Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ After the Dream ❯ I'll Try ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Agent's Spiel: Actually, after posting last chapter and the note about the rewrite I'd still like to invite people to comment on this. I'm looking for some good criticism because even though this story is several years old I would really appreciate any tips about what needs improvement as I work on the new version.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

I'll Try

Ten minutes after Naruto had hightailed it from his apartment he found himself on Team 7's old training grounds. He looked over at the Memorial knowing that Sakura's parents' names would soon be inscribed on it. The blond stared for a few moments before turning and looking at the three posts in front of it. He had become a Gennin here. He, Sakura, and Sasuke had first worked as a team in this very location.

With his new team he thought he could take on the world. Suddenly the glares didn't get to him as often. Suddenly he had friends; sure they didn't always act like it but they never would have actually denied it either. Suddenly he could drop his mask; he didn't do it often but there were those rare mornings when everything was peaceful.

Along with his new team came many trials but with those came strength. Naruto was able protect those he cared for. They protected him as well. His constant struggle not to let the pain get to him was worth it. He had made more friends outside of Team 7. He had shown people that he wasn't just some obnoxious prankster. He had proven to everyone that he was worth something; at least he had thought he had.

Sasuke left. Sasuke left because that bastard Orochimaru had blinded him with the curse seal. Sasuke left because he hadn't been able to convince him to stay.

Everything had begun to fall apart after Sasuke left. Kakashi had been gone almost constantly on missions. Sakura was training just as much as he was and with the exception of a few days off they almost never saw each other. The village blamed him for the loss of their avenger. His mask had started slip when he didn't want it to and now he knew he was in trouble.

He had put his friends in danger. Not only that but he had let them see too much and there was nothing he could do to change that. Even if he went back and apologized they knew something was wrong. If tomorrow he were to walk up to them grinning he wouldn't be able to keep it up. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't put his mask back up.

Even if he couldn't go back to being that carefree boy they all saw him as he wouldn't worry them. He would be strong; he wouldn't let them see his weakness. He wouldn't let them know what was happening. They didn't need to waste concern on him; he had made it this far on his own and he would continue to do so. He looked around once more before walking off.

XXXXXXXXX

The day after Sakura's parents died Naruto met Jiraiya early for another training session. He had trained all of yesterday afternoon and into the night. He had now missed two nights of sleep but he didn't care. When he reached the training grounds he was determined. He was determined to get stronger. He was determined to get answers. He was determined to get his way.

Jiraiya noticed Naruto's lack of exuberance early on in the training session. It had been the same the day before. The boy showed up went through his routine and the practiced his new move without a break until he was told it was time to stop. He had already mastered Togeyomi and Jiraiya had planned on spending close to a week on it. He scratched his head as Naruto went through his physical exercises trying to decide what he would teach him next. He shook his head and chuckled slightly, at the rate they were going by the times three years were up Naruto would know two-thirds of his jutsu.

He thought back briefly to his previous student. The similarities between them were remarkable, sometimes suspiciously so. The child in front of him had managed to master the first three steps of the Rasengan in barely a month. He had managed to summon Gamabunta twice; summoning a boss at the age of twelve was almost unheard of. Even without the Kyuubi's chakra he was powerful in his own right; he had the ability to think on the fly and had a prankster's mind. That last one gave him ideas that no one else would think of, as he got older the child was only going to get stronger, get smarter.

He briefly considered whether or not Naruto realized just how powerful he was. He wondered if the boy comprehended the extent, not only of Kyuubi's power but of his own. Did Naruto realize that no one below Jounin level should be able to use Kage Bunshin as casually as he did? Hell, even at Jounin level most Shinobi couldn't. He had seen the free-for-all battles that Naruto had staged with his clones; he had heard stories of the times that Naruto had called out up to a thousand clones when faced with a difficult enemy.

He had come back to Konoha and immediately began hearing about their geniuses. The prodigies. Heirs to prominent families. Hyuuga, Uchiha, Yamanaka, Akimichi, Nara, Aburame, and Inuzuka. The prides of their clans, children more gifted with their families' abilities then had been seen in some time. Then there were the others; Lee, TenTen, Sakura. A taijutsu specialist rapidly growing stronger; a weapons specialist with more blades up her sleeve than most used in their lifetime; and the head of her class a brilliant mind dealing with two troubled teammates.

Who he hadn't heard praised was Naruto: the Kyuubi brat, demon child. He had heard whispers, heard about his pranks, all the trouble he caused, how bad an influence the boy was on others. So of course when he had met the boy at the hot springs he had been shocked. The child had an aura of innocence about him; he wasn't a demon, sure the kid might have been a little loud but that never really hurt anyone. During training he may have been a little hard on him but in reality the punk had learned quicker than most did.

