Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Lacking Sight ❯ You Ain't So Cool ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A/N: My gratitude to those who reviewed for me. It's my pleasure to continue to crank out chapters for your analytic eyes. ;D
And now... Chapter 1.
Uzumaki Naruto heaved a sigh of exasperation as he sank into the scalding water. His body wasn't complaining–it had been worked, beaten, and tapped almost to the point of tearing itself apart, and was more than glad to let the hot spring burn its pains away. Naruto's mind, however, was not comforted. Jiraiya, his pro-tem sensei, was really getting on his nerves. Not only did the sorry, perverted excuse for a legendary ninja force him to practically obliterate himself on a daily basis with his “training,” he never bothered to do anything for his exhausted disciple when the session was done; in his off-hours, when Naruto was either passed out from fatigue or otherwise incapacitated, he would run off to whatever passed for a bathhouse in the vicinity to do what he called “research” for his infamous Icha Icha series. It made Naruto feel like some kind of rag doll, being tossed around, ripped up, and then neglected by some sadistic, badly-parented kid.
At the same time, though, he knew that he shouldn't argue over it. After all, since he'd left Konoha on this horrendous journey, his performance had been increasing at a rate which he hadn't dreamed possible in all his fourteen years of life. Being trained by the world's most powerful perverted author may not have been fun in the slightest, but it most certainly did not make you weak. Naruto had already managed to master several explosive new ninjutsu techniques, shored up numerous holes in his taijutsu form, and perfected a few new inventive tricks involving his Kage Bunshin technique. His body, after taking brutal daily beatings for almost a year and a half, was many times tougher than it had been when this had begun. He still couldn't pull off anything other than the most basic genjutsu to save his life, but he was now capable of recognizing and, in many cases, breaking intermediate and upper-level illusions. He was more powerful than he had ever been, and he was getting better every day.
Even so, there was no way that anyone could expect Naruto to go through this kind of treatment and not be pissed off. Damn that bastard Ero-Sennin, he thought for the hundredth time that day. He grumbled as he rose from the spring, knowing that said perverted hermit was at that very moment conducting his “research” at one of the many female-only hot spring baths in this town. Most likely, he would not see hide nor hair of Jiraiya for several hours at the very least. He decided to use the time frugally, and, after redressing, headed into the nearest ramen stall to give his muscles something to repair themselves with.
OoOoOoOoO
“Ah,” exclaimed a very satisfied Naruto, “Food befitting the next Hokage... Ramen never fails to juice me up after a long week.” Of course, it had taken about twenty bowls of various flavors to do it, but the ramen cook wasn't about to discourage him; this was some of the best business he'd ever had. Whoever runs the ramen shop where this kid lives must be the richest man alive, he thought.
At a certain ramen bar in Konoha, Ichiraku Teuchi sneezed.
Now that the demands of his body had been met, Naruto turned his attention inward, toward nostalgic daydreams of home and wondering what unbelievably complicated and awesome jutsu he would be learning next... And how Jiraiya was going to run him ragged as he learned it. Even as he fought to keep from yelling, “Damn you to hell, Ero-Sennin,” he could picture his sensei's red, drooling face as he “entertained” yet another pair of floozies.
“Hell, I can even hear them,” he thought aloud. Yet, as the image of his perverted sensei faded from his head, the flirtatious giggling that he'd thought he'd heard did not go away. In fact, it was getting louder. Oh, great, he thought as he realized the truth, they're real... He swiveled in his seat to face the source of the noise, ready to yell numerous obscenities at Jiraiya, though he knew it would only get him increasingly painful training later.
Yet when his eyes found the women, it was not Jiraiya that was between them. Instead, he saw a tall man bedecked in black and green, wearing sunglasses even though he was indoors, escort them to the counter and order two bowls of miso-flavored ramen, as well as one extra-large bowl of what he called, “That super-stamina stuff.” Naruto stared. Something about this man stirred something in him. The stranger was attired as a shinobi might be, with a many-pocketed vest, plated gloves, and the usual open-toed boots... yet Naruto could not see a headband anywhere on him.
This guy... could he be a missing-nin?
However, Naruto's confused stare became an annoyed one when one of the women chirped, “Oh, the super-stamina stuff, Kei-chan? Planning some real fun tonight, aren't we?” Both she and her friend had a look on their faces that Naruto knew all too well, and it was making him mad. Grr, this guy is no different from Ero-Sennin. Well, if I have anything to say about it, he's not going to be having much 'fun' tonight... He opened his mouth, preparing to rip the sunglasses-freak a new one...
And was interrupted before he began as the man, without so much as turning a hair in his direction, said, “What are you staring at, kid?”
For about two seconds, the kid's mouth just hung open, and Keisuke wondered if he'd actually managed to shock him speechless. Unfortunately, he hadn't, and as soon as he'd gotten over being interrupted, the kid was in his face, yelling so everyone and their grandma could hear.
