InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Incomplete ❯ Chapter 38 ( Chapter 38 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Langus

Author's Note: I know I don't normally put author's notes at the beginning of my chapters, but in this case I felt it was necessary. This chapter contains some disturbing scenes so if you are squeamish please don't read it. I received NUMEROUS flames the first time I posted this story and I expect to receive more posting it here, but I stand by my work. It is integral to the plot from here on out. That being said, I would appreciate constructive critcism instead of flames, but I'll leave it up to you :)

As a matter of clarification...I figured I should let you guys know that this chapter takes place just over a week after Rin and Jaken's escape from the prison. I'm thinking it's probably the first week of March, just on the cusp between Winter and Spring okay?

Happy (or not so happy) reading!

P.S: Wow! 100 Reviews? You guys are awesome! Thank you thank you thank you :)

Kagome sat alone in the meadow just outside of Kaede's village with a light jacket thrown over her shoulders. The frost had just begun to melt the week prior and though the ground was still barren, she could see the tiny buds of flowers beginning to sprout up from the soil. In another month the meadow would be filled to the brim with yellow and purple wildflowers. She smiled at the thought. The air wasn't yet warm but it was getting there, heated by the spring sun that shone out from behind the clouds. Kagome closed her eyes as a gentle breeze whipped towards her from the east, tangling her hair around her face. When she opened her chocolate orbs once more, she saw two figures walking towards her through the grass.

Her first instinct told her it was Rin and Jaken that she saw, but she quickly corrected herself. Don't be an idiot Kagome! They've been dead for months now. You need to move on and just accept that they're gone. She shielded her eyes against the sunlight and tried to blink the figures into focus. As they got closer and closer she felt her heart begin to race. She recognized Rin's kimono and was that Jaken's staff of two heads poking up out of the grass? Standing up, she brushed the dirt from her behind and stared at the pair as they walked slowly towards her. When she heard Rin's child like voice call out her name, she broke into a run.

Kagome wasn't thinking about anything other than how badly her arms ached to wrap the girl in a hug. All this time she'd thought they were dead, but somehow they'd survived the horror of that night so many months ago. Tears brimming in her eyes, she dropped to her knees in front of Rin and blindly wrapped her in a bone crushing hug. "Rin!" she cried into her hair. "I thought you were dead! I'm so happy you're okay! And you too Jaken!" she added as an afterthought, turning to the toad demon who surprisingly had tears in his eyes as well.

"We were certain you were dead as well my lady!" he said with a bow.

The priestess felt the girl's body go limp in her arms. Pulling her away from her chest she realized that Rin had passed out from exhaustion. With a gentle smile, she brushed the hair out of the girl's eyes and planted a loving kiss on her forehead. Picking her up and cradling the child in her arms she carried her towards the village. Jaken followed silently, snuffling every now and then as he wiped away stray tears.

"Lady Kagome, would it be acceptable if Jaken told you of our escape after he and Rin rested? We have been walking many days with very little sleep." Kagome nodded and looked down at him curiously.

"Where have you two travelled from that you had to walk so far?"

"The Northern Lands, my lady." Kagome stopped in her tracks and stared down at the toad demon incredulously.

"What?! You mean you walked all the way from the Northern Lands here?" At Jaken's nod she looked down at Rin with a newfound appreciation for her strength and determination. No wonder they were both so exhausted! Hugging the girl close Kagome closed her eyes and felt the reassuring beat of her heart through the tattered and filthy silk of her once beautiful kimono. She'd never felt so relieved and happy in her life. With her heart in her throat she finally realized that she wasn't dreaming, Rin and Jaken were alive and well! Maybe all hope was not lost then. Kagome's heartbeat faltered as another possibility dawned on her. If Rin and Jaken had survived then maybe…

"Jaken, what became of Sesshomaru? Is he…dead?" The toad demon looked at her with surprise. Does she not know from his mark that he is still alive? he wondered. Was it possible Sesshomaru never told the human girl of the bond created between them by the mating mark? Seeing his lady's hopeful expression and the tears hovering along the corners of her eyes he could only surmise that he hadn't. How unfortunate for her to go this many months thinking her mate to be dead. Finally he shook his head 'no' and watched as she gasped.

"Lord Sesshomaru is very much alive, my lady. It was he who instructed Rin and I to come to your group. I must admit though, we had no idea you would be here. We all thought you were dead as well, killed by those traitorous advisors and their guards."

Kagome's breath halted in her throat. She stared unseeing at the ground as her thoughts swirled with the tumult of emotions through her heart. Sesshomaru is…alive? The blood pounded in her ears as she swallowed thickly and tried to blink away the spots forming before her eyes. She looked up through the haze when she heard Inuyasha's voice call to her from across the meadow. He waved and she noticed the surprised look on his face when he saw her carrying Rin.

