Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Someone Else's Star ❯ One-Shot

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.

Someone Else's Star

Jealous. That's what Wufei was. He was jealous. So jealous that he couldn't stand to be around the other pilots right now. Their happiness was like a knife in his heart. Wufei tried to tell himself that it was their sickening lovey-doveyness that made him turn away but he knew it was only because he wanted what they had more than anything. Wufei shivered and pulled his jacket closer.

'Damn winter. It's way too COLD here.'

Wufei looked around at his surroundings. Quatre's garden, though a magnificent attraction in the spring, did not have the same appeal in the winter. Still, the softly falling snow against a background of black velvet sky, sprinkled liberally with starts held its own fierce beauty. If it weren't for the fact that he was freezing his ass off out here he might actually enjoy the view. Gods, it was cold.

'Then why don't you go inside'

Wufei stubbornly walked away from the door.

'Hmph. And watch those bakas make out every five seconds? I'll pass.'

Wufei sighed and brushed some snow out of his hair. He knew that he shouldn't have accepted Quatre's offer to stay with him and the rest of the group for Christmas vacation. But when Quatre turned on those big baby blue eyes of his and made that face Wufei hated so much…he found himself unable to refuse the little blond Arabian.

Weak. That's what he was. Not even strong enough to stand up to Quatre. And now he was feeling jealousy, a weak and undignified emotion. Wufei looked back through the window at the cozy tableaux that had driven him out into the cold. The rest of the gundam pilots were all gathered in the living room, in front of a roaring fire. Catherine and Dorothy were in the kitchen, helping Rashid with the turkey. Everyone had been surprised when the two girls had announced that they were seeing each other. Wufei thought it was a little strange at first but when he considered how much they had in common; both knew gundam pilots, both liked sharp pointy objects, both were extremely stubborn…it seemed to fit.

Relena had declined Quatre's invitation, saying that she had way too much work to do over the holidays and she couldn't possible take a break. Zechs and Noin were busy as well and Sally Po was off visiting her family in China. Duo had brought his friend…what was her name? Hilde. She seemed nice but Wufei didn't really know her well enough to form an opinion. Trowa and Quatre were busy trimming the huge Christmas tree that Quatre had insisted on having. Or rather, Quatre was picking out the trimmings and handing them to Trowa so he could place them on the tree, since Trowa was the only one tall enough to reach the top branches. Quatre carefully selected a crystal angel to hand to Trowa, giving him specific instructions on where to put the delicate ornament. Trowa looked down at his koi's serious face and smiled affectionately at him. Duo was also busy. He was feeding Heero chocolates from one of the boxes he wasn't supposed to open until after Christmas, one by one, laughing whenever Heero playfully nipped at his fingers. The Perfect Soldier had mellowed out considerably now that the war was over and he and Duo had decided to be open with their feelings for each other. He seemed content. One could he say that he was…happy. Everyone was happy. Everyone had someone. Except Wufei that is.

'I should not be feeling self-pity. It is a weak emotion, unworthy of someone from the Chang lineage.'

Wufei shook his head dejectedly. It wasn't that he didn't feel happy that his friends had finally found love. But it just wasn't fair that he should be left all alone out here in the cold.

'Nataku, I miss you so much sometimes. I know we were only children and the concept of marriage was strange and confusing to us both, but I always regarded you as a fit companion and a remarkable woman. I know it's selfish of me, but I don't want to be alone anymore. Do you understand? Do you even hear me?'

Wufei stared at the sky, searching for an answer he knew would never come. After a few minutes a muffled sound reached his ears. He turned around, trying to locate the source of the sound. It was coming from the garden. Wufei could barely make out the dark top of a person's head behind some bushes, against the whiteness of the snow. He drew a gun from inside of his jacket.

'Quatre should have better security than this. How could someone get into the garden undetected?'

Wufei walked silently through the soft snow, trying not to alert whoever it was to his presence. As Wufei got closer the sounds got clearer. They sounded suspiciously like sobs. Wufei got down low and tried to peer through the branches. The figure huddled behind the bushes was small and strangely familiar. It took Wufei a couple of minutes to figure out who it was.

'Duo's friend. Hilde. Why is she out here crying?'

Wufei put his gun away and stood up, clearing his throat. Hilde, startled by his sudden appearance, scrambled to her feet, wiping furiously at her eyes.

"W-Wufei! I didn't hear you come out."

Wufei looked at her tearstained face and frowned.

"What are you doing out here, onna? It is freezing cold and you have no jacket. You're going to get sick."

Hilde glared at him.

"It's none of your business what I'm doing out here. Besides, I'm not cold."

Wufei looked pointedly at her hands, which were a pale blue color and shaking. Hilde blushed and shoved her hands underneath her armpits. Wufei sighed and took his jacket off, placing it gently around Hilde's shoulders. Hilde debated shoving the jacket back at him but decided to keep it where it was. It was awfully cold, especially for her. She wasn't used to natural weather. Temperature in the colonies was always regulated.

"Thank you," she muttered to Wufei, who was staring at her tear-swollen face.

Wufei kept on staring until Hilde became embarrassed and looked away.

"You've been crying," he accused.

"No…"

His voice became harsh. "Don't lie to me. I can see the tears plain as day. What's wrong?"

Hilde bit her lip and tried to go around Wufei. "Nothing."

Wufei griped Hilde's arm to keep her from running past him. "I thought I told you not to lie to me. Stop trying to hide your feelings, onna. I'm not stupid."

"And what's it to you!" Hilde yelled, yanking her arm out of Wufei's grasp.

Wufei stared at Hilde in shock.

'Why do I care? I've never taken an interest in Duo's roommate before. Even if she is kind of cute with her hair like that, and those big eyes…wait a second…what am I thinking?'

"I'm waiting for an explanation, Wufei."

Wufei came back to himself with a start. He still hadn't answered her question.

"Well, because you're Maxwell's friend and…he's a fellow pilot."

Hilde looked at Wufei skeptically.

"That's a pretty pathetic answer."

Wufei glared at her. "Would you rather I say it was curiosity?"

"Actually, yes. That might be a little closer to the truth."

"Fine. I'm curious. So tell me."

Hilde took a deep breath. "I was…lonely."

Wufei gave her a puzzled look. "Lonely?"

Hilde looked down at the ground. "It's stupid, I know. But I just couldn't take it anymore. Seeing them…" Hilde gestured at the window. "Together and…in LOVE like that. I just…"

Wufei looked at the fresh tears that appeared in Hilde's eyes and felt a sudden pain in his chest.

'I don't understand this. Why does it hurt so much to see her cry? And why do I have the sudden urge to punch Maxwell?'

"Did you and Maxwell…were you…together?"

It was Hilde's turn to be puzzled. "What do you me-oh no, you don't think that…" Hilde suddenly broke into a fit of giggles.

Wufei was slightly hurt. "I don't see what is so funny."

Hilde got herself under control. "I'm sorry, Wufei. It's just that of all the questions to ask…no Duo and I were never more than good friends."

Wufei wondered at the sudden sense of relief at her words.

Hilde continued, "I guess I'm just jealous of their happiness. I wish I had someone who loved me that much. But I don't suppose you'd understand that."

Wufei looked away. "I understand more than you think. I understand loneliness. I understand not having anyone to love you, or be loved."

Hilde gasped, "Oh, I'm sorry Wufei. I didn't mean to remind you of Meiran."

Wufei smiled. "You didn't. At least…that wasn't what I was referring to."

"Then what?"

"I guess I've never realized just how much the war dominated my life. Now that it's over I feel I have no purpose, no reason for existence. All the other pilots have someone to keep on living for…"'Why am I telling her this? She doesn't need to know my weakness. So why do I feel like I have to explain myself…and why is she looking at me like that?'

Hilde gasped inwardly at Wufei's words.

'He feels exactly the way I do. He really understands. Who would have thought the impervious Wufei would feel useless. But I guess we all have hidden emotions. But why would he pour his heart out to me? And why do I feel the need to comfort him?'Wufei felt a touch on his shoulder and looked up. Hilde was staring at him, something in her eyes…pity maybe? But Wufei didn't think that was it.

"You still have a reason to exist, Wufei," she said softly. "Everyone has a purpose in life. You just need to be patient. I'm sure you'll find someone to live for someday…"

Wufei smirked. "It sounds like someone needs to take her own advice."

Hilde blushed. "Well, yeah. That's fair. So we're both being silly. It's really pointless to stay out here in the cold just because we haven't found the right person yet."

"So what are we still doing out here?" Wufei asked.

Hilde smiled. "I have no idea."

"Then shall we go?" Wufei offered Hilde his arm. She stared at him for a couple of seconds before taking it.

"We shall."

Wufei's touch sent warm tremors up Hilde's arm, even though his skin was cold from being without his coat.

'Why is he being so nice to me? And why am I feeling slightly breathless? It must be the cold. I'm not used to it.'

Wufei was confused. He could feel the slight weight of her hand pressing on his arm. The contact was making stomach twist in knots and he suddenly felt very lightheaded.'Why do I feel this way? How can this onna have the power to affect me so much? I can't actually be attracted to her…can I?' They walked in silence back to the house, each of them refusing to look at the other. The tension was making the silence seem all the louder. Suddenly the door to the house flew open and Duo appeared in the entrance. "What are you two doing out there? C'mon! It's time to eat. Rashid is bringing the turkey out. TURKEY!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Duo disappeared from the doorway, apparently off to devour the whole Christmas dinner before the others got there. Hilde grinned and took the opportunity to remove her hand from Wufei's arm. "Race you," she called, before making a dash for the door. Wufei just stood there for a few seconds before chasing after her. He felt a stab of disappointment that he could no longer feel the weight of her hand but he brushed the feeling aside. 'What are you thinking? She's just an onna. No reason to get all unsettled. Pull yourself together, Chang.' Hilde reached the door first, having an obvious head start. "I win!" she called over her shoulder before running inside. 'That was close. Another moment of hanging on his arm and I'd have done something stupid like tell him that I like him.' Hilde clapped a hand over her mouth. 'Ohmigod, did I just think that? I actually like Chang, Wufei? This is just great. Fall for the one guy you know you absolutely can't have.' A voiced argued with her in her head. 'But he was nice to you. And he said he was lonely…' "Shut up," she told the voice. 'The last thing you need is to have delusional fantasies about Wufei. Just stop now.' Wufei had finally made it to the door. He was breathing hard from running and his cheeks were slightly flushed from the exercise and the cold. Hilde watched the movement of his chest as he took in air and noticed that his hair, which had come a little loose during the race, was now curled delicately around the smooth skin of his cheeks. His obsidian black eyes were bright and watchful and his lips were parted slightly as he gasped for breath. Hilde swallowed hard. 'Oh, man. This is going to be harder than I thought…'

"Hurry up, you guys! The turkey's gonna get cold and you know how pissed Rashid gets when people are late to meals. Remember that time when Quatre invited us to supper and he and Trowa were both 20 minutes late and they said that it was because Trowa couldn't find his other shoe but we all KNOW why they were late and Rashid got all mad 'cause he made soufflé and it kinda collapsed and he said he was NEVER going to cook for us ever again and Quatre had to give him that puppy-dog look to make him forget. Remember that Wufei? And now Rashid's gonna get all mad again and it's all you guy's fault but Heero's gonna blame ME anyway because I was supposed to come and get you and he ALWAYS blames me. What were you two doing outside anyway? Never mind. I don't want to know. I just want to eat. Hurry up!"

Duo walked ahead of Hilde and Wufei, his braid bouncing saucily behind him as he chattered, totally oblivious to the now apparent blush that had spread over Hilde's cheeks and the strange look in Wufei's dark almond, shaped eyes.

'Doesn't he ever shut up?' Wufei thought irritably as he mentally forced himself to NOT look at the sway of Hilde's hips as she walked in front of him.

'This is stupid. This is so stupid. She's only an onna. I don't even know her. So why do I have this strange fluttering feeling in my stomach? It must be hunger. I need to eat, that's all.'

Convincing himself that food was the cause of his discomfort, Wufei felt a little better. However, being behind Hilde with her lithe backside directly in his line of sight was wrecking havoc on his theory.

'Need to do something about that.'

Wufei lengthened his stride and passed Hilde, being certain not to make eye contact. And the plan would have worked well except that his arm brushed her side as he went by her. The slight touch sent a shiver traveling up Wufei's arm and down his spine. 'Dammit…'

Wufei struggled to keep his face expressionless and he picked up the pace.

"Let's go Maxwell. I'm starving."

Hilde jumped when she felt Wufei's arm brush against hers. All her muscles stiffened and she half-closed her eyes, reveling in the sensations that racked her body.

'Shit. I shouldn't be reacting this way. I don't even know the guy. Stupid, stupid, stupid. One kind look and now I'm falling all over myself like some star-struck, giggling schoolgirl.'

Hilde sighed and smoothed her hair back, trying to quiet the now frantic beating of her heart. She felt awfully light-headed all of a sudden.

'Maybe it's because I haven't eaten all day. Yeah, that's got to be it. My body wants food.'

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Hilde acknowledged that her body didn't really want food. Her body wanted Wufei, naked and at her mercy, smothered in whipped cream and chocolate pudding and-

'And that's enough of that!' Hilde gave her head a shake. 'Geez, girl. You've been reading too many romance novels. It's time to forget about Mr. Chang Wufei.'

But this was easier said than done. Especially since now that Wufei was walking in front of her, she had a perfect view of his ass.

'That's guy's got _the_ cutest butt. Wait…what am I thinking? Stop that! Don't think about his perfect butt, dammit!'

Hilde forced her eyes away from Wufei's posterior and glared furiously at the red and gold carpeting as if it was its fault she was feeling this way.

