Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Feelings From The Heart ❯ Feelings From The Heart ( Chapter 1 )

Lucy: This is just something I came up with because I wanted to write something that had nothing to do with a sexual relationship between Goku and Sanzo. More of a loving relationship, instead of a lust full one. I hope you like and approve of this!

Lirin: Little Lirin Disclaimer! Lucy doesn't own this or us! She just keeps us prisoner for her own selfish purposes! Hehehe!

 

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Feelings From The Heart

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I am telling you now, how much I feel.

I show and tell you everything.

Nothing of which has ever been heard by others.

I lay out everything that I am in front of you.

I no longer hide behind the harsh words and the beatings.

I lay myself in front of you, exposed for you too see.

You smile a serene and peaceful grin, and tell me how beautiful I seem.

I make a sarcastic noise, and your own grin becomes wider as you lean down to kiss me.

I make no noise of protest and yet, you suddenly pull away.

I could only look at you in confusion.

You lean down once more, but instead of kissing my lips, you kissed at my cheeks.

It was only then I realized I was crying.

The small child that I once was, was returning to the surface.

The look in your eyes was enough to tell me it's okay to cry.

I begin to cry, all my years of pain take over in a muffled sob.

I cry not loudly but enough for our friends in a room beside to hear and come in.

They take note of me, held closely in your arms, clad only in my jeans and leather top.

I hear their steps they make to advance and head cradled in the crook of your neck I feel you shake your head, warning to keep their distance.

Though I cannot see, I can imagine the shine in you golden eyes.

The two walk slowly out of our room, and you pull me to arms length.

I try to look away so you cannot see my tears.

You give a small cooing sound and take my chin in hand, turning my face to you.

I see you smiling softly and your hands trail up and down my arms.

I shiver in pleasure and my eyes nearly slid shut.

I want to know what it would feel like to have you inside of me, but at the same time I don't.

I don't want what Gojyo gets almost nightly from strange women.

I don't want a relationship based on sex and lust.

I want to be able to have a relationship based on love as odd as it sounds.

I feel you tug on my collar.

I tip back my head allowing you access.

I feel your lips on my neck and I'm overcome by your scent.

You smell of earth and something else that I cannot place.

I feel you looking for the place my pulse primarily resides and my breathing becomes laboured as I try to control the lust I feel.

You find the spot you are searching for, and I feel the suction from you lips increase, I smirk at the restraint you are showing.

In my mind I hear your voice, so innocent and sweet trying to convey the words I would never let you speak.

But speak you do, I hear it as loud as though you said it aloud, I love you.

You say it, but yet you seem almost unsure.

I lean forward to kiss you and I feel your shock at the fact I initiated a kiss.

I smirk deeply into our kiss.

You press yourself into me, and kiss back with all the passion you can.

I feel your need, your intensity in one small kiss.

I hold you close, relishing the feel of your body against mine.

I'll admit it now, while we're alone.

I love you with everything that I am.

I see your golden eyes widen and I think to myself, how could anyone discriminate against you?

You the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.

I don't understand how they can say that you are evil.
You who are the most pure I know.

I love you my bakasaru.

You who showed me the light I had unknowingly given you all these years.

I never understood before how one could be so in love.

I understand now.

I love you so, I could never bare to be apart.

I understand it all now.

I feel your lips working their way up towards my mouth again, one spot at a time.

Once I feel your breath on my lips, I lean up and press myself to you as hard as I can.

You kiss back with equal vigor and passion, your hands exploring my body.

I stop your wondering hands holding them tightly, interlacing our fingers.

You look at me curiously, an adorable look adorning your face.

I merely shake my head, and bring our hands to my lips as I kiss the backs of yours.

You smile softly, I see the understanding shine in your golden eyes.

You lay down beside me, arms securely around my waist, as you pull me too you.

As I put my head in the crook of your neck, I happen to hear a distant `Kyu' sound and I see our small white dragon friend, Hakuryu, staring at us.

I smile and beckon him to come to us and open my arms, allowing him to snuggle and curl up against me; Hakkai can share for one night at least.

I feel you sigh contently, and giggle under your breath.

Urasai bakasaru I snap, yet my tone is full of affection.

Aisheteru, I whisper hearing another content sigh and a small `kyu' from our other sleeping partner.

Next door, I hear Gojyo say to Hakkai, Hakuryu is gone!

The green eyed man says to be quiet and that he probably stayed with us to be sure I'm okay.

He then surprises me by calling Gojyo his love.

That must be why Gojyo never goes out after women anymore.

We're all happy now.

Our journey continues, as does our love.

What awaits us, none can be sure of.

In my minds eye, I see myself, clad in a white Chinese dress styled shirt, baggy white pants and white high heeled shoes with my golden blonde hair long and in a ponytail flung over my shoulder to my hip, holding you as you looked when I first found you locked away in Mount Gogyo, with the manicals on your wrists, ankles, and neck.

Beside me is Hakkai, in a button up burnt orange shirt and a black tie, clad in a long white lab coat and white pants with black heeled boots and shoulder length black hair like a mullet and full glasses, hanging off of Gojyo, who was wearing a long black jacket with gold trim good fitting black pants, and heeled black boots identical to Hakkai's, his hair short and missing his antenai like bangs and black in colour, his normally red eyes a deep bleu, the mark of a lower god of Tenkai on his forehead and a skull necklace on his bare chest.

I smile as I see us as we are now, sitting in front of us then.

As I doze off to sleep, content for once in my life, I hear your quiet whisper, Aisheteru Kouriyuu Koumiyou.

I smile happily pulling the small white dragon close to me, and with astonishment, I realize my master was right.

I heard a voice as he heard mine.

I was drawn to you, as he was drawn to me.

Like a moth to the light, I was drawn in.

I suppose my master Koumiyou Sanzo would have said you are the strikingly beautiful wide bleu sky, and I am the small fragile orange paper airplane, contrasting greatly, but yet, creating something beautiful in our wake.

 

~ Owari ~

 

Lucy: Well, review this is it…I hope you like it…or don't, please review or flame either way.