Hana Kimi Fan Fiction ❯ All Knotted Up ❯ Sano Breaks ( Chapter 15 )

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.



ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

 

CHAPTER 15

 

It was on their way to class.

 

He was so happy. He finally had received a letter from Mizuki. He tore it open while he and Nakatsu were walking down the hall. Nakatsu was happy for his friend. The last letter he had gotten from Ashiya had just been too weird.

 

Sano had a dreamy smile on his face as he flipped open the sheet of paper. Then he read the letter. And fell to the floor. He stared off into space. He kept expecting to wake up. He just kept staring off into space as Nakatsu yelled for him, asking what was wrong.

 

Nakatsu yelled for someone to get the doctor. Sano had crumpled the letter in his hand so he couldn't read it to see what the problem was.

 

Eventually, Umeda came, and the two of them guided Sano to the infirmary. Umeda gave him something to help him sleep, and took the crumpled letter out of his hand. Nakatsu wouldn't leave until Umeda forced him out. Umeda said it was just the strain of finally getting a letter from Mizuki, and told him to get the hell out of his office so that he could treat Sano.

 

He read Mizuki's letter, and shook his head. Then, he walked over to Sano, brushed the hair out of the sleeping man's face, and said, “Sano, don't be fooled. She still loves you. Have hope.”

 

He walked back to his desk, took the offending letter with him, and looked out the window. “Mizuki, you idiot. Did you really think this would HELP him?”

 

X X X END SCENE X X X

 

Sano woke up feeling like he'd had sleep, but that he was living a nightmare. It had really happened. It wasn't just a dream.

 

He bowed to Umeda and thanked him for taking care of him, then asked him for his letter from Mizuki.

 

“Sorry. I didn't see any letter from Mizuki? Maybe you dropped it in the hallway? Or maybe Nakatsu has it? He helped bring you here.”

 

With a voice that's completely devoid of any emotion, he responded, “I don't suppose it really matters. Doctor Umeda, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

 

“That depends on if it's personal for me or personal for you? Part of my job is to listen and advise you about matters that are troubling you in your 3rd year. But I'm not going into my personal life with students.”

 

“It's personal for me. So if it's your job, I'll ask, and you can answer: If you're in love with someone, but they're in love with someone else, you just have to let it go, right? You have to let your dream die so they can be happy and there's nothing else you can do?”

 

“I'm not sure I agree with that. Sano, you haven't been sleeping lately, have you?”

 

He looks at the doctor suspiciously. “How can you tell?”

 

“The super-size luggage under your eyes. What's troubling you?”

 

“It doesn't matter anymore. When your worst nightmare comes true, it ceases to be a nightmare.”

 

It really disturbed him how dead Sano's voice sounded.

 

“You've been having nightmares? What about?”

 

“Losing everything precious to me. But you can't lose what you never had. Can you?” He didn't sound bitter. Just dead.

 

“Sano, it's not healthy to not sleep. I want to keep you here overnight. Okay?”

 

“Whatever.”

 

He gave the boy a shot that would knock him out again. Tucked him in. Then sat down at his desk. That's when he noticed in his in-box a letter from Mizuki - one addressed to him.

 

Sensei,

I know this is a lot to ask of you, but please, please take care of Sano for me.

 

I had to hurt him so that he'd start to live his life without me. He had been writing about coming to visit me. I've started to show now. I'm almost 4 months along. If he came now, then he'd know and all I've worked for would be gone. So I told him that Gilbert had asked me to marry him. Which is true.

 

Gilbert was my first love. Sano met him when he was visiting here. But nowhere in my letter did it say that I said yes. I'm sure he thought that was implied. But there will never be anyone for me but Sano.

 

It's really hard not having Sano with me. But it's far enough now, that even if I were to change my mind and tell him, I don't think he'd ever forgive me.

 

But that was the plan after all, wasn't it? I just want him to be happy. If he can be happy, that will be enough for me. I'll raise his child, keeping a part of Sano with me always. And he'll jump higher than he's ever jumped before. He'll really fly.

 

Did you know that he's getting along with his dad now? I'm so happy about that. And I've heard his brother has gone back to trying to match him all the time. They're becoming a real family. I may miss him horribly, but if he lost his dad because I was so dumb that I got myself pregnant, he'd end up hating me.

 

So please keep your promise and don't tell him. If anyone tells him, I'll just hate that person forever.

 

And don't tell him I miss him.

 

Just take care of him for me. Please!

Mizuki

 

He smiled after reading it. Finally. He could figure out a way to help that idiot girl. Without breaking his implied promise to her.

 

X X X END SCENE X X X

 

Nakatsu came to check up on Sano right after class - exactly as Umeda predicted.

