InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Changing Lives ❯ The Story Of A Lifetime ( Chapter 19 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Dragon's Lover 
Blah blah stupid mediaminer screwed up on me. Just read the damn chapter. And review.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy / Suspense | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 01.29.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.2K | Visits: 800 | Status: Completed
Blah blah stupid mediaminer screwed up on me. Just read the damn chapter. And review.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy / Suspense | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 01.29.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.2K | Visits: 800 | Status: Completed
He grabbed for a phone on the wall, but heard no dial tone, and dashed across the house again for his earphone communicator. He had to call this in. . . but what would he say? A demon – no, he said he was half demon – had broken in, had a little chat, killed Desyno, scared the living piss out of Motsumoto, but let him live in the end, only scaring him in a twisted joke?
How many people would believe all that?
~*~ Sarah Lanes’ Office ~*~
Kagome looked down and gripped her skirt with both hands. “Okay. . .”
She took a deep breath and began.
~*~ Phantom ~*~
It was a chance that he would go to Hell for his lifetime of crimes, but that was fine. As long as she was okay.
. . . As long as she was okay. . .
~*~ Next Morning ~*~
Kagome trailed behind him, trying to read his thoughts, and failing. His expression changed dramatically over only a few seconds, and it disturbed her a little to see that look of concentration on his face. A look that she hadn’t seen since the destruction of Naraku, when they had a plan going and Inuyasha was following it for the life of him.
Literally.
Fifty One Back to this number, are we? Kinda fits that the climactic ending is coming at the same chapter number that Trans. began its ending at. That doesn’t make me a copycat of myself, does it? O.o
When they stepped outside, the first thing Kagome noticed about the man upon seeing him was that he looked almost entirely monochromatic. All black clothes, with almost perfectly white hair, even black sunglasses and hat. He had his hands in his coat pockets, his side facing her as he stared up at the God Tree, his mouth slightly open as though in awe.
“Hello?” she tried, even as Inuyasha stopped halfway between her and this man, growling menacingly. The appearance and feel of this man struck Kagome as so odd that she didn’t think to scold Inuyasha for growling at a stranger.
He jerked when she called out to him, and all at once he looked almost terrified. Even as Kagome stood more than ten feet away, she could clearly see it when he began shaking, which he hadn’t been moments before. He turned on his heel to face her and Inuyasha, though she didn’t know who he was looking at because of his sunglasses.
He wet his lips, opened his mouth, then shut it again and promptly looked down. Kagome was more than a little confused by this, but apparently Inuyasha wasn’t, because he snatched out his hands – Tessaiga hung securely in his belt once more – grabbed the man by the lapels of his coat, and glared in a way that only Sesshomaru or a close friend would be able to face without pissing themselves.
“What the fuck do you want?” Inuyasha snapped cruelly.
“Inuyasha!” Kagome scolded. “Will you let him go? You said yourself you don’t –”
“Let me handle this,” Inuyasha returned hotly.
Indignant fury rose in Kagome at that. “Oh, so now you’re the big bad tough guy again? You were cuddling me just this morning!”
Though Inuyasha blushed at that and let go of the man, he snapped over his shoulder, “Yeah, and what of it? I didn’t have to, wench!”
Kagome scoffed in return, “I swear, Inuyasha, if it wouldn’t give us away I’d –”
“It won’t,” the man interrupted, and as Kagome’s focus shifted back to him, she realized that he had taken a step back from Inuyasha and had in fact been chuckling at them. “You hide no secrets from me,” he explained.
“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Inuyasha demanded harshly.
It was obvious by the way the man turned his head towards Inuyasha that his eyes had shifted to the hanyou, and he smiled smally. “Just what I said. There’s nothing the two of you know about each other that I don’t.”
Kagome’s insides froze very slowly, and her mind seemed to be working just as sluggishly. Though she heard Inuyasha’s swears as he demanded the man to explain, her mind was speaking to her in an almost foreign way.
It was him, he killed them all. He knows you and Inuyasha just as well as you do. He’s not a stalker or he wouldn’t have let himself be seen. He speaks kindly, he seems scared, he looks like he’s in pain – this is the Phantom and he knows you.
Kagome’s brain seemed to click then, and she said very simply, “Take off your hat and glasses.”
Inuyasha, who had the man by his lapels again and was shaking him as though it would help, abruptly let go and took a step back. When the man didn’t make a motion other than straightening his coat, Inuyasha barked out, “You heard her, take them off!”
The man smiled wryly and did as he was told. His glasses came off first, but he kept his eyes closed, making it only slightly easier to recognize him. And Kagome recognized him – but from where, exactly?
Then he took off his hat and both Inuyasha and Kagome stood, stunned.
“Inuyasha,” Kagome said softly.
Inuyasha looked over his shoulder at her, “What?” he snapped.
She shook her head. “It’s you,” she said.
The man standing before her had dog ears atop his head, and bangs matching Inuyasha’s. Though his hair was much shorter, save for his forelocks, it was the same color, if not a few tones lighter. His eyes were the same golden shade, but even so, they looked entirely different. There was a universe of pain in each eye, infinite sadness, and a heartbroken look that made her heart clench in her chest. Enveloping all three was a longing that swallowed up the others, almost hiding them.
Inuyasha looked back at the man. “But there’s only one of me,” he argued uselessly.
“I think,” Kagome began, still staring, “that you came here to say something.”
His eyes grew sadder, if it were possible. She was sure, then, that something truly horrible had happened to him, something him mind was both trying to recall and trying to keep hidden away. What would put that look in his eyes, that. . . that. . .
There wasn’t even a word for it.
