Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ V Lucid Engagements ❯ Beginnings of Amends ( Chapter 5 )

Beginning of Amends

With Trowa in the compound for evaluation, I had an added impetus to go to the lounge in the evenings. It had been two days since he'd shown up, and he was annoyed because even though Amelia would be in the lounge, he couldn't have visitors yet. I'd only had Wufei as a guest that early because Wufei had the power to ruin anyone that annoyed him and the staff of Anjer-Baen fully comprehended the fact. When Wufei had gotten Quatre and I out of the Healing Center, the people who'd shown up had been in a rage, it was a group just shy of a lynch mob. He'd evidently made a point of the fact that if it hadn't been for me, the final bit of Libra would have fallen and smashed into the planet...something like that, anyway. It hadn't been a public broadcast, and I'd have to wait to get access to it until I was out.

"So we moved into her parent's place," Trowa continued his story. "Her parents are in the process of emptying the nest, but they didn't like the idea of Amelia coming here with only me. I gave them the money for a ticket...and then before we came in, I went to the bank and set her up an account so she didn't have to live off Wufei...I don't know what they were talking about when I was in there, though," he shook his head. "When I came out again Wufei was laughing hard and Quatre was starting to bounce off the walls. Wufei decided he needed to call Duo to warn him, and..." he shrugged slightly. "I'm sort of weirded out by how well she gets along with both of them."

"You guys never really liked Nat," I noted, looking down almost sadly.

"Actually, that's not it," Trowa corrected happily. "Natalie is a reserved sort of person, so you have to draw her out before you can get to know her, but we all like her. The problem with Nat was that she was your girl."

I closed my eyes at hearing the words, turning my head away.

"It was an interesting situation, don't you think?" he asked, lounging back some. "You intended no wrong and Quatre couldn't think straight...Wufei was always pissed about something and Duo tried to keep out of sight and mind as much as he could." He considered it a moment, though I was having a return of my nausea. "Really," he added quietly, looking across the room at the groups of people sitting around together or playing games. "I fucked us all up, didn't I?"

"What?" I asked blankly.

"If Wufei could have gotten me to cooperate with him, we could have ended a lot of the shit. We could have gotten you the help you needed, and gotten Quatre on his meds a long time ago...but Wufei just pissed me off, and that made it fun to thwart him..." he shook his head again. "I dunno, Heero...I guess I should apologize to you, I can see how it affects you now...that you're regretting it. Don't hate me, but I think half of it was my fault."

I met his eyes, startled by the admissions. I wasn't sure what to make of them, either, because I'd never once thought a single thing he was saying.

"Well," he shook his head, sitting up again. "Enough of that...what about you? What did I miss in three weeks?"

"I pissed off Acton on accident, which made him piss me off, so they put me with Lucien and make me talk to Acton once in a while."

Trowa shrugged a bit. "Since Lucien is your therapist, it'll be up to Acton to decide you are ready and it's not just the familiarity. Same goes with me. I'm gonna end up meeting with Dr. Bastor tomorrow. Acton says that they want to put me under to figure out a few things about my thought processes, but they figure I'll be out by Friday or Saturday after they establish something."

"That you're an apathetic bastard?" I offered happily.

He flinched in mock pain, giving me a matching mock pained look.

"Oh that's believable," I retorted.

He laughed happily at that and shrugged. "I tried to get them to tell me how you were doing and how long they thought it'd be for you, but Acton reminded me that it was patient confidentiality, and that they couldn't discuss it with me."

"I bet they tell Wufei," I noted, thinking about it. "I think he's my advocate, too, since he's the one that got us moved and has Quatre. I'll ask him if he comes later, but he was saying something about work and his girlfriend."

"What do you suppose Duo thinks about all this?"

I frowned at him and looked away. "I wouldn't presume to think anything about Duo...I'll just leave it at grateful respect."

Trowa was silent a moment, then made an amused noise. "You ever hear what happened when they were in the village? Before Nat came back to base and told us he was there?"

I focused on him slowly, not sure what to make of the question.

Trowa grinned. "She wouldn't hear anything against you and kept insisting he just needed to go back. She had no idea...about anything. If she'd have believed him or believed how bad it had gotten, she wouldn't have told you anything...but you know what? Wufei was saying that she waited a day before saying anything to you at all."

