Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Random Adventures ❯ Day 2: It gets worse... ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Sailor Moon or any other anime, manga, web comic or anything
of that nature. I only lay claim to my writing, and my computer equipment.
A/N: Wow, my first original fic that went over one chapter. I'm thinking the whole bunch
of shorter chapters thing may work for me. However, I'd like to have this chapter up around
1500 words, if possible. However, it'll probably end up around 1000, or so. I'm also
working on another new fic, which will be done, eventually. I'll share more details, closer
to completion, however. I've also got one in the planning stages, which will be as insane as
Jonakhensu's "Redheads and Succubi." Then again, it'll probably be longer, per chapter.
Well, on with the fic.
Random Adventures
A comedy featuring the Sailor Senshi in humorous situations which are, as the title
suggests, random.
Written by
Caleb S. Cupples
Proofread by
Jonakhensu
Day 2:
The Hikawa Jinja, home to Hino Rei, her grandfather, and that annoying baka, Yuuchiro. A
traditional shrine, nestled in the centre of Juuban-cho, it makes the perfect meeting place
for the heroes who protect Juuban from evildoers. Yes, I'm referring to the Senshi. Let's
take a peek inside, shall we?
"...and, as I was saying, Michiru's anger caused a temporal flux, which, in turn, generated
an infinite improbability field," the resident genius, Mizuno Ami said.
"Can you explain it to us in English, Ami, dearest?" Makoto asked.
At this, Usagi facefaults, probably because of the sudden lack of oxygen in the room.
" 'ell, whenever Michiru gets pissed, we 'aven't a bloody clue about what the damn world's
goin' to do," Ami states, in Australian, or drunken Scotsman, depending on the location of
the nearest Bastard Operator From Hell.
"Um, Ami-chan, did you just say that in "Drunken Scotsman?" Usagi asked.
"Oh, sorry about that. I was just reading over the rest of the script. Yes, that was actually in
drunken Scotsman. However, I can also do "Drunken Aussie" if you want." Ami replied.

"Er, that won't be necessary," Rei said, before proceeding to faint.
"So, you're saying that the fate of the universe hangs on whether Michiru can keep her
temper in check." Usagi stated, rather intelligently, for Usagi, that is.
"Precisely. Our best chance for survival is to make sure that Michiru doesn't get angry,"
Ami replied.
#####
Across town, a certain water senshi sneezes, before going back to what she was doing,
originally. In other words, Haruka managed to forget about their "alone time."
Hotaru watched on and said, in a rather Yoda like manner, "This bodes not well."
Chibi-Usa, who was sitting beside our excessively cute, yet deadly senshi of Death and
Rebirth, begins to cower in fear, while watching Michiru chase Haruka with a mallet in
hand, similar to Tendou Akane from Ranma ½. Of course, Michiru is much cuter than
Akane, and, may I add, more destructive.
"Michi, please, I'm sorry," Haruka cries, as she is being chased by Michiru.
At this, Michiru begins to chase Haruka, even faster.
"Mommy, please help me..." Haruka cries out, before being pounded into the ground.
Suddenly, the senshi are teleported into the headquarters of Ubersoft Incorporated, maker
of the Nifty Doorways operating system, where they are greeted by a man, wearing
sunglasses and a black suit.
"Hello, I am Viktor Schreck, head counsel for Ubersoft Inc., makers of the Nifty Doorways
operating system. Now, before you go on your tour, I would like you to sign these forms,
excluding us from liability for any injury, mental damage, or loss of soul, while on
Ubersoft property," the lawyer says.
The senshi ponder over this, before signing the forms. Of course, Ami was the only one
wise enough to read the forms, which look like normal liability disclaimers, with the
exception of the "loss of soul" part.
"Thank you, and enjoy your tour of Ubersoft," Viktor says, before departing, only to have
Alice, head of marketing take his place.
"I'm Alice, head of marketing for Ubersoft, and I will be giving you the grand tour. First,
we will go to our customer support department, or, as it's known in the business, the Help
Desk," the young marketing whiz says.
The senshi are stupefied by the scene before them, so they just follow blindly into the jaws
of hell, er, the Hell Desk, that is... The first thing they see, upon entering the customer
support area, is a large, talking paperclip being bent into new and interesting shapes by two

