Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Remember when... ❯ Life loves a tragedy part 5 ( Chapter 5 )

We do not own the rights to GW! Never have and never will!

Warnings: Angst, language, slight OOC

Archived at: AFF, MM, and www.templeofthegoddess.com

Part five of 'Life loves a tragedy' by Sparkling Diamond PG-SSM & Saiyajin_Raven69

It felt like a typical Friday in Duo's book. He was tired, a little on the grumpy side, but nothing out of the ordinary. He got up before his alarm went off, dressing himself in the best clothes he owned. Simple black pants, a white cotton dress shirt, and a tie that he couldn't remember buying, but had been in his closet for a long time. Duo never had been one to dress up, he had never felt the need to buy a suit, but now he was kicking himself in the ass because he knew he'd stick out like a sore thumb amongst his wealthy friends.

He crept quietly from the bedroom, careful not to wake Aleana. He couldn't afford a cranky baby today, knowing that he'd have little to no chance of putting her down for a nap in the afternoon.

"What are you doing up so early?" A quiet voice startled Duo, coming from the open doorway of the bathroom.

"I could ask you the same thing." Duo replied, meeting Wufei's eyes in his reflection in the small mirror over the sink.

"Same as you, I suppose. It's going to be long day; may as well get a jump on it." He finished tying off his hair with a black elastic band, and turned to smile at Duo. "You have a visitor in the kitchen, by the way."

Duo sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. He had one guess, and that would be Quatre, the early riser. He strode the few steps down the short hallway to the kitchen, muttering under his breath. "Quat, I swear to god, if you…"

"Do I look like Quatre? I swore I had a better figure than him."

Duo's eyes widened, and his jaw dropped open, totally surprised at the unexpected visitor. He gaped for a few moments at the smiling face of his old friend, before wordlessly throwing himself into her open arms.

"It's nice to see you too, Duo." Hilde whispered, wrapping her arms around him, squeezing him tightly.

"What are you doing here? How'd you get here so fast? Who's watching the yard?"

The girl gave him an extra squeeze, and released the flabbergasted teen. "One question at a time, huh?" She said, playfully tweaking his nose. "I came because you needed me, Duo. I couldn't have lived with myself if I didn't come for your baby's funeral. The yard is fine without me for one day; I've got some really great guys working for me. They've got my number if they need me, but I doubt that they will."

"How long are you staying?" Duo asked, as his friend ushered him to a chair at the round table.

"I'm booked on the red-eye shuttle home tonight. The guys can do without me for a day, but I don't want to push my luck!" She winked at him. "Now sit down, mister, I brought breakfast."

"Hilde!" Duo glowered, giving her that look that meant he wasn't going to accept it.

"Sit down and eat! The last time we were together, you bought breakfast, so now it's my turn." She said, with a dismissive wave of one hand. "Wufei? Breakfast."

The dark haired girl sighed, plopping herself down in a chair next to her best friend. The flight from L2 was long, and getting to the apartment from the shuttle port seemed to take even longer, in the tiny car she'd rented. She hadn't seen Duo for well over a year, and his pale, gaunt appearance surprised her. She had seen him on the vid-phone when he'd called two nights ago, but the darkness of the room hid just how much he'd changed since she'd last seen him.

The call in itself was shocking. She tried to keep in touch with Duo as much as possible, usually through e-mail, due to the exorbitant cost of phone calls between Earth and the colonies. She'd known about Aleana from the first day her friend had taken her in, but Miranda was a complete surprise.

"Duo? I think Aleana is awake." Wufei said, looping his tie into the perfect knot as he entered the kitchen.

"Damn it, I wanted her to sleep a little longer." The longhaired teen grumbled, getting up from the table, and stumbling from the kitchen. He turned back to look over his shoulder at his friends as he walked away. "I need to make a phone call while I'm in here; I need to let Mrs. Gregory know about the funeral this morning. I'm sure she's wondering about the details. I meant to call her last night. I'll be back out in a few minutes."

"He's not himself." Hilde noted, pushing around the scrambled eggs that clung disturbingly to the Styrofoam container they sat in.

