InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fragment of Eternity ❯ Feeling the Rain ( Chapter 10 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: I do not own Inu-Yasha, but I own a whole lot of his merchandise! ^_^

Author's Note: Hiya, guys- and Happy Valentines Day! (Or late V-day, considering I'll probably post this on the 15th. . . )

Guess who's Birthday it is today (the 14th)? XD

I am now officially a year older! And OMG- my friends threw me a surprise party and everything! -^_^- The past two days have been so much fun and I've gotten so much attention I'll be sad when it's all over. . . ^_^;;

Oh well. My birthday cake will last a while, at least (I've gotten three from various people! --^_^--).

I feel oh-so-very loved! XD

Anyway. . .

I was going to do a Valentine's one-shot, but I ran out of time. I'll still write one, if you guys like, but I dunno. . . do you guys think I should?

Well, moving on-

One: ~nice chappie. i am very confused on how kag and inu are ever going to be together. are they even going to be together? i am so confused about that.~

Grr- - - YES, DARN IT, YES!!!!!!!! THEY WILL $*!&#(%)@*!* GET TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

Two: ~Kikyo seemed a little OOC in her diary. She doesn't usually seem that luvy duvy does she? anyway, besides that, it was really good! keep on going!~

I sort of agree. Comapred to the dead Kikyo we're used to, she did seem sort of OOC. But this was the live Kikyo, so how do we know what she'd act like? We never really `met' the live Kikyo in the anime or manga- only see a few flashbacks on her and stuff. Besides, doesn't everyone get a little fluffy/weird/obsessive etc. in their diaries and such?

Three: -^_^- Wow! What a great birthday gift, a `marriage proposal'. ^_~ Lol! Well, Daikirai no Kougai-san, (just as `if you were a guy you'd propose) if you were a guy, maybe I'd accept! ::giggles:: (Sorry if I embarrassed you- I just loved your review- it was funny and cute and it made me feel so loved! ^_~ XD)

Four: Thankies to EVERYONE! You're all so sweet for not getting mad at me about being busy! I really have been, and I still am (Ugh, I don't even want to THINK about this week's schedule @_@). However, I still am trying my best (sorry, that's all I can do! ^_^;;) So just hang in there. I have a long weekend coming up- I'll try to update again then and work on the next chapter of ED. ^_^ On that note. . .

A warning:

For the most part, this is a very serious chapter. I hope you enjoy it, and remember- a few light hearted chapters are coming up soon. Please enjoy and R&R! ^_^

~*~

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*


~Fragment of Eternity~

Chapter Ten: Feeling the Rain

*

*

*

Fall had come in full measure, it's blustery days of multi-colored leaves accompanied by frequent thunderstorms. Such was the case today.

"God, it's really coming down out there," Sango mused quietly as she and Kagome silently climbed the steps to the attic, candles in their hands. The power had blown a few hours ago and there was no point in trying to fix the fuse box until the storm was over. The electricity would just give way again. So the alternative: carrying around bright, slender white candles just like in the olden days. It certainly gave the house an eerie feel- but who would expect anything less? (Especially in a haunted house?)

"Yeah," Kagome agreed, only half paying attention as the flame of her candle sent dim figures dancing across the narrow walls of the stairwell. She kept flinching at those shadows; afraid that one might be Inu-Yasha. She didn't want to meet up with him right now. After all, it was a guarantee that, if he did find them, he would demand an extensive explanation to their intrusion. Talk about annoying.

But oddly, they hadn't come across Inu all day- not even that morning when the power had blown. Kag had been sure he was going to curse up a fuss, whining about the condition of his poor house.

`Maybe he's out with Kikyo,' she mused, carefully to keep all emotions out of her thoughts. For some reason, she was afraid to allow herself to even FEEL an emotion concerning her incarnation. Well, she was probably just nervous about having another ghost around.

Yeah.

That was it.

The two females stepped cautiously onto the landing of the attic, palms cupped around their flaming wicks as the rain pounded loudly on the roof. The room seemed like one big nothingness- engulfed so totally and completely in darkness that their little candles didn't even dent the inky blackness. It was very, VERY spooky- ghost or not. Kagome gave a small, involuntary shiver, but Sango barely seemed to notice the atmosphere. The way she acted, one might suppose she was residing in the land of pink flowers and butterflies.


"Okay!" the exterminator said cheerfully, really getting into the task at hand. "Operation Find-Out-About-Inu-Yasha's-Past-Before-He-Finds-Us-And-Grotesquly-Murders-U s now begins!"

. . .

Kag shot her friend a dry glance. "Couldn't you think up a shorter and, I dunno, less obvious name?"

"What's wrong with it?" the second female defended herself with a frown.

