Love Hina Fan Fiction ❯ Immortality Sucks ❯ Why me? ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: nomadicone 
Keitaro is asked to help out with other much more talented heroes, much to his dismay and Naru's displeasure.
Anime/Manga: Love Hina Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 02.17.2005 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.7K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Work In Progress
Keitaro is asked to help out with other much more talented heroes, much to his dismay and Naru's displeasure.
Anime/Manga: Love Hina Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 02.17.2005 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.7K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Work In Progress
A/N: First off, I don’t own any of the characters in Love Hina, Ranma or any of the other anime I’ll be crossing with in this fiction.
Now then, I just wanted to branch out a bit from my Tenchi fic and do something a bit more light hearted and given my current obsession with Love Hina (Motoko in particular) I figured that this would be a good way to stretch the ole’ noodle and see what happens. Hope you all enjoy it.
“It would seem that they don’t know what to do about it either.” said the man, nodding towards a 7 fingered claw that tentatively stretched from the cloud.
The woman shook her head, her face set in a stern expression though her eyes bore a deep kindness. “It would have to happen now, just when we’re pulled to thin. Best guess on when they figure it out?” she asked quietly, her voice was melodic.
Shrugging the man gave an easy smile, “Beats me bosslady, but I wouldn’t give them more then a week at most. Safer to say 48 to 72 hours to cover our bases.” he replied, running a hand through his short cut blonde hair, his bright blue eyes dancing in the light.
She gave him a crooked smile at the man’s nature, “Still not taking this seriously huh?” she teased, knowing full well how serious he took his duties.
He shrugged, “You know me.” he chuckled, enjoying the banter. “It’s good to be home Chase.” he told her quietly, his face dropping the smile as he admitted the deep sentiments.
“It’s good to have you here again Bill.” she responded to him as she touched his shoulder comfortingly. “What do you suggest, you know what we’re up against at the moment.” she asked quietly, tossing her head in the direction of the rip in the sky.
Bill’s face grew serious, showing an intelligence that was rarely allowed to be seen. “I would say we find the one’s that have the most to lose out of this and get their help. Given the location of the anomaly and the amount of heroes in the area, shouldn’t be too big a stretch to think that they’d jump in to help save their homes.” he said, pulling up another holodisplay and showing several blinking circles that represented the people he was referring to.
Chase nodded in agreement, “I think that’s a good idea as well, however,” she paused, bringing a delicate finger to her lips. “I’m not sure that some of these heroes are going to just take our word for it. I’d rather not have a repeat of Carthage.” said the woman, suppressing a shudder at the memory.
The man smiled and had the decency to blush, “I told you before that I was sorry about that.” he told her with a shrug. “This time we’ve got a few more assets in place that will be able to help us convince them. I’ll get in contact with them and have them meet up in the usual spot, unless you’ve got something else in mind?” he asked, directing a questioning look at her.
She paused for a moment, then shook her head, “No, I think that we should find them on grounds they find familiar, the less of a shock to them the better. They’re about to find out that their world is a whole lot smaller then they believed anyways, no use scaring the hell out of them totally.” Chase said, pushing the debacle of Carthage and it’s aftermath from her mind.
“Okie Dokie. I’m on it like white on rice.” he said, smiling widely at her and bowing at the waist.
Chase suppressed a groan at the man’s antics, covering her face with her hand. “Can’t you come up with some new ones? Please?” she begged into her palm as the man left the room with a belly laugh.
Hinata Sou...
Keitaro walked tiredly up the stairs that led to the Inn, his eyes on his feet as he walked. ‘Oh man, now what?’ he thought, the sight of his prep school grade flashing merrily through his mind. ‘All that studying for nothing...Naru is gonna kill me...’ he thought morosely, eyes finally seeing that he’d reached the top of the stairs.
The sight of the old inn was comforting, in more than one sense it felt like a true home to him, even more so than his parents place. Steeling himself, the optimistic manager of the all girls dorm walked through the door, and right into a kick in the head from a flying blonde haired girl.
“Heya Keitaro!” cried the rambunctious blonde, following up her initial strike with a second kick, this one launching him forward in to the stairs.
The man landed with a shuddering crash that left a vaguely Keitaro sized impression in the sturdy stairs. Slowly picking himself up, he spit out the wooden splinters that had ended up in his mouth. “Su! That hurt!” he said, exasperated at being slammed into large stationary objects again.
The young girl just giggled happily as she launched himself on top of him, wrapping her supernaturally strong legs around his midsection while holding onto his neck with her arms. “I’m bored Keitaro, come play with me!” she said, putting her face within millimeters of his, her eyes wide and innocent.
‘Great, looks like Sara left again with Seto...’ Keitaro’s mind told him numbly, wondering how much pain and suffering he was about to suffer because of this. “Maybe later Su, right now I’ve got to get changed and clean the hot springs before dinner.” he said, hoping that both the mention of the hot spring and dinner would distract her. ‘And maybe save me some bruises.’ he said to himself, hoping against hope.
“Naru and Mitsune are both in the hot spring right now. C’mon I’ve got a brand new MechaTama I want you to see!” she told him, her smile wide as she launched herself up to his shoulders and then up the broken set of stairs.
Unfortunately for Keitaro the movement of the girl had a rather adverse effect in that it succeeded in driving him back into the floor once more. Flipping himself over onto his back, he idly picked up a few spare fragments of wood that had found their way into his hair and looked up to the ceiling. “What did I do?” he asked the gods above, wondering who’s cereal he’d urinated in during a past life to deserve the tortures he underwent.
The ominous sound of a hydraulics releasing sudden pressure followed the shaking of the very foundations of the inn spurred the put upon young man from his position on the ground and sent him at top speeds through the kitchen.
Shinobu was just finishing the last of the evening meal as she saw Keitaro-sempai race through the room, giving her his normal greeting for the day.
“HeyShinobuitsmellsreallygreatsorryIcan’tchatseey ouatdinner!” he said in a blur of words and motion as he raced by.
The impressionable young girl blinked at the sight of him in full flight, “Hello Sempai...” she told him tentatively, once again impressed by his speed as he fled. ‘I wonder who’s after him this time?’ she thought, seconds before a rather large and heavily armed flying turtle robot roared into the kitchen.
