InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Paper Flowers ❯ Fear of Silent Nights ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Chapter I: Fear of Silent Nights

The rain fell as expected. Dirt turned to mud, circling the fallen village and the torn huts. Other than the one man, there were no living beings in sight. His long hair swayed with the harsh gusts of wind that guided the downpour, and numerous droplets settled on his silver locks before falling to his feet only to be replaced by more. At his side, he clutched a fairly large package, all bundled up in an old scrap of fabric.

Trudging through the thickening mud, he kept his guard up, one hand resting lightly on the hilt of the sword at his side, prepared for anything as he somehow let his thoughts wonder. The large, bloody wasteland that he’d passed had caused him a headache and a great deal of guilt. The thick scent in the air was heavy with blood, and too strong for his sensitive nose, which was exactly why he hadn’t stayed to investigate further.

Each step he took seemed to be pulling him further into the mud as he kept his search of the village thorough while still running over the situation in his mind. That wasteland had been high on a hill littered with used crosses and rotting corpses. His journey had taken him to pass that hill but he had made his way around it rather than through it.

He stopped abruptly as another thought came back to him. A certain scent had been familiar to him and it hadn’t been until a few hours ago, when he had reached the village, that he had recognized it. His heart had almost stopped at that moment, but he had to face the truth. The time they were living in, the pain they were living through, it wasn’t safe. At least, not for people like Akemi.

The miko’s were thought of as witches by ordinary humans, and even some demons, but he knew for certain that he wasn’t one of them. As a half-demon, he knew somewhat how they felt. Always excluded and hated for what he was, he had to have known how they felt. He’d heard the stories of how it had started. Stories told by elders who claimed to have been there, but he knew better.

He was more informed than any of them, but to him, the stories had sounded like a ridiculous reason for people to feel the way they did about mikos. It had all started as a simple mistake. As he recalled what he was told, he took to sitting on the porch of one of the huts. The steps to the curtain door were still intact so he placed himself there, partially sheltered from the rain by the small overhang above the doorway.

The wind let out a low howl as he recalled his trip. For miles around the only thing that could reach his nose was the nauseating smell of blood, dried or fresh, it all sickened him equally. But the knowing that the blood he had smelled belonged to someone that he actually knew made his heart ache more than anything.

Another harsh gust heaved and the man’s silver hair blew almost violently for a moment before settling still as the wind died down again. Pushing himself up, he stood from where he was on the step. ‘It’s so ridiculous,’ he thought, ‘Hardly anyone even remembers why this all started in the first place.’

Dropping the subject for the moment, he let a sigh escape him as he started walking again. The huts all looked the same to him, but he needed to find Kagome. Her scent was strongly masked by the rain, but it was there. Faint as it was, her scent came to him from another direction and he turned, going left of the hut he had been sitting by.

He couldn’t determine for himself exactly what time it was, but judging by the sky, it had to be somewhere around midnight, although, it was hard to tell during a storm. The rain was still falling, but it was easing up a bit. Gray clouds still blanketed the sky, hiding the stars from his sight.

His golden eyes darted precariously from hut to hut, still searching until he found it. For a moment, he could only stand where he was in the middle of the muddy road, a mere 10 feet away from the hut that he knew she was in. He couldn’t bear to tell her, but he knew he’d have to. The thought of telling Kagome that her mother had been caught and killed was horrifying. But to tell her that he’d returned from the western lands with no news at all - that made it all the more difficult.

His feet moved nervously back and forth as he shifted his weight from one to the other, and then back again, his bare feet feeling less than comfortable in the thick mud he was standing in. His clothes were drenched by now, providing him with little warmth for him in the cold drizzle he was standing in. The red haori he was wearing clung to his skin like a leach, the white undershirt becoming visible through it.

His eyes rested on the hut for several minutes until he finally brought up the courage, and the knowledge that he’d have to face her eventually. With a slow pace, he approached the hut. Stepping up the few tattered stairs to the door, he pushed the mesh curtain to the side to look in before seeing her face to face. His clawed hand gripped the curtain tightly as he scanned the inside of the small hut.

There were no windows with only one door, being the one he was looking through. The walls were a hard wood grown weak after so much abuse, obviously made of some sort of tight bamboo or hardwood. The floor had been torn up some time ago, leaving nothing but bare dirt. Off to the side, he spotted her. Her lithe figure was hidden beneath a blanket, as she was sprawled out on an old futon. Realizing that she was asleep, he took the liberty of entering, dropping his parcel near the door. Glancing at the dead fire in the center of the room, he made a point to untie the bundle and remove a flint, as well as a few other items.

He quickly removed his wet outer haori and hung it on a line above the pit before placing himself beside the pit and setting himself to work.

