InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Walking Through Fire ❯ Exposure ( Chapter 4 )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, but if you want to think I do then be my guest.

 

Walking Through Fire

by: Lara Winner

 

 

Chapter 4: Exposure

 

 

When Shippo had awakened to find Kagome alert and whispering to Inuyasha the kit had become quite vocal in his excitement.

 

“Kagome!” he cried excitedly, waking everyone in small hut with his happy squeal.

 

As everyone began to rouse Inuyasha quickly set Kagome away from him and back onto her futon, blushing furiously. He ignored the mild look of disappointment on her face and scooted back nearly a foot from the young miko. It was embarrassing enough that everyone knew he fancied her, he didn't have it in him to start with open displays of affection.

 

Kagome's attention quickly refocused on the kit and Inuyasha's annoyance rose another degree. He'd wanted to be close to her for a little while longer. He didn't like sharing her attention when he wanted it. Not that he hated Shippo or anything but Kagome wasn't the runt's mother, he didn't need to be all over.

 

The fact that Shippo wasn't `all over Kagome' and had reason to be worried was something Inuyasha didn't want to acknowledge. At the moment he didn't feel like being reasonable. He felt like breaking something.

 

His agitation was back with a vengeance because soon the inquiry would start and he wasn't sure he was ready to answer the questions that would be leveled at him. He knew how the group as a whole felt about Kikyo, he didn't want to hear them bitch about that crap either. She was gone. It was time she got the respect she deserved, not the clay doll but the real Kikyo, the one he'd loved once upon a time in another life.

 

Truth be told he still loved Kikyo and he had long ago accepted the fact that he always would. But even he knew that the memories he harbored were far more glorious than the actual reality of the moment. The Kikyo of his memories was more of an ideal than the actual miko herself.

 

Kikyo would forever remain on a pedestal of integrity and purity. She was above the base aspirations of humans in general, or so she had appeared to the isolated boy he'd once been. She was the only thing he strove to be worthy of.

 

But that was blessed memory. The truth was that Kikyo was as flawed and as driven by earthly desires as he was. In the end the pedestal of his affections would have only become another cumbersome burden for her to bear and had he changed for her he would have never experienced true, unconditional acceptance.

 

It was her idea to wish upon the jewel. If only he'd known then how it would end…

 

Something in his expression betrayed the direction of his thoughts and he realized as much when Kagome caught his eye and offered him a sympathetic smile. Now was not the time to wallow in past mistakes. He could do that later, alone.

 

“It is good that you are well Kagome-sama.” Miroku said gaining the hanyou's attention, “You had us all very worried.”

 

“Yeah Kagome it was awful. We thought you were going to die.” Shippo chimed in. The kit climbed onto Kagome's lap looking up at her with something akin to adoration on his little face.

 

Inuyasha growled softly.

 

Shippo ignored him.

 

Kagome looked back and forth between the houshi and the kitsune a bit confused. “Really? I'm sorry. I don't remember much of what happened.”

 

“You wouldn't child.” Kaede replied, “The power that you and my sister brought forth sucked your soul from your body. You were fading quickly. We are all curious as to how Inuyasha managed to retrieve it.”

 

“Inuyasha…?” Kagome's tone was questioning and her gray eyes were wide and sparkling.

 

He liked that look on her face. It made something inside him feel warm and tingly. What he didn't like was the avid expressions on everyone else's face that reminded him of the makings of an inquisition. They wanted answers and he wasn't going make it out of the hut alive if he didn't start talking.

 

For a split second he debated lying and going with Kaede's explanation but just as instantaneously he decided against it. They deserved the truth, or rather, Kagome deserved the truth.

 

Most of it anyway.

 

Averting his gaze to the floor he said, “It wasn't the power baba. It was a soul-stealer trapped inside of Naraku that tried to use the remnants of Urasue's spell and Kagome's soul to create a human body for itself.”