"How did you come to that conclusion? He hardly said five words." Wufei replied, snatching up a small container of orange juice off the table, before taking the chair across from Hilde.

"Because if he were himself, he would have been talking my ear off by now. Normally he goes on and on about Aleana, school, work; I usually can't get him to shut up! Since his call the other night, though, I've never seen him so…so defeated. No maniac grin, no babbling about Aleana. He really thought when you walked out that he'd just lost one more friend."

"I left to cool down. It would have done more harm than good to fight over…"

"I know what the fight was about." Hilde interrupted. "Duo told me everything, right down to him jumping your back about the food. In his mind, he was doing the best that he could, Wufei. It might have not been the right decision on his part, but he sees it from your point of view now."

"I was just worried. You see what he looks like. He's so thin, and so pale. It's obvious that he doesn't take care of himself, he's too busy taking care of the girls, and trying to get his degree when he barely makes enough money to support himself."

"We all worry about him. I know he thinks that we mother hen him to death some times. He's taken on so much since he left Heero. He's trying to forget about his past so he can move on."

"If I could be so forward, Hilde, why aren't you two together?" Wufei asked, tearing apart a bagel without looking up to meet the girl's eyes.

Hilde covered her mouth to stifle the laugh that erupted. She smiled apologetically when Wufei looked up at her, surprised at her reaction. "Sorry, but that's funny, really it is. I love him, but I don't feel for him like that. We're like brother and sister. We wouldn't make it as lovers, or whatever. Now you on the other hand…" Her eyes twinkled with mischief as the Chinese teen stared at her, daring her to continue.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to assume anything, Wufei. I just figured by the way he talked about you the other night that something was going to happen between the two of you."

Wufei frowned, unsure of where the girl could have gotten the idea of something romantic going on from her conversation with Duo. He opened his mouth to ask just what Duo had said, when the boy in question swept into the room, with Aleana balanced on his hip.

"Say good morning to Uncle Wu and Auntie Hilde, Sunshine." The teen said in a sing-song voice, proudly showing off his beautiful daughter to his friend who had never met her.

Aleana was wearing the outfit that Wufei had bought for her. The dress was soft yellow, with tiny embroidered daisies sprinkled over the skirt, with matching ruffled bloomers covering her diapered behind. The saleswoman at the store had thoughtfully pressed Wufei into buying matching sandals, which were white with a small silk daisy on the toe straps. The baby was busy thwapping her daddy with the white eyelet bonnet that she obviously thought was a toy, rather than apparel.

"Oh my, she's even more beautiful in person." Hilde grinned, taking the girl from him, and sitting her on her lap.

Duo beamed proudly, watching as his best friend became acquainted with his daughter. After a moment, he turned to the counter, busying himself with making Aleana's breakfast, and double checking to make sure that he had enough bottles, diapers and toys in the diaper bag.

"Does she walk yet, Duo?"

"Umm, no, but not for the lack of trying." Duo smiled, watching Aleana standing on Hilde's lap with a cross look on her face.

"She doesn't look happy. What's the matter sweetie?" Hilde asked in falsetto, making a grouchy face back at the baby, when Aleana broke into a wail.

"Ahh, I don't think that she likes me." Hilde grimaced, holding the child out for Duo to take, when Wufei scooped her up in his arms.

"Just finish what you need to do, Duo. I've got her."

"Thanks, 'Fei." Duo smiled, handing him a bottle, a bib, and a drool cloth. "She's a spitter. You've gotta watch her pretty closely to make sure she doesn't get any milk on herself or you!" Wufei nodded, frowning slightly, before taking Aleana out of the kitchen, and into the living room.

______________________________________________________________________ __

An hour later, the baby had been fed without messing up her pretty clothes, and all three adult occupants of the shabby apartment were dressed and ready to begin their somber day, when the shrill ring of the vid-phone disturbed the quiet. Not surprisingly, a blonde ex-pilot popped up on the screen when the call was answered.