I wasn't sure how to react to that...she hadn't said the day she got back, but that had never really occurred to me.

"So when we went into Manaus looking for him...it was like, a day late and a dollar short. I guess he rowed them across the river...can you believe that shit? I don't get how he managed to make it to the city at all in those little row boats they have..."

"He must have really wanted away," I noted glumly, looking to my feet.

"I'd imagine," Trowa agreed easily. "You can't expect any more from him than that, really. If you'd have caught him at that point, you would have beat the shit out of him and you know it."

I made a disgusted sort of sound, covering my mouth with my hand as the nausea threatened to turn into vomit, leaning forward where I sat as the guilt tore through every vein of my body.

Trowa, for his part, didn't seem to have anything to say to watching me. He didn't offer to reassure me or try even to get closer to me...he didn't have a word to say about it. He just...waited...until I could lift my head again.

"That," he said quietly, "if anything, proves to me that you mean it. I'm going to tell Duo about that. I imagine Wufei is your advocate, so I'll get him to start pressing them on letting you out, because aside from admitting that you were in the wrong and that you know better now, I don't think there's much they really have to keep you here on."

I sat back slightly, blinking at him.

He'd changed...or had he? In Brazil, he'd gone from caring one moment to being a demon the next. The changes of his behavior could last days, hours, or moments...and I had a feeling it all had to do with his own mental state...if he was bored or not.

So was this extreme boredom? Did he actually mean what he was saying? Would his saying a word make a damn bit of difference?

"He rejected you," I noted before I thought it out entirely. "He..."

Trowa frowned and looked away. "I guess he did ..."

"I don't know why he's even giving me a second chance at all," I added glumly, resting my head on my knees. "I didn't do anything to deserve it. Quatre did deserve his second chance and Duo knew that...I can understand why they're getting along, but...I don't deserve it."

"What I don't get is why he was okay with Wufei from the start," Trowa noted. "Wufei didn't abuse him, but he sure didn't help him...and that first day we got to London they were coming into the lobby together...laughing like old friends. I don't get why Wufei is okay."

"Hm," I returned, then sighed and sat up again. "I'm going back to my room, I think."

"No," Trowa refused easily. "You're going to stay here and talk to me, because going to dwell on this shit won't help you at all. Did Wufei tell you that I stopped by his place after I did my hair like this?"

I blinked at him, not sure what I wanted to say at all to that...not even sure if I was going to listen to him.

"I spent the fist night with him, woke up early the next morning and took some of his stuff...his blue hoodie, the one he always wore," he grinned a bit. "Then his...he had his pistol, the good one that he kept in his room...I took that...then a bunch of his DVDs."

I grinned slightly at that, raising my eyebrows.

"I got him breakfast, though," he added happily. "Left him a note...it took me longer than I thought it would to get the contacts in...but yeah, I sent the DVDs back to him one at a time from each city I stopped in...all but his favorite."

His smile was so childishly happy and naughty that I couldn't help but grin back at him.

"You know how he always pretended to be looking at porn in Brazil?" he waited for me to nod...even if I hadn't been actively aware of that fact...made sense, though, now. "Well, I hit an adult shop in one of the cities I was in...picked up a couple movies. I sent one of them back to him in the Grandeur case...which bugged the shit out of him. Quatre was telling me about it...I think by the time I get back, he'll have his hoodie and firearm, though. Quatre asked Amelia to grab Grandeur for him, so she didn't realize I was keeping the stuff...it was kinda funny though...and...you know..." he blinked. "I had the movie in the case for the porno I sent Wufei...how the fuck did she know where it was?"

I had to laugh at that, shaking my head slightly at him since I had no real idea. I'd barely gotten three words from the female.

He grinned back at me, going thoughtful a moment. "Huh...I'll have to talk to her about that one."

"Sick ass," I retorted.

He laughed his happy wicked laugh, then shook his head at me. "Anyway...when this is all over with, we should just go...take a cruise or something."

I blinked at him.

"Don't you think?" he asked, looking off across the lounge. "I think we need to just get away from these problems and do something...then decide if we're going to stay in London or not."

"Or go back to Brazil?" I asked quietly, my heart sinking.

"Wufei's not going, and I doubt Quatre will want to," Trowa met my eyes again. "I don't think Amelia will want to go either...you and Nat can go back, but I thought you wanted to stay by us."