 

Sango appeared horrified. “Is that possible? I wasn't aware soul-stealers could draw out the souls the living beings.”

 

“They can.” Kohaku said softly, though clearly not intending to elaborate.

 

Inuyasha shrugged purposely being vague. From what the bastard said Kikyo had taken Kagome's soul first and left it the opening it needed… but they didn't need to know that part.

 

“It took my soul?” Kagome shivered, wrapping her arms about her chest. Still she offered her friends a weak grin. “In this case I'm glad third time wasn't a charm or I'd really be in a fix right now.”

 

Her gaze shifted to Inuyasha and she sent him a meaningful I-know-there-more-to-this-than-you're-saying look and knew her suspicions were confirmed when the hanyou looked away, his ears drooping to disappear into his silver hair.

 

“Hmm, that is an unexpected.” Kaede mused. “I suppose Naraku's combined powers could have altered the soul-stealer's abilities. They are unique creatures and their power is also bound to the netherworld. No one is truly certain of the extent of their abilities.”

 

“But how do you explain the wounds that appeared on Kagome's stomach?” Sango questioned with a perplexed frown.

 

“What wounds?” Reflexively Kagome pressed a hand to her stomach but all felt normal. There was no soreness or pain. It was then she realized that she was no longer wearing her green and white school blouse but instead the blue and purple flowered top to her pajama set. How odd…

 

Shippo patted her knee with a tiny hand and explained, “You were lying there and all of a sudden you started bleeding. When Sango lifted your shirt there were claw marks cross your stomach. They just appeared even though nothing touched you.”

 

“Those came from me.”

 

Kagome felt a sinking feeling in her chest as she turned to look at Inuyasha. He voice was deadpan as he admitted blame for her injury and he sat slightly slumped, his hands clenched into tight fists to keep them from shaking and his head bowed hiding his expression behind the thick mop of his bangs. She didn't need to see his face to know the shame and guilt she would find there.

 

“But how? I was right there beside her Inuyasha.” Sango said in disbelief. “You didn't touch her.”

 

“It didn't matter. I lashed out at the creature before it told me that any injuries I gave it would be suffered by Kagome too. By then it was too late.”

 

“You always rush into things baka!” Shippo snapped.

 

Inuyasha snarled lifting his head enough that the kit could see he bared teeth. “Shut up runt!”

 

Kagome interceded and admonished Shippo gently. “Don't call Inuyasha a baka. It wasn't his fault. He was just doing what he thought he could to protect me. Let's not make it worse than it is.”

 

The kit nodded but Kagome felt that no amount of reason was going to ease the hanyou's guilt. So she scooted a little bit closer and covered one his clenched fists with her hand. She gave a gentle squeeze but said nothing.

 

Watching them Miroku shook his head in bemusement. “We know Inuyasha would never willingly harm you Kagome-sama. The fact that he single handedly sought to save you should say more than enough about that matter.” Following Kagome lead he scooted a little bit closer to Sango despite the exterminator's warning glare and continued innocently, “What I am more curious about is how you came upon the soul-stealer Inuyasha?”

 

“I didn't. It found me.” he said tersely, still extremely agitated.

 

Miroku rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “That makes little sense. Why seek out the one that would destroy you?”

 

“It was going by Kagome's feelings and memories. It didn't think I could figure out a way take it down because I'm a hanyou.” Inuyasha replied trying to keep the growl out of his voice. He knew what was coming next.

 

“How did you defeat it, my friend?”

 

If possible Inuyasha's muscles became even more rigid with uneasy tension. He didn't want to answer the question. The implications of its meaning left his feelings too open for their interpretation. The only thing worse than being that exposed was being human.

 

There was no keeping the defensive edge out of his voice. “I couldn't kill it okay! I was out of options and out of time because if Kagome's body woulda died then that bastard would've kept her soul so I did the only thing that came to mind… I… used the jewel.”