It’s sensors not picking up it’s programmed quarry, it ignited it’s boosters in pursuit of the man known as Keitaro. Shinobu, unable to duck in time to avoid the backwash of the constructs engines was left in the minicyclone that enveloped the kitchen, sending her spinning into the wall as her mind reeled.
Keitaro raced up the stairs, hearing the dreaded sounds of energy matter conversion behind him as the MechaTama charged it’s weapons. “SU! Stop! Help!” he cried, racing down the corridors of the residents of the inn, diving frantically from side to side to avoid the incoming blasts from behind.
Su’s laughter echoed down the corridors of the inn, coupled with her chants to urge her newest and most devastating device to date against her favorite guinea pig and manager. Controlling the mecha from a respectably safe distance, she watched with unrestrained glee as Keitaro ran himself into a dead-end, or so she thought. “Wowsie! I did not know that Keitaro could fly.” she said, her surprise evident as she watched the agile and immortal young man take to flight out the open window nearby.
Typical to the long suffering and big hearted young man, he left the building with only a modicum of dignity, as a scream that should have been almost unreachable by male vocal cords sounded from his body as he crashed into the hot springs.
The splash down was enormous, reaching several feet into the air before falling down onto the assembled users of the bath. As the dazed young man floated back to the surface of the spring, his mind barely registered two distinct and life threatening sounds. First, and by far the more dangerous of the two, was the voice of his on again/off again girl friend Naru. Her voice was tinged with the red rage he’d long associated with visiting far off and exotic lands via LEO.
The second was the sound of engines whining in overdrive as the MechaTama had once more locked onto his unique bio-readings and was currently in full dive against the programmed target.
“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’m sorry!” he yelled over and over, covering his head against the impact that was impending from Naru as he frantically backpedaled.
“KEITARO! YOU PERVERT!” she screamed, rushing so fast towards the young man that she appeared to be running on the surface of the water. With blinding speed her closed fist sailed forwards and seemed to grow in size and mass as it closed on his face.
There was a rushing wind that roared through the area, intercepting Naru’s incoming blow and halting it dead in it’s tracks. Naru barely had time to register the shock before a white blur moved past her and a blinding flash lit the hot springs as the MechaTama exploded into a fireball and blackened debris well above the inn.
“What’s going on?” asked Naru, glaring at Keitaro who was now on his knees at the far side of the spring, bowing rapidly and repeatedly, his eyes clenched tightly closed as he still profusely apologized.
“It would seem that you penchant for violence and leaping to unjustified conclusions has struck again.” came a calm and pleasant voice from the side.
All talking ceased as three heads turned to look in the direction of the voice. They found a rather strikingly beautiful woman standing there dressed in a white ceremonial robe, a long and gleaming katana held in her right hand. She smiled at them, “It is good to see all is still well here at the Hinata Sou.” she said, resheathing her sword with a fluid motion and bowing to them.
Mitsune smiled at Tsuruko, “Hiya Tsuruko, what’s brings you down to our little ol’ part of town?” she asked, standing up while holding her towel to her rather well endowed chest.
Naru blinked at the older sister of Motoko, unsure of her reasoning for being there and liking the prospects given the trouble she usually brought with her. “It’s good to see you too Tsuruko.” she said, opting for the friendly approach though she still felt the need to pound on Keitaro for peeping on her and her best friend. ‘He’s SUCH a pervert! Can’t she see that?’ she questioned herself, keeping her comments wisely to herself.
“I have come to speak with my sister. Where is she currently?” asked the older woman, walking closer to the still dripping wet though no longer apologizing Keitaro with a smile.
“Um...” he replied intelligently, still wondering why he wasn’t looking at the beautiful scenery passing below him.
She smiled at the stunned young man benignly, “I am sorry for interrupting Keitaro, but having witnessed the event from the onset I felt that it would have been unfair to you. Besides, this also concerns you in a way as well.” she revealed, laughing lightly at his blush and flustered attempts to speak.
Horrible memories of almost being forced to marry Motoko against her wishes flashed through his mind, reminding him that she usually had ulterior motives for her actions.
“Just a second Tsuruko, what’re you talking about? You’re not trying to force him and Motoko together again are you?” asked the suddenly stern voice of Naru, finally finding her resolve at the mention of her interest in Keitaro. ‘He may be a pervert and a lech, but she’s not allowed to play with his life like that.’ she thought defensively, hiding the feelings of how she truly felt behind her indignation.
Tsuruko looked over at the towel clad women, a smile that spoke of toleration on her face. “It is something that does not concern you Naru, but rest assured I am not here to betroth either of them...unless they want to.” she said, her smile gentle as she played with the woman’s mind a bit.
Naru’s face grew red and her mouth opened and closed several times as she struggled to come up with a retort, finding nothing to reply with. “Like anyone would take him!” was the best she could manage, oblivious to the hurt look in Keitaro’s eyes that he quickly covered.
Mitsune smiled at them, holding in her laughter at Naru’s condition. ‘Looks like someone is still denying her attraction to the man...oh well, she’ll learn.’ she thought with a slight shrug. “C’mon on in Tsuruko. We’ll get changed and have some dinner while we wait. I’m just sure Shinobu has cooked her little heart out as usual. No one here ever misses one of HER home cooked meals.” she told the older woman as she sauntered away.
Tsuruko smiled at Naru before following the woman, not bothering to give Keitaro a second glance as she left the springs area.
Naru gave the man she cared for a look that promised pain at a future date of her choosing, before also stalking from the area all the while holding her towel to her to not allow his perverted gaze to see her naked form.
Sighing heavily, Keitaro looked up once more to the skies, “What else can go wrong today?” he asked quietly, not realizing that the gods themselves were in a mischievous mood this day.
A short time later inside the inn...
Motoko held her surprise well as she sat and watched her sister eating calmly with her house mates. “Sister. It is good to see you.” she said formally, bowing to the older woman and head of the school that their family ran.
“As it is you sister. Please sit and eat, I have something to talk about to Keitaro and yourself once we finish. It involves school business.” she said quietly, not releasing her chopsticks but looking at the younger girl with a serious expression.
Motoko nodded at the woman’s words, curious as to what would bring the woman personally rather then sending one of the family’s phoenix’s with the message. Taking her place at the table, she too began to partake of the wonderful meal that Shinobu had prepared.. Only then did the full impact of the words hit her, “Keitaro?” she asked, almost choking on the mouthful of rice she had.