“I did,” he told her. “But I can’t. . . not out here.” He looked over at the Inuyasha Kagome knew; caught his gaze. “I’ll try to explain, but we need to go inside.”
For a moment Kagome’s fury rose up again at the fact that he looked pointedly away from her, and then two things dawned on her: Firstly that Inuyasha was perfectly still at the moment, obviously needing a push to get in gear again, and secondly that looking at her had made that look of sadness intensify and he would probably be better off looking at his younger self anyway.
“Yeah – Inuyasha?” she said, softly. She touched his shoulder. “Inside, like he asked?”
Inuyasha seemed to jump before shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah, inside, right. . .” he mumbled. He turned and headed for the house, grasping Kagome’s forearm as he went and holding it tightly, pulling her along with him.
It took a little while for them all to get settled and a bit of privacy in the living room. Mama had stumbled upon them three seconds after the three of them were inside and had nearly fainted in her surprise and shock, then asked a million questions. The older Inuyasha would only give one answer: “I need to tell them first.”
Mama had then allowed them to speak in the living room, dashing away to tell Grandpa what she knew – which wasn’t much. Kagome and the younger Inuyasha sat on the couch while the older Inuyasha sat on the chair. He stared at his feet for a few long moments, doing idle things such as taking off his gloves and coat and laying them across his lap.
Killing time, or so it appeared. Then he finally spoke.
“Three years from now,” he began. “The whole thing. . . it started three years from now. I can’t. . . tell you everything, but I can tell you most of it. . .”
“Why the fuck would you be holding back on us?” Inuyasha snapped harshly at his older self.
“Because. . . some of it would give away your future together. . . and some of it I. . . I don’t think I could. . . relive. Again, I mean.” He had that sad look in his eyes again, that beyond-infinitely sad look that made Kagome hurt, even as he stared only at his booted feet with a faraway look. She would almost think his mind wasn’t here, if he hadn’t responded to his younger self’s harsh inquiry.
“Just tell us what we need to know,” Kagome suggested gently.
He looked up at her, sharply, when she said that. There was shock and confusion in his eyes now, almost swallowing the pain and sorrow, along with clear tinges of nostalgia. After what had to be twenty full seconds of him just staring as though he were looking at a ghost, the pain and sadness returned and he shook his head.
And then he started with the story:
“Like I said, it was. . . three years from now. We only became closer, Kagome and me. . .” He paused and Kagome understood why he speaking about her instead of to her, because she wasn’t his Kagome. He continued, “On her eighteenth birthday, I had a whole day planned in my era. After she had fun with her friends and family here, I brought her back and tried my best at giving her the best ending to the best day I knew how. And when the moon was at its peak. . .” He paused again; the memory seemed to bring him pain and he blinked harshly, holding back tears but smiling. Eyes still shut tight, he went on, “We made love.
“The trouble happened the next year. She was pregnant, and seven months along. Those men that. . . that had raped her. . .” As he said this, Kagome’s stomach froze as she realized that her self that once belonged to him had been raped as well. He seemed to have an extremely hard time saying this, but went on, as though Kagome and his younger self weren’t there, “three of them got out of prison. I don’t know how; I never made it back to check. They found Kagome. . .
“She’d been out of practice. It’d been two years since she’d had to use her arrows or fight in any way; everything had been so calm. . . and she. . . she didn’t have any bows in the Shrine anyway. . . she. . .” he broke off and held his hands to his head for a moment, as one would hold themselves when having a migraine, “she knew she couldn’t fight them. . . they found her at the Shrine. . . and I, I was. . . in my era. . .
“She made it to the well, and jumped down, but. . . I-I didn’t realize. . . she was. . . I came running when I. . . I smelled her blood and. . . but when I got there, it was. . . over. . . and they were. . . looking around and co. . . covered in her blood. . .” He broke off again with a harsh sob holding his head tighter but took deep breaths to calm himself, and all at once began talking much faster, throwing the words out his mouth, as though it could lessen the pain of remembering.
“I attacked them before I could think, and when they were dead, I jumped down in the well. She was down there, she had already died, and the baby – the ba-baby – she had – it was – it was a girl –” he gave another sob but went on hurriedly – “but the baby was dead too, and I couldn’t stop myself, I just screamed and screamed. It was M-Miroku and Sango who found me, the n-next day, I was sitting in the well, hugging my f. . . family and crying and they tried to get me out, they knew what had happened. . .
“I broke down, mentally, they said, I wouldn’t leave the well, I kept jumping down it and trying to get it working again but Kagome’s blood had sealed it – I couldn’t get through no matter how hard I tried!” Once more he paused to give a sob, lurching forward warningly, looking like he was about to empty his stomach, tears already coming in streams down his cheeks. He shuddered as he breathed, seemed to calm himself, and sat back up.
His hands finally released his head and laid almost too gently on his lap, he stared at his knees, and continued yet again.
“They buried her and the baby there, cause I couldn’t get them back. I couldn’t attend the funeral, couldn’t see her put in the ground, not like my mother; I couldn’t see that happen to Kagome!” He sniffed and took another deep breath.
“I think it was. . . god, I don’t know. . . maybe weeks, maybe months, maybe days. . . Sesshomaru showed up. I don’t know why he was there but I didn’t care. I just waiting for my body to die; I hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept, I knew I looked like shit but I didn’t care about that, either. Sesshomaru said some rehearsed shit about fate and weaknesses and strength and all that. I didn’t even hear him. Then he hit me, really hard, too.