. . .

"Never mind. Let's just split up and look through all these boxes before he discovers what we're doing," the ebony haired girl sighed, walking carefully towards the far left side of the attic. She still didn't trust these old, squeaky floorboards. "Try the chests in front, I'll go towards the back."

The creaking sound of an opening trunk hit Kagome's ears, though she couldn't see it through the darkness. All she really knew was that she was heading toward the farthest caverns of the unexplored attic, alone with nothing but a candle. Well, that and Sango- but she was sort of busy at the moment. Evidently, the magenta eyed girl was rather sensitive to dust.


"Have you looked through any of these, yet?" the exterminator's snuffley voice called from the front of the room, muffled by the sides of the box her face was inside.

"No," Kag called back. "I only opened one. I haven't even- ow!"

The girl took a step backwards, pealing herself from the wall she had just walked into. `Stupid- - - !' Sighing in annoyance and rubbing her nose, Kag gave a 90 degree turn, peering intently into the darkness. She was maybe 7 or 8 yards from Sango and the trunks by the staircase- but it sure seemed like farther. A few paces ago an old wall had come into view, turning this end of the attic into a wide hallway. And right where she stood, that dark hall gave a sharp left turn, leading into a small, closet-like room without a door. The girl cocked her head in slight confusion, taking a few careful steps into the enclosed space.

`What could this lead to- - - ?'

!!!

Her eyes widened in absolute horror as her candle fell to the ground, burning out before it came in contact with the floor. But Kagome barely noticed the blackness that completely swallowed her as she fell to her knees.

"Oh my God. . ."

*

If he closed his eyes he could almost feel it. He could almost imagine it hitting his opaque skin and rolling off like a moist pearl. He supposed it would feel cool and refreshing. Or maybe hard and hot? Or hot and refreshing? Or cool and hard? Then again, what did those feel like? Heat? Coldness?

Okay, now he was just all out confused.

Sighing heavily, he pushed those tangled, jumbled once-coherent musings away; reverting back to his previous thoughts.

Yes, with his eyes closed he could almost feel the rain- though he wasn't sure anymore what it would feel like.

Still, imagining this rain was better than nothing.

Inu-Yasha slowly opened his eyes as another roar of thunder rolled over the land, shaking the earth with it's sound. He stood in the middle of the yard, his feet as close to the ground as they were aloud to be- about an inch or so. Tumbling droplets of moisture were pounding down on all sides of him- through him. Falling from the far away gray sky. They splattered as they came into contact with the rooftops, trees, and grass; making puddles of brownish liquid on the road and filling up rain barrels and eaves. The boy kept his eyes locked on the heavens, an odd look on his face as a harsh wind blew through, picking up one or two water logged leaves and sending them tumbling clumsily into trees.

But he didn't feel anything. Not the rain, not the wind. It had been too long since he'd had flesh; nerves. . .

Sighing, he allowed his head to fall back down, his chin resting against his chest as he watched the green grass become mushy with rain. A few weak worms wiggled their way to the surface, deciding to drown above ground rather than below it.

"Morons. . ." Inu growled softly, his voice gruff but not quite mad. "Do you even realize you're squirming your way to suicide?" He frowned as the worms ignored him, crawling as fast as they could towards the road and high, dry ground. Well, whatever. Good luck to them. They'd need it.

Looking away from the worms, the ghost began to slowly stroll through the backyard, and then through the front. Perhaps if he'd have been paying attention he would have heard a loud `thump' from inside the house- in the direction of the attic-, but as it was he was he was too lost in thought to notice or care. He had other more important things on his mind right then. . .

Memories to sort through. . .

Emotions to deal with. . .

Rubbing the back of his neck in slight irritation, the spirit allowed another deep sigh to escape him. `It's still weird, after all these years. . . To be able to stand in the middle of anything- whether it be twister or storm or bomb- and not feel a thing.'

He didn't like that feeling- that nothingness. It was annoying- frustrating. But. . . it was life.

Or, death, as it were.

Slowly coming to a stop, Inu-Yasha stared intently at his feet for a few moments, closing his eyes once more. Maybe this time he'd feel it- that rain.

. . .

No.

He wouldn't.

And he never would again.

He'd never feel the snow or the breeze. He'd never feel the texture of real skin. He'd never feel the coarseness of hair or the gentle silkiness of a cherry blossom. He'd never feel physical pain or aching. He'd never feel the rain. Not again. Not anymore.

"And so is the curse of the dead. . ." he whispered, clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to swallow a tiny lump that seemed to have lodged itself in his throat.

"Yes. This would be it, wouldn't it?"

?!