Elsewhere...
“THAT is someone you want to go on this one? Are you insane?” came the incredulous voice of Chase, staring accusingly to Bill.
“Yep, you bet. That kid’s got the stuff. Check this out.” he said, smiling at her expression as he turned away from the holodisplay that showed the resident of the inn eating. He brought open another display, showing the incredible amount of damage and abuse the man had suffered without serious injury or any recovery time.
Chase’s eyes widened at both the power of the various blows he suffered but as well as the distances he covered after being hit only to walk back within 20 minutes or less. Whistling low under her breath, she shook her head and smiled. “I guess you’re right, but is that all he can do? Take a beating?” she asked again, knowing the caliber of the people he was going to be traveling with.
Looking sheepish for a moment, Bill nodded to his long time friend, “Well, yeah...I guess so.” he admitted. He looked back to the display, “He’s taken some of the hits from the best they have to offer and kept on coming. He’s got enough heart to fill a thousand battalions, just the luck that fill your average stone. A very very SMALL stone.” he told her, holding his thumb and forefinger out less then a half inch apart. He eyed her through the tiny gap, and gave her his most winning smile. “Trust me, the kid’ll be fine. Have I ever led you wrong before?” he asked, giving her a look that spoke of his innocence as he shrugged with his hands out to his sides.
“Don’t answer that.” he said suddenly as he watched her eyes light up and her mouth open.
Hinata Sou...
Tsuruko walked with the two people through the streets, finding a park that was mostly deserted nearby. Glancing around she closed her eyes and extended her chi to find anyone nearby and smiled as she sensed that there was no one within earshot.
“Something has come up Motoko, something that requires your attention as the successor to the Shinmei School.” she announced quietly, taking a seat in the middle of a three swing set. She motioned for both of her guests to take seats as well before continuing.
“We’ve always stood guard over the world, to defeat demons and spirits that most think never exist. As such we’ve many allies throughout the world that help us not only defeat these demons, but also in the locating of them as well. Recently, a place has come to light that stands a possibility of releasing several demons onto his plane.” she explained, keeping her eyes forwards as she spoke.
Motoko nodded, knowing well what her families responsibilities were and where she fit into the scheme of things.
Keitaro however looked like he would rather be anywhere else but there, with the exception of the hot springs again.
Hearing no comments or questions, the older woman continued, “As such we have been asked to work with several others in the elimination of this new threat. Keitaro, you were asked to come as well, given your rather unique status as a quasi-immortal.” she told him with a smile.
“But...I’m not...I could...” he stuttered, blinking rapidly as he tried to argue that he wasn’t immortal only really unlucky and could heal at an amazingly fast rate. ‘Okay, so I’m weird, but I’m not any match for a demon.’ he thought quickly, though he was unable to voice that thought to the woman.
“I question the intelligence of having Urashima along on this sister. He is hardly trained to deal with such threats and would only make a nuisance of himself and possibly endanger others with his presence as well.” Motoko countered, not wanting him along for reasons that had nothing to do with his unlucky streak and tendency to get into situations that were ludicrous. ‘He could be seriously injured or worse...’ her mind told her, holding the secret crush she held for the man within his mind.
“Yeah! Hey! Wait a second...” he said, realizing that what she’d said wasn’t exactly a compliment.
Tsuruko nodded at them, smiling sagely, “That is all understood, but his presence is required for this to succeed. All will become clear in the future. One must not rush into decisions without judging the possible outcomes. He is required to be there and will be going with you. Besides, it will do you both good to have a friendly face while facing horrors from beyond.” she told them, her smile fading at the mention of demons.
Sighing at them, Keitaro hung his head, not liking this idea one bit but unsure of how to get himself out of it without angering the master swords woman.
Motoko recognized the tone in her sisters voice, and accepted her words as truth, though she didn’t necessarily agree. ‘It won’t be as bad with Keitaro to talk to, even if I must defend the weakling from certain doom.’ she told herself, the thought of him accompanying her reassuring for some reason.
“Very good, we leave tonite when the moon reaches it’s zenith. Until then, rest. You will need it in the days to come.” Tsuruko told them as she stood from the swing and began to walk towards the inn once more.
She paused after a few steps, “You mustn’t tell anyone of the true nature of your mission, either of you. Should they ask, simply say that you are both chosen for a training retreat and Keitaro was invited due to his families history with the Hina Blade.” she said, giving them both a knowing smile.
Keitaro swallowed hard at the sight of the woman’s smile, wondering what exactly the woman had gotten him into. ‘This just isn’t my day.’ he thought glumly, going back to his thoughts of what he’d done wrong to deserve this.
A few hours later, on the steps leading to the inn...
“Give it a rest will ya? You know I’m not interested!” came an exasperated voice wafting up the night air.
Tsuruko opened her eyes and smiled, “They are approaching now. It is time for you to meet the others that will be accompanying you on this vital mission.” she told Keitaro and Motoko.
The two residents of the inn had spoken only briefly with the others upon their return. Actually, it was Motoko that had done most of the speaking as Keitaro had simply hung his head and mumbled his reasons for going. To say that it hadn’t gone well was an understatement, but given the unusual nature of the lives of those in the inn, it had been accepted with only a minimum of fuss.
That is, except for Naru. She hadn’t like the thought of Keitaro going off someplace with the kendo girl especially when neither of them were forthcoming with many details of the trip. It had taken a sharp rebuke by Tsuruko to bring the irate young woman into line. “You’d better not be doing anything perverted Keitaro...” she’d muttered darkly, oblivious to the fact that he’d be traveling with Motoko, the second place contestant to the Blasting Keitaro for Distance Event.
Motoko stood as she made out three vague figures walking slowly towards them, her keen eyesight picking them out from the shadows well before Keitaro. The voices were low, one obviously female and attached to an also obviously disgruntled male. The third was taller then the other two, and stood off to the side from them, pointedly ignoring them while paying close attention to their actions.
“Yep, that’s the rest of your party.” said a new voice, chipper in the night air.
Tsuruko turned slowly, used to the appearance of the man by this point though her two charges whirled in surprise. Keitaro barely concealing the yelp of surprise while Motoko had her katana in hand in the blink of an eye as she faced the man.