“I didn’t bother getting back up; I was hoping the bastard would just kill me and end it. He didn’t, though, in fact he picked me up by my haori and dragged me behind him. He even took flight at one point, I don’t know why; I never thought to ask. But he took me to his castle, threw me in one of the rooms, said some other rehearsed shit about having to get better for revenge or something. I wasn’t listening.
“Next morning he came by the room again, I hadn’t moved in the slightest. Some maid youkai came in and started cleaning me up, but I was beyond willpower to tell them to stop, to not bother about it. They washed me off and put me in some yukata I’d never seen before, took my clothes to get them washed. Three of them stayed in the room and tried to get me to eat something, but nothing went down, not even when they pressed it to the back of my throat.
“Next morning rolls around and Sesshomaru’s back again, ‘checking on me,’ he said, along with that girl, Rin. She hugged me and chatted away cheerfully, made a wreath of flowers and put them on my head. The entire time I was just laying there, staring up at the ceiling, didn’t hear a word the kid said. Every day was like that, for years, I think.
“First Sesshomaru and that kid come in, she chats up a storm, hugs me a lot, then the maids come in, wash me down, change my clothes, try to feed me. Sometimes Sesshomaru and Rin come in after that, at night, try to talk some sense into me, and so on. Mostly I just laid there and sometimes cried; I don’t think Sesshomaru ever knew how much pain I was in, or else he didn’t care much.
“Then every morning when he shows up he says the same thing: ‘If you wait for her time to return, could you not stop her death from happening?’ He had to say it repeatedly, probably said it every day for months before it hit me. By then Rin went from a kid in puberty to a teenager in love with some demon, I never looked into who, but I think Sesshomaru gave him a run for his money before letting him court her.
“I started hanging out in the gardens on the other side of my room after that. Sometimes for days a time, I would be out there, and just lay there, trying to build up my strength again. I was more than half dead, I even have a few hints that Sesshomaru had to use Tenseiga more than once to bring me back. At least it felt that way.
“By the time I was up to walking around consciously again, I remember Rin had already mated that demon she was in love with and had three little whelps. Almost made me laugh how Sesshomaru still claimed to hate hanyous and humans, but kept those kids around him a lot.”
He paused there, contemplating his feet once more. Kagome took the moment to return to herself instead of the painful emotions that had wrought her as she listened to him, to find that Inuyasha had wrapped his arms around her and was holding her tightly to him. She looked over her shoulder at him and saw a world of suffering in his eyes; fear, pain, sorrow, anger, even bits of paranoia, all in his eyes, working up his insecurities and making him cling to her.
He was clinging to her. . . She thought he was holding her to keep her calm, but he was holding her, to prove to himself that she was there, that this wasn’t a dream, that what happened three years in the future and five centuries in the past never happened to him.
The older Inuyasha shook his head once more, still focusing on his shoes, and went on once again.
“I don’t know exactly when I finally returned to myself, but Rin was an old woman by then with seven grandkids, all of them perfect in Sesshomaru’s eyes. They all liked me, though I didn’t know why; they clung to me a lot, poked me a lot, talked more than their grandmother had – it was infuriating, but at the same time, it made me hurt and smile, thinking that my da – my daughter could have been like that.
“Then this demon attacked with the need to destroy the world and all that shit, and the fight helped a lot, getting me to think straight again. I helped Sesshomaru kill him, in fact I had to, cause the guy was too strong and fast and too damned smart for Sesshomaru to beat alone. All these demon allies of Sesshomaru’s came and helped, but in the end it was me and Sesshomaru that killed off the bastard.
“The whole time I kept thinking how weak I’d become, how much stronger I was when Kagome was around. I died with Tessaiga in my hands while fighting that guy, and afterwards Sesshomaru revived me. It was a. . . what do you call it. . ? An epiphany. When I woke up, I knew exactly what I had to do.
“So I started planning and talking to Sesshomaru more. Everything I’d learned from Kagome’s time I started writing down and giving to him; logos, jingles, products, maps, lists of electronics, places to be, languages and people, automobiles, airplanes; the works. I guess it was then that I proved my worth to Sesshomaru, cause after that he started calling me ‘brother’ and having his servants call me ‘Inuyasha-sama.’
“And the time came when I had to. . . put this huge plan into motion. I’d been working on it for a century, looking over it, making sure it was perfect. To make sure that Kagome wouldn’t be raped, wouldn’t die; she would live and be happy, even if it cost me my life.
“But I couldn’t watch her, even look at her, not until now. . .” He paused when he said this and looked up at Kagome, somewhat sadly as always, but managed a true smile that highlighted his face and eyes, even if it didn’t erase the pain and longing in his gaze. He continued, “I sent a demon to watch over you that day,” speaking directly to Kagome, “but I didn’t realize there could have been two threats to watch out for.”
“Two?” the younger Inuyasha echoed. “Two?”
The older Inuyasha nodded. “Yeah. . . Turns out some higher-class kids were going to use the girls from your grade and class to hold the school hostage. While the demon dealt with those kids, you were walking home, alone. . . And when he finally got back on your scent, you were gone. Completely. He had a weak nose. I should have picked somebody with a stronger sense of smell, but nobody else was more dedicated to Sesshomaru, more loyal and unquestioning of his orders.
“Then he comes back telling me that he lost you, how sorry he was, how he didn’t know where you went. . . I almost killed him because I snapped; I’d been known to do that over the centuries, a lot. But even though I knew where you were, I couldn’t come after you myself, it was too late. I looked at the time and I knew my younger self was minutes away from finding you. . .
“And then there was the news. I remember you made me promise I wouldn’t kill them, even hurt them; that I was going to leave them alone to spend the rest of their days in prison. But I knew they’d get out now. And I knew that I had to kill them before they could. Just hurting them wouldn’t work.
