Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Love Lost and Found Again ❯ Realization ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A/N: Okay sorry this chapter has taken so long. That's kinda what happens when you start writing when you only have half the storyline finished in your head. Haha, I'm not even sure how many people actually read this. But if you do, review please. Thanks.

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing. Sigh.

Chapter 4: Realization

(Duo's POV)

They had started talking more. Alex had been at their hideout for 10 days, and she seemed to be easing into things. At least she was smiling more as she talked, but I could see in the corner of her eyes when she would surreptitiously look for exits in every room she walked into. Maybe Duo was just being paranoid, seeing as he and the rest of the guys did that same thing all the time when they were in public, but he had to remember she was still sort of a “hostage” with them. Sure they trusted her enough to leave her in the place on her own and cook for them - more than they could say about anyone else they knew - but they didn't let her out. Ever. It's for her own safety, as well as ours. Bull. He just wanted her around. But the other guys hadn't contradicted it, so it wasn't as if it was an entirely selfish decision.

It was just that, when Alex walked into a room and smiled at him, his heart would beat faster and he would be fumbling for things to say until he came up with common ground again. They were comfortable, but he had the sinking feeling she had no idea how much she really meant to him. It wasn't like he could tell her either. She was Wufei's cousin, and it was weird enough as it is that one of her captors was related to her let alone another one falling for her.

Duo sighed. Things were so complicated.

“Is something wrong?”

Duo jumped and turned around. How did she manage to get behind him? You were too busy thinking about her to notice much else, idiot. “Why would you say that?”

She nibbled her lip and said, “Oh it's just that you sounded a little frustrated when you sighed just then.”

Damn her perceptiveness. “Oh it was nothing. I had been thinking about the code I still have to write for the upcoming mission. It's going to be hell for them to figure out.” Duo didn't lie, he just didn't always tell the whole truth. He had been thinking about that problem for all of 5 minutes before his mind sidetracked to her.

She grinned at him. “Good luck on that.” Then she walked into the kitchen area to where Quatre was reading the paper. She smiled and gave him a quick morning hug before he surrendered half of his newspaper to her. She had asked Quatre to read parts of his newspaper and it had become a bit of a routine for him to give her half and trade later. They sat in companionable silence as Trowa walked in and fixed himself breakfast. Heero and Wufei were on a complicated mission and they wouldn't be back for another week or so. Life was good at the moment. He looked at her for a little while longer before he stretched and looked over at his computer. He really did have a couple hours of programming left to do. Better get to work.

(Alex's POV)

Quatre and Trowa left for another mission. There was only Duo and Alex left in the house. This made Duo hyperalert, trying at the same time to be near her and to stay as far away as possible. Alex was confused, but attributed it to stress from the hacking assignment Heero had e-mailed him a little while back. So she smiled for him, and cooked for him as if nothing was wrong, and she left him alone as much as possible, thinking he would want his own space for awhile.

Even with four less people in the house, however, they still kept managing to run into each other in embarrassing situations. Duo accidentally walked in as Alex was getting out of the shower. Needless to say, both parties turned completely red and Duo was suspiciously absent for the rest of the day. Alex accidentally spilled a cup of juice on his lap and in her hurry to clean up, she started dabbing at his crotch with a napkin. She nervously dropped the napkin in his lap and left in a hurry stating that she should probably get a towel to clean up the rest and he should probably change his pants.

Since when had things started getting so awkward between us? Alex mused. It wasn't as if they had never been alone together before. She sighed as she changed into her night shirt. I would be lying if I said, even though it was embarrassing, that I didn't enjoy tripping all over him. Alex smiled as she headed into the bathroom. Duo had been watching television, so the bathroom should be empty for a little while longer.

That's when she heard it, his rapid breathing and quick slight sobs. She hesitated, her hand resting on the bathroom door. She finally made up her mind and walked inside, only to find Duo hunched in the corner gasping for air. Alex made her way over to him and put her arms around him slowly. His soldier instincts tended to go on the attack if anything was too sudden, but she eased him over to her, until he was leaning against her while she stroked his back, murmuring wordlessly in his ear until he calmed.