I stared at him in disbelief.

Not go back to my soldiers? To my base? How would I ever know if they were safe?

But then again, I had no desire of going back alone...and he was right. The others wouldn't want to go back, and his decisions were all going to be based on a girl he hadn't even known a month.

I looked away, trying to digest that.

"Mm," he added, looking to the clock. "I have to get up early...I think I'm going to bed. See you at breakfast, huh?"

I nodded in response, rising with him. I hadn't eaten breakfast before he'd shown up. I'd started to go get my food right before going to see Lucien at ten, and breakfast was at eight...but with him there, it'd be worth it to me...for me...whatever. I had a friend, a true friend. I'd go eat breakfast with him if he wanted me to, it just meant I should go to bed sooner...and now was as good a time as any.

"After breakfast," he added as the soldier watched us leaving the lounge, "they're gonna try some hypnosis on me. I think it's a bad idea, but if I argue too much they'll think it's because more than I just don't like being vulnerable in any form. Have they done hypnosis on you yet?"

"Not yet," I returned. "Lucien isn't sure if I can be hypnotized or not...he thinks I can be, but he wants to wait until he's sure I trust him."

"Really?"

I shrugged. "I still react hard when I'm startled and stuff...it's been my whole life, you know? So he wants to be sure I'm not going to defend myself or something...I haven't made it make sense yet. I brought it up though, so he's leaning more to it now. I think he's waiting for me to suggest the measures so it's my idea, you know?"

"Probably," he agreed as we neared the turn for my room. "See you at breakfast."

"Yeah," I agreed, watching him start away, then turned down my hall...to see another soldier.

Did they have one outside of Trowa's room?

I was half-tempted to sneak out of my room to find out. It wouldn't be hard. All it'd take would be a call on a walkie for him to be distracted, or looking down another hall...

The idea was naughty, and I figured I'd end up doing it before all was said and done...but I didn't want to mess up any chance Trowa had of getting out, so I'd just have to ask him about it.

I shook my head, then headed into my room itself.

I probably should push the hypnosis while Trowa was in the building. If something went weird, I'd trust him—it didn't matter that half the time in Brazil he'd been a fucker. He was a person I trusted...and that meant a lot more to my psyche than I probably realized.

- -

"What makes you think its okay for you to pick stuff up off the ground?" Duo demanded of Camden happily as he carried his son from the coffee shop. "You know I always get you a cookie, so why do you have to pick things up from the floor?"

Camden yammered something unintelligible back at him, that included the word "this".

Duo raised an eyebrow...and the child yammered more.

"Why do you always talk to him like that?" Natalie asked quietly, moving to catch up with him curiously as she took another experimental sip of her drink.

"He understands me, I just don't understand him," Duo returned, grinning slightly at her. "What do you think?" he indicated her drink.

"It's...hot," she returned, sipping again.

"Open it," Duo suggested. "Take the lid off and let it cool that way some...just be careful not to...spill," he blinked at her as she sloshed the hot liquid over the rim, then giggled and pulled the hand that had been mildly scalded away. "Like that, actually."

"Oh hush," she retorted, her cheeks coloring very slightly as she looked up at him briefly.

He laughed, turning to pass her a napkin. "I suggest you wipe the cup off first, then your hand...here," he added, taking the cup from her carefully. "Nas did that fifty times when I first started going here," he noted, looking back to the building. "She couldn't seem to coordinate her walking."

Natalie grinned at that, appreciating that he was reassuring her.

He sipped gingerly at the cup, then nodded approvingly at the taste. He'd been sure to request the low-sweetened kind like Nassaiya ordered...and this tasted just like hers, so he assumed Nat would like it about as well...if she liked it at all.

"Thanks," Natalie added quietly, looking away from him.

"Mr. Scott!"

Duo looked around to a man from the offices and grinned slightly. "Maxwell, please."

The man blinked, taken aback by the comment for a moment before accepting it and smiling again. "Are you collecting Amazon natives?"

"It's slow going because the time difference," Duo noted, grinning a bit.

The man laughed.

"This is Natalie," Duo added, nodding his head as he met her eyes. "She's from Nas' village."

"Oh, nice to meet you," he muttered, offering his hand happily...and shaking her hand firmly. "What are you doing? Is she living here?"

