Love Hina Fan Fiction ❯ PHOENIX ❯ Realizations ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Disclaimer – This is a fanfiction and it is to be deemed as such. Love Hina characters are property of its creator. This fanfiction concept and any original characters are responsibility/property of its creator, myself.

Author’s Notes –
This is an Alternate Universe concept, and changes into characters are done on purpose to develop the story as I intended it to be.

Especial Thanks –
My gratitude to my friend and talented writer Knightwolf, who proofread this chapter. I know you are busy my friend, and I really thank you for your work on helping me here.

It was nighttime at Hinata Sou...
Shinobu went to her room, and after closing the door carefully behind her, she leans to the closed door, thinking about what happened that night.
It is just so wrong…why does she do that to him? Why?
Shinobu’s eyes were teary, but she promised to herself not to cry tonight. She promised to herself to become stronger somehow.
I would give anything to have Urashima Sempai look at me the way he does to her, but the only thing he receives from her is scorn and punishment.
She recalls the scene that had occurred at the dinner table not very long ago. The way Narusegawa Naru once more pummeled Urashima Keitaro with her words, making fun of him, debasing him, humiliating him despite he was not present then.
And he was not even able to say anything in his own defense…not that such would make a difference to either Naru or Motoko. They would say whatever they wanted to and maybe it would end with them punching him if he tried to say anything. They already do that anyway, regardless of it being a misunderstanding or not.
On top of that, she recalls the conversation she overheard by accident minutes ago between Narusegawa and Kitsune.
She is always like that. And yet he still keeps trying to reach her, to convey his feelings to her. She is so casual when talking to him and yet she refuses to acknowledge his attention, even his good intentions, knowing how he feels about her!
She looks out her window to the snow covered scene that is Hinata. She then slowly moved to her study desk and sat down, burying her head in her folded arms.
I can’t even muster enough courage to call him by his first name! But she goes on and on…Not only ignoring him, she actually crucifies him for the slightest fault or misunderstanding. Closing her eyes, she tries to keep her tears in check. And I see this almost every day. His efforts, his devotion…and his suffering. All the while he continues to show a smile.
Eyes closed, she thinks about what she discovered that night, her mind racing.
And what was that conversation with Kitsune now? So that is what she thinks about Keitaro. That is the way Naru Sempai acts towards him and his feelings?
Shinobu breathes slowly, trying to hold back her feelings.
And why, why, why? If she is already dating a man, or two or three, why not tell Keitaro and end this once and for all! She KNOWS what he feels! And yet she keeps him enthralled, giving hope where none exists. Maybe she likes the attention and the care. I know I would love to be the one he looked after! One might think I would be happy knowing that she is not interested in him…but acting like this only makes him suffer more…it’s like using him! How can I be happy seeing him like this? It is just so sad.
Shinobu trembles slightly, the silence of the entire house now enveloping her, enhancing her thoughts.
I silently watch all this, and I even cause him trouble, being startled or embarrassed at small things, causing more trouble for him…but yet he never complained nor blamed me…And I remain silent.
Tilting her chair back, she stares at the ceiling.
For how long now have I acknowledged these feelings ? And when have I started suffering as I watch him being scorned and harassed here? Do they see what they are doing?! Is it so bad to be trying hard to fulfill a dream? Why she scorns upon his feelings! That is why Mutsumi left and went back to Okinawa. She was also tired of seeing Keitaro living like this! She loved Keitaro, and after confessing to him she left. Is this being mature? Giving him up because he likes Narusegawa? He rejected her, very tenderly and caring all right, but shouldn’t she have fought even after his refusal? Naru sempai never said she would accept him! Is this being mature?! Then I am childish and selfish, and I will remain so! I would not do that if I had the slightest chance in sight, and especially knowing how Naru sempai really thinks about him!
Shinobu’s usually young and cheerful aura seems different now. It has been replaced with that of worry and sadness.
While all this is happening, I watch in silence, afraid of even saying a word when they chase or literally spank him. They never noticed that never once did he shout back to them. He is man, and yet he never shouts back. He endures the abuse, and yet I saw once what he could do if pushed into action. They never noticed how kind and hardworking he is.
