InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ This Mess We're In ❯ Don't Ever Change ( Chapter 6 )

This Mess We're In

Chapter 6: Don't Ever Change

Disclaimers: I do not own the Takahashi-verse, but I do own my ass. Don't sue me for it, or I'll be left assless.

Rating: For now, it's all still PG13. Eventually there will be some adult stuff. I will continue to cut a PG13 or R version for ff.net. NC17 material will be reserved for MediaMiner.org posts, and will be eventually posted at the address in my profile.

Summary: Kagome has gone back where she belongs, but so has someone else. What exactly happened? Sesshou and Kagome don't know yet, but the past is about to collide with the present. Kag/Sess.

Chapter Summary: Tensions are running high. Kagome wants her mom (and don't we all?). Sesshoumaru pets the fluffy and takes a road trip. Rin turns into a snowball. Jaken is generally unhappy, not that he's usually a ray of sunshine. Souta hopes that Kagome will turn into Bruce Lee (and don't we all?). Chapter summaries continue to be wildly misleading, offering the gentle readers little to no useful information. Sorry about that. (Edited Jul7/03)

Soundtrack (available at my website): New Order - "Regret"

*****

---Sengoku Jidai---

Kagome woke with a start from a troubled sleep, and stared up at the ceiling of her darkened chamber. The air of the room seemed to seethe with stifling tension, but she knew that it was all in her mind.

Her worries seemed to intensify with each passing day. So many hardships were to come.

Could she survive this?

The young woman felt a surge of almost paralyzing anxiety that had become familiar over the past week. The prospect of hunting the Shikon shards all over again filled her with fear. Even if she managed somehow to collect them on her own, she had no doubt that Naraku would be hard at her heels, royally pissed at her for shattering the jewel when it had been in his grasp. In addition to Naraku, there would be others, both youkai and human, who would not hesitate to kill her for the shards. If one added those who might just want to kill her recreationally. . .

Tallying the risks, Kagome felt a chill.

Could she survive?

Her fingers curled hard into her palms. In the pre-dawn darkness, it was difficult to gather optimism for the task ahead. The hope that usually fortified her was worn thin. She had to admit to herself that her chances of accomplishing such a mission on her own were dismal. Even with Inuyasha, Sango, Shippou and Miroku, it hadn't exactly been easy.

Her eyes closed as she thought of her friends.

What were they doing right now? Her anger at Inuyasha had long since faded, and now she just missed him terribly. She missed all of them. Her brow furrowed with worry. How was Sango? Naraku had taken the shard from Kohaku's back, and now he was forever lost. How was Shippou doing without her? He would be so upset at her disappearance, but she knew that the others would take care of him.

Kagome hoped that they, at least, were together, and looking after one another.

Slowly, the young woman became aware of a small, warm weight curled against her side. One of Rin's hands rested beneath her rounded cheek, while the other firmly gripped the sleeve of Kagome's robe.

She's afraid that I'll leave without saying goodbye, Kagome thought fondly. She gently smoothed the hair back from Rin's face.

Sesshoumaru was raising a human girl, marveled Kagome. It was so incongruous that she shook her head.

Then, Kagome mentally smacked herself for thinking of him.

Today, she would leave this place, and begin a journey with an uncertain end. The two days since that aberrant episode in the hallway had seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, but in other ways, they had felt like forever.

After the kiss, she had dreaded seeing him again. Even now, the thought of it made her knees weak, but she didn't understand what had brought it on. One moment, she'd been spitting mad. In the next, she had wanted him with a frightening intensity.

It was disturbing, to say the least.

Then, as time had stretched on without any sign of Sesshoumaru, she had found herself growing even more nervous and confused.

If she had learned anything about Sesshoumaru since he'd first appeared in her life, it was that he rarely acted impulsively or without a purpose. Perhaps, she thought in her mounting paranoia, the whole thing had been an attempt to keep her off-balance and gain power over her.

However, thought Kagome, that theory would only go so far. He'd never been one to hide his motives in order to get what he wanted; he just didn't seem to feel any need to. Generally, he would show up and say things like `Tell me where father's grave is or die,' or `Give me Tetsusaiga or die.'