Despite all of that. Despite everything Naruto had done to prove himself. Beating Kiba, Neji, and Gaara. Risking his life numerous times for the village. Naruto was the only one of the group not called a genius. Naruto was the only rookie who wasn't praised.

Sure he had gained a few supporters. He knew for a fact that Anko secretly favored the brat above all the other Gennin. He knew that Ibiki and Genma had been so impressed by the kid's determination, stamina, and never ending spirit that were both rooting for him. Everyone knew that Iruka had always had a soft spot for the blond orphan that resembled him. The other senseis respected Naruto for his ability raise everyone's spirits, to sharpen their will. Kakashi didn't normally show it but he too was pushing the brat to succeed. Why couldn't everyone else admit that Naruto was something other than a vessel for a demon?

As Jiraiya was lost in his thoughts Naruto finished his physical exercises and walked up to the old man. After waiting several minutes, the Sennin snapped out of his daze and turned his attention to the object of his thoughts. “All-right brat I've decided.” He looked down hoping to see some excitement his student's eyes. When Naruto only stared back he sighed and began walking motioning for Naruto to follow.

“You were unconscious at the time so I know you didn't see me use this jutsu in the fight against Orochimaru. It's a combination move called Gama Yuendan. Basically for it to work Gamabunta shoots oil from his mouth and it is combined with a fire jutsu. Got it?” He said looking at Naruto; he took the bobbing head to be an affirmative so he continued. “What I'm going to teach you is a fire jutsu. Once I'm satisfied with your ability to perform it, we'll go out to one of the more barren training grounds and you can try it once or twice with Gamabunta.” Naruto looked up and nodded.

He quickly ran through the seals and demonstrated it once for his young apprentice before leaving him to begin practicing. He watched as time and time again Naruto went through the hand seals before bringing his hand up to his mouth and breathing out. At first all he could manage was a small stream of fire. A jet would shoot out barely a foot before fading away, yet within an hour Naruto had already managed to increase his stream of fire to ten feet.

Jiraiya sat back and shook his head knowing that by the end of the day Naruto would have this move down. That meant that he would have to find a training field to use for the next day's practice with Gamabunta. He snorted when he imagined the frog boss' reaction to being called out for something like practice, but if he didn't waste a day on that he would have even less to teach the brat.

He sighed heavily when Naruto approached him after practicing the Katon for barely four hours. Admittedly he was a little surprised that the kid was still standing after how much work he was doing, but less and less about his favorite blond runt was shocking him. As he watched Naruto walk up he mentally prepared himself to shoot down the blonde's request. He just knew Naruto was going to tell he was bored and that he wanted to learn another new jutsu. So of course he was shocked when the boy sat down in front of him and studied him for several minutes in complete silence.

When Naruto made no move to reveal his motives for his break Jiraiya began to fidget under his unusual stare. He was a bit unnerved that even after all that work Naruto still hadn't worked through whatever was bothering him. It had been two days since Kisame's attack and Naruto should have been back to normal. Even with the death of the Haruno's Naruto should have been showing some emotion, not the apathetic façade he currently wore.

“Why are we still here?” Naruto questioned breaking the suffocating silence around the two. Jiraiya blinked at him for several moments before reaching over and whapping Naruto across the head. “We're still here because you aren't finished training for the day,” he said. “The sooner you get back to work and I'm satisfied with your ability I'll allow you to leave, so hurry up I have research to get done,” he added as a perverted look and small blush graced his face.

Ever since Tsunade had returned, she had ordered him not leave Naruto while he was training. Apparently she blamed him for Naruto's training methods while he was working on the Rasengan, regardless of the fact that he was only pushing himself that hard because of her bet. He was going insane, he had almost no time for research and Naruto wouldn't use Sexy no Jutsu for him. At this rate it would take him for ever to get out another addition of Come, Come Violence. If only he could go peeping.

Naruto waited patiently for Jiraiya to come back to attention. He knew disrupting the man's thoughts wouldn't help him get his way. What he needed to do was sound intelligent and convince Jiraiya that he knew what he was talking about. If he could get Jiraiya on his side then they could convince Tsunade together.

Five minutes later Jiraiya finished drooling over his thoughts and brought his focus back to the boy in front of him. “Well aren't you going to go finish training?” He said irately, angry that his line of thought had been ended.

Naruto looked at Jiraiya for a moment before once again asking, “Why are we still here?”

Jiraiya looked at Naruto for several minutes before sighing, “I told you already Naruto, Tsunade needs me to stay in Konoha until everything settles down.”