Even though he is a bit single minded on some matters…but that may be an endearing trait, although it is bringing him to suffering right now.
Shinobu remembers a single time when she saw Keitaro angry; at one time a year ago when he was with her in Tokyo accompanying her shopping and some punks came to harass a woman passing near them. He stood up against them even being outmatched. He was not a spineless coward. He was a man of character, and that made her fall for him even more. She saw a Keitaro the girls usually do not see. A Keitaro they never really noticed existed.
And even acknowledging I love him, I never stood a single time to defend him from the others harsh words here. Not even once! Now her tears flow freely down her cheeks. A silent cry coming out, for fearing of being overheard by the girls. But how can I keep like this after knowing what the very woman he likes really thinks about him, telling a friend that she is even dating another man already, and yet will not tell Keitaro. WHY?!
I am afraid of others recognizing my feelings, and then I suffer in silence watching him being wronged time and again. Am I so weak willed that I never try to lend him a hand? I can’t even call to him casually as Naru does…and I care for him so much that it tores at my heart!
Going to the window, she stares outside, her tears dropping in silence.
I feel so powerless, so inadequate! I know he sees me as a child. But even then my pain is real! I never thought this could be so painful. I always thought love would bring me joy. She holds her hands to her chest, trying to stop the flow of sorrow from her eyes. And yet I feel so happy when we are together, during the times he helps me shopping, or with school work. It lifts my spirits so easily. He is so caring even though I am just a nuisance to him. A 15 years old girl trying to be more than what she really is.
I am feeling so lost… In my cowardice, in the end I was almost doing as Mutsumi did…for I thought Naru liked him even if not aware of it. That I could understand. But now, knowing that she actually does not have any feelings for him, I am still afraid of exposing my own feelings. DESPICABLE!
Resting her head against the window panel, she stayed still. Her face showing a growing inner resolution.
That’s it. I can’t deny what I feel. But…I’m so nervous sometimes. I’m afraid I won’t be able to confess properly. Even if I did, he might only reject it as a simple childish crush. Even if I scream to him how much I feel for him, he may never accept me that way. And even if he could, that would only bring more pain and punishment from the others! That won’t do! But I can’t let this go on like this anymore! Not anymore.
Wiping out her tears, she slaps her face twice, and stood straight.
This time I will do something. Maybe it will be small and even an act of cowardice and selfishness on my part, but that is all I can do now. Better this than do nothing. I love him, of that I know, no matter what he feels or thinks now, I owe him at least this much!
She sits back at her desk, grabs the little notebook in front of her and starts to write in it. At first she goes slowly, carefully, but soon she writes faster, sometimes in anger, sometimes with a faraway smile on her delicate features. She looks at the old phone book at her desk, and smiles faintly.
This time I will accept your offers. Never thought I would though.
Looking at her watch, she does a quick calculation, and decides to wait a bit more before going to the telephone downstairs. After having reached a decision, Shinobu felt strangely calm, though no happiness was on her features. She emanated resolution but not joy.
Even not noticing it, she was growing into maturity, and the hard decisions some need to take in order to achieve a goal, sometimes so far ahead that there is no solace in our present.
…
The next morning, the girls were all together again for breakfast. Everyone was there except Keitaro, who was still at his family’s house. He went to visit them for 4 days now, and was expected to come back in another 3 days at least.
…
“But Shinobu chan, why this now?” Kitsune asks Shinobu, a puzzled look on her features. “That really came out of nowhere. I didn’t even know you had relatives abroad.”
Shinobu, while bringing rice and miso soup to the table, replied cheerfully. “Ah, really? After my parents died, Hina san raised me here at Hinata sou, but about 3 years ago she was contacted by Seto Maehara, which happened to be my dad’s brother who went to Brazil decades ago with his family. He told Hina San that they were pretty well established there and I would be more than welcome to stay with them there. They said they would buy the ticket overnight whenever I choose to go live or visit there.” She smiles to all at the table. “It seems I will finally accept their invitation.”
“Ah, I envy you! Brazil…that must be nice!” Kitsune gives out a wide grin. “Hey Shinobu Chan, I may visit you there, ok?” she says playfully.