Kagome looked down at the girl's grubby face with wide eyes. Like a wave crashing to the shore, reality brought her back from the initial shock and she finally allowed the dam of pent up emotions to come crashing down. Collapsing to her knees, still holding Rin tightly to her chest, she sobbed uncontrollably until she felt Inuyasha pick her up and carry her without a word back to the hut.

Kagome came round to the feeling of a cold compress being placed on her forehead. Opening her eyes she looked up to see the weathered face of Kaede hovering nearby. Pushing the cloth away, she pulled her body upright and looked around. They were back in Kaede's hut. Inuyasha watched her from a few feet away as she stood to check on Rin. The girl was sleeping soundly, nestled into the warm blankets the old miko had laid out for her. Patting her dark hair affectionately, Kagome smiled and a comforting warmth spread throughout her chest.

When she'd first come to know Rin, she'd treated her like another sibling; almost as if she were Sota, but in female form. Now however, she understood that there was so much more to their relationship. Maybe it was because of the girl's paternal relationship with Sesshomaru, but Kagome had come to think of Rin almost as her own child. Surprised and a little disturbed that the role of a mother had come to her so easily to her considering her age, she stood up abruptly and moved herself closer to Jaken. He nodded out of respect as she sat beside him on the wood floor.

"Thank you for taking such good care of her." With a look up towards Rin the toad-like demon nodded his green head and shrugged his shoulders.

"Lord Sesshomaru would have my head on a platter if anything ever happened to her."

"I know he appreciates your services, even though he doesn't always tell you so," Kagome pointed out with a reassuring smile.

Jaken looked up at her, his eyes wide with surprise. Lord Sesshomaru appreciates me? The faithful servant felt tears come to his eyes as he thought of his Lord chained up in the prisons of the Northern Tribes. Both of them tried to ignore Inuyasha's indignant snort from the other side of the room. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and feigned indifference as he stared out the window, pretending as if he wasn't hanging on every word they said. The priestess rolled her eyes at him before turning her attention to Jaken once more.

"Please," she begged, "tell me what's happened to Sesshomaru. I must know!" The green imp took pity on her ignorance and told her about her lover sitting in chains in the prison of the Northern Tribes. Kagome gasped in shock, putting a hand to her mouth. How did they possibly subdue him? He must have killed so many soldiers! As if reading her thoughts, Jaken explained that the only reason why his great and powerful master had been there for so long was that the chains which bound him also drained his demonic energy, weakening him to the point where he couldn't possibly attack with enough strength to free himself.

The priestess stared at the floor as her mind began to wrap itself around possible plans of action. Perhaps Jaken and Rin can show us how to sneak into the castle. Then, if we used the others to create a diversion maybe I could run into the prison and free him myself! After a quick mental calculation, Kagome inquired as to the number of guards in the palace. The imp understood at once what she was getting at. Promptly standing up he shook his head stubbornly and pointed his stubby finger at her chest. "Oh no! No no no! Don't even think of trying to rescue him my lady. Sesshomaru gave me specific instructions…"

"Damn his instructions! I won't let him sit there rotting in some prison because he's too proud to accept help!" she demanded but the imp refused to be bullied.

"My lady I insist! Rin and I already tried to free Lord Sesshomaru but he insisted he would free himself when the time was right. He is planning something good I can feel it! He's going to slaughter those miserable traitors and mongrels! Oh just the thought of it gives me goosebumps!"

Kagome drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them thoughtfully. Pursing her lips she wondered what he could possibly be planning. Didn't he want to come find her? That's right…Sesshomaru must think I'm dead too! Jaken said so himself when they first arrived. Damn him! He better not get himself killed! Hearing another undignified snort from across the room she looked up, her eyes narrowing as they landed on Inuyasha.

"What?" she demanded, her tone showing her frustration. When he finally looked at her, his brown eyes held her gaze. She missed their amber colour from when he was a half demon. The fire in them shone much brighter then. Now his gaze was dark and unreadable, but she could tell from his body language what was on his mind. Now that Sesshomaru was alive, he knew she would want to go back to him. His hopes of being reunited with her were crashing down around him. She felt sorry for him, and guilty for letting him believe that perhaps she could learn to love him again, but her face turned to stone once he opened his mouth.

"They should leave that bastard in that prison, chained up like the dog that he is. I hope they kill him. You're much better off without him…we all are." Kagome stood up angrily, her hands squeezed into tight fists at her sides. She glared at Inuyasha, her body shaking with anger, until she finally exploded.

"SHUT UP! Just SHUT UP! You don't know anything about your brother. If you took even a minute out of your life to actually talk to him you might find that he's not such a bad guy. He treats me good. He treats Rin as if she was his own daughter and yet you think he should be put down like a dog? For someone who insists they love me as much as you do I should think that you'd want me to be happy more than anything. Well I am happy…when I'm with him!"

