Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Madness ❯ 01 - deceptions ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Yoroiden Samurai Troopers do not belong to me.
A/N: (not beta'd)
 
 
Madness:
01 - deceptions
 
 
Seiji sat in his seat excited yet nervous and doing his best to hide it behind a quiet demeanor - playing slightly with the stitches in his gown. The room was so silent and it echoed through his body making him even more fidgety. All it would take was one wrong movement or word and they could change their mind about letting him go home.
 
He still wasn't exactly sure what he did to merit a hospital room. Maybe it was his growing lack of patience? Maybe it was the slight temper that started to take over him? Or maybe it was the seeping depression he tried to hold at bay for so long. Maybe it had finally taken over his personality. They just said he needed time. What kind of explanation was that? Time. Either way it was considered good enough to leave, with supervision of course.
 
This was the last place he wanted to be. And he had plenty of time to wonder who it was that suggested it. He tried getting it out of Shin a few times on his visits, but he always ignored it. Shin was the only one he would talk to. Sure that it wasn't him. Not his Shin, he would never cage him like this. This was… madness. But he couldn't help but feel like he had done something wrong.
 
So he got into a couple fights with Shuu and Ryo. They had it coming. They always acted like they were above the others. Maybe it was the last argument with Ryo that put him inside these walls. He was with Shin bossing him around and there was no need for that. He had to do something about it - Like he would have actually choked him to death.
 
He just wanted him to get the point. Shin just happen to get in the way. He didn't mean to push him so hard. In fact he must have cooled him when he hit the bed post. Because it took a while for him to get up.
 
Harmless, just like when he knocked the wits out of Shuu during a spar. He kept insisting that he was unstoppable. Well, now he knows better and can improve his weaknesses. And how dare he try to say he wasn't good enough for Shin. Okay, so maybe there were some other reasons for beating him senseless other than pure exercise. But it wasn't like he would have really hurt him: Harmless.
 
The door clicked and opened quietly. When Shin walked into the room bringing color to the paleness he had been imprisoned in. It seemed like such a pleasant sight. Thank god they had sent him.
 
“Hello there.” Shin smiled putting a bag on the bed. “Sorry, I am a bit late. I wanted to make sure you had some clean clothes to come home in.” He said as he started pulling clothes from it.
 
Seiji smiled slightly and watched him.
 
“I hope you don't mind but the others are kind of busy today. They said they'll see us around dinner. Won't it feel good to be home?” He said handing him his clothes.
 
“Well, it will be good to be out of here.”
 
Shin turned and looked out the window trying to be polite. “It hasn't been the same since you left. I mean I know you only been gone about two weeks, but it seems longer. We missed you.”
 
Seiji tossed the hospital gown to the bed and straitened his shirt.
 
“Its okay to say you missed us to… “Shin said turning his attention to him.
 
Seiji grabbed the empty bag. “Of course I did. Here… “He said giving it to him. “You have no idea how much it means to me. That I am going home with you.” He added realizing he sounded a little cold.
 
Shin nodded and motioned to him to go with him. The ride home was rather quiet. It was even a little unnerving for the blond. Shin usually talked a more but he even seemed to be restraining his touches from him. This distance was extremely unusual as normally the redhead was always finding some way to always touch him. This almost seemed like a task.
 
And Shin was right. The house was empty. It was normally full of sounds from ceiling to floor. But even all the lights were out when they arrived. Seiji went straight to his room. Where it was exactly as he had left it: Including a bracelet on his night stand.
 
Shin had made it for him on his last birthday. It was simple: Black leather tied to a silver ring at the middle with a couple silver beads on each side. It was delicate looking and reminded him of the water warrior: it was special. He sat on the bed and slipped it onto his wrist.
 
“We thought you might have wanted us not to mess with anything.” Shin said receiving a nod in response. “I have your medications ready… “Shin added carefully.
 