There really wasn't much room for ambiguity there.

If he wanted to keep her off-balance, it seemed more likely that he would have dropped a few death-threats. It wasn't as though she was anywhere close to him in strength.

And, if he'd wanted to use this. . . attraction against her, why did it seem like he was as eager to avoid her company as she was to avoid his?

Kagome frowned, and a frustrated sigh escaped her lips. Her head was beginning to ache, and it was sure to be a long day. There would be time enough to worry when the sun came up.

She closed her eyes, and tried to doze.

In the morning, she would start a new life.

She could only hope that it would be a long one.

**********

When Kagome opened her eyes once more, Rin was tugging at her hand.

"Good morning!" the little girl chirped brightly. She looked like she was bearing good news, which Kagome could really use right now. She was sick and tired of brooding over her uncertain fate.

"Good morning, Rin." Kagome sat up sleepily, noting that Rin was already dressed and ready for the day. What time was it?

The child grinned. "Sesshoumaru-sama wants to talk to you." The older girl's face fell. "Maybe this means you can stay," Rin continued, unable to hide her excitement at the prospect.

Somehow, Kagome doubted Rin's interpretation.

"Thanks for telling me." She smiled. The girl was so adorable, but it wouldn't be right to get her hopes up. "I don't think I'll be staying here very much longer, though." She hugged Rin before she pushed the covers back, and rose from the futon to get dressed.

"But Kagome is so much more fun than Jaken!" Rin piped, looking up at her beseechingly,

The image of the cranky old youkai sprang to Kagome's mind. "I should hope so!" the young woman replied with a grin.

**********

Sesshoumaru would have liked nothing better than to go on ignoring Kagome's presence. However, he had sent Rin to bring her to him, as there were pressing matters to discuss. Today, she was to depart.

He would be able to forget about the debacle in the hallway once she was gone.

For the past two days, thoughts of it had haunted him. He would never have believed that she, a human, would taste so sweet.

The memory of the way her pulse thrummed beneath his tongue as her scent enveloped him still had the power to heat his body.

The youkai lord turned to the window and looked out over his birthright and inheritance. For years, he had guarded this territory. As the last full-blooded heir to his line, he would continue to do so for hundreds more. Absently, he raised a hand to his shoulder to touch the tangible proof of his heritage.

This, he thought, was the pelt of his house. It was the emblem of a youkai bloodline that had nearly fallen due to a human's power over his father.

Despite that knowledge, he thought bitterly, he had allowed himself to fall prey to the same weakness. The warm smell of the girl seemed to haunt him.

Then, the sound of hesitant steps interrupted Sesshoumaru's dark thoughts, and brought him face to face with their cause.

Kagome stood timidly in the doorway, staring at the floor. "Rin told me to come and see you," she ventured. Uncertainty was written all over her face.

Sesshoumaru felt a hint of satisfaction. Finally, he thought, the girl showed a proper amount of deference.

He brutally squashed a brief glimmer of disappointment.

"Today," he said in a tone that brooked no argument, "you will leave. You will be brought to the South."

Kagome glanced up in surprise, her embarrassment forgotten.

His golden eyes met hers as he continued. "It cannot have escaped your attention that your level of skill as a fighter is pathetic."

Though she knew there was a kernel of truth to his statement, hearing it stated so baldly made her hackles rise.

"You could no doubt be killed effortlessly by any wild beast, let alone any youkai worthy of the title," he continued dispassionately.

Kagome's brown eyes hardened. Her chin rose, and she crossed her arms over her chest. Sesshoumaru chose not to examine the reasons for his sudden feeling of anticipation.

Her lips parted to speak, but Sesshoumaru went on relentlessly in that maddeningly calm voice of his.

"I have no desire to see Naraku achieve his objective." Sesshoumaru's eyes hardened at the thought of the upstart hanyou. "In addition, your passage from this world would cause Rin to mourn, and disturb my peace."

Kagome's annoyance faded into confusion. She'd thought, initially, that he was just going to insult her and then dump her somewhere to fend for herself. Now, however, she had to rapidly evaluate. What exactly was he getting at? She blinked.

