Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Waiting for You ❯ Part I: Solitude ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own the g-boys, just borrowing. Will return them properly in tact. . . or at least reasonably so. *smirks*

Summary: Wufei x Relena and others. Some yaoi pairings. If you don't like that, well, then poop on you. That's life honey.

Relena is heart-broken over losing Heero to Duo. Wufei takes pity on her and the two

become friends and…maybe something more. . .

---------------

Waiting for You

By: Banshee Puppet

Part I: Solitude

Autumn, and the leaves had just begun to turn color. They would brown soon and fall, turn eventually into dust as they did every year, but right now, they were the most beautiful thing Wufei could imagine. `You finally did something right Maxwell.' Wufei reflected on the choice of campus, which had been Duo's, and was not at all displeased. It was organized logically, decorated aesthetically, and it seemed the student body was mostly studious and didn't bother him much. It was peaceful here. He would have liked this quiet time to last forever, to sit under this cherry tree like this, relaxing, a cool breeze billowing against the black polyester blend pants of his uniform (a bit more constricting than his usual white cotton, but not characteristically uncomfortable)-but he knew that he was a soldier, that he and Nataku would have to return to the battlefield eventually. Still, while this time lasted, he was going to make the best of it. His classes over for the day, he leaned his head back against the tree and let his eyes drift closed; homework could wait until after dinner. Quatre would be in Trowa and Duo's room by then anyway(he practically lived there); and Duo practically lived in Heero's room, and Heero had hacked into the system and invented himself an imaginary roommate so he didn't have to share. Why they never arranged it so that those four were where they wanted to be was beyond him, but he'd decided that applying logic to the minds of his fellow pilots was rarely the brilliant idea it at first seemed. The advantage to having his fellow pilots fawning over one another was that it didn't leave them much time for hassling him. But none of that mattered now; he was content, at east. A small smile played across his lips as he rested his eyes.

Unfortunately, his peace would not last long.

"…he has a way of conveniently disappearing when he wants to, doesn't he?" Quatre was saying as he walked hand in hand with Trowa.

Heero nodded with his usual monosyllabic grunt, hands shoved into his pockets so that Duo didn't get any ideas. He wasn't very good with public displays of affection yet was all. Not to mention that the whole "Duo is a guy" thing had taken some getting used to as well. It was all pretty new and Duo was surprisingly understanding.

The four had just been discussing Wufei's increasingly regular disappearing acts when Trowa said, "disappearing huh? He's right over there. Looks like he's…taking a nap?" That didn't seem like Wufei at all, but they had to admit, none of them really knew Wufei all that well. There was a running joke that Sally Po was the resident expert, and she didn't even know the Chinese pilot's birthday.

The group stopped and watched him in the distance for a moment before Duo said, "Let's leave him be. He looks relaxed for once. Be a shame to spoil that."

"Duo…"

It seemed so out of character was all, but Heero had been discovering that Duo did indeed have a serious side and it was accompanied by a soft heart which he hoped he wouldn't accidentally crush. Duo was…important to him, even if finding the right words was a challenge.

"I knew fei'd like it here. That's why I picked it. He's seemed so stressed; I thought a quiet place would be the best one for him to unwind."

"Duo. You're really such a kind person," Quatre said with his usual gentle smile.

"Aw shucks Q-man, it's not that. The rest of us get along fine. We've all got each other, ya know. But Wu is all alone. Maybe the fact that we've all got each other makes him feel more alone, or maybe it's got something to do with that Meiran chick he mentions in passing sometimes----who knows? Whatever the case, if he continues the way he's been going he's gonna make a mistake, maybe get himself killed, and that's bad for all of us…"

Summoning up his courage as Duo spoke, Heero dropped a hand out of his pocket in case Duo wanted to…(gulp)…hold hands. `It'll be okay if he does,' Heero thought. `I don't think I'd mind. I mean, we're together now so…Duo, I'm trying,…please notice. It's there. Just, just…take it. Hold my hand.'

But before anything can come of Heero's secret hopes, he's frozen, every muscle in his body tensing. That voice. That blond hair, those too-blue eyes. That Girl! Why was SHE here? Why couldn't she go away?

"Heero!" Relena called happily, as if they'd just accidentally run into one another. As if this was perfectly normal. Normal for her, maybe.

