InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ An Arrow Not Burning ❯ Hanyo's Dreams ( Chapter 8 )

Inuyasha closed his hand on the jewel. "No!" cried Kaede. "Please, don't!" Blinding light exploded about him. She cried out, hiding her eyes, her cry echoed by the others. When she could see again, a barrier was flickering around the hanyo. Wrenching free, Kaede ran back to the porch, stopping just short of the eldritch sphere, which continued below the surface of the porch. Its surface was crawling with white and red lightning: peering through the translucent barrier, she could see the same energies sparking along his body, making his hair dance as if in a fierce wind. He was lying prone, the horrific spike still jutting out of his back, his right arm hidden under his body. She could see the blood still seeping out from the wound, but she could not see if he was still breathing.

With a sob, Kaede went to her knees, unable to look any more. Pressing her hands together, she did the only thing she could. Pray. Pray that Inuyasha did not turn youkai. Pray that the jewel did not turn the hanyo evil....

He opened his eyes, and looked at -- himself.

He stared at the human Inuyasha. Black-haired, clawless, fangless: only the vertical irises of his dark gray eyes hinted at anything extraordinary. He stared at the youkai Inuyasha, a form looking disconcertingly like a shorter Sesshomaru, but with a broader face, his eyes, a single lavender stripe rather than two magenta stripes decorating each cheek, and no forehead markings.

"What the--where am I? What the hell happened to me?"

His words came out of two mouths, in two voices, one sounding almost frightened, the other angry. He blinked, and the two images remained. The image of the youkai was not quite sharp, as if the eyes viewing it were not as keen as his. The image of the human was much clearer, but faintly surrounded by a faint aura of pale blue.

"Hanyo..."

The voice seemed to come from all around him. He felt his youkai head move slightly, trying to locate the source, while the eyes of the human shifted from side to side. He turned around, and discovered that he could see neither of his selves. He felt two legs take a step back, and two bodies bump.

"Who are you?" he demanded. The youkai voice held a growling snarl; he felt the human lips drawn back in a human's best effort of the same, while at the same time fear gusted through the human self. "Show yourself!"

Laughter rose around him, a single voice, yet, somehow, with the timber of many voices. The red mist around him was darkening. He momentarily glimpsed a head with his human eyes; a strange amalgam of a dragon's upper skull and a worm-demon's lower, semi-circular, toothed maw. His youkai eyes saw flashes of sprawling body with multiple, mismatched limbs. He cracked his knuckles, splaying his clawed fingers to their fullest extent. He curled his human hands into fists.

"What do you want, little hanyo?" asked the voice, while the laughter continued. "Such a mixed up mind, to match a mixed up body. Do you want to be youkai, or human?"

A harsh yearning came from the youkai side, and pained regret from the human side of him. "I wasn't asking for either," Inuyasha snapped. "Is this about the Shikon no Tama? Where am I? What did you do to me, and what do you want?"

The laughter was grating. His youkai form fractionally lowered his eyebrows, while the human grimaced. "Don't realize it yet, hanyo? You're in the jewel, until we decide to let you go." A tentacle whipped out of the darkening mist and wrapped around the two forms, wringing a gasp out of one and a grunt out of the other. "You didn't really think a dirty, mis-bred hanyo could purify us!"

"I wasn't trying to purify you, I was just wishing Kikyo and the others to live!"

Laughter echoed around him. "Oh, you can still have your wish, hanyo. All you have to do is give us what we want." A second tentacle lashed out, wrapping around the human while the other moved to encircle the youkai. Inuyasha gasped in pain as his two selves were violently pulled apart. "We'll even add to the wish -- we'll save your life and turn you into the form you prefer. Just give us the half-soul you don't want."

"What! Like hell!" Inuyasha writhed in the paired grasps, managing to pull out one youkai arm. "The only thing I'm giving you is this--Sankon Tessou!" White slashes of light flew from his claws towards the tentacle holding his other self, where it joined the monster's body.

A roar of rage answered his attack, but before he could even wonder why the eldritch claws were white instead of gold, Inuyasha screamed as agony tore him. He was blind and falling, this time in darkness, until he landed on four paws. He staggered, recovered, and then ducked his head to stare at his white, furry forefeet. Before he could formulate a question in his mind, a thick odor snapped his head up, flattening his ears, bringing a growl to his throat. A one-eyed ogre stood before him, shrinking away. Inuyasha blinked, recognizing the youkai from the one that had attacked him the year before, for no reason except reason that he was hanyo. He snarled, baring his teeth, and the ogre wailed and went to his knees. Clasping his hands over his head, he abased himself.