“What medication?” He asked slightly shocked, getting up to close the gap between them.
 
“Th-they sent you home on medications.” He said watching him.
 
The blond stood in front of him and looked him over. Smiled softly and adjusted some rusted locks of hair. “… Do you think I really need them?”
 
Shin stepped back slightly. “Well, the doctors put you on them. I am sure they had their reasons.” He could tell the blond was taken back with the retraction a bit. “I just want you to be able to, stay, home. Please?”
 
“Fine, what are they for?” He said giving in.
 
“I'm not completely sure but I do know one is for your depression. It will help keep your temper under control. And… it's the other one I don't know.”
 
“Why can't I give myself my medications? They are mine aren't they?”
 
“Umm… orders.” He said a little shaky. “The doctor said it's the best way in the beginning. Until you're a bit better. And Ryo said it's the only way you can stay here. Is if I monitor them.”
 
“What?? What gives him the right to say who stays and who goes? It's not like he's mister perfect!”
 
“Seiji, he just wants to ensure you get better. That's all. He's not trying to be an ass.” Shin said and held up his pills with a glass of water.
 
The blond stood quiet a moment before taking the pills and swallowing them. “Anything, else?” He asked and took the glass of water from him.
 
Shin shook his head a bit. “I am sorry Seiji. But with any luck this will only be temporary. “
 
“Right… “He said and took a drink from the glass.
 
“Well, I'll let you be for now.” Shin said ready to leave.
 
“Why don't you stay?? I haven't been able to hold you in so long.”
 
“I-I should really get dinner started. Later, I promise.” Shin said and walked away. Leaving the blond standing in the door way.
 
The room seemed to turn cold and the walls seemed to move like a heat mirage. Something was wrong and the evidence was in the distance. Something had changed dramatically while he was away. There were hints here and there in his visits, but it wasn't until he stepped away and declined him that set off the alarms.
 
He sighed a bit and shut his bedroom door. It was their simple nights together he always thought of at the hospital. He had been looking forward to just laying there and holding the water warrior. They were his secret sanctuary. He could remember them so vividly: the touch of his smooth skin and the soft caresses of gentle fingertips. Settling his soul like some sort of magic trick and let peace wash through him like a cool wave of water. He lay on the bed letting him self reminisce those nights. Sifting through them and gaining a little smile from each of them. It wasn't long before he had drifted off to sleep.
 
This was a routine for about two weeks. Medications and with in twenty minutes he fell asleep. It started to make him curious about them. So he waited until Shin had left some where with Ryo and took his bottles to Touma.
 
Who was still sleeping this morning. But decided it was important enough to bother him over. Seiji knocked on his door a few times and waited for an answer that didn't come. So he opened the door carefully and snuck in, shutting the door quietly.
 
With the slight rays of sunshine slipping through the cracks of the blinds he could make out soft outlines of the archer. When he was sleeping he always seemed so elegant, even delicious. It made him wonder how some one like him wasn't taken. But it always became clear when he woke up.
 
“What the hell are you doing in here? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Touma blurted in a rough voice, ripped from his sleep.
 
“Sorry to wake you. But I need your help. What are these for?? Shin doesn't know.” Seiji said showing him the two bottles.
 
“Oh?” Touma said as he sat up. Pulling the sheets the blond was sitting on making him slip to the floor with a slight thud. Serving only to make the other laugh before lending him a hand. “Sorry, didn't realize that was going to happen.” He said as he pulled Seiji back onto the bed. Seiji adjusted his shirt and pushed his hair out of the way composing himself.
 
Touma took the bottles and looked at the labels in the dim light. “This is your depression medication. I saw them giving it to you at the hospital. They said it's temporary if you start to improve. Think of it like training wheels.” Touma said giving it back to him and grabbed the other one.
 
Touma squinted a moment reading it. “These are sleeping pills. I would suppose they're trying to make sure you start yourself on an actual schedule.” Touma said as he handed them back to him. “And rest… “
 
“Touma?”
 