He’d never liked starting fires. His reason being mostly because he was never good at it. None the less, he tried for her sake. He could see her shaking under the cloth and her skin had gone paler than usual. He admitted that he was cold himself, but it was nothing compared to what she must have been living through for the past couple of days. He’d left her to wait in that very hut no less than three days ago, when he had left. There was no doubt in his mind that since she was still there, she hadn’t left.

Looking her over, he saw that her shoulders were bare. Lifting his eyes to the line above the fire, he saw her haori and hakama that he had failed to notice before. They hung only inches away from his, so he questioned why he hadn’t seen them, but quickly brushed it aside. A few sparks flew up and caught fire to the previously scorched wood.

Contemplating whether to wake her or not, he decided to just let her sleep and talk to her when she awoke. No doubt she needed the rest, so he stood and made his way over to her side of the fire, placing himself only a foot away from her sleeping form. Letting out a sigh, he turned away from her and looked back to the fire.

Dancing almost violently, the oranges merged with reds to form a scorching waltz. Each burning log and charring ember only brought his mind to the world as it was outside of that hut. Those filthy partisans were just like the flames of his fire. Eating away at those embers until there was nothing left but ash. That was Kagome’s world. He looked to her as he thought this, wishing beyond the stars that her life wasn’t as bad as his had been.

He was still hated for being a half-breed, but miko’s had it worse than he ever had. He knew that all he could do was wish, for there was nothing he could do. Looking up from his last thought he raised an eyebrow. What if there was something he could do? At that, he shook his head and looked back to the fire, reflecting clearly in his already fiery eyes.

The girl shifted behind him, and he heard her groan. Turning his head, he saw her eyelashes flutter before they rose to meet his gaze.

“InuYasha,” she breathed, her eyes drifting shut for a moment before she looked back at him and smiled, “You’re back... I’m so glad.”

“Hey,” he replied simply, “Did I wake you.”

“No...” she replied, “The fire did. It suddenly got warm in here?” At that, they exchanged another smile, and she sat up. Suddenly conscious of her state of dress, she concealed herself more completely with her blanket.

“So,” she continued, “Did you find out anything?”

He only sighed, resting his arms on his knees and looking back to the fire.

“Is that a ‘no’?” she asked hesitantly.

“I’m afraid so,” he grumbled, “God, Kagome...” He drew in a sharp breath, burying his face in his hands. His mood was going downhill, as she could almost sense the anger in him.

She looked taken aback for a moment before she dropped her tensed shoulders, deciding to change the subject before they got into an argument, “Well... what about your brother? Did you find him?”

He didn’t reply. He just sat there, looking solemnly into the fire, fighting within himself whether or not to tell her about her mother. He knew he had to, but it was hard, even for him. Akemi was the one who had trusted him to take care of Kagome. Then again, she was the only one who cared at all. She had even approved of them being together and yet here he was, the only one who would, or could, tell her about it.

“Inuyasha?” she said, furrowing her eyebrows.

“The prejudice has spread to my brother’s lands,” he stated slowly, “As far west as I went, the only inhabited village I came across was...” He paused and shook his head. “I could barely stand it with the smell. Blood... that’s all there was.” He sighed again and looked back at her, “I dunno how any of those people could bare to live there, Kagome.”

“I see,” she said calmly, looking to the floor, “Then did you get a chance to speak with him? It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it? I would think even he would like to see a friendly face during a time like this...”

“No,” he answered, “Ever since his lands were taken over by this... this thing, he’s been out of sight. I’m guessing he’s just trying to wait it out. Bastard shouldn’t be planning on this ending so soon.” He glanced back at her with a sudden feeling of regret for what he had said. Lowering his voice until it was nearly inaudible, he stated his last piece of news. “I brought back some rice,” he said, gesturing to the package still sitting on the other side of the room, “but I didn’t bring you any clothes... trade’s gone downhill the past few months, so I couldn’t even get my hands on some decent materials for you...”

She paused at this, only staring at the back of his head before closing her eyes. “I can’t wear this, Inuyasha. I stand out too much....” she said quietly with a glance at the clothing hanging above the fire, only to be cut off by his raspy yell.

“Dammit, Kagome! Don’t you think I know that?!” he yelled, “I’m sorry, but there wasn’t anything available! What the hell do you expect me to do?!” His eyes were stern upon her. Seeing her frail, gentle figure looking back at him, his face softened and he let out another sigh, “I’m sorry...Kagome. I shouldn’t be yelling at you.....not now.”

“Huh?” she asked, still simply looking at him, expecting more, but when she didn’t get it she questioned him again, “What do you mean by that? Did something happen?”

