Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Closed Doors ❯ Chapter 9

Standard disclaimers apply.

"Closed Doors"

Chapter IX:

"Kaoru… Kaoru…," said Tanaka. "Daijoubu?" he anxiously asked while she quietly cried.

Kaoru only wailed her head. She brushed the tears off her cheeks. Her long and tormenting journey to the past was over.

She looked at Tanaka embarrassingly.

"Gomen, Tanaka-san… I just remembered something."

"Can I help you?"

"Nan demo nai," she answered. She stared at the white curtains of the nursery. "Nothing more."

"Hai, Kaoru-chan. I think I should be going now. My wife must be wondering where I might be," he said bowing to her. "Whatever problem you might have been having right now, I wish it ends soon. You look like you deserve a break from life."

"Arigatou, Tanaka-san," she replied softly.

Kaoru managed to find Hutano-san's room shortly after she had finally composed herself. She told her Yahiko will visit him tomorrow. His face glowed at the news and joyously shared a story to her. Kaoru only listened quietly from her seat.

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"Are you ready for your trip to Narita this weekend?" asked Misao.

"Hai, Misao. I've already booked a train, chartered a boat, rented a house and… ano, what else?" Kaoru replied.

"They're not building the new dojo that fast, neh? I think its unnecessary to bring along a big entourage, you know."

"Aaa, that's true, Misao-chan. But Kenshin wanted to see the site for himself. Why must he ever come along? Doesn't he trust my judgment and that of the people of my dojo?"

"Hmm… let him be, Kaoru-chan. His trying hard to win you again, can't you see? And he is paying for the whole trip anyway, remember?"

"Hai, hai. But sorry for him I'm not impressed," she said irritatingly. "Oi I forgot Misao, Hutarou handed me a letter addressed from Kyoto yesterday. It's from Okina and Aoshi-san. They're inviting us over to have a vacation there. After this Narita trip, I would want us all to visit them, what do you think? I'm sure you've missed the Aoiya."

"Yatta! REALLY? They would want us to come? Geez, Grammps really miss me that fast, neh?" she stopped. "I bet Aoshi-sama did not mention anything about me…"

Kaoru smiled at Misao and hugged her. "Iie, Misao! That's why I'm giving you this…" she handed her a white envelop.

Misao's eyes grew wide at the sight of the letter. She flung to hug her friend and smilingly excused herself to read Aoshi's letter for her in her room.

Kaoru shook her head and smiled to herself as Misao speedingly left.

She suddenly thought hard of the upcoming trip she and Kenshin will make.

This will be one hell 'ova trip for sure…

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The day came on which Kaoru and Kenshin would have to leave for the island near Narita. She decided to let Kakuya come with her for accompaniment. Along the trip, she made sure Kenshin had not got any chance to get near her.

The last few days of work in the dojo was not easy for Kaoru. In her frequent meetings and talks with him by chance, she slowly realizes that her past feelings for him did not die yet. Actually, its always been there-reminding her of the pain of losing their son and his proposal to that kitsune-musume.

She tried to shrug off her thoughts and feelings for Kenshin and tried to tell herself that this man brought so many problems and heartbreaking sorrow in her life. But her heart is such a fool…

How can she ever hide from the love that never did die? If only she can bury her feelings along with Kenji…

But love indeed work miracles. The feeling that planted on fertile ground did not wither despite the long and dry years. Maybe because it was watered by hope and prayers of a heart that remained faithful and true.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

They reached the island with no problem. They rode a wooden boat to reach it. All were tired by the trip. But the moment they saw the beauty of the place, their exhaust and fatigued were forgotten.

The waves splashed on the white rocks of the shore. One of Kenshin's men cried and kissed the white sand.

"This is paradise!" he cried.

All of them smiled. Shortly after, one of their crew sprung from behind.

"Kamiya-san! Himura-san!" cried the man. "I think we have a problem. We left some equipment back in town! We can't measure the land to be built with the new dojo without it."

"Nani?" almost everybody exclaimed.

"So what now? Don't tell me we're going back?" asked a dismayed Kaoru.

Only two of the crew came along with Kenshin and Kaoru from Tokyo; his hired engineer and her assistant, Kakuya. The two others who also went with them were natives of the island. One boat operator and one island guide.

It was almost settled that the tour guide was to stay behind with them but the boat operator told them that he doesn't know the other nearby islands too well and he might get lost.

In the end, after Kaoru's long arguments and resistance, she and Kenshin were the ones to be left behind the island, while they wait for Kakuya and the others to come back with the equipment. The guide directed them to a small hut situated in a not so far away hill where they can stay.

"Kakuya-chan, please come back-and FAST. Don't waste any time there in town, okay?" strictly reminded by the worried Kaoru.

"Hai, Kamiya-sensei!" Kakuya cried back while jumping in the leaving boat.

Kaoru gazed at the boat until it disappeared from her sight. She was successful in avoiding Kenshin all the way from Tokyo to this deserted island, but it seems all her efforts were laid to waste now.

Kaoru sighed. She tried to calm herself in the thought that a just a few hours more and the others would be coming back already. Its still early anyway. The night is still far.

"Do you want to find the hut now, Kaoru?" asked Kenshin.

She suddenly turned to the one who had spoken to her. She barely nodded in response to the ex-hitokiri's question.

Kenshin offered his hand to her so that she will not have a hard time trekking the steep road. After a few seconds of uneasiness, Kaoru laid her beautiful hand on his open palm.

This is a different world. A different place. Far from the hurt and the usual worries of the complicated life. Why would she bring her anger against the blessed tranquil and beauty of this place?