“Who do you think I'm staring at? Not like it's hard to notice you or anything, with all the open pervertedness you're radiating.” Keisuke tried to counter, but the blond midget's trap hadn't quite shut yet. Though he was already more annoyed than he had been for a while, he mustered his patience and waited for the storm of accusations to blow itself out. He didn't have to wait long, though, because not long after the kid started, he was halted by a slap to the face, courtesy of Keisuke's lovely escort.
“Who do you think you are, brat?” She berated him, “You barely know him and yet you fling all this in his face? Kei-chan isn't the kind of guy who would go to the bathhouse for a peep show!”
The “brat” rubbed his face, where a rather nice palm print had manifested, and returned fire. “Trust me, nee-chan, I know this kind of guy wherever I am, and you are definitely being used!”
“I am not your sister, dunce, and Kei-chan is definitely not what you think he is! He can't take peeks because he can't--”
Keisuke cut her off here. “That's enough, Konoka-san. You and Sayuri-san can go home now. I'll handle the little guy.”
She complied, though her angry glare didn't leave the kid's face until they were both outside, where she audibly groused to her friend, “Stupid brat, ruined our fun...” before she passed out of earshot. The instant they were gone, Keisuke rose and walked over to the boy, pausing to size up his aura before speaking. The kid was angry, obviously, but what he was looking for were the subtle vibrations that would signal spiking chakra and a high level of fighting power. He found them, but they were unfocused and few; the kid was mad, but not mad enough to kill. Keisuke felt no danger.
Frowning, he said, “I'm sorry that Konoka-san did that. That mark on your face looks quite painful.”
“It is. Thanks a lot, freak,” came the growling reply.
“Even so, I'm really offended by your unprovoked attempt to degrade me.”
“Um, hello! Your behavior back there was pretty provocative.”
Keisuke found himself getting more annoyed by the minute. What the heck was with this kid? Sure, he and his friends could be dirty-minded at times, but surely that isn't anything to lose one's temper over.
Though he was ticked off himself, Keisuke contained it. Maybe the little guy was just having a bad day. “I'll grant that Sayuri-san was hinting at something less than sanitary. But I can't see what it has to do with you. What's your beef with me, kid?”
“Stop trying to act cool! I hate jerks like you, acting like you own the world and getting all the attention, then abusing that attention for your own dirty agendas! That's my beef with you! All that attention you're getting, you don't deserve any of it!”
“And I suppose that you think you're better qualified?”
“Hell yeah! Anyone is more qualified than you! You ain't so cool!”
At this point, Keisuke was about ready to blow the ignorant little punk through the roof. However, his common sense got the better of him again, so he was forced to consider alternative action. Fortunately, an idea came to mind that he thought might do the trick.
“Okay, kid. How about we do this...”
OoOoOoOoOoO
Naruto grinned diabolically as he approached the nearest bathhouse. His confidence was practically visible; he knew that he was going to show that freak, and it was going to be a walk in the park. And he'd thought that the sunglasses-freak would give him a challenge...
“Go to a bathhouse, any bathhouse at all in this town, and see how many looks of adoration you get. Come back without another palm-print on your face, and I'll acknowledge that you're not just a brat. Come back with an adoring fan, and I'll acknowledge defeat and let you think whatever you want of me. If you survive, that is...
“Heh. You've made the grave mistake of underestimating me, sunglasses-freak...”
Naruto formed a hand-seal, preparing the jutsu that would win him the battle in one fell swoop...
OoOoOoOoOoO
Geez, all that just because Sayuri-san cracked the 'stamina' joke again... people must be pretty stiff where that kid lives.
Keisuke had a rather smug smile on his face as he made his way back to his apartment. He'd expected the little prick to lose hope at the impossibility of the task, or maybe to insist that nobody could do that and demand something easier. However, the block-headed kid accepted the challenge without a moment's hesitation. While he knew that the kid would fail, he couldn't help but admire the persistent spirit that he had.
Little did he know that in mere moments, that small admiration would be horribly overpowered. As he rounded the last corner, he heard a distinctly feminine voice call out to him.
“Oi! Sunglasses-freak! What do you think of me now!”
Keisuke turned and cocked his ear towards the voice, feeling for the person's aura. He was surprised to find that though the voice was female, it belonged to the same brat that had patronized him in the ramen shop. His aura was the same, but the kid had apparently transformed himself. Into a woman? He thought. Why transform into a woman if you're going to attract... That's when Keisuke perceived the other auras, the ones massed behind the kid.
Fifty-six of them. All male.
“You moron!” he yelled, “What's up with you? You were supposed to bring back women...”
The kid grinned wider. In his sickeningly girly voice, he said, “Doesn't matter! You said, 'come back with an adoring fan, and I'll acknowledge defeat!' I brought back plenty more than one! You have to give up now!”
“Cancel the illusion and see how adoring they are when they find out you're a man.”
At these words, the crowd following the kid reeled in confusion, then disgust, then homophobia. In moments, every single one of them had turned and turned and fled back to their homes, not even bothering to return to the bathhouse for their things. As far as they were concerned, it was no longer safe nor sanitary in that particular hot spring.