Duo sat down heavily in the chair in front of the view screen. Although Quatre's visit the day before had been welcome, and he had been very glad that his friend hadn't turned his back on their friendship, he still was wary about the visit in general. Quatre had been as generous and caring as he always had been, and although Trowa's visit was brief, he had shown Duo with no uncertainty that he was there for the braided boy. There was still the presence of Heero to be faced, and Duo just wasn't sure that he was ready to take that bull by the horns. Thankfully, Quatre seemed to be alone at the other end of their phone connection.

"Good morning, Duo. How are you feeling today?" the blonde boy asked.

"Hey, Q-ball. I've seen better days. You?"

The small Arabian smiled fondly at the nickname that Duo had dubbed him with during the first war. "I'm fine. I just wanted to know what time to meet you two for Miranda's services. Would you like us to pick you up?"

Just then, Hilde leaned over Duo's shoulder, waving at Quatre. "Got room for me in that big ol' limo, Mr. Winner?"

"Well, hello Hilde!" the blonde smiled warmly. "I didn't know you were here! Of course we have room for you."

"Hey, wait just a minute! Hold your horses, you guys. I don't want to ride in a car with Heero!" Duo said hastily. "You guys can meet us at the cemetery; I can call a cab to come get us, here."

A look of consternation crossed the blonde's face briefly. He had hoped that maybe Wufei would have talked Duo down from his strong feelings against his Japanese lover, but apparently that hadn't happened. He almost wished that he had left the boy behind on L4. His presence was obviously causing more stress for an already frazzled Duo.

He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Duo. I'm between a rock and a hard place. It's my fault that Heero is even here on Earth with us; he was fairly adamant against coming, but I forced him to. Now, though, he is just as adamant about making amends with you. I don't think I can keep him from attending the funeral. You know how he is when he sets his mind to something."

Duo huffed. "Fine. It's a free country, he can go wherever he wants. I just don't have to deal with him. I'm not riding in a car with him, and that's final."

Hilde broke in on the conversation. "You know, I have a rental car. It's tiny, so I don't think I have room for all three of us." She looked pointedly at Wufei. "There's really not room in the backseat for a long-legged adult, but I can take you and Aleana." She said, returning her gaze to her best friend.

"Wu? Would you mind riding with the other guys?" Duo spun in the revolving desk chair to look pleadingly at the Chinese teen. "You know where the cemetery is, so you can tell them how to get there."

______________________________________________________________________ __

When the black stretch limo arrived, Duo was strapping Aleana into the back seat of the compact economy car that Hilde had rented at the shuttle port. The girl had apologized over and over for the dingy little vehicle. She had spent a large portion of her savings on the last minute shuttle trip to Earth, so had too little left over to rent a larger, newer model. She was relegated to accepting the cheapest car on the rental lot, and was now sorry that she hadn't splurged on the nicer sedan.

Once the baby was safely settled in her seat, Duo backed himself out of the pint-sized car, and turned to face Quatre and Trowa. "So, did you manage to shackle Heero up to the back of a city bus somewhere for me?"

"Oh, Duo!" Quatre sighed, as he embraced the braided boy.

Trowa thumped his hand on Duo's back a couple of times while the two smaller boys hugged. "Sorry. He's in the car. I could muzzle him for you, if you'd like."

Duo pulled away from the blonde boy, smiling wryly at Trowa. "Thanks, Tro." He wasn't sure if he was thanking Trowa for the light-hearted comment that made him grin, or just for being there. He did know that Trowa would understand either way.

An indignant shriek from the back seat let them know that Aleana was getting aggravated at being strapped into a car seat, and ignored. "There's our cue!" Duo smiled sadly. "Guess we'd better get this show on the road."

All the teens piled into their respective vehicles, directions in hand, and began the 9 mile trek to the cemetery, which was located on the outskirts of the city; far removed from the dirt, smog and poverty of their current surroundings.

All was quiet in the small car, Aleana having fallen asleep the minute the vehicle hit the highway. Duo leaned his forehead against the cool glass of his window, idly counting the construction barrels that slowly passed through his line of vision. Finally, Hilde couldn't take the silence any longer, and decided to fill the space between them.

"So, Duo…how did you come to have Miranda? I knew about Aleana, but you haven't told me the circumstances around how you got the baby."