Their stares met and they both smiled. In that moment, time brought them back in the world of their bonding before… about ten years ago. Each felt light and serene.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A few minutes after, they finally saw the small hut. They quickly went inside. Both were surprised in the darkness that met them. Kenshin lit the lamp he saw hanging from a corner.

Kaoru's brows met in the thickness of dust around her.

"Everything looks messy," she told Kenshin.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe our ancestors were the last people who were here," said Kenshin.

Kaoru laughed aloud. Kenshin looked at her, surprised.

"Don't you know that ever since we've been together again these past days, its only now that I've heard you laugh?" he commented, not taking off his stare at her.

Kaoru began to feel her face and neck warm. She tried to find something to tell back, and when she couldn't find any, she decided to stay quiet.

They managed to get back near the seashore afterwards to eat the food they brought along. They hastily finished their simple lunch. When done, Kenshin invited Kaoru to take a walk by the beach.

Both walked barefooted along the white sand of the coast. Nobody wanted to interrupt the deafening quietness that surrounds them.

Minutes shortly, Kenshin began to speak.

"Kaoru…"

Kaoru turned to Kenshin. Her dark blue pools were somewhat questioning.

"Can we talk?"

She smiled. "What do you think are we doing since hours ago?"

"Iie… what I mean is… can we talk? About what happened to us before?"

Kaoru gazed at the horizon. She fixed her attention to the big waves coming from the middle of the sea, hurriedly running towards the rocky edge to break there.

"Naze?" she asked.

Kenshin paused for a while. He was almost about to say something when an unexplainable fear hugged him.

He pulled out a long sigh. Finding in his mind the questions left unanswered for a very long time.

"Because we can never avoid what we can not forever, de gozaru na."

"What do we still have to talk about? It was over, was it not?"

Her stares became sharp so suddenly at him. Her brows arching, annoyance evident on her face.

"H-hai. Let's talk about it. What do you want to know? What do you want to say?"

"I just want to know why you still haven't forgiven me yet."

"Forgive you for what?"

"I'm not playing games with you, Kaoru. Onegai, that I'am not."

"Who's playing the game anyway? You were the one who opened the topic, but now you can't even stand it. Why do you always mention forgiveness? Have you done anything wrong to me?"

"We both know what happened to us before. A thing that we know that shouldn't have been started but we were not able to avoid after all."

"What do you want to hear from me, Kenshin Himura? You want to make me say that I do realize that what happened to us before was a mistake? Is that the thing you wanted to hear from me so you can finally have your peace of mind?" Kaoru bitterly said back. She stopped walking to face him.

The sky began to grow dark. The bright sun suddenly hid at the back of the thick clouds. The waves grew bigger. Cold water played on both of their feet.

But they did not mind it. Kaoru continued to speak.

"Gomen, Kenshin. But I can't feel sorry to what happened to us before."

She heard Kenshin's hard breathing. She saw a light of hope on his face. A pain in her chest made her pause. Its so easy to turn away from everything she had planned. Let all the hurt of the painful memories melt from the warm embrace of her beloved. But she couldn't brush away the feeling that cries and asks for revenge.

"You know why? Because no matter how long it has been, I can never feel sorry for whatever that came out from it."

Thunder was heard from a distance. Lightning cut through the wide heavens. The heavy wind threatens a coming storm.

Kenshin's brow met. He did not look away from Kaoru's face.

"Now ask me now who was the boy you saw in the painting, Kenshin. Ask me now," cried Kaoru. The wind carried her voice far away… to the core of the broad sea.

Kenshin was shaking his head. He tried to put off in mind a vision that can't be succumbed by his understanding, but in his heart was already a truth… Before Kaoru can manage to say the words. Before he could hear the truth from her own lips.

"You don't believe? He's YOUR SON, Kenshin. The fruit of the mistake you want to make me say. But he's gone now. He's already dead."

Kenshin began to step backwards. He continued to shake his head in disbelief. In his face was a picture of shock, of doubt and grief of somebody who lost.

"I admit, when I learned I was pregnant, I hated him… I despised you. But he was born sickly. Shortly, I found out that he needed me. A need that I never felt from you. I loved him. But fate is such cruel sometimes. It wasn't enough that it got you away from me. It also took Kenji."

"I called at you at that time. In my heart, in my mind, I called you. Hurting may it seems but, I longed to grieve with the father of my child. It should only be, neh? It should only be because it should be us who has to mourn over his death."

Kenshin weakly sat on the sand. He put his seemingly heavy head between his hands.

Rain began to fall. Slowly. Gently. With that, he tasted in his lips the salty essence of his tears. He lifted his gaze. Kaoru was standing in front of him. Her clothes were also wet like his. Maybe she was also feeling cold. But she did not budge from her stiff stand. When Kenshin offered her his hand that seemed wanting to be condoled, Kaoru stared long at him, her true feelings not in her face.

Because the truth was that she wanted to embrace her beloved between her arms. She wanted to kiss him, caress him, love him… but her mind's command was different, and that she helplessly obeyed.

She hardened her heart, her cold voice said, "Now you know the feeling of someone who went through grief and misery alone. My mourning is finished. Now its your turn to grieve over him."

Kaoru walked away. She did not mind Kenshin's offered hand. She left him at the beach crying, under the hard rainfall, in the middle of the crashing waves near the shore.

Kenshin did not know. He did not see the bitter tears that was falling from Kaoru's eyes as her every step away from him was like a sharp dagger that pierces through her wounded heart.

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Hope you like it! One chapter to go!! Thank you for the reviews, keep them coming!