'Think turkey. Think Christmas. Think anything but Wufei. Think presents. Hmm…Wufei with a big red bow around his…no, no, no. Don't think about _that_ for heaven's sake! Um…think cold showers. Think of Wufei in the shower-DAMMIT! Okay…deep breaths. Think annoying songs.'

Hilde replayed the lyrics to "Mambo #5" in head over and over again. She was so busy concentrating on NOT thinking about Wufei that she accidentally walked into the wall.

"Ouch! Dammit!"

Duo and Wufei turned around to look at her. Wufei's face was emotionless. Hilde felt like a complete baka.

'Now he knows what a clutz you are. Great job stupid.'

"Are you okay, Hilde?" Duo asked, his face showing puzzled concern.

Hilde's face was now bright red and she rubbed her forehead sheepishly. "I'm fine. Let's just go eat, okay?"

Duo smiled brightly. "Don't have to tell me twice." He bounded into the dining room. Wufei observed Hilde a minute longer before turning and walking calmly through the doorway. Hilde tried to compose herself and combed her fingers nervously through her hair.

'Damn, damn, DAMN. Rashid's turkey better be worth it.'

It turned out that Rashid wasn't angry about Wufei and Hilde being late. He had his hands full with Dorothy and Catherine. Both girls were arguing about who would get to carve the turkey. Quatre and Trowa were ignoring their debate and looking deeply into each other's eyes in a way that could only be described as "love-sick". And by Nataku, Wufei _was_ sick of it. He turned his eyes away from them and concentrated on Heero, who was drumming his fingers on the table and glaring at Duo. The braided Shinigami had decided that since he couldn't have the turkey yet, he would have to content himself with sculpting his mashed potatoes into a _very_ abstract duplicate of the Deathscythe. Wufei sat down on the other side of Heero. This turned out to be a mistake because sitting directly across from him was _her_. He could still see the remnants of a blush on her face and her forehead sported a tiny red mark where she had banged it against the wall.

'I wonder why she did that? Could she be a little bit flustered by our…encounter as well? No, probably not. I'm imagining things. But why is she staring at me?'

Wufei sighed and looked down at his empty plate.

'Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore.'

'He won't even look at me.'

Hilde stared at the beautiful Asian boy's face but he wouldn't make eye contact with her. 'I knew it. He thinks I'm an idiot. A clutzy idiot. Not that I care. I don't care at all. Why doesn't he look at me?'

Hilde twisted her napkin around her finger and tried to focus her attention on Dorothy and Catherine's argument.

"I should be the one to carve the turkey! I did the most work on it," Catherine exclaimed, shifting the platter of turkey she held in her arms and making a grab for the knife that was clutched tightly in Dorothy's hand.

"Ha! I was the one who made the stuffing! I get to carve it!" Dorothy held the knife out of Catherine's reach.

"You don't have as much experience with knives as me. You'd only cut yourself. You should let me do it."

Dorothy laughed. "What are you going to do? Use the turkey as a pincushion? It needs to be _carved_ not skewered. I'm the best person for the job."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Rashid's voice was so loud that rattled the china on the table. Everybody stopped what they were doing to stare at the slightly peeved Maguanac. Rashid used this chance to grab the knife from the temporarily stunned Dorothy and take the turkey from Catherine.

"Both of you shut up and sit down. _I_ am going to carve the turkey and _you_ are going to be quiet, got it?"

Both Catherine and Dorothy nodded their heads and sat down, wide eyed. Quatre was trying hard not to laugh and Trowa was hiding a smirk behind that bang of his. Duo was not even trying to conceal his laughter and even Heero had an amused smile on his face. Hilde was impressed.

'And that's why that guy is leader of the Maguanac Corps.'

Rashid sliced the turkey and started piling sections onto everybody's plates. Duo's face lit up and he smiled gratefully before shoveling food into his mouth. Hilde chuckled, remembering how many groceries she'd had to buy when Duo lived with her.

'That boy has too much appetite for his own good. But I can't blame him for pigging out tonight. This turkey is amazing! And this is Imperial Red Wine. Quatre really went all out.'

Hilde reached for her glass and managed to knock her spoon on the floor. She bent down to pick it up and froze. Duo and Heero, Trowa and Quatre, Dorothy and Catherine, ALL of them were playing footsie underneath the table!

'Dammit, can't these people stop for a minute? It's just not fair. I don't have anybody to…ah to hell with it. I don't need anybody anyway.'

Hilde picked up her spoon and slowly sat back up, avoiding all eye contact as she continued eating. Suddenly the turkey didn't taste as good. She reached for her wineglass and took a long drink.

'Something tells me that I'm gonna need a lot of this tonight.'

After dinner, everyone had gathered in the music room. Quatre took out his violin and Trowa got his flute and both proceeded to play various Christmas carols while Duo and Catherine sang. Dorothy surprised everyone by proving to be quite adept at the piano and for a while Wufei was able to relax and enjoy the company. It was rather amusing watching Duo try to hit high notes he couldn't possibly get, albeit rather painful on Wufei's ears.

"Jingle Bells, Batman smells! Robin laid an egg!"

"Baka. That's _not_ how it goes," Catherine argued.

Duo grinned. "That's how it goes in America. Batmobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away, HEY!"

Catherine rolled her eyes but she smiled and sang along with him. Duo just laughed and sang louder. After a while, Duo got tired of singing and contented himself with cuddling in Heero's arms and listening to the music. Dorothy played a beautiful solo piece and then Quatre and Trowa played a haunting duet, an old arrangement of The Coventry Carol. Wufei saw Hilde whispering is Quatre's ear and wondered what she was saying. He saw Quatre smile and nod.

"We have a request. Hilde is going to sing a carol for us," he announced.

"Go Hilde!" called Duo from his spot in Heero's arms. "You show 'em how it's done!"

Hilde seemed a little flustered but she relaxed when Quatre played the first few bars of music. Wufei thought he recognized the tune but he wasn't sure until Hilde opened her mouth and then all thought flew from his head all together.

"O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining. It is the night of our dear Savior's birth."

Wufei's mouth dropped open in surprise. Hilde's voice, normally rough and low, rang out sweet and soft, climbing up and down the scale with no problem. Wufei hadn't known that Hilde could sing like that. He wondered what else he didn't know about her.

"Long lay the world in sin and error pining till he appeared and the soul felt its worth."

Hilde lost herself in the song, closing her eyes to better concentrate on the music. Or maybe it was to avoid looking at the almond-eyed boy who was now staring intently at her. She could feel his eyes burning into her and she wondered what he saw. Maybe he felt something for her. It could be possible.

'And pigs could fly. Don't be silly. He's only staring at you because your singing is horrible.'

Well it was too late to back out now. Hilde sang louder, trying to drown out the beating of her heart.

"A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices! Oh, night divine! Oh, night when Christ was born."

Wufei felt something stir inside of him as he listened to Hilde sing. Her eyes were closed and her head was thrown back, her whole body vibrating with the intensity of the song. She was transformed…beautiful. Wufei wondered if this is what she would look like while making love…and then immediately squashed the thought.

'Fool! Don't think of that. She'll never be with _you_. It's stupid to torture yourself that way. Besides, it's a weakness to want something so trivial.'

But half of Wufei's mind, not to mention all of his body, wanted to know very badly if this was what Hilde looked like while making love.

'I've got to get out of here.'

"Oh, night divine; Oh, night, Oh night divine!"

As Hilde finished her song, Wufei stood up and cleared his throat.

"I'm feeling rather tired. If you will all excuse me, I'm going to bed."

Quatre looked mildly surprised at Wufei's statement but he smiled and said, "Of course, Wufei. Sleep well."

Wufei gave a slight, half-bow to the room at general and left quickly, leaving an extremely puzzled Hilde staring after him.

Hilde pulled back the covers on the wide, four-poster bed Quatre had arranged for her. It was much too big for her liking. So much empty space, reminding her that she had no one to share her bed, no one to hold her through the night.

'So much pathetic self-pity I think I'm gonna be sick. Stop thinking like that! You don't need a lover to be happy.'

But Hilde had to admit that having a lover might at least keep her warmer. Even with the covers pulled up over her head, it was still cold.

'My fault for not bringing the flannel pajamas. Instead I bring this flimsy, lacy nightgown. Way to be practical Hilde.'

Hilde shivered and huddled under the blankets, pulling her knees up to her chest and rubbing her arms for warmth. She fidgeted and turned, trying to find a comfortable position.

'It's no use. What I need is a nightcap.'

Hilde tossed the covers off, flung a shawl over her shoulders, and headed for the kitchen where she was pretty sure that she would find some brandy. Of course, Rashid probably only used it for cooking but Hilde had a much better use for it right now.

'Happy Holidays…'

Wufei breathed deeply, trying to force himself to sleep. He was so tied and yet his mind _would_ not shut off. It kept running with thoughts of her.

'This is insane. It's like I'm obsessed or something. She's only an onna. A sexy, beautiful, spirited…onna. Damn. I _am_ obsessed.'

Wufei turned on his side and closed his eyes. The not-so-muffled sound of Trowa and Quatre enjoying themselves in the next room reached Wufei's ears and made him groan. 'Why oh why did I have to get the room next to THEM. I'm never going to get to sleep.' The noises got louder and Wufei felt an ache in his own loins, an ache that longed to be filled.

'No. I don't need anybody. Especially not a weak onna like her.'

But Wufei's body said otherwise and the moans coming from the other room wasn't helping much. Finally, Wufei could take it no more and her pulled on a housecoat and left his room, heading for the kitchen.

'I wonder if there's any eggnog left…'

Wufei stood in the doorway of the kitchen, just watching the rise and fall of Hilde's chest as she slept. She was curled up in one of the chairs, her head cradled in her arms on the table, an empty shot-glass of brandy by her hand. She looked so innocent. Like a child almost. Her bangs fell across her face into her eyes and her lips were curved in a small smile. Wufei had to admit that her nightgown wasn't very childish. It was a wispy sheath of white lace and it did almost nothing to conceal her body. Wufei's breath came faster and he moved closer to her, careful not to make a sound.

Hilde murmured something in her sleep and she shivered involuntarily. Wufei reached out a hand and brushed it softly against her cold skin.

'Baka onna. You can't sleep out here. You'll freeze.'

Wufei sighed and slipped his arms underneath her, lifting her slowly so she wouldn't wake, smiling when she sighed and nestled in his arms, comforted by the sudden warmth. Truthfully, Hilde wouldn't have woken even if Wufei had dropped her. She was unused to the alcohol and not likely to regain consciousness anytime soon. Wufei carried her into her bedroom and tucked her in, pulling the covers tight around her. Hilde licked her lips and Wufei found himself bending closer, wanting to trace the passage of her tongue with his. He stopped himself before he got too close.

'Oh no you don't. Don't complicate this thing more than you have to. It's time to leave before you do something you might regret.'

He paused a minute to brush a few glossy black curls off her face before slipping silently out of her room and closing the door.

'There is no way I'm getting to sleep now.'

Hilde woke to the smell of bread baking. The warm, homey scent permeated through the thick walls of the room and roused her from her slumber. Hilde lay still for a few minutes, just letting the easy calm feeling that comes when you have absolutely no where to go wash over her. Then she slowly opened her eyes and stretched out all her muscles in one fluid catlike motion. She had a strange taste in her mouth, almost metallic in a way. 'Like I've been chewing on a pencil or…'

In a sudden rush the memories of last night came back to her. She recalled finding where Rashid kept the cooking brandy and pouring herself a glass. And then another glass. And one more. Then she remembered nothing.

'I must have had a bit too much of Rashid's brandy. I don't even remember going back to my room.'

It took Hilde a few more minutes to realize the cause of her little midnight indulgence. 'Wufei…'

Hilde blushed as she also remembered the very erotic dream she had had about that particular Asian last night.

'I think I need to shower.'

Hilde got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, hoping that it wasn't being used at the moment. While she walked down Quatre's unreasonably long hallway she replayed the dream in her head. Wufei had been covering her body with whipped cream and then licking it off with his warm, wet tongue while she shuddered and squealed beneath him.

'I really need to lay off the Harlequins,' Hilde thought as she caught sight of the bathroom. Unfortunately it appeared that someone was in there already. Hilde could see a faint column of steam rising from underneath the door and hear the sound of the shower running. Hilde sighed impatiently and looked around. Quatre must have other bathrooms in this estate but she couldn't even begin to guess where they might be and she didn't want to wander all over the house in her nightgown where everybody could see her, looking for them. Hilde pounded on the bathroom door and shouted,

"Excuse me, but are you going to be much longer?"The sounds of running water stopped and after a few moments of silence the bathroom door swung open and a towel-clad figure stepped out, along with a could of misty steam. Hilde's breath caught in her throat as she glimpsed a pair of long slender legs, leading up past the skimpy blue towel, to a decidedly male torso, muscular arms, and an oval face with loose, wet, shoulder-length ebony hair, a pair of deliciously curved lips, and two obsidian coloured eyes. 'Wufei.' His skin was still wet and slick from the shower and the damp strands of his hair clung to his cheeks in an incredibly sexy manner. Hilde swallowed hard and felt her pulse quicken, her heart thumping so loudly against her chest that she was certain that he could hear it. 'God, he's so beautiful. It's just not fair. Humans aren't supposed to be that beautiful. But then again, who ever said that he was human?'

They stood there, staring at each other, until Wufei's eyes flicked nervously away from hers and he cleared his throat.

"It's all yours now."

For a moment Hilde couldn't comprehend what he was talking about. "Huh?" she said eloquently.

Wufei made a gesture towards the door, making sure he kept one hand holding up his towel.

"You did say you wanted the bathroom, right?"

Hilde blushed and forced her eyes away from his body to look at the room.

