Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Faint ❯ Part 14 - To hold you ( Chapter 14 )

Okay, this scene was written long time ago when Britney's video Everytime got released. No, I do like Britney. And No, I hate that song! I was surfing through channels and stopped at MTV when I saw a scene and said .. "EUREKA!"

So here we have it!

Thank you to b4k4-girl for beta-reading this for me! Mwah!

Btw, I've been reading this cute KakaIru story called Side Effects by momo4. I think you guys should check it out! It's really neat!

Enjoy!

FAINT 14

Days had passed since Iruka held Naruto in his arms as the little boy cried until he fell asleep. Iruka had stayed in his home until six AM before leaving a lovely breakfast waiting for Naruto to be consumed and going to academy and doing his daily routine. Genma was discharged from the hospital a few days back, but he had overheard Raiko telling Kakashi and Gai that Genma was in a foul mood and did not welcome visitors. He was too busy taking rest in his little humble home to deal with anyone.

The days passed by Iruka in a haze, with him moving from the classroom to the mission room and back to the classroom to mark papers and so forth. He was beginning to feel faint and sickly again and if it wasn't for Kurenai telling him to get some rest, he would have fallen ill again.

It was on a tiring Tuesday afternoon that the Hokage called for Iruka. At first, Iruka was confused, but then he dismissed the call for something mission-related. As he exited the empty classroom, he passed by the staff room and found Genma leaning against the window frame, chatting with Raido. He stared wide-eyed at the sight of Genma, feeling glad that he was okay and up and about, but hurt that he didn't say anything to him or even notified him of his presence. Iruka gave a small sad smile towards Genma, who was now laughing at something Raido said. Iruka gave one last glance towards Genma before continuing down the hall towards the Hokage's office.

XXX

When Iruka entered the Hokage's office, he found the air tight, suffocating and eerie. There was a tinge of sadness in the office space, and Tsunade herself looked solemn, but she offered him a small smile, before her expression fell back to its grim one.

"You called for me, Hokage-sama?" Iruka asked, dreading what the Hokage has to say.

"Yes, I did." Tsunade gestured for the chair. "Have a seat Iruka. I have some - some sad news." Iruka frowned and felt his limbs suddenly tremble. He made his way to the chair opposite the Hokage's desk and sat himself, suddenly feeling tense and frigid. "I do not know how to break this to you, so I will be direct." Iruka frowned even more. "N-Naruto has left Konoha." Iruka bolted to his feet, eyes wide, and stepped back.

"What?" He choked out.

"He is not a missing-nin or anything, in fact he asked my permission to leave and I gave it to him." Iruka was now shaking terribly. "I know this is hard for you, and for me as well. But he will be back. He promised. You and I both know that Naruto never backs down on his word. He's just not sure when." Iruka stared at the floor, sadness, guilt, horror, and fear all built up in him and meshed up into one horrible blank and faint feeling that he didn't know what it was. His chest felt tight and breathing seemed to be difficult. "He - He told me to give this to you." Iruka looked up at Tsunade's outstretched hand and stared at the object in it. "He told me to tell you to keep it and that he'd be back for it. It's something precious to him." Tsunade stood up and circled her table, standing in front of Iruka and clasping his numb fingers around the forehead protector. "Go home, Iruka. You don't have to come to work. Rest. Don't force yourself on things."

Iruka managed to nod and maintain his finger's grasp on the forehead protector. "Yes, Hokage-sama. T-Thank you."

Without another word, he left the office, Tsunade staring at him with sad eyes as he vanished behind the swinging doors.

XXX

Iruka blindly made his way back to the academy and robotically arranged his desk. He collected his workload and packed it in a bag that he kept in the classroom's locker. That done, he turned the lights of the classroom off and headed for the staff room to take home some things he brought with him that morning. He entered the staff room, not really seeing anything in front of him. There was a mantra going on in his head, reciting the things he needed to take home with him.

Inside the staff room, Kakashi, Gai, Raido and Genma were talking up until the point when Iruka came in. Almost instantly, Raido, Kakashi and Gai threw Genma big grins as the elder man blushed.

"I-Iruka! I came by your classroom earlier. I heard the Hokage summoned you. How have you been?" Genma spoke, glad to see Iruka again.

But Iruka did not respond. All of them noticed the glazed and dead look in his eyes as he mechanically set the bag containing his folders on his desk and randomly collected papers and scrolls, stuffing them into the bag.

"Iruka-sensei?" Raido asked, but Iruka continued walking about collecting his belongings, lips slightly parted and cheeks flushed. The four exchanged frowns as Iruka continued to gather his things.

Iruka could hear a distant rumble of voices but he did not know or see who they belonged too. He placed the last remaining stack of papers in his bag before reaching for his mug. He stopped and stared at the mug for a while. It was the very mug Naruto gave him, the one with dolphins jumping. His last mug had broken the other day so he had to bring in another spare. When he clasped his fingers around the mug's handle, it slipped and fell on the ground. It didn't break, but a part of the mug's rim cracked and a few chips fell off. Iruka's eyes glazed even more as he knelt and pick up the remaining of the mug and its broken chips and held it close to his chest. He picked up his bag and exited the room, heading for home. As he left the room, the party of four who watched him with confused and worried expressions exchanged an even more worried glance.