"Please, taiyoukai, don't kill me!" the ogre babbled. "I'll do anything you want! "

Youkai? Taiyoukai? Inuyasha lowered his head and sniffed the shivering youkai. It was the same scent as before, once the odors of the earlier loathing and the current terror were allowed for. Bewildered, wondering how a youkai he had slashed into very little pieces a year before had come back to life, Inuyasha sniffed again. He also wondered why it seemed so small.

"Let him go, little brother. Killing such a piece of worthless trash isn't worth your time."

Inuyasha looked up, and saw Sesshomaru flying down towards him, a slight smile on his face that matched the faint amusement he had heard in his brother's voice. A smile? His brother?

Sesshomaru came to a halt just in front of his nose, abruptly making Inuyasha realize just how large his dog form was. Still faintly smiling, the older youkai gave a single shake of his head. "Turn into your other form, Inuyasha-kun: we need to talk."

Huh? Inuyasha would have asked Sesshomaru something rude, except that his body was already changing. He stifled a yelp as his body shrank and changed. Staggering a little on his two feet, he stared down at his hands. The fire-rat sleeves hadn't changed, but his hands had -- longer, more slender, and with claws half-again their normal length. Dark lavender slashes decorated both wrists.

"Now that you got rid of those ridiculous dog ears, I might even be persuaded to introduce you to the rest of the inu clan." Inuyasha staggered as Sesshomaru clapped him on the back. "Let's go, little brother. There's a bunch of humans moving in across the border of our land. I think it's time we taught that scum a lesson."

Our land? His older half-brother treating him as a real sibling, instead of an abomination to be hunted down and destroyed? What would he have given, over the years, to hear that tone of affection from his brother: to know that Sesshomaru accepted him as family, as equal? His heart gave a spasm of painful yearning -- if only this were not a dream!

"Sesshomaru..."

The elder youkai turned and raised an eyebrow. "Otouto?"

"Why--are you treating me like this? I mean, you haven't--"

"What are you babbling about? How should I treat my little brother?"

"I, uh ... well ..." Inuyasha trailed off in confusion. Sesshomaru shook his head at him.

"Don't let yourself think too much, Inuyasha-kun." He gave the younger inu-youkai another swat on the back, sending him stumbling down the path. "Let's go destroy that band of stupid humans. When I think what their kind did to you as a little boy..." A faint growl rumbled out of the youkai's throat.

Inuyasha gasped a little as memories assaulted him. Memories of stinking, sweltering villages filled with over-worked, hungry, fearful, ill, and smelly humans. Human faces, contorted with hate and fear, hands grasping spears, bows, or even hoes and pitchforks, all of them raised against a small, terrified boy. He remembered the curses and blows that fell on the small body attempting to escape. They had wanted to hurt him, kill him. He remembered his pain, his fear, his helpless anger. A growl rumbled through his own throat as his youkai blood heated. Red desire rose -- he wanted to kill, and laugh at the killing. It would be good. So good, to feel the blood, to smell the blood, of those pathetic, weak-limbed, fearful little mortals--

"That's my little brother," chuckled Sesshomaru, patting him on the shoulder. "Shall we have a contest, to see who kills the most humans?"

Kill? Humans? Inuyasha came to a halt, as another memory came to him. A voice, a loved voice--a dying voice--asking him for a single promise. Inuyasha, please promise me. Never kill humans except to protect yourself. I know it will be hard, because many people will look at you and fear you or hate you, but I want you to try.

Inuyasha turned and stared at his brother, one part of his mind noticing that it was dark, and that he could only smell his brother. "I can't. Sesshomaru, I--I made a promise. To mother."

Sesshomaru stared at him a moment. "You'd keep a promise to a mere mortal? Don't be stupid, little brother."

"I'm not stupid! Look, why are the humans moving in? Have you talked to them, warned them off? Can't we just chase them off, without killing them?"

Sesshomaru faced him, putting both hands on his shoulders. His eyes flickered red, and the marks on his cheeks had thickened slightly. "Don't be a fool, Inuyasha. Promises to ningen mean nothing. You turned against your humanity when you chose to become youkai. Forget your promise. Forget the whore that seduced your father."