“I’d been planning how I was going to torture them for a long time. The only thing that changed because they’d actually gotten to you, was how they’d be caught, and how you two would react from then on.”
“How,” Kagome began, “did you know what order they. . ?” She couldn’t finish and leaned farther into Inuyasha as she waited for an answer.
“You told me,” he replied, very softly. She’d only just heard him. His eyes were swimming in tears that hadn’t shed yet, and he went on, “You told me, after you became pregnant, to end all the secrets between us. You told me how the entire. . . rape. . . went, and I sat quiet and listened the whole time.”
“But you promised you wouldn’t,” Kagome argued uselessly.
He shook his head. “That was a different lifetime. I died, probably more than once. And Kagome. . . look, I didn’t want to ask you this. . . but just sitting her near you is killing me. . .”
She was startled to say the least, but nodded. “What is it?”
“Can I. . .” he swallowed, “can I touch you?”
Touch? That was it? Well, maybe it was nothing to Kagome, but to him. . . He hadn’t been able to touch her in five centuries! And how could she ever deny him? He may be different, but the soul behind those eyes was Inuyasha’s. He was Inuyasha. Her Inuyasha, even if he belonged to a different ‘her.’
She nodded. “Of course.”
A corner of his lips lifted as she said that, and a light danced in his eyes. Now that his question was asked, however, he didn’t seem to know how to go about it. The younger of the two, still holding Kagome, looked shocked that she had agreed, but at the same time, shocked at himself for feeling jealous and angry about it. He grudgingly let Kagome go and scooted a few inches away, allowing his older self to see that he was okay with it.
Maybe he wasn’t, but he just knew he’d get sat if he argued about it.
The older Inuyasha motioned to get up out of the chair, paused, sat back, looked around the room, down at the claws on his right hand, back up at Kagome, and finally slid out of the chair to sit on his knees. He half-waddled closer to Kagome, until his stomach was nearly touching her knees, his face only inches from hers, and lifted his hand. He opened his mouth to speak, made a few odd sounds, laughed at himself, shut his mouth, and finally touched her cheek, feather-light; he grinned.
He let out a quick breath, as though relieved. “I haven’t forgotten,” he half-explained when Kagome tilted her head in question. “I thought I might’ve forgotten. . .”
He didn’t give any further reason than that, and Kagome shrugged it off, shutting her eyes and pressing her cheek into his touch more. He kind of giggled when she did that, an almost hysterical sound, and snatched his hand back. He was looking elsewhere now, somewhat forlorn again.
And he asked another question, “Will you, just. . . touch me?” he muttered quietly.
The younger Inuyasha stuttered in protest, and – unable to find his voice – stood up and gestured at his older self and Kagome as though asking that question was the crudest thing a person could do.
Kagome shook her head at the younger of the two and smiled back at the older. He’d been through a lot, and was asking her very, very little. So she reached out and cupped his cheek, finding it cooler than she’d expected, mimicking his touch to her cheek but with more contact.
He shuddered in what had to be pure pleasure. He tilted his head towards her hand, almost laying his head in her hand, and then abruptly threw himself forward. His face pressed into her thighs, his arms linked around her waist, and he sobbed harshly. Kagome didn’t know what set him off exactly, but she doubted she could have gotten an answer out of him.
Her own emotions at the moment confused and relaxed her at the same time. She should have blushed at where his head was, she should have screamed in fear and torturous memories; she should have pushed him back for not being her Inuyasha.
But instead she smiled sadly and pet his shoulders and hair where she could reach. The younger Inuyasha’s jaw simply dropped as he watched this, and he began pacing the room as he struggled to understand, to calm himself, and to allow this to just happen.
“Am I interrupting?” a smooth voice asked.
All three looked up towards the kitchen, where a very obvious high-ranked businessman stood stoically. Kagome felt an odd recognition as she looked at him; that was Sesshomaru, yet it wasn’t. He had Sesshomaru’s face, was Sesshomaru’s height, had Sesshomaru’s hair and Sesshomaru’s emotionless gaze.
But the crescent moon, the streaks, the pinkish eyeshadow were missing; he had a briefcase in his left hand, where Sesshomaru didn’t have a left arm. But who else could it be?
“I let him in,” Mama said, coming around the corner. She stopped dead when she noticed the older Inuyasha still had his head in Kagome’s lap. “Kagome, what. . ?”
“It’s okay, Mama,” Kagome told her. As she looked down, she could see dark spots where Inuyasha had cried, even as his head still laid in her lap, only now he was looking at Sesshomaru. Kagome looked up again; was that truly Sesshomaru?
:End Chapter:
Why oh why did this go so wrong?
You may not see it, but I do. I had dozens of ways in my head for me to write this. One involved a flashback, but as it turns out, not very many people like flashbacks. Still, this chapter took a different turn from them all.
Shows how well I can follow plans, don’t it? -.-
Moving ahead. . .
Hmm, is there anything new to say? . .
Maybe. . .
:Breaks out the Army of Good Reviewers and Lightning once again: Review I say!! I swear, if I get one more e-mail from one of you saying, “Oh, I really should review more often,” I’m gonna start demanding a certain amount of reviews before I update! How would you like THAT?
Okay maybe I won’t. I just like getting reviews. In hindsight it’s really a good thing, isn’t it, when I don’t get that many reviews? It means you guys can’t find anything wrong, right?
WRONG!
Point out the parts you liked, the parts you didn’t. Although, you should leave the OBVIOUS parts you did/didn’t like out. Everybody likes fluff and nobody likes pain.