"Oh, yes of course. The bathroom. Right. I'll just…go in there and…take my shower. See you at breakfast, Wufei."

Hilde slipped into the bathroom and closed the door firmly, trying to control her erratic breathing.

'Get a grip, girl! He's only a man.'

Hilde shed her nightgown and turned on the shower.

'Only a gorgeous, sexy, beautiful, perfect man.'

Hilde wondered what she would see behind that towel of his.

'I better make this a cold shower…'

Wufei hurried back to his room, praying that a huge blush wasn't staining his cheeks. 'Damn, damn, DAMN. It just HAD to be her, didn't it? It couldn't be one of the guys or any of the other girls catching me when I'm stepping out of the shower. Oh no. That would be too kind to Wufei. Can't have that happening. She's probably in there laughing her ass off at my physique or at the very least she's comparing it to Maxwell's.'

Wufei entered his room and slammed the door shut behind him, flipping on the light switch as her yanked open the closet door to reveal row upon row of pristine white pants and blue tank tops. Not the most practical thing for winter but Wufei never was one for changing his ways.

'I'm sure that living with Maxwell all this time she's had plenty of opportunity to see him butt naked.'

Wufei gasped at the unexpected stab of jealousy clenched his fists in anger.

'Baka. She's not interested in Maxwell. She told you that herself. They're just friends and besides, Maxwell and Yuy are obviously lovers.'

Wufei grimaced as he recalled walking in on Heero and Duo and some miseltow in the living room after putting Hilde to bed last night. They didn't see him. They were too…involved at the moment.

'Obviously lovers. So why am I still jealous? It's all that onna's fault. She's screwed up my brain somehow.'

Wide blue eyes suddenly assaulted Wufei's thoughts and he smiled slightly, remembering the way she had snuggled unconsciously in his arms and laid her head on his shoulder, the small white neck under a dark tumble of curls, the pink bow of her lips, wet with moisture.

'Nonononononono. Don't think about that. That's bad. Thinking hentai thoughts about a girl you don't even know is bad, bad, bad.'

The hard bulge, now apparent underneath the scantiness of the towel, was not co-operating.

'But you'd like to get to know her better, wouldn't you?'

"Shut up," Wufei said out loud, his voice echoing ridiculously in the room.

'Stupid. Now you're talking to yourself.'

Wufei sighed and surveyed the contents of his closet with disdain.

'I need some new clothes. I wonder if she'd notice if I wore something different. Argh! Why am I concerned with what she thinks?'

Wufei sighed once more and threw a housecoat, which, he admitted to himself, might have been a good thing to bring with him to the shower, over himself and left his room.

'Maxwell's gotta have something I can borrow…'

Hilde sat in the kitchen, watching the steady trickle of snowflakes sprinkle the ground until it looked like someone had taken a huge jar of four and just tipped it over onto the place. Trowa was sitting beside Hilde with a decidedly smug looking Quatre perched in his lap, feeding him bits of buttered bread. Catherine and Dorothy were helping Rashid with breakfast, or rather, Rashid was trying to make breakfast and Catherine and Dorothy were getting in the way, each girl arguing endlessly over how to do the eggs.

"Over easy."

"Scrambled."

"Over easy!"

Scrambled!"

"O-V-E-R E-A-S-Y!"

"S-C-R-A-M-B-L-E-D"

"SHUT UP! I AM MAKING AN OMELET!"

Rashid's face was bright red and he quickly snatched the carton of eggs away from the two quarreling lovers.

"What crawled up his butt and died," whispered Dorothy loudly to Catherine who nodded and replied, "He does seem to be a little high strung lately."

The two then proceeded to argue about what to put in the omelet.

"Ham."

"Peppers."

"HAM."

"PEPPERS."

Rashid's mouth dropped open and he made a few strangled noises before shaking his head in defeat and adding both ham and peppers to the omelet. Hilde giggled and turned her attention to the other occupants of the table. Heero and Duo were sitting across from her, reading the paper. At least, Heero was reading the paper. Duo was trying to make Heero laugh by tickling him in the back of the neck with the end of his braid. Heero was trying his best to ignore it but Hilde could see the corners of his mouth twitch and turn up in an almost half-smile as he reached up a hand to brush the back of his neck repeatedly. Each time he brought his hand up Duo would stop, wait a few moments and tickle him again, his violet eyes sparkling with mischief. Finally Heero got fed up.

"Duo…" he growled warningly.

"What Hee-chan?" Duo asked, giving Heero an innocent that was ruined by the fact that his eyes still sparkled.

"You know what. Do that again and I'll stuff that cute braid of yours down your throat."

"You think my braid's cute?" Duo blinked hopefully up at Heero and got a glare in return. "But Hee~ro I'm soooo bored. It's Christmas day! We should be doing something special. Something Christmassy."

"Like what, Duo?" Hilde asked.

The braided pilot thought for a minute before grinning and saying, "I've got it! There's a lake not to far from your house isn't there Q-man?"

Quatre tore his attention away from the task of feeding Trowa to answer, "Yes. But I can't see why you'd want to go there. It'll be all frozen over."

"Exactly," Duo snapped his fingers. "We can all go skating!"

Heero snorted. "Baka. We don't have any skates."

"Actually," said Quatre, "We have a few extra pairs. I'm sure we could find some to fit everybody."

Duo grinned. "Then it's settled. After breakfast we're all going skating!"

"We're what?"

All eyes turned to the direction of the voice where Wufei stood, leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest in the usual manner. Hilde's mouth dropped open and she stared in shock. Gone was Wufei's usual outfit of white pants and blue tank top with a white overcoat. Instead he had on a red turtleneck and a pair of tight, black jeans that showed off his…figure nicely.

"Lookin' good, Wu-man," Duo greeted him. "I'm glad my clothes fit you. Y'know, you should wear red more often. It brings out your eyes."

"Shut up, Maxwell," Wufei growled as he stomped over to one of the chairs and sat down.

Duo continued talking, ignoring the scowl of Wufei's face. "I was just telling the other guys about my idea to go skating out on the pond after breakfast. Q-man has some extra skates. It'll be so much fun!"

"Skating?" Wufei blinked. "But I've never gone skating before. I…don't know how."

"That's okay," Duo replied cheerily. "There's a first time for everything. And besides, Hilde can teach you. She's the best skater I know."

Wufei suddenly gazed with interest at the petite girl sitting across from him. Hilde squirmed in her seat and vowed to KILL Duo the first chance she got.

"Whoa, Quatre. You call this a few extra pairs?" Catherine exclaimed, gazing at the rows and rows of different brands of skates placed all along the shelves of Quatre's storage room. Quatre blushed and said, "My sisters' kind of had a skating fetish for a while." "How do you explain all the pairs of Men's skates?" "Maguanacs." "Huh?" "Someone had to guard my sister's while they skated and you can't run very fast on ice." "Oh," Catherine nodded and went back to choosing a pair of white figure skates that would fit her small feet.

Hilde looked over the many different brands and style of skate carefully before making her selection.

'It'll feel good to be back on the ice again. I haven't skated in ages. I hope I still remember how.'

Hilde watched Wufei pick his own pair of black hockey skates out of the corner of her eye. She noticed that he wore a size 13.'Hmm…you know what they say about guys with big feet-Argh! Stop with the hentai thoughts already!' Hilde slid her feet into her skates and, seeing that they fit perfectly, slung them over her shoulder with an easy, practiced gesture. "I'm ready."

"Me too," called Duo, brandishing his own pair of skates, nearly taking Heero's head off as he tried to sling them over his shoulder in the same way Hilde had."Baka," Heero muttered, but he smiled when he said it. "We're ready," Dorothy said as she took Catherine's hand in her own. Quatre smiled up at Trowa who took Quatre's skates from him so that he wouldn't have to carry them. "What about you, Wu-man?" "I told you not to call me that, Maxwell," growled Wufei, but he held up his chosen pair of skates and indicated his readiness. "Then let's go!" shouted Duo, before running out of the room at top speed, almost taking out a maid as he went.

Hilde and Heero shared a look of exasperated amusement as they followed after the braided baka. Wufei saw the look and felt jealousy took hold of him once more and he struggled to keep his face expressionless.

'I don't think that I'm going to like skating.'

"Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!! Watch me, Hee-chan! Watch me!" "I'm watching baka. Just don't fall over." Duo was trying out various tricks on his new skates. He tried skating on only one leg, then the other. Then he tried what might have been a spin except he lost his balanced and barreled right into Heero, knocking them both over. "Kisama!" "Hehe. Sorry, Hee-chan." At the other end of the lake, Dorothy and Catherine were having a spirited race. At the moment, Catherine was winning. Dorothy took hold of the end of her scarf and yanked her back, causing them to tumble over together in a heap. "That was a dirty trick!" Catherine protested. "All's fair in love and war," murmured Dorothy, before taking her lover's lips in a heated kiss. Catherine threw her arms around her partner, her complaint forgotten. Meanwhile, Quatre and Trowa were skating together in a slow waltz, their cheeks flushed and rosy as they gazed into each other's eyes. Wufei had yet to set foot on the ice. He couldn't seem to get his other skate tied up. The laces wouldn't pull tight enough and it was impossible to do them up with the awkward gloves he was wearing. Wufei cursed inwardly as the section he was trying to tie came undone once again. "Need a little help?" Startled, Wufei looked up directly into a pair of wide blue eyes that twinkled with held-in laughter. Hilde stood before him, comfortably standing on her own skates, looking for all the world like an expert. 'She probably is,' thought Wufei ruefully and nodded his head in assent, thrusting his foot forward for Hilde to investigate. He watched as Hilde took the laces in her delicately gloved hands and tied them tightly, pursing her lips in concentration as she worked.

"There you go," Hilde said giving the tied skate a satisfied pat. Wufei muttered a thank you and struggled unsteadily to his feet. The solid smoothness underneath his legs felt strange and Wufei held his arms out from his sides for balance.

"Well come on," Hilde exclaimed, gliding backwards across the ice with a quickness that Wufei couldn't hope to imitate. "Skate!"

"How?" Wufei asked.

"Just take a step forward."

Wufei did so and immediately ended up flat on the ground.

"Shimatta!"

Hilde giggled and helped him up, slowly. "Try again."

"I don't know if I want to," Wufei exclaimed, rubbing his sore backside.

"Here," Hilde said. "Take my hand."

Wufei hesitated and then placed his hand in Hilde's feeling the now familiar tingle of warmth where they touched. Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice screamed

'This is not right!'

Wufei surreptitiously told the voice to shut up as Hilde started to skate backwards again, pulling him along after her.

Wufei felt the shaking in his knees and he wasn't all too certain that it was because of being on the ice for the first time. He glanced down at his feet and almost tripped, managing to catch himself at the last moment.

"Don't look at your feet, you'll fall. Just look at me," Hilde ordered.

Wufei gulped and complied, focusing on Hilde's pink mouth, her breath making tiny clouds of steam rise up into the air.

'She's so perfect.'

"That's good," Hilde smiled. "That's great. You're doing fine. Just keep looking at me."

"Look Wu-man! You're doing it! You're skating!"

Duo call broke Wufei's concentration and he started, pitching himself forward until both he and Hilde lay in a heap on the ice.

"Oops," commented Duo.

"Maxwell I'm going to kill you!" called Wufei.

"Ya have to catch me first," laughed Duo as he skated away quickly.

"Are you okay?" Wufei asked the petite girl who lay beneath him, taking her hand in his.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Hilde replied, her chest heaving as she struggled to intake air. "Nothing's broken at least." They stayed that way a minute longer before remembering their somewhat…friendly position. Wufei hurried to his feet once again and pulled Hilde up after him. He muttered an apology, which Hilde waved off with a laugh.

"Ready to try again?"

"Actually," Wufei said. "I think I'm just going to sit down somewhere. Skating isn't really my thing."

Wufei turned away so quick that he didn't see the look of disappointment that flashed across Hilde's face before she said, "Okay," and skated off quickly.

Wufei wobbled over to the shoreline and sat down in the snow with as much dignity as he could muster under the circumstances. He watched as Hilde circled the lake a couple of times, picking up speed as she went. His breath caught in his throat as she began a series of graceful turns and movements, creating crisscross patterns on the ice.

'How can she be so clutzy on her own two feet and then be so agile on the ice?'

It was like she was dancing to a melody no one else could hear. Wufei dared not breathe lest he disturb her own little world with his unworthiness.

Wufei's eyes never left Hilde's form as she glided and spun across the lake. As much as he hated to admit it, he really was smitten with her and he couldn't understand why it was so hard for him to talk to her. He wasn't exactly new to the whole dating experience.

'I was married for God's sake! I ought to be able to ask her out.'

But he knew it wasn't that simple. It would never be that simple.

'Everything just has to be so complicated. I never get a break.'

Hilde skated furiously, trying to forget the way Wufei had just brushed her off. 'If he doesn't want me to help him, fine. That's just fine with me. I don't care anyway.' But she did care. And it wasn't helping that her heart was still jumping from the way that he'd touched her. 'Damn you, Chang Wufei. I wish I'd never seen your gorgeous face. I hate falling in love.' Hilde nearly fell out of her spin when she realized what she'd been thinking. 'I didn't just think that I loved him, did I? No way. That's silly. I just want his body. That's all. He's just a stupid crush and it will go away eventually.' But the way her eyes kept wandering over to where he sat and the way her heart responded told her different. 'Damn, damn, DAMN. I hate Christmas.'

Hilde kept her eyes focused in front of her as she skated around the edges of the lake. She could feel a tingling on the back of her neck, usually a sign that someone was staring at her. Hilde made sure she that didn't turn around.

'Is he watching me? So what if he is? He doesn't like me. He doesn't want to skate with me. Oh, no. The great Wufei's got much better things to do. Like sit in a snowbank and look really sexy all the time…oh no I did NOT just think that.'

