightly. That much was true, he supposed. The last of the Dragon Clan had made friends with some of the other Preventers in his division, while the Latino had turned to the arts. Their social circles were far different, yet Wufei was so sure that everything was going well in their life together that he didn't think twice about spending extra time with his friends.

Perhaps some of that time should have been spent with Trowa, true. But everything had been perfect... hadn't it?

//I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right//

"Can't we try again?" Wufei asked, eyes filled with hope and a touch of despair. His heart dropped at the slow shake of Trowa's head.

"I've been very patient, love," he said softly. "I've tried to spend evenings with your friends. I've put aside shows and exhibitions so that we can spend evenings together. I even thought about giving up my painting.

"But every time it looks like things might be working, that we might be able to go back to the way things were, something happens and you have to either go off on assignment or one of the guys needs your help right away." The tall brunette shook his head again.

"I'm sorry, Wufei. But I can't do it anymore."

//Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to//

"what can i do, tro?" the Chinese man whispered as his lover of three years turned once more to pick up his bags. "how can i make you stay?"

//And it hurts to want everything nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine//

The Latino stopped at the door, hand on the doorknob. For a heartbreaking moment, it seemed that he would leave without answering. Then:

"give me your heart. let me back in. if you can get your heart back to where we used to be, back to the place i've always been, then i can stay."

//I want you
But I'm not giving in this time//

Silence answered the former pilot of HeavyArms. Trowa closed his eyes, a stray tear making its way down his cheek.

As he expected, Wufei had grown too far away from him to come back.

//Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew//

"//You were the one I loved//," he said softly, stepping out into the night. "//The one thing that I tried to hold on to.// But I can't hold on alone. I'll always love you, but this is the best for both of us."

//The one thing that I tried to hold on to//

As the door closed with an air of finality, Wufei dropped his head into his hands and wept.

In the driveway, Trowa climbed into his Jeep and pulled away. As he drove away, the house disappearing from sight, the last notes of a Michelle Branch song played on the radio:

//And when the stars fall I will lie awake
You're my shooting star//

~+ Owari +~

Author's Notes: I realize this is far from my greatest work. I also realize it's rather on the depressing side. The truth of the matter is, for a while now I've felt myself drifting from my dearest friend, and my heart is breaking a little every day.

I don't know if my friend has noticed my pain, I don't even know if my friend thinks of me as a friend any more. I used these characters (Trowa and Wufei) for a reason, one that I don't wish to delve into. My heart is hurting far too much for me to even say; even a day spent with my mom hasn't helped the pain any.

So this is therapy. I still hold onto the hope that my friend and I can remain strong, that we can work through the rift between us and become close again. But day by day that hope in me dwindles.

I love you, my friend, and I don't want to say goodbye. But if this is the end, I will try to be strong. Don't worry for me, I'm a big girl.

One day my heart will be whole again. For now though, I'm finished with these notes. Ja matte.