“I will be happy to receive you there, though I will be a guest there as well.
“But Shinobu chan, what about your studies. You are 15 years old, still in High School.” Narusegawa asks, a little concern in her expression.
“That will not be a problem. They have a big Japanese colony in the city they live. There are schools where I can go to have classes in Japanese, and then I will also need to learn Portuguese, but I am confident I will be fine there” She is resolute on her words.
The girls were a bit mesmerized, as Shinobu was usually a sweet and a bit meek girl. Her decisions, and the hasty way they were taking place, were a bit odd.
“I feel you are making a huge step into building yourself Shinobu chan. I also feel it will be good for you to meet your family.” Motoko says, nodding her head.
“I met them personally once 3 years ago, when they came to visit Japan. They are very nice and I am sure they will help me adapt there.” Shinobu sat down and started to eat her breakfast.
“But Shinobuu….I will be alone there at the school, and at Hinata Sou!!!” Kaolla says, sad for her friend’s departure news.
“Shush, Kaolla, you have us all here, don’t you?” Kitsune, next to Kaolla, ruffles her hair, winking to the little girl.
“Kaolla, you have everyone here with you. I will miss you all as well, but I feel it is time for me to see my relatives.” She says, eyes betraying her feelings, already missing the place and her friends. “And this will be good for me. I will come to visit though.”
“Neh, Shinobu, that is fine, but why the hurry? At least wait until Keitaro comes back. Why leaving in such a short notice?” Kitsune voices her puzzlement over Shinobu’s hasty actions.
Placing the miso cup she was sipping from back on the table, Shinobu looks to Kitsune. “Seto San told me they are going to leave on vacations soon and as I told them I would accept their standing invitation, they asked me to go with them right away. I do not want to hold them back there. Therefore I need to go immediately. I do not have that much to pack anyway, so it is simple.” She bows her head slightly. “Tell Urashima Sempai that I will call from Brazil as soon as I get there and please tell him why I had to leave in a hurry.” She says, a bit hastily. Kitsune noticed this right away.
Even for me it was sudden, but it did help me after all… Shinobu got surprised at her relative’s words when calling yesterday, but it all worked for her own benefit, or so she thought.
“Tomorrow I will go to the school to sort things there as much as possible, and Seto san said he would take care of the rest for me. There is not that much to do right now anyway, and his men can take care of what will be needed here.”
“Keitaro will miss you, though he will be glad to see you well, I am sure of it.” Says Narusegawa.
“I will miss you all, but I will go forward with my own plans as well. This may be very good to me.” Do you really know what makes him glad, Naru Sempai Even not showing outwards, Shinobu resented Naru and her actions.
“Hey, we could call Keitaro at least to allow him to say his goodbyes by the telephone” Says Kitsune.
“N-Now, please…don’t! I would feel bad. It has been so long since he last visited his parents and he could choose to come back here. Let it be. It is better this way.” A weak smile on her face. If I actually see him, I may falter in my decision. It is better this way. Thinks Shinobu.
Mutsumi san, was it this difficult for you? But you said you were really going to forget him…and that is something I can’t pledge to do…
“Well, if you so wish.” Agrees Kitsune.
Narusegawa looks to Shinobu, unsure of what the little girls actions really mean. “Neh Shinobu, won’t you regret this later? Keitaro is important to you. Or am I wrong?” She looks into Shinobu’s eyes, pondering the true meaning of her actions. The girl would surely be the first to wish Keitaro to be there at least to say farewell and Narusegawa just knew that.
“Naru Sempai, please! I really mean that. I do not wish to be a bother to him right now. Farewells are not something I am used to anyway. Let it be this way.” What does she really think? She is not worried about him, that I already know. I will not be able to see him now. I just can’t! And I actually am really upset with you Naru sempai…the lack of care displayed in your words yesterday was so sad.
Where you aware of what I am really doing, would you speak so calmly…I wonder. Shinobu was discovering a side of her own self that she was unaware of.