 

“I know you want to see him, but he's asleep right now. Why don't you wait here, and I'll check on him.” He left to go into the other room, leaving Mizuki's letter to him lying on the desk about 3 feet from where Nakatsu was standing.

 

Once in the other room, he glanced through the window from where he couldn't be seen. And waited. It didn't take long for the boredom to set in. Then Nakatsu started pacing.

 

Eventually, Umeda's patience was rewarded, as the letter in Mizuki's handwriting, on sunflower stationery caught Nakatsu's eye and he picked it up. Umeda smiled as the shock registered on Nakatsu's face. He watched as the boy struggled through all his emotions: Envy that Sano really had won Ashiya, empathy for his friends that were both in pain, amazement at the thought that Mizuki was pregnant. He watched the boy mentally struggle with what to do. And once he saw that the yellow-haired boy had a plan in place, he walked into the sitting room while Nakatsu still had the letter in his hand.

 

“Do you often read others' letters?”

 

“Uh - no. Uh - sorry, I…”

 

“Whatever. Just do me a favor. Sano's been having nightmares about losing Mizuki. So when he asks you about the letter he received from her, please act like you've never seen a letter to him from her. When he asks what happened, he passed out from lack of sleep and you and I carried him here. There never was a letter from Mizuki. It was all just a nightmare Sano had.

 

“Doable?”

 

Nakatsu grinned at him and gave him the thumbs up.

 

“I'm keeping Sano here overnight.

 

“Oh, one more thing. You can't tell him directly without pissing her off. But if he were to be convinced to go visit her, that's another matter entirely. Especially if someone who has absolutely no idea what's going on were the one to convince him. Now get out of my office.”

 

X X X END SCENE X X X

 

When Sano woke up, Umeda told him he looked like he was feeling better, and joked with him that the next time he had difficulty sleeping he should come to the doctor before he passed out from exhaustion.

 

“Where's my letter from Mizuki?”

 

Umeda looked at him like he was crazy and asked, “What letter from Mizuki?”

 

“The one I got today.”

 

“Sano, when Nakatsu came to see you earlier, he said that you were complaining about never getting any mail from her when you passed out.”

 

“I never-? It was a dream?”

 

“I'm guessing yeah.”

 

Sano smiled a little and sat down.

 

“Sano, I'm supposed to act as counselor to you 3rd years. So why don't you tell me what's been on your mind?”

 

“It's dumb.”

 

“Dumb enough to keep you from sleeping? Dumb enough to put you here? Talk, moron!”

 

“I've been… worried about losing Mizuki. She's been writing anyone and everyone except for me, and I don't know why.”

 

“Well, what do you think it is?”

 

“I don't know.”

 

“…What do you FEAR it is?”

 

“… … …I'm afraid that maybe she doesn't… that maybe… she's not here, and it feels like I've lost her. What if I never see her again? What if someone hurts her and I'm not there to protect her? What if she doesn't love me anymore?” Once he starts, it all comes out in a torrent. And even though he's finally had some sleep, he actually starts to cry.

 

The doctor waited until Sano was a bit more calm.

 

“Sano, if you had to pick what you wanted most out of life, what would it be? Would it be your relationship with your family? Winning at the high jump? What would it be?”

 

“Being by Mizuki's side.”

 

“Even if it meant you'd never see your family again? Even if it meant you'd never jump again?”

 

Sano looked up at him angrily, “Of course! I wouldn't even be jumping if not for her. And I wouldn't even be talking with my dad.”

 

“So why aren't you with her now?”

 

“…”

 

“Sano, as a counselor, I'm supposed to ask you about your future. In ten years, where do you see yourself? Picture yourself where you want to be in ten years and tell me.”

 

“Married to Mizuki. She's working to train dogs so that people won't give them up as their pets. I've finished college, and I'm working as an athletics coach - specializing in track and field… maybe helping to coach Shin…”

 

“What about kids? Do you and Mizuki have any kids?”

 

“Kids?” His eyes closed as he imagined Mizuki helping to teach a young boy how to tie his shoe, and himself holding their youngest baby. He smiled dreamily. “That'd be great!”

 

“Sano. I'm only going to tell you this once. Sometimes you have choose what is most important to you and GO and get it. And I don't think I can tell you anything more.

 

“Now. I think you're ready to go back to your classes. Feel free to come again when you need to. But my answers to you will most likely be the same.”

 

Sano was amazed that even though he felt better than he had in weeks, the terrifying fear was still hanging right there, like the feeling someone is standing behind you, just outside of your peripheral vision and ready to attack.

 

X X X END CHAPTER X X X