He was dressed in a simple black tee shirt and dark jeans, his blonde hair close cut and a happy go lucky smile on his face. “Howdy!” he said, winking at them with a nod.
“It would be more prudent to alert them of your comings and goings lest you startle them into action.” advised Tsuruko, bowing slightly to the man as she smiled.
“Aw, c’mon now. Where’s the fun in that?” he asked, chuckling lightly at the rather varied expressions on the faces of Motoko and Keitaro. “I’m Bill, the ring leader of this little shindig. Good to meecha!” he told them happily, oblivious to the glare of doom from Motoko.
“You too.” said Keitaro, trying to slow his racing heart beat from the shock of getting snuck up on like that.
“HEY! You wanna tell us what’s going on around here and why the hell we’re meeting in the middle of no where?” asked a well built young man, his facial expression annoyed.
A rather striking girl was hanging on his arm, her face too cute for words. Her hair was long and even in the dim lighting it was easy to make out that is was a unique lavender shade. “Nihao!” she said, smiling brightly at everyone, not once relinquishing her grip on the aggravated young man.
“Surely the gods have smiled upon us this eve as they have delivered into my presence an angel that is graceful and pure. I will endeavor to uphold your honor from the most vile and treacherous of all males, though I must warn thee that mine heart is spoken for so you must only admire my skill and righteousness from a far, though your desires may be all consuming.” said the taller man, holding his sword before him as he pledged to Motoko, who only gave him a glare as her brow twitched in irritation.
“Will ya PLEASE just shuddup already Kuno? Geez...” muttered the young man, rolling his eyes to the heavens at the man’s posturing.
“Saotome! You have defiled too many of the fair and chaste maidens with your sorcerous way and foul magics. I will not have you despoiling the honor and purity of one such as this maiden who thinks that she may wield the blade as well as I, the Mighty Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!” he intoned, raising his sword to the heavens, a bolt of lightning splitting the sky though there were no clouds.
It took great skill and speed for both Bill and Tsuruko to grab and hold Motoko back from skewering the arrogant man as he stood there, her face a mask of anger.
“Um, Kuno? I’d be quiet now if I were you.” came the strained voice of Bill, wondering how someone this small could have this much strength. ‘Well, we are talking about Kuno though...’ he though remembering how the guy could make Ghandi want to get mediaeval on him.
Realizing that they were missing one more, Bill looked around quickly, “Where’s Ryoga?” he asked, glancing back at the young man.
“P-chan is doing his 29th world tour at the moment, but I wouldn’t put it past him to show up later. He’s got the worst luck but still tends to show up at the worst possible moment.” said the man, still trying to disengage himself from the woman.
Bill chuckled as he finally released the swords woman, “I shoulda figured that.” he admitted, then looked at the two groups.
“Okay, introductions. This here is Ranma Saotome, Shampoo and Tatewaki Kuno. They’re from Nerima and are quite the warriors in their own right.” he said, pointing to the three new arrivals.
Ranma and Shampoo laughed and pointed to the kendo boy as he was lumped into the warrior category, causing the man to shake in rage as his left eyebrow twitch. Heading off another tirade by the long winded man, Bill broke in to introduce the other two.
“This is Keitaro Urashima and Motoko Aoyama. She’s possibly the best swordswoman on the islands...uh, no offense there Tsuruko.” he said, eyeing the woman warily as her hand strayed to her sword.
“What about him?” asked Ranma giving Keitaro the once over, not seeing any visible threat from the unimposing young man.
Bill smiled at them, “He’s kinda unique, but I’m sure you’ll get to know each other since I’ve paired him with you this time.” he told the man.
Shampoo’s brow furrowed as she released Ranma and walked over to Keitaro, her dress showing off her rather voluptuous assets along with a lot of leg from the slit in her Chinese style dress. “Shampoo wonder why weak boy stay with Ranma. Shampoo want stay with Ranma, weak boy go with big mouth.” she said pointedly, poking him in the right arm and drawing a small ‘Ouch’ and him rubbing the spot she’d touched.
Before anyone could say a word about that, a voice screamed in rage from behind them, “KEITARO! YOU PERVERT!” and a blurred form raced towards them.
Naru had been silently observing them from the window in the front of the inn, watching in growing annoyance as the second group had showed up. Seeing the way the new girl was dressed and then approaching Keitaro to touch him had sparked her pervert radar and a million and one possible scenarios ran through her mind. All of them involved the man ogling the molesting the girl infront of everyone.
With her normal cry of rage, she leapt from the window and ran towards him, launching into a spinning kick that would have done any martial artist proud. Before the startled people could even move or voice a complaint, Keitaro was disappearing into the twinkling event horizon once more visiting LEO via NaruAir.
Ranma and crew had dropped into a ready stance at the cry, expecting to be ambushed by the attacker and such were caught totally off guard by the strike and subsequent launching of Keitaro.
Bill and Tsuruko held a finger and thumb to the bridge of their respective noses, shaking their heads sadly but not speaking.
Motoko blinked at the actions, her blush barely visible at having watched Keitaro launched for what was obviously a misunderstanding. She gave Naru a wide eyed look, “He had not done anything Naru.” she told her friend, feeling a pang of...something at watching her strike Keitaro.
Ranma whistled as he raised his hand to watch with admiration at the height and distance she’d gotten with the young man. “Wow! You didn’t even use a mallet.” he said, wincing as he saw the landing and resulting minor mushroom cloud.
“Okay, I see why now you want him along. He can hang with me.” he said, turning and giving Bill a smile. ‘Besides, it’s ‘bout time I found someone else that gets shot into orbit for no good reason.’ he thought, happy at finding a kindred spirit.
Naru blushed under the sudden scrutiny, taking several side steps back from the group, “Um...I’ll be going now...have a nice night.” she said, before walking quickly back to the inn and disappearing into the inn.
“And Shampoo thought Nerima weird.” said the Chinese amazon in her sing song voice, watching what could only be considered the cosmic twin of one Akane Tendo.
End of chapter notes: I know that some of the characters may seem OOC, but this is an AU as well as a crossover, so cut me some slack :) Also, No I’m not a Naru basher at all, in fact I like the character, I just happen to like Motoko more. There will be many anime’s I’m crossing with in this story, I just thought I’d give poor Keitaro a buddy and kindred spirit in fellow LEO traveler Ranma.
