Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ Bed-side Manner V 2.0 ❯ One-Shot

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Ping- You all thought I was joking when I said I had an alternate story line, didn't you?
Drunky- Well Hell, you took long enough to get around to it!
Ping- All good things take time. Err, something to that effect... Anyway, the original version was more of a PWP to sate my rampant muses who just. Won't. Back. Off.
::glares at muses::
::muses stare innocently back::
Ping- ... bitches. This was a more dramatic one I stumbled across while I was writing Bed-Side Manner. I caught the fic before it completely ran away from me, but I kept the idea. And rather than make another opening that really might not fit, I'm using the same one. So if you're experiencing de ja vu, quit smoking crack! It's a kind of choose your own adventure type thing, if you will.
Muses- Hell no, we won't go! Hell no, we won't go!
Ping- ::snaps like a major cool mob boss and kakkoi muses jump out and attack kawaii muses::
::happy muse noises ensue::
Drunky- Enjoy! ... Or not. ::smack:: Ow. Burp. Ooh, thanks, I've needed to do that forever...

Disclaimer: I have transcended above worldly possessions in my quest for one-ness with the great spirit, and mental and emotional clarity and purity. ::snrkk:: BWA! Ok, now that I got that out of my system, I own nothing. Please don't sue, it's all in fun and free and no harm is intended. If you try to sue me, I'll steal Drunky's beer money, buy a bronze Buddha, and peace the hell out of you. You know, 'all life is suffering'...

Warnings: Language, Angst, The implied Shota Rape from before is quite rampant, this time, though not explicit.

Notes: Thanks be to everyone who left me wonderful comments on my story, it made me feel... well, like in my haste to get the damn thing going the direction I originally intended, I got people interested in a plot that didn't really exist. Second time's the charm.

Drunky- Careful, that was almost a plug.
::Naaza and Shuuten wave::

Hope it's good! Should be, it's 22 pages to the 11 in the first. ^_^ Yeah, 'm proud...

ALSO!! It's the same beginning, but with a little bit of changes, so read it too, huh? It's the only reason I didn't split them up, to save anyone time who didn't want to read the same section twice. Arigatou gozaimasu! ^_^

Bed-side Manner V.2.0

He's still not talking to me. I know he's angry, but still- it's been three days. But whatever, I don't care.

That's bullshit and I know it. I do care. Maybe if I focus on something else... I know- I'm broken, beaten and bloody! I fucking hurt!! But does he care? NO! Of course not. I shot a man in the head, so anything I say or think or feel takes a flying leap because he's 'hurt that I could be so indifferent to the lives of others.'

My arm is broken, my skull is cracked, every orifice is bleeding, I can't move my legs, and it hurts when I breathe- but I don't care about some bastard that smacked his wife around, so I don't deserve a second glance.

Whatever.

I've been there- that sick, twisted fat fuck that slurred he was my 'guardian' between gulps of beer and fetid meat did the same thing. For years I watched him beat the occasional woman he brought home, and it made me hate him all the more. I hated that there was nothing I could do about it, and the fact that the women themselves didn't really seem to care all that much made it worse for me- because they were used to it. Then he got tired of them and...

I don't want to think about that anymore- it makes me frown. And when I frown, he glares at me. Like I have no right not to smile like a fucking brainless idiot when I'm laying here on this rotten mattress, with springs digging into me, without any medical attention- he wouldn't even bring me a glass of water! I've got more sand in my mouth than in my shoes- which, yes, I am still wearing- and he just looks down his nose disapprovingly at me. Like I asked for a goblet of the blood of the man I've killed. Is that how it's going to be now? I'm always the bad guy?

I don't want to think about this anymore either. I haven't moved all day. He carried me in and dropped me on the bed, slinging a sheet up to my shoulder, and left it at that. And I don't even know how the hell I got to this point... At least I'm on my side. The ceiling's so boring, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't stare at a wall that looks exactly like it! I can hear him moving around every now and then. I could smell food earlier, and my stomach made so much racket I didn't have to ask- but I did anyway. Actually, I believe the correct word is 'begged.' The greedy bastard ignored me. I think he's a lot meaner and 'indifferent to the lives of others' than he likes to claim. I'm lying here, in pain, starving, and he just stays on that side of the room, like I don't even exist.

It'd be enough to physically wound me, if I already weren't. As it is, I'm feeling particularly grumpy. I'd act out on my anger, but I'm pretty pathetic right now, and I'm sure Vash would just laugh his ass off at me for threatening him from over here, when I can't even roll over. The only chance I get is when he's got to use the can- it's on my side of the room. The first few times I glared at him, but he was impassive- he ignored me again. After a few times, I just closed my eyes and refused to look at him. I'd pretend to be asleep, or in deep thought. Like, 'Damn Vash has to go to the bathroom a lot' or some such. I can't get much sleep, what with all the pain I'm in.

He'll help me eventually, I'm sure, he just wants to teach me a lesson. It won't help, though- I'm still going to kill if it means staying alive. And once I'm all better, the tables will be turned- I'll just leave. I love how I can do that. And the best part is, I know it annoys him to no end when I go away and come back at some odd time and then just go again, without any explanation. Of course, he's never been like this before... I don't know if he wouldn't mind it if I didn't come back. Something else I don't want to think about.