Meanwhile, the kid, whose defeat had just been snatched from the jaws of victory, had canceled his transformation and now sat on the ground, cursing. Keisuke then did something that he hadn't done in a while: he laughed, and hard. The kid, naturally, didn't take kindly to this.
“What the heck is so funny?”
When he'd managed to get up enough breath to speak normally, Keisuke responded, “Kid... as stupid as you are, if you'd watched those men react that way towards me, you'd just about piss yourself, too.”
“Indeed,” rang a voice that Keisuke did not know. “Watching this exchange was extremely entertaining. Perhaps I can convince Orochimaru-sama to keep Naruto-kun alive as a comic relief.” The voice was definitely malicious, and when Keisuke found it's aura, and the auras of its two accomplices, he found killer intent to match it. “We have no quarrel with you,” it continued, speaking to Keisuke alone this time, “But if you choose to come between us and our target, my subordinates and I will kill you without remorse or hesitation.”
Keisuke's percipience let him detect the flare of surprise and then hatred as the kid recognized who it was that possessed the voice. “You... you're Orochimaru's wussy errand boy! You're Kabuto!”
“Why, Naruto-kun, I'm pleased to see that you remembered,” said the malevolent one, Kabuto. “I'd give you greetings from Sasuke-kun, but I'd just be giving you false hope... He seems to have only enough room in his thoughts for Orochimaru-sama and his brother.”
Keisuke could feel the kid's chakra burning now. To his horror, it was nothing at all like the force that he had seen him muster at the ramen stall; this time, the kid was not only willing to kill, but it seemed almost like he was capable of ripping up half the village to do it. Something really big is going on here. If the villagers get involved, it could end up being a massacre. I should try to diffuse this as quickly as possible. Raising his voice over the kid's low growls, Keisuke spoke.
“Oi, Kabuto-san. Your target is the kid, Naruto, right? It looks to me like this could be a pretty destructive conflict. Are you sure you want to do this here, where innocent bystanders could get killed?”
The malicious edge in Kabuto's aura did not dissipate. “Orochimaru-sama wants Naruto-kun either captured or killed as soon as it may be done. Any hesitation on our part could lead to his enemy, Akatsuki, catching him first and extracting the demon, Kyuubi, from him for their own use. This is the most opportune time for us to act, while Jiraiya is occupied, and we will withhold nothing.”
To punctuate his words, Kabuto flung a series of knives at the kid, Naruto, who managed to dodge them easily, but whose trajectory carried him into the grasp of a third henchman, who'd hidden himself in the shadow of a nearby alley.
Keisuke made to rush for the captured boy, but he needn't have bothered; Naruto unleashed a surge of chakra that flung his captor away. Unfortunately, this burst of raw power also left a rather large crater in the street. Keisuke felt an urgent need to intervene–if this was allowed to continue, civilian deaths would become a certainty. He began to feed chakra outside his body, extending his percipience, and positioning his power for use. He wished he'd obtained the abilities that he had long, long ago, when it could have served his personal agenda. Unfortunately, he had only recently perfected them and it was useless in that particular cause now... But he'd be damned if he didn't use them to protect this village–and this funny, loudmouthed kid.
Before he could move, though, Naruto had stopped for a moment to re-concentrate his power after his burst, and Kabuto had rushed him in that interval. Orochimaru's servant moved with incredible speed and precision, striking several points in his peripheral nervous system. Keisuke sensed a sort of inversion in the boy's aura, and as he observed, Naruto began to thrash rather wildly, his movements illogical and jerky.
“Don't bother moving anymore, Naruto-kun,” said Kabuto, “You'll only hurt yourself. I used a trick that I borrowed from Tsunade. Your movements will be the opposite of the movements that you intend to make. For example, if you wanted to move your left arm forward, your right leg would be what responds. It's a very disconcerting technique, isn't it?” A couple of Kabuto's underlings laughed lightly at this, while others moved in to bind Naruto's arms and legs, and affix what Keisuke thought might be a paper seal to his abdomen. As soon as it touched, Naruto thrashed and gave a painful scream. “That seal absorbs chakra that you generate and focuses it back upon you in the form of an electrical current. If you want to have a relatively comfortable journey, we advise that you keep calm.”
Kabuto turned to Keisuke now. “I'd like to thank you for not interfering. You'll be glad to know that with Naruto-kun gone, there will be no further danger to this village.” With that, the group leaped to the rooftops and headed out towards the forest to the east of the village.
Keisuke waited until they had cleared the village walls, and then got busy. He wrapped three arms of his extended chakra around himself, digging into his skin. It itched as it sank in, but Keisuke was used to it. When it was finished, he felt the elaborate pattern that the chakra had carved into his skin, felt the power that it gave him. He was able now–he would catch them before they got far.
“Sixty-Four Ghostly Arms–Chisoku no Kokuin!”
OoOoOoOo End Chapter One oOoOoOoO