"Hilde! Duck!"

"Huh?"

Hilde looked up just in time to see a snowball connect with the side of her neck. She squealed as the cold, rapidly melting liquid trickled down inside her coat.

"DUO!"

The braided maniac who had thrown the snowball her way, hoping to hit Heero who was standing beside her, grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry Hilde. I told you to duck."

Hilde's eyes narrowed and she started skating towards Duo menacingly.

"You…" she growled.

Duo seemed to pale and he took a hesitant step backwards.

"Uh….Hilde? You're not mad, are ya? Hilde?"

"YOU'RE DEAD MAXWELL!" Hilde yelled a she scooped up some snow from the ice and made it into a snowball.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaah!" Duo tried to skate away but he wasn't really a good skater and he tripped almost immediately.

"Owww," he complained.

"Got you right where I want you," Hilde said, an evil smirk on her face as she hefted the snowball and prepared to throw it.

"Ah! Hilde no! Help me Hee-chan!"

Heero looked back at his lover and shook his head. "You brought this on yourself."

"Traitor," muttered Duo.

"Prepare to eat snow, Maxwell!" Hilde shouted as she let the snowball fly. It made a direct hit, right in the center of Duo's face.

"Oh that's it," Duo sputtered. "It's on now. You're gonna get it."

Duo got up and tackled Hilde, sending them both sliding across the ice. Hilde shrieked as Duo gathered up the remnants of the snowball she had thrown at him and proceeded to wash her face with it.

"I'm gonna KILL you, Maxwell!" Hilde declared, spitting snow out of her mouth and laughing at the same time.

"No you're not," said Duo. "I'm too cute to die."

"That's what you think," said a voice behind Hilde and Duo. They both struggled to turn around and succeeded just in time to get three snowballs in the face.

"HEERO!" shouted Duo. "What did you do THAT for?"

Heero smirked and said, "You were planning to throw that snowball at me. You can't expect to go unpunished."

"Well then why did you throw one at me?" complained Hilde.

Heero's smirk grew wider as he said, "No one can punish my Du-chan except me."

Duo just sat there, blinking for a few seconds before throwing his arms around Heero's neck and glomping him fiercely. "Oh Hee-chan!"

Hilde rolled her eyes at the mushy cuteness of the scene before pummeling them both with a barrage of snowballs.

"You guys need to cool down," she commented as her victims shivered and spit snow out of their mouths.

"Hilde!" the look of total shock on Duo's face was enough to send Hilde into a fit of laughter and she sat down hard on the ice, holding her aching sides, effectively erasing Wufei from her mind, at least for the moment.

Wufei watched the escalating snowball battle from the shoreline. He wished that he could be out there with the others, laughing and playing in the snow.

'Well then why don't you?'

'It's not that simple,' Wufei argued with himself.

'Yes it is. It's very simple. Just make a snowball at lob it at someone. Easy.'

'I can't. I can't just let down my guard like that. What if someone were to attack us? I have to be ready.'

'Who's going to attack' scoffed the voice in his head. 'The war is over.'

'I…don't know,' Wufei admitted.'You're just scared.'

'I am not!''Yes you are. Otherwise you'd be out there with the others, having FUN for once. You remember fun?'

'Shut up,' Wufei thought, which was ridiculous because it was his own mind that was talking. 'I am not afraid.''Yes you are. Yes you are. You're afraid.'

'Of what?''Rejection.'

'Rejection…'

Wufei looked across the ice to where Hilde and Duo were now ganging up on Heero with a massive snowball that they were having trouble lifting, let alone throwing. He felt the now familiar pang of jealousy as Duo flung an arm around both Hilde and Heero, laughing raucously.

'You like her,' teased the voice.

'Shut up,' Wufei replied.

But his eyes never left the glow of Hilde's rosy cheeks and he felt his features soften into a small smile. Wufei had it bad.

"Truce! Truce!" Duo called, throwing up his arms in mock surrender. Hilde and Heero had him pinned to the ice and were presently stuffing snow into his jacket. "No more! AI! That's cold!"

Heero looked at Hilde and said, "What do you think? Should we let him go?"

Hilde pretended to consider it for a few moments before saying, "Sure. I'm getting pretty hungry. Hey Quatre! When's lunch?"

Quatre skated unsteadily up to Hilde, towing Trowa after him. "Actually I'm hungry too. Let's head back."

Duo scrambled to get to his feet, shouted, "FOOD!" and dragged Heero off the ice towards the estate. Trowa and Quatre chuckled softly at the sight and then headed after them. Dorothy and Catherine shrugged and started to walk back too. Hilde looked to where Wufei was sitting and found that he was already gone.

'Couldn't be bothered to wait for me, hmm? Well see if I care.'

Hilde left the lake with a heavy heart. Wufei still hadn't taken any notice of her.

'I'll have to take matters into my own hands.'

And Hilde began to form a plan.

Wufei sat on the windowsill, looking out at the pretty classic Christmas scene before him. Softly falling snow caught the sunlight and sparkled as it coated the trees and bushes in a sugary blanket of white. Patterns of frost spread out on the windowpane as the sun filtered through and warmed Wufei's body. The dazzling pureness of the snow amazed Wufei. He remembered how Hilde had looked while playing in it this morning, her dark hair contrasting against the white background, her blue eyes impossibly bright and laughing, the small glistening flakes catching on her eyelashes.

"Beautiful…" Wufei murmured, pressing his forehead to the coolness of the glass.

"What's wrong Wufei?"

Wufei spun around to see Quatre standing in the doorway, a concerned look on his face.

"Nothing is wrong," Wufei said shortly, turning his back on the Arabian, hoping to end the conversation. Not to be deterred, Quatre sat down beside Wufei and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You're lying," he said. "Why don't you tell me, Wufei? Maybe I can help."

Wufei opened his mouth to tell Quatre to mind his own business and stopped short. The blond was giving him that heart-wrenching puppy-dog look again.

'Dammit Quatre! You know I hate when you do that.'

Wufei sighed and confided,

"It's just that I'm feeling a bit…out of place here. I don't want to intrude on you and Trowa's happiness."'There. That should be a safe enough answer.'

"Oh I see. You're sad because you don't have anyone to be with at Christmas."

Wufei stared at the youth in shock for a couple of minutes.

'How the hell did he know? I haven't been that obvious, have I? Could Hilde have told him?'

Quatre laughed at Wufei's expression.

"Don't worry. You hide it very well. It's just that living with Trowa has allowed me to become extremely good at reading emotions."

Wufei relaxed visibly. Hilde hadn't told. Quatre saw his relief and wondered briefly at it.

"Wufei, I'm sure that somewhere there is someone who is meant especially for you. And I'm sure you'll find that person someday. You just have to be patient."

"I know," Wufei sighed. "That still doesn't solve my problem."

"Maybe you could-"

"Quatre? Trowa wants you in the kitchen."

Hilde stood nervously in the doorway, watching Wufei with a tense expression. Wufei gazed back, his eyes drinking in the site of her.

Quatre saw the looks passed between the two of them and smiled.

'So…that's how it is. I sure hope those two find happiness.'

"Well I can't keep Trowa waiting," he said out loud winking at Wufei as he left the room.

Wufei nodded and thought 'What does he mean by that wink?' The he dismissed the thought entirely because she was sitting down beside him.

"What are you doing, Wufei?" Hilde asked, wincing at the way her voice trembled a little of its own violation.

'You'd think I could TALK to the guy without getting all flustered but nooooooo.'

"Just watching the snow fall. It's beautiful. We don't get much snow where I live."

"Oh," Hilde searched for something else to say. "Yeah, it's pretty I guess. All that white hurts my eyes after a while."

'Stupid, stupid, stupid! What kind of a thing is THAT to say? Now he'll think you're a wimp.'

Wufei turned to look Hilde in the eyes, his voice growing serious…not that Wufei's voice was ever anything but serious.

"Do you believe in miracles?"

Hilde was startled by the question. She had to tear her gaze away from those deep, almond shaped eyes in order to think straight.

"I…don't know," she admitted. "I suppose that there could be such things as miracles. I guess it all depends on how much faith you have."

Wufei seemed to hesitate for a moment before he said, "I feel…as though a miracle has happened to me. But I'm not sure whether it's really a miracle or not. I'm not even sure if miracles can happen to me someone like me."

Hilde shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well…it's Christmas. If ever a miracle was to happen, Christmas would be the time. What is your miracle Wufei?"

Wufei didn't answer. He just sat there, looking at her with those dark eyes, searching her soul with his gaze. Hilde bit her lip, trying not to show how much his stare affected her. Suddenly he took hold of her wrists and leaned towards her.

"W-wufei?"

'Dammit! I _would_ have to stutter right then, wouldn't I? I hope he doesn't feel my hands shaking.'

Wufei stroked the smooth skin of Hilde's arm as he drew closer to her, focusing explicitly on her lips, the lips that he had been dreaming about all day. He was so close now. His mouth would not be denied the pleasure of tasting her. He couldn't hold back any longer. He bent down and pressed his lips to hers, softly.

Hilde's eyes opened wide and then shut tight as she felt the warmth of Wufei's mouth on her own. He tasted sweet and spicy. Like gingerbread. Hilde found herself deepening the kiss, parting her lips to permit Wufei's tongue to slid in and dance with her own.

'This can't be happening. This just can not be happening. I have to be dreaming. This is a dream and I'll wake up any minute now. Yep. Any minute now…'

Wufei's arms wrapped around Hilde and drew her even closer against his chest.

'Oh my God this isn't a dream. This isn't a dream and Wufei is actually kissing me and I am NOT dreaming, oh my GOD!'

Hilde's train of thought broke off as she felt Wufei's hands move under her sweater to the warm skin beneath, stroking and caressing in sensual exploration. She gave herself up to the sensation, letting her body relax and fall against his while she kissed him back passionately.

Wufei couldn't believe that this was finally happening. She tasted so good, like mint chocolate-chip ice cream. Her tiny body molded perfectly into his and the creamy smoothness of her skin just felt so right beneath his hands. He couldn't get enough of her. His mouth crushed her own, his arms held her close in an almost suffocating embrace and still it wasn't enough. He needed her, needed to feel all of her, needed to hear her scream his name in ecstasy. Wufei rubbed his hands harder across her back, underneath her shirt, and heard her moan. The sound only excited him more.

The front door flew open and a familiar voice shouted, "Hello! Merry Christmas!!"

"Relena! What a wonderful surprise," came Quatre's voice down the hall. "But I thought you said that you wouldn't be able to come with work and all…"

"I decided that I needed a vacation. Besides, I never see you guys anymore. I miss you. Plus I have all these presents to give away."

"PRESENTS!"

"Calm down, Duo."

"But Heero, she's got presents!"

Relena's laughter echoed through the house. "Yes. But where should I put them?"

Unthinkingly, Trowa answered, "Put them in the living room, underneath the tree."

"Okay," Relena said and she headed off towards the room with her load.

Quatre's happy smile was wiped from his face as he realized that Wufei and Hilde were still in the living room.

"Wait! Relena…"

But it was too late. Quatre sighed and hurried to catch up to her. Maybe he could call out a warning before she got there…

"Uh…so how have you been Relena?" asked Quatre in an unreasonably loud voice.

"Just fine Quatre. Although being Vice-foreign minister keeps me busy most of the time."

Hilde's eyes snapped open in horror.

'Relena. That's Relena's voice. And she's coming this way…'

Hilde and Wufei flew apart, blushing furiously and trying to straighten their clothing. They were still blushing when the former queen of the world entered the room with a huge bundle of presents that she promptly stuck under the tree before turning to greet her friends.

"Hilde! I haven't seen you in ages. We need to get together for a shopping spree sometime."

"Sure," Hilde agreed, still a little flustered but trying not to show it.

"It's nice to see you again Miss Relena," commented Wufei smoothly. Hilde couldn't believe how calm and collected he was being.

'Has he dismissed what happened between us so quickly?'

"Please, Wufei. Just call me Relena."

"Relena," Wufei said, taking her proffered hand solemnly. Hilde felt a pang of jealousy at the touch…and then berated herself for being so silly.

'He's just being polite.'

"Hey guys!" Duo's loud call rang out. "Rashid says that if ya wanna eat dinner you'd better come now."

"Great," Relena smiled. "I haven't had a good meal in weeks and Rashid always makes the best food."

She took Wufei's arm and pulled him along after her in the direction of the kitchen. Hilde stayed behind for a moment, fuming with jealousy.

'How dare she! How dare she take his arm like that! Wufei is MINE.'

"Uh…Hilde? You coming?"

Hilde turned to see Duo staring at her and forced an easy smile on her face.

"Of course," she said and walked out the door.

'Uh oh,' Duo thought. 'I don't like that look in her eyes…'

Wufei wandered into the living room, a pensive look on his face. Hilde had been quiet at dinner and avoiding him all evening and he was beginning to wonder if maybe kissing her wasn't such a great idea after all. The way she had responded when he held her indicated that she like it. At least, she didn't push him away. And she had seemed to enjoy the kiss. But maybe Wufei was wrong. He wasn't very good at figuring out someone's feelings like Quatre was. And figuring out the mind of any woman was waaaaay beyond him. After searching through the house once again he had returned to the living room, the scene of their "crime" so to speak, hoping that she might be in here. A small sniffling sound drew his attention to the corner of the room. Someone was is here. But it wasn't Hilde. The muted glow of the lights on the Christmas tree revealed the shaking shoulders of the former queen of the world.

'What's she doing here?'

Tears ran down Relena's cheeks and muffled sobs were coming from her mouth.

'And why is she crying?'

Wufei shook his head in puzzlement. It seemed to be his destiny to find crying women everywhere he went.

"Relena?"