At first he'd thought, `maybe, maybe I have feelings for her,' but he'd been wrong. He didn't have THAT kind of feelings. She just had a way of unhinging him so. He cared about her, sure, that was a given. Abut her safety. I mean, she was completely incapable of protecting herself. She did some of the STUPIDEST things. It drove him nuts. But like that? No. He didn't care about her like that. That's how he cared about Duo, beautiful, kind-hearted, patient Duo. But how was he supposed to tell HER that? Three simple words, `Relena, I'm gay' would do it, but how could he? She was so stubborn she probably wouldn't believe him and he'd have to explain, but it would inevitably come out all wrong and he'd end up saying something stupid about how he was enamored by Duo's ass or some other such ridiculous thing; it would inevitably turn out horribly, so how could he say it, any of it? For chrissake, he couldn't even tell Duo, who he loved more than he thought possible, that he wanted to hold his hand.

In the end, between his sudden migraine and the frog that appears to be stuck in his throat, all he can manage to sputter out is, "R-Relena. What are you doing here?"

"Well I came to see you, silly," she sanswer, unphased.

Hearing that voice call Heero's name, Wufei cringed. It was that Relena girl tha twas so hung up on the Japanese pilot. `Tell her, Heero,' Wufei thought. `Once and for all, just tell her. Break her heart if you have to, shatter it into a million tiny pieces. Better to kill her quickly than to make her suffer like this…"

He could hear Heero tell her, "that's a stupid reason," and he knew that was all Yuy was gonna say. He was right, the footsteps that he'd come ot know as Heero's were departing, and Duo's weren't far behind.

`Heero, you unjust bastard. It isn't right. Coward. You're a fucking coward, Yuy,' Wufei thought.

"Well, it was nice to see you again Relena, but Trowa and I have a class to get to, and we can't be late again," Quatre said as Trowa was already dragging him off. Not really Quatre's place to say, so Wufei couldn't really be mad, could he? So why was he? Enough was enough, he decided as he stood up and brushed himself off. Somebody had to say something.

`Those two are so perfect for each other…just like me and Heero,' Relena was thinking as they disappeared inside. The thought was abruptly cut off as a dark-haired figure stopped beside her. She turned her head and looked up, and shivered-it was that Wufei guy-he was such a bastard, and what he said next would only reinforce that belief in her. He didn't even look at her, just stared ahead with that constipated expression of his and said, `You're not his type. You should just give up," and started to walk away.

That sort of behavior made her so mad. She grabbed his wrist to stop him. "You can't just say something like that and leave! What is that supposed to mean?"

She sounded mad. Wufei didn't expect her to make this an issue.

She'd never seemed phased much by his manners before. Nobody did. It was just-how he was.

"It means what it means," he said. "He isn't interested in you. You should move on with you're life and stop followinghim around. They call you "Heero's stalker" you know, and it's NOT A term of endearment. Please let go of my arm now."

Relena's hand drpooed. `Bastard,' she thought. `Why is he saying such cruel things? Why does he hate me so much?'

"well what <I>is</I> Heero's type then, since you're such an expert!" she seethed.<br>

He'd begun to leave again, but this stopped him.

"Dorlain, how thick are you?" he said. "The kind with a penis, of course. You'd have to be blind not to notice. As far as Heero's concerned, that idiot can do no wrong."

Not once did Wufei look at her during that conversation, and now he was walking away and she wasn't stopping him. He was afraid if he looked at her, saw she was in pain and he was causing it, he'd chicken out. Didn't know why he cared; it was just something that had to be done. But that's not how Relena saw it. `Asshole. You can at least look at me if you're goin to say something like that.' "You…YOU'RE LYING!!!" she called after him, but he didn't stop, didn't turn around.

"Believe what you want," he whispered softly to himself. There was no helping her if she was going to be like that.

`Bastard,' Relena thought, so why this sudden urge to chase after him, to force him to look at her and say that, and why were her feet moving on their own? Maybe because he was a bastard, maybe it was that simple. He'd just made her so angry, she couldn't help it.

But Wufei Chang walked fast; he kept his own pace; he wasn't waiting for anyone. As she turned acorner to try to catch up with him, he'd managed to disappear somehow. Of course he knew she was chasing him; Relena had never been good at hiding these things and he was a professional. But had he meant for her to see this?

Heero and Duo were up this hallway, and they hadn't noticed her. On the surface it was all pretty innocent; they were just talking. But…Heero was talking, and smiling, and he looked so happy. She even thought she saw him chuckle. Wufei had been right, she couldn't compete with that. Duo made Heero happy.