"Nas was missing her family," Duo shrugged. "We decided to bring her here as a governess for our boys."

"She knows English, then?" he asked, remembering that Nassaiya hadn't known any.

"She knows some, she was working at the base down there. She's going to take a class in English, though, and Vasu knows Portuguese, and Cam knows well enough," he bounced the boy, who grinned at him.

"That's good," the guy noted, smiling more at Natalie. "That's good...we should get together some day and have lunch!"

Duo nodded, and the man smiled again before waving a bit at all of them, then specifically to the child...before turning to walk away.

"What?" Natalie asked. "I couldn't follow that."

"He thinks you're hot and doesn't know you're taken," Duo explained in Portuguese.

She grinned and gave him a look.

He laughed happily, offering her cup back to her so she could put the lid back on it. "After we get Vasu, we can go into the city."

"All right," she said quietly.

"I was thinking about ordering pizza," he added, starting to walk again, "but that'd upset your stomach, and Nas doesn't always appreciate that. We'll have to think of something for supper."

"I can cook," she offered quietly, moving to look at him. "I can..."

He grinned at her, appreciating the offer. "I don't care which one of us does it. If you have something in mind, I'll let you take over...if not we can wander the grocery store. We'll have to wait this weekend to do anything big...and then we can have trips be weekend stuff and use it as rewards for your class."

She tilted her head at him, debating if that was offensive or not.

He grinned and shifted his son to his other arm. "It's actually what the teacher suggested for me and Nas both...I dropped my class, but she stuck with hers. We ended up doing all sorts of cool shit around town. We can sit down and make up your wish list."

"I'm almost certain you used a few wrong words there," she mused, considering what he said.

"I don't claim to be perfectly fluent in the language. I can get my meanings across, and that's as far as I take it."

She giggled.

"Actually, I was wrong," he added, looking back ruefully to her. "After we pick up Vasu, I'm going to Wufei's...we are, I mean. You don't mind, I trust?"

"I like Quatre," she retorted. "I'm never sure what to think of Wufei though. He used to bitch about me singing around the base and could be mean to me...but then he can be perfectly cordial and stuff..."

"Wufei was depressed in Brazil," Duo noted, looking to her curiously. "You realized that didn't you?"

She blinked at him.

"Yeah," he noted, moving toward the school. "He's coming out of it now...he should be happier in general."

"Ah," she took another drink of her cup, then considered it a moment and sipped again.

"Good?" he asked, grinning at her.

She nodded, taking another slightly longer drink.

Duo winked at her, then turned to lead the way again.

- -

"But what if I put too much in?" Amelia asked Quatre nervously. "I did that once at home..."

"Just be careful," Quatre reassured her. "As long as you don't put the whole thing in there it should be all right."

"So...if I just rub the end off..." Juki suggested in an amused tone.

"You're trying to kill the things before they even take root, aren't you?" he retorted dryly.

Amelia and Juki both sniggered.

Wufei rolled his eyes, then sighed. He'd been trying to avoid encouraging Quatre's gardening tendencies, but the women were all excited by the idea of growing their own herbs. The three of them were on the balcony planting some little green things that Quatre had gotten with Duo. As soon as they'd gotten home, he'd gone out and switched his rose bush into the bigger pot, fertilizing it and watering it...but he hadn't been nearly so worried about the little plants. He probably would have put off messing with them another day if Wufei wasn't complaining about the scent of the soil.

He moved onto the balcony, which instantly caught the blonde's attention. Amelia, though, was busily messing with a small caplet as Juki poked at the soil of one pot.

Quatre nodded a greeting at him, though he was elbows deep in a bag of potting soil. "Juki, can you get some water? Tepid?"

"You're tepid," she retorted happily, then turned and stopped to look at Wufei. She smiled brightly at him, then bounced up to give him a kiss before disappearing into the apartment.

"Do you suppose ‘tepid' is a compliment?" Quatre asked, his eyes sparkly as he pulled out a small pot.

"I don't know that I'm understanding," Amelia muttered. "You mean...like warm, right?"

Quatre grinned at the female and nodded. "Juki is being special."

Amelia grinned at that, then looked to Wufei with a smile. "You want to break this?" she offered, extending the caplet to him.