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Now then, I just wanted to branch out a bit from my Tenchi fic and do something a bit more light hearted and given my current obsession with Love Hina (Motoko in particular) I figured that this would be a good way to stretch the ole’ noodle and see what happens. Hope you all enjoy it.
Immortality Sucks
The silence of the room was deafening, holding the two people within it’s embrace. The man and woman looked at the hovering screen before them, a holographic depiction playing before them of something born of nightmares. The sky had been rent, a jagged gaping hole that revealed a swirling mass of black/gray clouds and roiled and bubbled as if alive. From the clouds came the hazy outlines of creatures that were only vaguely humanoid, not leaving the safety of the clouds but always coming closer and closer to the edge of the hole in the sky.“It would seem that they don’t know what to do about it either.” said the man, nodding towards a 7 fingered claw that tentatively stretched from the cloud.
The woman shook her head, her face set in a stern expression though her eyes bore a deep kindness. “It would have to happen now, just when we’re pulled to thin. Best guess on when they figure it out?” she asked quietly, her voice was melodic.
Shrugging the man gave an easy smile, “Beats me bosslady, but I wouldn’t give them more then a week at most. Safer to say 48 to 72 hours to cover our bases.” he replied, running a hand through his short cut blonde hair, his bright blue eyes dancing in the light.
She gave him a crooked smile at the man’s nature, “Still not taking this seriously huh?” she teased, knowing full well how serious he took his duties.
He shrugged, “You know me.” he chuckled, enjoying the banter. “It’s good to be home Chase.” he told her quietly, his face dropping the smile as he admitted the deep sentiments.
“It’s good to have you here again Bill.” she responded to him as she touched his shoulder comfortingly. “What do you suggest, you know what we’re up against at the moment.” she asked quietly, tossing her head in the direction of the rip in the sky.
Bill’s face grew serious, showing an intelligence that was rarely allowed to be seen. “I would say we find the one’s that have the most to lose out of this and get their help. Given the location of the anomaly and the amount of heroes in the area, shouldn’t be too big a stretch to think that they’d jump in to help save their homes.” he said, pulling up another holodisplay and showing several blinking circles that represented the people he was referring to.
Chase nodded in agreement, “I think that’s a good idea as well, however,” she paused, bringing a delicate finger to her lips. “I’m not sure that some of these heroes are going to just take our word for it. I’d rather not have a repeat of Carthage.” said the woman, suppressing a shudder at the memory.
The man smiled and had the decency to blush, “I told you before that I was sorry about that.” he told her with a shrug. “This time we’ve got a few more assets in place that will be able to help us convince them. I’ll get in contact with them and have them meet up in the usual spot, unless you’ve got something else in mind?” he asked, directing a questioning look at her.
She paused for a moment, then shook her head, “No, I think that we should find them on grounds they find familiar, the less of a shock to them the better. They’re about to find out that their world is a whole lot smaller then they believed anyways, no use scaring the hell out of them totally.” Chase said, pushing the debacle of Carthage and it’s aftermath from her mind.
“Okie Dokie. I’m on it like white on rice.” he said, smiling widely at her and bowing at the waist.
Chase suppressed a groan at the man’s antics, covering her face with her hand. “Can’t you come up with some new ones? Please?” she begged into her palm as the man left the room with a belly laugh.
Hinata Sou...
Keitaro walked tiredly up the stairs that led to the Inn, his eyes on his feet as he walked. ‘Oh man, now what?’ he thought, the sight of his prep school grade flashing merrily through his mind. ‘All that studying for nothing...Naru is gonna kill me...’ he thought morosely, eyes finally seeing that he’d reached the top of the stairs.
The sight of the old inn was comforting, in more than one sense it felt like a true home to him, even more so than his parents place. Steeling himself, the optimistic manager of the all girls dorm walked through the door, and right into a kick in the head from a flying blonde haired girl.
“Heya Keitaro!” cried the rambunctious blonde, following up her initial strike with a second kick, this one launching him forward in to the stairs.
The man landed with a shuddering crash that left a vaguely Keitaro sized impression in the sturdy stairs. Slowly picking himself up, he spit out the wooden splinters that had ended up in his mouth. “Su! That hurt!” he said, exasperated at being slammed into large stationary objects again.
The young girl just giggled happily as she launched himself on top of him, wrapping her supernaturally strong legs around his midsection while holding onto his neck with her arms. “I’m bored Keitaro, come play with me!” she said, putting her face within millimeters of his, her eyes wide and innocent.
‘Great, looks like Sara left again with Seto...’ Keitaro’s mind told him numbly, wondering how much pain and suffering he was about to suffer because of this. “Maybe later Su, right now I’ve got to get changed and clean the hot springs before dinner.” he said, hoping that both the mention of the hot spring and dinner would distract her. ‘And maybe save me some bruises.’ he said to himself, hoping against hope.
“Naru and Mitsune are both in the hot spring right now. C’mon I’ve got a brand new MechaTama I want you to see!” she told him, her smile wide as she launched herself up to his shoulders and then up the broken set of stairs.
Unfortunately for Keitaro the movement of the girl had a rather adverse effect in that it succeeded in driving him back into the floor once more. Flipping himself over onto his back, he idly picked up a few spare fragments of wood that had found their way into his hair and looked up to the ceiling. “What did I do?” he asked the gods above, wondering who’s cereal he’d urinated in during a past life to deserve the tortures he underwent.
The ominous sound of a hydraulics releasing sudden pressure followed the shaking of the very foundations of the inn spurred the put upon young man from his position on the ground and sent him at top speeds through the kitchen.
Shinobu was just finishing the last of the evening meal as she saw Keitaro-sempai race through the room, giving her his normal greeting for the day.
“HeyShinobuitsmellsreallygreatsorryIcan’tchatseey ouatdinner!” he said in a blur of words and motion as he raced by.
The impressionable young girl blinked at the sight of him in full flight, “Hello Sempai...” she told him tentatively, once again impressed by his speed as he fled. ‘I wonder who’s after him this time?’ she thought, seconds before a rather large and heavily armed flying turtle robot roared into the kitchen.