Relena felt like she would die right there, but she refused to cry. She was happy for Heero; she really was. It's just that now she felt so alone, so empty. She found herself wandering the campus aimlessly for hours before accidentally stumbling across a nameplate that had fallen from a door which must have been slammed too hard. Bending down to pick it up, she mouthed the names. `Chang Wufei' and `Winner, Quatre Raberba'. It almost felt like fate as she laid her hand on the cold wooden door. She didn't really want to see Quatre right now, but that other one…what was it she wanted to say to him? She made up her mind to knock.

Wufei adjusted his glasses and sat back with a sigh as he stared at the paragraph it had taken him the past five hours to write. It wasn't even very good. He just couldn't concentrate. He kept remembering the way the anger at him melted right out of her expression. He'd watched her heart breaking and couldn't get it out of his mind. Wufei had hidden in the janitorial closet like a coward. He was a coward, a total coward, no better than Yuy in the end. It had to be done but, he shouldn't have watched, he shouldn't have…it hadn't really been any of his business. And on another note, why did he care so much? Why couldn't he stop thinking of her, wondering if she was okay?

He tried to shake the thought out of his mind. This paper was due tomorrow and he'd hardly even started it. `Better get back to work,' he thought, but just as his pen hit the page once again, there was a knock on the door. `Figures,' he thought as he got up.

Finding Relena on the other side of the door was a shock, but he tried to conceal it…sort of impossible once her palm connected with his cheek and sent his glasses flying into the nameplate on the door, and both items went tumbling to the ground. He crouched down to pick them up, saying nothing.

Until Wufei answered the door, Relena hadn't settled on an emotion, but apparently she was still angry because her hand connected with his cheek before she knew what happened, and afterwards she already felt guilty.

"You could have been a little more gentle," she said softly, now suddenly feeling like she was either going to cry, or be sick, or both.

"So could you," he answered blankly as he stood up with the nameplate and his glasses(which were now most definitely, in two separate pieces) in his hands.

"I…I'm sorry for calling you a liar," she said quickly, looking down at her hands; which were busily fiddling with the edge of her jacket. It was so much easier to look at him when he looked pissed off. But with concern in those ebony eyes, that HE could look like that…it was just too much for her somehow. She wanted to tell him to stop. `Stop looking at me like that!' her mind screamed.

"Quatre isn't here," he told her, the obvious assumption on his voice.

"Can I come in?" she asked. "I won't bother you, I just…" she hadn't finished her sentence when Wufei stepped aside to allow her entry, not fully understanding why; it would be just as easy to tell her to go away and close the door in her face, so why couldn't he do it?

"I won't bother you," she said again. "I just…don't want to be alone right now."

Still, Wufei said nothing, merely closed the door behind him after replacing the nameplate, checking to see that it was straight before closing the door…gently.<br>

His portion of the room was impeccable, she noticed, a few books liked up on the nightstand, the bed perfectly made, the desk bare save a few sheets of paper, a pen, and an open textbook. He'd been doing homework. It seemed funny to her suddenly, a gundam pilot doing homework. And as he stood by his desk, meticulously inspecting his broken glasses, with a small sigh realizing that it was hopeless to reattatch the offending arm and pulling out a role of scotch tape, Chang Wufei seemed suddenly(and for the very first time) human in Relena's eyes.

"I did a job on them, didn't I? I'll replace them," she offered.

"Don't bother. I've already fixed them," he told her blandly as he put the scotch tape away. She'd been trying to peer over his shoulder at the damages when he turned suddenly and found her very close-close enough to notice that in spite of this day, there wasn't a tear stain on that ivory skin of hers, that, unlike most girls, she wasn't hiding behind a mask of makeup.

She was dealing with this all quite well, much better than could be expected; he remembered crying like a baby when he lost Meiran. Granted, Heero wasn't dead, but a year was a long time to have hope for something so hopeless.

"Oh! They look awful!" she said, seeing the taped up glasses in his hand.<br>

"They'll still serve their purpose. How they look is unimportant," he answered. He could hardly breathe with her this close, not that he could fathom why. He turned his back to her again. "I have a paper to write, but if you want to stay, then stay," he said.

After Wufei had situated himself back at his desk and flipped a page of what Relena realized was a history textbook, she sat quietly on the edge of his bed. A few minutes of silence passed like some weight boring down on both of them before Wufei said, "if you're bored, you can watch television or turn on the radio. It won't distract me." He lied. This was just so awkward, for both of them.

