InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity 2: Defiance ❯ Swallowing Pride ( Chapter 38 )

~~Chapter 38~~

~Swallowing Pride~

 

“Why did you come here?” Sierra asked as she stared into the fragrant mug of tea and ignoring the throbbing pain in her knee. She hadn't wanted to come with Sesshoumaru but she also didn't know how to get out of it, either. She'd locked Kirara in her apartment and ignored the urge to hide with the puppy. It wouldn't have done any good, anyway. She knew from experience, exactly what Sesshoumaru Inutaisho was capable of; the memory of his demonstration in her hotel room was too vivid to forget.

 

The only thing that kept her from trying to bolt was the deeper realization that only something quite serious could have brought him this far to seek her out, and despite the strain between them, the nastiness of their first few encounters wasn't there. Sesshoumaru might not be happy about being here but the fact that he was willing to be civil to her had tempered her desire to run away. “Is something wrong with Toga?” she forced herself to ask as she wondered why she kept thinking that there was something terribly, horribly wrong . . . Sierra sighed and waited.

 

Sesshoumaru sat back in the booth, his eyes glinting as he stared across the table. Sierra couldn't quite define the emotion in his gaze, or maybe she just didn't want to. A vague sense of a nameless fear shot through her. Sierra rubbed her arms as she tried to will away the feeling. “You bear the scent of my son,” he observed without answering her question. His tone wasn't unkind though he seemed more reconciled than pleased.

 

Sierra shook her head as she tore a pink packet of sugar substitute open and dumped it into the steaming cup. The soft chime of the silver spoon was comforting and somehow grating at the same time. She set the spoon on the saucer and sipped her tea. “What does that mean?”

 

“Miss Crawford, what has my son told you?”

 

She frowned as she set the cup back on the saucer and idly traced the pattern on the cream lace tablecloth with her index finger. “About what?”

 

Sesshoumaru flicked his wrist, glancing at his watch before tugging his shirt cuff down. “About . . . his heritage.”

 

“He said that you don't want him to be with someone like me,” Sierra admitted as her cheeks reddened, as she lifted her chin defiantly. “Of course, you haven't really tried to pretend that you don't think I'm good enough for him. Why don't you just tell me what you came here for?”

Sesshoumaru nodded as the unnamed emotion in his eyes glowed a little brighter, a little fiercer. “Fair enough. I've come because as much as I might wish it otherwise, Toga . . . needs you.”

 

Sierra swallowed hard. “He doesn't need me,” she answered quietly. “Toga's . . .” she trailed off with a curt shake of her head as the words died out. Just the sound of his name was painful enough. “I don't think he'd have a problem finding someone else.”

 

Sesshoumaru's gaze narrowed, eyes flaring angrily as he leaned forward slightly. “Do you really think it is that simple for him? Or you, for that matter?”

 

She sat up, her own irritation sparking dangerously. Ignoring the warnings, the memories of the last unpleasant encounter, Sierra couldn't control her rising temper. She didn't like what Sesshoumaru was implying. She didn't understand anything at all. His words seemed like a vague threat . . . or a promise . . . . “No, I really don't,” she replied, her tone clipped and prim.

 

“If you care about my son at all, you will come with me.”

 

Little alarm bells started ringing in her head. `Is he nuts? People disappear all the time, never to be heard from again . . . and don't forget, Sie . . . he really hates you, remember?' Sierra winced inwardly and tried to block out of the voice of reason as another flash of Toga's face raced through her mind---eyes closed, skin pale, he seemed almost . . . . “Go with you? Where?”

 

A faint glimmer of sadness passed through Sesshoumaru's gaze before he closed off the emotion, his eyes as cold and calm as they had been just moments before. “To see my son.”

 

She started to shake her head. Sesshoumaru raised a hand to stall her protests. “Before you decline, there is one thing I think you ought to know. What Toga is . . . what I am . . . our blood chooses our life-mate. Once the one has been chosen, there is no looking back. If he were to be separated from the one he has chosen, the consequences . . .” he trailed off, drew a deep breath as his piercing gaze returned to meet hers once more. “The consequences are . . . eternal.”

 

A chilling sense of foreboding crept up Sierra's spine as an irrational fear gripped her, wouldn't let her go. “Are you saying Toga's in trouble?” she forced herself to ask. `It's worse than just being in trouble, isn't it? It's . . . much worse . . . .'

 

Sesshoumaru's jaw twitched as he shifted his gaze out the window at the crowded street, the aimless, wandering people. “I am asking you to come with me.”

 

Sierra covered her mouth with a trembling hand as she tried to make sense of everything Sesshoumaru had said---and everything he hadn't said, too. It seemed like hours ticked away as she told herself that it had to be a really sick joke. In actuality it took her less than a minute to make a choice. The logical part of her scoffed at Sesshoumaru's claims. The other part of her---the part that could still see Toga's face, his pallor . . . .