The silence in the hut was deafening. The only sound was Kagome's heavy pants as she tried to regain her composure once more. Three sets of eyes danced back and forth between Inuyasha and Kagome, waiting to see what would happen next. Inuyasha stubbornly stared past Kagome, his jaw clenched tight as he stubbornly refused to apologize. Growling at him in frustration, Kagome stormed angrily out the door without looking back. Everyone's eyes went to Inuyasha, silently judging him, waiting for him to react. He did nothing for a moment, merely looked at the bamboo mat fluttering across the door frame. Muttering a curse under his breath he finally stood up and pushed his way out the door as well, leaving the hut deathly silent behind him. Kaede sighed deeply and shook her head, exchanging a sympathetic glance with Shippo. The young kit shook his head in disgust and tossed a pile of sticks onto the fire. "Idiot," he muttered bitterly under his breath. Inuyasha's incompetence with women never ceased to amaze him.

After a moment of tense silence, Jaken turned to Kaede and watched her curiously. "Old woman, since when has Inuyasha been a human? I sense no demon in him at all!" Her grey head nodded as she continued to break apart dried herbs with her tired old hands.

"Aye, Inuyasha is a human. He used the Shikon Jewel to become so in the hopes that it would bring Kagome back to him." Jaken thought this over for a moment. Rubbing his chin, he looked towards the door.

"Was he successful? Lord Sesshomaru will be mightily displeased if he finds out his mate has returned to the arms of her former love." Kaede's shoulders rose in a tired sort of shrug and she looked towards the door as the well.

"I cannot tell ye that much, but I am sure of one thing. Kagome's heart is strong and true. She would never betray those she loves and those who love her. She may have loved Inuyasha at one time, but her heart belongs to Sesshomaru."

With a satisfied nod Jaken rested his head against the wall and resumed his patient watch over Rin's sleeping figure.

Inuyasha finally caught up with Kagome in a small clearing far from the hut. She was kicking at the dirt angrily with her arms folded in front of her chest as he approached. He was thankful he'd lost his demonic hearing abilities since he was fairly sure he didn't want to hear the curses she was muttering about him under her breath. Reaching out to her tentatively he rested his hand gently on her back. "Kagome? I-I'm sorry." She whipped around to face him and he was surprised to see tears gleaming in her eyes.

"Are you? I don't know if I believe you Inuyasha."

"So you're just gonna go back to him then? He abandoned you Kagome! Being with him nearly got you killed! You're willing to give up the safety you have here and all of your friends just for him?" he demanded jealously as he grabbed her wrist. She managed to wrench herself out of his grasp and glared at him.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I'm going to go back to him! Why can't you just accept that I love Sesshomaru? I'm happy with him and he treats me the way I want to be treated!" When Inuyasha stared at the ground instead of answering her she stormed away into the trees, waving her hands above head in frustration. He caught up quickly and fell in step behind her.

"Kagome stop running away." She actually listened to him for once and stopped dead in her tracks, bracing her hand against a nearby tree for support. She turned to look at him again and appeared drained. He could tell she just wanted this to be over. She wanted to discard him like a used rag and go back to Sesshomaru as if nothing had ever happened between them. A possessive, uncontrollable anger steadily gathered strength inside of his chest. She was leaving him behind. She was going back to him. His months of pining, longing and doting didn't matter to her. She didn't care what happened to him, didn't care what he'd sacrificed just to be with her. In his near panic he actually began to convince himself that she didn't care about him. He began to question if she'd ever truly loved him. Inuyasha's eyes narrowed at Kagome's pained expression. He didn't want her pity or her guilt, he wanted her to be his, always and forever. Acting purely on instinct fed by the anger brewing in his gut, he grabbed her roughly by the wrist and pinned her against the tree. She winced as the bark bit into her back and pushed against him.

"Ouch! Inuyasha! What are you doing? You're hurting me! Let go now!"

"You're supposed to be mine!" he cried out in a rage, pushing her harder against the tree. "You were always supposed to be mine Kagome, never his!" Scalding tears of anger and betrayal coursed down his cheeks as he screamed at her until his voice cracked. "I won't let you go back to him again!"

He cut off any protests from her lips with a bruising kiss. He could hear the cries of outrage muffled by his mouth and tried to block them out. If he didn't have to hear her say that she was leaving again than perhaps he could convince himself that the inevitable wasn't about to happen. If he had his way, Kagome would never leave his side again…especially not for his bastard brother. Though he was human now, he was still stronger than she was and pinned both of her arms above her head with little difficulty. He buried his face into her neck, wetting her skin with his tears. He took in her scent, breathing it in deeply, and planted warm kisses against her skin.