He's going to the bathroom again, time to examine the wall- a little variation, eyes open but don't look at him. I must be really bored... or maybe I'm just pathetic. He's in, no glance in my direction.

God, how long am I going to be like this? I fear there's something really wrong with me- what if Vash's little game makes any damage to my body permanent? Surely he wouldn't let that happen, but he's not a doctor... Maybe I'm overestimating his warm heart. Maybe I overestimate how much he likes me.

Maybe he would let me rot here.

He comes back out, but I'm in such a low mood now I don't have to pretend not to notice him. And oddly- that's when he pays a little attention to me. I finally notice he's still in my sight, that he's looking at me. He looks older, somehow. He just keeps looking at me- I look right back. I can't stand that look in his eyes. I don't know what it is, but it forces my eyes back onto the wall.

"If it's an apology you're waiting for, Tongari, don't hold your breath- I'm not sorry."

He shakes his head. "I know. Getting an apology out of you is like trying to get blood-" he pales a little and swallows. "- from a turnip."

He's still standing there, and I still won't look at him. So it's not a 'sorry' he wants. I don't have anything else to give him. I glance at him briefly- he still looks expectant or something. I don't have anything else to say to him either. Kill me or take me to a doctor- if you don't plan on either, then just get the hell away from me.

He stands there for a while longer, but I've zoned him out. He could start doing a ho-down in a nothing but a purple cowboy hat and I wouldn't give a rat's ass right now. I'm finally starting to feel tired, and I plan on taking full advantage of respite from my pain- Vash and his ideas and his morals and his water be damned!

I'm not him! I will never be him!... No matter how much I wish I was...

**********

He doesn't get it. I can see it in his eyes when he glares at me, or when he tries so hard to make it look like he doesn't want to. I know he's in pain- God, just looking at him... I don't think he knows how bad he really looks. I think most of him must be numb, or he has the pain threshold of a gravid sandworm on steroids. But he doesn't understand, and if I don't make him stay, don't make him realize he's wrong, he'll never see that he was.

He killed a man. He wasn't a good man, and I suspect Wolfwood had his own, deeper reasons for it. I'm not as angry by the loss of a life as I thought I would be. The look on his face when he pulled the trigger- he looked so angry, but so young and lost at the same time. He was somewhere else when he fired that gun, and it makes me ache. I want to know what goes on inside his head, maybe help him. He'll never heal if he keeps it all inside. I've seen many a man take his own life, living that way, and I don't want to ever loose Nick like that. At all.

But I almost did.

And he doesn't even know it.

I know it's my fault. I put so much stock in 'my way or the highway' and everyone else seems to matter more, but I do care about him. More than he knows, of that I'm sure. He just... confounds me. He makes me happy, but not on the inside. If I knew him better, I bet it would, but for now it's an outside only kind of happiness. Because he's there, with me, in the moment, making me feel glad, but I still know I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, completely misunderstood. So I seem hollow- it makes him angry. He thinks I lie when I smile that way- maybe I do, but I'm lying to myself, not him. I like to imagine I can be happy, even for a little while, and the fact that it's him that makes me happy is all the more reason for me to be glad. But he just doesn't see that. He doesn't see that I care about him, that I worry not about what he'll do bad, but what what might be done to him to make him do something bad.

Like right now- he's lying there thinking I'm trying to be mean, to get back at him for killing that man. I know it as well as I know my own favorite flavor of donut! I know that as it stands, if he could get up and walk out of here, he'd do it without ever looking back- he's that mad at me. And I deserve it... He's in pain, and he thinks I don't care.

If I explained it to him, he wouldn't believe me. And I am angry at him... He goes and blows away a man, and leaves. Didn't he think that that man had buddies? Waiting around the bend to take a chunk of him home with them? They were about to mount his head on a wall when I got there- six of them, all piled on top of him with the sole intention of beating him to death. It was my not-so-good name that saved him, and I know he doesn't even know it. He was out from the first hit.

Does he even wonder why he's lying in that bed, feeling like a sandsteamer rolled over him? Does he think I did that? Or that he rolled out of bed and fell through a crack in the earth, hitting every piece of brimstone on the way down?

He's so confounding! And I don't know what to say to him! He says he won't apologize- I know he won't and I never really expected him to. We live in a world where you can't really afford to do things you'll regret- if you do, you slow down and then you really get it. You have to plow ahead and justify yourself. In the off chance you do say the 's' word, it's a rarity and not something soon forgotten. Sort of like a robber saying 'thanks' as he runs off with all your valuables- and meaning it.

He could have died in that alleyway... If I hadn't shown up... God... there was so much blood. He was so still and so pale. I thought I'd lost him... And now he's so hurt and so angry at me and I still don't know what to say to him. He thinks I'll preach- what irony!- and lecture him. I don't want to. I have no reason to tell him why he should feel guilty. He feels enough right now, emotionally, and I want to know what it is, not add to it. I want to... hold him and... listen and have him listen. To have someone to understand me- it's the one of the things I want most in this world. The other is for it to be him.

**********

Wolfwood moaned and turned his head to the side. His brain was buzzing in the way that meant it was hopeless to expect to fall back asleep. He slid into awareness and slowly cracked his eyes open. His eyes didn't hurt, so he figured it was dark out.

