InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shrine Prostitute ❯ Causation ( Chapter 27 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Shrine Prostitute by FlameTwirler

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A/N: My apologies about the state of this chapter for the last month. Apparently when the mediaminer servers crashed it also gutted any new information posted up in the last week or so. This chapter was deleted (though it still showed it present with a placeholder, so everyone just saw a blank chapter) and it deleted all the reviews as well. I’m very sorry about the last part as I really enjoy the reviews, there were some really nice lengthy ones with some good crit in them, and I don’t even get to retain them in my inbox since mm just emails the links and not the reviews themselves. Le sigh. Even after the servers were supposedly back up I couldn’t sign in and this is the first time since the crash I’ve been able to do so successfully, so fingers crossed…

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Chapter 27: Causation
-----the relation of cause to effect
-----anything that produces an effect
-----the act or agency by which an effect is produced

~ ~ ~

Kagome breathed in deeply as she descended the stairs outside her shrine. She loved everyone at home, she really did, but with so many people there all the time it could be somewhat overwhelming. Between her family, Shinichi, Shiori, Josef and the others she occasionally taught, and the assortment of other visitors, she was glad for the excuse to leave for a bit.

Josef had forgotten his workbook at home and, since it was much easier for a ningen to travel – alone or otherwise – than a hanyou, she’d opted to go retrieve it instead. Despite the appealing idea of a few moments solitude, she normally would’ve chosen to just have him bring it the next time they met, rather than take time away from the class at large, but he’d been so disheartened at the idea of not being able to show all he’d accomplished. When she’d looked at the faces of the others they’d seemed to share the sentiment, feeling sympathy instead of irritation, so she’d caved.

She just hoped Jinenji could keep them entertained in the meantime.

Still, just because it was safer for her to go through the youkai sector, that didn’t mean it was without its hazards. Yes, the residents had gotten used to her presence over the last year and, for the most part, ignored her as beneath their notice, but she still made her way through the streets cautiously, halting before she turned a corner as she heard bickering voices. With a huff she leaned back against the wall; there wasn’t any way she could feasibly go around them, as the crazy mishmash of streets in this sector more often than not came to abrupt dead ends, and she wasn’t nearly reckless enough to brave walking by a brawl between youkai. Unfortunately her best option was to just stay out of sight and wait it out.

To ease her boredom while she was stuck just standing there, she decided to listen in to the argument. With as loud as they were it wasn’t like she could avoid it; besides, it paid to know exactly what was happening around you in these types of situations. After a couple minutes of listening, though, something seemed…off. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but a few moments later it clicked. The voices were entirely too high. She wasn’t listening to an adult argument but an old-fashioned childhood bullying.

Well, that she could deal with, or at least breeze by if they all had claws out. Just because they were young didn’t mean they would be smaller than her. Still, she wasn’t an older-sister and pseudo-teacher for nothing.

She peeked her head around the corner, saw nothing, and realized the fight must be further away than she’d realized. The kids really mustn’t care who heard them then, if they were being loud enough to carry so far. Shaking her head she made her way carefully down the street, her eyes darting back and forth, checking for the sign of any movement.

She finally saw them in a small back walkway between two abutting houses. They seemed engrossed in their conflict so she’d be able to pass by easily enough without attracting their attention, and she’d intended to do just that until she got a better look at what was happening, her head snapping back to the scene as she stared in slight disbelief.

Was that…a pink balloon they were shouting at?

She had to wonder at the sanity of the young youkai, engaged as they were, fists shaking at the bulbous form floating above them. Curiosity piqued, she continued to take in the scene, confused as to what could cause such behavior, when she had to stifle a shriek when she noticed the balloon had eyes. Soon she was able to pick out the mouth and limbs, but her brain almost refused to believe it, insisting it must simply be elaborately decorated.

Then the thing blinked and all hope of retaining her balance in the situation fled, leaving her wondering what type of youkai – or any other creature – it could be. After all, weren’t all youkai related to at least one animal form? But what on earth could this one be? All she could do, as she continued to stare in mute disbelief, was wonder if new youkai sprang up from the existence of new creations, and could there be such a thing as bubble gum youkai? Or perhaps a spirit that had found no better item to take possession of than a simple, flimsy balloon?

Her attention was pulled back at the new invectives being hurled up at…it, the thing, whatever it was, and she sized up the bullies. Neither of them could’ve been older than six or seven, at least had they been human, but being youkai she had no idea what their relative ages were. Then she was able to focus in on the words to their taunts, everything from his lack of skills to his parentage – although that finally cleared up that he was, indeed, youkai.