“Hmm?” He grunted as he adjusted his sheets.
 
“Did I… really upset Shin when I was gone?”
 
“Why?” Touma asked as he stopped worming around.
 
“I have been home for a while now… “
 
“Just over two weeks.”
 
“I haven't had more than twenty minutes together with him.”
 
Touma thought a moment quietly.
 
“He hasn't even tried to kiss me, Touma. And every time I try to get close to him he backs off. I don't know what I did.” Seiji quieted a moment. “I know I don't always show it… but I do need to be held and loved. And when I need him the most for it… I think maybe he's afraid of me or something. Or I repulse him?” Seiji said as he sat there thinking about it.
 
With out notice he found himself being engulfed in the archer's arms tightly. With in moments he was laying next to him in a nest of sheets. The room was quiet yet peaceful. The soft light letting the room glow a quiet gold. Some how everything just seemed to slowly melt away as he lay there, letting him hold him.
 
Maybe it was the warmth from his body. Maybe it was the soft sound of his breathing. Perhaps, it was just the simple fact he seemed like he wanted him there. He wasn't sure and it was so comforting. He never thought Touma would understand or even let him this close.
 
And he wasn't sure how long he was there, but the gold light had turned to deep cyan. Between the sheets and the archer's body heat he could feel himself starting to sweat. A slight breeze from a cracked window would just barely ease his discomfort. He wasn't ready to leave this spot and was afraid a movement would wake the other bringing this to a quick end. Seiji closed his eyes again trying to enjoy any few extra minutes he had left.
 
Drifting in and out it almost seemed like a misty dream; soft touches, gentle caresses and slight tempering with his hair. And then there was a soft whisper from him. “Any time.” Touma softly delivered with a kiss on the swordsman's pale neck before slipping away from him. Getting up and climbing into a pair of sweats and quietly left the room.
 
Seiji lay there a bit stunned not exactly sure what happened. He sat up grabbing his bottles. “Did I just… lead him on?” He asked himself. He could feel butterflies start to take flight in the pit of his stomach. As far as he knew the archer wasn't that free with his affections. Or was he just filling in for Shin. Touma could be so pragmatic that sometimes he just didn't make sense.
 
Seiji got up and left. Going down stairs to return his medications in the kitchen where he saw Touma and Shin.
 
“You're only going to make matters worse.” Touma said slightly annoyed.
 
“What is it to you any way? All of a sudden you want to get involved. Before you just walked away and asked to be left out of it.”
 
“Yeah but at every turn you're just screwing everything up worse. You And Ryo are being stupid. Be fair. That's all I am asking.”
 
“What, am I supposed to do Touma?? There's not much for options.”
 
“Be Fair. Fair Shin, just be fair. Stop giving him that. Its bullshit and he's not dumb.”
 
“It wasn't my idea.”
 
Touma slapped his shoulder with the back of his hand. “It might as well be. It's being done by your hand. You need to seriously talk with Sanada. Does Shuu know anything about this?” Shin shook his head before noticing the blond in the doorway.
 
“Know what?” Seiji asked walking into the room.
 
Touma gave Shin another look. “You better settle this tonight.” He said and started to leave. “Goodnight.” He added in a much kindlier manner as he disappeared.
 
“What's he talking about?”
 
“Oh… um, your medications.” He said clearing his throat slightly making the blond raise an eyebrow. “I lied about one of them.”
 
“What?” Seiji asked as he put the bottles on the counter.
 
“It wasn't the doctor who wants you on it. It just seemed like a good idea. I wanted to make sure you were resting.” Shin rambled out as Seiji backed him against the counter. “I am sorry Seiji. I wouldn't ever give you something if I thought it would hurt you. You just needed some rest.”
 
Seiji pinned him to the counter. “Who's idea was it? Was it yours?”
 