"So," she interjected slowly, "what exactly does this have to do with my going to the South?"

"There is a strong miko there who could prepare you for combat." Sesshoumaru could almost see the gears of her mind turning.

"Obviously, you have spent very little time developing what meager skills you have." He cringed inwardly at the gibing tone of his voice. Why was he constantly moved to goad her? Despite his annoyance at his lack of restraint, he frowned when she did not take the bait.

Kagome's head was tilted in consideration. She had stopped listening.

Huh, she thought to herself. The more she ruminated on it, the more she wished it had occurred to her before. How many times had she required rescuing? How many times had her peril distracted her friends from a fight, with near disastrous results?

She'd known from the first that she had some kind of power that remained untapped. Her nose crinkled as she recalled how the centipede youkai's arms had fallen off during her first trip through the well. Eww. Whatever she'd done then, it had been gross, but effective.

Now, she could have the chance to develop that strength. Maybe, for once, she would be able to rely on herself.

Maybe she would be able to survive this after all.

Sesshoumaru, she thought in shock, was actually helping her. Her mind boggled at the insight. She looked at him once more, only to see that his perfect face remained as cold and inscrutable as ever.

The aforementioned youkai had been watching as Kagome's thoughts played across her face. The girl was utterly transparent. Surprise, realization, annoyance, disgust, bewilderment, and hope passed over her features in rapid succession.

He blinked when she met his eyes and gifted him with a dazzling smile.

"Thanks!" she said brightly, startling Sesshoumaru. "I wish I'd thought of that myself. Training, I mean. There wasn't any time for that before, since we were constantly hunting for the shards." Kagome frowned slightly. "I don't really have the time now, either. Every day that passes is an opportunity for Naraku to find more shards, but it's a sacrifice I'll just have to make. I need to learn how to take care of myself." She nodded once in determination.

Sesshoumaru couldn't think of anything to say in response. Kagome had turned that sunny smile on him again, and was showing gratitude for his aid to her. For some reason, he hadn't expected her to have that much common sense.

Kagome looked up at the ceiling and bit her lip, deep in thought once more, before returning her gaze to his.

"Will it be possible to make a couple of stops on the way?" she asked. "They are in the same area."

Sesshoumaru saw no problem with her request. With her and Rin on a dragon mount, travel would be relatively quick.

He made a gesture of assent and asked, "Where must you go?"

"I should stop at the village, and tell Kaede what I'm doing." Kagome paused for a beat. "I also need to go to a well. Both are near Inuyasha's forest."

Sesshoumaru frowned at the thought of going anywhere near Inuyasha's woods, and then raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"A well?" he asked. "I assure you, there is no shortage of water in this fortress, should you require it."

Kagome seemed unsure of what to say. "Actually, it's a dry well," she elaborated.

"A dry well?" he repeated. That was even stranger. His eyebrow rose another few millimeters as he rapidly revised his opinion of Kagome's common sense.

She sighed and closed her eyes, pressing her fingers to her temple. How could she explain this?

"I have to see my family, to tell them I might not be back for a while." Kagome paused. "I. . . I was not born into this time. My home is on the other side of the well, in the future, hundreds of years from now. I'm only here because the Shikon no Tama was inside me, and the well lets me travel to between eras."

The girl waited anxiously as he absorbed the information.

"We will leave shortly," he replied after a short pause, turning back towards the window. "Ask Jaken to bring you your things. And tell Rin to prepare herself for the journey."

Sesshoumaru stood silently for a few minutes after Kagome's scent left the room. He'd been skeptical, but the girl was incapable of lying. She had to be telling the truth.

He had suspected that she did not belong in this world. For the first time, being right felt vaguely hollow.

**********

The landscape sped beneath them, and Kagome could only watch in wonder as it flew past.

They'll never believe this back home, she thought wryly. Actually, she'd been through a lot of things that no one in their right mind would believe.

She was seated on a two-headed dragon's back, with Rin in front of her, heading with all speed towards Kaede's village. Sesshoumaru and Jaken were flying some distance in front of them, by Ah-Un's heads.