But Narusegawa, seeing how the girl was reacting, took her own conclusions given the little the girl told them. It is strange….the whole situation is strange. Why is she leaving so suddenly when Keitaro is away? Why she does not want us to tell him what she is doing. And the way she said all this now. I can feel she is hiding something, and her eyes…there is something she is not telling us. Something that is making her really upset. Is Keitaro somehow connected to all this now? Narusegawa’s curiosity was running at full power.
She was so near the truth, and yet as far as possible. And as Keitaro was becoming actually annoying to her as of late, it was easy to get suspicious of any fault from the Ronin.
I will look into this…I feel there is some kind of connection here. It may not be my business, but again if the guy has something to do with this, I want to know. Narusegawa was curious and Shinobu was adding to her curiosity, even if unaware of that.
They carry on their breakfast, enjoying Shinobu’s presence as much as they could. The young girl would be leaving in 2 days.
Two days later, at the footsteps leading to Hinata Sou, Shinobu is loading her bags into Seta Noriyasu’s car.
...
“Seta San, Haruka san, thank you for your help.”
“It is ok, and it is not as if I had many things to do right now.” Seta finishes loading the two bags Shinobu packed, and closed the trunk.
“Shinobu, listen, this is the last opportunity. Do you want me to call Keitaro? Then you can say your goodbyes.” Haruka was concerned over the girl. She never meddled much on the subjects regarding the girls, but she was not blind. She did know Shinobu’s feelings over her nephew, even though the girl never said a word about it.
Jeez, it is not wrong anyway. She will soon turn sixteen, even though she seems younger. That does mislead. Haruka smiles at this thought, for she has always been very conscious about age.
Bah, Keitaro no Baka! Being 16 is sweet and not that younger than him. He should be more conscious of the girls’ feelings. But as things go here, I can’t expect much neh. He does need to change his stances over some matters though, including his interest in Narusegawa. That will lead nowhere.
“No, there is no problem. When I arrive there I will call and then I can talk to him” She seems a bit down, but yet hiding something.
“Ok, that is your call then.”
“Humm, Haruka, you are with a very thoughtful expression” Seta looks into her eyes.
“Ah, you…it is all right. Let’s go then, it would not be good to lose your flight, right Shinobu.”
The girls were at the end of the footsteps as well, saying their farewells to the young girl.
“Shinobu Chan, I hope you visit us soon. Have a safe trip, and enjoy your stay there” Narusegawa holds her hands for a bit, conveying her farewells.
“It will be good for you to be away from our kanrinin of that I am sure!” Motoko says, serious as always.
That is the least I wanted Motoko, but this is the way it must be now. Shinobu tries to keep her face straight.
“Thank you all for the time I lived here. Different experiences await me, but I will keep this place in my heart and memory. And I promise to come back in the future. Perhaps ready then to battle for my feelings with more confidence and better equipped. She bows deeply, but keeping her emotions at check. Better not get too emotional now. This is the best for me now. I need this…
“Have a safe trip, and do contact us as soon as you get there” Motoko was moved by the departure of their friend, even not showing that much outward.
“Shinobu, be ready for us visiting you on your new home!” Kitsune was playful but she was moved as well.
Kaolla was a bit behind the girls, a sullen look in her face, not a very common view. She was not happy with Shinobu’s decision, but she was there to send her farewells.
“Kaolla chan, I will be back in the future. And please do not give the others much trouble” Shinobu, approaching Kaolla, whisper at her ears. “My friend, please take care of Urashima sempai, ok. You know I care for him.”
Kaolla looks to Shinobu, her eyes red but unwavering. “Promise! As always a secret between us!” Despite Kaolla’s energetic, playful nature, Shinobu always trusted the young genius, and that never proved wrong. Kaolla never vented out their secret, being the only one really aware of how Shinobu felt towards Urashima Keitaro.
“Shinobu chan, we better get going as the airport is a bit far.” Seta calls, entering his van.
“Sayonara minna san!” Shinobu enters the van, weaving to her friends.
…
Haruka looks to Seta while he is driving the car, exchanging a knowing look with her friend and now boyfriend.
“Shinobu chan, may I ask a little question?” Haruka adjusts herself in the front seat, looking to Shinobu who seemed lost in thoughts looking to the scenery passing by them.
“Sure” She says, smiling.