'How long have I been asleep?'

He was about to stretch- the very best part of waking up- when his body reminded him not to move. He winced, a tiny sound escaping him, and a warm hand settled on his shoulder. Wolfwood started, jarring a few sore spots, and Vash's spiky head popped into his line of sight. He looked worried. Did the bastard have the right?

"How are you feeling?"

Oh, he sure as hell didn't have the right to ask that question...

"What do you think?" 'Why do you care?'

Vash almost seemed to hear that last part- Wolfwood felt a shameful blush rising as he reviewed the last few moments in his head. He realized he hadn't said it, but it probably came out in his voice or on his face, and he stopped feeling guilty. 'Let him infer whatever he likes.'

"I'm sorry about all of this. We can't afford a doctor right now, but maybe in a few days-"

That's all Wolfwood needed to hear. He closed his eyes and rolled over- hiding his excruciating pain- and buried his head in the pillow, back to Vash. 'I don't want to hear any excuses.'

"I've been trying! No one wants to credit us-" He stopped. 'It doesn't matter, he's not listening. Why do I even bother?' He sat on the edge of the bed, his palm laying on the pillow after Wolfwood shrugged it off. He stared at the black glove, contrasted against the white surface. For some reason, it made him think of the two of them- light and dark, in color if not anything else. For some reason he really couldn't fathom, Vash started to feel angry. He snorted and turned his back as well, glaring at the wall and crossing his arms. "After all I've done for you..."

Wolfwood snorted behind him, fueling his anger. "I pulled your sorry ass out of that alley! I kept you alive and hauled your worthless carcass two towns over! I paid for this room with the last of my money, and I've been watching over you, and this is how you repay me!? By harboring this, this, this... immature grudge against me because you think I've done something wrong-"

"YOU!?" Wolfwood sat up. His eyes widened with the shock of it and he plopped back against the pillow. Vash cradled his sweating face, but once he recovered, Wolfwood ignored that small comfort. "I never asked for your help! And you haven't been nice to me at all! You just sit over there, glaring at me- you wouldn't give me any water-"

"It'd just make you sick. I wasn't sure how much you could keep down, and the doctor-"

"-you won't let me eat-"

"You can't handle food right now!"

"-you just leave me here, tangled in smelly sheets and dirty clothes-"

"You want undressed, you ungrateful son of a bitch!?" Vash jumped up, eyes ablaze. He reached down and tore the sheet off the bed, throwing it across the room where it knocked over a lamp, which landed on the wooden floor with a crash.

Vash was seething- this was definitely new to Wolfwood. He started to get that sick feeling in his stomach that told him he'd just done something he'd regret, mixed with the excitement of seeing Vash act a way he never had before. It was a little scary- not to mention arousing- and he started to sweat. Those crystal green eyes, dark with fire, his cheeks flushed and his expression vivid with barely concealed explicatives. He held up his hands placatingly. "Listen, Va-ah!"

Vash yanked off one of his shoes, twisting his sore ankle. Wolfwood started breathing heavy, but managed to brace for the next shoe which followed the other across the room, both hitting the far wall hard. Vash was still more angry than he'd ever seen him. Well, if he'd ever wondered how to really piss the man off- short of shooting someone- shooting off his mouth about his poor bed-side manner seemed to do the trick! Vash kneeled on the bed, straddling Wolfwood's knees as he continued venting. That slightly aroused sensation in his gut began to quickly fade, rapidly being replaced by something far more familiar, older- imprinted on his very skin. 'Oh, this is bad...'

"Stupid." Vash grabbed Wolfwood's pants and yanked them, discovering they weren't leaving with his belt on. He reached up and began roughly yanking, yanking harder when Wolfwood's hands tried to stop him.

"C-Cut it out, Vash!"

"Self-centered." He finally got the belt open and his pants off, something ripping along the way, before moving on to the black jacket. Wolfwood was all arms and legs as he thrashed, trying to get him off. "What!? I'm doing what you asked!!"

"Va- Vash, stop it, STOP IT!"

Vash got his jacket open and ripped open his shirt, buttons flying everywhere. "This is what you wanted, you asked for it!"

"STOP IT!!" Wolfwood continued to struggle, ignoring his body's protest as panic began to seep into every joint. "I SAID STOP!!" Vash, breathing heavy, grabbed Wolfwood's boxers. "OH GOD PLEASE!!"

Wolfwood's hand impacted with his cheek, sending Vash's head to the side.

Vash stared blankly at the wall, the right side of his face stinging and burning. He blinked a few times. 'Wh-what was I thinking?? Nick-' He glanced down at Wolfwood and almost did a double take.

Stunned, Vash froze as Wolfwood curled into the fetal position, sobbing. Vash didn't move for a long time, except to drop his hands. He watched his friend as his whole body shook, whispering to himself.

"godpleaseohpleasestopitmakeitstop"

"... Nick?" Vash reached over, gently touching his shoulder. Wolfwood jerked and Vash pulled his hand back, genuine worry written clearly on his face.

"Stop it, just... just stop." He took great gulps of air, trying to get control of his panic, his eyes screwed tightly shut, against the horrors in his mind. "I'm fine, just leave me alone."

"Nick, I-"

"I said leave me alone!" Wolfwood glared up at Vash, but the look didn't hold as much power as he had hoped.