Flight was not exactly a new experience for Kagome. After all, she had been on Kirara's back many times in the past. However, Kirara didn't usually get up to this altitude.

The rush of wind in Kagome's ears precluded any conversation, so she merely held Rin's hand and watched the world go by. She was glad that she could spend a bit more time with the little girl before they parted ways.

Rin was sitting peacefully as though this was all very familiar to her. However, Kagome could not help but look around her with wide eyes. Fields and forests seemed to paint a picture in gradations of green, cut only by the rock of mountains and the silver gleam of rivers. Human settlements speckled the land here and there, but it was nothing like the dense grid of modern Japan. The air was pure and clean, lacking the yellowish haze that blurred the skies of her time.

It was also cold, up this high. Kagome shivered, and then noticed that Rin's teeth were chattering. Her nose was also starting to run in the way that kids' noses tended to do, regardless of the era.

Kagome pulled Rin closer into her arms, attempting to shelter the small girl from the thin, brisk wind. The child snuggled into her embrace and sniffled in contentment.

Looking back at the two girls, Sesshoumaru saw that they were trembling with cold. He exhaled in irritation.

Humans needed so much looking after.

After a moment's thought, he removed the pelt from his arm and handed it to Jaken, gesturing for him to bring it back to them. Jaken looked utterly horrified. "But, Sesshoumaru-sama!" he cried, beak opening and closing uselessly. At his master's look, he bowed his head and clambered towards the two humans, his scandalized mutterings lost to gusts of air. He thrust the fur towards Kagome with thinly veiled disgust.

She shot Sesshoumaru a look of appreciation before she wrapped it around herself and Rin. Kagome carefully tucked it around the little girl's face to seal her as much as possible from the chill. Before Kagome's eyes turned back to the bird's eye view of feudal Japan, she noticed that Rin was casually wiping her nose on the pelt, and laughed to herself.

She was sure that Sesshoumaru would be thrilled.

**********

It didn't take long before they arrived at the village. Luckily, Kagome thought, they had left the Ah-Un some distance away. She could only imagine the blind panic that would have followed had two youkai and a dragon dropped into the middle of town with no warning.

As it was, they were attracting enough attention. For her part, Kagome was relieved that the villagers had become accustomed to her strangeness, and were not too shocked to see that her companions were equally bizarre.

The procession approaching Kaede's hut was definitely out of the ordinary. Sesshoumaru appeared as regal and perfect as ever, not one hair out of place. He had declined the pelt after they had reached the ground, looking at it with mild distaste; he had noticed that parts of it looked a little damp, and that Rin's nose was suddenly and suspiciously dry. Since he hadn't requested its return, the child had wrapped herself in the fur completely, and resembled nothing so much as a furry tumbleweed. Jaken was hopping along at the rear, shaking his head in disapproval and waving the staff of heads threateningly at the villagers.

Kagome waved sheepishly at the people who were brave enough to greet her, while Sesshoumaru ignored them. Rin peered around her curiously. It had been a while since she had been in a human settlement for more than a few minutes. Jaken kept shaking his head and muttering.

"Kagome!" Kaede had heard the buzz of hushed conversation and come to the door to investigate. "What happened? We thought you might be dead! Where have you been? Will you be staying?" Kagome shook her head, and the old woman stopped short as she recognized the Lord of the Western Lands and his entourage.

"What's going on?" she asked Kagome in a gravelly whisper. "Are you in trouble?"

Did the hag really think he couldn't hear her? Sesshoumaru sniffed in disdain, and immediately regretted it when he got a noseful of eau de villager.

Kagome took Kaede by the arm and led her into the hut. With a look, Sesshoumaru sent Jaken and Rin off to explore the village peacefully. He followed the women inside, projecting an air of antipathy.

"I'm okay. I was injured, but I've been staying with Sesshoumaru," Kagome told the aged miko. The older woman shot Kagome a look that said quite clearly, `are you insane?'

"Have you seen the others? Are they all right?" Kagome went on to ask.