Inuyasha jerked backwards, repulsed. More, there was something wrong about Sesshomaru's words. Sesshomaru had never, in his recollection, referred to Izayoi in such fashion. His references to the relationship had always tended to cast the blame on their mutual father. And--'your' father?

He backed away. "This is a dream," he said, realizing what the lack of scents and sounds meant. "You're not my brother--you're an illusion. You're..." Anger stirred as he stared at the other figure, "you're what I wanted Sesshomaru to be, not what he is." He stared at the dream version of his brother; a dream he thought he'd forgotten. "This is a dream," he repeated, eyes burning with a film of angry, hurt tears. "I am not youkai! I am hanyo! And if becoming youkai means turning against my mother's blood, then I refuse! I'll live and die what I am! Hanyo!"

The image of Sesshomaru vanished, replaced by the dragon-worm demon. The demon snarled at him. "Hanyo fool! If death is what you want, then death we'll give you!" The huge head--longer than Inuyasha was tall--lunged forward. Inuyasha leapt to avoid it, only to find the massive jaws moving faster than he had imagined. He slashed out with his claws, but nothing happened. The jaws slammed shut, driving the jagged teeth through his torso. Inuyasha gasped, then gratefully fell into the white wind that descended on him...

He saw the sword coming. His own sword rose in swift, unerring response. Steel clashed against steel, scraping, and then the one sword was moving down, out of position to attack or defend. Continuing the move, Inuyasha's sword swept in, then stopped a bare finger-width from the arm-master's neck. Staring at his opponent, Inuyasha held the pose for a moment, then sheathed his blade and bowed.

Inuyasha found himself mobbed by the other warriors as soon as the arms-master left, demanding to know how he had managed that maneuver. "No one's been able counter that move of his in two years," said one of the older men, frank admiration in his eyes. "How did you do it?"

Twitching his shoulders, both pleased and embarrassed, Inuyasha pulled off the helmet. "I -- just practice a lot." Running his fingers through his sweat-matted bangs, he then reached for the cord binding his black hair and pulled it free. The other men laughed at his feeble sally.

"You're entirely too modest for a warrior," said one of other older men. "You'll never catch the daimyo's ear if you don't boast about yourself."

"Who needs to boast--you think the daimyo isn't watching every young samurai good enough to go against the arms-master with bare steel?"

"Ha! Who needs the daimyo's ear, when he's caught the daughter's eye? Didn't you notice how she was watching the other night?"

Inuyasha went beet red. He'd never even spoken to the young woman, but he'd been aware of her since his acceptance into the castle for training. She had sent an elderly retainer to make sure he was comfortable, and to give a few discreet suggestions on adapting to life as a would-be warrior. Those suggestions had proven invaluable, and he had been frustrated ever since in trying to figure out how to return the favor. It had gotten worse since he had glimpsed her face and been smitten by her beauty. He had tried to keep his reaction a secret, but the close quarters of the samurai made that impossible.

The abrupt blare of a horn silenced the men for a few seconds, until they identified that particular sequence. "It's the alarm!" "Youkai! Where?" "Who cares, fool! Arm up, arm up!"

Inuyasha joined the rush for their quarters, fingers flying at the ties of his battered practice armor even as he ran. The replacement armor was new and never tested, and he found his fingers fumbling once or twice as his stomach clenched in apprehension. After three years of training, he knew that he was faster and more agile than any of the others, and had keener vision and hearing. He was confident of his ability to defend himself and others against any human foe. But youkai? Any youkai attacking humans was almost by definition faster and stronger. It was said the strongest youkai could wipe out entire armies with a single wave of a hand.

"Come on, boy--you don't want to gain the daimyo's eye by being the last on your horse!"

Inuyasha slid his sword through his sash, and ran for the exit. Weaving and bobbing his way through the barely controlled chaos of the court yard, Inuyasha was surprised to find the surly, slab-sided equine assigned to him already bridled and saddled, standing quietly under the hand of a cloaked figure. "What--who are you?" he asked, reaching for the reins. "You shouldn't--"

"I came for you."

Inuyasha froze. The figure turned, and he swallowed hard. "Hime-sama? What are you doing here?"