 

“I have to get my passport,” she said quietly.

 

Sesshoumaru visibly relaxed though he still seemed preoccupied, tense. “Can you be ready to leave within the hour?”

 

Sierra blinked in surprise. She hadn't missed the hint of quiet desperation in his tone, and it finally registered in her mind, just what the emotion in his eyes had been. Sesshoumaru Inutaisho was grieving, like he thought something was inevitable and just didn't want to voice it yet. `Toga . . . what's going on?' With a quick nod, she scooted out of the booth and dug into her pocket for money.

 

Sesshoumaru pulled a small wad of bills out of his pocket and dropped it carelessly on the table. Without another word, Sierra followed him out of the café and down the street toward her apartment building.

 

 

-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-

 

 

The stabbing pain of bright light cut through the darkness with all the finesse of a dull knife. With a smothered gasp, Toga winced as the throbbing ache in his shoulder intensified with the return of coherent thought. His chest felt like it was being ripped wide open, and he tried to comprehend how long he'd been unconscious as he slowly opened his eyes.

 

“Damn, Toga. You look like fucking shit, did you know?”

 

Toga shot his baka cousin as fulminating a glower as he could manage but it rapidly deteriorated into a wince as he tried to sit up and failed with a gasp of pain. “Heaven forbid . . . I should look better than I feel,” he grumbled.

 

“Why'd you do it, Toga?”

 

Toga knew what his cousin was asking. He didn't want to answer. “And just what did I do?”

 

“Don't give me that shit. You know what I'm talking about.”

 

Yes, Toga supposed he did know. He sighed then grimaced as the wounds on his chest felt like they were ripping open all over again. “I'm tired, Ryo.”

 

“And I don't give a shit if you are,” Ryomaru challenged. “Selfish bastard! Damn, you piss me off!”

 

Toga's gaze narrowed as he finally glared at his cousin. “Selfish? What the hell are you talking about? I did what had to be done, didn't I? It's hardly my fault that those damn cat youkai decided to use me as a scratching post. Now how is that selfish?”

 

Ryomaru snorted. “Feh! It's just like you, you stupid bastard! Got every single one of the women in the family bawling their damn eyes out because you're too fucking stupid to leave my job to me!”

 

“I seem to recall you were gone at the time,” Toga pointed out stiffly.

 

“How fucking ignorant are you, Toga?” Ryomaru continued as he shot out of the chair and stalked around the room, his fists opening and closing. Toga knew that if he weren't so weak, his cousin would be laying into him right about now . . . . Had he ever seen Ryo so angry?

 

He sighed. No, no he really didn't think he had . . . . “Hell, you know, the old man always---always---told us that we should be more like you, you stupid bastard! `Think, Ryo! You never think enough! Why can't you be more like Toga? At least he thinks about stuff, even if he is a little too soft!'” Ryomaru whipped around on his heel to pin his cousin with a bitter glare. “You should have stayed here, baka! At least then you wouldn't be---”

 

“Be what?” Toga asked quietly, letting his cousin's rage roll off him.

 

Ryomaru grimaced as he balled his fists tighter. Seconds later, the scent of Ryomaru's blood tingled in Toga's nose. Ryomaru turned and stomped out of the room, slamming the door in his wake.

 

In the sudden quiet, Toga winced as he tried to draw a deep breath. He felt like his chest was wrapped in iron bands that prevented him from drawing adequate breath. A strange dampness accompanied the unsettling feeling, and he tried to figure out why. A vague memory came to mind as he frowned, draping his left arm over his eyes to block out the painful glaring light.

 

“Come on, Toga, it won't hurt you. It's just water.”

 

Toga whined, staring at the pond behind Uncle Yasha's house with a consternated frown as Aunt Gome stood in waist-deep water with her arms stretched out toward him. Six years old was too old to show his fear. He hated water, just despised it. There was no rational thought behind his loathing. He just knew that he did not belong in that pond.

 

“Just think of it as a really big bath,” Kagome coaxed as she stretched her arms toward him a little more.

 

“I don't need to swim,” Toga hedged, digging his toes into the soft grass as he retreated a step. “Papa doesn't swim.”

 

Kagome smiled as the afternoon sunshine reflected off the water and in her eyes. “But your Uncle Yasha does, did you know?”

 

`Uncle Yasha does . . . .'

 

Toga screwed up his face as he stared at the seemingly harmless water. On the one hand, his six year-old brain told him that if Uncle Yasha knew he was being such a baby, he'd be sorely disappointed. On the other hand, the irrational belief that something really terrible was lurking just below the surface of the seemingly idyllic pool nearly brought tears to his eyes.