Unless you’re S&M. But I don’t need to know if you are or not. Seriously, don’t tell me. If you tell me you’re Masochist, I just might take advantage of that. Just call me Dominatrix.
Err, in hindsight, forget about that part. :Whistles idly:
Now, my pretties, ATTACK!!! And my attacked, REVIEW!!
:Army attacks, Attacked reviews:
You got that? :Stern, disapproving look:
See yas!
How many people would believe all that?
~*~ Sarah Lanes’ Office ~*~
Kagome looked down and gripped her skirt with both hands. “Okay. . .”
She took a deep breath and began.
~*~ Phantom ~*~
It was a chance that he would go to Hell for his lifetime of crimes, but that was fine. As long as she was okay.
. . . As long as she was okay. . .
~*~ Next Morning ~*~
Kagome trailed behind him, trying to read his thoughts, and failing. His expression changed dramatically over only a few seconds, and it disturbed her a little to see that look of concentration on his face. A look that she hadn’t seen since the destruction of Naraku, when they had a plan going and Inuyasha was following it for the life of him.
Literally.
Fifty One Back to this number, are we? Kinda fits that the climactic ending is coming at the same chapter number that Trans. began its ending at. That doesn’t make me a copycat of myself, does it? O.o
When they stepped outside, the first thing Kagome noticed about the man upon seeing him was that he looked almost entirely monochromatic. All black clothes, with almost perfectly white hair, even black sunglasses and hat. He had his hands in his coat pockets, his side facing her as he stared up at the God Tree, his mouth slightly open as though in awe.
“Hello?” she tried, even as Inuyasha stopped halfway between her and this man, growling menacingly. The appearance and feel of this man struck Kagome as so odd that she didn’t think to scold Inuyasha for growling at a stranger.
He jerked when she called out to him, and all at once he looked almost terrified. Even as Kagome stood more than ten feet away, she could clearly see it when he began shaking, which he hadn’t been moments before. He turned on his heel to face her and Inuyasha, though she didn’t know who he was looking at because of his sunglasses.
He wet his lips, opened his mouth, then shut it again and promptly looked down. Kagome was more than a little confused by this, but apparently Inuyasha wasn’t, because he snatched out his hands – Tessaiga hung securely in his belt once more – grabbed the man by the lapels of his coat, and glared in a way that only Sesshomaru or a close friend would be able to face without pissing themselves.
“What the fuck do you want?” Inuyasha snapped cruelly.
“Inuyasha!” Kagome scolded. “Will you let him go? You said yourself you don’t –”
“Let me handle this,” Inuyasha returned hotly.
Indignant fury rose in Kagome at that. “Oh, so now you’re the big bad tough guy again? You were cuddling me just this morning!”
Though Inuyasha blushed at that and let go of the man, he snapped over his shoulder, “Yeah, and what of it? I didn’t have to, wench!”
Kagome scoffed in return, “I swear, Inuyasha, if it wouldn’t give us away I’d –”
“It won’t,” the man interrupted, and as Kagome’s focus shifted back to him, she realized that he had taken a step back from Inuyasha and had in fact been chuckling at them. “You hide no secrets from me,” he explained.
“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Inuyasha demanded harshly.
It was obvious by the way the man turned his head towards Inuyasha that his eyes had shifted to the hanyou, and he smiled smally. “Just what I said. There’s nothing the two of you know about each other that I don’t.”
Kagome’s insides froze very slowly, and her mind seemed to be working just as sluggishly. Though she heard Inuyasha’s swears as he demanded the man to explain, her mind was speaking to her in an almost foreign way.
It was him, he killed them all. He knows you and Inuyasha just as well as you do. He’s not a stalker or he wouldn’t have let himself be seen. He speaks kindly, he seems scared, he looks like he’s in pain – this is the Phantom and he knows you.
Kagome’s brain seemed to click then, and she said very simply, “Take off your hat and glasses.”
Inuyasha, who had the man by his lapels again and was shaking him as though it would help, abruptly let go and took a step back. When the man didn’t make a motion other than straightening his coat, Inuyasha barked out, “You heard her, take them off!”
The man smiled wryly and did as he was told. His glasses came off first, but he kept his eyes closed, making it only slightly easier to recognize him. And Kagome recognized him – but from where, exactly?
Then he took off his hat and both Inuyasha and Kagome stood, stunned.
“Inuyasha,” Kagome said softly.
Inuyasha looked over his shoulder at her, “What?” he snapped.
She shook her head. “It’s you,” she said.
The man standing before her had dog ears atop his head, and bangs matching Inuyasha’s. Though his hair was much shorter, save for his forelocks, it was the same color, if not a few tones lighter. His eyes were the same golden shade, but even so, they looked entirely different. There was a universe of pain in each eye, infinite sadness, and a heartbroken look that made her heart clench in her chest. Enveloping all three was a longing that swallowed up the others, almost hiding them.
Inuyasha looked back at the man. “But there’s only one of me,” he argued uselessly.
“I think,” Kagome began, still staring, “that you came here to say something.”
His eyes grew sadder, if it were possible. She was sure, then, that something truly horrible had happened to him, something him mind was both trying to recall and trying to keep hidden away. What would put that look in his eyes, that. . . that. . .
There wasn’t even a word for it.
“I did,” he told her. “But I can’t. . . not out here.” He looked over at the Inuyasha Kagome knew; caught his gaze. “I’ll try to explain, but we need to go inside.”
For a moment Kagome’s fury rose up again at the fact that he looked pointedly away from her, and then two things dawned on her: Firstly that Inuyasha was perfectly still at the moment, obviously needing a push to get in gear again, and secondly that looking at her had made that look of sadness intensify and he would probably be better off looking at his younger self anyway.
