Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ To See the Light ❯ The Aftermath ( Chapter 10 )

To See the Light

Chapter 10: The Aftermath

Author: Crimson (crimson@glomped.com)

--

Destiny.

I couldn't stay locked up in the house like everyone else who had survived the war.

Inside I could hear their cries echoing in my ears; they were all suffering and in pain, and I knew why.

Because of me.

I don't know how it happened but I had caused the blood shed, the deaths, the pain- everything.

I deserved to die. I don't understand why they've kept me alive.

They were all survivors of the destruction and I was the cause.

I wanted to die.

The nights in the Nanashi Shadows were amazingly warm and muggy. The air seemed to stick to me, humidity clinging to my skin. The night sky was clouded and I knew something terrible was nearing. Everyone seemed to be preparing for the final hour but I couldn't bring myself to help.

Because for me the end had already come.

Sunstone was gone. My world, my comfort…my family. I was empty.

No matter how much I tried to not think about, my thoughts wandered back to Sunstone. I felt void, starring at the dark clouds up above. How ironic that the kingdom had been destroyed by their future ruler.

I snorted in disgust. My prior thoughts had apparently been correct all along. I was unfit to rule. Instead of their Queen I had become the murderer of my own people.

I was very aware of the fact that Lady Kayura, the robust monarch of the Isisis Kingdom was dead because of my own hands.

I looked down at my palms that were open in questioning. How could've I killed her? I didn't have the power to destroy the last of the Ancients! She had been a noble warrior and a crafty ruler, I was just a ruler in training. I wasn't supposed to have the capabilities to do such a hideous thing!

Drey's words haunted me, reminding me that I was the daughter of mortal blood, a nobody. So how come Lady Kayura was dead and I was still alive?

Lady Kayura's makeshift grave lay only ten feet in front of me. The ground was soft and anybody passing by would recognize that the Earth had just recently been dug into. There was no tombstone for the greatly loved martyr. Instead there was a sanguine cape draped over the grave. A golden staff with six rings was placed in the dirt, rigid, sticking out as if it was announcing Lady Kayura's divine presence.

The wind blew my long hair into my face and I carelessly brushed it aside. I was lost and alone. I had no home and I had no real roots. And I feared I didn't belong here in the Nether Realm any longer.

I had no place to go, no friends, and no family. But after what I had done, I deserved a life of loneliness, a desolate future. I knew I was not worthy of any happiness any more.

I just couldn't understand how it all had happened. My conscious memory didn't remember anything from the last couple weeks. I remember being in the Isisis Palace and then…nothing. As if I was asleep for days and days…then finally awaken to have a lingering bad taste in my mouth.

The moment I re-entered reality, a dreadful wave of guilt overtook my mind. I contiguously knew something horrifying had happened. But I was so lost.

I was on the Lucifer's Wash wearing a strange armor. I didn't remember even owning an armor. Yet it seemed oddly familiar. Like a touch I used to know long ago.

Then I remembered the six statues in the throne room. The one statue…CRUELTY. I had been wearing an exact replica of the Cruelty Armor!

At that moment I had turned, a strange surge of power rushing through me. It was awe striking!

But nothing could prepare me for the scene I was about to witness…

My eyes popped open bringing my mind off yesterday's dire happenings. I tried to dissolve the mental image of Cale holding Lady Kayura's limp remains, mourning her death.

The wind picked up and I felt a presence behind me. Somehow I knew it was him. I didn't bother to turn around. I couldn't face anybody. I deserved to be alone.

"You mustn't blame yourself Princess. You were under mind control."

I starred at the shinning staff, wishing he would go away. I was scared to look at him, afraid to see the look of disgust in his eyes towards me. Or even worse, to see a look of empathy.

I did not deserve sympathy.

"I am no longer worthy of that title. Do not me address me as Princess." I reminded, my voice resounding in bitterness.

"As you wish." Dais replied, his words echoing sorrow.

I did not understand him. He should've been offended by my earlier actions. He didn't get it; I was tainted.

I kneeled in reverence of Lady Kayura, showing my remorse openly. I fingered the cape, the smooth material of the Corruption armor was as soft as velvet. I wanted to cry for Kayura, but it seemed I had run out of tears.

I admired her love for the Warlord of Corruption and grieved over the fact that she had left Cale alone and haggard. She had departed this world to save my life.

I didn't get why she wanted to save me. It didn't comprehend. And to make matters worse I hadn't even known about Kayura and Cale. I knew I could never make it up to Cale for the pain I put him through, but I would try.