“Is this really all right? I remember your relatives from Brazil, and they seemed nice and all, but why this so suddenly? I mean, you could have at least waited for the school term to end, and then go in a more tranquil way.”
“T-to tell you the truth, I was thinking the same. I did it all a bit hastily, neh.” She looks to the passing city, already missing it all. “But I do know it is the right thing to do now. I will explain this one day.” She says looking into Haruka’s eyes.
“Being so young you do have a very strong determination, Shinobu chan.” Seta says.
Not that strong, I may be acting as a coward and as a child, running away from a situation where I feel powerless to change. “I just feel this as right now, and they have being inviting me for a long time now. It is not as sudden as it appears in the end.”
“If this is all right with you, all is fine. But you should have said something to Keitaro at least to allow him expressing his farewells.” Haruka seats straight now. “Mah ii neh…you know he cares for you. Please do call as you arrive there. I will tell him about it all before the girls reach him.” There goes the only really understanding girl towards Keitaro. I imagine the days ahead may be a bit bleak for him…that is, if he notices, being only aware of Naru…stupid boy! First Toudai and that Promise. Haruka intended to talk with her nephew. She was becoming upset and worried with the boy. She saw him as a caring person, and focused as well. But he needed to rethink his priorities and ways in her opinion.
“Hah, Haruka, before I forget.” Shinobu rummages on her purse, taking out a little closed envelope from it. She seemed to be holding something in her heart judging by her voice. “About Urashima sempai, could you please give him this?” She handles the little envelope. Seems like a small notebook. Haruka hefts the envelope for a moment, feeling its weight, and then stashes it in the glove compartment. “Sure Shinobu. So it seems you did have something more to tell Keitaro.” Haruka says, looking at the girl’s face.
Shinobu’s face went serious, her eyes steeling a bit. I do have, but I never had courage until now and I am doing this while fleeing away. I hate this but I can’t do otherwise. Gommen ne Keitaro, gommen! But at least I will do something for you. I need to end this for his own sake. Enough to be treated as a toy! She angers at herself and at what Narusegawa was doing in regards of Keitaro and such shows in her face.
“I do wish him to read this indeed. But I could not give him in person…I just could not.” Shinobu looks outward again, quiet.
Why this face now? She seemed angered at something. Is she angered at Keitaro perhaps? Why? Haruka seems puzzled at this, wrongly interpreting Shinobu’s reaction at her comment concerning Keitaro. Now I am curious at what is inside this envelope.
Even being curious, Haruka knew she would not open it. It was for Keitaro, and that is that. Choose the boy to show it for her, all right.
Haruka and Seta went the rest of the way under light talk. Shinobu seemed a bit sad, but tried to conceal it as best she could.
Their farewell at the airport gates was brief and emotional, for Shinobu after holding it inside her since their leaving Hinata Sou, finally let it go.
Under tears, she hugs both Seta and Haruka. “Please Haruka, do not forget to give Keitaro that envelope, ok?”
“Ii kara ii kara…Worry not little one. And enjoy your trip!” She says uncommonly tender, ruffling Shinobu’s hair.
“I will come back one day! It is a promise! And I will be stronger then!”
Stronger huh? Why this? Haruka thinks while seeing the girl departing.
She turns to the security lines, holding her purse and the little handbag she is carrying. She did not have that many possessions to begin with.
Haruka and Seta follow her progress in the lines, until she vanishes from their view.
“I am not sure why, but my heart is a bit heavy now...” Haruka, usually stoic, had her eyes tearing.
“She seems a pretty nice girl, and this may prove to be a very nice opportunity for her. Let’s be happy and cheer her then!” Seta holds her shoulders lightly. “Being the way she is, I think she would not like to see you sad because of her.” He adds, softly.
“Yes, you are right.” She turns to Seta and gives him a light kiss in his lips, which startles him a bit. “Heh, you are quite interesting when serious, and when embarassed as well, you know that?” She turns, going back to the car, with Seta chasing after her, face red and with a small smile plastered on it.
Shinob u looks through the aircraft window, at the scattered clouds below. Beautiful and calm…I would like to be able to fly out there by myself. She giggles a bit. Then I could come visit whenever I wished…though it would be a very long flight by myself.