As the victim struggled to refute their claims he suddenly burst with an audible pop, making Kagome gasp as she wondered if the stress could truly cause a youkai to explode like that, and it was with relief she was a small figure drop from the sky and land softly on the pavement. She only got the briefest glance, though, as the two larger boys towered over the other, shoves and punches added to the jibes and verbal assault.

At that point she could bear it no longer; bullying was bullying and there was no way now she could let it go. Squaring her shoulders she reminded herself she had to do it for the sake of the two bullies as well. After all, she couldn’t let those boys get away with this and grow up thinking it was all right to do such things. They’d turn into horrible adults with no relationship skills and very unhappy lives.

Her intentions bolstering her courage – and irritation – she walked onto the scene and made her presence known.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?” she said in her best authoritative voice. All three boys froze instantly, lending credit to her years of using said voice in that they reacted before even realizing she was human. Once they did realize, though, it was a whole different story.

The first one sniffed derisively at her before responding, “Youkai business and none of yours. Leave us alone, hag.”

Kagome bristled but refused to rise to the bait. “Considering you’re yelling loud enough for the next three streets to hear, I think that makes it everyone’s business. Aren’t youkai supposed to learn stealth and subtlety?” She didn’t wait for a response. “Youkai are also supposed to be strong and powerful, and picking on those smaller than you, especially in numbers, is the action of a coward. You two boys aren’t cowards, are you?”

They gawked at her, or rather over her head, and she felt the swell of youki wash over her even as she relaxed instantly in its presence. “You two should run along now,” Yami said in a deeply menacing tone that Kagome realized she’d never heard, even at their initial meeting. They scrambled away instantly and Kagome dismissed them just as quickly, turning to her newly arrived friend.

“How did you know I’d be here? I’m nowhere near close enough to your house for you to have sensed me yet.” Boar youkai weren’t the most sensitive of species, and apparently the jumble of so many other bodies around – especially other youkai with their youki confusing the air – made it more difficult for him to pick out particular individuals. “Don’t tell me you just happened to be wandering in the area…” she said with a face full of skeptical wonder.

Yami snorted. “I don’t live in the dark ages, Kagome. Your mother called to let me know you were on your way and to make sure you arrived safely.”

She ducked her head, embarrassed. Really, she should’ve thought to do that herself.

“And while I commend your bravery,” he continued, “I wouldn’t advise you to attempt to break up any more fights. Even though they’re young they could do you great harm if they so wished.”

Sighing, Kagome nodded her head in agreement, even as she knew she wouldn’t necessarily heed the warning, then spun quickly as she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. Apparently the little bullying victim hadn’t fled with the others. To her amazement he marched right up to her, stared her straight in the eye, puffed up his chest, and declared, “I’m not small.”

She quickly did a mental scan of everything she’d said recently, realized why he was telling her that, and smiled as she squatted so she could see him more easily. “Of course you aren’t,” she said happily. “But if I accused them of picking on someone twice as talented and smart as they were then that wouldn’t seem very cowardly now, would it?”

He looked up at her with large, intelligent green eyes, somewhat skeptically of course, and she was glad she hadn’t said anything further about his size. Truth be told she didn’t know if he was small for his age or species anyhow, so who was she to say? His tail twitched nervously before it seemed he finally reached his decision and smiled widely up at her. “I am pretty talented, aren’t I?”

She smiled back down at him, bemused by the mischief she saw suddenly alight in his eyes. He leaned in conspiratorially. “I was just about to use my mushrooms on them, too.”

“Mushrooms?”

He held out a fist and she automatically held out her hand to take whatever he was offering, and suddenly the one little mushroom dropped into her hand had turned into a hundred, all giving out their own piercing little cries. Yami clapped his hands over his ears. “Turn that racket off, will you?”

She watched the little boy war between irritation at the request and the gratitude that came from the knowledge that Yami had really been the one to save them, and though she was sure he might’ve stuck his tongue out had Yami not been looking, instead he dissipated the mass and stuck the original back in his pocket. As the boy’s shoulders hunched, though, Yami chuckled.

“If you’ve got such good tricks up your sleeve, why’d you wait until they got you cornered? You need to use them earlier so you can elude them and avoid these situations altogether.”

The boy chanced a glance at Kagome but didn’t look any higher. “Ah,” Yami said, though what he understood by that she wasn’t sure. “They snuck up on you then, did they?”