She drew back the material shrouding her head. "I came for you," she repeated, in a soft voice barely above a whisper. "I chose you the day you walked through the gate. Father will not say me nay when I choose, and I will choose you." She stepped up to the astonished youth, clasped her hands to either side of his face, and pulled it down to plant a solid kiss on his lips. He made a small sound of surprise, then found himself returning the kiss. Hot desire burned through him, and he deepened the kiss, embracing her, in that moment wanting nothing other than to keep her in her arms, to have her and take her and be taken by her.

She broke the embrace, chuckling, placing one slender hand over his mouth. "I knew your passion could match mine, my dear."

Inuyasha pulled away, blushing furiously as he struggled to regain control over himself. "Hime-sama, f-forgive me, I-I should not have--"

"Of course you should have," she replied with a low laugh. "You did as I desired."

"B-but it's not right--"

She silenced him with a finger over his lips. "No more talk, my love. We will continue this when you return. For now, I have a gift." She pulled a slim dagger, in a pale, undecorated sheath out of her voluminous sleeve. "This dagger has power over youkai. It will penetrate any flesh, it will find the heart of whatever youkai you face."

He raised his hands. "I can't," he protested. "It's too valuable."

She dodged his protesting hands and slid the dagger into his sash just above his sword. "It is yours." Darting around him, she pushed him towards his horse. "Now go. Don't keep father waiting."

Utterly bewildered by the woman's behavior, Inuyasha obediently turned to his horse. Leading the gelding out of the stall, he mounted, keeping a firm grip on the reins. Unsurprised to be the last, Inuyasha cringed internally when the daimyo looked at him. But the cold gaze did not react or linger, and the steel-edged voice continued to rasp out orders. Inuyasha tried to concentrate on the man's words, and forget the embarrassing scene with the daimyo's daughter.

But it was hard to forget, as he rode his horse down the road as part of the group that would track down and destroy the giant bear youkai that had attacked one of the domain's villages. The knife against his side felt as if it were burning through his armor, and deep down, he was afraid. If anyone had noticed them in the stall, and reported it, he would be fortunate if the worse that happened was to be stripped and driven out of the castle. He would lose the camaraderie he had enjoyed the last few years. The bastard son of a noblewoman, he had grown up alone and lonely. He owed the daimyo everything, for taking the risk of accepting a neighbor's illegitimate grandson into training. All he had -- and everything he had -- was the daimyo's for the asking. Arms, honor, life. And none of it, he wanted to lose.

They pulled up at the top of the hill above the village, to breathe the horses, and look over the situation before they progressed further. They could see bodies strewn between the houses that lined the road, and more out near one of the fields. One house was burning; others had been demolished and heavily damaged. Wails and sobs were rising from the few survivors as they moved among the dead.

The daimyo cursed, then spoke quietly to his second in command. Feeling an odd unease, Inuyasha stood in his stirrups for a better look at the valley. He found his gaze drawn in the direction opposite of the fields. The woods came down to the river there, but he remembered a meadow not far from the houses, that was not quite visible from the hilltop because of the summer foliage. Narrowing his eyes, Inuyasha concentrated. He was certain he heard growling and snarling coming from that area. But was it what he thought it was? He heard a higher-pitched howl of pain, and a flash of dusty white. "My lord!" he yelled. "I think the youkai may be in the south meadow -- I can hear fighting!"

"Are you sure?" The cold eyes met his. Inuyasha tried not to think of the knife at his waist.

"Yes, my lord."

The lord considered a moment, then made a decision with a sharp nod of his head. "Jiro," he ordered his second, "take a third of the men with the fastest horses, find any survivors, and organize them to be ready to flee to the castle. Inuyasha, you're with me--the rest of you follow!"

Inuyasha gulped and kneed his horse over to join the lord, and then urged the horse into a run as the other took off down the hill. Side by side, they drew ahead of the others, adding another knot to the young man's stomach. "We'll slow down before we hit the trees," said the daimyo with a breathy laugh, as if reading Inuyasha's mind. "Don't hesitate to use that little trinket my daughter gave you," he continued. "Once we take care of this youkai, then we'll find time to talk, son."

It took all of Inuyasha's will not to pull up his horse. The daimyo knew? And apparently approved? One part of him felt a glow of anticipation, but the rest of him just felt scared. It didn't make sense, any of it. Not the girl's actions, or her father's reaction.