Vash bowed his head and stood, walking slowly to the door. He looked over his shoulder once, to make sure he should really leave. Wolfwood stared at him guardedly, the only movement the swift rise and fall of his chest from his labored breathing. Vash felt the sting of loneliness, of lack of understanding again, deeper this time, and wished with all his heart he could go back in time, figure out what was wrong and undo it. He wanted more than his life to chase the demons from his friend. Wolfwood dropped his head and lay shivering on the bed, despite the dry stale heat in the room.

'You look so lost... Where are you, Nick?'

**********

Vash was unusually somber when he bought breakfast. Usually, even the word donut had him doing cartwheels, but he just didn't have the energy to be happy. 'What did I do? I-... I never meant to hurt him, or scare him- God, he was scared! What... how can I make this up to him? What am I going to say? What happened??'

He slowly walked up the stairs of the hotel hallway, his heavy boots made heavier by his slow, unwilling gait. He knew he owed Wolfwood a huge ass, tack it on the tail of a plane and drop it on his head apology, but he still didn't want to go through that door. He stood outside for a long time, trying to get his thoughts together and the bravery to face his friend- who he hoped was still his friend. Finally deciding standing out in the hallway to avoid Wolfwood didn't speak very well of him, Vash opened the door-

Wolfwood looked over his shoulder and smiled a little, waving. "Hey, Tongari."

-and dropped his bag on the floor.

Wolfwood looked surprised for a moment before regaining his cheerfully placid expression, and stood up, straightening his jacket and smoothing out the wrinkles, thought moving a little more stiffly than usual.

Vash still stood in the doorway, jaw resting between his collarbones. Wolfwood reached into his pocket and took out a cigarette, wincing slightly before placing it between his lips and striking a match to light it. He shook out the match and nodded in Vash's direction. "I see you got breakfast."

Vash blinked a few times and stepped out into the hall. Reaffirming that this was in fact his room, his roommate, he returned. Wolfwood had picked up the bag and was walking towards him. "Wha... wha- Nick? I-I-I-"

Wolfwood smiled and gestured to the hallway, dropping the bag of pastries into Vash's arms. "Let's eat outside, huh? This room is so stuffy..." He walked past a still stuttering Vash and slowly limped down the stairs. He was already outside and sitting in an old rocking chair on the porch by the time Vash joined him.

He watched Wolfwood like a hawk as he handed him a donut and a carton of milk. Wolfwood seemed to have no trouble eating, and by the time all was said and done, all twelve were gone, but the first and only one still in Vash's hand.

"Ah, that was good! Haven't had donuts in a long time- 'course, that's usually because you've already eaten them all..." Wolfwood chuckled and smiled broadly, never faltering, even when the grin wasn't returned.

"You... you aren't... hurt?" Vash swallowed his donut and milk mechanically, never tearing his gaze away.

"Well, faced with the prospect of a few more days in that room... it's amazing what the human will can do!" He smiled, but it faded. He looked down into his lap and started pulling at a string hanging off his newly sewn-on buttons. "It's not that bad. I think staying stationary for a while helped. With no food." He glanced at Vash from the corner of his eye, not entirely serious. "Look. Forget about it."

"But, what about-"

"I said forget about it!" It came out more stern than intended, and Wolfwood's face softened, as well as his voice. "Hey... No harm, no foul."

'But there was harm, Nick...' Vash didn't dare speak it- Wolfwood wasn't ready to discuss it. 'Might never be...' He hoped it wasn't true.

Wolfwood stood up slowly, cracking his back and sighing in a not-completely invigorated way. He started walking towards the busier part of town. "You coming?"

Vash watched Wolfwood walk away for a while before throwing away the bag and empty cartons and running after. He caught up and managed a smile.

'If he's willing to try and cover this up, I can't change that. I can go along- for now. I'm not the only one who's good at hollow smiles.'

**********

With all the money saved up from the would-be trip to the doctor, which Vash could not sway Wolfwood to see now, despite his wailing insistence earlier, Vash rented them a car. Wolfwood insisted on driving- insisted he was fine and kept playing like nothing had happened, despite his awareness of the fact that Vash had gotten no sleep, since he hadn't returned to the room until that morning. Vash tried to let it go, but it was bothering him. He didn't want Wolfwood to suffer, and it had all been his fault. He felt the need to talk and listen more strongly now than ever.

But it was a long trip to the next town, and he was very tired, so Vash acquiesced, though not without some heavy assurances on Wolfwood's part.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive? It's no problem..."

"Geeze, you act like I'm a bad driver or something!"

BUMP

"... Wolfwood... Did you just run over a cactus?"

"Shut up."

After that, Vash sank into the cushions of the car and eventually nodded off. He dreamt of a beautiful, endless sea of flowers- red ones- with the wind blowing through his limp hair. He heard a laugh and turned his head, seeing his Nick likewise enjoying the cool breeze, his ebony locks gently flowing around his face. Which had the most true, beautiful smile he had ever seen in his life. And then he said he loved him. It was enough to make him weep. He smiled instead. A real smile.