“Everything has settled down,” the blond kitsune mumbled quietly.

“Naruto, things haven't settled down yet. There are still more missions than there are shinobi. There are still too many threats to Konoha. Tsunade can't afford to let people wander around training if they can achieve just as much here.” Jiraiya thought that his statement would but an end to the conversation. Unfortunately when he looked down at his blond student he found bright blue eyes glaring at him. “The main threat to Konoha is the Akatsuki. The only reason they have for attacking is to get to me. If I leave the village then one of those threats is gone.”

“That isn't necessarily true. They may continue attacking Konoha, even if you leave, in hopes that it will draw you back.” Jiraiya said trying to appease his student.

“You know that isn't true. They've always been direct, if I leave the village they'll follow.” Naruto shot back jumping to his feet so that he could glare down at the white-haired Sennin. He was beginning to grow impatient and Jiraiya's attitude wasn't helping him much. He hated being treated like a child who didn't understand what was being said. He admitted that he wasn't the brightest of people but Jiraiya's down talking was unnecessary.

“Naruto if this about Sakura's parents, there wasn't anything anyone could have done about that. It was just an unfortunate coincidence that they ran into Kisame.” Once again Jiraiya immediately realized that he had said the wrong thing.

“That's bull-shit Jiraiya and you know it. If they hadn't been from leaf Kisame would have passed them by. Missing-Nins don't just walk around getting into fights that serve no purpose.” Naruto shouted down to the toad summoner still seated on the ground.

Jiraiya was momentarily torn. He wondered if he should be happy that Naruto had shown some emotion. He knew he should be happy that Naruto had used his real name for once. Unfortunately all he could see was how incredibly guilty the brat was feeling. It was obvious that he blamed himself for the incident at the river, as well as for his friends suffering due to the loss of her parents. He thought quickly trying to come up with something that would allay Naruto's anger and desire to leave the village. “Naruto as long as we stay here we can keep you safe. Out on the road it would only be the two of us, there is no guarantee that I'd be able to handle whoever attacked. Here there are plenty of Shinobi who could step in and help you.”

“I'm not worried about that. That aren't going to kill me yet, but that doesn't mean they won't kill those who try to help me. I don't want people getting hurt for no reason like that.” Jiraiya noticed that Naruto's eyes were unusually bright and he wondered briefly if the boy was going to begin crying. He also wondered if Naruto realized how masochistic and self-deprecating his statement had been.

“Naruto, I know that your encounter with Kisame is bothering you. You have to understand that Tsunade and I understand the situation. You are safer here and your safety is what we are concerned with when it comes to the Akatsuki. We cannot let them get the Kyuubi, to keep it out of their hands means keeping you out of their hands. With any luck we can dispense with the Akatsuki members one by one before they get the chance to do anything.”

“That won't work.” Naruto growled out. “They'll leave the minute anyone who has the power to challenge them shows up.”

Jiraiya sighed before standing up and placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder. He looked the boy straight in the eye with a very serious look on his face. “This discussion is over Naruto. We are not leaving Konoha. If you bring it up again I'll double the physical exercises and withhold jutsu training for a month.” He paused watching for any reaction, when he was satisfied that Naruto understood he straightened and removed his hand. “We're done training for today; I'll meet you here tomorrow.”

Naruto glared at Jiraiya's back as the older man walked off. When the man disappeared the blond set off as well.

XXXXXXXXX

Half an hour later Naruto could be found wandering the streets of Konoha. That bastard pervert had barely given him a chance to state his case. He assumed he knew everything; he assumed Naruto wasn't thinking clearly. Jiraiya thought that Naruto was being immature. He was not being immature. Why couldn't they see how dangerous it was for others to be around him? The fact that Sakura had been the only one hurt at the river was pure luck.

It wasn't going to be like that next time. Next time more people would be hurt. Next time the injuries would be worse. Kisame had already killed two leaf shinobi, couldn't they see that it was just going to get worse. Why didn't they see that he wasn't being stupid? For once he actually bothered to really think over a situation and they completely wrote it off.

Jiraiya had treated the entire conversation as if he was lecturing a five year old who was feeling overly guilty for breaking a lamp. These were people's lives they were gambling with. Tsunade was a horrible gambler didn't she realize that she would lose this time as well.

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't understand their decisions. He couldn't comprehend why they were taking so many risks.

XXXXXXXXX

Later that evening Naruto found himself on the training grounds. He had wandered around the village for hours before deciding he needed a better way to burn off energy. He had started by obliterating a punching log, when he found that that hadn't worked he began running. After nearly twenty laps around the village he found himself back at the clearing around midnight. He knew he should be tired, he had been up for three days now, and yet he was full of energy. It wasn't the good kind of energy either.