“Yeah – Inuyasha?” she said, softly. She touched his shoulder. “Inside, like he asked?”
Inuyasha seemed to jump before shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah, inside, right. . .” he mumbled. He turned and headed for the house, grasping Kagome’s forearm as he went and holding it tightly, pulling her along with him.
It took a little while for them all to get settled and a bit of privacy in the living room. Mama had stumbled upon them three seconds after the three of them were inside and had nearly fainted in her surprise and shock, then asked a million questions. The older Inuyasha would only give one answer: “I need to tell them first.”
Mama had then allowed them to speak in the living room, dashing away to tell Grandpa what she knew – which wasn’t much. Kagome and the younger Inuyasha sat on the couch while the older Inuyasha sat on the chair. He stared at his feet for a few long moments, doing idle things such as taking off his gloves and coat and laying them across his lap.
Killing time, or so it appeared. Then he finally spoke.
“Three years from now,” he began. “The whole thing. . . it started three years from now. I can’t. . . tell you everything, but I can tell you most of it. . .”
“Why the fuck would you be holding back on us?” Inuyasha snapped harshly at his older self.
“Because. . . some of it would give away your future together. . . and some of it I. . . I don’t think I could. . . relive. Again, I mean.” He had that sad look in his eyes again, that beyond-infinitely sad look that made Kagome hurt, even as he stared only at his booted feet with a faraway look. She would almost think his mind wasn’t here, if he hadn’t responded to his younger self’s harsh inquiry.
“Just tell us what we need to know,” Kagome suggested gently.
He looked up at her, sharply, when she said that. There was shock and confusion in his eyes now, almost swallowing the pain and sorrow, along with clear tinges of nostalgia. After what had to be twenty full seconds of him just staring as though he were looking at a ghost, the pain and sadness returned and he shook his head.
And then he started with the story:
“Like I said, it was. . . three years from now. We only became closer, Kagome and me. . .” He paused and Kagome understood why he speaking about her instead of to her, because she wasn’t his Kagome. He continued, “On her eighteenth birthday, I had a whole day planned in my era. After she had fun with her friends and family here, I brought her back and tried my best at giving her the best ending to the best day I knew how. And when the moon was at its peak. . .” He paused again; the memory seemed to bring him pain and he blinked harshly, holding back tears but smiling. Eyes still shut tight, he went on, “We made love.
“The trouble happened the next year. She was pregnant, and seven months along. Those men that. . . that had raped her. . .” As he said this, Kagome’s stomach froze as she realized that her self that once belonged to him had been raped as well. He seemed to have an extremely hard time saying this, but went on, as though Kagome and his younger self weren’t there, “three of them got out of prison. I don’t know how; I never made it back to check. They found Kagome. . .
“She’d been out of practice. It’d been two years since she’d had to use her arrows or fight in any way; everything had been so calm. . . and she. . . she didn’t have any bows in the Shrine anyway. . . she. . .” he broke off and held his hands to his head for a moment, as one would hold themselves when having a migraine, “she knew she couldn’t fight them. . . they found her at the Shrine. . . and I, I was. . . in my era. . .
“She made it to the well, and jumped down, but. . . I-I didn’t realize. . . she was. . . I came running when I. . . I smelled her blood and. . . but when I got there, it was. . . over. . . and they were. . . looking around and co. . . covered in her blood. . .” He broke off again with a harsh sob holding his head tighter but took deep breaths to calm himself, and all at once began talking much faster, throwing the words out his mouth, as though it could lessen the pain of remembering.
“I attacked them before I could think, and when they were dead, I jumped down in the well. She was down there, she had already died, and the baby – the ba-baby – she had – it was – it was a girl –” he gave another sob but went on hurriedly – “but the baby was dead too, and I couldn’t stop myself, I just screamed and screamed. It was M-Miroku and Sango who found me, the n-next day, I was sitting in the well, hugging my f. . . family and crying and they tried to get me out, they knew what had happened. . .
“I broke down, mentally, they said, I wouldn’t leave the well, I kept jumping down it and trying to get it working again but Kagome’s blood had sealed it – I couldn’t get through no matter how hard I tried!” Once more he paused to give a sob, lurching forward warningly, looking like he was about to empty his stomach, tears already coming in streams down his cheeks. He shuddered as he breathed, seemed to calm himself, and sat back up.
His hands finally released his head and laid almost too gently on his lap, he stared at his knees, and continued yet again.
“They buried her and the baby there, cause I couldn’t get them back. I couldn’t attend the funeral, couldn’t see her put in the ground, not like my mother; I couldn’t see that happen to Kagome!” He sniffed and took another deep breath.
“I think it was. . . god, I don’t know. . . maybe weeks, maybe months, maybe days. . . Sesshomaru showed up. I don’t know why he was there but I didn’t care. I just waiting for my body to die; I hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept, I knew I looked like shit but I didn’t care about that, either. Sesshomaru said some rehearsed shit about fate and weaknesses and strength and all that. I didn’t even hear him. Then he hit me, really hard, too.
“I didn’t bother getting back up; I was hoping the bastard would just kill me and end it. He didn’t, though, in fact he picked me up by my haori and dragged me behind him. He even took flight at one point, I don’t know why; I never thought to ask. But he took me to his castle, threw me in one of the rooms, said some other rehearsed shit about having to get better for revenge or something. I wasn’t listening.