 

For a moment the stunned silence was deafening and that was all it took. Inuyasha's patience snapped. Shaking off Kagome's hand and practically yelling “Ah fuck it!”, he stormed out the hut in a flurry of red and silver.

 

 

It wasn't conscious on Inuyasha's part that he ended up at the Goshinbu tree. His feet seemed to move in that direction on their own taking him to the place where long ago his life had ended in a misguided act of vengeance. Standing before the tree he couldn't help but wonder if he was going to lose out once more.

 

Inuyasha wasn't the idiot he pretended to be. He knew Kagome loved him and her feelings for him were about the only thing he had absolute faith in.

 

Stepping closer he ran his clawed fingers over the rough bark of the ancient tree. It was weathered and the steadfast trunk showed its age. Reaching a bit higher he traced a deep laceration where an arrow had once been imbedded into the soft bark of the tree. He could still feel the cold metal tip of the arrow ripping through muscle and bone to pierce straight into his heart. It was why didn't dwell on it long enough to conjure the vivid memory.

 

A small quirk lifted the corner of his lips as he realized that the tree was healing itself. The grove was not as deep as it had once been. All things healed and he supposed that was nothing special.

 

But had he healed?

 

No. There was still a hole in his heart and he doubted it would ever mend.

 

He wasn't like the tree. He wasn't the resilient, unfeeling jerk that he portrayed to those who didn't know him well enough to see behind the façade. He had weathered many storms in his young life but unlike the tree his abrasions didn't heal, instead they festered and seeped their disease into his perception of everything.

 

Kikyo's death only ripped the hole inside of him wider spreading the void. And to watch her death twice… there weren't words to describe how that felt.

 

It didn't matter that Kikyo was only a pale copy of the woman she had been. I didn't matter that her motives were questionable or that she was driven by unnatural evil. When he looked at her he couldn't help but see the past, see the young girl who was his most precious treasure high on her pedestal of perfection. It wasn't real but it felt real enough.

 

There was barely enough of her remains left to bury. In the end she was even denied that measure of respect and it tore at him.

 

With a heavy sigh he settled at the base of the tree, tucking his arms into his haori in his trademark fashion. Birds chirped, forest critters scampered about, even the mid-day sun shone brightly dappling through the dense leaves. Life continued with innocent abandon and yet to Inuyasha, at that moment, it felt wrong. Perhaps it would ease his devastation if he could rage and cry and just vent everything inside, but he hadn't cried since he'd been a child.

 

Suddenly another memory surfaced in his mind, a day not so long ago when his eyes had stung with tears of terror and relief as he'd watched his friends, watched Kagome, slowly revive from poison that nearly done them in. He hadn't cried but it had been the closest he'd come in years.

 

Friends…

 

For as long as he could remember that had been a foreign word to him. Now it was more familiar than he was sometimes comfortable with.

 

And Kagome…

 

She was something else all together.

 

His ears perked, the little fuzzy triangles flicking forward as the faint sound of footsteps drew him from the meanderings in his mind. He knew who they belonged to long before she came into view. Honestly he'd expected nothing less and was surprised it had taken her this long to find him.

 

He said nothing as Kagome approached, just watched her come closer pensively. She didn't ask permission to join him, they were beyond suck trivial things, as she took a seat on the ground beside him.

 

“You shouldn't be up and about yet wench.”

 

Kagome gave him a sidelong glance and smirked. “I'm fine. You made sure of that.”

 

“Keh.” He blushed.

 

What the hell was he supposed to say to that? He didn't do it for her praise or even because it was the right thing to do. He did it because not doing it wasn't an option. She didn't need to look at him like that, with that knowing look that said she could read him more easily than one of her study books from the future.

 

They lapsed into silence once again and not for the first time he noticed how comfortable he was just to be with her. They didn't have to touch because just having her there was enough. In a way it was like the acceptance he'd experienced with Kikyo but at the same time it was just as different. He's always minded his behavior with Kikyo. Actually he spoke little. She was the one who led him into conversation. And more often than not they didn't speak, yet the silence wasn't always comfortable.

