Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Now and Forever ❯ Now and Forever ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own the guys. Just having some fun with them. Sunrise and Graz Entertainment owns them. If you have any comments or suggestions, please email me at bhollan2@hotmail.com

Warning: This is a Yaoi fanfiction. If you do not like that type of thing then please leave now. You have been warned. RyoxShin, SeijixTouma (Emphasis on SeijixTouma)

Based on the song How You Remind Me by Nickelback.

Dedicated to DuoandHeero Lover who requested this fic as a challenge. The challenge being to simply use the song along with Seiji and Touma. This also fits another challenge as well. Writing a songfic to a song you have never heard before.

With Special Thanks To Winter Skye who helped me proof this ficcie. Arigatou!! ^_^

Now and Forever

By: Wildfire's Flame

Never made it as a wise man

I couldn't cut it

As a poor man stealing

Touma knelt uncaring on the cold winter ground. Snow flurried past his bare arms and a chill swept up his spine but he didn't care. His love had just swept out the driveway and out of his life. How could he have been so blind? He should have known it would never last. Ryo was too hot tempered and too demanding. Damn it!! He should have known that he would never stay with the likes of him.

Lost in misery, Touma never felt the wind turning colder, nor did he feel the wetness soaking into his blue jeans. All he could think of was that Ryo was gone and it was all his fault. He had seen what was happening, but he hadn't cared, not till it became apparent that Ryo loved another and not him. Oh, it hurt. Why did it hurt so?

Tired of living like a black man

I'm sick of sight without

A sense of feeling

Seiji stepped out of the house, a dark blue jacket was clutched in his hands as he watched Ryo drive away in a cloud of snow. Seiji saw Touma fall to the ground in despair and yet Seiji remained still, so still that he could have been mistaken for a statue if not for the shallow rise and fall of his chest. He watched as the archer knelt, lost in his own misery till he couldn't stand it anymore. Ryo you fool. Can't you see what you have left behind? What a treasure he is? Seiji shook his head. Obviously not or you wouldn't have left. Slowly, he approached the still kneeling archer. Reaching him, Seiji put a hand on the other boy's shoulder and said softly, "Touma? Daijouba desu ka?"

Touma blinked up at Seiji as if not really seeing him, and gave a short laugh that clearly said Am I all right? Yeah right. But aloud, Touma nodded his head and said, "I'm fine. He'll be back. You'll see."

Seiji nodded to himself as he wrapped the blue jacket around Touma's unresisting frame. It was plain to see that Touma was in denial, but the swordsman was not going to disillusion the archer at the moment. Instead, he folded his slender arms about the taller boy's waist and held on tight, pressing his face against Touma's hair, contenting himself with breathing in the essence that was purely Touma. The scent of evergreens and space seemed to cling to the boy of the stars permanently and it suited Seiji's own scent of rainwater and sandalwood. They complemented each other well, if only Touma would realize that. Like pieces of a puzzle, they clicked.

Touma melted into Seiji's warm embrace and forgot about the world at large. He felt safe and secure here; here in his imaginary bubble of safety. Here he could feel. He could show emotions and Seiji would not think any less of him. Seiji was after all his best friend.

And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

Holding me tight, you remind me of who I am. And what I can accomplish. You make me feel as no other. Touma turned his face upwards and caught a fluttering snowflake on his tongue. The moist flake soon melted in the heat of his mouth and it left him thirsting for more. He leaned farther back in Seiji's warm embrace and tried catching more of the soft flakes, feeling like a child and not caring.

Touma had never been himself when around Ryo. He had always been too afraid to show his real self. Afraid Ryo would leave, but maybe if he had, Ryo would have stayed. As it was, it was no wonder Ryo left when he did. What with Touma always clamming up and acting like a totally different person when around him.

Seiji studied the man he held, playfully gathering up the moist flakes, and felt his mouth go dry at the sight of that moist tongue darting out to catch the falling flakes. Against his judgement, he let his own tongue dart out to catch a few of the moist treats.

Touma stiffened upon seeing Seiji acting childlike like him. It was not in Seiji's character to do so. But Touma kind of liked it. It showed him another side of his best friend that not many see. The side where a teen still lurks, though buried under battles and scars both physical and mental.

Seiji feeling Touma stiffen, immediately desisted in his playful activities causing Touma to frown.

Touma reached up and brushed a few flakes off of Seiji's cheek. "Don't stop. It's so unlike you that I find it enchanting."

Seiji looked quizzically at him but complied with the request. His tongue darting out once more almost in tandem with Touma's own snow flake seeking one.

It's not like you to say sorry

I was waiting on a different story

Touma eyed the blond above him. The warmth of their two bodies seeping into his skin through the jacket he was wearing. Maybe I was mistaken. Maybe I am where I belong. With the one who sees me for who I am. But if this path I have chosen leads to his heart break, could I bear it? No. So I must turn away. I must. Touma pulled out of the embrace and slowly stood. Offering the blond his hand, he said "Come on. Let's go inside."