When he finally woke up, it was almost dark, and they were at their destination. Vash stretched and yawned, getting all the kinks out, the fuzzy remnants of a dream that lasted hours and years and now only quickly fading moments running from him like sand through fingers. Rubbing sleep out of his eyes, he looked around for Wolfwood, but without any success. With a groan, Vash got out of the car and started walking around. It was a rather large town, which was a nice change. Not so nice considering he had to find his companion somewhere among the winding streets and towering buildings.

He heard the pleasant sounds of city life all around him. Leaning against a light pole, Vash watched with an amused smile as a small group of children played four-square. They laughed and giggled, and it warmed his heart.

"They are sweet at that age, aren't they."

Vash nodded, his eyes not leaving the happy game. "Where'd you go?"

Wolfwood exhaled, a small cloud of smoke drifting past Vash's face. "Big town. Had to find a hotel."

"And?" Vash continued to watch the happy children, until two were called away. The two behind played catch, with the same amount of enthusiasm, after bidding their playmates goodnight.

"Finally found one. Seems there's a convention or something in town. We really lucked out. I didn't figure I'd wake you until I found a room-- we'll have to share."

He almost sounded disappointed with that last statement, but his it commendably well.

"Not a problem. And thanks. For letting me get a little more sleep. I was really beat."

"Yeah, well, little Vash needs his nap, eh? Just don't keep me up all night." Wolfwood flicked his spent cigarette away, exhaling loudly, smoke coming out of his nose. "Besides, no sense in you coming along, pissing off everybody so we get lynched or run out of town..."

Vash's face fell and he looked at Wolfwood- who, of course unaffected, put his hands in his pockets and started to leave- and pouted. "Cruel!" He turned back to the children, to find only one, the other running home with the big red ball. The last child looked uncertain of what to do, before finally shoving his hands in his pockets and walking away, disappearing into the shadow of a building.

Shaking himself, Vash followed Wolfwood to the hotel, trying to find something to look at besides his friend's limp or the hands shoved into his pockets.

"... so, how'd you get the money for a hotel?"

Nick's gait didn't slow or change, though Vash found himself soon in step with him. Eventually. Wolfwood shrugged. "Ah, I know a few people around here. Pooled a few favors. No big deal... 'Course, we're screwed if we want food."

Vash felt his mood inexplicably darken at the thought.

**********

"Nn... Nnnn..."

'Dammit.' Wolfwood huffed, rolling over and looking at Vash as he tossed and turned his head, a scowl on his face. 'Wake up. W-a-k-e--u-p. Come on, don't make me get out of bed! It's cold out here!' Vash continued to experience the throes of an unpleasant dream.

Deciding that maybe if the put the pillow over his head, he could feign ignorance, Wolfwood rolled back over and tried to get some sleep, snuggling deeper into the soft comforter. He was almost asleep when a heavy weight settled next to him. His eyes snapped open as Vash's pillow plopped next to his, and the blonde gunman settled down underneath the covers.

"...you don't mind, do you?"

"Hn?"

'Alright, so no plan is foolproof. If he won't come to me, I'll come to him!'

"I can get back in my own bed, if you want me to..." Vash used his most petulant, pathetic whine he had, and it seemed to work, since Wolfwood didn't push him out of bed.

"... Nn, yeah, whatever."

"Thank you!" He smiled brightly, for the sole benefit of the back of Wolfwood's head, and snuggled closer. After a few minutes of staring at back of said head, Vash tentatively moved his hands forward, stopping as his fingertips just touched Wolfwood's bare back. He got no response, so he moved a little closer, his kneecaps just touching the back of Wolfwood's knees. Still nothing, so he inched until his chin hit his shoulder.

"Sigh... Vash?"

"Yes?"

"What the hell do you want?"

Vash sighed. 'You. Happy. With me.'

"I just wanted to... you know... talk."

Wolfwood sighed again. "I don't want to talk."

"Please?"

"Talk, later. Sleep, now!" Wolfwood moved away from Vash a little, Vash matching the distance.

"You'll just keep blowing me off later!"

"I'm blowing you off now!" Wolfwood moved a little further away.

"I think we owe each other an explanation!"

"I don't want to explain anything! I told you, all is forgiven!"

"Well, I don't forgive you, then! There!! Now we have to talk!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"Why!?"

"Because if you move any farther away you'll fall out of bed!"

Wolfwood ticked and sighed, not willing to concede. 'I know this is hard, Nick. Please, trust me.' Vash placed his hand in the center of Wolfwood's back. "And the only other way to get you to talk is to hold you down... and I'm not about to make that mistake again..."

Both were silent for a long time before Wolfwood rolled over, almost nose to nose with Vash.

"See, I've been thinking..."

"Dear Heaven, deliver us-"

"About what happened..." 'You're not going to distract me, Mr. Wolfwood.'

"Vash... just... God, just drop it! Last night... it-" Wolfwood ran his hands down his face. When he opened his eyes again, he looked tired. "It wasn't your fault, Vash. I didn't feel well, and I was a little disoriented from my headache and... I overreacted. I know you're not stupid, so if you ask me 'why' I'll naturally assume you're being a bitch." Vash's eyes began to look watery. "But it's nothing against you, so don't worry about it. It doesn't change the way I feel about you-" Vash looked confused. Wolfwood blushed and scratched the back of his head. "You know, that you're a spiky-haired bimbo that consumes enough beer and donuts to kill a whale."

