Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ SNL Celebrity Jeopardy's! ❯ French Stuart, Burt Reynolds, Sean Connery ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own the Celebrity Jeopardy from SNL, though they're friggin' funny or Sonic or any other Segaâ„¢ characters. So, enjoy! I'm gonna do as many as they have of these, which I think is 13, so be on the lookout for more, but not really soon! I hope you like it!

 

The camera comes into focus as Sonic the Hedgehog is positioned at his podium.

 

"Welcome back to `Celebrity Jeopardy'. Before we begin the Double Jeopardy round, I'd like to ask our contestants once again… please refrain from using ethnic slurs. That said, let's take a look at the scores. Shadow the Hedgehog has set a new "Jeopardy" record with -$230,000.” Sonic said. The camera shows Shadow the Hedgehog at his podium.

"You think you're pretty smart, don't you, Sonic? What with your Dago mustache and your greasy hair!” Shadow announced.

"Look, what did I just say about ethnic slurs? From "3rd Rock From the Sun", Miles `Tails' Prower, in second place with -$17,000.” Sonic said. The camera now shows Tails at his podium.

"I'm a late bloomer, Sonic, and in Double Jeopardy, I'm gonna bloom!” he said, closing and opening his fists dramatically.

"Sure you will. And finally, back again, Knuckles the Echidna in a commanding lead with $14.”

"Hey. Hey, ah.. check out the podium. Look at this.” Knuckles said, pointing at the podium where his name was written.

"Mr. Knuckles has apparently changed his name to Turd Ferguson.” Sonic said.

"Yeah, that's right. Turd Ferguson. It's a funny name.” Knuckles said.

"Great. Let's take a look at the final board. And the categories are: "Potent Potables"; "Sharp Things"; "Movies That Start with the Word Jaws"; "A Petit Déjeuner" - that category is about French phrases, so let's just skip it.” Sonic said.

"Hey, uh, I speak a little French. You're an assbite, pardon my French.” Knuckles said, laughing a little.

"My name's French!” Tails exclaimed.

"Yeah, well, who gives a damn?” Knuckles said, not even turning to Tails.

"Moving on…” Sonic said. “"Animal Sounds"; "Condiments"; and finally, "Your Ass or a Hole in the Ground". Mr. Knuckles, unfortunately you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.”

"Yeah, I'll take the condom thing for, uh.. eight thou.” Knuckles said, motioning to the board.

"That's "Condiments". For $400. "This condiment is made from mustard seeds".” French Stuart buzzes in. “Tails.”

"The answer, of course, is onions. I'll take "Condiments" for $800, thank you…” Tails said; the buzzer sounds to alert he's wrong.

"That's not the right answer.” Sonic replied, as Knuckles buzzes in. “Knuckles.”

"That's not my name.” Knuckles told him.

"Okay. Turd Ferguson.” Sonic hesitated.

Knuckles laughs and then says, “Yeah, what do ya want?”

"You buzzed in!” Sonic screamed.

"No I didn't.”

"Yes you did!”

"Yeah, well, that's your opinion.”

"I hate my job. The answer was "mustard". Mustard is made from mustard seeds. Mr. Knuckles, it's still your board.”

"Yeah well, why don't you give me, ah.. why don'tcha give me Ape Tit for $200.”

"It's not "Ape Tit." It's A Petit… *shakes head* ...never mind! Let's just go to "Animal Sounds" for $600. This is the sound a doggy makes.” Shadow buzzes in. "Mr. Shadow.”

"Moo.” A buzzer sounds.

"No.” Sonic said.

"Well, that's the sound your mother made last night!” Shadow laughed.

"Okay, that's not necessary.” Knuckles buzzes in. “Knuckles.”

"Who is, ah, Scooby Doo?” He said, as a buzzer sounds.

"No.”

"That was a funny dog, Scooby Doo. He drove around in a van and, ah, solved mysteries.” Knuckles said, looking around at nothing.

"That is incorrect.”

"No, that's correct. I remember he had a pal, Scrappy Doo.”

"No.” Tails buzzes in. “Tails, the sound a dog makes.”

"Um.. *breathes* ..who is John Caffney and the Beaver Brown Band, thank you very much, I'll take Animal Sounds for $800 please…” he said, as a buzzer then sounds.

"No! Good Lord! We would've accepted "bow-wow" or "ruff"!” Sonic yelled, slamming his hands on his podium.

"Ah, ruff. Just the way your mother likes it Trebek!” Shadow exclaimed, causing Sonic to shake his head.

"Come on, that's way out of line, but…” Knuckles walks up to Sonic wearing a large hat. “Mr. Knuckles, what are you doing?”

"Ha-ha! Yeah, I found this backstage, an over-sized hat. It's funny.” He said, admiring himself in the camera.

"No, it's not!”

"Sure it is. It's funny. It's funny because it's ah, bigger than, ah… *clears throat*…you know, a normal hat.”

"Uh, I see that. Get back to your podium.”

"*laughs* Take a look at that!”

"Yeah, I see it. Go back to your podium.” He said, as Knuckles goes back to his podium. “It's not funny. What's going on? Okay, let's just move on to Final Jeopardy. And the category is... you know what? I tell you what, just write a number. Any number, any number and you win.” The Jeopardy theme music starts playing. “We'll accept any number, any number at all... A one, or a two, or a three, or how about a four? It's that simple, I know you can do this.” The music ends and Sonic walks over to Tails' podium. “Let's start with Miles Prower, who's grinning like an idiot. You look pretty sure of yourself. Think you've got the right answer?”

"Yes, I'm pretty sure of it, Sonic.”

"Well, all you had to do was write down a number. And you wrote...” Shows Tails' screen. “...Threeve. A combination of three and five.” Tails nods. “Simply stunning. And you wagered…” It now shows his wager. “...Texas with a dollar sign in front of it. I'm speechless.”

"No, I did not get the answer from anyone else, it all came from Mr. Tails' noggin... *points at his head* ...up here.”

"That's beautiful. Mr. Knuckles…” Sonic moves to Knuckles' podium.

"Yeah, don't bother, I didn't write anything.”

"Good work, all right. Finally, Mr. Shadow…” He said, moving to stand in front of Shadow's podium. “The category was Numbers, and you wrote…” They show his screen. “...A letter V. Well, I tell you what, my friend - V is a Roman numeral, so despite your best efforts, you answered correctly. Let's see what you wagered…” The wager is revealed to use the V as part of a K in "Suck it Trebek". “"Suck it Trebek".” Shadow starts laughing wildly. “That's all the time we have. Good night, my…” Knuckles places the over-sized hat on Sonic's head. "Would you get that off of me?!” Sonic pulls it off his own head as the screen fades out.

 

A/N: Come on and review! You know you want to just because I'm the bestestest! Lol But really, please review! Thanks to all of you who do!