 

“Okay,” Kagome agreed as she waded toward the shore. “If you don't want to, I won't make you,” she said then stopped, cocking her head to the side as she stared at him thoughtfully. “You sure you don't want to try?”

 

He nodded once as his expression darkened even more. No, the last thing he wanted to do was to step even one toe into that water.

 

Kagome smiled. “All right. Let me go check on the babies, and I'll be right back, okay? We'll play ball or something.”

 

She ruffled his hair as she hurried past him toward the deck and into the house. Toga watched her go with a heavy sigh before he swung his head back around, his gaze troubled as he stared at the sinister pond. Trying to trick him in the still afternoon, it looked nice enough, calm enough. He knew better. He'd heard tales before about youkai who lived underwater. Shippou had told him about a few that Uncle Yasha had fought in the past, like the fake water god . . . Shippou said that the fake god required little boys as sacrifices, and though Toga also realized he wasn't human, he was male, and that counted, didn't it? He knew that some of them waited just out of sight for children to venture in before they struck, and those children were never found again.

 

Still . . . .

 

Uncle Yasha swam in that pond all the time. Toga knew that. Aunt Gome had just been swimming in it, too. Aiko had been in the water before, and she was still alive. Toga wrinkled his nose. It was his considered opinion that Aiko should be fed to the pond youkai. She was a pain, and if it weren't for her telling Uncle Yasha that Toga hated water, he wouldn't be standing on the shore now in dark green swimming trunks that were about three sizes too big.

 

Toga made a face as she skirted around the pond and clamored onto a large, flat boulder that extended out over the water. Hunkering down as near as he dared to the edge, he leaned forward to stare into the green-hued water and sniffed as his frown deepened. He didn't smell a pond-youkai . . . .

 

Leaning in further, Toga scowled as he stared at his reflection in the water. Kanaye ran out of the back door. Toga could smell the dog's approach but didn't turn to look. With a happy bark of greeting, the gangly mutt lumbered forward.

 

He should have realized that Kanaye, who normally stayed in the house to watch over the twins while Kagome played outside with Toga, would want to issue his normal tackle-greeting. He was too preoccupied with inspecting the water for the ever-elusive pond-youkai.

 

Toga was completely unprepared when Kanaye launched himself at him. With a loud squeal, six year-old Toga pitched head first into the water. Flailing his arms as panic surged inside him, he kicked his legs wildly. Feet touching the sand as something clingy seemed to wrap around his foot, he tried to scream again but choked as water rushed into his mouth and nose. His lungs burned, his eyes and ears stung as he kicked frantically to untangle his foot. His head broke the water's surface, and he tried to gulp air, tried to yell once more but he was dragged down again.

 

Arms locked around him---strong arms that tried to pull at his body. Toga scratched, clawed, tried to fight away the pond-youkai as he tried to scream again. The arms pulled him up out of the water. His shriek gurgled in the recesses of his lungs as the scent of fresh blood infiltrated his mind.

 

“Toga! Stop!”

 

“N-n-no!” he screamed. “You can't e-e-eat me!”

 

“Eat you? Toga, damn it, knock it off!”

 

And the voice suddenly registered in Toga's frantic mind. His body went limp as his head fell back, frightened, wild eyes locking with ones he knew. It wasn't a pond-youkai set on eating him, after all. “U-uncle? Uncle Yasha?”

 

The expression on InuYasha's face was a mixture of concern and irritation and . . . fear? He glowered at Toga for a few moments before crushing him against his chest in a tight hug. “You're all right,” the hanyou assured him.

 

Toga wheezed in an effort to breathe. The water in his lungs made it impossible as moisture filled his eyes. “I-I'm not c-crying,” he squeaked, his voice muffled by his uncle's embrace.

 

InuYasha cleared his throat as he waded toward shore, and when he spoke, his voice was gruff, choked. “Yeah, pup. I know you're not.”

 

Toga winced as the memory faded. `That's what it feels like,' he mused as he tried to breathe again. `I feel like . . . I'm drowning . . . .'

 

Waves of sleepiness washed over him, and Toga felt the comforting tendrils of unconscious curl around him. Pale green eyes smiled at him in the darkness of his mind. Toga tried to smile but the movement seemed just beyond his ability. `Sierra . . . .'

 

 

-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-

 

 

`Sierra . . . .'

 

Sierra dropped the tea cup she'd just been handed. It shattered on the floor as the hot liquid splashed her jean-clad legs. She'd heard Toga's voice as clearly as she would if he was right beside her.

 

Sesshoumaru let the edge of the newspaper he had been reading fold over as he glanced curiously at Sierra as the one stewardess he employed hurried over to clean up the mess. “I can get that,” Sierra said as she unbuckled her seatbelt and started to stand.