"Oh, here," Quatre muttered taking it from her and snapping it in half. He crumbled one part around the base of the plant Juki had been poking at, then passed the second piece back to the female and indicated a second pot.

"'scuse me, love," Juki muttered, sliding around him with a cup to offer Quatre.

"You can water plants, can't you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Tepid," she retorted...and happily moved to do as he asked.

Quatre grinned slightly at that, meeting eyes with Wufei a brief moment.

"Flirt," Wufei accused his girlfriend, smacking her bottom. "He's not paying you so you don't have to pay him any special mind."

Quatre laughed wickedly as Amelia turned to look between them in confusion.

"I'm a geisha," Juki explained quickly, her smile large. "That sounds so bad..." she added, smacking at Wufei.

"It's true," he retorted happily, kissing her ear.

"I love it when she makes you jealous," Quatre muttered happily, going back to changing the soil around. "It's so funny, because it's not like she'd actually cheat on you...and I'm your best friend."

"Best friends are the worst for it," Juki noted happily, passing the cup to Amelia so she could turn properly into Wufei. "Because there's that instant trust and familiarity...I hear about it all the time."

"Especially when she's hot," Quatre noted, nodding his head briefly at Juki before going back to his work.

"I hate you so bad," Wufei grumbled at the blond.

Quatre laughed happily, setting his pot down and picking up one of the small green things.

Juki grinned, kissing at Wufei's chin. "You want to play with plants? I was going to, but then I realized it'd get my nails dirty," she raised one hand to study her manicured nails.

"We have a nail brush," Quatre reminded the female. "And we have files."

"Is that okay?" Amelia asked, studying the area she'd just spread her caplet over. "It's not too much there is it?"

Quatre turned his head to glance, then seemed to think better of it and leaned forward to mock-inspect her job. He nodded after a moment, seeming satisfied. "That's fine...better than fine. Go ahead and water it."

Amelia smiled happily at that praise and did as he suggested, carefully wetting all the soil.

Quatre flashed Wufei a brief grin, tossing the small plastic-cover pot toward the door. "It'd be a nice day to garden," he noted, turning his head so he could see Wufei out of the corner of his eye. "If I had a garden."

"Fuck you," Wufei returned. "They didn't have any three rooms on the ground floor. I was looking."

"Don't they have inner gardens?" Amelia asked curiously, moving to the railing to look up and down the street they were over. "Don't they have public plots?"

"I don't know where they even are," Quatre noted, frowning slightly. He didn't know where they were, and he rarely went anywhere without Wufei. Wufei wouldn't want to sit around while he gardened, and Wufei was indifferent to gardening in general.

"There aren't any nearby," Wufei noted. "It'd be more than it was worth with the bus rides and things...I'm shocked Duo didn't get you to buy more..."

Quatre grinned at that. "He tried...wasn't that nice of me? I could have let him get all the stuff he was suggesting for me and played it off...and I didn't."

Wufei gave him an amused look.

"Really, though," Quatre added, dropping the teasing aire and shifting to face the man more. "I really want a garden."

Wufei sighed, looking down the levels of their building and shaking his head a bit. "I know...I'm sorry I didn't get to take you for your pot."

Quatre nodded, snapping a caplet in half and sprinkling it around the plant he'd just potted.

"I was thinking to get my stuff packed," Juki noted, focusing up on Wufei.

Both males stopped, startled.

"I think I can get my stuff out in a couple days...but I'm working all week. Once I get settled in, we can start the garden...it will have flowers, won't it?" she appealed the last to Quatre.

"That's easily arranged," he noted, grinning slightly at her.

She smiled back at him.

Wufei rolled his eyes at that, then focused on his girlfriend. "So you're actually going to move in?"

"You expected something else?" she asked, giving him a confused look.

"I was bugged about your timing," he retorted. "You'd never answer me before."

"Oh, my bad," she kissed him.

"There's Duo," Quatre noted, looking over the railing at the minivan. "We don't have any little crap laying around, do we?"

"I dunno," Wufei admitted, turning back to the apartment. "I'll go look."

"Close the bedroom doors, I think," the blond added, "just to be safe."

"Good idea," Wufei agreed...and moved to start closing doors. Camden was adorable, to be sure...but he had a tendency to get into things he shouldn't...frequently.