Shippo balked. “Of course not, I’m strong and powerful, like she said, so there’s no way they’d catch me off guard.”

Yami just snorted again and Kagome wondered if she was missing something, or if this was either a youkai thing or a male thing. Didn’t seem like a ‘snorting’ kind of time to her.

“Then you come find me sometime and I’ll teach you some new tricks, all right?”

Hope bloomed in the boy’s eyes. “Really? You’d really teach me some stuff?” He was nearly bouncing now and Kagome noticed his feet for the first time. A kitsune - that’s what he was, she realized with a small amount of chagrin. She’d been trying to study up on youkai culture, so as to better understand and acquaint herself with the various youkai and hanyou she met, so really she should’ve realized sooner. On the other hand, she never would’ve guessed they could have such a… unique form either though.

“Sure,” Yami confirmed in that gruff voice of his. “First we’ve got to get you home though so no one worries about you.”

The boy instantly froze, backpedaling as quickly as he could. “I don’t have a home, I’m not going anywhere.”

The pause lasted a few seconds and when Kagome realized Yami didn’t know exactly what to say to that she jumped in. “You know, we haven’t officially met yet. My name is Kagome.” She extended her hand in a non-traditional greeting but preferred to have a physical grasp on the boy so he couldn’t make a break for it.

He looked at her hand suspiciously, wondering what trick there might be to it, but finally took it. “I’m Shippo.”

“Well Shippo, it’s nice to meet you.” She grinned warmly, let the moment pass, then continued on. “Why don’t you have a home?”

He sniffed before answering, “My parents died,” and the glare he sent them afterward dared them to make an issue of it. From the look she gathered some others already had. The taunts about his parents suddenly hit home in an entirely new way.

“I’m very sorry,” she said. “Is there anyone you’ve been staying with? Any friends or family?”

His eyes shifted from side to side, his tension palpable. “Yes, no, kinda.”

Kagome looked at him expectantly.

“I was staying at a home for a little while but I ran away. I don’t go there anymore.”

“Why not?”

They lived there too.”

Ah, well depending on what kind of home that had been – and she guessed one or two overworked caretakers for a group of orphaned or troubled young youkai – that might explain the type of bullying.

“I’m not going back there,” Shippo continued. “If you try to make me I’ll run away again. I can live on my own just fine. And he said he’d teach me stuff,” he pointed at Yami, “so I’ll be able to do even better. I’m not going back there.”

He’d begun tugging at his hand and Kagome immediately rushed to reassure him. “Okay, all right, we’re not trying to take you there.” She looked to Yami for help but he just shrugged. He didn’t know what to do either.

She bit her lip. “Look, um, if you want, you could come with me for today,” she suggested somewhat hesitantly.

“Really?!” he shouted in excitement. “You mean it, really? Okay, I’ll go, I’ll go. Is it a nice place? Are there more people like you? Are there ningen or youkai? What’s it like?” He was bouncing around again and Kagome had to forcibly restrain him to get him to listen.

“First there’s something you have to understand, okay?” She waited until she had his complete and undivided attention before continuing. “I live with hanyou. If you have a problem with that then let me know now and we’ll figure something else out. I will not tolerate any disrespect toward them at all, do you understand?”

He nodded vigorously even as Yami interrupted. “Are you sure this is wise, Kagome? Perhaps I should take him to my house instead. It would be a more…suitable environment.”

Kagome hesitated, glancing back and forth between the two. Shippo opened his mouth several times to say something, he didn’t like others trying to dictate what he was going to do after all, but since they’d both had a hand in helping him out he wasn’t sure which to side with. Kagome noticed his confusion so she took her time trying to think things through logically.

It might be easier to go with Yami’s suggestion, let him shelter the kit for the day. Then again, it seemed that ever since meeting Inuyasha she was incapable of taking the easy way out. Besides, as she looked at Shippo, his eyes gleaming up at her, her heart melted. He was adorable.

As she slowly came to her decision, she shook her head. “No. You keep talking about how your wife is coming around more and more, slowly becoming accustomed to Josef’s presence in your lives. I highly doubt that dumping another strange kid on her is going to help matters at all. No, it’ll be fine. I can take him to the shrine with me for today and you can help me find another place for him that’s more suitable than the home he was just at.

“Is that all right with you, Shippo?” she asked, turning to him.

“Yay!” he shouted, jumping on her in his excitement.