They turned the horses between two of the worst damaged houses, then pulled to a halt at the trees. "Not enough room in the meadow to use the horses," muttered the daimyo, leaping off his horse. He glanced over his shoulder. "Hurry up, you men!" The yowls and roars were audible to everyone now. "From the sounds of it, we'll have two heads to show off tonight!"

They entered the meadow and Inuyasha drew a sharp breath. A cat youkai, huge and long-toothed, with two tails and black markings, was facing off against a massive, three-eyed bear youkai, who was at least twice her height at the shoulder, and more massive in proportion. Both youkai were wounded, but the feline was clearly the worse off. Inuyasha wondered why she hadn't fled, then saw the figures behind her. "My lord, look!" he shouted. "The neko--she's protecting the children!"

"What!" The daimyo looked, then swore. "Kotaro, two flights of arrows at the bear, then get your bowmen between the demons and the villagers! The rest of you, split into two groups -- we'll get on either side of the bear, and take him down first!"

The bear whipped his head around as the daimyo started shouting orders. He snarled, whirled, and charged straight towards the men. A flight of arrows was loosed, but too many hastily and poorly aimed. There was no second flight as the bear attacked. Inuyasha's shoulder rammed the daimyo out of the way of a descending paw. Inuyasha's blade, raised above his head in defense, snapped a foot from the hilt as it took the blow, but not before slicing deeply into the youkai's paw. The bear howled and reared back, giving Inuyasha the opportunity to dash out of range. Dancing backwards, he saw the bear's head tracking him. In a kind of madness, Inuyasha laughed. "Hey, stupid!" he yelled, continuing to move back, the broken sword still in his hand. "Want to try that again? Next time, I'll take the entire leg!"

The bear snarled, and rose higher, starting to pivot on his hind legs. Inuyasha tensed, readying for a race he knew he couldn't win. And then, as he had hoped, the neko struck. The bear howled and crashed onto his side, just missing the desperately back-pedaling human. Sheathing his blade, Inuyasha reversed course and jumped, landing on the youkai's shoulders. A second leap took him to the top of the bear's neck. Letting his feet slide down either side of the neck, as if straddling a horse, Inuyasha grabbed a handful of coarse fur with his left hand, then pulled the sword out in a reversed grip with his right. Leaning forward as far as he could, he slammed the end of the broken blade into the youkai's left eye.

The howl was a screech of agony. As the bear struggled to get to his feet, throwing off the neko, Inuyasha slashed through the right eye, and then, releasing his grip on the fur, used both hands on the hilt to plunge the jagged end of the blade as hard as he could into the central eye.

The bear youkai rose to its full height, roaring. Arms and legs straining to the utmost, Inuyasha strove to work the blade deeper. Through slitted eyes, he saw the neko leap for the bear's throat. The impact shook him loose of his precarious grip. Having seen it coming, he managed to get enough of a kick against the bear's neck to send him sideways, as the neko's leap took the bear over backwards. He managed to tuck, and hit the ground rolling. Breathless and nearly senseless, he looked up in time to see the bear youkai's body go limp. Immediately, it began to dissipate and shrink. The neko released her grip and lifted her head. Red eyes met his. Leveraging himself up to a seated position, Inuyasha grinned at her.

"You were fighting to protect those children, weren't you?" he asked. Her eyes blinked, and then she pulled herself off the remnants of the dead youkai and staggered towards him. She came to a trembling stop within arm's length, and started to extend her muzzle. Then she pulled her head back, black ears flattening. Inuyasha blinked, then realized what she was looking at. "Oh, sorry." He pulled the dagger and its hilt out of his sash. For a moment, he considered setting it down, then sighed and tucked it in his sash in the back. He extended a hand for her to sniff. "Can you talk?"

Her ears drooped, and she sighed. "But you can understand me?" She rumbled a soft purr and rubbed her head against his hand. Reaching up, he scratched behind her ears for a moment. "You were great."

She gave him a long, steady look, then purred for just a second. Turning away, she started to limp towards the river, one tail not quite dragging the ground. Inuyasha watched her, wishing he had the knowledge and skill to tend her wounds. He didn't know how he knew, but he knew she had deliberately fought to protect the children. He liked her, and wished there were a way to be friends with her. If only they were not youkai and human--

"Archers, take your aim!"

Inuyasha snapped his head around, and saw the handful of unwounded archers drawing back their bows. "No!" Lurching to his feet, he staggered over to place himself between the neko and the archers. "My lord, let her go!" he called, searching for the daimyo. "She killed the bear, she saved the children, let her go!"

