InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ 101 ways to annoy Naraku ❯ The list ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

By: Kitsy

Hi. I do not own Inuyasha or the original form of the list 101 ways to annoy Voldemort.

Pwease Review else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Kagome walked in her room tiredly and flopped down at her computer. She had just got home from school and had 1 hr before she had to go down the well. She checked out her mediaminer.net and found a new fic.

101 ways to annoy Voldemort REMIXED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOW it's 101 ways to annoy NARAKU!!

Ooooo...This shall be interesting.

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101 ways to annoy Voldemort REMIXED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW it's 101 ways to annoy NARAKU!!

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool sword?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during his fights with Inuyasha and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him 'The-man-who-didn't-get-the-dead-chick'

14. Ask why the Spider tattoo on his back couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Nara's got a poopie!'

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

22. Taunt him about his human sides name. 'Onigumo? Whats that, a species of snails?'

23. Keep a 'good-behavior chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

24. Place fake dog ears like Inuyasha's on him while he sleeps.

25. Place Barbie doll clothes on all of his wooden puppets and claim you were making them 'pretty'.

26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.

28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'

29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Inuyasha. Re-enact all of Inuyasha's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drum roll.

32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.

33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

35. Mock his choice of Baboon cloak as a 'disguise'.

36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'

37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming session place a candle over his head and claim you 'thought you were helping'.

39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Buy him a stress ball.

41. Hint that he is only a character in a anime and will never truly triumph.

42. Call him Nara-chan and bat your eyelashes.

43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Raku-sama.

44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

45. Say he 'looked better under the baboon cloak'

46. Eat his hoard of poison bugs. Offer him some.

47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.

49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

50. Command Kanna and Kagura into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'

51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'.

52. Paint over his baboon cloak with bright colours and glitter. Then state white was to plain.

53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.

54. Tell him what Kagura's really up to.

55. Politely exclaim now and again that you 'don't know how he can be so afraid of super sexy Sesshomaru'

56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'

57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'

61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

62. Tell him you know this great therapist in Kyoto....

63. Throw pottery parties. Insist he sit through them.

64. Tell him you've met plenty of people more evil than he.

65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

67. Steal, snap, burn and bury his puppets.

68. Tell him Onigumo did it.

69. Give Kikyo full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.

72. Ask him where he buys his eyeliners

73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'

74. Make vague allusions to Miroku being his cousin.

75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Buddha would have approved of that?'

76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little inu hanyou.'

77. Tell him Jaken has a crush on him.

78. Lecture him at great length on why he shouldn't use manipulative means.

79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'

80. Every time he eats breakfast say 'I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs'. Put emphasis on 'cuckoo'.

81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric acquaintance.

82. Cuddle him at random moments.

83. Sign him up for Little-League.

84. Ask him why he's afraid of a perverted monk with a lecherous hand and can't fight babies.

85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'

87. Ask him where he gets his hair done. Claims it so silky.

88. Wonder aloud why the name Naraku doesn't commands as much respect as, say, Inuyasha-sama or Sesshomaru-sama.

89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

91. Write sonnets for him.

92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

93. Offer him ice cream cake.

94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'

95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildly depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.

96. Mock his girly looks.

97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Raku?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

98. Get him drunk.

99. Drag out a banjo at evil opportunity and start playing 'Kumbayah'

100. Let him catch you trying on his Baboon cloak and start giggling how you look so sexy.

101. Complete Shikon no tama in his face and then wish on it therefore purifying it.

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Kagome cackled evilly as Inuyasha walked in. "Ummm..Kagome are you okay?"

"Of course I am Inu-chan, just read this sheet of paper and will have some fun at Naraku's castle.