Relena sprang up, wiping at her eyes nervously.

"Wufei! I didn't see you there."

"What's wrong woman? Why are you crying like that?"

Relena seemed to hesitate before saying, "I'm just…remembering."

"Remembering?" If Wufei wasn't puzzled before he was certainly confused now. "Remembering what?"

"Oh," Relena said. "Just…my father and how Christmas was his favorite holiday. He used to get a huge tree just like this one and fill the room with tons of presents. He used to make us all go to bed at 8:00 on Christmas Eve and then get us all up at 6:00 so we could open our gifts. I remember giving him silly homemade things; a demented portrait of him, a Popsicle stick box, an ashtray made of plastercene. He didn't even smoke! But he would always say that they were the best gifts he ever got. I miss him so much sometimes…"

Relena's eyes filled with fresh tears as she broke down once again, sobbing uncontrollably. Wufei was at a loss. Sensitivity wasn't one of his strong suits. 'I don't know what to do,' he thought.

'Yes you do,' said a voice in the back of his mind.

'No I don't,' Wufei argued with himself.'Yes you do. Just pretend that it's Hilde.'

'Hilde?''If Hilde was hurting like this, what would you do?'

Wufei felt his heart clench painfully at the thought.

'If…Hilde was hurting…'

Wufei gingerly wrapped his arms around the sodden form of Relena Peacecraft. Relena threw her arms around his neck and took comfort from his embrace, weeping freely into his shoulder. Wufei patted her back soothingly and rocked her back and forth, letting his strength be a solace for the distraught princess.

Hilde walked towards the living room, rehearsing what she wanted to say to Wufei. Embarrassed over her lack of control when he had kissed her, she had avoided him all evening but now she had decided that she was just going to tell him how she felt and be done with it. If he rejected her then…well…she'd figure out what to do if that happened later. She entered the darkened living room and searched the area for the handsome Chinese pilot. And she found him. And Relena. Locked in a tight embrace.

Hilde's mind shut down and her mouth ran dry.

'No. Nonono, this can't be happening, it just can't, oh no.'

But it was happening. She could see them clear as day. Something inside Hilde broke and she ran from the room, silent tears of pain running down her face.

'How could you,' she thought furiously. 'How could you?'

Hilde couldn't stand to be in that house anymore. She grabbed her coat and ran out the front door, sobbing furiously as she stumbled through the thick snowdrifts.

'How could you, Wufei? I loved you…'

Wufei slowly rocked the crying girl back and forth in his arms, hearing her sobs turn into sighs and then silence. They stayed that way until Relena, exhausted from crying, pulled away.

"Thank you Wufei," she said with a watery smile and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, before getting up and leaving the room.

Wufei sat there a few minutes more, contemplating the emotions that were raging inside of his heart. He had come to a conclusion.

'I love Hilde. And I want to be with her forever. And tonight…I'm going to tell her that.' Wufei left the room, a determined look on his face. He was going to find Hilde, and then…he was going to kiss the life out of her.

Hilde ran without a clear destination. All she knew was that she had to leave, had to get away from the sickening feeling that she was suffocating, breaking, dying.

'Wufei…why?'

Tears streamed down her face, creating cold salty swirls of moisture on her cheeks. She ignored them until they began to blur her vision. Then she hastily wiped them away with one gloved hand, holding the other one out in front of her as if to ward off the emotions that threatened to pull her to the ground. She ran, heedless of the soft, sinking snow that tried to stay her process, her breath coming in short bursts as her aching lungs struggled to bring in the cold air. Her thoughts had shattered like glass beneath the brutal blow of Wufei's betrayal and her mind kept repeating the same word over and over again.

'Why, why, why, why, WHY?'

Hilde's foot caught on something and she pitched forwards into the soft snow, wrenching her ankle painfully in the process.

'Shit! This is just great…'

Hilde sat up, cursing. But she stopped when she realized where she was.

Huge, snow capped pine trees loomed over her head and an almost overwhelming silence permeated into her brain.

'The forest. I'm in a forest. Why am I in a forest?'

Hilde pulled herself to her feet, wincing at the sharp pain in her foot as she put her weight on it.'I really hope I haven't broken that…'

Hilde looked at her surroundings, trying to remember if she'd ever seen this place before.'Well, Quatre _did_ say that there was a forest about a mile from his house. I must have walked farther than I thought.'

Snowflakes coated the top of Hilde's head and she shivered and hugged herself against the sudden gust of wind that threatened to knock her over. The stunning orangey purple of the sunset reminded her that it got awfully cold outside in the winter at night and the forest was not the best place to be at the moment. Especially if there happened to be any wild animals lurking nearby.'I can't go back. Wufei and Relena will still be there. I can't see them now, I just can't!'

Another brutal gust of wind tore at the hood of Hilde's coat and she decided that she had to go back or she'd turn into a popsicle.'And no man is worth freezing your ass over. Not even a man like Wufei…'

Hilde sighed and turned around to go back to the mansion and maybe cry herself to sleep in her room…and stopped short. The snow that had been falling gently all afternoon had increased its pace considerably and Hilde's deep footprints were now completely filled in.

"Oh shit," Hilde said mildly, shock taking over.

She was lost. Lost in the woods. Where bears and wolves and who the hell knew what else lived. And it was winter and cold and snowing and about to get really, really dark soon.

"I'm in big trouble…"

Wufei searched the kitchen for the third time, almost frantic with worry by this time. Hilde wasn't in the house. He had checked everywhere including all the bathrooms, the servant's quarters, the garage… everywhere! And no Hilde. Could she have left town? But, no, he had checked her room and all her clothes and womanly…accessories were still there. She wouldn't leave without those, right?'Maybe…'

Maybe, but Wufei wasn't so sure.'What if she didn't like the kiss? What if I pushed too much? What if I frightened her? What if she hates me and…'

And gold and chestnut braid and an impish grin appeared before him and cut into his thoughts.

"Hey Wu-man! Whatcha doing?"

"Have you seen Hilde?"

Duo blinked, surprised that Wufei didn't yell at him for the nickname and by the fact that he asked for Hilde. He hadn't thought they were close but then again, Duo had never been that observant. Noticing the little things was Heero's job."Not since lunch. Why?" "Never mind," Wufei exclaimed as he brushed past the braided American to check her room once again, a worried look on his face.

"What's with him?" Duo asked the empty kitchen. And getting no reply, he promptly put the situation out of his mind and went off to find Heero.

"What do you mean 'gone'?"

Silence met Wufei's terse question and he had to mentally restrain himself from shaking Heero in frustration. Wufei's search had ended up fruitless and he had decided to just gather everybody together and…well…interrogate them. Catherine and Dorothy had disappeared into their room after lunch and hadn't come out for the rest of the day so they could offer no suggestions as to where Hilde could have wandered off to. Relena had left soon after her little emotional breakdown, claiming that if she left the United Earth Spheres Alliance's high council alone for more than an hour they would start blowing up things. Neither Trowa nor Quatre had seen Hilde since earlier that afternoon and Duo had already told Wufei that he hadn't seen her either. Heero said she was gone. And that was it. And Wufei was all prepared to slice him to ribbons with his katana if he didn't start explaining.

"I said," Wufei snarled, grinding his teeth in an effort to keep his cool, "What do you mean 'gone'?"

A pair of hard, cobalt blue eyes gazed calmly back at him.

"I mean that she's gone. She left. Out the door."

Quatre's eyes flicked nervously to the window where he could see the quickly forming snowstorm swirl and beat against the glass outside.

"She's out in that?"

The fear that had been building up inside of Wufei suddenly took hold with a vengeance as he thought of Hilde alone in the storm. Unable to stop himself, Wufei gripped the collar of Heero's shirt roughly and pulled his face closer.

"When and why."

His voice was soft and dangerous, promising all sorts of violence if he did not receive the answers he was looking for. Heero did not attempt to pull away. He continued to look calmly into Wufei's eyes as he said in the same emotionless tone,

"About an hour ago. As to why, I think you can answer that better than me. She looked pretty upset about something."

Something flashed in Heero's eyes, something like an accusation and Wufei didn't much like it. His grip tightened in anger but when Heero remained still and silent he let go and brought a hand to his temple in an attempt to ward off the guilt that infused his body.'She must hate me. I never should have kissed her. I'm such a fool. Why did I think that I could actually love again?'

"Why-" Wufei's voice cracked and he tried again. "Why didn't you try to stop her?"

Heero must have saw the guilt and torment in Wufei's face because his eyes no longer glared at him in reproach, but regarded him sympathetically.

"Sometimes people just need to be alone."

Wufei sighed in defeat and sat down on the couch beside Duo, holding his head in his hands.

"Wufei…"

Quatre put a hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him but he pulled away.

Trowa tore his gaze away from the scene to observe the rapidly falling snow that had now piled three inches deep on the window sill and the ruddy orange of the sky as the sun dipped below the horizon.

"Whatever her reasons were for going, she can't stay out there in this. Night is coming soon and the cold will be almost unbearable. We have to find her. Now."

"I'll tell Rashid to get together a search party," Quatre offered.

Wufei spoke up. "I'm going with them."'I have to see her, to ask her forgiveness, to find out why…'

"Me too," Duo exclaimed, rising from his seat on the couch.

"We'll all go," Heero said.

Trowa nodded and said, "We can use the snowmobiles. They'll be quicker in this weather."

Catherine looked more than a little worried at the thought of her brother going out in the storm. Dorothy put her arms around her to comfort her and asked, quietly, "What should we do?"

Heero took over, snapping into soldier mode easily.

"You have to stay here in case she comes back or phones. There are radio systems in the snowmobiles. Just contact us if you hear from her. In the meantime you can get together some warm blankets and medical supplies. Hilde might be in need of them when we get her back here."

Wufei winced as Heero said that but said nothing, pressing his lips into a thin, white line.

"We'll check back with you every half-hour," Heero turned to look at the other pilots. "We'll check back with each other every twenty minutes. If she isn't found in two hours then alert the emergency services. Well need them."

Catherine looked very pale at this statement and gripped Dorothy's hand tightly in her own. Wufei felt slightly sickened but he nodded and went to get his jacket. As he walked by Duo grabbed onto his arm and pressed his nails into the bronze flesh.

"I don't know what happened between you two," he hissed. "But if Hilde ends up dead because of you I will personally send you to hell."

'Not if I send myself there first,' Wufei thought.

But he said nothing and Duo released his arm abruptly and walked out of the room, the others following close behind.

Wufei cast one last glance out the window and shivered.'Hilde. You've got to be okay. You've just got to.'

'I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I' gonna die. SHIT!'

Hilde kicked at a nearby tree trunk with her good foot and hurled insults at it when she stubbed her toes on the bark. Then she sat down in the snow and proceeded to laugh her ass off.

"Great job Hilde," she said out loud. "Just injure your other leg. Cripple yourself. Then you'll die for sure. I can see the headstone now. Hilde Schbieker, killed by her own stupidity."

All of a sudden, the thought didn't seem so funny.'Get a grip. You were a soldier. They taught you all kinds of nifty survival tips. So use 'em.'

"Okay," Hilde said, taking a deep breath. "Rule number one. Don't panic. Because panicking leads to stupidity and death. And that would be a bad thing."'A very bad thing.'

Hilde closed her eyes and stood absolutely still for a minute, concentrating only on breathing in and out.

'Okay. I'm calm. I'm not panicking. I can do this. I'm gonna survive. And then I'm gonna KILL Wufei because this is ALL HIS FAULT.'

Hilde opened her eyes and look at her surroundings. She noted the direction of the wind and the level of the sun, and how the clouds were forming in the sky. And came to this conclusion.'It's going to get frikken cold here very soon.' "Okay. Rule #2, inventory." Hilde searched through the many pockets of her coat and found some change, a button, a hairpin, and…a lighter. 'First time I've ever been glad to be a smoker.' "Rule #3, shelter." Hilde looked at her surroundings once again, noticing some particularly promising looking trees that had low swinging branches. "Perfect."

Hilde immediately began to dig a trench underneath one of the trees, shoveling with her gloved hands straight down about three feet, shoulder width and a little longer than body size, piling the snow on the windward side against the tree trunk to form a wind break. She then snapped off some of the branches and laid them on the ground to create flooring.'I'd never thought I'd say this but…I love OZ. Or at least their survival courses. Maybe I won't die after all.'

Hilde huddled down inside her little snow shelter and stuck her hands underneath her armpits. It wasn't all that warmer in the trench but at least it protected her from the wind.

"Rule #4, fire."

Hilde thanked whatever deity had seen fit to make sure that she had a lighter with her even after she promised never to smoke again and got rid of all her cigarettes. Old habits die hard. Then she dug out a small area in the corner of her shelter for a fire pit that would keep the flame out of the wind.

"Dry wood," Hilde said, looking around her. "I need dry wood. Where the fuck am I going to get dry wood?"'I knew that it couldn't be this easy. Stupid nature. Remind me to never leave a nice, dry, WARM place over some stupid guy ever again. Of course, Wufei isn't your average everyday stupid guy. Oh nooooo. He's an incredibly SEXY stupid guy. With a nice ass. And really kawaii eyes. And those lips…and now is NOT the time to be waxing poetic on some guy that probably could care less about me. I need to find some dry wood.'

Hilde sighed and left her trench reluctantly. Some of the branches that were covered by rocks ought to be dry enough. And if they weren't well…she was screwed.'Dammit.'

"Nothing in this section. I'm going to go check up by the river. Copy?"

"Roger that."

Duo replaced the radio com in its holder and revved up the engine on the snowmobile.'Quatre and Trowa sure have the neatest play toys. I bet the only reason this thing doesn't have a t.v. is because there's not enough room on the counsel.'