He wasn't happy go lucky and hyperactive; he wanted to blow something up. After five minutes of intense pondering he decided that he would do just that. He spent several hours working on his new fire jutsu.

Around three in the morning he found himself collapsed on his back staring at the stars. He had almost depleted his natural chakra and knew that if he continued training he would either pass out or accidentally tap into the Kyuubi's chakra.

He really didn't want to pass out; he had done that while learning to climb trees using chakra. He had passed out in the forest and Haku had found him the next day, he had given his enemy an opening that could have led to his own death. He also knew that if he passed out he would probably be late for training and he really didn't want to think about how much trouble that could cause.

Tapping into the Kyuubi's chakra was out of the question. He knew that he needed to learn how to utilize it. He knew that the more he used it the better his control seemed to get. But using it now when there wasn't a dangerous opponent or anyone to oversee his training would be too dangerous. There was too much of chance that the Kyuubi would get bored and try something dangerous. He really didn't want to take the chance.

Instead of taking unnecessary risks, Naruto allowed himself to rest for about an hour before getting back up. He spent the rest of the morning practicing a one-handed Rasengan before finally leaving to meet up with Jiraiya.

XXXXXXXXX

As he walked to their usual training ground he wondered briefly if his lack of sleep was beginning to show. However Jiraiya's greeting wiped away any worries. The old ninja immediately started by yelling at Naruto to begin his exercises.

Once again Jiraiya took Naruto's exercise time to think. After their argument yesterday Jiraiya had gone to speak with Tsunade. He was growing concerned over the boy's continuing depression and Naruto's outburst that morning was a first. Tsunade agreed that they still could not allow Naruto to leave Konoha. They spent the rest of the afternoon discussing ways to snap Naruto out of his current funk and bring his mood back up. Unfortunately by the end of the day they had yet to come up with any potential methods and dropped the topic.

As he left her office Tsunade had mentioned that the Haruno's funeral was in two days and that he should tell Naruto. That meant that Jiraiya had two days to tell Naruto about it. He pondered momentarily if it would be better just to let the boy be. He could always claim that he had merely forgotten to relay the information to Naruto and the boy wouldn't have to deal with the situation.

He looked up just as Naruto finished the last of his exercises. The white-haired Sennin's eyes hardened slightly as he thought back to Naruto's behavior the day before. The boy was going to have to realize that danger was a part of being a shinobi, he wouldn't always be there to protect his friends and he couldn't blame himself if they weren't strong enough to take care of themselves. The funeral would be a good reminder of that.

He waited for Naruto to make his way over to him before speaking. “Today I just want you to finish working on the Katon. If you can get that perfected then we can move on to another jutsu tomorrow.” Naruto looked up at him disbelievingly for a moment before turning around. He quickly ran through the seals, the jet of fire that came out was close to fifty feet long. Jiraiya blinked several times in shock. When Naruto turned back around to look at him Jiraiya nervously scratched the back of his head and looked down at his student. “Right, well I'd say you've got that one pretty much developed. I really don't want to start you on another jutsu already,” Naruto's face fell at this, “Don't look at me like that, you've already mastered two this week. Honestly you need time to rest a bit.”

Naruto stared at him for a moment before raising an eyebrow slightly. Jiraiya sighed before taking the plunge, “The funeral for Sakura's parents is in two days. Why don't you take tomorrow off to rest up? The next day you can off as well so you can attend the funeral. The day after that I'll start teaching you a new jutsu.”

Naruto considered this for a moment before nodding. “All right,” was all he said before turning around and walking off of the training field. Behind him was an awestruck Jiraiya gaping as his student walked away from him. After Naruto disappeared from view Jiraiya came to his senses and snapped his mouth shut. As he turned around and headed in what looked suspiciously like the direction for the hot springs, he could be heard mumbling, “I don't know what to do with that little brat, why can't he be more like my other students? Damn runt I'm starting to think all that Ramen addled his brains.”

XXXXXXXXX

Two days later a number of Shinobi were gathered to say goodbye to two of their own. Many looked sympathetically towards their only child, now an orphan. The girl was standing amongst her friends, all wearing the appropriate funeral garb. For the astute observer one person was conspicuously missing. The funeral was set to start in five minutes and Uzumaki Naruto was no where to be found.

When Tsunade and Jiraiya walked up, signaling the start of the funeral, Sakura looked around once more before whimpering slightly and looking down at her feet. Many adults that saw the action assumed the poor girl didn't want to say goodbye. This would explain why many of them were startled when those of her friends that had heard it glared at the ground with such fury it was a miracle nothing was set on fire.