 

“Inuyasha… do you want to talk about it?” Her quiet question brought him out of his reverie and he nodded.

 

“Did Kikyo…” he swallowed hard, “If Kikyo had tried to hurt you, you would tell me right?” He turned to her trying to judge her reaction as his question sank in.

 

Kagome opened her mouth then closed it again as she fumbled to answer the simple question. “Yes… but I… what does this have to with what happened yesterday? I don't understand.”

 

“You don't remember anything? You're not just lying to make me feel better?”

 

“Inuyasha!” she exclaimed more than a bit piqued, “You know I wouldn't lie to you. I don't remember what happened, honest. Why don't you try telling me what it is I'm supposed to remember?”

 

He frowned. “That fucking bitch of a soul-stealer said that Kikyo tried to take your soul first and that gave her what she needed to take it instead. I don't know if I should believe that or not. But if Kikyo did I'd want you to tell me…”

 

Kagome moved closer, and would have giggled if it weren't such a somber moment, as another blush rose up her hanyou's cheeks as she slipped her arms through his folded one and leaned against him. “I can't say if she did or not so let's give her the benefit of the doubt okay?”

 

A small smile curved his lips as he nodded, satisfied with her answer.

 

Glancing up at his profile Kagome nibbled nervously on her bottom lip trying to find the best way to broach what she felt needed to be discussed. There was no easy way to do it so she started by saying how she felt. “I'm sorry Inuyasha.”

 

He glanced down at her. “For what?”

 

“It took us more than a year to complete the Shikon no Tama and I'm sorry you had to waste your wish on me.” There she said it.

 

It was his turn to look a bit peeved. “Don't be fucking stupid Kagome! You think I was gonna let you die or something?”

 

“No, that's not what I meant. I know you'd never let anything happen to me… its just… you could have had anything you wanted and instead… I made you waste it. For that I'm sorry.”

 

Inuyasha shrugged, “Don't be. I got what I really wanted.”

 

He wouldn't dare look at her as he spoke but the sincerity was in his voice all the same. As she watched as his face turned even redder until finally he cursed, closing his eyes a sighing deeply.

 

Unable to stop the wide smile spreading across her face Kagome asked, “Well what were you going to wish for, before I mean.”

 

“That the well would stay open so you could always come back to us.” to me… he grunted.

 

Kagome could have squealed in delight, and she would have if his answer hadn't brought up a possible, unpleasant repercussion. “Now that the jewel has been purified… what if the well closes?”

 

“I don't know…” he replied uneasily, “I wished for you to live the life you choose. Maybe the choice is yours…”

 

Inuyasha had tossed the ball to her, so to say. Now it was up to her. He wouldn't ask her to stay. He wouldn't ask her to come back if she left. She said she wanted to stay by his side and if she still felt that way, and he hoped to the gods that she did, then it was her choice to make.

 

He could feel her watching him closely and he waited for what she would say…

 

Only before Kagome had the chance to speak Inuyasha caught whiff of a scent that had him snarling quite viciously. There was only one asshole that smelled of wolf and had the worst timing in the fucking world. With no jewel shard to alert her of the wimpy wolf's approach, Kagome gasped in surprise at his reaction as he pulled away from her and jumped to his feet.

 

Barely a moment later the wolf prince came tearing through the trees, though moving much slower without his shards, and instantly spotted them at the Goshinbu tree.

 

It was obvious Inuyasha's protective stance was dismissed by the wolf as Kouga flashed Kagome a winning smile and said with his usual confidence, “Oi dog shit, move aside. I've come to collect my woman!”

 

 

A.N. - While I was happy that Kouga made a classy exit in the manga a few chapters back that doesn't mean I'm not above having my favorite demon and my favorite hanyou duke it out for Kagome. A girl can fantasize right?

 

Thanks for reading!