It’s sensors not picking up it’s programmed quarry, it ignited it’s boosters in pursuit of the man known as Keitaro. Shinobu, unable to duck in time to avoid the backwash of the constructs engines was left in the minicyclone that enveloped the kitchen, sending her spinning into the wall as her mind reeled.
Keitaro raced up the stairs, hearing the dreaded sounds of energy matter conversion behind him as the MechaTama charged it’s weapons. “SU! Stop! Help!” he cried, racing down the corridors of the residents of the inn, diving frantically from side to side to avoid the incoming blasts from behind.
Su’s laughter echoed down the corridors of the inn, coupled with her chants to urge her newest and most devastating device to date against her favorite guinea pig and manager. Controlling the mecha from a respectably safe distance, she watched with unrestrained glee as Keitaro ran himself into a dead-end, or so she thought. “Wowsie! I did not know that Keitaro could fly.” she said, her surprise evident as she watched the agile and immortal young man take to flight out the open window nearby.
Typical to the long suffering and big hearted young man, he left the building with only a modicum of dignity, as a scream that should have been almost unreachable by male vocal cords sounded from his body as he crashed into the hot springs.
The splash down was enormous, reaching several feet into the air before falling down onto the assembled users of the bath. As the dazed young man floated back to the surface of the spring, his mind barely registered two distinct and life threatening sounds. First, and by far the more dangerous of the two, was the voice of his on again/off again girl friend Naru. Her voice was tinged with the red rage he’d long associated with visiting far off and exotic lands via LEO.
The second was the sound of engines whining in overdrive as the MechaTama had once more locked onto his unique bio-readings and was currently in full dive against the programmed target.
“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’m sorry!” he yelled over and over, covering his head against the impact that was impending from Naru as he frantically backpedaled.
“KEITARO! YOU PERVERT!” she screamed, rushing so fast towards the young man that she appeared to be running on the surface of the water. With blinding speed her closed fist sailed forwards and seemed to grow in size and mass as it closed on his face.
There was a rushing wind that roared through the area, intercepting Naru’s incoming blow and halting it dead in it’s tracks. Naru barely had time to register the shock before a white blur moved past her and a blinding flash lit the hot springs as the MechaTama exploded into a fireball and blackened debris well above the inn.
“What’s going on?” asked Naru, glaring at Keitaro who was now on his knees at the far side of the spring, bowing rapidly and repeatedly, his eyes clenched tightly closed as he still profusely apologized.
“It would seem that you penchant for violence and leaping to unjustified conclusions has struck again.” came a calm and pleasant voice from the side.
All talking ceased as three heads turned to look in the direction of the voice. They found a rather strikingly beautiful woman standing there dressed in a white ceremonial robe, a long and gleaming katana held in her right hand. She smiled at them, “It is good to see all is still well here at the Hinata Sou.” she said, resheathing her sword with a fluid motion and bowing to them.
Mitsune smiled at Tsuruko, “Hiya Tsuruko, what’s brings you down to our little ol’ part of town?” she asked, standing up while holding her towel to her rather well endowed chest.
Naru blinked at the older sister of Motoko, unsure of her reasoning for being there and liking the prospects given the trouble she usually brought with her. “It’s good to see you too Tsuruko.” she said, opting for the friendly approach though she still felt the need to pound on Keitaro for peeping on her and her best friend. ‘He’s SUCH a pervert! Can’t she see that?’ she questioned herself, keeping her comments wisely to herself.
“I have come to speak with my sister. Where is she currently?” asked the older woman, walking closer to the still dripping wet though no longer apologizing Keitaro with a smile.
“Um...” he replied intelligently, still wondering why he wasn’t looking at the beautiful scenery passing below him.
She smiled at the stunned young man benignly, “I am sorry for interrupting Keitaro, but having witnessed the event from the onset I felt that it would have been unfair to you. Besides, this also concerns you in a way as well.” she revealed, laughing lightly at his blush and flustered attempts to speak.
Horrible memories of almost being forced to marry Motoko against her wishes flashed through his mind, reminding him that she usually had ulterior motives for her actions.
“Just a second Tsuruko, what’re you talking about? You’re not trying to force him and Motoko together again are you?” asked the suddenly stern voice of Naru, finally finding her resolve at the mention of her interest in Keitaro. ‘He may be a pervert and a lech, but she’s not allowed to play with his life like that.’ she thought defensively, hiding the feelings of how she truly felt behind her indignation.
Tsuruko looked over at the towel clad women, a smile that spoke of toleration on her face. “It is something that does not concern you Naru, but rest assured I am not here to betroth either of them...unless they want to.” she said, her smile gentle as she played with the woman’s mind a bit.
Naru’s face grew red and her mouth opened and closed several times as she struggled to come up with a retort, finding nothing to reply with. “Like anyone would take him!” was the best she could manage, oblivious to the hurt look in Keitaro’s eyes that he quickly covered.
Mitsune smiled at them, holding in her laughter at Naru’s condition. ‘Looks like someone is still denying her attraction to the man...oh well, she’ll learn.’ she thought with a slight shrug. “C’mon on in Tsuruko. We’ll get changed and have some dinner while we wait. I’m just sure Shinobu has cooked her little heart out as usual. No one here ever misses one of HER home cooked meals.” she told the older woman as she sauntered away.
Tsuruko smiled at Naru before following the woman, not bothering to give Keitaro a second glance as she left the springs area.
Naru gave the man she cared for a look that promised pain at a future date of her choosing, before also stalking from the area all the while holding her towel to her to not allow his perverted gaze to see her naked form.
Sighing heavily, Keitaro looked up once more to the skies, “What else can go wrong today?” he asked quietly, not realizing that the gods themselves were in a mischievous mood this day.
A short time later inside the inn...
Motoko held her surprise well as she sat and watched her sister eating calmly with her house mates. “Sister. It is good to see you.” she said formally, bowing to the older woman and head of the school that their family ran.
“As it is you sister. Please sit and eat, I have something to talk about to Keitaro and yourself once we finish. It involves school business.” she said quietly, not releasing her chopsticks but looking at the younger girl with a serious expression.
Motoko nodded at the woman’s words, curious as to what would bring the woman personally rather then sending one of the family’s phoenix’s with the message. Taking her place at the table, she too began to partake of the wonderful meal that Shinobu had prepared.. Only then did the full impact of the words hit her, “Keitaro?” she asked, almost choking on the mouthful of rice she had.