Seiji nodded, though curious as to why the archer had pulled away. Biting his lip, Seiji thought, I hope I wasn't mistaken. I thought that my lack of inhibition around him would bring him closer to me and yet, it seems to have pushed him away. My heart is breaking, but I can't let him see. He is the one who needs the comfort. I can deal alone, later. Just not now.

This time I'm mistaken

For handing you a heart

worth breaking

Touma walked a few steps away before turning back to the blond. He frowned when he saw the worried expression on Seiji's face. Too late, realization hit, that he was already breaking the other's heart. Oh Seiji, you are always so good to me, but this time I'm on my own. Can't lean on you for your support. I don't want to get you more involved.

Entering the mansion, Touma headed for living room and the fire that was most assuredly burning in the hearth. Ryo had set it before he left, saying that it was going to be cold tonight. Touma felt his insides twist at the thought of Ryo, but then his mind wandered back to the blond. Why was Seiji here, really? Touma didn't know and it bothered him. The blond had simply shown up just as Ryo was leaving Touma brokenhearted, almost as if he knew it was coming. But was that possible? Touma sat down on the thick blue rug in front of the fireplace, lost in thought, never noticing Seiji's absence till a warm mug was thrust into his hands.

Seiji had gone into the kitchen and come back out with two steaming mugs of hot cocoa with marshmallows. "Here. I put these on earlier. I figured you might need it."

Touma nodded in gratitude. "You always seem to know what I need." He wrapped his cold hands around the mug, effectively warming them from being outside in the elements.

Seiji smiled, sitting next to the archer on the rug. The glow off the fire making odd shadows around the unlit room. "Touma, I don't mean to interfere but do you want to talk about it?"

I've been wrong, I've been down

To the bottom of every bottle

Touma paused, the cup halfway to his lips. "There is nothing to say. Ryo left me. Let's just forget about it."

Seiji blinked at the bitterness in Touma's voice. "If you would listen, I have something to say to that."

Touma sighed, knowing that when Seiji used that tone of voice he might as well hear him out. He gave Seiji a minute nod causing a smile to grace the swordsman's lips.

"You have to forgive Ryo. He is a hot head and Shin well, we know he has always had a thing for Ryo. They just finally decided that they would work it out. It's not your fault Touma. You hear me? You did nothing wrong."

Touma nodded dumbly as the words penetrated his mind, playing over and over again in refrain.

These five words are in my head

Scream.

"Are we having fun yet?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no

Touma's downtrodden expression gradually lightened as he realized for maybe the first time, the truth behind Seiji's words. Looking into the blond's eyes, he saw the utter conviction there, as well as, longing? Yes, it was definitely longing. Touma blinked. "Seiji?"

Seiji never said a word. He saw the change in Touma's midnight blue eyes and simply began to lean closer to the azure-haired archer. Seiji was in love with him, and he now allowed his actions to speak for themselves. They were louder than words as he closed the distance between himself and Touma, allowing Touma to pull away if he wanted too. He didn't, giving Seiji peace of mind. Seiji stopped when he and Touma were a mere inch apart. A soft butterfly kiss graced across Touma's senses and he heard himself whispering, "Ai Shiteru, Seiji."

Seiji blinked in astonishment, not daring to hope that he had heard correctly. But no, there was Touma still seated there, the mug still between his hands, his eyes shining bright.

Touma blushed scarlet as he realized what he had just said. Ryo wasn't gone for an hour, and he was already declaring his love for another. Seiji must be putting words in my mind. After all, I know what it cost him to leave Shin. But he had to let him go, if he was to be happy.

It's not like

You didn't know that

I said I love you and

I swear I still do

Seiji reached out uncertainly. "Touma? Do you mean that?"

Touma nodded miserably, twisting away from Seiji's seeking hand. Looking out the living room window, he sighed softly. "I love him too, you know? But this . . . this feels right. Seiji, you are my best friend and have been for as long as I can remember. I don't deserve you and . . . "

Seiji pulled the archer into a tight embrace. "No, Ryo was the one who lost out here. He should never have left you. I would never have left you . . ." He reached out and took Touma's chin in his hand, forcing the erstwhile archer to look at him. "Look at me Touma. What do you see?"

Touma was taken back, not really expecting a question like that. "I see a boy my age, trying desperately to be liked. And I see, suffering and anguish." Touma held the violet orbs even with his own. "I sense understanding and compassion and . . . desire?" Touma stared openmouthed. He couldn't, could he? But what if he did? "You desire me?"

Seiji nodded, suddenly feeling quite shy. "Yes, yes I do. Very much."

And it must have been so bad

'Cause living with me must

Have damn near killed you

Touma regarded the innocent expression on Seiji's face and gasped. Comprehension dawned in Touma's midnight eyes, his mouth dropping open in an O of surprise.

Seiji smiled at the look. "Hai, I did leave Shin for you."

Touma stared in total shock. "You . . . did you have anything to do with Ryo leaving?"

Seiji shook his head. "No, that was all Shin. He finally told Ryo how he felt, and Ryo told him that he felt the same but that he was committed to you. You see, Ryo still is quite virtuous. He only left because Shin told him that I could take better care of you than he could, because I loved you."