“Next morning he came by the room again, I hadn’t moved in the slightest. Some maid youkai came in and started cleaning me up, but I was beyond willpower to tell them to stop, to not bother about it. They washed me off and put me in some yukata I’d never seen before, took my clothes to get them washed. Three of them stayed in the room and tried to get me to eat something, but nothing went down, not even when they pressed it to the back of my throat.
“Next morning rolls around and Sesshomaru’s back again, ‘checking on me,’ he said, along with that girl, Rin. She hugged me and chatted away cheerfully, made a wreath of flowers and put them on my head. The entire time I was just laying there, staring up at the ceiling, didn’t hear a word the kid said. Every day was like that, for years, I think.
“First Sesshomaru and that kid come in, she chats up a storm, hugs me a lot, then the maids come in, wash me down, change my clothes, try to feed me. Sometimes Sesshomaru and Rin come in after that, at night, try to talk some sense into me, and so on. Mostly I just laid there and sometimes cried; I don’t think Sesshomaru ever knew how much pain I was in, or else he didn’t care much.
“Then every morning when he shows up he says the same thing: ‘If you wait for her time to return, could you not stop her death from happening?’ He had to say it repeatedly, probably said it every day for months before it hit me. By then Rin went from a kid in puberty to a teenager in love with some demon, I never looked into who, but I think Sesshomaru gave him a run for his money before letting him court her.
“I started hanging out in the gardens on the other side of my room after that. Sometimes for days a time, I would be out there, and just lay there, trying to build up my strength again. I was more than half dead, I even have a few hints that Sesshomaru had to use Tenseiga more than once to bring me back. At least it felt that way.
“By the time I was up to walking around consciously again, I remember Rin had already mated that demon she was in love with and had three little whelps. Almost made me laugh how Sesshomaru still claimed to hate hanyous and humans, but kept those kids around him a lot.”
He paused there, contemplating his feet once more. Kagome took the moment to return to herself instead of the painful emotions that had wrought her as she listened to him, to find that Inuyasha had wrapped his arms around her and was holding her tightly to him. She looked over her shoulder at him and saw a world of suffering in his eyes; fear, pain, sorrow, anger, even bits of paranoia, all in his eyes, working up his insecurities and making him cling to her.
He was clinging to her. . . She thought he was holding her to keep her calm, but he was holding her, to prove to himself that she was there, that this wasn’t a dream, that what happened three years in the future and five centuries in the past never happened to him.
The older Inuyasha shook his head once more, still focusing on his shoes, and went on once again.
“I don’t know exactly when I finally returned to myself, but Rin was an old woman by then with seven grandkids, all of them perfect in Sesshomaru’s eyes. They all liked me, though I didn’t know why; they clung to me a lot, poked me a lot, talked more than their grandmother had – it was infuriating, but at the same time, it made me hurt and smile, thinking that my da – my daughter could have been like that.
“Then this demon attacked with the need to destroy the world and all that shit, and the fight helped a lot, getting me to think straight again. I helped Sesshomaru kill him, in fact I had to, cause the guy was too strong and fast and too damned smart for Sesshomaru to beat alone. All these demon allies of Sesshomaru’s came and helped, but in the end it was me and Sesshomaru that killed off the bastard.
“The whole time I kept thinking how weak I’d become, how much stronger I was when Kagome was around. I died with Tessaiga in my hands while fighting that guy, and afterwards Sesshomaru revived me. It was a. . . what do you call it. . ? An epiphany. When I woke up, I knew exactly what I had to do.
“So I started planning and talking to Sesshomaru more. Everything I’d learned from Kagome’s time I started writing down and giving to him; logos, jingles, products, maps, lists of electronics, places to be, languages and people, automobiles, airplanes; the works. I guess it was then that I proved my worth to Sesshomaru, cause after that he started calling me ‘brother’ and having his servants call me ‘Inuyasha-sama.’
“And the time came when I had to. . . put this huge plan into motion. I’d been working on it for a century, looking over it, making sure it was perfect. To make sure that Kagome wouldn’t be raped, wouldn’t die; she would live and be happy, even if it cost me my life.
“But I couldn’t watch her, even look at her, not until now. . .” He paused when he said this and looked up at Kagome, somewhat sadly as always, but managed a true smile that highlighted his face and eyes, even if it didn’t erase the pain and longing in his gaze. He continued, “I sent a demon to watch over you that day,” speaking directly to Kagome, “but I didn’t realize there could have been two threats to watch out for.”
“Two?” the younger Inuyasha echoed. “Two?”
The older Inuyasha nodded. “Yeah. . . Turns out some higher-class kids were going to use the girls from your grade and class to hold the school hostage. While the demon dealt with those kids, you were walking home, alone. . . And when he finally got back on your scent, you were gone. Completely. He had a weak nose. I should have picked somebody with a stronger sense of smell, but nobody else was more dedicated to Sesshomaru, more loyal and unquestioning of his orders.
“Then he comes back telling me that he lost you, how sorry he was, how he didn’t know where you went. . . I almost killed him because I snapped; I’d been known to do that over the centuries, a lot. But even though I knew where you were, I couldn’t come after you myself, it was too late. I looked at the time and I knew my younger self was minutes away from finding you. . .
“And then there was the news. I remember you made me promise I wouldn’t kill them, even hurt them; that I was going to leave them alone to spend the rest of their days in prison. But I knew they’d get out now. And I knew that I had to kill them before they could. Just hurting them wouldn’t work.
“I’d been planning how I was going to torture them for a long time. The only thing that changed because they’d actually gotten to you, was how they’d be caught, and how you two would react from then on.”
“How,” Kagome began, “did you know what order they. . ?” She couldn’t finish and leaned farther into Inuyasha as she waited for an answer.