Duo turned his head and smiled wistfully at his friend. "I wish you'd gotten to meet her, Hilde. She was the sweetest thing. I don't know how any mother could have given her up." He looked down at his hands, not really seeing them, but seeing back in time to when he had first come across the tiny girl.

"She was just left at the free clinic that I take Aleana to for her check ups. I guess the mother stepped in the door of the lobby, put down the car seat, and ran. She was brand new. I'd had her three days before her umbilical cord even fell off. The docs at the clinic said she'd been delivered in a hospital, 'cause she had a bracelet on, but the mother's name on it was fake, so even the hospital where she was born couldn't find her."

"And the people at the clinic just gave her to you?"

"Well, I kinda begged." He smiled sheepishly. "They all know me there, and if I hadn't taken her, God only knows where she would have ended up, an orphanage, probably. I couldn't sit back and let her be sent there, so I pleaded my case, and they let me take her home. I hadn't adopted her or anything, yet. I don't think I'd even be allowed to adopt, being a single kid with no money. So far, so good, though."

Duo looked back at the sleeping red-head in the backseat, and tears welled up in his indigo eyes, as he looked at the cherubic face. "I just live in fear of the day that someone comes and takes my angel away from me."

Hilde put her hand on her friend's knee and squeezed tightly. "It won't happen, Duo. You may just be a single kid with no money, but you're a damn good person. No child could hope to have a better father than you." She said with conviction. "Anyone would be an idiot to take her from you."

He wiped at his damp eyes, and turned his gaze back to the driver. "Thanks, Hil. Sorry to get all blubbery on you."

She swatted the knee that she'd been holding with the back of her hand. "Don't apologize to me, mister. I think it's beautiful the way you care for these babies. Don't ever be sorry for loving someone."

______________________________________________________________________ __

When they arrived at the cemetery, they followed the limo through a maze of hedges, down a winding gravel pathway. When the cars finally came to a stop, they were met by a beautiful vision of a picturesque setting of evergreens and maple trees, surrounding the well-manicured lawns of an area that was obviously designated for the burial of children. Small headstones were sprinkled across the greens, many with teddy bears, lambs or other childish icons engraved into the granite, even more with graceful angels, their peaceful faces cast downward to keep watch over the sleeping babies below.

Two cars were already there, a gleaming black SUV, and an older station wagon, with Mrs. Gregory sitting behind the wheel. She bustled out of her seat when Duo stood from the small rental car, and immediately rushed toward him to enfold him in a grandmotherly hug.

"Oh, my sweet Duo!" She exclaimed as she held him tight, tears tracking down her wrinkled face. "I'm so sorry about your poor little darling!"

He returned the strength of her embrace, trying to keep his own tears at bay. "Thank you, Mrs. Gregory."

"I just keep thinking that there should have been something I could have done for her, but…"

"Shh." Duo stopped her sobbing speech. "You did exactly the right thing, calling the ambulance. That's all I would have done myself. It's not your fault."

He pulled back from her arms, and gave her a small smile. "Now, I know someone else who'd like to see you." He said, as he turned and leaned into the car to release the just awakened Aleana from her infant seat. He backed out with the smiling girl, who squealed when she saw the older woman, reaching her arms out to the only person other than Duo that had taken care of her in her short life. As he handed the child to her sitter, Duo caught a glimpse of bright colors in his peripheral vision, and turned to gape at the display of flowers arranged around the tiny gravesite.

"What? Who?" He said to himself, as he walked over to look at the card on the largest arrangement. "Relena? How did she know?"

He circled the site, plucking the card from each bundle of flowers, his amazement clear on his face as he read each tiny piece of paper. "Zechs and Noin; Sally; Une; the shop; Howie and the guys." He turned, scanning the faces of his friends. "How did they know?"

Wufei sheepishly raised his hand. "I thought your friends should know what you were going through. I called them all yesterday while you were out. Everyone I talked to would have liked to have been here, but they all send their love."

"Wow." He said, shuffling through the cards once more, reading over the sentiments written on each one. He raised his head to look at his friend, giving him a sad smile. "Thanks, Wu. These really mean a lot to me."