“Whoa, kiddo!” Yami yelled, calming when he realized Shippo was just hugging her – albeit rather enthusiastically. Both Kagome and the kit turned to him at his outburst and he chuckled. “You may be small kid,” he smiled as Shippo bristled, “but remember you’re youkai and she’s ningen. They’re fragile and you need to take care, especially since you’re young and don’t have complete control over your strength and powers.”

“I know that! I’m careful! Why would I want to hurt Kagome?” He crossed his arms and glowered from his perch on Kagome’s shoulder, but Yami could see from the irritation in the kit’s eyes that he’d gotten the message. He just shrugged before turning to Kagome again.

“This what you needed?” he asked, holding out the forgotten book and binder.

Kagome chuckled. “Yup, that’s what Josef was so excited about. I can understand, though, wanting to show off his work in the one group he gets to be a part of.” She grabbed for the items, quirking a brow when Yami didn’t let go.

“I’ll walk you back.”

She smiled up at him, glad for the company – especially now that she had Shippo with her. It should make the transition and the introductions slightly easier to have another youkai with her. “You’ll have to stay for dinner then.”

“You know I’m not one to ever turn down a free meal,” he said, grinning widely enough for the bases of his tusks to show, an ever present reminder of his more primal roots. Kagome felt Shippo still, just fractionally, as he gauged the appearance and power of the older youkai.

“Well, shall we be off then?” she enthused.

They talked of nothing of much importance on the way, except for when Shippo asked questions about the Sunset Shrine. His inquisitiveness was marked in the lack of questions about the hanyou, or why they were at her home. Kagome wasn’t sure whether this was due to ignorance – as had been her case, being more curious about other matters, or whether he had that inborn prejudice that most people – ningen and youkai alike – seemed to have. From the way he acted she guessed, or at least hoped, the former, especially since he was going to be spending the day with them. After all, since she was sheltering them she did owe her allegiance to the hanyou first, and if there was trouble she’d be obliged to send Shippo home with Yami. She hoped it wouldn’t come to that, though; she rather liked the little kit and thought his exuberance would be a much needed breath of fresh air in the shrine.

Still, she’d only see when they arrived, so she babbled excitedly with Shippo along the way about other things. She only grew quiet when they drew near her home and she glanced up at all the ‘for sale’ signs on her neighbors’ homes. Shippo noticed the change, the slowing of her pace, and tugged on her shirt sleeve. “Did you just move in to one of these houses?” he asked, obviously confused.

She shook her head slowly. “No, I live at the shrine, remember?” She pointed up the street. “You can see the stairs and the torii from here. My family has lived there for generations – centuries if you ask jii-chan.”

The houses bore too much aging, obvious to human eyes and likely even more so to youkai, to be considered as new construction. “So they’re just all leaving?”

Kagome nodded mutely.

“Why?” he persisted.

She shrugged with a forced nonchalance that convinced neither of her companions. “Hanyou.”

Shippo was quiet a moment with that information. “Well, they do smell funny.”

Yami glared at him, nodding in Kagome’s direction.

“What?” he cried defensively. “They do!”

Kagome said nothing to this, though she felt Shippo’s searching eyes on her.

“This is a ningen neighborhood,” Yami reminded the kit.

“But-”

Yami knew his question before he finished asking it. “Any residual youkai presence you smell is just from those who traipse back and forth to Kagome’s home – like myself.”

“So,” Shippo chanced a quick glance at Kagome, “humans don’t like hanyou either?”

“Even less so, since they also fear them.”

Shippo looked up at the human next to him, bewilderment writ across his face. She sighed but she was smiling when she leaned down to pick him up. “Hanyou are people too, just like you and me. You’ll see when we’re inside.”

Then, taking one last look at the empty houses around them, she started walking again.

~ ~ ~

Shippo’s introduction to the others went better than she could have imagined. If he had any hatred toward ‘half-breeds’ it didn’t show, the only indication of his prejudice being his assertion of his senses being superior to theirs. Even that, though, only arose when they were having a debate about how far away a particular scent was likely to be emanating from, and Kagome didn’t quite know how to fault him for something that in all likelihood was true.

Those gathered for class were skittish at first, unsurprising given their general interactions with most youkai, but either their curiousness, their being around the few friendly youkai that loitered around the shrine, or their awe of Shippo’s tricks quickly overcame it.

She smiled at their reactions to his turning into a big pink balloon again, their eyes becoming wider when he almost knocked over a cabinet. When he returned to his original shape and scratched his head sheepishly, their laughter was music to her ears. The only one who remained apart from the fuss was Shinichi, but she attributed that more to his upbringing than any standoffishness, and hoped that time would cure him of that.