"Yes, though they worry about you. I heard about what happened. I thought that light looked familiar." Kaede steadily met Kagome's eyes. "Kagome, you did the right thing. Inuyasha is not having a very good time of it, I'd wager."

When she'd last seen the shard hunters, it had seemed as though no one had been too keen on talking to the hanyou. He had waited in silent worry as the others had prodded Kaede for news.

"Shippou is heartbroken over your absence. Sango mourns her brother. Miroku tries to distract them both, with varying degrees of success."

Kagome felt a pang for the little fox and her friends. "The monk's been getting Hiraikotsu over the head again, hasn't he?" she asked dryly.

"Strangely, no," the older miko responded, seeming surprised. Kagome blinked. Miroku's hands weren't as grabby as usual? Morale really must be low. Her brows drew together in concern.

"Kaede, I'm sure I'll see them again," the young woman continued seriously, "I just have to go away for a while to take care of something. Next time they come here, could you tell them that I'm all right? Especially Shippou?"

Kaede looked meaningfully towards Sesshoumaru, who was the very picture of apathy. "Will it be true?" the old woman asked, uneasy.

"I'm going to the South. I need to start collecting the shards as soon as possible, but before I do that, I have to train. Sesshoumaru told me about a miko there who could teach me."

The old woman's expression turned thoughtful as she looked into the fire. The South, eh? If what she'd heard had been correct, this might be a good idea for Kagome. She had shown in the past that she had an innate power not unlike that of Kikyou.

That Sesshoumaru would have suggested such an idea, however, was unexpected. Why would a youkai send a miko to learn how to fight his kind? It was strange, indeed. Kaede discreetly peered over at the youkai lord, and noticed the intent, almost heated way he watched the young woman when she was unaware of it.

Perhaps, she thought to herself, it wasn't that strange after all. Kaede had seen enough in her time on to know that bizarre things happened every day.

"I am glad that you wish to refine your skills, Kagome. However, you must be aware that Naraku is likely gathering shards as we speak." Kaede turned to throw more wood into the fire.

Kagome took a deep breath. "That's why I need to do this. If I'm to collect them, I'll need all the power I can get. Either I take the time to become stronger now, or I'll suffer for the lack of it later. Even if I develop the abilities I have, I'm not sure it will be enough."

Kaede nodded. Out of the corner of her eye, The Lord of the Western Lands' gaze, still trained on Kagome, seemed to darken.

"I'll tell them what you've said." She turned towards Sesshoumaru, noting how his eyes flicked away to look anywhere but at the girl in front of her. "Come back to visit when you can."

The old woman smiled. "Good luck."

**********

It was late morning when the group reached the edge of the forest. Kagome looked around at the familiar trees.

She thought back to the first time she'd arrived in this age, and seen Inuyasha sealed near the well. The mossy ground surrounding the blessed tree was dappled with the sunlight that shone through the forest cover. It looked much the same as it had that first day, but her circumstances had changed so much.

Kagome turned to Rin, who was wandering this way and that like an air-borne dandelion puff. "We're almost there," she said softly. The girl perked up.

Then, Kagome led the way through a gap in the trees, and walked into the clearing.

Sesshoumaru and Jaken halted in the meadow behind her. Jaken had gone blissfully quiet during the walk. His green face was pinched tight with his disapproval over the proceedings. Gods, he thought to himself. The indignity of following these human females around was almost beyond bearing! However, he was sure that Sesshoumaru-sama had some sort of plan. Jaken looked darkly at the child, who was currently running in a circle around him. He impotently shook the staff of heads at her. She ignored him.

The taiyoukai studied the well curiously. It was hard to believe that such a plain thing could be a portal between worlds, but he could sense the magic working here. His brother's scent was all over these woods, he thought with distaste. However, the air of this clearing bore the girl's olfactory mark, as well as the musty smell of youkai remains.

Kagome turned to Sesshoumaru. "How much time can I have?" she asked matter-of-factly.

"We will leave at sunset," he replied in a terse voice.

Kagome nodded her agreement, took a deep breath, and opened her hand to look at her palm. There it was: the one shard she had managed to find in the grass of another clearing where she had lost everything.