Elsewhere...
“THAT is someone you want to go on this one? Are you insane?” came the incredulous voice of Chase, staring accusingly to Bill.
“Yep, you bet. That kid’s got the stuff. Check this out.” he said, smiling at her expression as he turned away from the holodisplay that showed the resident of the inn eating. He brought open another display, showing the incredible amount of damage and abuse the man had suffered without serious injury or any recovery time.
Chase’s eyes widened at both the power of the various blows he suffered but as well as the distances he covered after being hit only to walk back within 20 minutes or less. Whistling low under her breath, she shook her head and smiled. “I guess you’re right, but is that all he can do? Take a beating?” she asked again, knowing the caliber of the people he was going to be traveling with.
Looking sheepish for a moment, Bill nodded to his long time friend, “Well, yeah...I guess so.” he admitted. He looked back to the display, “He’s taken some of the hits from the best they have to offer and kept on coming. He’s got enough heart to fill a thousand battalions, just the luck that fill your average stone. A very very SMALL stone.” he told her, holding his thumb and forefinger out less then a half inch apart. He eyed her through the tiny gap, and gave her his most winning smile. “Trust me, the kid’ll be fine. Have I ever led you wrong before?” he asked, giving her a look that spoke of his innocence as he shrugged with his hands out to his sides.
“Don’t answer that.” he said suddenly as he watched her eyes light up and her mouth open.
Hinata Sou...
Tsuruko walked with the two people through the streets, finding a park that was mostly deserted nearby. Glancing around she closed her eyes and extended her chi to find anyone nearby and smiled as she sensed that there was no one within earshot.
“Something has come up Motoko, something that requires your attention as the successor to the Shinmei School.” she announced quietly, taking a seat in the middle of a three swing set. She motioned for both of her guests to take seats as well before continuing.
“We’ve always stood guard over the world, to defeat demons and spirits that most think never exist. As such we’ve many allies throughout the world that help us not only defeat these demons, but also in the locating of them as well. Recently, a place has come to light that stands a possibility of releasing several demons onto his plane.” she explained, keeping her eyes forwards as she spoke.
Motoko nodded, knowing well what her families responsibilities were and where she fit into the scheme of things.
Keitaro however looked like he would rather be anywhere else but there, with the exception of the hot springs again.
Hearing no comments or questions, the older woman continued, “As such we have been asked to work with several others in the elimination of this new threat. Keitaro, you were asked to come as well, given your rather unique status as a quasi-immortal.” she told him with a smile.
“But...I’m not...I could...” he stuttered, blinking rapidly as he tried to argue that he wasn’t immortal only really unlucky and could heal at an amazingly fast rate. ‘Okay, so I’m weird, but I’m not any match for a demon.’ he thought quickly, though he was unable to voice that thought to the woman.
“I question the intelligence of having Urashima along on this sister. He is hardly trained to deal with such threats and would only make a nuisance of himself and possibly endanger others with his presence as well.” Motoko countered, not wanting him along for reasons that had nothing to do with his unlucky streak and tendency to get into situations that were ludicrous. ‘He could be seriously injured or worse...’ her mind told her, holding the secret crush she held for the man within his mind.
“Yeah! Hey! Wait a second...” he said, realizing that what she’d said wasn’t exactly a compliment.
Tsuruko nodded at them, smiling sagely, “That is all understood, but his presence is required for this to succeed. All will become clear in the future. One must not rush into decisions without judging the possible outcomes. He is required to be there and will be going with you. Besides, it will do you both good to have a friendly face while facing horrors from beyond.” she told them, her smile fading at the mention of demons.
Sighing at them, Keitaro hung his head, not liking this idea one bit but unsure of how to get himself out of it without angering the master swords woman.
Motoko recognized the tone in her sisters voice, and accepted her words as truth, though she didn’t necessarily agree. ‘It won’t be as bad with Keitaro to talk to, even if I must defend the weakling from certain doom.’ she told herself, the thought of him accompanying her reassuring for some reason.
“Very good, we leave tonite when the moon reaches it’s zenith. Until then, rest. You will need it in the days to come.” Tsuruko told them as she stood from the swing and began to walk towards the inn once more.
She paused after a few steps, “You mustn’t tell anyone of the true nature of your mission, either of you. Should they ask, simply say that you are both chosen for a training retreat and Keitaro was invited due to his families history with the Hina Blade.” she said, giving them both a knowing smile.
Keitaro swallowed hard at the sight of the woman’s smile, wondering what exactly the woman had gotten him into. ‘This just isn’t my day.’ he thought glumly, going back to his thoughts of what he’d done wrong to deserve this.
A few hours later, on the steps leading to the inn...
“Give it a rest will ya? You know I’m not interested!” came an exasperated voice wafting up the night air.
Tsuruko opened her eyes and smiled, “They are approaching now. It is time for you to meet the others that will be accompanying you on this vital mission.” she told Keitaro and Motoko.
The two residents of the inn had spoken only briefly with the others upon their return. Actually, it was Motoko that had done most of the speaking as Keitaro had simply hung his head and mumbled his reasons for going. To say that it hadn’t gone well was an understatement, but given the unusual nature of the lives of those in the inn, it had been accepted with only a minimum of fuss.
That is, except for Naru. She hadn’t like the thought of Keitaro going off someplace with the kendo girl especially when neither of them were forthcoming with many details of the trip. It had taken a sharp rebuke by Tsuruko to bring the irate young woman into line. “You’d better not be doing anything perverted Keitaro...” she’d muttered darkly, oblivious to the fact that he’d be traveling with Motoko, the second place contestant to the Blasting Keitaro for Distance Event.
Motoko stood as she made out three vague figures walking slowly towards them, her keen eyesight picking them out from the shadows well before Keitaro. The voices were low, one obviously female and attached to an also obviously disgruntled male. The third was taller then the other two, and stood off to the side from them, pointedly ignoring them while paying close attention to their actions.
“Yep, that’s the rest of your party.” said a new voice, chipper in the night air.
Tsuruko turned slowly, used to the appearance of the man by this point though her two charges whirled in surprise. Keitaro barely concealing the yelp of surprise while Motoko had her katana in hand in the blink of an eye as she faced the man.