State-of-the-art or not, the snowmobile didn't allow Duo any kind of inside knowledge as to where Hilde might be. Wherever she was, one thing was clear. She was NOT on the roads. Which meant that she couldn't have gotten that far, especially in weather like this. Heero and Trowa had already covered the area around the mansion. Quatre was searching near the town and Wufei was heading for the woods, although Quatre had protested that it was too far for Hilde to have gotten that far or foot. Wufei had ignored this, saying he had a hunch that Hilde was there. And Heero, being the philosophical guru that he was, told him to follow his emotions.'Hhmph. What emotions?'

Duo was still pretty pissed at Wufei. It was obvious from the guilty look on his face that he had had something to do with Hilde's disappearance. Duo was certain that Hilde wouldn't leave like that unless she was really upset. And no one hurt his best friend without a little payback from Shinigami.

Duo upped the speed and practically flew across the snow-laden hills, the wind effectively freezing his face and whipping his braid back behind him. This was no night to be outside. And Hilde didn't even have a suitable winter jacket. She'd freeze for sure if she stayed out in this much longer.'Don't think like that. Hilde's strong. She was trained as a soldier, right? OZ probably taught her all kinds of nifty survival tricks.'

Still, as Duo neared the edge of the river an icy tendril of fear brushed across the back of his neck. The river was frozen, of course. But some of the spots were fragile. If Hilde had tried to walk across and fell through there would be no hope of saving her. She'd be dead.'You'd better pray that I find her, Chang. You'd better pray…'

Hilde fed the bits of dry kindling that she had gathered to the small, pitiful, almost just a puff of smoke fire that she had finally managed to get going after much cursing and moaning.

"Come on. Just burn for mamma. That's it. Don't go out. Just burn this nice piece of wood and make Hilde all nice and toasty warm."'I can't believe I'm talking to fire now. That's it. I've lost my mind. Too much stress. And plus my fingers are really starting to hurt…'

Hilde's mittens were sodden with the wet snow and her hands were numb and prickly.'Frostbite…'

Hilde had read all about what happens when blood refuses to flow to the extremities. She'd even seen picture of the less fortunate victims who's fingers and toes needed to be amputated. She shivered and rubbed her hands together as close to the fire as she dared.'I'm going to be okay. I have a fire now and that'll keep me warm until help comes.'

Hilde laughed bitterly at the thought.

"Help? What help? No one come out to the woods in the winter. And the others probably haven't even realized that I'm gone yet. And Wufei's probably too busy being wrapped up in Relena's arms to even think about me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'll never learn. Opening up to someone just leads to heartache."

But oh, such sweet heartache it was, while it lasted. Imagining that Wufei cared for her and that they might be together. And that kiss…'I should be happy. At least I got to kiss the person I loved before I die. How many people can say that?'

"A-hoooooooooooooooo!"

A noise interrupted Hilde's thoughts and made her heart jump in her chest.'Wolf. That was a wolf. There is a wolf nearby. And it's probably hungry. Oh God…'

"Don't panic," Hilde told herself ineffectively. "You've got a fire, right? Wild animals hate fire. So you just sit here by the nice fire and it won't come near you."

"A-hooooooooooooooo!"

This time the howl was a lot closer. Hilde whimpered and ducked down further in her trench.

'I want Wufei. I don't care about what he did. I just want him here, now. Oh God, somebody help me. Please. Wufei…'

Wufei paused, certain that he'd heard someone calling his name. But all he could hear was the howling of the wind against the frantic beating of his own heart. He sent Heero a brief message, telling him that he had arrived at his destination and then set out determinedly to find Hilde. He couldn't explain exactly why he thought that she was in the woods. It was just a feeling that wouldn't let go of him. The thickly falling snow blurred his vision and he waved at the flakes impatiently. The night was more frigid than anything he had ever experienced and the wind made it seem even colder. Wufei imagined Hilde as a block of ice and then put that thought quickly out of his mind.'She'll be okay. She _has_ to be okay. Because if she's not okay…'

"Damn," Wufei cursed as a sudden gust of wind tore the hood of his jacket back, leaving his head uncovered and unprotected from the chill of the night air.'Can't stop now. Have to find Hilde.'

'Why?' his subconscious asked. 'Why must you find her?''Because.'

'That's not an answer.''Because she might need my help.'

'Why would she need your help. Why not someone else's help?''I don't care who's help she gets, just as long as she's okay.'

'But why,' the voice continued stubbornly.

"Because I love her," Wufei said aloud, finally acknowledging the truth that had been before him all along.'Because I love her. And I'm not going to let another person that I love die on me again.'

"Hunerred bottless sof beer onna wall. Hunnerred bottless sof beeeer! Ya take one down an' passer 'round….sssixty-two bottless of beer onna wall."

Hilde knew that this was bad. She was slurring her words like crazy and she could no longer feel her hands and feet. But the strange thing was that she no longer felt cold. Just extremely tired. It would feel so good to just lay her head down and drift off to sleep. But Hilde knew better than that.

"Nuh uh Hilde-babe. You go to ssleep and that's it for you. Bye-bye. No more Hilde. Just a frozen Schbieker-sicle."

That thought made Hilde giggle for some reason that she couldn't quite figure out. And then it happened. The snow that had covered the lower branches of the tree that she was trenched in underneath was melting in the heat from her little fire. And a big pile of slushy, wet snow just plopped right down on Hilde's fire and put it out in a puff of steam.

"Oh shit," Hilde said. And then because the situation was SO ironic she started to laugh until tears ran down her cheeks and froze there, on her skin. After a while, the hysteria left her and she sat silently, looking at the remains of her fire.'There was a very important reason for having this fire. What was it? It's too cold. I forget…'

"A-hooooooooo."'Ah, yes. I remember now.'

"Shit, shit, SHIT!"

Hilde tried to judge how far a way the wolf was. From the sound of it, close. And getting closer.

"Ohh, goawaygoawaygoaway!!"

The wolf apparently wasn't listening because it's next howl sounded like it was a mere ten feet from where she stood. Hilde looked around for something to defend herself and found only small twigs and sticks from her fire pit. Not the most suitable weapon for fending off a hungry wolf.'What I wouldn't give for Heero's gun right about now.'

A growl sounded somewhere above her left ear and Hilde shrieked and jerked to the other side of the trench. In a brilliant flash of quick thinking she whipped off her boot and threw it in the direction of the growl. She heard a sharp yip and then silence. Hilde sat absolutely still for a few minutes, trying to calm the frantic beating of her heart. Her first not-so-coherent thought was,

"Great. Now my foot's going to get cold."

The chilling sound of a wolf howling echoed off the pine trees in the distance and Wufei stiffened in response. If wild animals had found Hilde before he did…well, he'd hate to think what might have happened.

"Wufei. Wufei, do you read me? Over."

Wufei picked up the mike and replied, "I read you. What do you want, Duo?"

"Heero just checked in with me and he hasn't seen any sign of her in his area. Quatre hasn't had any luck either. She's not down by the lake. I checked that whole area to death. I was hoping that you had more luck."

Wufei could hear the hopeful tone in Duo's voice and his heart clenched painfully.

"I haven't seen anything…yet."

"Oh."

The disappointment was unbearable.

"I'm going to find her," Wufei reassured. "I'm going to find her, I promise."

"Why should I believe you," Duo snapped back. "It's your fault she's out in this…this death trap. It's all your fault!"

Wufei said nothing. Because it was his fault. And he felt more guilty than if he'd killed her with his own two hands. Silence filled the air and Wufei wondered if he'd lost the connection.

"I will find her," he promised Duo once more before hanging up and returning to his search. It was getting close to the two hour deadline and one thing was for certain: Wufei wasn't leaving until he found Hilde.

Warm. She was so warm. She was finally safe. Hilde sighed and basked in the warmth, the light of the sun beaming down on her upturned face. Everything was good here. Everything was fine. She could finally rest and close her eyes…and let the dreams take her away. But…something was missing. A tiny twinge of fear twisted in her stomach. Something was missing, something important. What could it be?

A face. Smooth, oval shape. Black piercing eyes framed by thick, dark lashes. A perfect curvature of peach-coloured lips and a glossy mane of shoulder-length black hair.'Wufei…'

His arms wrapped around her, comforting and strong. The leanness of his body melded with hers and she smiled happily.

"Love you," he whispered softly in her ear.

She tried to reply but found that the words refused to come from her lips. Like they were frozen. Frozen…

Cold. It was so cold. She was so cold and her feet hurt and hands hurt and he stomach hurt and she was SO cold. Where was Wufei? She was cold. He should be here to warm her up. Where was Wufei?'I can't stay here. I can't. I'll die. I don't want to die. I want to live and get married and have kids and grow old and cranky and talk about my health with other old and cranky people. I want to live!'

But her eyes were impossibly heavy and she couldn't stand to keep them open one minute longer.'Just for second. I'll just close my eyes for a second, just to get warm and then I'll open them and get out of here.'

The lie was pathetic really. Hilde knew that if she closed her eyes now, she would never get up again. But she was so tired and cold and she couldn't stay awake any more. As her lids slammed shut, Hilde thought one thing:'Wufei. I'm sorry.'

Then she thought no more.

Wufei shivered and pulled his jacket tighter around his body. The night was black and cold, hazy clouds obstructing the face of the moon, swirling madly in the harsh, biting wind. Snow fell thickly through the air, covering the ground and the treetops with its freezing, crystalline substance. It was not a night to be outside. Yet here he was. A dark shape against the snow. Searching for the one thing that made him feel human again.

'Hilde, where _are_ you?'

Wufei peered into the darkness of the woods, trying to separate the shadows for any sign of human life. He could find none.

'Damn! I must find her. I must. She wouldn't be out here if it weren't for me, if it weren't for my unworthiness.'

Memories of Meiran and colony A0206 flooded his mind and the pain that came with those memories almost blinded him.

<flashback>

Her eyes were black and flashing with defiance. They sparkled more than the glittering tiara that she wore on her head. Her childish face was twisted into a scowl that marred her lovely features and her fingers twisted into the side of her bridal costume in barely disguised contempt. It was almost disrespectful, the way she looked at him. Wufei could tell that this woman would be difficult, if not impossible, to tame. He sighed and adjusted the collar to his own wedding costume, his ebony locks swinging freely over his face, spilling down towards his shoulders in a glossy mane of black ink. As he approached the girl she turned up her nose and sniffed,

"You're that scholar boy."

Wufei tried to control the coldness in his voice as he replied, "You're dissatisfied?"'Why must I marry anyway? All I want is to be able to continue my studies and be left in peace. And it doesn't look like I'll get much of that with this onna. Curse you, Meiran…'

Meiran's soft lips twisted into a sneer, her eyes radiating the hatred in her heart.

"A person like you has no right to carry on the line of our proud clan."

This was the last straw. Wufei may have to marry to satisfy the elders, but he was damned if would stand here and listen to this…this ONNA insult him. Wufei flung down his hat and robe and shouted angrily,

"Oh? Well, it certainly wasn't my idea. Do as you please!"

And with that last comment he stalked out of the wedding pavilion, leaving the sneering Meiran and the distraught elder's behind him.

Wufei breathed in the heady scent of the wildflowers, reveling in the peacefulness that they evoked within him. The sun was warm and wonderful against his skin. Wufei lazily leafed through the pages of a book he had brought with him and read a passage that interested him greatly.Once the Dragon Clan was famed throughout Eurasia as the strongest fighting group. But there came a time when those in power, fearing the Dragon Clan, forced them off of the continent of China, which was their homeland. They were exiled to the aging Colony A0206 which had been built almost 170 years ago.

A small bluebird chose this moment to perch precariously on Wufei's shoulder and he regarded it affectionately before returning to his reading.

Suddenly a shadow fell over Wufei's form and he glanced up only to be confronted by a pair of flashing black eyes and an imperious scowl.

"Wufei!" she shouted.

The bird on Wufei's shoulder became startled at the sudden noise and flew away. Wufei sighed heavily and looked back down at his book.'So much for my peaceful day.'

Meiran pushed some wispy strands of black hair out of her eyes and said,

"You call yourself a man? I thought that, after becoming my partner, you'd change a little. I guess I was completely wrong."

Wufei refused to acknowledge her presence, pretending to be completely absorbed in his book.'Maybe if I don't talk to her, she'll just go away.'

He chuckled wryly at the thought.'Of course she won't just go away. She's the most stubborn woman on the colony, possibly the whole universe.'

Meiran's scowl deepened, if that was even possible. Wufei was ignoring her. And she hated being ignored.

"Why don't you ever practice fighting techniques, like the others?"'Hhmph.'

Again with the fighting. Meiran was always nagging him about not choosing to be a warrior. Truthfully, Wufei would much rather read a book than wield a sword. It wasn't that he was a coward. It was just that he couldn't think of any reason to battle. War was stupid. He couldn't understand his tiny wife's vehemence in regard to fighting. He decided to ask her.

" Why... do you fight?"

The question seemed to take Meiran by surprise. She stumbled about for an answer before replying,

"For justice!"

Wufei closed his book and gave Meiran a piercing stare.

"Justice?" he asked. "You really think there is such a thing?"

Apparently Meiran took the tone of his voice as a challenge because she took a fighting stance and said defiantly,

"Do you want me to show you?"

Wufei's lips curved into a small smile of amusement.'That onna thinks she can best me? You should never underestimate your opponent.' Wufei pulled his glasses from his nose and set them down beside his book, taking his own fighting stance.

"...Go ahead."