I had to. So far I had nothing else to live for.

"Tell him…" I referred to Corruption, "That I am acutely sorry. More so then he knows." My words were so simple but I didn't know how to word how I felt.

"He knows. You've already told him plenty of times. It's not your fault." Dais spoke in soft tones, "He knows that too."

I scowled, standing and facing Dais. He was wearing a plain button up white dress shirt with gray slacks. It was amazingly lucid but breath taking. But I didn't let my mind wander where it shouldn't. "It is my fault." My emotions started to bubble and I felt desperate, hopeless. "Why!?!" I demanded of the handsome man standing before me. "Why did she have to sacrifice her life for mine!? I deserved to die, not her!" tears threatened to spill but I bit my lip.

I was such a pathetic creature.

"Destiny- it is time you know the truth about your past."

I laughed despite myself, "I'm the girl without a past, remember? Has that suddenly changed?"

Dais didn't react, he only continued, "Maybe you should sit down. You haven't eaten or slept since…" his voice trailed off.

My eyes glanced behind him, to the safe house. Lights were on and I closed my eyes. Even if I had wanted to eat or sleep I couldn't. I didn't dare face them, the victims of Sunstone. With their accusing glares and vicious tongue-lashings I had received upon arriving yesterday. It was too much to handle.

Their words struck a chord with me.

Traitor!

Witch!

Murderer!

I had no idea how many lives I had taken but from those words alone I got a good image.

"Why don't you come inside with me and we can discuss this over cup of tea?" Dais suggested.

I refused, "We both know no one wants me inside. I no longer belong. Let me be."

Dais' violet eye softened considerably but he did not urge me further.

"I want to die, you don't understand." I stated flatly, avoiding Dais' watchful gaze.

Then his hands were on my shoulders, gently shaking me. "Destiny, listen to yourself! You are stronger than that! I know you are!"

I gave him a doubtful look.

"Look!" the calm, collected Warlord ran a hand through his silky white mane, "There are some things you need to know. About Kayura- about your heritage."

I said nothing but intended on listening.

"Lady Kayura sacrificed her life honorably because she felt she owed it to Anubis, my former leader."

"That doesn't make any sense. What does that have to do with me?" I starred at Dais' face, searching for answers.

"I am not sure if you are familiar with the fact that Kayura, hundreds of years ago, was possessed by the same corrupt spirit that you were. It seemed no matter what anybody did that spell could not be broken until Anubis, in a moment of desperation and extreme faith, transferred his armor to Kayura to break the control Badamon had over her."

I already knew this from Anubis' journal, but I wanted to know first hand from Dais what exactly happened.

"Being injured by the Star Swords and without his armor Anubis could not survive. So he nobly died saving Kayura." Dais seemed to be remembering the past, as his face became a mess of shadows I could not understand. "You see, Kayura felt it necessary to save you because Anubis had saved her…" he took a deep breath, "And…Anubis was your father."

"What!?" I blurted. My mind went blank. "But-"

"Don't argue with me. The resemblance between you and Anubis are unmistakable. I'm surprised I did not see them before. I had been shocked when Badamon revealed the truth, but it did make sense." Dais pointed out.

"Mia Koji?" the words rolled over my tongue, almost magically, "She was my mother, right?"

It was true after all. I was of mortal and warlord blood.

"That is why you were able to wear the Armor of Cruelty. If you weren't Anubis' daughter then you would've been rejected as a bearer."

Somehow Dais' words put the finishing touches on an unsolved puzzle.

"There are no records of your birth in the Nether Realm. I only assume you were conceived in the Mortal Realm. But I need no records, just one look in your eyes and I know the truth of your bloodline."

"Dais?" I had never seen him talk with such passion and devotion. Of course I was startled. "Why do you continue to support me and be at my side? Even after this…" I couldn't help but ask. I had to know.

I watched as Dais almost seemed nervous. But perhaps it was the lighting or a trick of the mind. The Warlord of Illusion was never unstrung.

"As Lady Kayura did, I owe respects to your father. He was a great man."

Oh. So that was it. My hopes fell rapidly.

Then again, what was I thinking? I shook any thoughts from my head that shouldn't have been there in the first place. All I was to them now was a trinket, a memory of a former warrior.

I wasn't impressed.

My father's good name wouldn't get me anywhere in life. And it meant nothing to me. I had no idea who that man was…I knew my mother, but I couldn't really remember details.

I remembered her sad voice and her will to live.

And that was it.

And I was alone.

I changed the subject. "How much longer until the demon Talpa returns?" I inquired, hiding my emotions under a mask. Dais was not going to see through me.