Vash frowned at him. "I actually have some knowledge on whales and how much they can eat, and that's MEAN!" He looked serious again. "And I'm glad you aren't angry at me, but... sometimes... it helps to talk about it." Vash looked hopeful, but Wolfwood's face shut down.

"Not this time." He rolled over again, arching his back so he could shove Vash back. "Move over, bed hog."

Vash did, but not much. Wolfwood wasn't in danger of falling off the bed anymore, but Vash left him no room to move any further back. He looked at a spot on the wall, just above Wolfwood's ear. He leaned his head closer, smelling Wolfwood's hair and skin. '... he needs a bath.' Vash rested his chin on the back of his neck.

"When I was growing up, I didn't have many friends."

Wolfwood opened his eyes and stared ahead, out a window at the stars and moons. Vash felt an almost imperceptible shake of his head, but ignored it.

"I didn't have any parents. There weren't many people I knew at all, actually. Some people were afraid of me, even then, and avoided me. Others hated me. One night, I saw my brother being beaten up by someone who hated us. It was so savage, and there was nothing he could do to protect himself. I tried to help him, but the man was so big... He knocked me away and continued hurting my brother. He eventually dropped him, then he came over to me. He said... horrible, nasty things. And just as he was about to strike me, my brother came up from behind and hit him over the head, knocking him out. He had protected me, but I had been unable to return the favor. He had to see a doctor- he had a few broken ribs... It kept me up at night, knowing that I had let him down. I wanted to make it up to him, but... that wasn't the only time one or both of us was in trouble... and he always seemed to be the one to save us. I swore that one day, I would make it up to him. That I would be the one to take care of him. But... I failed again... He's gone and I can't help him now, I don't think. I want to, but... But now I have new friends. And I want to protect them. I want to be closer to them..." Vash closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of Wolfwood's warmth. Even if he didn't care, even if he had fallen asleep, this was good enough. He was surprised when Wolfwood spoke.

"I didn't... have any friends either. No family. My father left before I was born and my mother died a few years later. I stayed with a friend of the family, who was no real friend at all. I... I didn't like it there. It was always cold at night. I was always hungry. I had no toys, no kids my age to play with... nothing a kid is supposed to have. When I got old enough I realized why- he drank all our money." Wolfwood sighed, and Vash wrapped his arms around his waist, slowly, carefully. Wolfwood didn't stiffen or move away, and Vash felt infinitely grateful. Wolfwood sighed again. "He was a rotten person. Didn't care about anyone but himself." Wolfwood licked his lips, thinking. Vash hugged him closer, waiting patiently. "He would bring women home occasionally. They'd disappear for an hour or so, then I'd hear him yelling and her yelling... and I'd hear him hit her. I could hear it. It didn't matter that I didn't know her. One of the very few things I learned beforehand was to never hit a woman. I don't know why or where I'd gotten that lesson, but it stuck with me. I felt weak, too." Wolfwood shrugged his shoulder. "Eventually, the women stopped coming home with him." His voice grew small and distant. "I remember waking up at night... the light from the hall blinding me. I couldn't see anything but I could smell him... And then he'd saunter in, tripping over his own feet... And he's pull the covers off me, jsut looming over me- I couldn't even move." Wolfwood swallowed hard.

Vash patted his chest. "You don't have to keep going, Nick. I know you don't really want to"

Wolfwood laughed dryly. "I thought you wanted to talk."

"Yeah, I do. I want to know you, and I want you to know me. But we have time."

Wolfwood was quiet for a moment. "It took me a long time to get back to normal after that. I was almost nine before the nightmares stopped, and even then they never completely stopped... But I had so much else to think about..." He stopped again and sighed. 'Here's a good place to stop, I think... Sad- that's the only thing I have to tell him, I think, without telling too much.'

Vash squeezed him. "Do you feel any better?"

Wolfwood thought for a while before slowly nodding. "Yeah."

"Me too... Nick... you can tell me anything. I feel like I could tell you anything, that you'd never judge me."

"I wouldn't."

"You don't have to fear that from me, either. I want to be closer to you, Nick. You can tell me anything- I'll still love you."

Wolfwood swallowed hard. "I... I wish I could tell you everything, Tongari. But it's... dangerous-"

Vash squeezed him tight, cutting him off. "I'll protect you."

Wolfwood savored the words. To be protected... He believed him, completely. Who better to keep you safe than the Humanoid Typhoon? And love- he'd said love. What kind of love was hard to tell at this point, but just the idea that someone felt some form of the emotion for him... it took his breath away. 'Er...'

"Vash? You're squeezing me too tight!"

"Oops! Sorry!"

Wolfwood could hear the blush in his voice, and he waved his hand, dismissing it. "Forget about it... Um, Vash?"

"Yes?"

"... I like it... when you call me Nick. No one ever calls me that."

Vash smiled and nuzzled deeper between Wolfwood's neck and the pillow- bath or no bath. "I like calling you Nick. It's more personal."

Wolfwood made a vague sound in his chest in affirmation. "Um, Nick?"

Wolfwood savored the syllable for a moment. "Yes?"

"... I... don't like it when you call me Tongari. Could you stop?"

A moment of silence.

"Good night, Tongari."

Vash sighed. "Can't win them all, I suppose."