Given their state of distraction she knew there was no hope of getting them to settle back down anytime soon, so with a chuckle and a shake of her head, Kagome slipped from the room. With as excited as they all were, she was sure they wouldn’t be able to resume studies anytime soon. Besides, they’d have more fun and hopefully bond a bit better without her.

Not knowing where else to go she went out into the backyard, staring at the grounds around her. She tried to shrug off the wistfulness that descended on her but it did no good, so instead she took to wandering through the trees and contemplating what could be. After all, Shippo’s appearance was proof that things could get better, wasn’t it?

“Kagome?”

She was surprised the voice didn’t startle her, but then she realized she’d been aware of his presence for a little while now. It seemed she was getting better at sensing people, or at least youkai. Maybe there was a bit of a miko in her, after all.

Smiling, she turned back to her friend. “Yami, I thought you’d left already. It wasn’t even your day to bring Josef and I made you trek all the way over here anyhow.”

He sighed heavily. “Yes, it’s such a hardship, having to come over here and see him actually enjoying himself. And of course there’s no decent company for me to have either.” He sniffed and Kagome gaped.

“When did you grow a sense of humor?”

He grinned at her then, toothily, which – with the tusks and all – still made the bumps on her arms rise. “So then,” he said, changing tack, “why are you in such a mood today?”

“Hm? What are you talking about?”

“You seem a bit…I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Somber?” he tried. “Does it have anything to do with this?” Waving a hand in front of them, he gestured to the empty home that could be seen between the trees. Kagome hadn’t even realized her feet had taken her to the edge of her family’s property.

“W-why would you think that?” she bluffed unconvincingly.

“I’m sure you have plenty of other things on your mind as well, and it could just be coincidence that you zoned out here of all places, but then there was your odd pause when we were bringing Shippo here earlier as well. It bothers you, doesn’t it, their leaving?”

“Of course it does!” she huffed. “How could it not? But it’s not like it’s unexpected. Frankly, in all honesty, it’s probably a good thing that those who are so intolerant are leaving. It’s hardly the environment I’d want to expose these kids to, and it’d be much more encouraging for all of us if anyone else moved in.”

Though the only ones who would be willing to move in would not only have to be comfortable around hanyou, but completely trusting of them as neighbors. The chances of such a tenant coming along, let alone enough to fill all the empty houses springing up in the row, was unlikely enough that neither of them voiced it.

“How many of the closest homes have been vacated? All of them?”

“Nearly. There are a couple hold outs, some who hope that we’ll have to stop for one reason or another, and one crotchety old man who says it’s his home and no one can force him out.”

“You’re smiling.”

“Huh? Well, yeah, I guess I am. Don’t tell anyone,” she leaned in conspiratorially, “but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t mind at all what we’re doing, he’s just not willing to come out and say it. At least, not yet. Still, it’s something.”

“That’s more than something.”

She nodded and went back to staring at the building.

“There’s something else though, isn’t there?”

She stifled a wince at that but didn’t respond in any other way.

“What are you thinking, Kagome?” He had that dangerous tone to his voice that said he was determined to discover what she was about. She was sure she’d be able to wriggle out of it if really necessary, but in truth she found she might actually appreciate having someone to voice the idea to, even if it was nothing more than a dream.

“That building, it’s just right there, isn’t it.”

She stopped, as if that was enough to indicate her line of thinking. For Yami it wasn’t. “Yes. And?”

“Not fifty feet from the shrine’s property line.”

Suddenly he understood. “You want to buy it?”

She whirled on him, face alight. “Couldn’t you just imagine it? Instead of all these empty houses around, depressing everyone, we could fill them up. We could remodel or rebuild as necessary, based on what we needed. We could have a school house, a dorm, a permanent place to stay for those hanyou who don’t have anyone at home for them. We could even build the properties up from the street, like the shrine is, so it would be more secluded. You know there are plenty more hanyou out there that we know nothing about, so many like Shinichi, whose families would prefer they never returned. If we didn’t have to send them back into that environment, wouldn’t it be great? I mean, I don’t think we’d ever be able to turn anyone away who really needed help, but our resources and space only go so far, you know?”

Yami was silent a moment before saying, “You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?”

A negligent shrug was his answer but her face was burning.

“So why don’t you do it?”