She looks around. The flight was not that full. She was on the business class, as Seto Maehara told her it would be. They left Tokyo 2 hours ago, but it was a long flight.
Well, that is it now. Now my path is set. One day I will return, and then we will see how things fare. I am not sure what the future brings, but then again my present was not a promising one if things remained like they were.
Shinobu was neither sad nor happy, but decided to change, to become a woman able to fight for herself in any situation.
Her own emotional stress up to this moment and the novelty of travelling to another country were starting to take its tow on the young girl. She sets her seat to the sleep position as the flight attendant explained to her before the take off, and closed her eyes, dozing off while her mind was set on her objectives and will.
She feels the slight movement of the aircraft as it sails the skies, and it helped her sleep…
Hours later, at the Urashima’s House, a pair of friends is trying to catch time.
...
Keitaro has had a very limited social life for a long time, but Haitani was a friend for a long time now, and Keitaro trusted him enough to express his worries in the occasions they meet to talk, like today.
“Humm, you know my friend, it has been a long time since we have met at your home. Your parents were happy to see you, even though they were the ones that asked you to move out.” Haitani was sitting by the window, munching on a little sweet from the Urashima’s Candy Shop. “Ah, I missed these goodies as well!” A heartfull smile on his face.
“I can notice that. “ Keitaro was searching over a high shelf, trying to find something. “But you know, mom did explain to me now. They were worried about my fixation with the Toudai matter.” He sits giving up his present search. “Phew, I knew I should have brought that with me! Now they must have found it and poof….I will never see it again” He says, a bit annoyed.
“Hah, you must be talking about that prize little magazine you had as a treasure, neh” He laughs. “Well, it has been quite some time right. You did not expect them to leave your old room unattended.”
“True, but one might hope, right?”
They laugh at this heartily.
Keitaro goes on.
“About them asking me to move out, they thought that being with Hina san would be good for me. Haruka san is there as well, and they thought them as being a good influence on me, especially Haruka with her pragmatism and straightforward ways.”
“But I am not sure now how good this time was, but I can’t deny I had some intense experiences there.” He says, expression a bit hard to see through.
“Hey Kei, now tell me. How are things holding up with you back in Kanagawa. I recall you telling me that the place you are taking care off was an All Girl Dorm. That was a big surprise, but you haven’t said much about it later and it became increasingly difficult to see you.”
“Well” Keitaro sighs, stretching himself. “I can’t say much. The whole thing started on a bad note to tell you the truth. In reality, the seemingly gift of good fortune was stuffed with more problems than I could have imagined at first.” He remembers his first days there. “The fact that Hina san left the place to travel right after my parents requesting her to receive me was a blow. Haruka also forgot about my arrival and I ended up in a big mess.” He starts to walk in his old room, a thoughtful expression in his features. “That could have been solved easily, but as things went, I ended up pretending to be someone I was not, and on that even Haruka helped. In the end it went even worse before I could clear things out. That was a year ago, and from that time on it improved a bit between me and the girls, but not to a really good state of matters. The place is nice and all, but dealing with the girls proved time and again frustrating and even dangerous. The fact is that both Narusegawa and Motoko are too quick to judge and act, and it seems I am always at fault there, and under their cross hairs.” He looks to the window, to the bright day outside. “ In the middle of this mess, I ended up with growing feelings towards Narusegawa Naru, but even now, after I made it clear that I like her so many times, she seems at times accepting, and then she treats me almost as if she hated me.”
I can recall all the times they spanked me mercilessly.
“Keitaro, have you actually confessed to her? I mean, have you said with all the words, that you have feelings for her?” Haitani knew his friend, and his ways. Though the word love was yet difficult to say.
“Well, not like in a true confession, no.”
“I knew it! And how do you expect the girl to really know it? You are living there as manager for a long time now, and being near them like this, she might be waiting for you to really say it. She may be unsure about you, you know.” He looks Keitaro in his eyes. “She may even have gone from accepting to rejecting you, if nothing else for your lack of guts.”