It glinted pink in the sunlight.

Closing her fist around it once again, she climbed over the edge of the well, and was gone.

**********

One rung.

Two rungs.

Three. Four.

Kagome tried to distract herself from the thought of the goodbyes that were to come. Just the act of climbing out of the well's darkness filled her with anticipation for the comforts of her home and family. It made the dangers of the feudal age seem like nightmares that she could ignore until they went away.

If only, she thought to herself, she could just bask in the glow of her mom's smile, bicker with Souta, and listen to her grandpa's rambling until everything sorted itself out.

She steeled herself. It has to be me, she thought. I have to go back there.

She exited the well-house and blinked up into the Tokyo sky, only to feel someone grab her arm right away.

"Kagome!" Souta greeted her. "You were gone so long! What were you doing? Did you bring Inuyasha?"

A pained smile stretched across her face. "No, Souta. Are Mama and Grandpa home?"

Souta nodded, took her by the hand, and tugged her inside. "Mama, Grandpa! Kagome's back."

Kagome's eyes closed in happiness when her mother emerged from the living room and enveloped her in a hug. "Kagome! Are you going to go to school tomorrow? How long are you staying?"

Grandpa appeared, only to say, "You don't have to worry about going for a while, granddaughter! I've informed them that you are in bed with a broken leg and pinkeye. Your friends sent you a nice card for your osteoporosis problem, and Hojou brought you a moxibustion kit." He nodded his approval. "You have some very thoughtful acquaintances, Kagome. You should be thankful."

She let out a long-suffering sigh as she exited Mrs. Higurashi's embrace and hugged her grandfather. "Oh, Grandpa. How are you?"

"Ah, I have a bit of rheumatism lately, but nothing compared to your health problems," he replied with a sly wink.

"Grandpa!" Kagome chided good-naturedly. Though they occasionally annoyed her to death, she loved her family to pieces. Her face fell slightly, as she remembered that she only had a few hours to spend with them.

For a split second, Mrs. Higurashi saw a deep sadness pass through her daughter's eyes. Something was going on, and she was sure that she wouldn't like it.

Unaware of the subtext, Souta rejoined the chaos. "So what kind of monsters did you fight this time, Kagome? Did Inuyasha rip them all to shreds? It must have been tough. You haven't been back for weeks!"

Kagome firmly interrupted what looked to be the beginning of a long line of questions. "I can't stay long, and I have lots to tell you. Plus," she went on, shamefaced, "I've kind of lost everything, so I'll have to get some stuff together before I go back."

Three heads nodded simultaneously, and Kagome felt a pang. They were all so willing to help her and support her, even though she knew that it was hard sometimes. She showed up suddenly and sometimes infrequently, but she knew that her family would stop whatever they were doing if she needed them.

Mrs. Higurashi walked briskly towards the coffee table and picked up a pen and paper. "All right," she declared in a businesslike tone. "Let's make a list. Do you need more first aid supplies?"

**********

Some time later, after a rather frantic shopping trip and an early dinner, Kagome sat in the living room surrounded with supplies. She had a new box of bandages and disinfectant, tons of instant food, clothes that were suitable for training, toiletries, her refilled prescription, a new sleeping bag, and various other odds and ends. She even had a huge frame backpack. Her family sat comfortably around her.

"You need something big that won't hurt to carry around, Kagome," her mother said. "This is perfect for camping and trekking for long periods of time, and the hip strap will make it easier to carry. You just told us that you don't know how long you'll be, and that you'll be training and traveling."

Mrs. Higurashi waved the expense aside, along with Kagome's protests.

"It will make your life easier," she countered in a firm tone, "and I'll worry less. Take it."

Kagome started to pack, and told them more about her plans. The mention of training sent Souta into a near-frenzy of inquisitiveness.

"You're really going to train to fight? That's so unbelievably cool!" His eyes glazed over with images from his favorite martial arts movies.

"It's not that kind of training, Souta." Kagome replied, knowing exactly what he was thinking. "It will have more to do with my miko abilities." She paused, and a wrinkle appeared on her forehead. "At least, I think."