Realizing where this was headed, Kagome struggle to release herself from his grip but he held her fast. "Inuyasha stop or I'll-,"

"You'll what?" he demanded, cutting her off abruptly. The anger returned as he saw the fear and aversion in her eyes. She didn't want him, she'd never wanted him and it hurt more than he could imagine. "Will you purify me Kagome? Sit me into oblivion? In case you forgot those threats don't apply anymore. You've already taken that part of my life away from me, remember?"

Kagome gaped at him completely speechless. He was blaming her? Had he completely lost his mind? What'd ever happened to him taking responsibility for his own life and actions? The knot of anxiety in her gut told her where this confrontation was headed unless she put a stop to it. She refused to be a victim. Taking advantage of his momentarily slackened grip, Kagome brought her knee up hard between his legs and watched with satisfaction as his eyes bugged out of his head in shock and pain. With a groan he released her hands and slumped to the forest floor to crouch on his hands and knees.

"What the hell Kagome?" he choked out through another pained groan. His entire body was throbbing. White lights of pain exploded in front of his eyes and he suppressed the urge to be sick. He couldn't believe she'd sacked him. It only magnified the pain already throbbing in his heart and made her imagined betrayal even more biting. It was like rubbing salt into an open wound.

Kagome had been prepared to take off, but seeing Inuyasha in pain, pain that she'd caused, brought out her compassionate side once more. Her expression softened as looked over his hunched form and she hesitantly took first one step and then another until she was kneeling by his side. "Inuyasha?" His name was barely whispered from her lips as she laid her hands on his back. "Inuyasha I'm sorry…"

She watched as he ever so slowly pushed his body upright until he was sitting on his haunches. He kept his head bent low, refusing to meet her gaze. She called his name again, gently placing one hand on his shoulder. She couldn't leave him this way, not with so many questions hanging between them. She didn't want to lose him as a friend over this, not after they'd gone through so much together. She wasn't prepared for him to pounce on her, wasn't prepared for his hands to force her backwards into the dirt, she tried to cry out but his rough kiss silenced her.

Panic rose like a wave inside her chest as she struggled against him. No matter how she strained against him, she couldn't free her hands from his iron grip or push him off of her. He was strong, stronger than she remembered, and she realized as her belly sank with fear that she couldn't push him off. She had let herself be trapped by him. He had taken advantage of her compassion and the betrayal left a bitter taste in the back of her mouth.

As she heard him tear off her underwear tears began to seep from beneath her lashes to drip down her cheeks. Silent sobs racked her body as she felt him force his way into her and when he finally broke their kiss she begged him to stop for all she was worth. He buried his face in her neck and ignored her pleas.

"Inuyasha…please stop…please! You don't want to do this!" Kagome begged in between sobs, but her words fell on deaf ears. How could he have become this person? The old Inuyasha would never have raped me like this!Tracing his tongue down her neck he nipped at the pulse beating rapidly against his lips.

"Mine," he grunted out possessively with his face still buried in her neck. Kagome shuddered at the word when she heard the animalistic tone of his voice. There was nothing she could do to stop him now. When he release himself inside of her with one last powerful thrust, his body froze overtop of her. A powerful shudder passed through him and he let out a satisfied groan. After a moment he pushed himself off of her and fixed her with dark calculating eyes as he re-tied his haori. Unable to do anything else, Kagome curled into a sobbing, shivering ball at his feet. Kneeling down next to her he tilted her face to look at him, but she shrunk away from him in fear.

"Sesshomaru will never want you now. You are mine Kagome, remember that." Closing her eyes to block out his satisfied grin she jerked her head out of his grasp and let out a shuddering sob.How can this be happening? Why Inuyasha! Why would you do something so unforgivable?!

Kagome felt sick and violated. Every single part of her, every hair, every skin cell, felt dirty and desecrated. Turning to the side she vomited before collapsing in a fit of sobs. Inuyasha sauntered out of the clearing without a look back leaving her alone. With tears streaming down her cheeks she watched the red splotch of his haori fade into the horizon. "I hate you…Did you hear that? I HATE YOU!" she screamed at his retreating figure.

The forest responded to her call with a twittering of birds and a rustle of the wind through the branches, but nothing more. The sticky feeling of Inuyasha's seed spilling onto her thigh made her feel sick to her stomach once more. She would never feel clean again. And what of Sesshomaru? Would he want her now that she was damaged goods? Knowing the deep-seeded rivalry between him and his brother, it was certainly possible his pride wouldn't allow him to be with her knowing she'd been touched by Inuyasha.

With a groan, Kagome forced herself to her feet and braced her hand against the nearest tree to steady her balance. Her body ached and she winced at the pain between her thighs, but forced herself forward towards the nearest body of water. Even though the need to make herself clean drove her forward, she knew in her heart that a part of her would be forever stained by this one horrific act. She would never be the same again and she hated him for it right down to her very core.