Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ Tolerant Patience ❯ The Liberty of Constraint ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Notes:

Crazies.. Jitter jitter.. Lala

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun. But the character, Kozue, is _MY_ creation.. most of everyone's pasts are of my making.. and of course Rin is my character. Any characters that may pop up may include ones from Fushigi Yuugi, FFVI, FFVII, or Gundam Wing.

Symbol Key

Dialogue= "Insert words/phrases/sentences"
Noticeable Intruding thoughts = > Insert thoughts >
Skimming frequency(add symbols for different, known people) = <>Insert Thoughts<>

!! Ermm.. Japanese !! :
"Kozue" means "Crown of the tree", "Tree top" or "Tree branch"

Pronunciation key:
'Kozue' is "Koh-zoo-eh" Don't make the 'oo' in 'zoo' too long!

Warning! Some Violence.

Editor's note: Hmm.. This was one of the difficult chapters to write..coming from a mentally seven year old child. I had to constantly pester the author into writing certain parts she hated. Anyway, Legato'll come back later. Not now. Later. So will Kozue. The person after the whole mind scene is a bastard mix of the two. And he doesn't even seem to know it. *sigh* Another thing, Kozue's sort of thinking to himself. Not really ever thinking to Rin directly because he didn't have to... Rin was listening very carefully.

Free Ice cream!! This way!! -- Not really...

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Whe re were they?

Where was everyone?

All by myself. No one here.

I huddled, held my knees.

Cold. Dark.

I wanted the lady back.
Nothing could hurt me if she was around.

My eyes got teary.
No, no.. Can't cry. H-he'll come back and..

A jab of pain. I hugged my knees harder.
Think of her pretty eyes..

... Sometimes if the sunlight caught them, the midnight color shone sky blue, and gold flecks appeared in green...

What was that?
I gave myself a bigger hug. It was colder. Too quiet.

No one here.

I felt the water run down my face.
Not tears.. Not tears, just salty water.

I buried my face in my arms.
It hurt.

Why?

I curled up.
Go away. I don't need hurts.

Light.

Words. A hand.

Am I asleep?

I held onto it.

The cold dark ran away from the light.

The pain didn't go away.

Was I safe?
I looked at her as if she could answer.

>Kozue, what's wrong? What happened??>

It hurts.

She frowned.
>Where are the others?>

Gone. I sighed strongly, my breath hiccuping. They left.. Went away.

Left me.

>Shh..> She hugged me. >It'll be okay.. what hurts?>
She let go of me, backing up to look at me.

Here. I put my hand over my chest.

She looked.. sad. Why?

You want to leave me here? I was scared. What had I done?

>Oh, Kozue.> She breathed out softly.

She picked me up, cradling me. Hugging me.

Warm. Happy.

But she wasn't.

I-I'm sorry.

She hugged harder.
>No, you didn't do anything wrong. It was me. > She buried her face in my hair.

What...? The hurt was going away, but still there. How...?

What could she have done to make them meaner? They didn't say anything to me after I tried talking to them. They didn't push me away when I hugged them, but they didn't hug back. They just.. left.

She grew stiffer. >I..I.. Mistook him last night. I thought I was giving him the small comfort of somebody caring, when I consented to his request... but then he woke up confused and enraged... >

So... I wasn't dreaming. I looked up at her expecting something.

She looked confused.

I remember being scared and cold. There was this bad lady that I had to stop.

Her eyes widened.

...She would have hurt you because you were smaller. And you kept calling me 'Legato'.

And then I fell asleep and I wound up here.

>It was you? No wonder...>
She stopped.
>He was angry... because waking up in my arms had reminded him of someone he could never have... Knives. >

I was sudenly colder.
N-n-knives?? I shook my head unsteadily. N-no.

He hurt me a lot because I wouldn't...



"Spider!" WHACK. Pain. "Give me that infernal animal, now!"

"But you gave it to me..." I sniffled. Why was he so mean?

"You will be obedient, spider!!"CRACK. Red flash. There's red in my eyes!! I can't see!

Can't see where my pet is..!! Where is he?!

I heard the noise of his boots as they moved.

I heard the inhuman shriek.

NOO! Don't touch him!!
He chuckled nastily.

I heard a wet crunch.

I felt something soft plop against my back.

It rolled off.

I reached for it.

"Let this be a lesson to never get attached to anything. That this is the true painful existence called life. You, spiders, will all die anyway, so never become attached to life; it will only let you down."

My hands found a lump of sticky fur. My kitty...

The only thing you did wrong was touch me.

My eyes watered. I killed you.

Crying, I stood up, seeing through the blurry red, his figure that loomed over me.

I threw myself at him, attacking with my fists. Not mine. Not mine.

"What, are you attacking me?? What for? I didn't hurt you, just that filthy abomination."
KICK. I gasped for breath. SMASH. Stars. Thwack. Darker, darker, dark, dark.

Sharpness, my breathing, choked.

"Are you trying to escape the pain, now? My brethren cannot escape the tortures put upon them from other spiders, why should you be any different??"

I couldn't scream at him, not enough air.
I HATE you!!

He grabbed my arm. Let go of me!!

I flung my free arm at him. His grip only got tighter. Can't breathe..

SNAP.

I screamed.



I was on the floor, being rocked.

I looked down.
She's small again. A small voice in my head commented.

Is she crying?

I felt the pain in my chest get bigger, but it was different, detached.

No, but she seemed to be on the verge of them.
I gently raised my hand to smooth her hair."I am sorry. Did... I... cause you harm?"

She only glanced at me before clinging to me in another unwanted, smothering embrace.

"Who the hell are you?" I looked up and saw a man in dark clothes.
Disbelief was written across his face.

He was frightened.

I felt the urge to smirk sinisterly, but did not know why.

There were fuzzy images laced with pain, but...

"I..." I stopped. It was at the edge. I knew it so easily, but it wouldn't fall forward.

"..." He settled onto the bed.

"You can't remember?"
The teenage girl stared at me wide-eyed as if I had sprouted a deformity. "What are you saying?"

I leaned my head back onto the wall.
"..."

She released her death-grip on me, turning to the man.

I had this strange sensation that they were talking to one another... but that was silly they weren't uttering a single sound.

There was, however, a slight buzzing sound echoing everywhere. Like an annoying bug or appliance.

My eyes tried to find the sound but it seemed to permeate everything.

Instead I let my eyes wander. Not much to look at..

My eyes settled on the man.

<>Do.... something....<>

Was I hearing things?

I concentrated.

Then it felt someone switched the volume up to maximum.

<>..shouldn't tell him. He's already unstable...<>

I flinched and immediately their conversation became faint again.

I decided not to try that again.

This was irritating. They were 'talking' right in front of me, about me, that grating buzzing sound prevalent.

I stood up quickly and barely made it past the doorway, before I was stopped by two very large arms.

I blinked. The man was sprawled prostrate on the floor, writhing.

Numbly I tried to recall what had happened as I continued out of the room and down the stairs.

Hopefully, I would get some quiet. The static was giving me a headache.