“Kagome,” he started, not sure how to put it, “In....that village that I went through. There was...” He looked up at her. She was still looking back at him, her face filled with nervous anticipation. “It was... you see...” He paused again, unsure, and then simply, “I found your mom.”

He heard her gasp, and a muffled sound escaped her lips. “No...” she whispered, shaking her head. That was when the tears began to sting at the backs of her eyes, her voice seemed to leave her.

Inuyasha quickly grabbed his haori from above the dying fire and fell to her side. He held it out to her, but she just looked up at him, her eyes sad and filled with unshed tears.

He could only look back at her sadly. Her eyes shimmered with transparent tears that refused to fall as she took the front of his shirt in her hands, pulling slightly for some kind of support. He took her shoulders in his hands and pulled her into an embrace. Pressing her cheek to his shoulder, she let the sobs come openly.

Taking the haori back into his hands, he pulled it around her, slipping the soft material over her shaking shoulders and pulling her dark hair out from the back. It fit her well enough to keep her warm, but that didn’t matter as much right now. She was still sobbing and she quickly returned to leaning on him, pressing her damp cheek to his shoulder, staining his white shirt with her salty tears and bringing a wringing to his delicate ears with the cries that came so scarcely from her. Still, he let it be so. He knew she needed his shoulder, and he was there to give it.

_________________________


The young woman’s cries had softened to gentle sobs as the night had gone on. The hut had seemed to grow pitch dark as every hour passed after the fire had died out leaving nothing but glowing embers. Black blanketed the walls, a thin beam of light escaping through the small crack in the door.

Inuyasha looked down at her again, surprised that she hadn’t cried herself to sleep by then. Her eyes were still cracked open, leaving her a hazed vision of his damp shoulder. She hadn’t moved for at least an hour, but he could still hear her quick, harsh breathing and feel the dampness on his shoulder.

Still sympathetic, but fed up ever since his foot had fallen asleep, he brought a hand to her back, the other supporting himself, and took hold of her shoulder. He took his time and waited for her to let go with his help, but he pulled her free of his shoulder and set her back to sit on the makeshift bed she’d been sleeping on upon his arrival.

Her eyes refused to meet his, but he couldn’t blame her for that. She merely sat there, staring down at the few layers of blankets beneath her, her breathing slowly beginning to steady. Inuyasha eyed her delicate figure, his soft amber orbs tracing over her tear stained features and down to the wide area where his fire rat robe hung open, revealing more than was appropriate, but then again, he doubted that her personal appearance was the first thing on her mind at that moment.

He wanted, more than anything, to break the silence. Despite being alone with the only woman he ever opened up to, it was beginning to get rather uncomfortable. He glanced at her face once more before turning around again to face the forgotten fire pit, deciding on at least occupying his hands. Of course, no sooner had his hands reached the two strikers when her faint voice came to his ears.

“And...” she began in a voice that would have been inaudible to human ears, “what... about my father?”

His hands stopped in their movements as he heard her question. She would start crying again if he told her. He didn’t want her to cry anymore, especially not if her tears would be shed over that bastard, Takashi. Yet, he knew if he lied, she would be able to tell, even in her current state of grief.

“Takashi...” he started, searching for an appropriate way to word what he was about to say, “His scent was also there.” He turned his head far enough to glance at her. Her face was as it had been: blank and confused. Assuming it was alright, he continued, expressing his own opinion.

“Kagome, your father was always a cruel man, you know that. Be strong. None of this is your fault, and don’t deny it because I know that’s what you’re thinking.” A large enough spark finally lit and he let out a muffled ‘finally’ as he set the stones to the side and rested his forearms on his knees.

“Well,” he continued, “If you're not gonna answer me, then I might as well tell you about everything else that happened.” He turned his head again long enough to catch sight of the slight look of interest that crossed her face before turning back to the fire light, staring intently at the dancing flames as he continued.

“As I said, while I was gone, I wasn’t able to find anything, not even my brother. It seems even his once beautiful western lands have become as cold and desolate as the rest of the country. I honestly don’t know how anyone can bare living this way.” Inuyasha paused to drop a few small sticks into the fire in hopes of keeping it lit.

“Honestly, Kagome. It feels like I’m talking to myself,” he spat before continuing as if he hadn’t said it, “All of the area surrounding here is just as ruined. Trade has nearly stopped completely between even once allied villages. Of course, that didn’t help the situation with your clothing. Once I’d been out for about a day, I’d realized that with tensions this high between friends, as a stranger, I’d probably have no luck getting my hands on any decent materials. Guess I was right. I got... quite a... few...”

He couldn’t help but cut himself off as he felt a pair of thin, delicate arms slide around his waist from behind. “Kagome...” he spoke softly as her voice finally reached his ears.