Kagome laughed sadly. “You know how this all started? The reason I learned of hanyou, learned of their situation, was because I met Inuyasha; I met him simply because I was supposed to go and worship, hoping to increase our financial standings. I wasn’t even supposed to go there for another three years but the situation with our shrine was dire enough that we needed the favor of the kami. Our visitors did increase for a while, but then when I started bringing everyone here they dropped off drastically again. We’re not exactly in any position to be buying up plots of land.”

Yami snorted. “Is that all?”

Her jaw dropped. “What do you mean, ‘is that all?’ Economics 101: it’s a bit hard to buy things when you don’t have the money for them.”

He leaned down, into her face. “And what do you think of the families of all those inside there?” He pointed to her home. “You think there aren’t those of us who would support such an idea? Who would help you regardless of what the idea was, just because of what you’re doing for our kids? And for those like Shinichi, just think what his family would pay to be rid of him.”

Kagome inhaled sharply. “You really think I could take money from someone like that?”

“I think it’s a matter of pragmatics and principles. Do you think he’d be happier living here with you permanently?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Then in essence you’re fostering him, or at the very least it’s the same as a full-time boarding school. Payment is normal in those situations, otherwise how can you provide for the child?”

She softened slightly. “Well, I guess I can maybe see your point. Still feels awkward though.”

Yami sighed. He was just glad he hadn’t mentioned using blackmail against those who would be hold outs and declare neither did they want the child back, nor did they plan on paying for the child’s upbringing, regardless of their duty or honor. Well, maybe he’d have to do some planning of his own and keep Kagome out of the loop on those negotiations.

“Really, Kagome,” his hand landed on top of her head, “frankly I’m appalled you didn’t think of us in the first place. You really believe that none of us would be willing to support you in this? That we’re not already involved? That we’re all so unreliable and expect you to do everything on your own?”

She shrank into her shoulders and her cheeks turned red, letting him know she’d never even considered asking anyone else for money.

He laughed. “Okay, well I’ll forgive you this time. Remember this for the future though, all right? After all, these are our kids, and some of us even love them like they are. I think it’s fair to say some of us are even more invested in this than you are.”

“Wh-what?! I didn’t mean-”

Yami just guffawed and started leading her back toward the house. “Well, it’s better to see you squawking than whatever mood it was you had when I walked up.”

Kagome just crossed her arms and mock-glowered.

“Besides, I’ll have you know most youkai are pretty well off. Unless they’re complete nitwits with money, most have lived long enough to amass a decent enough amount. So I think that, between all of us, we should be able to get a couple of the properties at least.”

He paused when he noticed she wasn’t keeping up anymore, then turned to find her a few paces behind. “Kagome?”

Her head was ducked so he couldn’t see her face. “You know, I never intended anything like this when I brought up this idea. I’d just wanted to clear my mind, so to speak. I kinda feel like I forced this on you.”

Yami snorted. “Were you listening at all to what I was telling you? This is a good idea and I, for one, will be glad to help you out, and as for the rest-”

“I know!” she assured him, cutting him off. “I know. I just wanted to say…thank you.”

Shaking his head he walked back to her. He wasn’t going to get into a debate about how they all owed her thanks for believing in all these kids – well, hanyou of all ages really since Jinenji wasn’t exactly a child. Or how it would be expected of the parents and families to help out in the given situation, among many others. If that was what she needed to do to feel comfortable with the circumstances, then so be it.

“Come on, let’s get inside and see what kind of ruckus that little Shippo has started, all right?”

“Yeah.”

~ ~ ~

Kagome walked down the street the next bright, sunny morning, shoulders slightly hunched from the guilt plaguing her. After all Houjo’s effort and kindness – not to mention his parents’ – in letting her help out and practice in the Tanaka family clinic, she’d been going so infrequently these last couple months. Granted, she was busy with both schools and ever more so now that she’d formed an official sort of group for the hanyou at her home, but that was no excuse for the way she’d repaid their generosity.

Still, exhausted as she was – she’d had so many things to catch up on once she got back and she’d only returned from the Bacana Shrine a few days ago – she knew she owed them a visit and an explanation. What she found when she arrived, though, was complete and utter chaos; the waiting room was jammed full of sick and hurting bodies.

Instantly energized when she saw all the people needing to be helped, she didn’t even bother to ask before she pushed up her sleeves and ushered the next patient to an exam room. The pace was hectic and there was more than one problem patient that gave them grief, but as they finally locked the doors for closing Kagome felt deeply satisfied. Wiping her brow she smiled at Houjo’s mother, quirking an eyebrow when she gestured her into one of the private exam rooms and shut the door behind them.