 

The stewardess waved her hand and smiled. “No trouble,” she said with a friendly smile as she carefully gathered the pieces of broken china.

 

Sierra sat back down and rubbed her arms. The air in the plane's cabin was cold, and she hadn't thought to bring a sweater with her.

 

“Miaka, Miss Crawford appears to be chilled,” Sesshoumaru remarked as he turned his attention back to the newspaper again. He didn't speak again until after the stewardess disappeared through the door that closed off the back portion of the plane. “My apologies. I forgot that humans feel such things more acutely than youkai do.”

 

Sierra looked up when the vent above her head suddenly started blowing out warm air. “Thanks.”

 

Sesshoumaru nodded but remained silent as he disappeared behind the newspaper once more.

 

She stared at him with a thoughtful frown. She felt mentally exhausted but her body couldn't relax enough to sleep. Too many questions kept rolling around her mind, and so far, she hadn't gotten any answers from Sesshoumaru at all.

 

He hadn't told her exactly why he had come all the way to Chicago to see her. She knew that it had something to do with Toga. She could feel that it had something to do with Toga. Why did she know in her heart that there was something horribly wrong?

 

“What's wrong with Toga?” she asked softly, almost without thinking. She didn't know if she expected him to answer or not. His silence on the subject was unsettling. He stiffened, his hands tightening on the newspaper, and he seemed to be thinking about what, if anything, he would tell her as he slowly lowered the paper once more.

 

His cold eyes narrowed as he stared at her, his emotions hidden behind his predatory stare. Sierra briefly considered recanting her question but another set of amber eyes flashed through her mind, and they were eyes she knew, eyes she loved.

 

“What makes you think that something is wrong with my son?” Sesshoumaru asked instead.

 

Sierra shrugged, hoping he couldn't see her fear, her worry that there really was something wrong; that only the direst situation would have brought Sesshoumaru Inutaisho so far to see her, to ask her to come with him. “Isn't that why you came?”

 

Sesshoumaru inclined his head in a curt nod. “Surely you're not so simple that you cannot tell, yourself? It should come to you as intuition.”

 

`Intuition?' Sierra frowned. “How would I know? I haven't spoken to him since he left, and---”

 

“And you feel nothing? You cannot sense my son's emotions? And yet you bear his scent?”

 

Sierra shook her head. “I don't understand . . . .”

 

“You will, Miss Crawford,” Sesshoumaru assured her with a bored sigh. “I'll leave it for my son to explain . . . since he's made such a mess of it, thus far.”

 

Sierra's frown deepened as she turned her attention out the window, staring out over the wide expanse of ocean. Nothing made any sense at all. She only hoped that whatever Sesshoumaru wouldn't say would make sense to her later.

 

 

~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~ *~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~

A/N:

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Reviewers

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blzzrd53 (MMorg) :
Way to kill Sierra with shock, Fluffy.... I don't understand how you can stand to put your characters through such angst and agony. I love reading it but it seems like it would be hard on you to write it. Does writing stories like this ever "get to you" or do you keep it strictly separated from the world in your mind?

 

I can't separate my own feelings from my writing. I am just very good at `getting over it' though it sometimes takes me a little longer than others. Oddly enough, I find writing action scenes much more difficult than, say, angst or even lemons.

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MMorg

cj flutterbye ------ OrionLady(backwards) (it was a bit shorter but everything was there) ------ DawnIllusion ------ Washuu Ogami ------ Aitu ------ Iggy Lovechild ------ Lena17 ------ DarklessVasion ------ hopuchan ------ notzathros ------ Sharibet ------ Jason C (I update when I get a chapter done. Some days are better than others. I've had a lot of things to do of late, and I want the chapters to be worth reading.) ------ angel0fs0rr0w666

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FFnet

xSilverShadowsx (I imagine she'll say so eventually. She hasn't really had a chance yet) ------ SilverStarWing ------ Drake Clawfang ------ Rinicat ------ myeerah ------ Ryguy5387 ------ WiccanMethuselah (Innocently blinking) ------ Toya's Girl (Dogs do, yes. Sesshoumaru is, after all, `The Dog General') ------ Flames101 ------ Eleature ------ wlfhund ------ btrains126 ------ Kenshin's Gal ------ ILOVEINUS

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AFFnet ------ AScom ------ ATnet

Catt ------ Shiga ------ Snowfall ------ akdreamer ------ inugrl15 ------ Ox King ------ Sess_2005 ------ Mel (Ohhhh probably …) ------ Fruitcake ------ obsesed_wit_fluffy ------ Colshalin ------ Midnight_Sparrow ------ Deep Serenity

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Final Thought from Ryomaru:

… Dumb ass bastard …

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Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Defiance): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

 

~Sue~