He was dressed in a simple black tee shirt and dark jeans, his blonde hair close cut and a happy go lucky smile on his face. “Howdy!” he said, winking at them with a nod.
“It would be more prudent to alert them of your comings and goings lest you startle them into action.” advised Tsuruko, bowing slightly to the man as she smiled.
“Aw, c’mon now. Where’s the fun in that?” he asked, chuckling lightly at the rather varied expressions on the faces of Motoko and Keitaro. “I’m Bill, the ring leader of this little shindig. Good to meecha!” he told them happily, oblivious to the glare of doom from Motoko.
“You too.” said Keitaro, trying to slow his racing heart beat from the shock of getting snuck up on like that.
“HEY! You wanna tell us what’s going on around here and why the hell we’re meeting in the middle of no where?” asked a well built young man, his facial expression annoyed.
A rather striking girl was hanging on his arm, her face too cute for words. Her hair was long and even in the dim lighting it was easy to make out that is was a unique lavender shade. “Nihao!” she said, smiling brightly at everyone, not once relinquishing her grip on the aggravated young man.
“Surely the gods have smiled upon us this eve as they have delivered into my presence an angel that is graceful and pure. I will endeavor to uphold your honor from the most vile and treacherous of all males, though I must warn thee that mine heart is spoken for so you must only admire my skill and righteousness from a far, though your desires may be all consuming.” said the taller man, holding his sword before him as he pledged to Motoko, who only gave him a glare as her brow twitched in irritation.
“Will ya PLEASE just shuddup already Kuno? Geez...” muttered the young man, rolling his eyes to the heavens at the man’s posturing.
“Saotome! You have defiled too many of the fair and chaste maidens with your sorcerous way and foul magics. I will not have you despoiling the honor and purity of one such as this maiden who thinks that she may wield the blade as well as I, the Mighty Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!” he intoned, raising his sword to the heavens, a bolt of lightning splitting the sky though there were no clouds.
It took great skill and speed for both Bill and Tsuruko to grab and hold Motoko back from skewering the arrogant man as he stood there, her face a mask of anger.
“Um, Kuno? I’d be quiet now if I were you.” came the strained voice of Bill, wondering how someone this small could have this much strength. ‘Well, we are talking about Kuno though...’ he though remembering how the guy could make Ghandi want to get mediaeval on him.
Realizing that they were missing one more, Bill looked around quickly, “Where’s Ryoga?” he asked, glancing back at the young man.
“P-chan is doing his 29th world tour at the moment, but I wouldn’t put it past him to show up later. He’s got the worst luck but still tends to show up at the worst possible moment.” said the man, still trying to disengage himself from the woman.
Bill chuckled as he finally released the swords woman, “I shoulda figured that.” he admitted, then looked at the two groups.
“Okay, introductions. This here is Ranma Saotome, Shampoo and Tatewaki Kuno. They’re from Nerima and are quite the warriors in their own right.” he said, pointing to the three new arrivals.
Ranma and Shampoo laughed and pointed to the kendo boy as he was lumped into the warrior category, causing the man to shake in rage as his left eyebrow twitch. Heading off another tirade by the long winded man, Bill broke in to introduce the other two.
“This is Keitaro Urashima and Motoko Aoyama. She’s possibly the best swordswoman on the islands...uh, no offense there Tsuruko.” he said, eyeing the woman warily as her hand strayed to her sword.
“What about him?” asked Ranma giving Keitaro the once over, not seeing any visible threat from the unimposing young man.
Bill smiled at them, “He’s kinda unique, but I’m sure you’ll get to know each other since I’ve paired him with you this time.” he told the man.
Shampoo’s brow furrowed as she released Ranma and walked over to Keitaro, her dress showing off her rather voluptuous assets along with a lot of leg from the slit in her Chinese style dress. “Shampoo wonder why weak boy stay with Ranma. Shampoo want stay with Ranma, weak boy go with big mouth.” she said pointedly, poking him in the right arm and drawing a small ‘Ouch’ and him rubbing the spot she’d touched.
Before anyone could say a word about that, a voice screamed in rage from behind them, “KEITARO! YOU PERVERT!” and a blurred form raced towards them.
Naru had been silently observing them from the window in the front of the inn, watching in growing annoyance as the second group had showed up. Seeing the way the new girl was dressed and then approaching Keitaro to touch him had sparked her pervert radar and a million and one possible scenarios ran through her mind. All of them involved the man ogling the molesting the girl infront of everyone.
With her normal cry of rage, she leapt from the window and ran towards him, launching into a spinning kick that would have done any martial artist proud. Before the startled people could even move or voice a complaint, Keitaro was disappearing into the twinkling event horizon once more visiting LEO via NaruAir.
Ranma and crew had dropped into a ready stance at the cry, expecting to be ambushed by the attacker and such were caught totally off guard by the strike and subsequent launching of Keitaro.
Bill and Tsuruko held a finger and thumb to the bridge of their respective noses, shaking their heads sadly but not speaking.
Motoko blinked at the actions, her blush barely visible at having watched Keitaro launched for what was obviously a misunderstanding. She gave Naru a wide eyed look, “He had not done anything Naru.” she told her friend, feeling a pang of...something at watching her strike Keitaro.
Ranma whistled as he raised his hand to watch with admiration at the height and distance she’d gotten with the young man. “Wow! You didn’t even use a mallet.” he said, wincing as he saw the landing and resulting minor mushroom cloud.
“Okay, I see why now you want him along. He can hang with me.” he said, turning and giving Bill a smile. ‘Besides, it’s ‘bout time I found someone else that gets shot into orbit for no good reason.’ he thought, happy at finding a kindred spirit.
Naru blushed under the sudden scrutiny, taking several side steps back from the group, “Um...I’ll be going now...have a nice night.” she said, before walking quickly back to the inn and disappearing into the inn.
“And Shampoo thought Nerima weird.” said the Chinese amazon in her sing song voice, watching what could only be considered the cosmic twin of one Akane Tendo.
End of chapter notes: I know that some of the characters may seem OOC, but this is an AU as well as a crossover, so cut me some slack :) Also, No I’m not a Naru basher at all, in fact I like the character, I just happen to like Motoko more. There will be many anime’s I’m crossing with in this story, I just thought I’d give poor Keitaro a buddy and kindred spirit in fellow LEO traveler Ranma.
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