"We don't know. He could be back now for all we know." Dais admitted guiltily, starring up at the sky.

"I see…" and I didn't want to talk anymore. I turned away from him and let my mind slip back to the empty void I had been since I returned out of Badamon's spell.

I wanted nothing more then to just fade away to oblivion.

--

"Go to sleep, my little miracle, for tomorrow you will wake…a beautiful sunrise will light up your face…"

The lullaby reached my mind and I felt whole, felt warm all over. And most importantly I felt wanted.

"I will always love you…no matter where you go, no matter what you do…"

I wanted to giggle and spin around in circles with my hands outstretched just enjoying the swirling air surrounding me.

I didn't remember being so happy and so at ease with the world. Everything was perfect. Everything would be all right.

"Go to sleep, my miracle, for tomorrow you will wake…a beautiful sunrise will light up your face…"

Fuzzy images started to sharpen and I starred at them, a feeling of joy overtaking me. But they were so blurry I couldn't place them. Like pieces of a puzzle…

A puzzle…

"I will always love you…no matter where you go, no matter what you do…"

The singing continued and it was sweeter then elated whistling of birds. I basked in it and wished it would never end.

Though the words were sincere and so full of love, the voice seemed so sad, so alone.

A puzzle…

The fragrance of lilacs lingered in the air and it was comforting…

Where was this memory from?

"Go to sleep, my little miracle, for tomorrow you will wake…a beautiful sunrise will light up your face…"

"I will always love you…no matter where you go, no matter what you do…"

--

I awoke in a cold sweat, sitting up before my body was aware of what was going on. My head pounded from sitting up too fast and my mouth was dry.

The lullaby sauntered in my head. The words were incredibly familiar but I couldn't pin point where they had come from.

Mia Koji…

The name stuck. My mother…

Was that my mother's voice in my head…singing to me? I vaguely remembered the smell of lilacs. But those words…

I was still outside. I had haphazardly fell asleep on the ground, I didn't even remember lying down.

Mia Koji…

That name, it seemed to be telling me something.

I don't know why but something inside of me snapped. At that very moment I had to leave the Nether Realm. I had to find answers. I had to know the truth of it all…

I brushed my long, dark skirt and faced my worst nightmare alone.

There was no other way to find out about my past…

I bleakly remembered walking into the back door of the safe house, a guard eyeing me wearily, as if I was the plague itself. But he let me through without a word. Perhaps he was scared of me. His memories fresh about the killer I once was. I felt shunned, but at the same time something dawned on me.

This was how everyone still treated the Warlords. Despite their good and noble efforts they still had their record of executing innocent blood. I wished the prejudice would stop. They had been under the influence of the demon. They couldn't control it, much like I couldn't.

Inside the house all the lights were off and I figured dawn was nearing. Dormant bodies snored softly scattered across the living room, bundled in various blankets and sheets.

I recognized many- and even at one point of time I may have considered some of them my friends. But now they were strangers and I was the outcast.

Tiptoeing throughout the bottom floor I reached the entry without incident. Here was where I considered writing a note to the Warlords about my absence.

It would be the decent thing to do.

I crept silently into the den spying a desk. Even though it was uncomfortably dark I managed to creep around in the shadows unknown to the world. I eventually found paper and a pen and was in luck.

I scribbled a note in my haste and figured it would have to do. I was never well at good byes.

Leaving the note on the desk, folded, and addressed to Cale, Dais, and Sekhmet I began my trek back towards the front door.

I was almost unaware of the tranquil, unmoving body lying carelessly on the couch by the window. I would've completely missed it if the frame hadn't gently breathed, it's chest moving up and down, catching my eye.

One glance and by the silver strands reflecting from the twin moon's light and I knew it was Dais.

My breath caught in my throat and my eyes softened at the sight of him.

I never even had a chance.

I might've been a Princess before, with good upbringing and teaching, and maybe even potential. Now I was a Warlord's daughter, mortal blood, unwanted and unfit. I would bring disgrace to such a figure as Dais.

My hand reached out towards my dream but thinking rationally I withdrew it in a snap.

He was better off without me. All I had become was a burden.

I left my hopes and dreams in that room that night, too scared to bring them with me. Afraid I would cling to daydreams and it would be too cruel to my emotions to think they might actually come true.

I knew the truth.

With one last longing look at the serene image I was lucky enough to witness, I slipped out of the room with a whisper, "Goodbye…Dais."

--

I had thought the Nanashi Shadows were dark and gloomy, but nothing compared to the Dark Valley.