Well at least now she’d finally get to apologize properly. “Has it been this busy a lot lately?”

“It’s almost always like this. It happens when there are only two or three people to help out.”

Kagome winced. “I’m sorry I haven’t been coming much. I know it was a favor to let me help out and I’m sorry that I’ve let you down.” She was feeling worse by the second. “I’ve just been so busy…” she finished lamely.

Mrs. Tanaka sighed. “I know, and that’s why I can forgive it of you. If you’d not come because you were playing around that’d be inexcusable, but we all know what you’re spending your time doing.”

Kagome relaxed just a bit…

“I do wish you’d realized and told us sooner, though.”

…and grimaced again.

“Really, you’ve been invaluable to us, much greater help than we’d expected – or even realized we needed – when you came on board. So if you’re not going to be available much then we’ll be looking into getting someone else in here.” She didn’t mention that they’d already been making inquiries.

“Wait – ‘not much’? You mean you’d still let me help out sometimes even though I’ve been so unreliable?”

“Not unreliable so much as lacking in commitment. When you’re here no one questions how hard you work, how much you help out, and how much the patients like you. However, I’m assuming from what you haven’t said that the status quo is going to remain and you’ll not be starting to come in more often again?”

Kagome nodded sheepishly.

“Then we will need to get someone more consistent in here, but Houjo also told us when we brought you on that it was for your sake as much as ours. You need the experience, the knowledge that only comes through practice, and while coming around only every now and again won’t ingrain too much on you, it’s better than nothing – from both our perspectives.”

Kagome stood stunned. “T-thanks,” she stuttered her appreciation. “That’s so much more than I expected. You truly are too kind.”

“I know,” she said airily, making Kagome chortle. The mood broken she smirked as she looked at Kagome from the corner of her eye, haughty mask still in place.

Mrs. Tanaka turned and smiled at her again, one full of much more care and sympathy than Kagome could account for. “Now then, with that handled I think it’s about time you sat down.” She patted the exam table.

Kagome shot her a quizzical glance but did as she was instructed, her bemusement increasing when Mrs. Tanaka pulled on a pair of gloves.

“Open wide and say ‘ahh’.”

Unable to get a word in before the tongue depressor was thrust in her mouth, Kagome bided her time rather impatiently until it was removed. “What’s this about? I did my annual physical with you about six months ago.”

“You don’t look so well.”

Startled at first, Kagome then muttered a mutinous, “Gee, thanks.”

“No, I mean it,” she replied in complete seriousness. “You’re pale, your eyes are a bit sunken and have rings around them, and you’ve been dragging all day.”

“I’m just tired!” Kagome protested.

Mrs. Tanaka nodded. “That’s likely all it is, but I’m a medic and there’s no way I’m letting you get away until I know for sure.”

Resigned – and somewhat touched – Kagome sat through the rest of her checking and prodding. Finally Mrs. Tanaka looked up.

“Everything looks okay but I’m still going to run some blood work. Even if it’s just a vitamin deficiency it’ll be good to know and adjust your diet accordingly so you don’t continue to become even more drained.”

After drawing the blood she paused, examining her face critically, and Kagome felt a prickling of unease. “Could you be pregnant?”

“What? No!” Kagome cried reflexively.

“Oh, so you haven’t been with anybody in the last couple months?” she asked sardonically.

“Well, yes, but…” Her mind was reeling.

“Did you use any contraception?”

The younger woman nodded. “I’m on birth control.” But she already saw where this was heading.

“Kagome, you and I both know that contraceptives are only ninety-nine percent effective.”

Her words seemed to hang in the air for an interminable amount of time.

Mrs. Tanaka handed her a cup. “You know what to do. We’ll have results a little more quickly this way, though we’ll still run it on the blood as well to be sure.”

Kagome returned shortly, sitting down quietly as she handed over the sample.

“I’ll have Mr. Tanaka run this through right away.”

“You won’t tell him it’s mine, will you?”

“Of course not, dear.” She didn’t mention that he’d likely figure it out anyhow since they were already closed and it was only the three of them there. “I’ll be right back.” And she was, sitting down beside Kagome as they waited the short while it would take the test to run.

The silence was awkward and heavy, though, and Kagome didn’t like it. “You’re disappointed, aren’t you?” she asked when she finally put her finger on what was causing the sour mood.