A gesture from the daimyo dropped the bows to point the arrows down. The lord walked towards Inuyasha, stopping a length away. "You still have the knife my daughter gave you."

Inuyasha felt the red creeping up his face. "Yes, my lord." He retrieved the scabbard from behind his back and held it out, unable to look at the lord's face.

"My daughter chooses where she wills, and the man she chooses will be my heir. You would not mind being a daimyo, would you not, bastard grandson of a daimyo? You would like to possess my daughter?"

Inuyasha felt his face redden further. The young woman was very beautiful. He had dreamed--how could he not have dreamed? Of having her for his wife. Of being the daimyo's heir, of visiting his grandfather's domain, and watching all of the people who had made his childhood a torture bowing to him. Part of him wanted all that, oh, so very much. And yet... "My lord," he said, "your daughter does me great honor. But I--I am not worthy of her. Or you. What happened in the stable, I--what I did was not honorable."

The daimyo snorted. "I will decide what is honorable where my daughter is concerned. Look at me, Inuyasha."

He met the cold, black eyes. "My daughter gave you a weapon to use. Why didn't you?"

"My lord, I..." Inuyasha had to struggle to keep his eyes on the daimyo. "I--I was not worthy of the gift."

"If my daughter thinks you worthy enough to give it to you, you are worthy," snapped the daimyo. "And she expected you to use it."

"My lord."

"Use it to kill the neko."

Inuyasha flinched. "My lord!" he protested. "She helped us!"

The black eyes were unyielding. "You swore to obey me. Kill the neko."

He blanched. Slowly, he looked behind him. The neko had turned back, and was watching him with those calm, red, knowing eyes. As he watched, she folded her legs and went to the ground with a groan. No! he cried to her in his mind. Run away! Don't make me do this! She looked at him; ears cocked forward, only her bleeding sides moving as she breathed. Sweat trickling down his face, Inuyasha turned back to the lord and went to his knees. "I cannot."

"You will use the blade." A sword scrapped a scabbard, and the tip of the daimyo's sword appeared before Inuyasha's eyes, not quite touching the grass. "You will use it on the neko -- or you will use it on yourself."

His dreams collapsed, turned to nightmare. Inuyasha thought of the neko, and knew he could not kill that brave and compassionate youkai. He was bound in service to the lord, and that, in honor, gave him only one choice. Willing his hands not to tremble, he set the blade before him, and then reached up to unfasten his helmet. It went carefully to the ground beside him. Piece by piece, he undid his upper armor, stacking it neatly. Pulling open his kimono, Inuyasha picked up the knife and unsheathed it. He looked up at the daimyo. "I obey you, my lord." He hesitated a second, as if hoping at the last moment, the man might relent. The cold eyes and expressionless face did not change.

A blade keen enough to severe any youkai flesh was more than adequate to slice through human flesh. Left to right, then a second stab, cutting upwards. The bloody knife dropped from his hand. He ground his teeth together to keep from making a sound as the oddly familiar agony poured over him. Distantly, he heard the metallic scrape and click as the daimyo sheathed his sword.

And then, the daimyo laughed.

Inuyasha realized, then. This was not life, but only another dream. And not just a dream, but another from his childhood, perverted, used against him. The daimyo was the demon of the jewel, and it was laughing at him. Eyes opening, he saw the daimyo's figure blurring, shifting, enlarging, saw the green grass and trees and other human figures blur and fade into roiling, purple-black clouds. "Curse you!" he screamed, trying, and failing, to gain his feet. "Stop doing this to me! I will not give you what you want! I will not turn human or kill innocent youkai for you!"

The demon continued to laugh. Something like a tail struck him across his middle, sending him flying backwards. He felt the white nothingness reaching for him, and screamed in rage and frustration, realizing that he was caught in a trap that he didn't know how to break, that the demon would continue to use his dreams against him, until something happened that forced or seduced him into giving the demon what he wanted. I won't give in! he shouted to himself, yet he knew the defiance was ultimately useless, for how could he escape?

He started to fall.

A cat's roar came faintly to his ears. Something like fangs sank into his shoulder, but it didn't hurt. The white turned pale pink. He felt as if there was warm fur beneath his fingers, urging him to hold on. Or perhaps it was his mother's arms, holding him close. He didn't know. He only knew, this time, he did not fall alone.