Both of them stood still and silent, waiting for the first move. Tension stretched between them like a fishing line, taut and invisible. The sun, which had beamed so brightly before, was now covered by a layer of thick clouds and thunder rumbled in the distance. A sudden flash of lightning distracted Meiran for an instant and in that instant Wufei struck. His left arm swept down in a powerful ark and Meiran had to struggle to lift her right arm for a block in time. Cursing softly under her breath, she executed a quick turn, hoping to catch Wufei off guard. Her right leg came out to sweep her husband off his feet but he anticipated her move and avoided the attack. Thunder vibrated through the air, closer this time. Meiran darted her fist out for a quick punch. Wufei ducked under her advance and then kicked her, hard, just underneath the ribs. At that moment the heavens opened up and wept, the rain hiding Meiran's tears of pain as she knelt, stunned, at Wufei's feet.

"How... how could it be?" Meiran stuttered, her breath coming in sharp gasps as she struggled to get up. Her hand pressed to her stomach as she winces at the white-hot knife of pain that shoots through her body. " I am the strongest of our clan..."

Wufei looked down at her, debating on whether to help her to her feet or not. For a moment, sympathy and guilt filed him and he reached out his hand, but anger took over his other emotions and he retracted the pro-offered arm.'Don't let her see that you are weak. This is what she asked for. It's time to teach her a lesson about the real world.'

"You think you're Nataku?" he snapped, cruelly. "You have a lot of nerve, calling yourself by that name. There is no justice, except in individual circumstances. A fight based on such a thing is meaningless."

Using all the strength in her arms, Meiran finally managed to get on her feet. She stood unsteadily; wiping at the dirt that stained her face.

"I understand that!" she shouted over the thunder. "But even so, I have to fight! That's the way of our people!"

Wufei shook his head and walked away, leaving her glaring furiously at his retreating back.'I hate you Chang Wufei! I hate you!'

As the rain continues to pour down, Wufei's reply rings clearly in his subconscious.'I hate you too, Meiran.'

OZ Mobile Suits crashed through the colony's defenses, destroying the beautiful ancient buildings and burning the elegant gardens with malicious ease. Explosions rocked the ground and fire crackled and snapped gleefully as it consumed everything in its path. Meiran jammed a helmet onto her head and climbed up into a Mobile Suit, anxious to get to the battleground.

One of the mechanics spotted her intent and shouted,

"Stop! You can't handle that! It's not something a woman can pilot."

"Then I hereby give up being a woman! I am Nataku!" Meiran called back, impatiently, as she got into the suit and closed it up.

The scene was chaotic. Meiran sliced through Mobile Suit after Mobile Suit, screaming her triumph to the skies. But something caught her eye. The field of flowers that she had confronted Wufei in only weeks before was now engulfed in flames from the battle.'The flowers. Wufei's flowers…I can't let them burn.' "The flowers are dying," Meiran murmured to herself. "I have to take this fight outside…"

With this thought, Meiran took off into space, goading the rest of the Mobile Suits into following her.

Wufei ran after the Suit, the flower petals swirling around him in a frenzy of brilliant colour. Panic and fear clenched around his heart and his breath came short.'What does she think she is doing? She'll be killed!' "Stop!" he shouted after her. "You don't have the strength to pilot that! Come back!"

"Don't give me orders!" she shouted back. "This is a fight for justice!"

And then she was gone, the Suit flying far off into the dark reaches of space. Wufei stood in the field of flowers, bewildered by the intense pain that closed around him.'Meiran…'

"Stupid woman!"'How does she think she can uphold justice without any strength!?'

Mobile suits surrounded the unfortunate Chinese girl and she glanced around her, a twinge of fear marring her face.'I…can't do this. I_ must_ do this! For the sake of the colony. For the sake of justice!'

Her look of fear changed to determination and she yelled in once last act of defiance,

"Come and get me! I am justice!"

Wufei climbed into the cockpit of Shenlon and prepared it for takeoff. Below him, the mechanic in charge of repairing the Shenlon cried out,

"Shenlon doesn't have any weapons..."

"Fine," Wufei cut him off. "I'm not fighting for justice."

"Then why are you going?"

"Because I'm not such a coward that I can stand by while my wife is killed!"

Wufei took off after Meiran at top speed.'Please Ancestors…let me reach her in time.'

From space, Wufei could see the battlefield on the colony more clearly. He also spotted some Mobile Suits with large metal canisters.'That can only mean…'

"What's that? Germ warfare!?"'The Federation and OZ would go this far?'

Anger surfused Wufei's being and he cursed,

"Bastards!!!"'What cowards!! To use such dirty tactics on a defenseless colony. It is dishonorable. They must pay…'

Meiran winced as another barrage of bullets pummeled her suit.'I can't take much more of this.'

"I... I won't lose!" she screamed in frustration. "I can't lose to these people!"

Suddenly, another Mobile Suit came onto the scene. Meiran gasped as she recognized the form of the Shenlon Gundam.

"Wu-Wufei…"'I can't believe he came for me. I thought he hated me…'

"Leave this to me!" Wufei ordered, sliding in front of her and taking the brunt of the attack. The Shenlon shuddered violently under the rain of bullets.

"WUFEI!"

Struggling to keep Meiran out of harms way, Wufei stuttered,

"Hu-hurry up and get the hell out of here!"

Meiran refused to move.'Damn you, listen to me for once!'

"A wife should listen to her husband!!"

After a long silence, Meiran replied, " ...Hai..." and starts to turn back towards the colony.

Wufei turned to the OZ Mobile Suits and said, "You Oz troops, you are weak cowards with no honor. You sicken me."

One of the OZ pilots angrily replied, "I can't allow His Excellency, Treize's name to be dirtied in a place such as this!"'Treize... That's the name of the man in charge of this?'

A Mobile Suit headed straight for the retreating Meiran, colliding with her in a huge explosion.

"MEIRAN!!"'No, no it can't be! Please…'

The small body of the child floats amid the wreckage of her Mobile Suit. Wufei scoops her up gently with one of Shenlon's hands.

"Meiran," Wufei pleads. "Are you alright?"

Meiran opened her eyes and murmured, "Wufei…"

"Hang on, Meiran!"

"I- I'm Nataku..." she protests.

" ...Yeah. You're Nataku. I won't call you Meiran anymore..."'Just please don't die. I'll call you anything you want, only…'

"You could... praise me a little, you know..." Meiran breathed, coughing raspily. "I protected... that field of... flowers."'Flowers! She thinks I care about flowers!! It's her I care about…'

"I-idiot..." Wufei half-sobbed.

'How could she do this? '

Meiran's eyes closed in a weary gesture and she sighed, "Please... take me to that field..."

Wufei complied and brought her back to the colony. He took her to the field where they fought. The fire has been put out and the flowers are still blooming, protected. He placed her down gently, taking care not to jostle her injuries. He then sat down beside her, glancing anxiously at her face.

Meiran smiled at him. The first smile she's ever given him.

"It's... beautiful... isn't it. I've never appreciated flowers like this before."

A silence fell over them for a few minutes. Then Meiran asked, "Wufei..."

" ...What?"

Uncertainty filled her weak voice as she said,

"I... was strong, wasn't I? You weren't ashamed of me as your wife, were you?"

"Yeah..." Wufei agreed. "You're strong. ...Stronger than anyone."

"No...," she protested. "You are... stronger..."

Then she slumped over onto his shoulder, limp and cold.

Wufei started to panic once more. "Hey...?"

Her shook her hard. Once. Twice. No response.

"Hey!? Open your eyes! I haven't yet shown myself worthy of being your husband! NATAKU!"

Meiran's features dissolved into the beautiful smile of one who is finally experiencing true peace. Her chest rose once and then fell, and then never rose again.'No no no no… This can't be happening. You can't be dead. Dammit, you _can't_ leave me!'

"NATAKU!!!!"'I was too weak, I could not protect you, Nataku.'

Wufei looked at the body of his wife, and then the solid form of the Shenlon Gundam standing beside him.'But I will protect the rest of the colonies. I promise to bring justice to those who would threaten the peace. I will avenge your death.' "Watch Nataku," Wufei shouted to the sky, tears streaming down his face. "I swear I will bring justice!"

<end of flashback>

A cold gust of wind brought Wufei back from his thoughts abruptly. He shuddered and swallowed back the hard lump that had lodged itself in his throat.'My weakness has killed all that I love. I cannot permit that to happen again.'

"Wufei? Wufei! Are you there?"

Wufei picked up the com link and said, "What is it Quatre?"

"It's passed the two hour mark. I've already signaled to Dorothy and Catherine to call the emergency services. There's nothing more we can do."

Wufei's eyes narrowed and a sneer crossed his face.

"I'm not coming back without her Quatre."

"But Wufei, you can't stay out here in this type of weather much longer. You'll freeze."

"Then I'll freeze, dammit! The rest of you can all go home but I'm no leaving until I find her and that's final," Wufei shouted and cut the connection before he could hear any more of Quatre's objections.

'I'm not giving up. Not yet. I'm not giving up on you, Hilde. So you damn well better be alive when I find you.'

Wufei swept the area with his eyes once more, straining to see through the darkness and blinding snow. Something directed his attention to a small gray rock, almost hidden in the snow. His instincts went into overdrive. Wufei left the snowmobile and walked over to the rock, his boots sinking deeply into the soft snow.'This is silly. It is just a rock. I should be looking for Hilde not wasting my time on this stupid rock. So why do I feel like I should take a closer look at it?'

As Wufei drew closer a fierce gust of wind swept away the snow from the rock's surface and Wufei saw that it wasn't a rock at all. It was a boot. Wufei's heartbeat quickened and he practically ran over to the abandoned piece of footwear, digging it out of the snow hastily.'A boot. A woman's boot. Hilde's boot.'

Wufei looked frantically around him, his eyes lighting on a strange depression in the snow, underneath one of the pine trees. He ran to the tree, stumbling in anticipation as he went. Slowly, the contents of the trench came into view. A hand….an arm…a face…

"Hilde!"

Wufei jumped into the trench and gathered the limp body into his arms.'She's so cold.' "Oh please be alive. Please…"

Wufei tore off his gloves and pressed his fingers to the chilled flesh of Hilde's neck, searching for a pulse.'Please.'

There. A pulse! But it was so faint, Wufei couldn't be entirely sure that it wasn't just his imagination.

"I need to get you warm somehow," Wufei muttered.

He was too far away from Quatre's compound to take Hilde back there. She'd die before they even got close.'I remember passing a hunting lodge near here. I can take her there.'

Wufei lifted Hilde's slight body easily and carried her to his snowmobile. He sent a brief message to Dorothy, telling her that he had found Hilde and relating the location he was taking her to. Then he secured her against his chest and took off at top speed for the lodge.'Hold on. Just hold on a little longer. Don't die on me.'

Wufei carried Hilde into the hunting lodge and placed her down on the floor in front of the fireplace. After examining the mantel above the fireplace, Wufei determined that it was actually gas powered and flicked it on. Instantly, orange and yellow flames licked the edges of some fake looking logs and filled the room with a flickering light, and much more importantly, warmth. Wufei knelt down beside Hilde and checked her over carefully. Her breathing was shallow and her cheeks and hands were chalky white. She did not stir when he shook her or called her name. He lifted her hand to check for a pulse…and didn't find one.

'Shit!'

Wufei's eyes filled with tears and he began to sob brokenly.

'No no no no…how could this happen? This can't happen. I can't let this happen.'

Wufei buried his head in Hilde's chest and clutched at her wildly, as if to keep her spirit from departing.

'Don't leave me! You can't leave me now, I just found you. Oh God I can't be too late. Not again…'

Wufei went still as he felt the slow rise and fall of Hilde's chest. She was still breathing. How could she still be breathing without a pulse? Wufei pressed two shaky fingers to her neck and felt for the carotid artery. A weak pulse throbbed slowly under his fingers. It wasn't much, but it was there. Wufei checked her wrist again. Still no pulse.

'Of course…'

Working with a professional doctor like Sally Po over the last few years Wufei had picked up a few things about medicine.

'Severe Hypothermia occurs when the core temperature of the body is between 92 and 86 degrees. Skin colour is pale, pupils dilate…'

Wufei opened one of Hilde's eyes and saw how it reacted to the light.

'Yep. Dilated. At 90 degrees the body tries to move into hibernation, shutting down all peripheral blood flow and reducing breathing rate and heart rate. If you can't get a radial pulse at the wrist it indicates a core temp below 90 - 86 degrees. At 86 degrees the body is in a state of "metabolic icebox." The person looks dead but is still alive.'

Wufei observed the bluish tinge around Hilde's fingernails and lips and nodded to himself.

'She's at 86 degrees at least, but how can I tell if she's still alive?'

Wufei tried to remember what Sally had told him. Panic was flooding his mind and making it difficult for him to think rationally. He had never felt so helpless.

'That's not true. I felt this way when Meir-Nataku died. No! I'm not going to lose Hilde like that! I can do this, I just have to think. Come _on_ think!'

Then, as if Sally was right there beside him, telling him what to do, Wufei knew how he could tell if Hilde were alive or not.

'If the person is curled in the fetal position try to open their arms up from it. If they curl back up, the person is alive. Dead muscles won't contract only live muscles.'

Wufei took one of Hilde's frozen arms from it's position against her chest and held his breath as he pulled it away…and let go.

It curled back.

Wufei could have wept for joy. Hilde was still alive. She was alive!

'But she won't stay that way if you don't get her warmed up, Chang.'

Wufei turned the gas fireplace up as far as it would go and then proceeded to strip Hilde of her wet clothing. He stopped when she was down to her bra and panties, hesitating to go any further. But when he felt how cold her bare flesh was, he decided that these sopping articles of clothing could not be allowed to stay on either. He removed these and set them by the fireplace to dry.

'It's only the female body. You've seen it hundreds of times before. You were _married_ for heaven's sake! This isn't any different.'

Still, Wufei couldn't help the blush that spread across his cheeks at the sight of Hilde's vulnerable nakedness and he tried to avert his eyes as much as he could.