Shin shook his head with a dry swallow. “No… “
 
“Who's idea was it Shin?”
 
“Please, Seiji… “Shin said quietly starting to tremble a bit.
 
Seiji started to feel relaxed being close to him again and was about to lean in and kiss his neck. When he saw a tainted purple spot already painting his pale skin and for a moment the blond lost his breath.
 
“… Who's idea was it, Shin?” He managed to muster in question.
 
“Please, Seiji does it matter? I promise I'll never give it to you again.”
 
Seiji tried to keep from crying. “Just tell me.” He demanded and threw a glass that sitting next to them making Shin jump. “Don't make me ask again.”
 
“… Ryo… “Shin confessed quietly.
 
Seiji took in a few breaths and composed himself a bit. “That's all I wanted to know.” He said as he let his fingertips trace seems on Shins shirt. With a slight jerk he pulled the collar over the hickey that was screaming his guilt. Seiji shook his head a bit stepping back. “I have so much to tell you.” He said running a hand through his golden hair. “But, all I can seem to say is…. I was waiting for you.”
 
Shin looked confused remaining quiet.
 
“The whole time I was waiting for you. I thought you just need time. If you never had any intentions of coming back you should have told me. Instead of leaving me like some sort of abandoned dog: waiting for you to return. Who was it? Ryo? No… I don't even want to know.” Seiji watched as the red head's eyes widened and he put his hand over his neck.
 
“Seiji, let him be.” It was Ryo standing at the doorway.
 
Seiji turned to look at him. “And here's my fearless leader. Come to drug me or have another tussle with my lover? Perhaps lock me up again so you can get your hands on everything else???”
 
“It's not like that Seiji. You freak him out and he's comfortable with me. The drug was so you would actually sleep instead of prowling around all night. And we put you in there because you needed the help we couldn't give you.”
 
“You honestly expect me to believe that?”
 
“Well I can see how you wouldn't, but that's the truth. If you believe anything believe none of this is Shins fault. If anything he's been by your side the entire time.”
 
“Seems to me he's closer to yours.” Seiji spat.
 
“Can you blame him Seiji?” Ryo said as he walked in and stood by Shin. “You never know what you're going to do from one minute to the next. You seriously think he likes roughness in bed?”
 
Seiji looked at Shin who would only look at the floor.
 
“How many times did you bite him drawing blood? I can tell you because he always needed some one to comfort him after he was with you.”
 
“Ryo.” Shin pleaded.
 
“Shh, Shin he needs to hear it.” Ryo said as he slid an arm around him. “Seiji, you just need to realize that maybe right now… you're better off just friends. You're not well. Look at how you lost it there.” He said pointing to the broken glass. “If you really care for him you'll let him go. And you know it's true.” Shin clung to Ryo tightly hiding his face. “Just focus on becoming your old self… that's what he needs. It's what we all need.”
 
Seiji stood there a moment. Taking in the scene before him and trying to process everything he had just heard. Seiji shrugged a bit and shook his hair out of his face. “Well, goodnight.” He said turning to leave.
 
“Seiji?” Ryo said questioning his actions. “Don't you have anything to say?”
 
Seiji just shook his head. “If I did… it wouldn't matter.” He said as he left ignoring a couple attempts of calling him back.
 
Back in his room he lay in bed in a slight shock. Holding his bracelet and watching how the moon light reflected off of the silver. He couldn't hear them awake down the hall anymore. In fact the entire house seemed to be extremely quiet. It was almost like the night was mourning with him. He tried to keep himself from crying but tears would escape and were starting to dampen the tips of his hair. Pushing them back managed to dampen more.
 
He sighed and got up. Walking over to his drawer and tossing the bracelet into it. Hoping that not seeing it would help ease some of the pain. Even though he had been with out him for a while now it still felt like a fresh wound. He was what he was looking forward to but now he may not even be an option anymore. It seemed as though Ryo… he was Ryo's. How could he compete with him?