Inu snapped his head back up, stiffening in apprehension- - -

When his golden eyes fell upon Kikyo, who was slowly gliding towards him, head cocked as a small, sad smile played on her lips. She glanced around the yard as she neared him, before carefully taking his hand in her own.

"It's really pouring, isn't it?" the female murmured, gently tugging the boy's hand. He complied to her unspoken wishes, walking stiffly hand in hand with her around the large, sopping gardens. "I half expect to see someone building an arc in their backyard."

"I don't think we'll receive that much rain," the boy replied, only the slightest hint of amusement in his voice. He felt Kikyo's hand tighten around his own as she turned to look up at him. Another gusty breeze blew through, sending a few liquid-heavy leaves through their transparent bodies. Not that either really noticed.

"What's the matter?" the miko then asked, brow furrowing in concern. "Don't you like to walk with me? Aren't you glad to see me?"

Inu-Yasha blinked in slight surprise at the sudden, intense question. "No, that's not it! I love to walk with you and I'm glad to see you, I really am. It's just. . ."

Kikyo peered expectantly up at him, nervousness sketched on her flawless features. Was she afraid he still hated her? Probably. . . "Just. . . ?"

"It's just. . . the rain." The rain and this feeling in the pit of his stomach. He and Kikyo, they needed to talk. About their life, about their death- about her sudden appearance and desire to take a stroll with him, too. But. . . But he didn't want to. He didn't want to know. . .


He didn't want to know why she. . . she. . .

. . .


The girl almost instantly cheered up again, not noticing the clouded expression in his eyes. "The rain? Oh, Inu-chan, don't let the rain ruin your mood! There's no point. Besides, the rain brings life. We may not need the water, but all the other creatures do. So. . . Let the rain fall." She graced him with a charming smile.

Inu-Yasha almost smiled in return- almost smiled over the fact that, even in death, she could still be so optimistic. But he couldn't quite remember how. So instead, he gave her a small grin and laced his fingers with her own ghostly ones. Instantly, he felt a little better. It was nice to be able to touch something, even if it was just the cold smoothness of another spirit's hand. It told him that at least he wasn't completely alone. . .

And so he tried to push his previous thoughts out of his head as he walked with Kikyo through the yard, listening to her talk about how great it was to see him. She mentioned nothing about their life. He decided not to bring it up- not right now. Sure they needed to talk, but they had eternity to do so. There was no rush.

. . .

Only a small hole of doubt he needed to fill.

*

"Kagome?! What's wrong?"

Kag could not reply as she looked blankly into the shadows of the hall-like room. She could feel her stomach churn and tears pricking in the corners of her eyes as she tried to swallow the metallic taste creeping up her throat. Her white, trembling hands clenched and unclenched the air by the ground, not even bothering to grope for her candle. There was no need. She knew what she had seen- and she didn't want to see it again.

"Kagome!"

Bam!

Sango had thrown down the lid to the chest.

Tptptptptptpt!

Sango had dashed towards the place she had last seen Kagome.

"Ow! Shit!"

Sango had raced into the wall.

Tptp- - -tp- - tp- tp. . . tp.

Sango had stopped running, eyes wide in shock as she stepped up next to Kag- the light of her candle illuminating the space enough for her to see the sight Kagome had. In the soft candlelight, the ebony haired girl could easily observe her friend as her magenta eyes widened, her knuckles whitened, and her chin trembled.

The exterminator chewed her bottom lip for a moment before choosing to speak.

"Well. . .

I guess this explains *how* he died. . ."

Yes. . .

The hanging noose of rope dangling innocently from the rafters of the ceiling left no question in anyone's mind.

*

Back. . .

Fore. . .

Back. . .

Fore. . .

Kagome lightly closed her eyes, wrapping her thin blanket more tightly around her body as she listened to the rain from the porch swing.

Back. ..

Fore. . .

Back. . .

Fore. . .

She was swinging just like that rope was- the one in the attic. When Sango had walked closer to it for examination. When she had found a stool in the corner, one that had been kicked before rolling away. When she brushed that noose. . .

It had swung like this. . .

Back . . .

Fore. . .

Back. . .

Fore. . .

Kagome put her foot down, making the swing stop with a small creak of protest. She didn't need any reminders of this afternoon- she already felt ill. And after Sango had been kind enough to call off their search for the day just to keep her from being sick. . .

Well, it didn't change the fact that she wanted to throw up when she thought about it.

`Inu-Yasha. . . how could you take your own life like that? What could have happened to you that was so terrible? Why would you commit suicide?'

She felt a sick burning in the pit of her stomach, along with a numb tingling in her finger and her heart.

She'd never really grasped the meaning of that word. . . Suicide. . .

But . . .

Right now. . .


"Kagome?"