Iruka reached his apartment and kicked the door close. He placed his bag on the couch and set the mug on the kitchen counter, kicking his sandals off in the process. He made his way to the bathroom and plugged the tub, turned the tap on and began to fill the tub with water. He tossed in some bath liquids before heading for his room and setting Naruto's forehead protector on his dresser, next to his, all the while feeling numb. He pulled out a terry cloth robe and headed for the bathroom. Placing the robe on top of the closed lid of the toilet seat, he pulled his clothes off, tossing them outside the bathroom door and kicking it shut. He stepped into the bath and sank himself into the water, leaning his head back, staring blankly at the bathroom ceiling.

His lips parted as he took in slow breaths. He refused to believe that Naruto left. But the forehead protector lying on his dresser next to his was proof enough. And then the guilt came washing over him. Maybe it was because he wasn't there for him all the time. Maybe because he was always busy with work. Maybe because he didn't play his role as Naruto's `father' or `older brother' well enough. Maybe because he was so busy worrying about his own problems that he failed Naruto in being there for him.

Iruka sat up from his lying position and stared at his reflection in the rippling water, bits of bubbles here and there, but he could still see his wavering image. His throat began to tighten as he felt himself worthless and pathetic and how he felt that he was unworthy to be called Naruto's guardian (even though there weren't any legal works).

Iruka brought a hand to his mouth as his body began to shake and tremble with sobs that soon turned into loud wails of sadness as he cried and cried till his eyes hurt and throat felt raw.

XXX

Genma was surprised that Iruka had treated him so coldly. Perhaps it was his fault for not seeing him immediately. He heard from Tsunade when he returned to his duties that Iruka was very worried about him. Yet, after seeing him that day, he couldn't help but feel worry creep in him.

He stared at the window of his bedroom, hours later since witnessing Iruka. He couldn't help but feel worried for the chuunin. Finally, he got up from his bed and dressed, jogging towards Iruka's house that he so familiar with now.

He was surprised to find the door unlocked, and couldn't help but feel worried. It was like a classic tragedy setting, or so his mind whispered. Genma hated those cheesy tragedy settings in movies and couldn't help but smirk that the same thing was happening to him now. He was not a believer of such things, but he told himself that Iruka must have forgotten to lock the door or must have gone out to throw the garbage out.

Yet, as he stepped in and closed the door behind him, something heavy settled on his chest. He frowned and looked around, finding Iruka's bag on the couch. As he continued walking deeper into Iruka's home, he found the broken mug on the kitchen counter and his sandals tossed carelessly on the floor.

"This is so not him." Genma mumbled and headed for the hallway that lead to the bedrooms and bathroom.

Just as he was about step into the dark bedroom, he noticed that the bathroom light was on. Frowning he reached out for the doorknob, heart in his throat, and twisted it open. For some strange reason, he remembered all the cheesy movies he saw when he was a teenager and for a moment, a thought of finding blood on the bathroom tiles flashed in his mind. Steeling himself, he pushed the door wide open and his eyes widened.

"Iruka! Oh god! Iruka!" He knelt by the bathtub and quickly scooped Iruka's drooping head and leaned it against his arm, staring down at the man. Iruka was staring up at him blankly and he was barely breathing. Genma felt a smile tug his lips but it quickly faded as he watched tears escape the hazy eyes. "Iruka! Oi! Iruka!" Iruka's eyes slowly turned to meet his, and Genma smiled in relief. "Thank god! I thought you were a goner!"

Iruka continued staring at him blankly, and this caused Genma to lose the moment of relief he felt. "S-Shiranui-sa-an." Iruka said croakily, voice raw and eyes bloodshot.

"Shit! What are you trying to do to yourself, damnit? It's not funny!" Genma said, shaking Iruka. "Oi! Iruka!" His voice was now loud and panicked. "Come on! Let's get you out of here." Genma wrapped his arms around Iruka's torso and easily hauled him out the bathtub. Grabbing the robe from the closed toilet seat lid, he tossed it around Iruka's shaking form and carried him off to the bedroom. He sat him on the bed, and knelt in front of him, hands on his shoulder. "Iruka! Iruka!" He said again and again and still Iruka stared at him with the blank expression. "Damnit! Snap out of it!" Genma stood up and slapped Iruka across the face as hard as he could, making the younger chuunin fall back on the bed on his arms. Iruka remained like that and when Genma managed to contain his temper, he was left with desperation. "Iruka. Please, Iruka!" He manhandled Iruka to a sitting position, hurt and afraid at the sight of his blank eyes. "Iruka. Please. Iruka! Look at me! Speak to me!" Genma begged, but Iruka continued to stare blankly, as if looking right through him and at something else.

Genma gently began to dry his skin with the terry cloth robe. Once dried, he pulled out a yukata from Iruka's closet and wrapped Iruka in it. He then knelt in front of Iruka once more, staring into unseeing eyes.

"Shiranui-san." Iruka whispered and tilted his head to look at him. For a moment, Genma felt relief. But Iruka's next words quickly replaced this feeling with worry. "Am I a bad person?"

"No! No, of course not! Who told you that?" Genma demanded. He swore if he found out, that person would have to have his entire esophagus operated on to get it functioning again.

"D-Do you think Naruto hates me?"

"No! He loves you! Everybody loves you, Iruka!" Genma said, reached up and enveloped Iruka in a hug, burying his face in his damp hair. "I do too."

Silence swallowed the both of them. Slowly, Genma lowered the both of them to the bed, spooning himself behind Iruka, his hold on him tight and secure.

TBC

Awwwwwwwwwwww! Bleh! Not gonna last though! NI NI NI NI NI!