As Kagome tried to remember what Sesshoumaru had told her about the miko, her grandfather Grandfather offered his opinion of the proceedings. "For generations, we have been a shrine family," he intoned with enormous gravity. "It is good that you are going to develop these skills that have been passed down to you. Through the ages-"

She felt a twinge of anxiety. Really, she had no idea what to expect. She wished that she'd asked him for more information. "Sesshoumaru didn't really tell me too much about the woman I'll be learning from, besides the fact that she's strong," Kagome continued.

"Sesshoumaru?" Souta exclaimed. "Isn't he the guy who's tried to kill you and Inuyasha a bunch of times?" Grandpa and Mrs. Higurashi shot her concerned looks at this tidbit of information.

"Yeah, he's Inuyasha's older brother, and he's not exactly the friendliest youkai in the woods," Kagome said wryly.

Her life was so incredibly weird.

"Training with this miko was his idea. For some reason, he's been really helpful lately. He pretty much saved my life, after I lost the others." A memory of the kiss flashed into her mind, but was quickly banished. Again.

The afternoon shadows were lengthening. Soon, she would have to leave.

"My mission could take a long time. I don't know when I'll be able to come back," she said, injecting optimism into her words and trying to look cheerful.

Mrs. Higurashi watched her daughter's expression with a perceptive eye.

"Now that I have to find the shards all over again," Kagome persisted, "I won't have much time to spare. I want to get to them before Naraku manages to, because the more he finds, the stronger he gets. So even if I'm not back for a few months, try not to worry. I'll come home as soon as I can."

The sky was darkening.

Kagome grabbed Souta into a strong hug. "Souta, you're a good kid," she whispered affectionately. "Take care of Mama and Grandpa for me, okay? Next time I see you, I'll show you some moves." She grinned, and a tear came to her eye. By the time she returned, her little brother might not be so little anymore.

Then she turned to her grandfather, and gave him an equally fierce hug. "Ow!" he protested good-naturedly. "Not so hard! I'm too old for this rough treatment!" The strength of his answering embrace belied his words.

"Gramps, try not to make my diseases too gross, all right?" she admonished. "No running sores or anything. I don't want people thinking I'm a leper when I get back. My social life is already damaged enough, with me not being here most of the time."

He offered a toothy smile. "Don't you worry, my cute grand-daughter. I have a list of good ones that I haven't used yet, and I don't think any of them are contagious." He looked towards the ceiling in consideration.

"Though, I might have to check," he mumbled.

The sun was disappearing behind buildings.

Mrs. Higurashi stood, helped Kagome put her backpack on, and adjusted it until it was properly fitted. "I'll walk you to the well-house, and help you get the bike over," she said.

And, she thought to herself, she was going to find out what Kagome wasn't telling her.

**********

Kagome tested the weight on her back as they walked towards the well. Her mother was watching her in a way that made her uneasy.

"Wow," she said lamely, attempting to fill the silence. "You were right about this pack, Mama. It's a lot better! Definitely more comfortable."

When they reached the darkness of the well-house, Mrs. Higurashi laid a hand on her daughter's arm.

"Kagome, I can see that something's up," she said gently. "Just tell me what's going on. Tell me what's bothering you."

She looked at her mom, at everything comfortable and familiar to her, and suddenly she couldn't bear it anymore.

"Mama," Kagome began as she memorized her mother's gently smiling face, "I have to tell you, there is a chance-" her voice cut off abruptly, unsure of how to continue. She tried again.

"I don't want to do this, but I have to. Even if I become stronger, I don't know if. . ." Kagome paused again, willing the words to come to her, as her mother watched with concern. "It will be so dangerous, and without the others. . ." her voice trailed off, and then she started speaking quickly, almost stumbling over the words.

"Oh, mama, the chances that I'll make it back aren't good at all, and I'm just so s-scared." Her voice cracked, a dam broke, and the tears that had been standing in her eyes started to spill down her cheeks.

"Why does it have to be me?" Kagome asked helplessly.