The girl gave a start, looking up quickly. For a moment she was embarrassed for not noticing she had company, but as soon as she saw who it was, she froze.

Inu-Yasha.

Her previously tingling heart stopped completely as her mind reverted back to that old, dark room- that worn, swinging rope. . .

"What are you doing out here?" he inquired rather rudely, oblivious to her feelings. His eyes seemed to be lingering on a retreating figure, one who was waving goodbye and shooting Kag some slightly annoyed looks. The girl didn't notice, though. She was too busy being aware of the taste of bile in her mouth, and of the ill feeling in her tummy. The feeling that had just intensified- - - intensified when she had seen something she hadn't before:

A small, almost unnoticeable rope burn on the right side of his throat.

He cocked his head in confusion, frowning. "Are you even listening to me, wench, or am I just talking to thin air?"

She looked away, unable to maintain eye contact. She couldn't erase the pictures from her mind- - - Kikyo. Inu-Yasha. The rope. Inu-Yasha and the rope. . .

"Hellooooo?" the now annoyed spirit drawled, `sitting' next to the girl on the porch swing and boring an irritated into her skin. "Would you acknowledge me? It's the LEAST you can do after driving Kikyo away with your soul-sucking-subconscious. She's still not strong enough to be by you for more than a few minutes without feeling faint. And we were having an interesting conversation."

Kagome didn't say anything- only curled into a small ball against the arm rest of the swing, concentrating on the sound of the rain and thunder; wishing it was enough to drown out the complaints of the ghost beside her.

Inu-Yasha frowned. Why wasn't she responding? That wasn't like her. . . So he concocted a plan. A stupid one, but a plan nonetheless: Well, let's make her mad. That'll help.

"Hey, wench!"

Nothing. Not even a frown.

"Idiot."

Still nothing.

"Moron, ass, bozo, imbecile, bitch!"

She didn't even look at him.

Was she feeling okay?

"Kagome?" he blinked, brow furrowed. Was it just the weak lighting, or did her face look slightly green? "What's wrong? Are you gonna barf or something?"

The girl swallowed, pulling her blanket to her nose. She could do this- she could talk to him. She could even argue, if she wanted. These mental pictures would go away eventually. . . She would not be haunted by them.

Now at least a little convinced, Kag took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to calm her nerves.

"I. . . I'm listening to the rain. That's all," she lied softly. "It sounds. . . pretty."

Well, she said she'd speak to him, not tell the truth. There was a difference.


Inu-Yasha shot her an odd glance, one that plainly read `Have you lost your mind? Did you really expect me to believe that?', but Kag wasn't looking at him, so it didn't matter. He did nothing else for a few moments.

"Don't you think it sounds pretty, Inu-Yasha. . . ?" the girl suddenly asked, her voice soft.

"Whatever," he replied nonchalantly, fiddling with the hem of one of his sleeves. "It sounds like rain to me. Besides, it's not the sound that I ca- - -"

!

But he cut himself off as soon as he realized what he was saying. Kagome could hear him swallow rather loudly; just like she had moments before.

"What?"

. . .

"What is it, Inu-Yasha?"

. . .

"It's not the sound I care about or miss. . ." he reluctantly continued, his voice a quiet grumble. He didn't want to say anything else, but since he knew she'd simply pester it out of him later, he might as well tell her now and get it over with. "I miss the feel of it."

. . .

`The feel. . . ?'

Kagome said nothing; her hands clenching her blanket so tightly that her fingers began to tingle.

. . .

"Kagome. . . ?"

"What?" she whispered in reply, her voice hoarse.

"Um. . ." He shifted in his seat, seemingly embarrassed. "What *does* rain feel like. . . ? I. . . forget."

The girl took in a sharp, shuddering breath, eyes glazing over. `You forget. . .

You forgot. Forgot because of that. . . that rope. . . Because you were too stupid to wait and face the next day. Because you were scared. Because of one idiotic choice. You tried to leave it all behind. . .

And you failed.

And so now you sit here with me. . . not alive but not quiet dead. . . listening to the rain. . . but being unable to feel it because to killed yourself. You had everything taken away from you- you were taken away from everyone else- - - but you did it all to yourself. Why?! You- you- you- - -'

Inu-Yasha's ears flicked as he heard a feminine murmur.

"What was that?" he questioned, arching an eyebrow in confusion. He hadn't really expected her to answer. . .

"You. . ." Kagome said again, her voice trembling and slow, "Are a pitied fool. . ."

With that, the girl got to her feet and walked quickly into the house, trying to choke back a sob.

`You were a fool.'

~*~

This chapter was dedicated to my friend Erin's `onii-san' `Squish', who committed suicide himself. May his soul find peace. Please keep them both in your prayers.

Ja ne