In general the Nether Realm was shadowy and would never generate half the warmth the Mortal Realm collected. Our sun's power was limited and its energy seem to be more focused on light instead of heat.

Isisis, hands down, was the warmest realm. Then Sunstone and the Nanashi Shadows, and finally the Dark Valley was last. It's climate and landscape consisted of cold weather and barren terrain. Additionally there was something about this Kingdom that made you extra alert. It was the spine tingling threat you received upon stepping onto Dark Valley ground.

Snow covered the soil making the lands a white, desolate barren. My clothes were less than adequate but I had nothing other then the threads on my back.

And I considered myself lucky.

The frost was consuming my hands and I could distinctly hear my teeth chattering. But I tried not to think about the dropping temperatures.

My arms wrapped around my upper body in hopes to retain what little body heat I had left. Yhough it didn't seem to be working.

I knew I was making bad time and that I was taking much longer then I should've. I couldn't help the fact that I was going so slowly. My legs felt frozen solid and they were becoming harder and harder to move. My breath streamed out of my nostrils in long, exaggerated drags. It seemed it was the only thing that stayed warm. I could feel myself staggering and I had this sick, wrenching feeling in my stomach like I wasn't going to make it. My eyes became as heavy as anvils and I wondered bitterly if this was the end.

I don't even think I was walking anymore. But then again I couldn't even think.

Was this the end? I suppose it was a fitting end for an ex-Princess of Sunstone. To freeze to death in the Dark Valley.

Somehow I managed to open my eyes as I was lying in the snow. I didn't even remember falling or hitting the ground.

I was sure I was going to die.

Not like it mattered. My life served no purpose. I was a waste.

Cruelty.

I lifted my head at the voice but saw no one. The only substance surrounding me was ice, and ice alone.

I was going insane.

I laid my head back down ready for the inevitable everlasting sleep to take over. Giving me the peace that would be eternal. No more inner struggles, no more loneliness, no more despair.

Cruelty.

That damned voice again. Where was the light I was supposed to walk towards? There wasn't supposed to be a voice.

At least I didn't think so.

I opened my mouth in an attempt to ward off the voice but my mouth wouldn't move. It was just as good though because I didn't have the strength to talk.

Cruelty you have to live…

Leave me alone, I thought sourly.

Cruelty listen to me…

I ignored the strange voice. Indeed I was cruel, but as far as I was concerned I wanted nothing more to do with that forlorn armor orb that lay discarded in my skirt's pocket. If I had the energy I would've thrown the damned thing as far as I could away from me and never looked back.

Tragically, I could not move to do so.

Cruelty I can not help you unless you want to live.

I mentally scowled at the voice's repeat use of "cruelty" towards me. I may have been delirious but I certainly did not want to be called a name that associated me with the orb.

Destiny…

I smiled inwardly. Apparently this voice listened.

You are not going to survive by giving up.

I don't want to survive, I reminded the voice. I wanted to die. The voice didn't seem to grasp the point.

I don't want you to die.

You…are the only one, I scoffed. That didn't exactly make me feel better. The only one who seemed to care about my life was an imaginary voice.

Yes God, I am ready to go. Anytime soon would be nice.

God seemed to like to mess with my mind though. While I had lost all feeling in any part of my body and my vital organs were supposed to be failing- I remained surprisingly lucid. I guessed it was that vexatious voice's fault, I cursed.

Why do you want me to live, I curiously asked in my head hoping that the voice would hear me.

When I didn't receive an answer I figured even the voice had given up hope on me. Maybe now I could pass on to the next dimension…

No such luck.

I want you to live because you are the last person left in either the Mortal or Nether Realm that can wield the power of the Ogre armor.

I didn't want the responsibility, I responded feeling odd talking in my head. I never asked for it.

Nobody ever does. It is something you have to learn to accept.

In that moment the pain I had been experiencing in the frozen kingdom seemed to disappear. Instead a blank void replaced it. I welcome the warmth it offered compared to the frozen coma-state I had been in.

If you let the armor, it will lead you to the answers you are seaking.

What!? My mind screamed, feeling a sudden panic. Who are you!?

But I never did get an answer as the void swallowed me whole and I was sucked against my will into the oblivion I had so wanted only hours earlier.

Things were going to change and I was helpless to its alteration.

--

End.

(Sequel to To See the Light is Destiny of a Warlord. Be sure to read I Believe which is a little "What If?" story that corresponds to this chapter. Also Or am I? is a short story that ties to Destiny of a Warlord.)