She smiled at him softly, “What's wrong?”

He grinned weakly, “I was reminded of something that I should've forgotten.” He wrinkled his nose a little. “I should've stayed away from the horror flicks on the television.”

Alex smiled involuntarily. “Yeah, well you should be careful, those movies can give little kids nightmares.” A pause. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Duo glanced at her, his expression unreadable. Then he looked down and was silent. Alex was almost afraid she offended him when he spoke up softly. “I used to live in a church, over in L2. It was called the Maxwell Church. Father Maxwell brought me in and Sister Helen took care of me. She was the first one who braided my hair.” He stroked his braid a little wistfully. “It was the first real family I had ever really known. But that all changed when the military burnt down the church.” Fists clenched, he continued, “I was too young to do anything, too rash and impulsive to think things through.” In a smaller voice, one she almost couldn't hear, he stated simply, “I was the last one left.”

Laughing aloud, he said in a more boisterous tone, “Serves me right, huh! I shouldn't be watching movies about fires and little kids anyway. The stories aren't even all that similar.”

Alex watched his face sadly. His mask was sliding back on, the jester mask he tried to use to avoid getting hurt. She pulled him close again and held him with her head on his chest.

“Oi, oi. What's wrong?”

“Stop pretending damnit,” Alex muttered. “It hurts. I know how it feels. I watched as dozens of my closest friends got obliterated on L5 and I watched my parents die in front of my eyes. Don't tell me it doesn't hurt.”

Eyes darkening, Duo paused before letting out a small breath. “I never lie. That's my motto. I may run and hide, but I never lie. Yes, it hurts, but there's no way to solve it. I should just leave it where it belongs, in the past. I'm sorry about your family. I really am.” He tried to extricate himself from her.

Her arms around him tightened. She turned her head and looked at him. “I don't think I would ever be able to forget or just leave it behind. It's a part of who I am. It hurts, but holding it away somewhere deep inside will make it hurt even more. Just let go.”

Duo snarled, “Look, just because you think you know me doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do, what to feel. I don't need you to care about me so STOP TRYING.” Alex let go and stepped back, looking as if she had been slapped. She turned away, but not before Duo had seen a shimmer in her eyes. “Aw, wait. I didn't mean to… I didn't mean it. Look at me please?”

Alex took a breath and turned around smiling. “No, it's okay I get it. I'm going to bed now.” She pivoted quickly and left.

(Duo's POV)

That could've gone better. You're a complete ass. Duo pounded himself on the head. He wished he wasn't him, just so that he could give himself a beating. He had to go in and apologize. He nodded to himself. Yes, that's what had to be done.

Knocking hesitantly on the door, he said, “Alex?” He pushed door in slightly and saw that she had turned out all the lights and was sprawled out on the bed. “Hey, you awake?”

She turned to look at him, he eyes luminescent in the shadows. She gave him a half smile.

His heart broke at her expression. She looked so hurt, but smiled for him just the same. “I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm so sorry. I was just… I was a little sensitive over everything, and—I....” His breath caught in his throat as Alex climbed off the bed and ambled toward him, clad only in one of his own old black t-shirts.

“And?” she said softly, looking up at him.

“And…” He swallowed convulsively. It was now or never. “I couldn't stop thinking about how much I think I love you. I mean, I spent so long wanting to hold you and the one time I do it's because I'm being fucking lame and crying about a nightmare.” His lips quirked in a sardonic smile but it faded as she looked at him without expression, as if searching for something.

Apparently she found what she was looking for and was satisfied, because she suddenly grinned and tiptoed so she could brush her lips slightly against his. “I think I love you too,” she murmured. “I just thought you were gay.”

Duo laughed out loud, “Well, to tell you the truth I did too until I met you.” And with that, he leaned down and kissed her.

It wasn't until the morning when Duo woke up and found himself tangled up naked in her sheets that he realized he was happier than he had been in a long time. She murmured in her sleep and pulled herself closer to him, her curves fitting nicely in with his body. Yes, this felt right. He pulled her close again and closed his eyes.

A/N: Yes, they slept together. You can imagine all the little details on your own. I'm sure you guys are pretty good at that. *Grins*