young men, one with black hair, wearing black, and the other in a grey shirt, both in
spectacles.
"Help me, Skipper!" the paperclip shouts.
Upon hearing this, the senshi transform and drive off the young ruffians. Unfortunately, for
the senshi, this wasn't a wise decision, considering that they just helped "Binky, the
cheerful winking paperclip," which is powered by Ubersoft's patented IntelliProzac
technology.
"Gee, thanks Skippers," Binky says, after being returned to his original form.
"That was nothing," Haruka says, after they detransform.
"Come along, children, come along. We have still to observe our fully competent eSupport
team at work," Alice says, stopping the disaster, before it can be fully started.
The group is then taken into the telephone support room, where they are met by a blonde-
haired young man, in his early thirties, wearing spectacles that have multi-coloured lenses.
"Hello, I'm Alex, Advanced eSupport technician here at Ubersoft," the man says, before
going back to his game of Solitare.
Then, Mark, who was the guy in black that was bending Binky, walks up.
"So, why were you protecting Binky, back there?" Mark asks, with a hint of a questioning
air to his tone.
"Well, to us, it looked like a poor, defenceless paperclip was being tortured against its
will," Setsuna replied, in that stoic manner we are used to seeing out of the Guardian of
Time. Of course, that stoicism is broken by Usagi tripping over her own foot, again.
"Owie, that hurt," Usagi whines. Of course, this brings Binky to the rescue, which, as those
who are familiar with the webcomic "Help Desk" know, is a really bad thing. It's even
worse than Vogon poetry, it's so bad.
"Let me help you up, Skipper," Binky says, before suddenly turning evil. "Viscera,
Viscera, Viscera, Let me help you down, instead," the now evil Binky says, before
bringing out a hammer and hitting Usagi on the head, which, as we know, when hit with
anything, makes a hollow sound. However, the mystery of why Usagi's head is hollow is
much less important than the question of how a paperclip can use a hammer, but, I digress.
"That's why we don't like Binky," Mark says, gesturing towards the evil-soaked paperclip
wielding a rather large hammer.
"I thought it was because he was too sickeningly sweet for his own good," Haruka
quipped, before being hit with Michiru's mallet, thus teraporting, as opposed to teleporting
the senshi into a undisclosed company, in London, where Simon, the Bastard Operator

from Hell works, along with his fiendish, yet lovable assistant, the Pimply-Faced Youth,
while playing the AOL "You've Got Mail" sound.
"...and now, what's the best solution for dealing with irate users?" the BOFH asks.
"How about connecting a three-phase line to their computer mouse, causing a nasty shock
to him or her whenever they attempt to use their computer," Ami replies.
"Good answer, but....who the bloody hell are you, and why the bloody hell are you in my
computer room?" the BOFH asks, while the PFY goes for the tazer, to be stopped by
Makoto, or Sailor Jupiter making lightning bolts dance around her hands.
"Sir, I don't think that would be such a good idea," the PFY says, indicating Mako-chan's
power over lightning.
At this revelation, the BOFH pales considerably, as his hard work, his masterpiece is being
held hostage by a bunch of schoolgirls who, for the most part, don't realize what they have
at their disposal.
"So, what's so special about this place?" Haruka asks nervously, before being pounded by
Michiru, causing them to be teleported into their own homes, saving the wonderful and
malevolent, er, benevolent author some time.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I hope you enjoyed this chapter of "Random Adventures." The crossovers, this chapter,
were with the webcomic, "Help Desk" and the ongoing series by Simon Travailga, "The
Bastard Operator From Hell." I accept anonymous reviews, so there's nothing stopping you
from hitting that little button and reviewing. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as it's
written and beta tested.
Ja matte,
C-chan