The Chinese teen nodded in reply. Just then, the officiant stepped forward and cleared his throat. "Mr. Maxwell? Are you ready to begin?"

Duo looked at the tiny white casket, perched on the silver bars of the mechanism that would lower it into the ground. Looking back to the man, he sighed. "Yeah, I suppose so. Can you open the casket, though? I'd like to see her one more time."

"Of course."

When the lid was unlocked and raised, soft gasps rose from all around the braided teen, as those who hadn't seen the baby got their first look at her. Nestled against her pillow of ivory satin, dressed in the christening gown that Wufei had bought for her, the girl looked like a true angel. The morticians that had taken care of her body had done a beautiful job in making her look like she was just sleeping. She looked so natural, with a slight rouge on her cheeks, and her chubby, dimpled hands lying delicately at her sides.

Duo let out a small sob as he gazed at her, reaching his hand out to lightly stroke her cheek, as tears began to slowly fall from his eyes. He felt Wufei's presence at his back, and found himself leaning slightly against him, as hands clasped onto his shoulders in support.

Standing back from the small group of friends, Heero felt his heart tighten at the sight of his former lover's sorrow. He once again was overwhelmed by the knowledge that he was the reason for the child being in the coffin, and he found himself stepping forward so that he could get a glimpse of her. He choked when he laid eyes on the tiny Asian girl lying in the satin lined box. Conflicting emotions flooded over him all at once. Anger with himself, anger at Duo, the pain of the love he still harbored for the braided boy, the bittersweet feeling of finally seeing his ex-lover in person after two long years, the weight of the guilt he felt for the precious infant's death. Seeing her cherubic face brought it all home for him; once again, he had caused the death of an innocent.

He made a sound low in his throat, somewhere between a growl and a moan, and abruptly turned away from the scene. He needed to be alone with his emotions; he couldn't let them go in the presence of his ex-lover. He briskly walked to the limo, getting in and closing the door as quietly as possible. He sat heavily against the cool leather seat, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, using every bit of control he had to keep the tears that were threatening to fall at bay. His chin quivered as one tear slipped past his defenses.

Duo turned at the sound of the car door closing, and saw that Heero was missing. He clenched his fists, and ground his teeth together, interpreting the Japanese boy's disappearance as a sign of his indifference.

Over the years since the wars had begun, Quatre had learned to have greater control over his empathic ability to feel the emotions of others around him, and he was rarely even affected by them anymore, unless he purposely let his guards down. Today, however, his mind was spinning with all the powerful emotions rolling off of two boys in particular. He took the few steps toward Duo, and laid his hand against the former pilot's face.

"Duo, it's ok." He whispered, his expressive blue-green eyes sparkling with concern. "Heero's very confused. Just forget about him for now, and focus on Miranda. Don't let anger mar your final moments with her."

Duo nodded at the blonde, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, before meeting the eyes of each of the rest of his circle of friends. "Alright." He motioned to the officiant to begin the service.

The man spoke of angels and heaven, without getting too religious, as Duo had requested. All too soon, it was over, and the speaker pulled a single white rose from the spray that Relena had sent, and handed it to Duo. The braided boy kissed the flower, then gently stroked the baby's cheek with the petals, before laying the rose in the casket with her. "Goodbye, my little angel. I love you." He said, as he closed the lid of the coffin for the last time.

Each of his friends embraced him in turn, every one of them having been affected by his sorrow. When he reached Hilde, the girl who had been proud of herself for her composure burst into tears. Duo enfolded her in his arms and wept with her. A cry from Aleana, upset at seeing her Daddy crying, broke the two apart.

"Oh, Sunshine, I'm sorry!" Duo said, wiping his face dry, and taking the whimpering girl from Mrs. Gregory. "Daddy's ok, darlin'." He said, bouncing her gently, to make her smile again.

"Duo, let me take the little pumpkin home with me, so you can spend some time with your friends." The older lady offered, reaching her hands toward the little girl once more.

"Oh, that would be great, Mrs. Gregory. Could you keep her for a couple of hours?"

"Of course, dear. Just come by when you're ready to pick her up."