For an endless moment, the only thing Mrs. Higurashi felt was a cold, leaden weight over her heart. Her worst fears threatened to overwhelm her. She stood silently until the numbness passed.

Then, she looked upon her daughter with wondering eyes.

How had this courageous girl sprung of her own flesh and blood?

Kagome had been through so much, despite her youth. The past two years of her life had been a constant battle in a distant, unfamiliar time. Yet, through all these tests, her heart had remained strong, and she still held fast to her ideals.

Her absence had been hard on the family, too. Though it remained unspoken, they lived with the shared dread that she might be injured or worse. She could die alone, centuries away from those that loved her most, and they would never know.

Kagome's mother had had nightmares in which she waited for years with no sign. She had dreamt that she remained bound to the shrine house by a fading hope for her daughter's return, without the solace of a grave, or the balm of a place to grieve her.

Yes, it had been difficult for all of them, and it would soon become harder.

Every fiber of her being screamed with the instinct to keep her baby from harm. She had a sudden, almost irresistible urge to grab Kagome and drag her back into the house. She could fill the well with concrete, and prevent her from ever going back. . .

However, in her heart, Mrs. Higurashi knew that she could never bring herself to stifle those qualities that she loved so dearly in her daughter. Tears filled her eyes as she gathered Kagome into a hug.

"If you did not go back - if you just stayed here and hid, though you knew what could happen - would you be able to live with yourself?" she asked gently.

Kagome cried harder and shook her head, fingers curling into the back of her mother's blouse as she buried her face against her shoulder.

"I don't want to go b-back there, mama. I want to s-stay, but I can't just hide." Though her tears soaked the material of her mother's blouse, and her voice was choked with tears, each syllable resounded with will.

The mother closed her eyes and smoothed the daughter's hair with a shaking hand, comforting them both.

"That," Mrs. Higurashi replied softly, "is why it has to be you."

Her heart welled with anguish, pride, and love.

Sniffling, Kagome seemed to calm.

Mrs. Higurashi's embrace tightened, and she pressed a kiss against her child's temple, like she had so many times as she'd grown up. "You'll return," she whispered fiercely. "A mother knows."

She continued to stroke Kagome's hair as the sobs subsided. Kagome didn't seem to want to leave her arms. She rested her cheek on the top of her daughter's head. How long will it be, she thought, before I see you again?

The alternative was too awful to contemplate.

"And when you come back," she said in a speculative tone, "I'll make oden." Against her shoulder, she felt a smile emerge through the tears.

The younger woman sniffled again. "Oden?" She perked up slightly. "Odenodenoden. . ." Kagome's voice was tenuous at first, but gradually gained in strength.

The weight of her fears was lessening.

"When you come back." Mrs. Higurashi's voice was firm.

She smiled.

Though neither of them could see it, they both felt the sun sink beneath the horizon.

She shut her eyes tightly, allowed herself one last squeeze, and let her daughter go.

**********

Author's Note: Not much of the funny in this one, huh? This is actually only part of the chapter I intended to write, but it was taking forever, so maybe this could be thought of as the longest teaser in the vast annals of recorded time. I'm still in the process of revising Ch. 5 as well.

I now have a notify list for this story, so if you want to be emailed in case of updates, hit the webpage link in my profile.

My updates might not be as frequent now, since:

-the going is getting very tough for me. Sometimes, I can't stand this story, let alone the thought of writing more of it.

-the chapters seem to want to challenge War and Peace to a duel. Tolstoy will, of course, prevail, but still. . .

-my plot is running away from me and seeking shelter in opium-dens. The idea of pink bunnies hopping in and killing Naraku with hugs and cuteness? Let's just say, sometimes it doesn't seem that farfetched. I desperately need a voice of reason, as mine is very off/on these days.

I'm still determined to finish, though.

Thanks to my reviewers for the encouragement. I wish you all foot-rubs and goodness for getting me this far in my story, as I'm notorious for my commitment issues. 90? I'm blushing here. (But I look better with a bit of color in my wan cheeks, so keep on keepin' on. Please?)

Again, super special thanks to CX-chan for her help with canon stuff.

I'm out.