"It's alright. I'm fine, but, thank you," Relena returned. She knew he lied.

Saying nothing, he returned to his paper. Maybe half-an-hour passed like this, as Relena sat silently, occasionally glimpsing Wufei, who was writing without interruption now. But when he leaned back for a moment with a small yawn, Relena asked, "Wufei?"

"Mmn?"

"Is it okay if I read one of your books for a little while?"

"As long as you return it to its proper place when you're finished with it," he answered before going back to his paper.

So Relena pulled a book out of the small pile, a warn hardcover with what she found to be quite a bit of commentary scrawled in the margins, the title being A Tale of Two Cities. In truth, she only skimmed the book after the first ten pages, seeking out the sections that Wufei had underlined or otherwise marked up, always curious about what a quiet guy like him had to say, and occasionally, unexpectedly, he said something funny and a small snicker would escape her lips.

Wufei assumed it was the book that she was enjoying so much, not knowing which she had chosen, but what she was really enjoying was him-that secret part of him that he shared with no one. He had forgotten about how he, what seemed like a lifetime ago now, marked books up with his thoughts like that. On the last page of the book was written the sentence, "Meiran would hate this book," and Relena couldn't help but wonder who this Meiran person was. She'd always seen Wufei alone, had mistakenly assumed that he had always been that way, but maybe there was another side to him after all, a reason for him to be the way he was.

He put down his pen and leaned back, took off his glasses and rubbed the slight headache from his eyes, closed his textbook, stood and stretched out the taut muscles in his back and arms before going into his closet to pull out a laptop and a small printer.

"Did YOU mark this book up like this?" Relena asked.

"Hm? Oh, yes. That was a long time ago," he answered as he hooked up the machines, "when I was at academy."

"You went to an Academy?" she asked, finding it somehow very difficult to imagine.

`Why did I just tell her that?' he wondered.

"For a little while. I wasn't <I> always</I> a gundam pilot, Relena."

"Oh! Of course not. I'm sorry, that was silly of me; it's just so easy to forget."

"…" he stopped fiddling for a moment before saying. "Yes. It is."

"Can I ask…who Meiran is?"

She'd hit a nerve, she could tell by the way his muscles suddenly tensed at the sound of that name. "I'm sorry," Relena said quickly. "forget I asked."

"…No, it's alright," he said. "It was a long time ago, like I said." Wufei began fiddling with the wires again, going over some that were already connected as half-an-excuse not to look at the girl behind him as he spoke. "Meiran was my wife. She died a few years ago. It was an arranged marriage but…I guess I loved her, a little…or maybe more than a little. Who can say really? We were…young."

"Wufei…" Relena began to say. As expected, he didn't look at her as he spoke, going out of his way to not do so(which drove her a little nuts), but she could tell his feelings from his voice, the way he faltered through the conversation. Of course he'd loved her. He'd always love her a little. Relena wondered if that's how it would be for her with Heero, that she'd always love him a little.

"I'm going to make some tea. Would you like some?" Wufei asked. "I only have one cup, but I'm sure Winner wouldn't mind you using one of his as long as I wash it when you're finished."

"Please…Thank you," Relena said.

Wufei went into the tiny kitchen area to make two cups of tea and Relena wasn't sure what to do. Meiran, why'd she have to bring THAT up? They were both wondering. With the thumb and forefinger of his right hand, Wufei wiped the moisture from his eyes and cursed himself for the weakness. "Nataku," he whispered to himself aloud. "I miss you so much, but I can't go on like this, in this sort of pain. I want my life back, Meiran, I want it, but I don't even remember what my life was like before you. I keep telling myself that I just have to start over, but I can't seem to get anything accomplished. I'm a lot stronger than I used to be, but…I'm still not as strong as you were," he choked back a small sob, and his shoulders wrenched a bit with the effort. "…stupid woman…they were just flowers…flowers."

The whistle on the tea kettle blew as Wufei wiped his eyes again. He shook his head slightly as he turned off the flame. "Self-pity doesn't suit you, Chang," he told himself. "Especially when that girl out there is being so strong. You have got to be at least as strong as she is, at least…" Even though e was whispering, his voice trailed off a bit there, and then he scolded himself. "But first, stop talking to yourself and make the damn tea."