'Dry clothes. She needs dry clothes.'

Wufei searched through the lodge but whoever used it last had taken everything with them when they left. There wasn't even a sheet or blanket on the bed. Wufei was about to cry out in frustration before he thought of an idea.

'I can use my own clothes. It's warm in here. I can get by in just my pants.'

Wufei quickly stripped off his heavy parka and considered draping it over Hilde. But it was wet from the snow outside and he didn't want to risk it. He took off his long white overcoat and slipped it underneath Hilde's shoulders, wrapping her up in it. Hilde was so small that the coat almost reached her ankles. Wufei rolled up the sleeves and took her slim, pale hands in his own. Her skin felt slightly hard and rubbery, a waxy kind of feeling. When Wufei placed a hand against her cheek he found that the skin was the same way.'Frostnip.'

At least, Wufei hoped it was only frostnip. If it were frostbite than it was unlikely that the condition could be reversed.'At least the skin's not blistered.'

Wufei remembered the treatment for frostnip clearly. He bent his head down to Hilde's face and blew softly on her cheek, letting the heat of his breath thaw the chilled skin. While he was doing this, he brought Hilde's hands up to rest against his bare stomach, hoping the warmth from his own body would transfer into hers. Her hands were unbelievably cold and Wufei shivered at the contact…and something more. Wufei tried to distract himself from the contact by repeating textbook treatments for frostnip.

'Rewarm the area gently, generally blowing warm air on it or placing the area against a warm body part. Do not, under any circumstances, rub the affected area. This can damage the effected tissue by having ice crystals tear the cell.'

Wufei concentrated on the soft fluttering of breath between Hilde's slightly parted lips and lay down beside her, pulling her into a close embrace.

'Please be all right. Hilde…wake up. I need you. Please, don't leave me now.'

Hilde walked through a heady green mist, trying to see where she was. She didn't recognize anything around her. There were trees, as tall as a skyscraper, and a crystal blue river that skipped merrily over the gray rock and stones, pooling into a small lake where the sun set in the distance. A bridge spanned across the river, beyond which Hilde could see a brilliant golden light, although whether that was due to the sun, or something else, she could not tell. Standing on the bridge was a girl, not much younger than Hilde. She was Chinese in decent and her almond shaped black eyes sparkled with spirit and more than a little mischief. Her body was small but graceful and full of hidden power. She wore a traditional costume, pure white and her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail. She reminded Hilde of someone. If only she could remember who…

"Welcome to my place, Hilde," the girl called when she was in hearing distance.'How does she know my name?'

"You're place?"

"That's right."

"Could you tell me where I am? I can't seem to remember…"

The girl regarded Hilde sadly for a moment, both of them remaining in an uneasy silence. Hilde was getting nervous from all the scrutiny and was about to break it when the girl put out a hand to beckon her closer. Hilde hesitated and then shrugged.'She's only a child. I have nothing to be afraid of.'

Hilde walked out to the middle of the bridge where the girl was standing. She could see the evident sorrow in the girl's eyes, a pain so deep that Hilde almost asked what the matter was. But she changed her question to,

"Where are we?"

"I told you. This is my place."

"But where exactly is your place," Hilde asked, getting frustrated.

The girl shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and replied, "That's up to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you believe in heaven?"

Hilde blinked and tried to sort out her confused feelings. This conversation was getting more than a little strange. She began to wonder if she might be dreaming or hallucinating or something.

"I suppose so," she looked around her, puzzled. "Is this heaven? 'Cause I thought that it would be bigger. Or at least have…I dunno…angels? Singing choirs? Fluffy white clouds?"

The corners of the girl's mouth curved upwards and her eyes lost some of their sadness.

"No. This is my place. I suppose you could call it limbo. It's like…a waiting juncture. A crossroad to the place beyond."

Hilde nodded, wondering what she could have possibly eaten before bed to prompt such a strange and elaborate dream.

"You don't believe me," the girl stated. "That's okay. I didn't expect you too. But I brought you here to show you something."

"You brought me here?" Hilde asked, startled.

The girl nodded solemnly. "That's right. I wanted to show you something, Hilde Schbieker."

"How do you know my name?"

The girl's lips twisted into a wry smile and she said, "I have been watching you for a while now. But that doesn't matter. Hilde do you remember what happened to you, before you came here?"

Hilde tried to recall the moments before she woke up in this strange place but it was hard. Everything was blurry in her mind. She shook her head.

"Look," the girl gestured to the side of the bridge, to the river. Hilde leaned over and looked at the running water. At first, all she saw was her own reflection. Then, slowly, another image appeared. A dark wood, filled with snow-capped pine trees. A blistering storm and a feeling of extreme cold. Hilde shivered in response to the scene.

"There," the girl pointed. "Do you see?"

And Hilde did see. She saw herself, walking in the snow, crying. She saw herself building a trench and making a fire. She saw herself throwing her boot into the darkness, a look of total terror on her face.

"I don't understand. Why am I out there in the storm?"

The surface of the water changed to show another face. This one had smooth olive-coloured skin, flashing obsidian eyes, and curved peach hued lips. His hair was black as night and it hung freely across his face, clinging to his high cheekbones. And Hilde remembered.

"Wufei!"

"Yes," the girl replied, her voice sounding wistful. "I watch him often."

Hilde knew who the girl reminded her of. She had the same eyes, the same hair. Even the way her body moved reminded her of him. Hilde looked into the water with longing. She missed those eyes, that face. She wondered how could have ever forgotten…

"You remember now? Why you are here?"

"Yes, "Hilde whispered. "I found Wufei and Relena together. I was upset. I ran outside and got lost in the storm…" A realization hit Hilde. "Am I dead?"

The girl shook her head. "No. Not yet, anyway. But you are pretty close. You've got to decide what your destiny will be."

"What do you mean?"

"This bridge is a pathway between life and death. You have the power to choose which way you will go. This way," the girl gestured towards the misty woods where Hilde had come from, "leads back to life. While this way," she gestured towards the golden light, "leads to the great beyond. Heaven or whatever you believe happens to you after death. There is much warmth there, and happiness. But you have to choose for yourself."

Hilde bit down hard on her lip and considered what she was just told.'Do I really want to go back? Wufei doesn't love me. He's already shown that. And I don't want to be lonely again. Maybe I should just choose death. It would be easier. No more pain…'

"You're wrong," the girl said, snapping Hilde out of her thoughts. "There is pain. The pain of not being with the one you love is deeper than any physical pain you could imagine."

The girl wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and stared longingly down into the river, watching the image of Wufei waver in the water.

"Are you…?"

"Yes. My name is…was Meiran. I was Wufei's wife."

Hilde suddenly felt ashamed and embarrassed of her feelings for Wufei, and even a tiny bit jealous of this woman who had owned Wufei's heart in a way she never could.

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered.

"Don't be," Meiran said. "I'm not sorry that I died. I was able to protect the weak. That's all that matters to me."

Hilde was confused.

"Then why-"

"Why am I here in limbo?"

Hilde nodded.

Meiran sighed and said, "He keeps me here. His pain and guilt. His loneliness…I don't want him to be alone anymore. I thought that you might be the one to take my place, to help him cope."

"No," Hilde shook her head. "Wufei doesn't love me. I can't be the one you speak of."

Meiran glanced sharply into Hilde's face and saw the pain in her eyes.

"This wasn't what I wanted to show you."

"Then what?"

The image in the water changed once again, to a small dark room where two figures lay, huddled together in front of a fire. Hilde gasped when she recognized the figures as her and Wufei.

"W-what?"

"Watch," ordered Meiran. And Hilde obeyed.

Wufei held Hilde close, praying to all the Ancestors he could remember that she would be all right, that she would wake up and forgive him and that everything would be all right.'What could be taking Heero and the others so long? Hilde needs medical attention. If she doesn't warm up soon she might…no don't think of that. Just hold on, please Hilde. I couldn't stand to lose you. I love you.'

"I love you," Wufei whispered, touching his warm lips to Hilde's frozen ones in a tender kiss before collapsing in tears on her chest.'Please don't leave me again…'

"He…he loves me?" Hilde's eyes filled with tears and she pressed a shaky hand to her throat in disbelief.

"Of course," Meiran retorted, a little bit of arrogance that made her seem even more like Wufei showing through. "You're really very silly. Do you honestly think he'd fall for Relena? After he kissed you and everything?"

Hilde blushed and said, "Well…I…"

"Stupid. He does love you. And I know that if you die his heart will be destroyed. I think you should consider your choice a bit more carefully before you decide."'If Wufei truly loves me then there is no reason for me to die. I want to be with him. This I know for sure.'

"Why are you showing me this? Don't you want Wufei to stay faithful to you?"

Meiran's face lit up in a beautiful smile.

"He will always carry a piece of me with him. But I want him to move on and be happy. His loneliness keeps me close, keeps me from crossing. I am the only thing that fills the empty void in his heart. But if you were to love him then I would no longer be needed, and I could finally rest. I just want to be sure that you'll take care of him. He can be quite a handful."

Hilde smiled back at this remarkable woman.

"I'll do my best. I'll love him with all my heart."

Meiran nodded.

"That's all I ask. You'd better go. He's waiting for you."

"What will you do?"

Meiran looked back at the light across the bridge.

"Once you go back there will no longer be any need for me to stay here. I can go beyond and be with my clan once again. Do not worry about me. Now go, and give him a kiss from me. And if you have a baby girl, maybe you'd consider the name Meiran?"

Hilde blushed at the thought of actually having children with Chang Wufei, but she replied, "It's either that or Nataku."

Meiran laughed and hugged Hilde close, kissing her on the cheek.

"Go," she whispered in her ear. "Be happy together. He deserves to love again."

And with that, Hilde wandered back across the bridge into the hazy green mist. The air seemed to get colder and colder the further she went until she was shivering all over. The haze got so thick that she couldn't see and the air pressed out of her lungs, making her collapse on the ground, hugging her arms and shaking all over. It was so cold, so unbelievably cold. She didn't know if she could stand it. The darkness took over her mind until…warmth. There was warmth. It was still freezing but not as cold as before and her lungs felt like they were working once again. Hilde felt numb all over. Her cheeks, hands, and feet hurt and she was terribly thirsty. But there were warm arms around her. Warm, strong arms. Wufei's arms.

Hilde tried to open her eyes and found that they were as heavy as lead. On about the third try she managed to crack them open a minuscule amount. She saw Wufei's face pressed into the crook of her neck, his eyes tightly closed, his cheeks streaked with tears. Hilde smiled and tried to lift a hand up to brush the stray strands of hair out of his face but she found that she couldn't move. So she opened her mouth instead and emitted a small squeaking sound. Wufei's eyes snapped open and he lifted his head frantically. Hilde looked at his worried face and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Hilde! You are alive!"

"W-wu….f-fei?"

Hilde was shivering now. Her whole body shook with shock and cold and emotion and other things. Wufei held back his tears of joy and gathered her close to his chest, hoping to slow her shivering. Hilde listened to the steady beat of his heart and was comforted. He loved her. She was sure of it.

"W-wu…f-fei?"

"Shh, you need to save your strength. You gave me quite a scare. I thought," Wufei's voice caught in his throat and he had to wait a few seconds before he could go on. "I thought for a moment that I would lose you."

Hilde smiled and shook her head.

"Y-you can't get r-rid…of me that…easily, Wufei."

Wufei smiled back and hugged Hilde closer to him, tightening his arms in a near suffocating embrace. Hilde didn't mind though. She was alive. And Wufei loved her. That was all that mattered.

"I'm sorry," Wufei said.

"Sorry? For what?"

"I…the kiss…I didn't mean to-"

"Shh," Hilde lifted a finger to his lips. "Y-you don't have to explain. It d-doesn't…matter anymore."

Wufei was about to ask what she meant by that when a pair of soft lips met with his own, effectively stopping all thought. He returned the kiss eagerly, slipping his tongue in to mingle with Hilde's when she parted her lips, exploring the sweet crevasse of her mouth. Her hands came up to twine in his hair and his arms rubbed in gentle circles on her back, both soothing and arousing her. When they came up for air Wufei whispered into her ear, "Wo ai ni, Hilde. I love you.."

"I know," Hilde sighed back and their mouths met again for another searing kiss. There was no telling just how far they might have gone if the door to the lodge hadn't swung open at that particular instant, letting in a blast of cold air, four very worried looking Gundam pilots and a whole barrage of EMTs. They all stood in the doorway, just staring at the couple. Hilde blushed a bright red. Wufei just looked irritated.

"Uh…are we interrupting something guys?" Duo teased, breaking the embarrassed silence. "'Cause we can come back later."

"Shut up, Maxwell and get your butt over here," Wufei ordered. "Hilde needs medical assistance."

"Would that happen to be mouth-to-mouth that you were doing, Wu-man?" Duo continued with a large grin on his face. But he came to sit by Hilde's side and soon she was looked over by all the EMTs, covered in nice warm blankets and heating pads, fed a sugary-jello substance that was supposed to help with dehydration, and piled into an ambulance bound for Westside General.

"But I don't want to go to the hospital. I'm fine," Hilde protested as the EMTs closed the doors and started the ambulance.

"Tough luck, Babe," Duo said. "You're going whether you want to or not. You could have died out there ya know?" We're not taking any chances."

"For once Maxwell is right. You need to be checked out by a doctor," Wufei added.

Hilde pouted and pleaded to no avail.

"But I don't want to go!"

"Stop acting like such a child, onna."

"ONNA?"

"Yes, ONNA. And a STUBBORN ONNA at that."

"Look who's talking!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh you know exactly what I mean."

Duo chuckled and leaned back in his seat, enjoying the fight.

"Ah…young love. It's such a beautiful thing."

"SHUT UP MAXWELL!"