“Stop...” she whispered, “Please, just stop...” She paused to tighten her hold around his frame. “Hearing about it only gives me proof that there’s a world outside these walls. A world that I wish didn’t exist.”

He swallowed hard then, silently thanking the gods that she was behind him and couldn’t see the blush that had spread across his face. Composing himself, he answered her in the same quiet voice she had used, “We can’t stay in this hut forever, Kagome.”

He heard her sniff, trying to clear her nose before she said slowly, “I wish we could. But... we’re here now... together. And I’m glad.”

Inuyasha brought his hands to hers, loosening her grip around his waist, so as to turn around, and took her hands in his, staring at them as he spoke, “It makes me happy... to know that.”

A slight blush tinted her cheeks as he looked up into her eyes, only inches away from his. He smiled softly at her as he leaned forward, gently urging her back onto futon as he placed himself above her. The side of his face came to brush her soft cheek before his lips reached hers in a chaste kiss.

The man pulled away hesitantly, looking down as if to gauge her reaction to his forwardness, but she was only smiling at him. Lifting a hand to cup the side of her face, he brushed his thumb under her eye, feeling the remaining dampness against his skin.

“I’m sorry about this... about all of this,” he said.

Her hand came to rest upon his and he met her eyes, which seemed to speak the same lust that he felt inside. He reached down again, pressing his lips against hers in a slightly more intruding way, exploring every inch of her mouth with his own until his lips strayed from hers, seeking the tender skin of her neck and shoulders.

Her hands moved to the back of his neck, caressing his scalp as she moved slowly to the bases of his ears. Her fingers moved gently around them, bringing him a pleasure that made him thank his father for being canine. The young woman rested the side of her head against his as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, her hands never ceasing the soft massaging to his scalp.

He spoke again, the movement of his lips distinct against her skin, “What makes you stay?”

His words were barely audible, but she heard none the less. She stared thoughtfully at the tangle of silver hair her cheek rested upon, leaving the question to hang in the air for a while until she finally built up the courage to say it, “Why would you ask me that?” There was a pause, and then, “It’s like asking me why I breathe.”

She heard him let out a deep breath, and smiled to herself, knowing his expression at the moment was probably priceless, “I just... need you with me, always. And when you’re not here, I feel like I could die...”

His eyes widened at her sudden confession and his mind fought to figure out how it was so easy for her to simply say it like she had. It was perfect.

“Kagome,” he whispered quietly into her ear, his breath causing a sudden chill to run through her. His calloused hand came up to cup her face as he lifted himself to look into her eyes, her hands releasing his hair as he moved. A soft smile passed over his lips, “I feel the same. And... if you really feel that way,” she nodded as if to answer him, “Then...” Inuyasha looked down then, “we should always be together.”

“Yes,” she smiled, gazing softly at him.

“I’ve never felt this way,” he said slowly as he met her eyes once more, “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life.” He smiled, “I love you.”

He took her hands in his, and she stared at him with an expression he couldn’t read. Passive disbelief. She opened her mouth to say something, but what came out was, “Do you... really mean that?”

His ear twitched, and he tightened his grip on her hands. “Quiet down,” he whispered suddenly.

She froze, her eyes widening as she looked at him. His eyes had gone stern, his gaze resting toward the door. She let out a deep breath and his eyes went to her for a split second before he stood quickly, his eyes locked on the door until he kneeled down to her.

“Kagome...” he whispered slowly, looking straight into her eyes, “Something... or someone is coming.” His eyes went to her chest and he flushed as he reached out a clawed finger, as if he were going to cover her nudity, but hesitated. She took notice, and blushed, taking notice of the only piece of clothing she had on, which just happened to belong to him. She suddenly became conscious of just how exposed she was, and stood up on her knees, wrapping the long haori around her as best she could.

Satisfied, she looked back up at him, only receiving a short nod before he darted to the door. He stood to the side of the doorway for only a moment until he moved in front of it, his hand readying to push the curtain aside. The wind picked up then, a harsh gust blowing the curtain in.

“Dammit all!” was Inuyasha’s flustered response as he took hold of the curtain, pulling it straight off the doorway to toss it on the ground at his side. Kagome cocked her head to the side, curious at his sudden change of attitude. “Gotta make a grand entrance, don’t ya? Get in here!” she heard him call.

His eyes finally met hers as he sighed, “Relax, Kagome.” Turning to the doorway once again, he rolled his eyes, “The great Western Lord has finally taken it upon himself to check up on his only family.”

“Is that tone of yours really necessary?” A deep, stoic voice said from the doorway. Kagome’s eyes turned toward the sound just as a tall man entered, clad in white. “You need to learn not to jump to conclusions. I’ve merely been otherwise occupied in the last few years,” the man said to Inuyasha with a forced pride.