“You told me,” he replied, very softly. She’d only just heard him. His eyes were swimming in tears that hadn’t shed yet, and he went on, “You told me, after you became pregnant, to end all the secrets between us. You told me how the entire. . . rape. . . went, and I sat quiet and listened the whole time.”
“But you promised you wouldn’t,” Kagome argued uselessly.
He shook his head. “That was a different lifetime. I died, probably more than once. And Kagome. . . look, I didn’t want to ask you this. . . but just sitting her near you is killing me. . .”
She was startled to say the least, but nodded. “What is it?”
“Can I. . .” he swallowed, “can I touch you?”
Touch? That was it? Well, maybe it was nothing to Kagome, but to him. . . He hadn’t been able to touch her in five centuries! And how could she ever deny him? He may be different, but the soul behind those eyes was Inuyasha’s. He was Inuyasha. Her Inuyasha, even if he belonged to a different ‘her.’
She nodded. “Of course.”
A corner of his lips lifted as she said that, and a light danced in his eyes. Now that his question was asked, however, he didn’t seem to know how to go about it. The younger of the two, still holding Kagome, looked shocked that she had agreed, but at the same time, shocked at himself for feeling jealous and angry about it. He grudgingly let Kagome go and scooted a few inches away, allowing his older self to see that he was okay with it.
Maybe he wasn’t, but he just knew he’d get sat if he argued about it.
The older Inuyasha motioned to get up out of the chair, paused, sat back, looked around the room, down at the claws on his right hand, back up at Kagome, and finally slid out of the chair to sit on his knees. He half-waddled closer to Kagome, until his stomach was nearly touching her knees, his face only inches from hers, and lifted his hand. He opened his mouth to speak, made a few odd sounds, laughed at himself, shut his mouth, and finally touched her cheek, feather-light; he grinned.
He let out a quick breath, as though relieved. “I haven’t forgotten,” he half-explained when Kagome tilted her head in question. “I thought I might’ve forgotten. . .”
He didn’t give any further reason than that, and Kagome shrugged it off, shutting her eyes and pressing her cheek into his touch more. He kind of giggled when she did that, an almost hysterical sound, and snatched his hand back. He was looking elsewhere now, somewhat forlorn again.
And he asked another question, “Will you, just. . . touch me?” he muttered quietly.
The younger Inuyasha stuttered in protest, and – unable to find his voice – stood up and gestured at his older self and Kagome as though asking that question was the crudest thing a person could do.
Kagome shook her head at the younger of the two and smiled back at the older. He’d been through a lot, and was asking her very, very little. So she reached out and cupped his cheek, finding it cooler than she’d expected, mimicking his touch to her cheek but with more contact.
He shuddered in what had to be pure pleasure. He tilted his head towards her hand, almost laying his head in her hand, and then abruptly threw himself forward. His face pressed into her thighs, his arms linked around her waist, and he sobbed harshly. Kagome didn’t know what set him off exactly, but she doubted she could have gotten an answer out of him.
Her own emotions at the moment confused and relaxed her at the same time. She should have blushed at where his head was, she should have screamed in fear and torturous memories; she should have pushed him back for not being her Inuyasha.
But instead she smiled sadly and pet his shoulders and hair where she could reach. The younger Inuyasha’s jaw simply dropped as he watched this, and he began pacing the room as he struggled to understand, to calm himself, and to allow this to just happen.
“Am I interrupting?” a smooth voice asked.
All three looked up towards the kitchen, where a very obvious high-ranked businessman stood stoically. Kagome felt an odd recognition as she looked at him; that was Sesshomaru, yet it wasn’t. He had Sesshomaru’s face, was Sesshomaru’s height, had Sesshomaru’s hair and Sesshomaru’s emotionless gaze.
But the crescent moon, the streaks, the pinkish eyeshadow were missing; he had a briefcase in his left hand, where Sesshomaru didn’t have a left arm. But who else could it be?
“I let him in,” Mama said, coming around the corner. She stopped dead when she noticed the older Inuyasha still had his head in Kagome’s lap. “Kagome, what. . ?”
“It’s okay, Mama,” Kagome told her. As she looked down, she could see dark spots where Inuyasha had cried, even as his head still laid in her lap, only now he was looking at Sesshomaru. Kagome looked up again; was that truly Sesshomaru?
:End Chapter:
Why oh why did this go so wrong?
You may not see it, but I do. I had dozens of ways in my head for me to write this. One involved a flashback, but as it turns out, not very many people like flashbacks. Still, this chapter took a different turn from them all.
Shows how well I can follow plans, don’t it? -.-
Moving ahead. . .
Hmm, is there anything new to say? . .
Maybe. . .
:Breaks out the Army of Good Reviewers and Lightning once again: Review I say!! I swear, if I get one more e-mail from one of you saying, “Oh, I really should review more often,” I’m gonna start demanding a certain amount of reviews before I update! How would you like THAT?
Okay maybe I won’t. I just like getting reviews. In hindsight it’s really a good thing, isn’t it, when I don’t get that many reviews? It means you guys can’t find anything wrong, right?
WRONG!
Point out the parts you liked, the parts you didn’t. Although, you should leave the OBVIOUS parts you did/didn’t like out. Everybody likes fluff and nobody likes pain.
Unless you’re S&M. But I don’t need to know if you are or not. Seriously, don’t tell me. If you tell me you’re Masochist, I just might take advantage of that. Just call me Dominatrix.
Err, in hindsight, forget about that part. :Whistles idly:
Now, my pretties, ATTACK!!! And my attacked, REVIEW!!
:Army attacks, Attacked reviews:
You got that? :Stern, disapproving look:
See yas!