“You may have a point there. But right now things are in its lowest between us.” He sighs. “I went as far as rejecting Mutsumi, who may have been the old Promise Girl in the end, though I was shocked to know Naru was present at the time of those words so long ago in regards of Toudai. But the whole affair is enshrouded in fantasies as well as memories. Narusegawa could not even speak well at that time. Mutsumi does not remember much either. There might have been even another girl present. ” He looks to Haitani. “I am not sure of anything anymore! I will try for Toudai again, but the promise is not there anymore. But I will study to enter the place. Narusegawa is already there you know.” He adds after looking to his empty hands. “This promise thing seems really a delusion from the past, a game of my imagination, even if parts of it happened to be kind of true. And the girl I have feelings for is in Toudai now, like a joke from destiny.”
Narusegawa passed her first exams, while Keitaro failed them once more.
“And she will begin soon to attend Toudai, right?” Haitani asks his friend.
“Yes. She said she almost failed and said our study sessions were the cause of it. But at the end she passed. Now I rarely see her much at Hinata Sou. She seems to be catching up her time with her friends.”
“Keitaro, are you exchanging one delusion for another” Haitani speaks suddenly.
He looks at Keitaro with a serious expression now. “You might not like what I am going to say, but maybe by now it is too late. You are living there for quite some time, and if up to this moment you never spoke your heart, it may be possible that your time has passed my friend.” He sighs. “A girl may see shyness in a man as lack of interest as well. And now you both are in different worlds one might say.” He sighs. “And you should not base your will to attend Toudai just to meet a girl. You need to enter there for your own good!”
Haitani was worried for his friend, and that made him blunter over this subject.
“I know I know. You are right.”
And about Narusegawa and me, you are also right.” He thinks for a bit. “It is true and it is my fault for not telling her before, but as she gets very violent at times, it is not that easy to reach her and say it.” He remembers the times and the beatings he received there. “I must add that violence does not mix with love and caring.” He looks to the ceiling. “And yet, on some occasions when she is at Hinata Sou, she is kind to me.”
“Humm, what are you saying. You never said anything about violence…and being nice in some occasions does not mean much, you know. Friends are that way. Especially if you say there was violence from her in previous times, which does not bode well. Real life is not like in a manga, where the girl mistreats the boy she cares for.” Haitani crosses his arms, looking serious.
“Let’s say that the girls, notably two of them, can get really upset at times” I do know about the scars I already bore due their acts. “I can even understand why on some occasions. But you are right, Haitani.”
“Man! I think you should think well about your situation there, if things are in such a way.” Haitani looks seriously to Keitaro.
“I confess I am a bit confused myself. One might think I should have left the place a long time ago. But the fact is that I feel responsible for them after what Hina san did, leaving the place at my care to travel, and then leaving us forever..I got sad for not seeing her before and now I feel responsible for what was important to her. And though some of the girls can be pretty unconventional, there are Shinobu and Kaolla for instance. Kaolla may be energetic but she was never really aggressive towards me.” He thinks for a bit. “And Shinobu is one of the most caring girls I ever met, of that I am sure.” He laid back on his old mattress. “Were she like seventeen or more, and not fifteen years old she would be as cute as Naru I think.” Then again I rejected Mutsumi even thinking about her as being nice and really cute. She did like me and I turned her down just because I could not forget Narusegawa, even if she never really demonstrated anything more than friendship. I must be really pathetic!
“Well, I hope you mend your ways my friend. Maybe without that Promise thing gone as a drive to your studies, you will go well next time, as you said you will try once more. As you know, less pressure makes a mind more at ease.” Haitani seats near Keitaro. “Therefore try to be less worried about things a bit. Relax and maybe things will work out for you.”
“I will try to keep that in mind.”
At this time, Keitaro’s mother calls him with an urgent voice from downstairs. “Kei chan, come here fast! Haruka is on the phone and she is very agitated!”
Both Keitaro and Haitani run downstairs. Haitani knew Haruka as well, and few things would cause her to be agitated.
Keitaro holds the telephone, and after listening to Haruka a bit, he became very pale and his hands were shaking a bit. “But Haruka, what you are telling me cannot be true, she was at home. She said nothing about traveling! I am sure she would at least tell me something” His voice is shaken, as his hands trembled while holding the phone.