Tsunade looked startled when she swept her eyes over the gathered shinobi. It was a rather large crowd due to the fact that the Haruno's were well liked. But when she noticed that Naruto was absent she made a mental note to beat the shit out of the little brat for hurting his friend this much. Jiraiya noticed the looks and almost felt sorry for the brat. He was in for a lot of pain when his friends caught up to him. Of course the fact still remained that it was his own fault for not showing up.

As the ceremony commenced Jiraiya decided to have a talk with Naruto afterward. As he looked at Sakura's stricken face he also decided to withhold jutsu training for a month, Jiraiya had to resist the urge to cackle evilly when he thought of all the physical torture he could put Naruto through.

XXXXXXXXX

It had been three days since the Haruno's funeral. Naruto had been avoiding the village and all of his acquaintances like a plague.

The day after, Naruto had arrived for training to be confronted by a very angry Jiraiya. The man had spent the next thirty minutes lecturing Naruto on the importance of showing respect to those who had died protecting the village. The boy had stared at his feet the whole time nodding when he felt it was appropriate.

After the lecture Jiraiya had announced Naruto's punishment and had sent him to work. He had spent hours running, punching, kicking and dodging. Once Jiraiya was satisfied that Naruto was warmed up, he began working with him to perfect his taijutsu.

He had seen the kid use it in his fights and was anything but impressed. Naruto's taijutsu consisted of creating any amount of clones and having them jump at his enemy. Although Jiraiya admitted that it had a tendency to work, he had decided that he could use Naruto's punishment to refine Naruto's skills. He spent the rest of the day teaching the runt a more sophisticated style of taijutsu.

The next day he decided to teach Naruto patience and balance. After warming up he had been told to walk up a pole and stand there. He had been forced to patiently balance on the top for five hours with out the aid of chakra. Jiraiya had spent the day sitting at the base of the pole giggling and blushing while he wrote his next book.

That morning just after he had finished warming up Jiraiya had been summoned to see Tsunade. He had dismissed Naruto from that day's training with the promise that the next day's would be twice as difficult.

Naruto had walked away ignoring the glare of Tsunade's messenger and oblivious to Jiraiya's concerned glance.

XXXXXXXXX

Half an hour later he found himself at the Memorial stone for the second time that week. He gazed sadly at the stone before walking up and passing his hand gently over the two newest additions. He had to fight not to cry as he wondered how many would join them because of the Akatsuki. “It's my fault,” he said quietly as he dropped his hand. He slowly fisted both hands by his side and redoubled his effort to fight off his tears as he stared at the Haruno's names. “It's my fault you won't be there to watch her grow up. It's my fault Sakura is an orphan. It's my fault more are going to be hurt by those bastards in the Akatsuki.”

Naruto hardened his eyes suddenly and drew out a kunai. He glanced once at the scar on the back of his hand before bringing the kunai down across his palm. He allowed the blood to flow for a moment as he balled his hand into a tight fist before reaching out with his bloody fingers and once more running them over their names. “I swear I will not let anyone I care for be hurt like this again. I will protect Sakura with everything I have. I will grow strong no matter how hard I have to work. I spent years without anyone and now without realizing it people have taken risks by caring for me. For them I will gladly suffer, just to protect them.” With that said he dropped his hand and walked away.

It was his fault that the Akatsuki kept attacking Konoha. Last time it had happened Kakashi and Sasuke had ended up in the hospital because of Itachi. The day at the river he had put his friends at risk. Now Sakura had lost her parents because Kisame wanted to play with some more Leaf Nins. He had to do something he just didn't know what. Jiraiya had made it quite clear during their training sessions that Naruto was no match for any of the members of the Akatsuki, but at the moment it didn't matter. Somehow he had to protect his friends.

He sighed once more and looked over at the Memorial once more. Even if it meant that he never spoke to them again. Even if it meant that he lived alone away from those he cared for. Even if he became colder than Sasuke. Suddenly his eyes hardened and his fists clenched at his sides. Even if it meant joining the number of people on that stone he would never let his friends get hurt.

XXXXXXXXX

Naruto was completely unaware of the two boys sitting in the trees barely twenty feet away. Neji and Shikamaru had finally tracked Naruto down and had been about to force him to talk when they heard him speak. To say the least they were shocked by what the blond had revealed to them in his conversation with the stone; so shocked that neither could move to stop him when he slashed his hand open and swore on the stone; so shocked that neither could confront him when he walked out of the field.