"Nope."

**********

'Maybe I should forget about this experiment. Science never really was my strong point...'

Vash craned his neck and looked at Wolfwood's peaceful, slumbering face. 'Nick... you have no idea how happy I am to have you here, with me... and that you don't snore... I'm finally getting what I always wanted- someone to have and hold and protect and cherish... We're just getting started, but it's a start.'

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss along Wolfwood's side. 'And tomorrow, you're going to a doctor!' He noted the angry bruises along his torso. He traced one with his finger as softly as he could.

Wolfwood's nose twitched and he mumbled something, his hand landing a stinging slap on Vash's hand, as if it were a bug. Vash pulled back his hand, his brows furrowed and waving it in the air, a silent 'ow' on his face. After the sting died down a little, Vash settled his hand back on Wolfwood's side, with a little more pressure this time, so as not to be mistaken for some insect again. Wolfwood hummed in his sleep.

'What's going on in that head of yours?' Vash, true to Wolfwood's words, knew what tragedy had befallen him as a child, and felt pleased that it obviously wasn't plaguing him anymore. They had shared rooms a great many times, and he had never recalled Wolfwood in the throes of a night terror, though it was reported he could sleep through a damn lot. There was a slight smile tugging at his friend's lips, and Vash took to pondering them instead. Wondered if they were as soft as they looked. Wondered at how lovely they looked when stretched into a smile. Wondered if they tasted like sweet candy... but more likely tasting like an ashtray. Thoughts of his smile brought him to contemplate his eyes, closed as they were at the moment, long lashes brushing his cheeks. If not for that... uh, prominent nose, he'd easily be considered quite pretty. But it threw off his features just enough to make him dazzlingly charming and seductive. So handsome. Not unlike himself, he chuckled, involuntarily brushing stray locks of gold from his face.

"That grin can only mean one thing."

Vash's eyes popped open, meeting Wolfwood's deep, deep blue. "... yipe? Uh, ahem, what?"

"You're up to no good."

"Really?" Vash tried to look innocent, but really- who was he trying to fool?

"That's the same look you get before you put the moves on some broad. Grab her butt or something."

'Experimentation time!' Vash's mind helpfully supplied as he reached around and clasped a sheet covered ass cheek. He grinned and prayed for either a nice outcome or a swift death.

He had to wait, though, Wolfwood was having a hard time processing the fact that Vash's cybernetic arms was squeezing his rear like an inexperienced thirteen year old with his first breast. Then, it sank in, and a blush rose to his cheeks. The ones on his face, that is.

'Oh god, he's doing it to the rhythm of a song. Vash... is squeezing a waltz on my ass.'

Wolfwood sweat dropped. Any animosity he might have felt- though he never did- was immediately lost in that one ridiculous act and Vash's equally ridiculous grin. A chuckle turned into an out and out guffaw by the time it reached his lips, and Vash caught the bug, both laughing then giggling like little girls, Vash's hand still on Wolfwood's rear, as the bed shook with the force.

Blinking tears from his eyes, Wolfwood tried to get himself under control to speak, and failed miserably, only sparking more laughs from Vash which in turn made him laugh all the harder.

"Oh, oh, my sides. Owwwww..." Wolfwood folded in on himself, holding his midsection, and Vash wrapped his other arm around his shoulders, clasping the poor man to his chest as the bed continued to creak and groan.

"It's...ha, it's good to hear you lahaa-" His last word was lost in another round of laughing, and Wolfwood was soon smacking his shoulder, trying to calm them both down.

"Oh! Oh! Vash!!" He smiled broadly.

"Yes? Naaahahaha!" Vash snorted at his laugh as it suddenly took a turn towards from human to thomas.

"Why would you go and do a thing like that?"

"Are you mad?" Vash looked hopeful, and really, Wolfwood couldn't imagine ever being mad at this man, though he often was.

"No."

"Good. I was kind of afraid... you know, but... I wondered what. You know... it felt like."

"To squeeze an ass?"

"Uh, not really. Just yours, mainly."

"Oh."

They looked at each other for a moment, the gaiety of the moment toned down at last. Blushing suddenly, Vash removed his hand and wrapped it gingerly around Wolfwood's midsection, careful not to squeeze too tight. It felt good, having that warm, soft and pliant body against his own, and Vash sighed in appreciation.

A tentative hand running from his shoulder to his elbow and back brought his attention back down to the man in his arms. Wolfwood looked up at him, with that something in his eyes, and he felt as though he could weep again. Just like the dream, whose remnants were slowly flashing before him. His Nick. Happy, carefree... So he grinned instead. It was the dream, now- the only one he could remember- the dream he'd been having since before he'd ever met the traveling priest. They were always together, he realized, he just didn't know who he was yet- until now.

And he smiled again, and the genuine emotion behind it made Wolfwood smile, too, in that beautiful genuine way, all sadness gone from his eyes, the shadows of his past receding in light of Vash's presence.

"I'll protect you." Vash confided.

"I know." Nick assured.

"I meant it, when I said I loved you."

"I know." Nick squeezed Vash's elbow. "And I meant it, too."

Vash smiled, before a thought struck him like a frying pan. "Uh... you didn't actually say it."

"Yes I did." Nick chuckled.