He slowly lowers himself to the ground, while Haitani looks to his face, while Keitaro has the telephone glued to his ear.
In the living room, Keitaro’s father was watching the news. The faint voice of the news anchor goes in an urgent and serious tone:
~…while there is not yet any official word from the airline representatives and from the Coastal Guard, it is not expected any survivors to be found. The images from the traffic control radars showed the aircraft disappearing from the screens at 13:30hrs Tokyo Time.
The communications between the Air Traffic Control and the pilots indicated some serious problem suddenly occurring to the aircraft moments before it vanishing from the screens says a source from the Air Traffic Authority, but nothing official was released up to this moment.
Some crewmen in a ship sailing in the accident area reported seeing an explosion in the skies and they were able to see the aircraft flaming remains plunging into the ocean.
Images from one of this crewmen, taken when their ship approached the area where the aircraft fell into the sea shows a sad display of floating debris and what are supposed to be human remains covering a large area… ~
For two years now, after the accident that took Shinobu forever from their midst, the girls at Hinata Sou go together to the resting place where the victims of that tragedy received a homage.
Hinata Sou is desert but for its kanrinin, who is the sole person on it.
The girls in two years never went there with Urashima Keitaro. He was to stay at the Dorm, and not go with them. That was their wish.
That was their demand.
At the late afternoon, with the sun setting and the quiet of the time surrounding the place, a woman arrives at the footsteps leading to Hinata Sou. The wind blows weakly but is still a bit cold, as light snow covers the whole paisage. She is tall, lush raven hair going halfway down her back. She is dressed in a light green loose dress which conveys the image of a well built body. Far from being slim but very well proportioned, she is strong and yet very beautiful. She was carrying a carry-on bag and a little purse. She stops at the bottom of the staircase, looking up and around her.
At this moment a soft tone is heard from her purse, and she scoops a seemingly high-tech pda from it. Taking it to her ears she listens, while observing her surroundings.
-So Nova, how does it feel to be back here?-
“Strange. How long has it been Iitan?”
-That would be five years for you, dear-
“Yeah, that is right…five years. A damn long time considering everything I went through.”
-Well, it was your choice to be back-
“I had to, and you know that. I need to heal myself and accomplish some important things on my own.”
-I know, but then again things may have changed around here. Time passes for us all-
I know that, maybe better than others would. But it is important to me, and possibly to others as well.” She smiles thinly, bright eyes looking to the Dorm up at the top of the stairs. “Though I confess to be a bit nervous now. After years away, what may I find here brings butterflies to my stomach”
-That is proof that you are you, and no matter how long and what have you been through, your very self will always remain so-
“True Iitan, very true. Well, as you guys never got more info on things here, I need to go and get to the facts and update myself on everything and everyone in order to know what I will do from now on. Mah, neh. Not that different from my usual life anyway, right?”
-Ah, but here you are not working, but going after your own self, which is important and good.-
“Well, let’s carry on then. Time to go back home after my years of absence”
-Good luck and we talk later then, I will not interrupt you again this night.-
“Thank you Iitan and we will talk later tonight for sure. Jah neh.-
-Ah, before I forget my dear, one thing. Your choice of clothing may be a bit off today…weather in Japan now is becoming quite cold…-
“Shhhh…ouch! You are right…that will be odd, neh…” She says with her eyes wide open, looking at her own dress now and to her surroundings. Light snow covering the footsteps and the trees around her.
She puts out her tongue, knocking lightly her forehead with her knuckles. “I guess I wanted to make a good impression and overdid it…not that I am feeling any cold. Gotta remember these things neh.”
-Well, we talk later Nova. Enjoy your night-
“Thank you, till later”
The girl put the pda back into her purse, and holds her luggage easily to climb up the stairs.
What may have changed around here during these past years does make me nervous a bit, but then I am back, and that is really bringing me joy. I am curious as to what may have been happening around here in the years I have been gone. Be it for a brief time or not, I am coming back to a precious place and to the promise I made once, seemingly on another life altogether. Let’s go Nova! Up and ahead!
She passes her free left hand on her hair, combing it while smiling, and starts up the stairs to Hinata Sou under the sun’s last rays of the day.