Hilde made herself busy pulling the infant carrier from the back seat of her rental car, and put it into the baby sitter's old station wagon. When the baby had been safely strapped in, and the wagon was moving slowly down the gravel road, Heero finally emerged from the back of the stretch limousine.

Duo's fury, which had been suppressed during the services, flared back to life when he saw the Japanese youth. "Yuy." Duo spat, "You have no business being here today. Just sit your sorry ass back in that car, and stay out of my sight."

While he'd been sitting in the cool stillness of the limo, Heero had quietly meditated, falling back to the method he had used during the war to find balance when his soldier's instincts raged against his teenage emotions. When he had finally centered himself, he was able to face Duo's rage with his usual cool, detached demeanor.

"Duo, I came here to speak with you…"

The braided teen didn't let him finish. His fist connected with Heero's chin, reopening the split bottom lip that Quatre had given him just two days before. In an instant, Heero was fighting back, and blows were hitting their mark on each enraged boy. The sounds of flesh hitting flesh, and angry growls and grunts filled the silence of the little cemetery. Hilde screamed, and Wufei rushed to break them up, but found himself caught from behind in Trowa's strong arms.

"Don't, Wufei. This has been a long time coming. They need to settle things between them. They always did communicate better after a good fist fight." Trowa said in a low voice, directly into the struggling Chinese boy's ear.

"But Yuy will kill him! Let me go!" Wufei shouted.

"No. He won't. They are both very upset, but neither one of them hates the other enough to really hurt him." Quatre assured him.

"Stop it!" Hilde screamed, her tears flowing again, as Duo landed a punch to Heero's stomach that nearly winded the blue-eyed teen. The two separated, both glaring death at one another as they caught their breath.

Wufei broke away from Trowa, only to be stopped by Duo throwing a hand up to block him. "Leave us alone, Chang!" He snarled.

The Chinese teen's eyes widened at the venom in his friend's voice.

"All of you! Go away! This is between us, let us fucking settle it on our own!"

The astonished officiant looked at the bystanders, and raised his voice. "There is a chapel just down that path there. You are welcome to go in, the doors should be unlocked." He looked once more at the fighting teens, then got into his SUV and drove away.

"Go." Heero glared lividly at the remaining mourners, as he pulled a tissue from his pocket to wipe at the blood streaming down his chin.

Trowa wrapped his arm around Wufei, and Quatre followed suit with Hilde, and began to lead the two down the gravel path toward the chapel. Wufei turned his head, meeting Duo's eyes to make sure he would be alright alone with the irate and dangerously strong ex-pilot of Wing.

Duo nodded at Wufei, then walked a short distance to a lone maple tree, throwing himself down at the base of its trunk. "I'm still pissed as all hell, but I'm too fucking tired to fight anymore. We're just gonna scream at each other, no more punches, right Yuy?" He said in the direction of the quiet teen.

"Yes. No one will get hurt. Leave us."

"We'll give you twenty minutes, but no longer. I don't trust him." The young Preventers agent said over his shoulder, eyes narrowed at Heero.

"Fine." Said the Japanese teen, as he removed his ripped suit jacket, and tossed it into the black car.

When the four friends were beyond the line of trees, Heero walked over to the tree Duo was seated under, and gracefully dropped to the grass a few feet away from him.

"Why did you come, Heero?" Duo asked hotly. "Don't you think you hurt me enough the last time I talked to you? Didn't you realize that seeing you would make things even worse?"

"What?!" Heero said incredulously. "I hurt you?"

"My baby is dead because of you, Heero! Yes, you fucking hurt me!" Duo stood up, looming over Heero with his fists clenched in fury.

The Japanese teen stood, as well, facing off with his ex-lover with just as much fire burning in his eyes. "I accept that her death was partly my fault..."

"Partly?" Duo hissed. "If you had let me talk to Quatre, she'd still be alive! It's entirely your fault that she's dead!"

"Fine. I'll accept that responsibility, and I truly am sorry, Duo. You know that if I had known, that if I had understood the severity of what was going on, I wouldn't have denied you." Heero's calm resurfaced, but the storm in his eyes belied the tempest that his emotions were swirling in. "But you aren't blameless here, Duo. Maybe I did hurt you purposely, but if I did, it's because you hurt me first."