"Um, no, you didn't." Vash tittered uneasily.

Nick's smile dimmed, a nerve twitching over his eye. "Yeah. I did."

"I hate to disagree with you, but-"

"Shut the hell up, I love you already!"

Vash's eyes watered. "R-Really??"

Nick tsked, and slowly, almost too slow for Vash's wide, disbelieving eyes, he angled his head, aligning their parted lips. So close now, Vash could smell his breath- cigarettes, of course- and just a wet heat that he desperately wanted to drown in. Nick's dark eyes fluttered shut, presenting Vash with an utterly erotic sight.

Creak.

Eyes popped open.

Crack.

"Um..." Vash mumbled.

BANG!

The bed collapsed to the floor, the sound of many angry springs scraping the wooden floor, screws flying across the floor, the floor itself even protesting with an unsettling groan.

The two looked at each other, frozen, wearing identical looks of shock, suspense, and the need to burst into laughing- which had obviously caused the collapse in the first place.

"What the hell." Nick choked out, resting his forehead against Vash's chin. "It's not like the bed can get any closer to the floor."

Both started to laugh again- such a wonderful feeling, in such a serious world.

It got a lot more serious when the floor creaked again.

The poor bastards one floor down never saw it coming.

**********

"Hey'a, Tongari, how you doing?"

"Nnnn."

"That bad, huh?" Wolfwood pulled up a chair and sat down, straddling the back of it as he leaned over to plant a soft kiss to Vash's forehead, then taking off his sunglasses and tucking them in his jacket pocket. "The doc says you'll be as good as new in a few days. We're just lucky I had a few more favors coming to me."

"Nnnnn."

"Come again?" Wolfwood craned his neck to place his ear closer to Vash's mouth- he assumed. His whole damn body was just one big gauze wrap, one opening for a bleary eye to peep through the only indication Vash wasn't a mummy on display at a museum.

"How... ow... do you... ow... rrrrrr feel???" Vash manage to mumble out.

Wolfwood pulled back and shrugged. "Well, thanks to landing on you, not too bad. The hotel wants big reparations, though. Poor guy under us... scarred for life, I'm afraid."

Vash's eye widened. "Will... will he be okay?"

"What? No, he's fine. Just freaked at seeing two nearly naked guys in a busted bed come crashing through his ceiling. Didn't say much, except something about 'damn honeymooners' or something." Wolfwood shrugged again, grinning lecherously. "I'm just glad we weren't doing anything truly wicked to break the bed. You might have a few more sprains on you!" Wolfwood laughed heartily, slapping on Vash's shoulder.

Tears leaking from his eyes from the pain of the blow and completely not sharing in his companion's mirth, Vash shot him an angry glare and a mumble he was probably just as happy not to understand.

"... Or not." Wolfwood's look turned more sly. He leaned over, slowly lowering his head, eyes never leaving contact with Vash's. "Well, maybe when you get better?" He smirked again, positively evil, as he pecked a whimpering Vash on his cloth covered lips.

He smirked again in satisfaction at the pained and exasperated groan from his prostrate friend, as he straightened his jacket and put his glasses back on.

"Now, don't give the nurses any hard time, got it Tongari? And you get out of here, too." He winked before pushing his shades up the bridge of his nose, black lenses obscuring his eyes from view completely. "Don't worry, I'll be back Wednesday to take you home. I'll protect you, too, you know."

"That protective instinct oddly enough, didn't seem to be apparent when we were being HURTLED THROUGH THE AIR!" Vash replied hotly, trying to struggle free from his bonds and bed as Wolfwood walked away, laughing to himself. As he shut the door behind him, he heard a nurse scolding the blonde before a loud crash was heard.

'Better make that Saturday.'

**********

A wife beater, a child neglecter, a drunkard, and lousy skunk of a man. Here lies so-and-so born then and died here. The dash, the date, the end.

Ashes and dust, Holy Hells have mercy.

Wolfwood placed a small batch of purple flowers, already drying out in the early afternoon sun, at the base of an already sandblasted wooden cross. Behind him, Vash watched silently. Proudly.

'Sorry I shot you. You can pay me back, when I join you in Hell.'

With that, Wolfwood turned his back on an unfortunate encounter, and at the same time laying to rest an old specter that could never haunt him again. He joined Vash in the car, and the two sat silently for a while.

"Is it better, now?"

"No." Wolfwood answered honestly. "It may ease my sins, but only you ease my heart."

Vash turned to face him, green eyes turned gold with the lenses perched on his nose. Wolfwood returned the look, staring deeply into the soul of the man that would save him- had already begun to do so- with only the light of his love and the promise of more years to come.

"Nick?"

"Yes, Tongari?"

"... Are you sure you don't want me to drive?"

~~Owari~~

**********

Ping- And that's the dramatic version. Sort of dramatic, anyway.
Drunky- Damn long, that one.
Ping- What are you complaining about? You went to sleep when you found out there was no sex. Well, there was supposed to be, but since the other version is nothing but...
Drunky- Psha, skimp on the details.
Vash- YEAH! -_-. ::grumble grumble::
Ping- I hope it wasn't too monotonous. Personality-wise, I tend to dwell on things and I think that comes out in my writing when I deal with emotions.
Druggy- LET IT GO!
Ping- GO HOME!