Touma blinked, astonished and confused at everything he was hearing. Seiji broke up with Shin for him, and Ryo left to be with the one he loved so that Seiji could have a chance with the one he loved. His mind still in turmoil, he said "but why now of all times did you decide to leave Shin?"

And this is how,

You remind me

Of what I really am

This is how, you remind me

Of what I really am

Seiji blushed. "Because I couldn't stand to see you and Ryo together, and I knew that Shin didn't really love me. So I convinced him to tell Ryo the truth. It was hard for him, but he did it and now they have found each other. So that is why you can't be mad at them. They have loved each other for a while now, but Ryo wouldn't leave you without prodding and Shin didn't want to leave me alone."

Touma still stared openmouthed before everything clicked into place and he felt his heart constrict in pain for what the blond must have been going through. It was too bad that Seiji knew before Touma did what was going on. Maybe Seiji could have been spared some pain if the blond hadn't known. But then again, would he be there today in the middle of a snowstorm, if he hadn't known what was going to happen? Not likely and Touma was grateful for his presence. It was steady and warm. Reaching forward, he pulled Seiji to him, kissing him lightly. "You sure were taking a chance on me."

Seiji nodded. "Hai, but it was one that I had to take. I am sorry about Ryo leaving you. I know it hurts. It hurt when I realized that Shin didn't really love me."

Touma nodded. "Yes, it does hurt but I think it was supposed too. I mean it has to hurt before you become stronger right?"

Seiji nodded unsure where the other was going with this thought.

"Well, I am stronger Seiji. Strong enough to see that I have been a fool not to see the love in your violet eyes. Ai Shiteru, Seiji."

It's not like you to say sorry

I was waiting on

A different story

The smile that lit up Seiji's face was worth saying the words a second time.

"Oh Touma. I love you too. I am so happy that you aren't mad at me for Ryo leaving because you know he would never have left if I hadn't . . . Mmph. . . ."

Touma shaking his head had launched himself into Seiji's arms, smothering him. The empty cups of cocoa were knocked over and forgotten in Touma's enthusiasm. Pulling away slightly, he smirked down at the suddenly quiet and shocked blond. "You were babbling."

Seiji blushed without meaning too. Raising up slightly, he brushed his lips against the archer's in a tender caress. "Sorry."

This time, I'm mistaken

For handing you a heart

worth breaking

And I've been wrong, I've been down

To the bottom of every bottle

Touma grinned. "It's fine. I just had to shut you up though."

Seiji arched a delicate eyebrow at him. "Oh?"

Touma regarded him solemnly. "Yes."

Seiji then smiled and leaned closer. "Then, I think I would like to be shut up more often."

Touma laughed at the statement before whispering, "Anytime, Kourin. Anytime."

These five words in my head

Scream.

"Mom, are we having fun yet?"

Yeah yeah yeah no no

Yeah yeah yeah no no

The two Troopers soon fell asleep wrapped in each others arms in front of the fireplace. Neither realizing it was morning till two familiar voices broke into their slumber.

"Ryo, are you sure we should be here?"

"Yes."

"But what if things didn't go as Seiji expected?"

"They did."

"But how can you be sure?"

Never made it as a wise man

I couldn't cut it as

A poor man stealing

Ryo grinned at his koi and pointed. "That's how I can be sure."

Shin peered around the raven-haired boy and smiled at the sight that met his aqua green eyes. "They look so peaceful. We should go. I don't want to wake them up."

"Too late, Shin" came a very groggy voice from the general direction of the fireplace. The fire had long since died down, but hot embers still remained, glowing softly in the early morning light.

"Oh Seiji, we didn't mean to wake you."

Seiji smiled. "It's all right. Really." Touma stirred slightly in his arms and blinked up at Seiji blearily.

"Whaz going on?" he asked, his speech still heavy from sleep.

Seiji winked at him. "We have visitors."

And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

Touma twisted slightly and from his position on the floor he could make out a pair of sneakers that he would recognize anywhere and a pair of deck shoes. Timidly, he looked up at his former lover, who only had a smile for him.

"I told you that it was going to be cold last night."

Touma nodded mutely as Ryo moved past him and restocked the fire with a light touch. Soon the place was warm and cozy again. Although, Touma didn't think it got any cozier with Seiji's arm still wrapped around his waist.

It's not like you, to say sorry

I was waiting on a different story

Shin smiled at his friends, teammates and lover. Eyeing everyone with a critical eye, he said softly, "Well, I think we all found our perfect matches this time, ne?"

Three pairs of eyes turned to regard one another before turning to regard Shin.

"Hai, I believe you are right. We are made for one another with just this fit. Together always."

Seiji nodded at Touma. "Hai, together always."

This time, I'm mistaken

For handing you a heart

worth breaking

The four friends then laughed softly with one another and cuddled on the floor next to the fireplace, none ever forgetting what led them there. Always remembering, always together. Now and forever.

And I've been wrong, I've been down

To the bottom of every bottle

These five words in my head

Scream.

"Are we having fun yet?"

Yeah yeah

"Are we having fun yet?"