"How did I hurt you?" Duo shouted in disbelief.

"You left me, Duo!" He shouted back. "You didn't give me a reason, you didn't say goodbye, you just fucking disappeared without a trace! Did you expect me to just forgive you? To forget you? I loved you, you bastard!" Heero dropped heavily to sit on the grass, and said through clenched teeth, "I loved you, but you left me."

Duo moved back to his place at the base of the tree, and sat with his legs stretched out in front of him. "I couldn't stay, Heero. I had to run." He chuckled ruefully. "You know me, I run and I hide…"

"Why?" Heero finally looked up, glaring defiantly at his ex-lover. "You said you loved me. What did I do to make you stop? I've gone over it and over it in my head, and I can't figure out what the hell I did so wrong that it would make you not love me anymore."

The American boy stayed silent for long moments, idly playing with the end of his braid. When he finally spoke, his voice was so quiet that Heero had to lean forward to hear him. "I never stopped loving you, Heero. I didn't mean to be gone forever, I just needed a break. I needed to figure out who I was. I needed to get myself cleaned up before I could completely devote the rest of my life to you."

"What are you saying?"

"I didn't know who I was, Heero. All of a sudden, the fighting's over, and no one has any use for an ex-God of Death." He said, meeting Heero's eyes. "I was able to make it through the first few months, because I thought as long as we were together, we'd make it, no matter what. Then after awhile, though, love just wasn't enough. I needed a purpose, but was too busy drinking myself into oblivion to be able to figure out what my purpose might be."

He paused for just a moment, but when Heero didn't respond, he continued. "Did you even notice that I spent most of my life drunk? I don't think you even saw what I was going through! You just lived day to day sitting in front of your computer, working on whatever the hell it was that you worked on, completely oblivious to what I was doing."

"I knew." Heero said softly. "I just didn't know what to do about it. Didn't know how to make you stop the drinking, so I guess I just thought if I ignored it, it would go away."

"Well, it didn't. It didn't go away until I went away." Duo said bitterly. "I came down here to Earth to get away from you, to get away from everyone who would try to influence me to be something that I didn't want to be. I came here to clean up, and to figure out what it was that I wanted to do with the rest of my life. By the time I had sobered up, and knew that I wanted to go to school to become a teacher, and realized that leaving you was the biggest mistake I'd ever made, I found out that you'd moved on without me. That you were with Tro and Quat. That hurt like hell, Heero."

"Oh Gods, Duo!" Heero choked, as he got to his knees and lunged at his ex-lover, clutching him to his chest desperately. "I didn't know! I thought you were never coming back! You left without a word, and I couldn't find you!" Tears were streaming down his face unbidden, and unnoticed.

Duo hugged Heero just as fiercely, his own tears darkening the front of Heero's pale blue shirt. "I've missed you so much, Heero." He sobbed. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, I wasn't in my right mind when I left, and once I was, I just felt so damn bad about how I'd handled it that I couldn't face you!"

Heero was reeling. It felt so good to hold Duo in his arms again. Two years of hurt and confusion had just been shattered by Duo's admission that he didn't leave him for good; that he hadn't stopped loving him. He kissed the boy's temple reverently, and stroked his hand over his heavy braid, holding him as he continued sobbing. As he swayed with his once love, it came to him that yet again, it all fell back to him. He had failed Duo when he'd given up on him, and joined Quatre and Trowa on L4. If he'd just had faith in Duo, he'd have come back to him, and they'd have been happily together again; even happier than they had been once Duo had found what he was looking for in life.

As much love as he still felt for the boy in his arms, he had to admit that he felt just as much for his new lovers. His heart felt like it was being ripped in two. He loosened his grip on Duo, and drew back to look at his face. Bright indigo eyes that he had loved for so long blinked up at him, then abruptly closed as the braided boy crushed his mouth to Heero's.

Four startled gasps, and cries of "Heero!" and "Duo!" filled the silence as Quatre, Trowa, Wufei and Hilde rounded the path from the grove of trees, and saw the passionately embracing couple.

tbc