Mrs. Tanaka sighed, low and long. “Yes.”

“Because the would-be-father is a hanyou?” To her surprise there was no bitterness to the words. She was more deeply saddened by the possibility than she was angry. So when Mrs. Tanaka started laughing in response to her question, Kagome was more than a little thrown.

“What?” she demanded, irritated at her confusion.

Stripping off her gloves, Mrs. Tanaka wiped a tear of mirth from the corner of her eye. “Oh Kagome, it has nothing to do with his heritage and everything to do with the fact he’s not Houjo.”

Kagome stared at her, dumbfounded. “Not Houjo?” she repeated weakly.

Mrs. Tanaka chuckled again, a bit wryly this time. “He’s not the only one in this family with a soft spot for you. I must confess that I’d also entertained notions of you joining our clinic and family permanently, but I can see now that’s impossible. Not when you’re wearing that expression.”

She patted Kagome’s knee amiably before standing. “Those results should be done now. I’ll be back in a few.”

Then she left Kagome to wonder just what kind of expression she’d been wearing.

~ ~ ~

NEGATIVE. It really was just stress and vitamin deficiency.

She stared down at the results in her hands again, the feeling of being adrift not lessening no matter how long she ruminated on it. She’d been looking at the sheet of paper for almost an hour now, through her walk home and then straight up the stairs into her bedroom. She wasn’t happy or sad, elated or disappointed, she was just…lost. Feeling upside-down. Suddenly she needed to talk to Inuyasha, regardless of the fact she’d seen him only a few days before and spoken to him shortly after her arrival back home to assure him of her safe return. All she knew was that she needed to hear his voice.

A quick glance at the clock told her that the Bacana Shrine should be open for visitors but not late enough that the first appointments were starting. She had to smile at the benevolence of whatever being allowed her to find herself needing to call at the most opportune time to actually be able to connect.

She dialed the number, her hands shaking slightly as she gripped the phone, relief rushing through her at the sound of Ryu’s voice.

“Hi, it’s Kagome. Sorry to be so abrupt,” as usually she’d chat with him for a few minutes first, “but can I talk to Inuyasha?”

The pause on the line made her wonder if someone had managed to finagle an early appointment with him.

“Oh…yes…Kagome.” He cleared his throat and warning bells went off in her head. “I’m sorry to inform you that Inuyasha isn’t here.”

Her heart stopped. “You mean another client convinced him to go home with her?” She couldn’t imagine what would prompt him to go along with such a scheme; it had been hard enough to arrange his visit to her home, and she wasn’t a sadistic psychopath.

“No.”

Relief flooded through her, followed by a nervous sort of excitement. “You mean he actually willingly went outside on some sort of excursion?” It would be great if he was finally learning to leave his insecurities behind and maybe give some of the other people outside the Shrine walls a chance.

Her question was followed by an even longer pause. “I-in a way.”

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. “He’s all right, isn’t he? Ryu, tell me he’s all right!”

“Yes, yes,” he rushed to assure her. “At least, as far as I know.”

Kagome made a small frustrated sound in the back of her throat. “Stop beating around the bush already and just tell me what’s going on.”

He sighed, a shuddery sort of sound that did nothing for her composure. “He’s gone, Kagome. He left.”

She needed more than that and was suddenly out of patience. “I’ve already taken a couple guesses at that so just explain already.”

“The problem is, I can’t be sure myself. Two nights ago his first appointment didn’t find him in his room. We searched for him but nothing could be found, aside from the few items he apparently left in my room.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she whispered.

“I was hoping he’d gone to you. He hasn’t?” he asked bleakly.

“No.”

“Then I can only assume he finally got enough of this place.”

“You’re saying he ran away?”

“It’s the only other thing I can think of.”

Suddenly it all came together in her mind: Inuyasha’s refusal to live as a burden under her care, his pride, her playing on that with making him promise to look out for himself, to take better care. He was gone for somewhere no one could touch him, a place without rules and strictures, where he could be free; a place of solitude where he could live wild as part of him had always been meant to.

And if he found it, he’d never be coming back.

“Sorry Ryu, I’ve got to go.” The strain in her voice was evident even to her own ears but she didn’t wait for a reply before hanging up. She curled in on herself, the paper in her hand crushed and forgotten, as silent sobs heaved through her uncomfortably tight chest.

She couldn’t decide which was worse: that she’d possibly just lost him forever, or the hateful, treacherous part of her that desperately hoped he failed.

~ ~ ~


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