Relena grabbed her chest and ran from the kitchen doorway before Wufei could see her there, spying on him. It hadn't been her intention; she had planned to go help, but when she got to the doorway and heard him talking to himself, saw him wiping his eyes, she decided against it; even she knew that he wouldn't want to be seen like this: crying was weak, and he wanted to be strong. `Stupid. Why'd you have to mention her?' she mentally scolded herself. He didn't want anyone to know he had a side like this. That was why, that was why he acted like such a bastard, he was overcompensating. It was all an act. Of course he didn't like being all alone, who would?

She sat down at his desk and began typing the header for his paper. `Wufei Chang.' Then remember the nameplate on the door, deleted this and typed `Chang Wufei' ENTER. `Twentieth Century Western Civilization.' She mused for a moment about what a long-winded course title that was before Wufei appeared through the doorway to her left.

"Nobody ever taught you how to type," he observed as she poked at the keys with two mauve-polished fingers and he put her tea cup on a napkin next to her on the desk.

"I type fine," she protested.

"You type slowly," he retorted, moving behind her to see the screen while asking, "what ARE you doing, anyway?"

"I'm typing your paper for you," she answered.

This surprised him, but sure enough, that's what she was doing as he watched the tedious formation of the word "September".

"It'll be quicker if I do it myself," he told her, but Relena pouted a bit before saying, "It's the least that I can do for you after all you've done for me today. You told me the truth when no one else would, you didn't yell at me when I broke your glasses, and you let me stay here for the past three hours, even though you didn't have to. So just let somebody do something for you this one time. You look exhausted; your eyes are all red. You work too hard, Wufei, so just relax for a little while."

"Relena," he began, not really sure of where to take the sentence once he'd started it, but luckily, she didn't give him the opportunity to say more. She waved one hand in his face and said, "Shoo. I'm not taking no for an answer."

He sighed and told her, "you're too stubborn," as he moved towards his bed.

"…there's no such ting as too stubborn," she returned flippantly. "Now read something or turn on the radio or whatever, all this talking is distracting me," she told him.

"I say about ten words a day and every time I turn around some woman is telling me to shut up. There's no justice in the world-none at all," Wufei complained as he leaned back against the wall. "You're as bad as Sally," he told her.

Relena hadn't realized that Wufei knew Sally, but that was beside the point entirely. She stalked over to him, put the broken glasses on his rather surprised face and shoved A Tale of Two Cities, which just happened to be the nearest book) into his chest. "I like you better quiet, you jerk," she said. Then, with a smile and a playful pat on the cheek, she added, "now relax. I'm going to take care of everything," before moving back over to the desk.

"This is what worries me," he returned before just barely blocking a…flying stack of printer paper?? `What the hell?' he thought before realizing that Relena had grabbed the nearest loose object and thrown it at him.

"…and don't tell me you didn't deserve it," she scolded.

He opened his book and said, "do you mind? I'm trying to read." He couldn't' help but snicker a bit, looking at the scattered papers and deciding, `I'll pick them up later.'…

"You write very eloquently," Relena said sometime later, half-expecting some snide remark, but Wufei had, somewhere along the line, fallen asleep while reading, so in silence, save for the soft rhythym of Wufei's breath or the occasional passer-by in the hall, Relena finished typing his paper, stapled it, put the laptop and printer away as quietly as she could manage, and picked up the paper scattered around the room.

When she was finished, she washed the teacups, carefully(so as not to wake him) removed the glasses from Wufei's face and put them, as well as the book in his hand, on the nightstand.

`Poor guy. You're out cold, aren't you?' Relena thought. `I must've really worn you out tonight. I'll make it up to you though. I promise.'

He looked so peaceful, sleeping, even in such an awkward position. That's when Relena decided that Wufei was her new mission, trying to help him stop hurting, and maybe that would help her own pain in the process; who knew? All she really knew was, after today, things would never be quite the same again. They could no longer consider themselves strangers to one another.

It was late, already 11:30, so Relena assumed Quatre would not be returning tonight and turned out the lights on her way out.

"Goodnight Wufei," she whispered before heading down the hall towards her own room, which she hadn't seen since early that morning when she'd moved in.

----------------

okay, chapter one down. I know, I know, I should be working on "Brothers after All" right now. I AM!!! Haha, just taking a break and this story is already written in it's entirety. . . probably post another chapter later. Five chapters long, if I remember correctly. I know it's a weird pairing, but that's kinda why I like it. . . I've never seen it done before. Ah, well, anyway, R&R is, as always, vastly appreciated. TTFN.